Hashem Open My Lips: Together for Tefillah, a project of the Consortium of Jewish Day Schools

Okay. Thank you, Rabbi. Thank you, uh, all those involved. Uh, I don't want to leave anybody out. I don't know who was, but Morita texted me earlier tonight and I'm sure Moradasa I don't want to leave anybody out, but thank you for including me and involving me and I I helped myself to one and I'll go out with my father maybe and he'll talk to me about Fila and then we'll qualify as a parent and child for our $20 voucher. who who is not inspired and motivated by that. So I'm I'm super excited and grateful. Um I also want to give a shout out to my friend Rabbi Yemen for his leadership and his vision and putting this together. And it really is exactly what Israel needs. It's a soothing salve on the open wound of the Jewish people who are living in a time in which we more than ever need to connect and turn to the ribon shalom and to use prayer to feel anchored and connected as the winds around us are blowing with anti-semitism and assimilation collectively nationally but also individually I don't know anyone who's not going through a challenging time themselves in whatever area or arena of life and the place we turn to the arms we collapse into are those of the almighty the shalom we do through Davening is our talking to Hashem. When we learn Torah, Hashem is talking to us. And any relationship needs conversation and communication. Every relationship needs us to dedicate time. And that's what Davening is. It's identifying and allocating time because it's meaningful to have a conversation. There is no relationship, not marriage, not parent and child, not friends, not business partners, that if you neglect spending time and if you neglect communicating that the relationship can thrive, let alone even survive. And our relationship with Hashem is no different. It needs the time and it needs the communication. That's exactly what is and that's why this initiative is really fantastic. I'm excited and honored to be part of it with the shar tonight. grateful to the consortium of Jewish day schools for putting together this uh curriculum and also echoing the same sentiment. It's this partnership. It can't happen without it. A child can learn all about file in school. If they come home and don't see parents davin, then it's unlikely that they're going to be able to connect with it. If you stand in shul depending when you come to shu with your parent, what time they get there, do they talk the whole time? Are they running out and escaping from davening? Do they need to engage certain substances to numb themselves just to be able to survive davening? What's the odd that that child is going to find meaning and turn to when they need it? If the parents running away from it, so it needs the school and it needs the modeling of teachers and it needs the curriculum and the Torah. It needs the parent and it needs the home and it needs the example and of course it needs the shul to be able to provide that environment. That's exactly what this is. And it's really um it it's hard to believe or hard to say a breakthrough to be able to have a program that creates that partnership and connection. It should be obvious, but like many or most of the greatest things in life, it wasn't until now. And so we're very grateful for it. So I think you have in front of you a curriculum. I believe this was prepared by Rabbi Penner. So everything Rabbi Penner does is wonderful. And this is uh no exception to it. And we'll make our way we'll add some things to it. We're not going to keep you too late. I don't know if the refreshments in the back were meant for before, during, or after, but I see the coffee. And I wouldn't blame you if you go for it. In in Bokeh, like 8:10 at night is like 1 in the morning in other communities. You know, 8:10 in Bokeh timing. I always say we're the same time zone as New York, but we're like an hour or two, you know, ahead or behind, however you see it. So, uh, please help yourself if you need caffeine to get through. I don't take it I don't take it personally at all. Why is this so critically important? It's not in I'm I'm going to try to follow what was given but also share some other ideas. The Gmorra lists and the rabbis say that there are four things that need every day. There are four things that require us to reinforce and to work on. And one of them is fela and that's so important to know because it's so reassuring and validating. If you struggle, I struggle. I struggle. We say the same thing every day, three times a day. And it takes time if you're doing it right. It's not something you gloss over or you just dismiss. And it's hard in the multimedia world in which we live in which you know I'm involved in this a little bit and the whole discussion of the experts in that area. How long can a video be before you le lose people? What's the maximum length of a real? Is it 60 seconds or 90 seconds? But if you go beyond that, you've lost people. And here we are, not 60 seconds or 90 seconds talking to Hashem, but here we are asked to come to Davening, which takes time, whether you're in shul or at home, it takes time and it takes time to do it right. And that's hard. It's really hard. We need to