Hashem Is in Control, But You’re Still Responsible | Living with Emunah #396

Good morning, Booker Toto. Welcome back to Living with Amuna. Great to be back together again. Really missed our learning, our studying, our reading, our sharing, our laughing, our growing. I hope everybody was living with Amuna, even in our absence, learning and listening to countless other opportunities. But it's really special and great to be back together again. I want to thank our generous amir sponsors, Drs. Avi and Bella Morgan. I enjoyed an incredible meal with them when I was in Israel and their amazing family. In memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Gabbid in memory of Bella's mother Dr. Ellen Chanzer. We remain incredibly grateful for their generosity as they also sponsor in the merit of Hashem watch over our holy precious soldiers. Our series is also generously sponsored anonymously in memory of the fallen soldiers of the Bavid Mina and all the wounded soldiers since October 7th. Today she sponsored anonymously for the foolish speed recovery of Sarabas anonymously baas motion in honor of on Monday. anonymously Nishmas Marvin Matis Bened and by Rivka in memory of her father David Benzev on his Uite. Thank you to all of our generous generous sponsors. Okay, how do we catch up on countless weeks and so many emails and so many stories, so many flights, so many things that happened. It's hard. It's hard. But we'll do our best because I also want to dive into a brand new safer we're going to study and learn together. a remarkable safer which I really was enjoying learning over the summer and I want to share some of it with uh with you. But first a few things. So first of all I just have to I was so excited. I got to uh get together with my friend Zev of Irvavid. If you haven't been to David I can't recommend it highly enough the absolute revelations and miracles of Davidid to be transported back in time. They've now completed you could walk what they call the pilgrimage road all the way from the mikvah the pool on the bottom. You could walk up all the way to Harab, the original road. You're walking on the same ground that they walked during the time of the second Ban Mikdash. The same stones. You can even wipe your finger in certain places on the ash of the burning of the destruction of the second Ban Mikdash. In fact, I don't want to get in trouble for saying this, but he gave me a vial of ash so that when I officiate at weddings and the based on the is to put ash on the forehead of the It is actual ash from the burning of the B mikdash which in some ways is so sad and tragic and takes us back to that loss which we still feel and in other ways is so hopeful because even as we have access to that ash look how the Jewish people are back in I mentioned yesterday in the parishes suffering and struggling through the crazy traffic of we say the empty barren desolate destroyed city Jerusalem And today there's traffic everywhere because the Jews have repopulated after 2,000 years. It is holy, holy traffic. Holy traffic. Anyway, but my friend Zavir when I went to go see him gave me this t-shirt digging with David. And on the back of course number 23 his and hers since has filled in with he gave me one for her too. digging with Amuna, city of David, ancient Jerusalem, digging with Amuna. Number 23, they continue to dig with Amuna and they find all kinds of amazing amazing things. We got to see some excavations that aren't even yet open to the public. Big thank you to Zev. Appreciate his friendship, his leadership, all that he does at Davidid and for this great uh great t-shirt, which I really enjoy. Okay, let's read a couple of emails, then we'll dive into our new text. There are source sheets up here. If you want to learn and listen, we'll try to post them in the WhatsApp group. Just a reminder, we are moving over from WhatsApp groups to WhatsApp community, one community for Amuna. We're doing that because it's more safe and secure. Nobody could join who shouldn't be. Nobody can see who else is in it. So, you won't get solicited by anyone who shouldn't have access to your number. So, if you haven't yet switched over, switch over because the current Amuna groups are going to uh are going to cease and we're only going to post in the Amuna community. There's a link in the group, so click it so you join. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, thank you for the incredible sharing every single week. It's practical, insightful, and inspiring. Not everybody agrees. I had it's among the greatest joys and most gratifying and satisfying things in my life to travel the world and meet people who are learning and living and listening to Amuna with us. It's incred. My kids don't think it's so incredible, but I think it's incredible. It's incredible and it's beautiful. So I won't say where or when and certainly not who but a man came over to me on one of my recent travels and he said to me said my family had a difficult year this past year. We had health issues paros we had a difficult year this past year and I just want to thank you because the amunasir got my wife through it. He said it happens to be I disagree with almost everything you say but it got my wife through it and for that I want to thank you. So I said I