Have We Deprived a Generation of Experiencing Judaism? - Likkutei Torah V'atah Yigdal #3

[music] the yeshiva.net. >> So we began the mimer. We began last week which was last week was this week is so we're middle of the if you go to it's page 77. We're middle of chapter 2, page 77. On top it should say in [snorts] the Hebrew it's lame column one. Litess column one. [snorts] We're middle of civ bay. Where are we holding? Right. So the line begins 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 like 15 or 16 lines from the bottom. You see all the great uh spiritual experiences that the greatest of the attained was only as a result and connected to the joy of the mitzvah. Yeah. Is referring specifically to the Arizal especially who says it clearly as I mentioned last time. No. Okay. Today's class before we begin is dedicated by Dan Gober with heartfelt wishes for a complete and speedy recovery of a for all is a dedicated to our brothers and sisters in the holy land who came again under attack from Iran last night. May Hashem protect them and crush the enemy completely. We should see complete victory and complete redemption. Amen. >> In the meill, right? It says is the day that um the king, right, the huh guys? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He sent the letters, the second letters [snorts] that the Jews can defend themselves against. Yeah. The king had transcribed in letters everything that Esther asked him that the Jews should be able to defend themselves against Hmon in Iran. Yeah, that's the 23rd of seven. Okay. The main point we brought out, the main point Alba made in the last section here is that there's two aspects or two ways or two dimensions in mitzvah in the celebration and the observance of mitzvah. One is that the p both are very even the first level is very very it's extremely deep and profound. In fact, it's it's all about depth and profoundity. And that is that a person appreciates the meaning, the full meaning and depth in a mitzvah, even if not the full meaning and depth in a mitzvah because the depth is infinite, but appreciates some some something of it. They they they see they perceive the quality, the meaning of it, the purpose of it, the significance of it, what it does to the person, what it does to the world. Yeah, as put it, it's not a small thing. It's they actually want a relationship. They want to access something of the light of infinity, the Hashem's will, which comes through this mitzvah, which is so it's not just it's not just you saying person is doing a mitzvah for selfish reason or because of popular opinion. what we call here you're talking about the first level is a very very deep level nonetheless says there's something much deeper than that and that is as he put it the notion that the person is in a very simple way doing what Hashem wants you would think that this is much lower than the first level the first level there's a depth there's a meaning there's a significance the second one could almost seem like robotic but he says that it could be that way but the truth is in its depth it's the opposite and said then the first level he says it's really the mitzvah serving as agula or a rafu or a business those are the three malam meaning it's transactional even if the transactional component here is a very lofty transaction it's not a transaction uh you know I want your money I want your house I I want your ego. I want your I want to control you. You're talking here about a a a transaction that is based on a very deep spiritual pursuit. So it's all relative. Of course, you know, relative to other levels, it's not transactional at all. But nonetheless, in a very deep space, this is a zula. I'm looking for a gula. This is the best of all the zulus. It's the real zoola and it's the real deal as they say, you know, the re this is the real deal. This is not camouflage zulas. This is the real zoola. Or I'm looking for medicine. I'm looking for reform. I'm looking for healing. This is the real healing. I'm looking for the real medicine, not the, you know, to support big pharma. I wanted the real medicine or maso mat. I'm investing in the greatest stock of all, not in a Ponzi scheme. I'm looking for the real stock. So, it's all it's it's real stuff. It's a real school and it's a real and it's a real stock. The benefits are tremendous. The revenue will continue going continue coming for generations. It's not a it's not like it's not a not not an evil thing but but but you're not you're not getting in touch with the of the mitzvah with the core truth of it with the core purity of it. It's like a person is investing in a business which makes a lot of sense. You want the benefit that comes from a business. Here it's not another thousand or another $100,000 or another million dollars. Here it's energetic. And not just energetic it's divine. It's a that's not the real of a mitzvah is that it's Hashem himself. It's him giving us the gift of him of I. And that like he said earlier I and because the eye of Hashem is pure a meaning it can't be described even the word doesn't describe it there's no definition there's no description for it it's the oneness that was there pre-creation and is still here and everything is subsumed in it so therefore to touch that nikuda it's precisely through the salam stripped from any agenda even the most spiritual sophisticated intellectual emotional and truly lofty agenda but still an agenda and when we say agenda here when you say I have an agenda it's in a bad way here no agenda is not in a bad way but it's an agenda meaning it's something I can describe something I can grasp that's what an agend it's great to feel good and to have all the in the world and to have all the benefits and investments in the world. But what's the true kayak? What's the true energy? What's the true power of the mitzvah? It's that simplicity. What he calls it the kabalas. For no reason. Not because I'm afraid of reasons. Not because we hate the brain. No. Because all the reasons in the world won't capture the true power and love and depth in the relationship itself in the purest form of the relationship which is beyond what what can be grasped or described in any term or reason or gishmach or flavor which by definition when you say the word tam which means reason and flavor it means my brain my heart my soul my uh my spiritual skill set can attain it can can grasp it which is already a symptom. It's already a dumbed down version. It's a reduced version of the true true power of the mitzvah which is atmospher. The simplicity of it. So why are you doing it? What what's in it for me? And the answer is avid means I I don't need a reason for it. It's the connection itself that is the greatest motivation. And the here itself, it's not because I'm going to be connected because I want to be connected. And when I'm connected, I'm going to feel better. Which is also an amazing thing. When you're attached to source, you're always going to feel better. Of course, you're in flow, right? That's not that that's not I can't it's it's it's hard to not estimate again and again how important that is. When you're in flow, you're going to be a happier person. Everybody knows that. You're in flow. You're you're not in an ego space. You're in a flow space. Right? That's what it means. You're aligned. You're aligned. That's ble. In other words, the benefits here are infinite benefits. It's the only way to live. That's called living living with alignment, not in an obstructed space. None of this, all of that still doesn't touch the atsmus, the core value, truth, and richness of the mitzvah itself. Where does that come out? That comes out in the simple dedication and surrender. That's what you want. That's what the Titus says. This is called when you ask a servant, a real servant, why you're doing it, what's in it for you? The question doesn't begin because the whole paradigm of the EV is that he's a servant. Now, usually we perceive in a very negative way, like unfortunately, he has no choice. He has no choice, right? In other words, because he's stripped from all of his dignity. Like you're a slave. You have no choice. Like, yeah, of course you don't need reasons. Like, whether you like it or not, it's irrelevant. It's not like, oh, because I get a a good paycheck at the end of the week. That's not what ane is, right? We abolish slavery for a reason. Because it strips a person away. If I'm going to work for you, I'm doing it for me. I'm not doing it for