be engaged and entertained and we need multimedia. And to just open a sitter or a static text and think you're going to connect with it, it's really hard. And that statement of that it needs that it needs reinforcement is is not sad. It's validating and it's saying stick with it and keep to it and it's worthwhile because all good things in life are worthwhile and they take time. I won't take the time now. I I saw an article recently I saved maybe I'll write an article based on it someday soon which was the science of why we love to see or say or sing things over and over again. What do you love more? or the song that comes on that you've been listening to for 20 or 30 or 40 years that you know every word and you know every drum solo and guitar solo and you anticipate everything that's going to come or the new song that you're not yet sure you like. Every new song is not good till we heard it several times and maybe it makes it onto our our playlist and people who have their favorite assuming appropriate things to watch. So they watch that same thing. Oh, I love that. I love that show. I love that movie. I love it from my youth. And there's a whole science to why in fact there's something positive about we know what's coming, we can anticipate it, we can predict it, we're ready for it, we're emotionally braced for it. And when I saw that article that was about music and about media, I thought immediately about feel about Davening because even though we're saying the same words again, see it as your favorite song. See Davining as the great playlist that you know it's coming. You can brace yourself. You're emotionally prepared. You anticipate my favorite braha is my favorite sentence. This is the line I love. This is the song that we have. and you're all ready and you're all ready for it. So the repetitiveness of it, the redundancy of it is not something that should drive you away from it or make you sad, but lean into it just like we do in other areas of life and ride the waves of it to really be lifted to be lifted by it. So let's get to some of these sources and we're going to in this introduction begin with the opening of the Amida. And I'll give you a little shameless plug if you enjoy tonight and even if you don't, we have something called sitter snippets. We began many years ago. We started at Moda Ani. The opening words we say when we open our eyes in the morning and we're actually up toward the very end of the Amida. We're closing in on snippet number 700. There's six minutes approximately or supposed to be uh in length. And we've made our way through Davin exactly for this reason. And I didn't do it for anyone else. I did it for myself because spending the time to prepare to make my way through those words of the sitter from Modi through the end of the Amida and hopefully we'll keep going well beyond has opened my eyes and helped me understand because if we don't know what we're saying then how can we be expected to say it or say it with meaning at all. So the opening of the are these words in source number one my master open my lips and my mouth will declare your praise. People mistakenly think that you take three steps back and as you take the three steps forward you say but that's incorrectly you should say when you've already taken three steps forward and when you are beginning when you're ready to when you're ready to begin even the three steps forward we said it half half an hour but this is so hard this is one of my my favorite topics do you know why we take three steps forward I can't help but share because it was last week's para last week's paraud approaches Yoseph to confront him and demand and that Binyaman be let free to go back and return with him. There are three places in the Torah that the word vayash is used. Aram fights for stone vayash he approaches god. Yehuda steps up for his brother vigash. He approaches Yoseph. And the third is harlawi vayash as well stands up and advocates defends the honor of Hashem. The Ramadan of Mosh quotes the who says the reason we take three steps forward because the word vayash means to approach one vayash two vayash three vayash when we step forward for the amida we are stepping forward in the footsteps of a yehuda and elyah and interestingly they each stepped up to advocate for a different population who's a advocating for a advocating for the wicked evil terrible people of stone and you see the power is not only to stand up for the righteous but even those who are struggling who are not righteous and to davin on their behalf. does it for Saddam Yehuda Davin's for a brother the primary purpose we step forward why Hashem I'm here on behalf of my brothers and sisters of Israel and ali sorry not no yeah dav's for for Hashem Hashem's honor the bal are dishonoring Hashem and sometimes you see the use and power of even to stand up for the honor of the almighty who relies on us for that as well and this is a critical idea A that davening is not only about me, my needs, my wants, what I'm lacking, what I what I hope for. Davening is on behalf of others. The three vayash when I step forward, I approach the amida. Literally approach the amida. Three steps. My three steps forward are I'm here on my behalf certainly, but also for not