also disagree often with what I say. So don't feel bad. These are complicated things. You say it one week, you disagree with it the next week. The key is that what I found fascinating is he's listening to it. He may How do you know you disagree with almost everything someone says? Because you're listening. If you weren't listening, you wouldn't know you disagree. Anyway, so that was among the greatest. I would like to share a beautiful moment Hashem gifted me this morning. I was asked to sit with a patient being admitted to a psychiatric hospital. My Uber driver dropped me off in a completely wrong place about 10 minutes away. I didn't know the area. I was frustrated and the person I was taking over for was already desperate to leave. As I walked toward the hospital, I kept taking deep breaths and repeating to myself, I am where I'm meant to be. I am where I'm meant to be. And then as I walked through the hospital, Browns, a young Jewish patient, walking back from a walk. Second she saw me, a Hisha Jewish woman. Her whole face lit up. She was overwhelmed with emotion. She told me how incredibly lonely she feels, how rarely she sees another Jewish person, especially in a psychiatric hospital. I told her she's loved. She's not forgotten. She's not alone. I happen to have some gifts with me which I gave her. We exchanged numbers and I'll be going back to visit her in mitem. And suddenly that wrong Uber drop off didn't feel wrong at all. Maybe I wasn't lost. Maybe I was being led. And today I was be able to implement what we learn every week. I was exactly where I was meant to be. Thank you again. So a beautiful ability to feel that hug, that kiss from Hashem, to live life in moments that could be and should be frustrating. Instead to say, embrace, lean in. Sometimes we discover quickly why and other times we wonder, but always we are where we are meant to be. I got several emails with questions over the summer and I want to get into it as we'll learn with Amuna. And one of them is about this. One of them is this question. Is it a copout? Is that This is the first time ever anyone ever wrote it to me this way. To say y a wb took me a minute to figure that out. You are where you are supposed to be. It's a new anac new acronym. It's a long acronym, so I'm not even sure you save much. But the author writes, "To say Y a wastb is to say you got to where you are at this very moment without agency." Meaning no decision that you have made up to now has brought you to the place that you are. Hashem has guided you. For example, the city I live in the job I currently have because Hashem thinks this is the best place for me and nothing I could have done would have changed that. At least that's how the con concept is being portrayed. In my opinion, I feel that could lead to a lack of responsibility in one's actions. And this is the question I get asked. Is it a copout? Are we passing the buck? Are we blaming another? Are we hiding behind Hashem? Are we hiding behind Hashem? It's what happens when you come to Shir at PRS. It's around the clock. You're going to hear a chauffeur. It's a beautiful thing. So maybe some people are going to hide behind y aw yb. We're not where we are because I left late. We're not stuck on the side of the highway because I didn't fill with gas. We're not where we are because I made the decision to be here. Oh, we are where we're meant to be. What could you do? And therefore, nobody has to take responsibility or accountability. Nobody has to own the consequences. Nobody has to grow or improve or repair. Nobody owes anyone ever an apology because you're always where you're supposed to be. Yeah, you were sitting waiting for me and I ran late and I didn't care, but you were where you were supposed to be. Is it a copout? So maybe you'll respond and I won't read the maybe you'll respond but anyway but to always say y aw yb can be coping mechanism in my opinion people can make bad decisions it'll lead to pass and maybe will make it harder to accomplish your aod in life to always say it means no to never say it means noka maybe it means sometimes this was a question not only the author of this email but in general so I want to reiterate that first of all it's complicated I want to say clearly in our shear we oversimplify And we do that on purpose because I think when we over complicate we end up confused and we end up not living with the amuna that could bring the peace, the serenity, the happiness, the equinimity that we're all looking and yearning and searching for. When we over complicate the different models and modalities of amuna the Rambam's version's version versus we could academically study all the different approaches to amuna amuna the general amuna amuna specific amuna is amuna reciprocal and proportional to the faith you have or is everything that happens from hashem it is a complicated suga and we could academically present it maybe we will one day as a separate series to go through the sources and to see the different approaches and to validate different ways that people come at it. But for our purposes and in this year we oversimplify. We go with and we go with what is the predominant certainly approach but not only which says that everything is from Hashem. Absolutely everything is from Hashem. the