you. That's really the definition of a free person versus an ev. I may be your employee for 50 years but for only for one reason because I want your paycheck. I'm not doing it for you. I'm not your right and our system is designed designed around that and the truth is so you can get stuck here in the word right because is stripping a person from all their dignity and saying you are worthless. your entire value is that you're subjugated to your master and that's a horrific thing to do to a person. Somebody emailed me and corrected me. I said that the Reb said in 1981 that Abraham Lincoln is because he liberated the slaves. So it was 1980 Shabas. Just a little correction for those who do homework. Somebody looked it up. He said it wasn't 81, it was 80 and it was actually Shabas. though this week. So when we hear the word, it conjures very negative images. But the truth is here you have to strip it away from that. Here being an evid is the most liberating thing in the world. It's the only thing that actually gets you in touch with with your own reality. Everything else keeps you stuck. here it's not like God says my deed comes first now before this guy bought you as a slave I already got you as a slave so it's basically it's basically God is comp like you think yeah bought you as a slave but the TRUTH IS ALREADY BY I GOT YOU I BOUGHT THE HOUSE FIRST I MADE a down payment first yeah that's not the is when it's then it's not this of a yeah that's a whole that's the most that's that's what sets a person free the most but it's not because okay so now I'm also free this is the opportunity this is the gift of connection with the source of all sources where the person is actually liberated from any obstruction from any concealment that was the main that we learned what's the kavan of the mitzvah The of the says is itself the greatest comes from this type of it's the of complete B. There's no sim like the sim of complete B which is this this type of B not B as an achievement as a zula as a rafua as a business but b in its pure form why is this the greatest sim should be the opposite at least if I hold on to something there's more sim right I'm taking something home that's all when you don't experience even for a second the truth of but the moment you experience the truth of aid mulvado you know that holding on to anything basically is living in the darkness it's interruption so there can't be real bliss there's an anxiety there's an anxiety because it's an aberration of reality and the aberration of reality is something that the soul it hurts the soul there's an anxiety over there there's a craving there's a yearning there's a pain of detachment the greatest sim is in letting go completely completely where the eye doesn't have anymore the burden even of existence and that's the gift of the mitzvah that's done with and said on a conscious level doesn't mean he's not that there's no value to it you did the mitzvah you did the mitzvah and the spiritual benefits are there but this of channeling this this is through the the surrendering of everything to touch the most pure you and and and that means I don't I don't I can't understand it I don't need to understand I don't want to understand it all of that is just it could be a dist it could be a distraction not necessarily it could be a distraction yeah you tyist opinion martial art like when you have a certain relation with a person sometimes you're so motivated >> you're blinded almost don't worry if it makes so much sense it's >> I'm just in this mode of wanting to connect with this person >> everyone else I might have more >> yeah yeah >> it's true you see it even see it in human relationships obviously it's in a different magnitude but the point you could see Yeah, you have it. You have it in in many dumo. But for example, if you talk about human relationships, right? A very loving relationship. You also have the same two things. Of course, in in a different magnitude within a within the human framework, but sometimes I'm connected to somebody and the depth of the connection is made very very profound, but ultimately there's a zoola here, there's a rafu here, there's a business here. You're enriching my life, which is a very very beautiful thing. It's not the pure depth of what a relationship is. The pure depth of a relationship is where you can really tune in to the desire of the other person and I don't need to put it in any framework. I don't have to understand not because I don't have dignity not because I don't have selfworth. On the contrary, it's the greatest form of connection when I don't need to put right your desires into my framework. If I figure it out, then I'm excited about it. And if you don't figure it out, SO YOU'LL SAY, "OKAY, THEN I don't have a choice because you're crazy. So even if I don't figure it out, I'll do what you want because I want to avoid your mishagas." So that's like like almost like like that's the scafia from a very uh negative place like I have no choice. Like yeah, okay, you know, this is who you are or this is who I am. But but it's really it's much deeper than that. You don't need it. You don't need the reason. Not because you're afraid of the reasons. You don't need the reason because the relationship is so much. It's deeper than that. >> Shouldn't Shouldn't the ultimate level be living with the paradox of both of these? >> Avada, I told you last time he's not going to stay here now. There's his mamal. [laughter] When you talk about, you don't delete mamal. We keep on going back and forth because we push it. We can't say it both at the same time. Really every time you have to say it's one God. It's not Monday and Sunday is mal. Tuesday is back to and Wednesday. Don't forget it's all one. The way it's manifested in the human experience. [snorts] So the sadikim said that the greatest thing that they attained was this mitzvah the and like as we explained that this is the deepest component because it's the sim of the it's the of the oneness. It's not that the ego doesn't get in the way because there could be a lot of spiritual journeys and a lot of spiritual attainments and a lot of spiritual levels and nonetheless the person doesn't acknowledge that there are also some skeletons in the closet that surface and can hijack the experience. the sim mitzvah that was the sim of the b it's always bringing it back to oneness bringing it back to connection bringing it back to that and that's always a very powerful litmas test if my spiritual journeys or healing journeys have not taken a detour and haven't gotten off track because they can get off track they can begin in a very positive sense but ultimately it becomes about the self because I want to heal and it makes sense you should heal this is what he's saying rafu it's fascinating business. I want to heal. I want to be a healthy person. I don't want to be a broken, anxious, detached, disassociated, miserable human being. Is that such a bad thing to ask for? No. A person should be healthy. Right? Then there's agula means like a treasure. I want the richness of life. I want the treasures of life. I want the fun of life. I want the ecstasy of life. And there's masan. I want to get the most out of life. I don't want to be a poorer spiritually speaking. I want to be a I want to have a rich life. So all these things are the motivations that put people on a course of changing your life. Whatever that takes and nonetheless over here I can also get stuck. doesn't show up disappointment. >> Yeah, there's a lot of there could be a lot a lot of disappointment and my the skeletons we all have animal souls. We all have egos. We have skeletons and they can surface and hijack the process. And in the name of my self-enhancement and self-enlightenment and self-discovery uh I also become very very arrogant in the name of humility and self-love blind sometimes even you know to spiritual narcissism certainly superior complexes I look at everybody else stuck in their illnesses >> huh [laughter] >> oh there's a lot more there's a lot more there's a lot more here than in the other way, right? When you when it's coming from a lowly place, it's like, okay, it's pretty primitive and petty. Here, it's much more subtle. >> Of course, the higher you go, the kipa is much more interesting. >> It's sophisticated. >> We learned once in that even in this clip. Yeah. What's you remember? Ga cook of the bit. of the BM and it's not it's it's look at the B and now you have to understand the depth of