only the righteous, even the wicked. I'm here for my brothers and sisters, and I'm here for even the honor of Hashem. And then only when I take those three steps forward am I ready to begin. I learned in Katzilla day school the great Rabbi Adam Englander I think he introduced it maybe he didn't but the idea of taking those three steps forward I I try to do it myself I learned in that holy middle school ding there of taking a deep breath there is the pause that he used to have before gal because a person should pause center themsel anchor themsel eliminate distractions and be present and mindful for this critical conversation that's called the amida it's called the amida because we stand when we to Hashem. The rest of everything leading and building up to it, we're talking about Hashem, but we're not talking to Hashem. Everything after it, we're talking about Hashem. We're not talking to Hashem. The only part of all of DI that we're talking to him is the part that we stand for, the we stand before God. And that's why we don't disrupt. The Mishna says, even if a snake was wound around your ankle, even if a king is interrupting your conversation, when you're talking to the king of kings, you don't interrupt. Of course, if it's a dangerous snake, it's different. But we don't interrupt for anything. Unlike other parts of Davin that we do when we're talking about God, we can interrupt the conversation to be like God and have the courtesy of answering others. But we're talking to God, we don't interrupt for anything. So, we take those three steps forward. Take that deep breath. Lean in. Be present for this conversation. And we begin. Hashem, open up my lips. Let my mouth tell, let it declare your praise. Why do we introduce the amida with this phrase? Why do we introduce the three blessings of praise and then the 13 of requests and then the three blessings of thanks? Why do we start with open my lips, open my mouth? Yeah, I've been doing that. I've been here for a while. I've been here since a halakma. It's by the time I get to the I'm all in. I've been here for a while. Now I say open up my lips because this is the amida. This is it. This is what we're working for and towards. This is the conversation says source number two is the recognition that everything's from. We recognize will I be successful in this conversation. It's really kind of counterintuitive and ironic. I say, "Hashem, I'm about to have a conversation with you." And my first prayer is a prayer that I have a good conversation with you because it's so hard because our mind so easily wanders because our best ideas and our longest shopping lists and all the things we have to get to come to us when in the middle of the Amida. Because we can start those three steps forward and the next thing you know we're at the three steps backward and we don't remember anything in between. It is so easy to be distracted and if we're going to be successful in this critical conversation that we need his help and somewhat sort of paradoxical or ironic we says what we're beginning is Hashem open up my lips let me ask for the right things focus on the right things be mindful be present be intentional let this conversation go well it's a prayer that our prayer go well because even prayer needs prayer it's so difficult and it's so easy to fail and to be unsuccessful to be distracted that even our prayer needs prayer. It says that's what Hashem is. It's asking Hashem for help to say the right things. Not only that we enunciate the words correctly. Not only that we're mindful and present and not distracted while we say it, but also the amida itself. I like to give this metaphor. Maybe you've heard it from me before. It's one of the great ideas Hashem ever put in my head. I think um tila I'll give you the example maybe you relate to it a little bit imagine it's your anniversary it's mother's day father's day it's a birthday so you remember and now you need to communicate some affectionate nice idea so you take out a napkin and a pen and you write dear and the best day of my life happened when we got married and made the world better your birthday and and you write on the you hand it to the person the person says are you serious I appreciate the sentiment. It's very sweet, but the back of a napkin, that's the best you could do. Where's my card? So, the next year you go and you spend some obscene amount of money on a card stock piece of paper that some Hallmark poet wrote for you and you buy the card and this one's perfect and it says it all and it's poetic and it's also funny and it also has a pop out and it also has a musical thing and it's amazing. The perfect card. You buy the card, you put it in the envelope, you come and you say happy birthday, happy anniversary, happy Kaneka, happy and you give the card and they open the card and they say it's it's written beautifully and it's really nice and the author of Hallmark or American greetings for my own mishbuck I better say American greetings the wife family. So it's beautiful but you have no personal sentiment. There's nothing that you want to add. You couldn't even bother underline, you know, the double underline, the single under all the things we do to make it look like we actually read the card