isbbitz approach that takes it to the extreme that not only is everything that happens to us from Hashem but everything that happens through us is also from Hashem. Every decision we make good and bad. Every choice that we make not only to do the right thing but even when we make a choice to do the wrong thing even that was orchestrated, curated, organized from above from Hashem. How do you understand that? How does that make sense? How is that meaningful? some of the great Raban I met with in Israel. I asked this question because I'm still on this journey and I'm still trying to work this through. When is it our initiative and our effort and when is it from Hashem? When do we say absolutely everything is from him and what about my there's a moment of free will of autonomy of choice. It's about me. It comes down to me. So one of the people I asked a great RV I actually quoted him in my article this week as well who has one of the largest shurum in the largest yeshiva in Israel maybe in the world and he told me a story he said every he tries to get nali not for honor or glory or ego he's a very very humble person but he's a mag he's a reb teaches Torah so he feels like the beginning of the new month particularly was kesh the newman and yeshiva was starting so to get a to is for him a very big thing. Now here it would mean going up to the gaba asking to replace this place somebody else. in Israel in the community he lives in every the minion factory he goes to every minion 10 shekele coen 10 shekele ley 10 shekele is they auction it off so he was bidding to getishi and I guess people know who he is usually when he bids he wins but someone was bidding against him and he went up 20 shekel 30 shekel 50 shekel when the guy said 60 shekel he said I'm done I'm out be a nice thing I like to get an aliyah onesh particularly if I don't get the aliyah I can live I'm out so The other guy bought the aliyah. He got it for 60 shekel. Turns out there was no cohen. There was no coing in the room. So what do you do when there's no cohen so you you give a bim coin. You give a in lie of the coin. So the guy saw that this rv was bidding and he said you know there's no coin. So new you take the isra bim kum coin. Turns out he got his aliyah without paying without having to go up to the 60 shekel. So I asked him afterwards. It's an amazing. So he saw that as a hug and a kiss from Hashem that maybe whatever Cohen were planning to come to that minion went to another. There was no coin there. So even though he lost the bidding, he got the aliyah and he got it for nothing or for the original 10 shekel and it was all a hug and a kiss and a wink from Hashem. Hashem is amazing. But I asked is that was that Hashem or was that you? Was the Cohen's to not go to the minion? Cohen had free will didn't attend that minion. The other guy had free will to be bidding against you. Hashem could have made it. You got shishi for your original ten. How do how does it work? How how does it work? It's complicated. I don't want to say I stumped him, but I was sort of validated and relieved to see that, you know, even great Rabbon would give some of the highest levelum in the world. This is a difficult sug. It's tough. It's okay. If nothing else, I want to tell you, even though we oversimplify and we do it on purpose and intentionally, it's complicated. But I think here here's how it goes. Here's how I see it. Here's how I try to live it. When there's a decision to be made, when there's a decision that has to happen, when there's a choice, it's entirely up to us. Who am I going to date? Who am I going to marry? What job am I going to take? Where am I going to live? What minion will I go to? Will I bid for the aliyah? When there's a decision or an action, it's entirely up to us. Once we've done our initiative, our effort, made our decision, the outcome, the outcome, the result is entirely up to him. entirely up to him. I could decide to bid for an aliyah. I want aliyah that day. I can't control who else is bidding. I can't control whether kohanim came or not. That hashem has the impact that Hashem orchestrates. Did my alarm clock go off? Did I make the million I wanted? Did I end up at a later one? When I got there, where I got, how I went. Hashem sets so many variables in place in motion. It creates a stage and an opportunity. And that's where I make my decision. And the decision is an expression of my free will of my and I'm responsible and I have to own the outcome and I experience the consequences and I am accountable but the result that comes from Hashem. So I'm not entitled to make you wait because I'm late because I don't care about time. I'm not entitled to do that and then just tell you you are where you're meant to be. Sitting and waiting like a doof wad because I told you I'd be there at a certain time and I didn't care and I didn't show up and then I'm just going to come and smile and not apologize because I'm going to tell you you are where you're meant to be or I ran late getting ready. So a whole this is never me by the way but so our whole family ran late and missed the flight and when everyone's really angry and upset and says where were you? We had an agreed upon time we would leave and I say heyra we are where we're meant to be. Relax. We