that he's not saying it's not but and even to myself and it's not a judgment oh oh you saw your B so now you're evil it's not that it's just being aware of all the pieces that exist yeah you'll have a plea That's it. It's fine. [laughter] It's not You're not an evil person. You have a pleesh. Just know that you have that pile, right? And she lives over there in your house. That's it. She's there. Just know that. Don't turn the um into don't turn the um into the pinnacle of enlightenment. So on the contrary, the higher somebody goes, the more the more the the the more you're in business, the more your is successful, right? You have already made millions and maybe hundreds of millions and maybe spiritually billions says is a silver is a and is is gold. So a lot a lot of silver and gold and and here you can also take a detour and it's so sensitive because it's based on on a lot of beautiful things. It's not just based on you know pettiness and and and foolishness. So this is what mitzvah is. That's why he says all the it was ultimately in other words it was attunement. It was it was ultimately they understood that the ultimate truth is the oneness. And it's not easy. It's not easy because the bigger you become the bigger your ego becomes. And that's not a petty ego. It's a beautiful ego. And that's why it becomes so dangerous because it's really not petty. It becomes very very beautiful because very very sophisticated. It hijacks the greatest and the holiest. That's why in those frequencies you have to be much more careful than anybody else. The Gmorra says when the melik bows down by he's not let get up again. He stays down a whole every person you go down and then Hashem you lift up your head and the rest of you stand straight says it's when he goes down by he's not allowed to pick up his head again. So if you want to pelt him with that's the time in the middle of he won't be able to do anything he's going to stay down. So what does this mean? He's a melik he's standing in mis and everybody is standing and he's down. The answer is exactly. [laughter] Exactly. Because you're a king. If you weren't a king, you could stand straight. If you're a king, you need to be much more much more humble than everybody else. You're you're dangerous. Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts. Absolutely. And it's deeper than that. It's not just because you're corruptible because you have power. It's because it's much deeper than that. What allows you to have power is that you're more humble than other people. You understand? It's not just you have power so you have to be humble. That's what allows you to be a melik. If not, you're not a real melik. You're fake news. The only thing that allows you to be a leader is it's not just happened to be a humble guy. That's true. It's much deeper than that. What made me moa was only because he was more humble than if he was not more humble than everybody else, he should never be moenu. Should get a job in real estate. Or if even if he's a proud, he can't be moenu. It's only because he's un of mai. It's only because the the last vestage of ego has been eliminated that he could actually say I'm giving the rain. I'm giving like we learned in I'm giving the rain cuz that his eye if that if that eye has something that's stripped from a don't say I'm giving the rain. So once you touch those spaces, this becomes so much more significant because even a slight compromise of this where in other areas wouldn't even be noticed here it could become you literally obstruct the channel. If you're a channel literally you're plugging the pipe and you bring darkness to the world. There's a I think one of these weeks quotes the mag that he heard from the mag the mag said that the of much more than the of the zores the the alien thoughts of have a more damaging effect on the universe than the actual crimes the sins of rashim even though it's just makavas [laughter] and you understand why because You're you're you're touching high high levels of of energy that are being channeled and and and you're corrupting them. You say, "Well, it's just a mva. I didn't do anything wrong." Exactly. It's just a maka, but it's like a back-end program, right? If you have access to the backend program, you have to be very careful. If you don't have access, it's fine. You could break the computer. Okay. So, there's another computer, but if you have access to the program, you don't just give anybody access, right? They say, "Oh, there's an S before J. It's gibberish. There's like 3,000 exclamation points. I'm going to change the order of something, right?" And what happens the more the more you're you're the more you're in tune to that the more careful you have to be. So this is the they said all their came from the mitzvah. And what's the mitzvah? The mitzvah is the sim of the bit of the the opportunity to be able to be an the gift that I could strip myself from everything and just complete complete surrender. This is actually the deepest power of the mitzvah where it's accessing the pure truth of oneness that's beyond any definition and any description. So it's not that I don't need I don't want a reason because I'm a robot. No, because I realize that all the reasons in the world will only bring me to the threshold of human experience. And how do you cross the threshold of melting into divine oneness? It's tapa. No reason whatsoever. Now of course I I I say this just because I know the sensitivities when this concept is stripped from absolute authenticity it can be be a very abusive concept right when somebody's that's why I mentioned last time that kabala oil when it's misconstrued and misused especially by people who not working through their own brokenness use it to control or create compliance. You're literally taking the the purest the purest form of connection and human love and dignity and manipulating it and that's called just slum everywhere but in the don't bring in a you don't have to do that because this type of surrender you don't surrender this you don't say I don't any reason is going to take away why should no a reason won't take away like you want me to invest in your business you better give me a GOOD REASON I'M NO, NO REASONS. Don't Don't give him a dollar. Run, run, run the other way. Trust [laughter] me. You have to live this. You have to be in this space. Put it this way. If it's anybody besides a demanding this, asking of this, I would be very careful. And what's the litmus test in this type of surrender? You walk away. Ah, wow. Thank you for the gift. Thank you. That's the gift. Like we That's always a litmus test. You don't walk away. I'm such an idiot. [laughter] I was just I was just manipulated again by a guy with more charisma than me. [laughter] He has more charisma. He has more experience. He knows how to do it. He has a beautiful smile. He has a his beard is nicer, longer, whiter. His pays are nicer than mine. And he just hijacked me. Okay. >> You were in his reality distortion field. You were in his reality distortion field. Okay. Also [snorts] a good t-shirt. >> Used to say about Steve Jobs whenever he used to speak. >> Very good. >> So m leave the room. Wait, what just happened? >> What just happened? Yeah. In his reality distortion failed. Yeah. Listen, some people know how to sell you. What do they say? A good diplomat, right? Huh? >> Yeah. He sends you to purgatory, but he makes sure you're smiling on the way. Right. So you this happens also spiritually speaking and sometimes people even do this unconsciously. It's not necessarily in a sinister heinous criminal way. You have that too. But sometimes it's much more subtle. It's like I'm actually trying to help you. Just come over to my team. Just surrender your individuality. Melt away into my charisma and you'll be on the right path. I'll tell you how to live. I'll tell you how to be married. I'll tell you how to make money. I'll tell you how to serve God. I'll tell you everything. But the moment the person goes away, you see the anger that it creates in the mashia and the teacher and the mentor. And then you know that it's it's very it's it's very s this is sensitive things what we're talking about. It's very sensitive because it's not always so black and white, right? Surrender is the only real thing in life that you need to do. But you have to know who to surrender to and what you're surrendering to. If you're surrendering to the ultimate ultimate ultimate truth, do it every moment of the day. If