and care about the card and the card communicates how we feel. And you couldn't write something else afterwards. So, what's the right thing to do if you know what's good for you is to both get a card, not use the back of a napkin, but not just hand the card, also write something into the card. The amida is the card. Anchesola, infinitely greater than hallmark and American greetings put together times a billion. Anasdoll the man of the great assembly authored the Amida. They gave us the card. This is the template. This is the script. They had the wisdom to be able to anticipate the needs, universal needs in all places and at all times. These are the universal needs we have. So we say the template, we deliver the card to Hashem. But he looks at us and he says, "You have nothing personal, nothing going on in your life, no connection you want, nothing you want to say to me." So the amida really is this card. And what we're supposed to do as we say it is for each braa particularly the 13 blessings in the middle the ones of request and supplication we're supposed to identify what do I need. So in that pregnant pause before the Amida in the Rabbi England or deep breath after Hashem's what should you be doing is review the day that is ahead think about what do I have ahead okay my kids got a test please let them even though they didn't study adequately nevertheless let the questions be the things that we did cover and somebody has a doctor's appointment and my livelihood I got a big business meeting I got to close a deal and when we think about what we're going through and what's in the day ahead. We will be dying to be able to write our own language into the template and script that is the amida. Don't deliver Hashem just a blank card. Write in your personal life, your personal journey. Write in your diary of what's taking place your day. What do you need as help? What's happening? What is to come? Put it in the put it in the first explanation. Why do we introduce the with because I'm praying that my prayer be successful. Hashem, let me think about the right things. Ask for the right things. Praise you in the right way. Let me remember to be grateful and thank you. Hashem, let it flow. Hashem, let me connect. Hashem, let me be mindful. Hashem, let me be transformed. Hashem, all of that is in those few words. All of that is in those six words. Hashem's in six words. We're including I'm dabing for the tells that the early it means early pious righteous ones who aspired for that life and lifestyle they would meditate an hour before davening then they would dav for an hour and then they would come off of davining for an hour afterwards. say that today we do that with the zimra. Our psyuk zimra represents that effort to anchor ourselves to gather ourselves to focus ourselves. We don't do it for an hour nor is ding an hour nor do we have an hour after davening. We are a generation that has condensed all of it enormously but we do prepare. And why why is the gumar telling us that? Because it's impossible to have this conversation if you're not going to prepare. Are there any meaningful conversations you go into life without thinking it through, without preparing, without knowing what you want the outcome to be and what's the best way to get there? What will you say that will be effective? And what should you avoid saying that will be counterproductive? So that's the preparation to the Hashem says is where I prepare myself. What am I trying to accomplish? What am I trying to achieve? What do I need to ask for whom am I standing? And why am I turning to him and surrendering to him? Why do I believe he has all the answers and he's capable of anything that I need? That's our time before the we went from an hour before to just six words. That's the time we allowed ourselves to get ready and be ready and to have that conversation. Source number four and explains again how challenging it is, how distracting, how difficult deting is. So, if we don't work hard, if we don't prepare, if we don't get ready, if we don't focus and center our thoughts, we have no shot. We have no possibility. I'll tell you a little secret about your phone. People don't know this. It's a good thing you're sitting down. It's a little secret for you. Do you know that you're allowed to put your phone in airplane mode even when you're on the ground? You're allowed to put your phone in airplane mode. Better yet, don't even have your phone anywhere around you while you're diving. Because research shows that just having your phone in your pocket, even if it's off, is going to make you feel like there's things coming in, there's things that are happening, the things I need to see, the things I want to respond to, things I need to know, even if it's off. But if you put it at a distance, if you leave it away from you, then you're making the effort. You're demonstrating, you're really preparing that I'm in a conversation that I don't want to be disturbed. Leave the phone. If you're coming into shu, leave it in your car. If you're dabbing at home, put it in the other room. If you have to have it on you, turn it on airplane mode because it is so hard that unless we do everything that we can in our favor, it'll be nearly almost impossible. Write