missed the flight. We're meant to be here. No, no. You have to apologize and you have to be sincere and you have to have remorse and you have to experience a healthy sense of regret and you have to learn and grow for the next time. For the next time however the outcome, the result there is an element of work. So I don't think it's a contradiction. I think they can both happen simultaneously. I think it's possible to say that when there's a decision to be made, the decision is entirely up to me. But when there's an outcome or result to that decision, this was orchestrated from from above. And even if that does oversimplify in some ways, that is how amuna impacts our life so positively. That's what gives us the tools and the strength to be able to navigate what we do in the way in the way that we do. A couple more emails and let's dive into the text. Maybe somebody just unplugged that machine they just plugged in or tell them to. So uh thank you Cara so that it can quiet. Hope vacation was nice and welld deserved. I was someone writes I was I accepted upon myself to learn after I started learning the benching are found which was great. Someone says, "I took upon myself to learn the shortened version of the everyday learn a little and therefore cover all of Jewish law." And they're up to the part about the laws of having a meal. Says that after making hamzi, I'll read it to you inside because he sent it to me. He writes, "After making hamzi, you should say Torah at the meal after you make I'm reading to you from this is the And then says that when you eat, every act of eating is dangerous. It could go down the wrong pipe. Could be what you're eating is spoiled or contaminated. Could be you won't have a positive reaction. We don't think of it this way and we shouldn't or would be debilitating. But every act of eating certainly in antiquity had an implicit danger to it. And so the merit we get by introducing detra a meal shouldn't just be frivolous. You shouldn't shoot the breeze. Shouldn't but introduce at least some Torah to the meal. What qualifies as Torah? Says the Mishna Mismore. After you make and you take a bite of bread, you can share on the whatever you want. Or you could read a cap of and which would be a good one to read every time you make camoti not only on shabas every time you make kamotzi during the week if you do then say chapter 23. So this individual who took on to learn encountered he had a psalm 23 sighting and what was the sighting that the sorry not the kit says that you should every time you break bread say chapter 23. So if you're a lifak he writes we think m is only for the says it's for all meals lest you think because we here at every we say three times we sing it three different tunes we sing it three different ways three times but it's not just also every meal last one go it's Wednesday and I'm missing listening to living with while you're on your well-deserved break. I'm happy to hear it was a well-deserved break. I got some hate mail that says, "How dare you take a break? We need our living with Amuna." Anyway, but it was it was with love. It was from somebody who I love. I had to share a Psalm 23 sighting at work. I'm a dentist teaching in a dental hygiene program. And one of my students, a devout Christian, walked into the clinic with her Stanley. Stanley is not her husband or boyfriend or the name of her dog. You know what a Stanley is? If you don't know where Stanley is, you're lucky that you haven't had to buy your child a super overpriced, expensive, very heavy coffee cup that they'll probably lose and leave somewhere within the first week of getting it. But anyway, a Stanley is a very hot and heavy coffee cup. Anyway, so this non-Jewish Christian walked into her dental clinic with her Stanley and it caught my eye and I had to take a picture. Her Stanley is the English translation of Psalm 23. and she told me she looks at it throughout the day to give her encouragement. Hope you enjoy your time off. Looking forward to learning together again soon. So, I don't know. It's a problem because then you can't bring your Stanley. Not that you'd bring it into the bathroom anyway, but where else could you not bring it if you have Psalm 23? Run through the dishwasher. You're running to Gimmel through the dishwasher. I don't know. Maybe you got to wash it by hand. But it's a beautiful thing. The coffee mug all day long, the dental hygiene program to be looking at Psalm 23. Okay. A lot more to cover always but uh digging with amuna and all of our emails. Okay, I want to start a new safer today. This safer someone gifted me my dear friend Mandy or the safer is called or where does that language come from? This language is famous language of the rebab said it about the rash ofus and he described it in that way the light and the life of our souls that was given to us and the sus called notorious topics in the area ofus and there's a whole section of amuna which is what I want to learn a piece apart together with who is the author Mendel vector vector who was heav fascinating and somewhat unusual person in the world born in Hungary in 1947 I think it's always important to know a little biography of the person whose Torah that you're learning he was born in Hungary in 1947 into a sigot satner family