you're surrendering to anything else, be very, very careful. Because that surrender could be also a terrible. I got an email this morning. Somebody sent me an email. I don't know who it is, but I want to It was very It was very powerful. I'm going to read it almost verbatim, but I want to read it because I think it's this person is is sensitive and is expressing something that people are struggling with. I want to thank you for your recent explanation of the last the last the last of the previous you validated something that has caused me immense pain. The realization of how deeply misused this concept is in many yeshivists and many communities. It feels exactly like what you described mime sal taking the holiest concept in the world and perverting it into an abusive tool creating compliance that's abusive. The underlying message students often receive is that the Tyra is against you. The Tyra hates you. The Tyra really can't relate to you. True maturity in our yeshivas, at least many of them, is taught as being your own worst enemy. And it's all packaged in the name of and sometimes in the name ofus. What bothers and confuses me even more is a glaring paradox. If it's true thatus is an authentic, deep and ultimate truth, how is it that so many mainstream yeshivas, I grew up in kabad yeshivas, I could speak about some of those yeshivas failed so badly in communicating it. In many places is taught as a boring abstract concept where everyone has a different version of what it actually means. Actual yiddish, at least the way I saw it, is often presented with a rigid rule. If you enjoy something or it starts relating to you personally, it's not tyra. If it makes you miserable, it's tid. If it actually resonates with you, if it really feels right in your being, it must be not. We're taught that tidy has to feel miserable and alien to who you are because if it's tira, it's kabala soil. And if you like it, it's your stupid ty. We talk endlessly about Madreas, lofty Madreas. I was in a in a mifa in a shir and they were talking about Tanya and the main thing was how alien it has to be to my experience. Somebody was telling me was telling us how lucky we are to have how lucky we are to have but underneath the psychological reality of me and my friends is heartbreaking. Many people are deeply miserable suffering behind a facade of being a bent, a good Jew, a big just to gain some sense of self-worth because they feel completely empty inside. And to compensate for that emptiness, we have beautiful names that we can identify with. So I am on this team and I am doing very very well, but inside there's something broken in me. The sad truth is that for many of us our real authentic selves don't feel invited into this true orbit of this leads to my deepest frustration. How is it possible? How is it possible that what it seems to me secular psychology at least in some areas has built a system that actually helps some people reach a deeper more sincere relationship with their souls than so many of our own yeshivas schuls and communities. Why is it that so many of our rabbis, teachers, mentors, rash, mashik, mashim are unable to do this? To be very honest, I'm supposed to read about myself now. Okay, I'll read. Okay, [laughter] to be completely honest, you're very the one of the very few people I've ever heard who teaches as a framework meant to talk directly to you, to the real you for your actual growth, authenticity, and benefit. Nonetheless, this has seems to have been lost in so many places. I'm wrestling with a profound doubt. Is it possible that really have meaning without a psychological lens? Is that possible even? I don't know. Is it possible that so many of our educators and parents and teachers have allowed their own unresolved traumas to distort their understanding of and of Yiddishkite? Everything they teach is through the lens of brokenness and trauma and they don't even know it. And a whole generation gets jipped from real authenticity, healing and bliss. It brings me immense pain to see how our education system often fails and falters. It brings people apparently it's supposed to bring us to great goals. Authentic aid hashem aas a hashem. And I conclude with the words of Naima. I see people who have done a lot of work in psychological frameworks and they seem to have resolved a lot of their wounds and here in the source of it all so much brokenness is camouflaged in the name of Santra. I would appreciate hearing your thoughts on the matter with great respect. >> [laughter] [gasps] >> This came uh at 12:00 a.m. middle of the night. So, I read it in the morning. [laughter] [gasps] I read it in the morning. Okay. I mean, [snorts] the letter speaks for itself, right? But the truth is, you know what? What do they say in English? There's what people know and there's what people don't know. And then there's what we know that we don't know. And then there's what we don't know that we don't know. And that's where the most important information is. What I know that I don't know, I know. At least I know that I don't know. What I don't know that I don't know, I don't know that I don't know. Isn't that brilliant? I don't know what I don't know. So, I just want to say like a number of years ago, I would have read this letter. I would have understood what he's saying. But in many ways, I wouldn't be able to really understand what he's saying because you don't know what you don't know. In other words, the real challenge here is not sinister people, people who are trying to do bad things. You have those, you know, people who are really like very sick, but it's not what we're talking about. You're talking about really, really good people who are actually very dedicated and mean well. But I I don't know what I don't know. Like for many years, I know in my life, I use my intellect to compensate for emotion, to compensate for experience. I didn't know I was doing it. I was doing it unconsciously. I used to think that experience of something is when you understand it well and you appreciate the depth of it. I thought that is what experience means. That's what I thought. The wires of experiential relationship simply were not connected or at least not connected fully, I should say. So when you understand something and there's a gishmach in it and never mind if I could teach it to others and they're getting affected, what's a better experience. Yeah. I did not know that. That's not experience. That's not experience. It's an intellectual thing. It's nice. Like we spoke last week last year, the brain is a beautiful thing. It's a tool, right? Oh, what was it? Shabas. Shabas. I said the brain is a tool. Yeah. It's a hammer. It's a screwdriver. We love screwdrivers and hammers. But the worst thing to do with a screwdriver and a hammer is impose on a screwdriver the obligation to figure out reality. Imagine you tell your screwdriver, you're responsible to figure out all reality. Why I'm here, who I am, how I should live, and the screwdriver is like, what? If I do that, the whole world turns into screws. And if I'm a hammer, the whole world turns into nails. It's all I can do. We do this with our brains. We take our brains and your respon the brains. I'm just I'm just a tool to figure out, you know, some mathematical quandries. I'm great at that, but that's it. We we we took our brain and we turned it into a god. That's what it means. You turn your brain into God. It's not fear. It's not fair for the brain either. So, I think like this is a very very deep journey because I didn't know what I didn't know. And so many of us don't know what we don't know. And it's not even it's not it's not it's not a it's not a judgment on anybody. It's just an awareness that I could be teaching and communicating and communicating and it's ideas and it may be good ideas and helpful ideas and productive ideas but nonetheless it's not touching the inner nervous system of the body. It's not touching the heart. It's not embodied information. And I could be I could do this for 50 years innocently, wholeheartedly and with dedication and kindness and nonetheless be stuck in a very deep gullis pim a very deep inner exile. And of course the journey is infinite, you know, till we're always trying to shed more layers and more layers. But just the awareness of of this journey is so so precious. We spoke of Shabas at length. what Greek philosophy did to the world. We learned that look at the says that there was a quantum leap between the consciousness