source number six. What is the what's the work that happens in the heart of the mitzvah is not necessarily to d well but to make the effort. The outcome we can't necessarily control. We'll do our best. There are million things that come into our mind. But the question is did we make the effort? Did we prepare? Did we work? It's work. It's called avoda. Davening well takes work. But also conversations in marriage and parenting and business negotiations, they take work. They're worthwhile. If you have a successful business negotiation, the outcome is worth it. If you have conversations in marriage when you don't feel like it and you're not up to it, or you're having conversations to resolve differences, they're well worth it for the relationship, the closeness, the connection that it yields. as a parent raising a child where it takes conversations often difficult ones communicating it's work it's time it's effort when you're exhausted but it's worth it if you have the outcome of the child please God that you're hoping to mold and shape that you're hoping to inspire and daming is worth it it's called avoda it's called work because it takes effort and it takes work and as much as we wish I wish it came naturally just want to meditate and reflect and go for a walk on the beach and connect and commune and fabang and have a kumz sing to Hashem. It doesn't happen that way. Maybe at times it does and we should bottle and capture that. It's wonderful and beautiful, but it takes effort. It takes work. It's called for a reason is an appearance before the King of Kings. When we realize we're standing before him, we may lose our ability to speak. So, we have to ask Hashem for help. When you consider before whom we're standing, when you think about how he's almighty and all powerful, we can freeze. You know, many years ago, and I'm saying this not to flex, I'm saying it to make a point, so please believe me, but many years ago, back when Florida was a swing state, and Palm Beach County in particular mattered and our zip code determined outcomes of elections, remember the hanging chads? that election was decided by like our voting district by a few people who went or didn't go. So it mattered. So only because of those reasons I was invited to a series of meetings at at the White House. And I remember the first one I went to with members of the administration was during President Obama's first term which you remember did not get off on the right foot on the pro-Israel community. I'm not sure it ended in the right foot with the pro-Israel community. So there was a series of meetings with a small group of of rabbis and Jewish communal leaders. So I was going to it and I remember it was my first time there in the west wing of the white house in the Roosevelt room leaders of the administration one of the meetings the president himself joined and I remember before I went thinking about if I got a chance to speak what would I say and I was I learned with our former congressman who was a dear friend and we used to we used to learn para together and I told him I got this invitation and I'm going and he said to me and I'm so grateful to him for it he said everybody else around the table all the others who are invited, most of whom it will be their first time there. They're going to be mesmerized by the room, by the aura, the White House, the Roosevelt room. And it is, it's everything they say, and it feels special. You get goosebumps just being there. And they're going to freeze. They're going to forget why they're there. And they're not going to speak up. They're going to be so enamored and so grateful just to be in the presence of such power. They're going to say respectfully, and they're going to listen, and they're gonna, I want to understand. And he said to me, he said, "Look around the room. Take it all in. pinch yourself and be excited and let go because you're there because there are things to say and say them and I did and I'm proud of what I said in that meeting and at those meetings but that initial feeling that you have ladah a billion times over a trillion times over you stand in front of the king of kings and you say you're powerful you control the universe you're infinite omnipotent who am I what am I how can I speak to you so says open my lips don't let me just be mesmerized don't let me just surrender don't let me become passive. Let me recognize this is my invitation. This is my moment. This is my chance to say what I want to say, to ask for what I need. This is my chance. Let me not forfeit it. Let me not lose out on it. Let me rise to the occasion. Let me say it. The manic says similar. This is request for permission and the opening of prayer. This is what we're getting at. Now source number nine put it here in the source sheets sort of cryptically but I want to expand upon it because this is what I've always found most meaningful about this that we open the amid with me Hashem and let me speak to you. Why does Hashem need to forgive us? Forgive me and let me speak to you. Why do we need forgiveness? So I want to call your attention to where this is this that we begin every open up by lips. It comes from Psalms chapter 51. Anyone know what the theme of that of that paragraph of Psalms