he moved to Canada as a child and later became deeply connected to the satidum satba in Williamsburg series, a founder of the Sat Yeshiva. And what makes his story remarkable is that he immigrated not just from Hungary to Canada to Williamsburg physically, but he immigrated spiritually from the world of Satmer to Kabad. And while he was still in Samur, he became intrigued by Kabadas and started learning with a major mashp. And um he ultimately became very connected to Kabad which is a little bit controversial in the world of satar let's just say let's just say might have been attacked for it uh in certain ways in certain ways referred to him as a nephesh alabad someone who had demonstrated sacrifice for his connection to to kabad. He ultimately moved to Kiryat Malahi and to Harabad where he became a prominent Mashia and Ko. So he still dressed in a sar dress and practiced his sin hagim but he became connected to and influential in Kabad which is very fascinating. Okay, a little background a little biography of him and with that let's start. So you have in front of you we'll try to put the source in the Amuna community. Maybe we won't put it in the amuna group. We'll put it in the amuna community as additional motivation for you to join the amuna the amuna community. This is my sheni the second mimer in the area of in his obligation to not just learn or study academically to not debate different models or modalities of amuna but to live to feel amuna with our senses to experience it every day in our lives. You see it? You got me? We're on page 19. When you are occupied with topic of we must know can't be theoretical or academic or conceptual shouldn't live in an ivory tower. Amuna has to be practical. Amuna has to be something that you experience and you express with your senses. It has to be a living living. Shouldn't be living with amuna. It should be amuna alive. As the says in that sadic the righteous man or woman they find life how amuna amuna is the foundation of life. Amuna gives us life. If a person is making their way through this world and they don't have amuna they're not grounded amuna. They don't do it with a sense there is someone and something bigger than me. There is meaning and there is purpose to this universe. If a person thinks my life is just coincidence and chance, I am just the subject of randomness. Then you're not even alive. Then you're dead while you're alive. To really be alive, to really live is to live and navigate this world. And therefore, to really get to this place of the mitzvah of a person has to study in depth these two things. Number one, if I want to study the mitzvah of chauffeur, we just heard the chauffeur and we blow the chauffeur. We're doing it to practice now. We're doing it as I wrote about last week's article because if real growth is the capacity, the predicated on the capacity to listen last week the weward rebellious child who's hopeless and irredeemable we reject. Why they are not capable of being influenced? If someone is incapable of being influenced, it is hopeless. I love to quote John Gottman, the great marriage authority, who says I think 83% whatever the number was, one of the biggest ways he can predict a marriage won't work is if a person is not open to influence. Both parties need to be open to saying, "Let me hear you. Maybe I'm wrong. Let me hear your perspective. I could change. I can grow. I can see things different than the way I do. and I'm open to influence. I'm open to being influenced. But a person is fixed or finished. If a person is this is what you see is what you get and I will be this way forever and nothing about me will ever change. My viewpoints, my practices, my behaviors, my everything. I'm not open to influence. They are hopeless. And that relationship sadly is hopeless. The prerequisite to a healthy relationship are both parties being open to influence. So I suggested that maybe the reason we hear the chauffeur every day of l is because chauffeur is all about listening and hearing. We start every day of l remembering that if this is the month of growth and change I have to work on my capacity to hear. I have to listen. I have to be open to listening and to influence. So the mitzvah of chauffeur you got to talk about the mitzvah of chauffeur. Can a chauffeur have a crack? Can a chauffeur have a hole? How do you define a tea avaram a trua? Every mitzvah has its g every mitzvah has its definition. It's sheer. It's measure. Soon we'll sit in the suk. How tall is a suk? How short can a how many walls? What does this have to look like? What's the definition of a suk? We'll shake the minimum. What's a every mitzvah? You light the shabas. How many candles? How long does it have to be lit? When do you light? How do you light? Every mitzvah has its. So how do you fulfill the mitzvah of amuna? If we assume amun is a mitzvah, which is an if. If you're wondering, what do you mean if? So we learned this one of the original amuna. go back almost 400 is amun a mitzvah so we assume simply yes I think we learned this from the shb what's the argument that amun is not a mitzvah >> it doesn't make sense to command belief in you if you have to command you to believe in me and you didn't believe in me until I commanded then do you really believe so some