of the world and bayrishna. So that's why there was no dening. There was just and the reason is because all of life was seen as dvening. So in he says suddenly life was stripped of a vibrant vivacious reality of the divine. Everything is measured in labs and it's seen as physical. So said so now we need a time for davening. In bayish if you say we're going to make a time for davening that's like a joke. It's like going to an African tribe and asking them what is a woman, right? And they start laughing in Harvard. It's a very important question. So like we're going to make a time for davining. The whole life is davening one. It's one big conversation with God. There's nothing else in life besides a conversation with God. And if you're having any conversation with anybody and it's not a conversation with God, stop while you're ahead. It's always a conversation with Hashem. You're talking to your wife, it's a conversation with Hashem. You're talking to your children, conversation with Hashem. You're talking to the tree. It's a conversation with Hashem. The hope of is that in Sheni life became stripped from that. Ao Zor died and with that died the experiential experience of divine oneness in every leaf in every grain of sand in every flake of snow in every frog worm and chicken hen and coffee bean. So created a structure out of spirituality [laughter] shakus. Why were there no braas? And by before you drink, you should make a bra. It was obvious. Duh. Whose coffee you think you're drinking? [laughter] DUH. BOR. OH WOW. GOOD MORNING. YOU AND COLUMBUS DISCOVERED AMERICA. HUH. A sus from the Ager's grandson. and he became a lublin passed away's grandson. So there's a I think what's what's the name of the par says over there that when you uh when you do right so you tell hashem you do every few years you confess that you gave away all the meister so he says I did everything you want so says mistress mistress I did not forget to make a when when I was mafish I think that's of beginning of right yeah I don't understand there were no braas were came in by no brah you didn't make braas on anything not on mitzvah not on food not on drinks when you gave today you make a braha when you when you do a mitzvah there's No brahas rash is interpreting the bas. So he says this vert he says it's not that there were no brahas that said let's impose another pressure on orthodox Jews. Okay, braas the every it was all understood. Of course you make a bra. The whole is is one big braha. They put it into words with a structure with a with the what he brings out. >> Yeah. It wasn't it wasn't a law. It wasn't a law. And that's why a desor was also so popular. What what does a desor really say? What does paganism really say? Paganism says that the tree is talking to you. The frogs are talking to you. The eagles are talking to you. Everybody's talking to you. Of course, you should worship them. They they they're they're infinite energy. The mistake of a is fragmented. There's no oneness, right? But Judaism is it's all oneness. It's God is speaking to you. It's all one. Greek philosophy took that eliminated that. So died and now what you can measure in the lab becomes reality. And now the world becomes a dead universe. And your rationality concludes if it's true, if it's not true. So even God is not a concept that exists in the Tanakh. It's not a noun. It's an experience. I'll How do we get into this? Oh, I was talking about myself. [laughter] So, so my it's just it's just this it's a very very profound experiential shift when we can begin to realize how much we don't know what we don't know and how I could do the right thing for so many years and even say good things and yet it's not embodied. It's simply not embodied. And I guess those of us who it doesn't work for them and the pain of life crushes them need to be very thankful for the fact that we were forced into a position where the old model broke down. I guess I'm grateful for that because the old model could become a tremendous exile and we have to be very humble and and humble to Hashem and grateful to the alter god you know that doesn't stop holding up that frequency of truth and you can't you cannot you cannot I remember I once asked uh somebody I was working with I said how do you know to trust your feelings like you One of the one of the ways, you'll forgive me, I'm going to be a little blunt now. One of the ways in which we propagate this trauma is by non-stop talking about how you can't trust yourself because you're bias. You're egotistical. Yay. And it's true. I'm biased. I'm egotistical. I have skeletons. Right? You can't trust yourself. It's a true concept. And it's also a very very untrue concept because ultimately you can trust yourself fully. But if you don't learn how to trust yourself, you're left with nothing. You're left with nothing. If I if I have to hear from you if I'm now sitting on a chair or not. Yeah. It becomes a a horrible horrible life. You have to know what parts of yourself to trust. You have to know about your biases. You have to always get feedback from people. That's true. You have to know that I may have terrible, terrible blind spots, but all of life is based on this feels true. This feels right. This is authentic. Don't just take that away from people because that is an invitation to literally be stripped from everything. If if you're mamish, of course, you have to trust yourself. [laughter] If you're part of a who should you trust if not yourself? Trust your infinity. Don't trust your darkness. True. But if you don't trust yourself, what else is there? Why? Why? Why did God create you? He's channeling himself through you. It's a mitzvah to trust yourself. It's a mitzvah to trust. That is the most one of the most important things. You have to learn the voices. You have to get feedback because yes, I could be completely off, >> huh? >> From people who love you and care about you and are not jealous of you. And as in Hebrew they say >> and they're not blind either. >> And they're not just trying to beat you up to protect themselves. Yeah. And that also you have to trust. And it's of course a journey. We make mistakes. We fall. But to strip that away and ultimately how do you know how do you know you're embodying something? And the answer is you know it. You feel it. You feel it. Right? That itself I needed permission for that. Ultimately I I know what is true. I know what is true. This can sound arrogant, but it's the truth is this is all of Bal is based on this. If you don't know what is true, then there's no way for you to distinguish between a and a mime that's written by an egotistical psychopath. It's only because you know how do you know? People have all these arguments in the world because you walk you go in and you say that from here I walk away. Yeah. I'm I'm more loving. I'm more real. I'm more authentic. I'm a happier person. It's not a joke. When I dive in and I'm actually talking to God, there's an experiential thing. If you eliminate experience because we can't trust ourselves, what do you do? You create a whole generation literally of robots, of dead robots. At best, they're AI and AI is much more brilliant than them. So, I'd rather go to AI. >> Keyword being artificial. >> It's art. Yeah. Like we we know when we know when something is touching you, the more work you do, you're like, "Wow." You know, the whole Tanya is based on the fact we have two souls, Nephus, Nefamas, and you have to differentiate between them. But you have to be able to differentiate between them and say, "No, this is my nephew a kiss. This is my nephew kiss. This is not this is not my egotistical broken part that's just trying to defend itself." It's not. And I've done that for too many years. I'm not going back to that place anymore. Sorry. >> Oh, I got another email on that note. >> I got another email from a Jew in from a Jew in Israel. It wasn't you, Rabbi Kger. You also send emails during the last period. You have spoken a few times that you feel that your speaking in the past was either bad or not as good as you think it should have been. I even heard you saying something about destroying some or all of your early work. Even if you feel that way, I question if it's beneficial for those who have been deriving great benefits from you over many years. and and one one may even think that what he came to learn from you was false or even worse. So please think this over with blessings from an old man says [laughter] with blessings from