is confronting the fact that Nasavi has given him significant rebuke over the episode with Bacha. He sees a beautiful woman bathing on another building and he is drawn to her. She captures his attention and she's married to Urya who he pulls back from the war and he sends back to the front lines and the whole episode is the part in school that kids pay attention to. Most teachers skip so [snorts] it's the only part kids voluntarily read on their own and it's difficult and it's complicated. And the Gar says do not read it the way it seems. Anyone who says to if you say David made a a sinned then you're making a terrible mistake. Now the notes that anyone who says David sinned is making a mistake. You're not supposed to say it but you know who said it. Whereas he says Hashem I failed you. I made a terrible mistake. We're not supposed to say it because there's a whole calculation and technicality because had signed a get before he went off to war. So when he died retroactively the get had taken place. So by the time David was with BVA she was already a single woman. Well if you're the defense attorney you'll advance an argument you will definitely win the case. So we should not say David sinned because technically he didn't. But you know who says he did. I made a terrible mistake. And this is that capitol where is recognizing and owning up to the mistake that he made because rebuking him for it and he admits it and he accepts it and he owns up to it and now he's not sure how after he recognizes he's made such a terrible mistake. How is he going to come back to Hashem? How's he going to talk to Hashem? Does Hashem really want to hear from him? How do you begin that conversation? How do you make amends? How do you reconcile? How do you repair the damage that's done? You don't even know what to say. You don't even know where to find the words. So says, "Hashem, please open my lips. Please give me the words." Have you ever been either the party who hurt someone or the party who was hurt and now you haven't spoken and you haven't spoken in a long time and no one knows even how to begin the conversation? Sometimes you could be sitting there and looking at each other and hemming and hawing and it's really awkward and there's no eye contact and no one's know one knows even how to start the conversation. Someone is hurt so bad. What do you say? What do you even begin? How do you say? So gave us license. What I think about with this is gave all of us license because you're gonna say, you know, yesterday I made all kinds of promises to you and then last night I stayed up late and I was scrolling. I was watching you and I wasn't watching everything I should be watching or thinking everything I should think or doing everything I should do. And now you get up for shakers and you say, "What am I going to do to Hashem? I made him these promises at marv last night. Look how I failed." Hashem gives us a license and he says Hashem wants to hear from you. Hashem, open my lips and help me. And then after made all these promises, I'm going to be the best person ever. I'm never going to fail again. And then you went off to work and you forgot, neglected Hashem in life, whatever you were doing. And now it's time for Mikah. And you say, how am I going to drag this conversation? How many times am I going to promise Hashem that this time it's going to be different? And now I'm supposed to talk to him. He wants to hear from me. What words am I going to say? So David said, "It's okay. This is what you're gonna use to open every conversation. Hashem, I got it. I know it. I'm working on it. I'm a work in progress. I'm sorry. But open my lips and let me have the conversation. Let me find the right things to say. Believe in me and let me believe in myself and let me believe that this is worthwhile and this is something that's true and something that I should do. So that's what these opening words to me are really all about. They're about first of all, we saw prayer is a gift. of the recognition that everything is from Hashem. I need I need good health. I need success. Anything good I'm going to get, I need to get from Hashem. Including if I'm going to have a good feel, it's only going to come because Hashem helped me and allowed me to have it. And therefore, the first thing we do in ding to Hashem is that we dive into Hashem. That we dive into Hashem. The first feel we offer is that we can dive in successfully. of lublin. Second is that it's permission. Hashem, we're knocking on your door. We're not going to be intimidated. We're not going to be enamored. We're not going to lose our tongue because we're going to sit there and be in awe of the Roosevelt room. We're standing in the King of Kings. We're going to forget, not know what we want to say. We're asking for permission and we're formulating our words and we're going to remember that we're here for a reason. The Mish we saw spent an hour thinking about before they dabbed. That first meeting at the White House, I got to Washington and I remember I I went there's a park opposite the White House and I remember sitting on a bench in that park with a pen and notes. I was just thinking through meticulously precisely if I get to speak, what am I going to say? What