believe some suggest Amun is not a mitzvah. Amun is a prerequisite to all mitzvah. It's the precursor. It's the foundation. It's the assumption. You can't command to believe. If you didn't believe before I commanded, you don't believe. So belief is the preface to commandments. So it in itself is not a mitzvah. How do you count the ten commandments? Believe it or not, it's debate. Do you count the ten commandments? I am the Lord your God. Believe in God. Is that the first or no? That is the assumption the prerequisite and then the ten commandments only start after. So the first the first variable here the first curriculum is he says the first is how do you define amuna if amun is a mitzvah like the like lighting shabas candles like putting on film. How do you define the mitzvah? two if once I define it, how do I live it? How do I employ, deploy it? How do I practice it? How does it inform and inspire my life? How do I wear it on my sleeve? How does it define who I am? How does it express itself? So, when it comes to the definition, let's start with the definition of the mitzvah of says the mitzvah of amuna has to be so meaningful, practable, real that it's almost tangible. You see Hashem everywhere and you see a person living a life who sees Hashem everywhere. that that person in the way that they speak, in the way they dress, in the choices they make, in their behavior, in their conduct, in their life, in their temp, in their demeanor, in their demeanor. Remember we learned about from Bashm the idea of of um equinimity, the concept of equinimity. Remember we studied this too in the amunes at length of we talked about this concept this concept of it's all equal to me my highs are not too high my lows are not too low my emotions don't vacasillate in some extreme way because if I know that everything is orchestrated everything is from Hashem then it's all built in and so my demeanor is one of calm and one of serenity I'm not too excitable somebody who's excitable in either ction is because they're they're startled or they're shocked and they didn't anticipate and see and know that it's all from Hashem. You remember we studied this at length several months. So a person's demeanor itself can express their faith in Hashem. Are you calm? Are you serene? Are you anxious? Are you worried? Are you frazzled? Are you nervous? Are you anxious? Are you are you on edge? Zanish we also learned writes dig worry is an act of is heresy it's not a criticism of someone who struggles with anxiety clinically we have no criticism whatsoever it's not a person's choice not a person we blame and we only have love and support but it means a person who allows or chooses to be anxious who chooses to worry that worry has not God out of the equation. Because if we really surrendered and submitted to Hashem, if we really knew and lived and felt it's all going to be the way it's meant to be. I've done what's up to me. I've put in my work. I've taken my initiative. I've made my decisions. I've expressed my choices. I've done my part. And now what will the outcome or result be? I'm so worried. I'm so worried. I'm so worried. I have a daughter and who's due in Israel in a few days and I don't know if she's having a girl or boy and I don't know when she's going to give birth and I don't know if it is a boy when it will be and how close to rash and can I be there if and what will it mean and will there be a impossible and difficult choice to make about my obligation and commitment here and the ability to be there I don't know I don't know I won't lie and say I don't think about it but I try not to worry about it because there's nothing for me to do. Maybe there are things for her to do, but there's nothing for me to do. Like, she could eat a lot of spicy food and go on a lot of long walks and do a lot of things, but there's nothing for me to do. Nothing for me to do. So, if I worry, that won't change the gender of the baby or determine when the baby will be born or resolve what could be a potential conflict on the calendar for me. A wonderful one. I'm not complaining about it. Worry won't change anything. All it does, first of all, will destroy every day of happiness I could have now. It could, God forbid, drive a wedge between me and my daughter who could feel guilty because I'm so worried and don't want to be in that position. Hopefully, she's not listening to this, right? It won't do anything positive, only negative. But also, and maybe most of all, it also knocks Hashem out of the equation. Everything will be the way it's supposed to be. Hashem controls the calendar and everything else and he does it for a reason and it will be the way it's supposed to and meant to be. Is there anything more calming in the world? Every time you start to feel anxious and worried and what's going to be and who should I talk to and how can I plan and how should I prepare and you take that deep breath and you say, "No, you know what? I forgot he's in charge. He's in control." And the outcome not only is is going to it'll all work out in the end. the outcome is the ideal because it's the one that he's going to provide and he only provides the ideal and so wow what a relief wow imagine Hashem said to me buddy go to sleep relax I stay up all night because I got it I got