an old man. Thank you. >> Of course it's everything is a journey. He would not be here without >> of course of course of course >> without [snorts] >> and as we always learn the dammora says that shuva of love doesn't take away sins it transforms them which means every mistake every failure every setback even every moment of ignorance is redeemed that's the real truth it served a purpose and it was part of the oneness even when we were there we were stuck as stuck it doesn't take away from the fact that it was stuckness But to quote to quote myim when you bring that experience back to hashemi it's part of it >> great yeah so one of the most powerful lines that's from Tanya it comes from zar Tanya chapter 12 the brain rules the heart and again if I did not if I did not do my inner work though that line can be used as a tremendous defense for disassociation and I used it that way personally I have to say the truth could be translated there's a dictator in the brain who's very powerful and his job is to rule the heart and tell the heart shut your mouth don't feel in fact if you feel you're going to be a messy immoral horrible person if you follow me, you will actually be a good guy. You'll do the right thing. You will uh be a good person. You'll bring goodness to the world. Yeah. You'll get married. You'll have children. You'll do what Hashem wants. And in secret, it's more quietly it says you'll get validation. Uh people will like you. That's that's that's it says a little more silently. You know, that's unconscious. But consciously it's you're not going to allow your to rule your craziness. Shalot means yeah a tyrant. It's a dictator. That's what you do. And when your HEART STARTS EXPRESSING PAIN, OH BABY, BABY, IMMATURE, EGOOMANIAC, whatever the mechanism is, and the beats you back into shape literally, and you show up good. And and in many ways there's something beautiful about it, right? A mother says, "I'm not in the mood of nursing my child. I'm not in the mood." I don't want to wake up in the morning. I DON'T WANT TO WAKE UP. What do you tell yourself? So, you don't want to wake up, right? If you want to support your family, you better get out of bed. I mean, for those of us who have to get out of bed in the morning to support our family, unless you're running a business from your bed with your phone, like many people do, you don't even get out of bed. But if you're getting out of bed, but we all do that. I want to eat this potato chips. It's it's such an important concept like everything just like it could be very misconstrued. Shalot doesn't mean a dictator. The word shalot is used I believe first by Ysef in Egypt. Who? What did Yseph do for the people in Egypt? He made sure they all got food. If not for Ysef, everybody would have starved to death. Because he was a shalot. He took control. He made sure to put away food over seven years and then allocate it appropriately so that everybody in Egypt could live. They and their families and their animals and his own family and everybody was saved from hunger. A shalot means a leader. You're a leader. The heart needs a leader. The heart needs a parent. The heart needs a mentor. The heart needs a reb. The heart needs somebody to look at the heart and say, "I'm here. You're all right. Let me hold you. Let's decide together what's going on. That's what it's not to shut down the heart. That's not what a leader does. A good leader doesn't shut down the people and say, "You're all a bunch of idiots." I don't want to hear what that's not what a leader is. A leader brings out the best in people. A leader respects the people and also can tell the people, "Yeah, you're on the wrong track." The took out the the could be hollering, "BREAK HIS NOSE. BREAK HIS WINDOWS. RUN AWAY FROM THIS MARRIAGE. DON'T TALK TO YOUR KIDS EVER AGAIN." THAT'S THE HEART, RIGHT? And the mak is like, "I I understand you. You're you're going through a very very heavy painful experience. You're you're basically throwing you you're you're you're throwing a tantrum." So, it's mamish like a good father and mother. What happens if your two-year-old throws a tantrum in the house? Literally, that's what our heart does. It's throwing a tantrum. I am scared. I am anxious. I am a What does a good mother or father do? You pick him up and you hold him and you give him a little ice cream. Or you just hold him tighter and he screams more. Screams more. And what do you do? I know what you don't do. You don't say, "I'm the leader in this house." You shut your mouth. Babies cry. We don't allow crying in this house. Never open your mouth. And then you your 2-year-old forever. Which is what happens. We never cry again in our life. Crying is the most feminine, weak, horrible thing in the world. Macho men don't cry. Macho men perform. [laughter] I should cry with what I just said, but I'm not there at the moment. So, right. That's what we That's not what a parent does. A parent is a leader. A parent goes to the child and says, "You're hurting. I am sorry. And if we have to call out salah, we'll call out salah." But actually, we don't have to call out salah. You know why? Your sister just took away the doll. Like, we don't have to call out salah. But you're hurting. So, let's work with it. And slowly, you help your child grow up without denying from your child the right to be a child. And that's what love means. >> It's a beautiful thing. You can go. PEOPLE THINK, "OH, IF YOU SAY THIS, SUDDENLY everybody's going to become a serial murderer." Rabbi, WHY DO I SAY THAT YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SUPPRESS YOUR HEART? OF COURSE NOT. [laughter] It's not going to help. You're just going to become an anxious, anxious person. You're going to become a 2-year-old who never grows up. [laughter] You turn to your heart and you say, "Yeah, you want to do something that's immoral. I understand you and I'm going to hold space for you, but you knowing I love you. I care for you. This decision is going to wreak havoc. It's going to create destruction. You do not want that. Go into your inner heart and you'll see I'm here with you. And you work with your heart and sometimes that's isafia and sometimes it's and sometimes it's kabala soil and sometimes you don't even understand and it's fine. You calm your heart and you say there's a parent who loves you and is here. That's it. You get it? You see the difference? >> Thank you for bringing it. [snorts] >> People think they learn Tanya. They think of Ben and Tanya is the most repressed person in the world. They also forgot that in the same Tanya it says that the bony every single morning is ON FIRE WITH GOD a hashem because that piece nobody relates to how do you love God I know how to be a robot I don't know how to love God the same Tanya same Tanya doesn't right because there's there's a lot of emotion there you can't be a benony at 3:00 in the afternoon when you're stressed if in the morning you did not have a few minutes of experiencing God it's impossible you could see it in chapter 12 and in many other places because I had an experience, a reference point of what it means to embody the energy of Hashem. So 4:00 in the afternoon when I'm stressed and I'm hungry and I'm overwhelmed and I get that text, I could remain regulated and I can remain aligned with my divine soul, but I'm not a robot. I'm not repressed. I know everything that's happening. There's another expression in that poor chapter 12. When when when when when jealousy comes up or hatred comes up or anger comes up, you push it away with two hands and like somebody once argue with me that's against everything you teach. MEANS YOU TAKE BOTH HANDS OUT. YOU NUDGE UP. There's no place for you in my life. And then you're LIKE HOLDING SPACE. WHAT HOLDING SPACE? They don't hold space. It's a complete misunderstanding of Tanya means you are so clear. Huh? >> Okay. [laughter] No, but he says you're so clear what's poison and what's not poison. It's of course [snorts] a simple example if a woman comes over to me and starts doing something that's inappropriate or anybody right the moment I know that going down this rabbit hole is poison I may have a temptation and I'm like I I know from experience I am not going there by like if you put poison into the coffee it may look beautiful but I'm pushing it away I'm not I'm not repressing anything. I'm actually very conscious. I'm very alert. I'm very alive and I'm very happy about it. The is not repression at all. >> It's acknowledging