words? How long will it be? What will be my inflection? What do I want to ask for? What's important? What should we focus on? Everything. You know, I've been thinking this week I I don't have an opportunity. So, this is the opposite of a flex. It's embarrassing. But if I had an opportunity, BB's in Florida, really should be at Bocertton Synagogue. President, if if you got to spend two minutes with Prime Minister Netanyahu, spend two minutes with with the president, what would you say? And I remember I spent an hour at that park and I thought through every single specific word and I still remember on the flight home that night, I still remember. I remember two things. I came out of the White House. I called my wife. I told her how excited, how amazing, what I said, the exchange we had, how special it was to be there. And she was excited for me. And then she said, "But don't forget tomorrow's garbage day. So when you get in tonight, no matter what time it is, don't forget to bring the garbage to the curb." And I'm so glad she did. I always bring that as an example of it's really important to have people around you who keep you grounded. Never become too full of yourself no matter where you were, what meeting you were in. That was one thing. But the other, I remember the whole flight of home, I was really ashamed. The whole flight home, I was so embarrassed because I remember thinking to myself, every day, three times a day, I'm in the Oval Office. I'm in the Ribonum's Oval Office. I have an audience with the King of Kings who determines the outcome of everything. And and it's not this president or that prime minister or this adviser or that cabinet member. It's all whatever we need for ourselves or for our people. And do we put in the preparation? I remember how ashamed I was. I never put in a fraction of the preparation for a conversation with Hashem that I did for that conversation in the White House and I was embarrassed. But that's Hashem's focus. Take that deep breath. Think about why you're there, what you want to ask for, what matters, what we need, and what counts. And lastly, but no matter how far we've fallen, no matter where we think we are, know and remember, Hashem wants to hear from you. I sped this last Shabas for those who didn't hear it. Um also the three steps forward the don't forget three steps forward dominating not only for ourselves we're there to advocate and ask on behalf of others as well but I said those words the says it could have said that Yehuda spoke to Yseph. Why does it say the says that while Yehuda was talking to Yoseph outwardly he was talking to Yseph inwardly he was talking to Hashem. But why the word? So the says because a person might say to themselves, you know, Yehuda made a lot of mis mistakes. Again, it's not me, it's the Torah saying it. But Yehuda failed to save Yseph and bring him home. Yehuda and the story with Tamar on our list of things that teachers skip and children run to fill in for themselves. The story of Yehuda and and Tamar and Yehuda could feel I'm inadequate. I'm unworthy. Who am I to speak to Hashem right now? So, what's the word the Torah uses? says, "Hashem tells us, I'm always approachable. No matter where you are, no matter what you've done, no matter how far you've fallen, no matter how inadequate or unworthy you feel, no vigash, approach me because I'm always approachable." You know who's always approachable? A parent. No matter what our children, if they're in trouble, if they need us, if they're calling for us, we say, "Come here. I want to hear from you. You could fall into my arms. Let me hold you. You could tell me anything. I want to help you." So, Hashem says, "I am forever approachable. That's Hashem's. Hashem says, "I'm approachable. Approach me. Don't worry about where you've been or what you were doing. Don't worry about the promises you made just the last time that you davened. Hashem's I will help you open your lips. I'm giving you license to dav and ask again. This is just a forbice. This is a little bit appetizer to what the series is all going to be about. If all of us can work on it and take it more seriously and focus and focus, turn the plane to airplane mode. Turn the phone to airplane mode. Leave it in another room. Leave it in the car. Don't bring it into shul. Demonstrate for our children and for ourselves. This matters. This means something. I put as much attention into this as I do anything else. And that the outcomes of our lives depend on these conversations called because our rabbis tell us you can't have success in anything you do. Anything you do. You want the winter break vacation to go well. You want to have the money to be able to afford to go and do it. You want us to be healthy enough to go on it. You want whatever outcome we're working towards. None of it can happen without asking for it, without dening. So, Hashem should help us center ourselves and focus. Hashem should help us open our lips and find the right words. Hashem should help us take this together for seriously with a bagel and a coffee and locks and cream cheese and elevate us all that all of our should come from the heart and therefore Hashem should answer all of them for the good. Thank you so much for coming tonight. We