it and knowing exactly what it is, where it's coming from, what it's going to do to me, and therefore, you know what? Thank you. But no, thank you. Bye-bye. Have a good day. It's actually it's the only way to live. It's the it's the most it's the healthiest way to live. >> You have clarity. This is this is this is coming from my insecurity, my trauma, my brokenness. It's going to get me stuck in crazy relationships. It's going to destroy my marri. I'm not going there because, you know, cuz I like myself. [laughter] People think that is based on self-hate. It's the deepest self- loveve in the world. I have a temptation. I have an addiction. I have a weakness. And I know exactly what it is. and I experience the bliss of being with my divine soul. You know what? I'm not going into this conversation. It's not part of the equation. I I like myself too much. Only people who really like themselves and love themselves could do. If not, you're not >> that's I just this just came in. The only people who could be is people who have real self-love because you have enough respect to say, "Sorry, you're not crossing the threshold of my home even though you're hiding in the closets. I know that. But consciously, you're not getting a seat at the dining room table. You're going to continue hiding in the closet. I get it. That's part of my I'm fine." That's called real selflove. [laughter] Real self-love, which is divine. If I don't have real self-love, it's not like maybe [laughter] maybe this woman has something for me. Maybe coming I don't have enough self-love. I'm insecure. To be you have to have confidence. You're secure in in in who in your truth. And it only happens from self-respect from real self-respect. Now the moment all the boys and the girls will be taught this experientially by parents and teachers who are experiencing this and working this in their own life in their own marriage, their own relationships. You will have an entire generation of teens who will not only be uh uh affected by it, but they will be mesmerized, transfixed, they will take it more seriously than any previous generation of of of Jews or of but when they're not hearing this in an embodied way, they feel something is off and then they all need to find their happiness in other outlets. That's what's happening. And people are blaming the kids. You know why? It's because it's easy to blame them. But the truth is that's not where it is. I speak to enough teenagers. It's not that. And I have my own children. So I don't even need to go out with other teenagers. Okay. My my I told you I think I told you my son once told me in the kitchen, one of my boys said, "Then you'll start embodying what you teach, you won't have to use so many words. Boom. Next. 10 years of therapy for free. I don't have to pay $25,000 to get that after 10 years. You understand? This was in the kitchen. I was a passing dag in the middle of the night. You know, t when you start embodying what you teach, you won't have to use so many words. Next, [snorts] right? When when people will teach Tanya or anything they're teaching in an embodied way because they're doing the work internally, every 14year-old which so many of them are dealing with be wow. But many of us are still sitting on a on a on a pedestal >> and not necessarily in a bad way. Not I'm I'm I'm saying again not talking about sinister people. I'm talking about good people who actually are trying to serve God. But you don't know what you don't know. I got a letter from a big mashpia and a yeshiva. I'm not going to read this letter. [laughter] It's a long, long letter. The bottom line is he feels nothing. He feels nothing of what he teaches. And he feels his only alternative is to become a secular Jew to leave Yiddishite. But he knows that that's not necessarily going to be him happy. It's just going to be doing nothing. But it's not going to make him happier. And he's describing his stuckness. So I answered him what I feel he should be doing what he should be doing for his life [snorts] and uh and I said just remember this is not just an individual responsibility which is also important but if you're a mashp if you're a mashik if you're if you're a spiritual man he's a spiritual mentor you know particularly yes and you have 50 boys 100 boys and maybe over the years it's going to be a few hundred boys or a few thousand boys and you're looked up to as the spiritual mentor realize that your emotional disassociation will become for them the model [snorts] right of what theishkite is. So it's actually hurting hundreds of people's lives. Not not it's not your fault. It's not like you're not trying to do anything wrong. But you have to realize the the the moral responsibility here. Now, how does one even begin to know this? How do you even begin to know this? I'm a good guy. I wasn't arrested. [laughter] I don't kill anybody. I don't steal anybody's money. How do you even begin to know this? That's a good question. Huh? There's a letter. I never knew this, but somebody sent it to me. There's a letter from the labb to a Jew. I never I I don't remember ever seeing him write this way or speak this way. He writes to him. Um he writes to him, I'm not saying it verbatim, just the concept. He says, "I read your letter. I want to suggest to you you should not be going into the field of psychology because based on your complete complete lack of sensitivity and even curiosity to know what's happening in other people it would be very very damaging complete lack of attunement and sensitivity I don't even think he says you should do anything to do with living creatures not even animals a person like you should only deal with doim with things that are lifeless. For example, you should become a librarian. That's what he says cuz even animals need sensitivity. Not even. So, it's not it's really not for you. It was it was was shocking, right? But he said it's you have to you have to understand this. I think the beginning of it is sim is not something you can fake. We can make believe I'm happy but really deep deep down do you have real inner joy inner serenity because it's it's a real feeling of safety in the nervous system and if we're not h if we're not experiencing that so something we're not touching something this was the bump the bump regulated the world he regulated the world he we talk about is not intellectual it's not intellectual >> [laughter] >> It's not God. He's good and he rules the world, so everything is good. I'm anxious. I don't know what you I don't know about you, but I'm anxious. And the more you say that, the more anxious I get, especially, you know, with the thumb comes up. And he makes a he makes right. I don't I have never seen a nervous system calm down for mathematics. With all due respect to mathematics, God is good and and therefore and even IF IT'S BAD, it's good. Why am I so anxious? >> Why am I anxious? Now, sometimes it's so bad and I can relate to this unfortunately or maybe not unfortunately. Our intellects hijack the system so badly that we even have the ability to tell ourselves we're not anxious. Some of us who have been given certain brains could be so off the track that intellectually we convince ourselves we're not anxious. For that you have to be a bal Madrega already, right? You you you convince yourself you're you're you're downtrodden but you're happy. And that's like the most miserable of miserable cuz now like now [laughter] THE BECOMES no it's beautiful. And we even have a story for now. We'll use Rabaka. Rabaka was also laughing, right? We have words for everything. Trust is an embodied feeling. That's whyb never stops with what's it means embodied. Learn and learn. If it's not embodied, if it's not, if I'm not feeling it right here and right here in my physical heart and in my physical muscles and in my physical nervous system, something is off. If God is real, it's real. It's not real here. It's real everywhere. And the body is the arena where happens. That's where he wanted it to happen. So, it's not a bad that is the whole point of Say it another hundred times. on him here again we understood what's means go down to the lowest lowest lowest places what's the lowest place your nervous system for heaven's sake your mess your mess your your your brokenness that's the lowest place that's where he wants to live that's exactly it it's a beautiful that's the whole that's the whole idea that's what embodied means that's what that's what midas are that's what it means bring it in for midas that's the yeah the the brokenness and to be able to [snorts] find a light that comes through the cracks. Yeah, exactly. >> That's why seeing God in every challenge regulates a nervous system challenge, >> right? We we just have to have a lot of sensitivity here because you can't impose it on your nervous system. You have to work with it. Like that's is where again could be misconstrued like if I force it, it's not this, it's not this truth. And that's where teaching stops becoming teaching and it becomes mentorship. It becomes connectivity. Connectivity. It becomes relational. Any teacher in any yeshiva who's teaching these things, you have to be able to look at your students and shear and see the eyes, see their eyes light up. And that's what communication is. That's what teaching is. And when that 16-year-old hears something and he looks into himself and he says, "Ah, wow." That's how you change lives forever. That internal wow. >> 50 year olds >> or 50 year olds. Yeah. Or or 80 year olds. >> I once heard a talk by a uh his name is Benjamin Xander. Benjamin Xander. He's the head of the Boston Philarmonic Orchestra. He's a British Jew uh saved from the Holocaust as a child and I'm sorry, he was a British Jew who who came over to the United States of America and he once gave a talk and he's a he's a he's I believe a composer and a conductor and he said something very beautiful and I took it very personally. He said, "As a conductor, how do you know you're doing a good job?" How do you know you're doing a good job? Well, you say they have to stay on tune. Obviously, I mean, there's the basics. And he says, "The answer is I'll look at the audience, right?" He says, "And until I don't see the fire in their eyes, I don't see the fire in their eyes, I know that I did not hit the spot." Right? The Rebi used to always say the fire needs to go up on its own. But any form of communication and teaching until I don't see the fire in the eyes, in the person's eyes, not in my eyes. So, it didn't hit that spot. It wasn't embodied. It was just information, which may be good information. And it's not a bad thing, but it's just a different type of experience >> or Christ, >> whatever it is, the the life in their eyes, sudden the eyes open up and you could see like a little like a tinge of like like a little resurrection. >> See their soul >> because you when the soul awakens when when when your soul awakens in your body, it's obvious. Now, sometimes we have so many so many blockages, we don't even know about any of this. And I'm telling you the truth. I did not know about anyone. I did not know about this. I I could maybe talk about it, but I didn't have you know we could talk about it feelings and emotions and it says in everywhere you have to have emotions. It's not we have so many emotions. We have a mitzvah. It's called we have mitzvah about emotions. I could talk about it but the experience of it I still struggle with it but I'm trying to shed some layers here because it's really a journey to infinity so it doesn't stop the journey doesn't stop you know it's not like ooa we got there okay right that's the biggest kipa right we got there it's always shedding another layer another layer another layer how many layers are there the answer is infinite >> [laughter] >> right the of all the layers but till then there's layers and layers and layers I looked up two sikas today from the ayat from the previous labb and one I remembered and one as I was turning the pages was a gift of this morning one I remembered and I looked it up because I wanted the exact lash and the exact language Sim that's 1925. Now you have to understand the circumstances. This is Bolevik Soviet Union 1925. The Rebayats remained alone in the Soviet Union right leading a underground revolution against Stalin. It's already in Stalin's days. Lenin died in 1924. So Stalin was now the absolute exclusive dictator and tyrant. not the the absolute dictator and tyrant who for the next 30 years would murder millions and almost murder the rebba himself. So it's the middle of a p 25 92 theat turns to his secretary whose name was kache fagen doesn't say a last name but it's known was kachagen who was a very he was a gone he was a big big a big gun he was he was burnt alive in the in the holocaust with his entire family in ria he was a special special person we have letters from him and [snorts] he was a personal secretary of He was a he was a very special person. So he said in the middle of the I'm going to say in Yiddish and then I'll translate they called him. The light of is not true reality. The revelation of essence is not true reality. That's true reality and that's embodied. Yeah. Is not everything is what he's saying is even it's light. It's a projection. It's a reflection. Is the revelation of essence because it's revelation. It's already a description a definition. So there's already aum there. Why? This is what this this is my desire. It's the mitzvah. That's what the is talking about here. And [snorts] I believe I once heard from K, but I'm not sure that this was in context that the Fabangan was going very very late. It was and said it's time to da and wanted the Fabangan to go longer [laughter] because the revelations were too amazing. So this was what he said to him. doesn't say this in the because it doesn't say what he said but that's what he said you want you want and I'm giving you is yeah now you have to understand this is a that's all about every the whole world is that's what we learned in what is right the is ain't nonetheless he was saying even can be a trap Even Gila could be a trap. Now halif for these types of traps. It's there's a trap and there's a trap. But even that he says it's not ultimate emas. In other words, if it's taking you away from if is taking you away from you were just you just were derailed. Now this was a talking to if is taking you away from it's amazing. It's beautiful. But I'm telling you, you just went away from MS because the ultimate MS is the ultimate MS. The ultimate the ultimate MS is the ultimate MS. And if it's taking you away from it, you just take went away from MS as this is a few pages later the same year. How do you translate it? Forged. Uh, how do you say I don't know how you say it in English? Uh, >> there's no word for >> it's almost like like you would say you spoiled yourself like allowed himself to say something that somebody else wouldn't say, but he it's like he he gave himself the the liberty, the luxury to huh, he treated himself. Yeah. To say this. It says the whole par of it's one of the hardest paras right you have a man his wife is deviant she betrays him or at least possibility possibly alleged she hid with somebody and a questionma she not so you have to do the whole process of drinking the water she claims she's clean but it may not she's pure but it may be there was adultery here she doesn't want to drink it's fine she could just leave the marriage but if she wants to drink that will determine If she survives and becomes healthy, God says she's good. Your wife is the best of the world. Go back. You don't need any therapy. God himself becomes the marriage therapist. And [sighs] it's one of the longest par. It's like it's based on it. Like this is the core of the soul. Is the light of the goes into the body. That's the wife. The husband and the wife are two halves. You have the essence of the soul. And then you have the wife is the that goes into the body. And that's the is to get married because the iso embodied not the soul al betrays him. What's the betrayal of the soul that went into the body? This is only the betrayal is that he wants in comprehension he wants to understand the reason for the mitzvah that's the betrayal is any reason takes away the says I want to get this the betrayal is I want but through I want to be able to control it. I want to be able to hold on to it. And here is a question. She went into seclusion against the husband and we don't know if she's pure or not. If here it becomes a very long process of scrutiny. Is it possible that from so many philosophical and investigations the soul did not fall in to the abyss of human ego intellect if that's not what happened which is tuma. Okay everybody have a beautiful amazing day. Thank you for listening. [laughter] This [music] class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net. Please help us continue the classes. Make even a small contribution at ww.theshiva.net/donate.