it I worked the cal I got it all worked out and everything's going to be the way it's supposed to be and it's all going to be good and you just go do your thing you relax if Hashem wrote me that as an email would I not say oh what a relief that's unbelievable I'm so happy to Here I can exhale. I'm calm. It's all good. Wow. What a relief. He did do that. And he does do that every single day. It's called the mitzvah. It's called the mitzvah amuna. So our very demeanor, are we frazzled? Are we frustrated? Are we anxious? Are we angry? Are we envious? All of that demonstrates and reflects a lack of amuna. Because if we lived with amuna, by amuna I mean, we use those words interchangeably. But if we lived with the beton, the faith, the trust, the security, that he's in charge, he's in control. It's all up to him. Then I'd be relaxed. I'd be calm. The greatest people I know, men and women, the holiest, the highest, the most spiritual, are also the most calm. They have the world on their shoulders. Many of these tadikim, these gdollam, they're great people. They've got the world on their shoulders. their responsibility, the burden they bear, what they carry. You would think that they are about to collapse under it. You'd think that they look the most anxious and worry and they are the most calm, the most serene because the greatest the greater amuna, the more calm you have. If you want the antidote to wrinkles, it ain't Botox, it's amuna. And that was free. I didn't even charge you for that. And you can have it every day and you can still smile afterwards. It's the best part. in your demeanor. Sod from the second paragraph it has to be so demonstrable so sensory if you see and here he's quoting the you see like I see this table in front of me like I see people in front of me as clear as that is is the clarity I I have to have. That's the amuna. I have such clarity that if I don't have it, I wasn't meant to have it. I have such clarity that this outcome is from Hashem. I have such clarity that it is tangible. It's palpable. I have such clarity that you can see it in who I am and how I live. However, so you have to have the conviction. The first step is know what it is and carry that conviction. Carry that conviction. I know that my mother and father are my mother and father. I never did a paternity test. >> We haven't done a DNA test. I maybe I have some similarities. Maybe I look a little bit like them, but I have absolute conviction. Not 99%, not 100%, 110%. I know that my mother and father are my mother and father. That's the conviction. There's no one and nothing anyone can say that would make me doubt it. In the least, I know they are my parents. I know they are. One is the knowledge and the conviction and the confidence that I carry. The other is okay. Now that I know that my parents, what does that mean? What does that look like? When people come to shul and they see that my father is sitting there and I'm there, would a stranger who walked in notice any interaction between the two of us that they would conclude, "Oh, that must be his father." Or does he look like anyone else in the room? One is the conviction, the confidence that if you'd come up to me and say, "Do you believe that that man is your father?" Yes, 100%. Another is you see that I get a bra from him Friday night. Maybe I'm concerned and go over and make sure he's okay. say something I don't do to somebody else. You can see somebody a spectator an observer would notice. So the same is true with our father in heaven. One the first step of amuna he writes is the clarity and the conviction that there is a creator that he's my father that I exist only because of him that there is a relationship that's the academic the conceptual that's the clarity that's the conviction that I know he's my father. The second is good. Now, when I watch and observe the way that you interact, do you really believe he's your father? Does your life and your lifestyle reflect that you know and that you believe he's your father? Do you invoke him? Do you talk about him? Do you thank him? Do you turn to him? Do you rely on him? Do you care what he thinks? Do you want him to be happy? Do you give him pride like we wrote about this week? Is it is it living? Is it living? There are sadly people I know who know with conviction and clarity that their mother and father are their mother and father and they haven't spoken to them in weeks or months sadly and they're not interested in connecting with him. So you can know something with conviction and clarity but not be living it and demonstrating it. To be living it living it fully. Turn the page. Page 20. on top of the on top of the original boundary or definition in of the gave us the dictionary definition of the mitzvah the encyclopedic the legal definition of amun but in the courtyards of the has a he has a court in the court of of the in the courts of the not the legal courts but the the majestic the royal courts in the courts of the piled on the foundational legal definition of more definitions this what I was telling you the bashto came along and he simplified oversimplified until the bash it was complicated you could get together and you could debate Hashk how involved in Hashem? How does that work with free will? Is it in every detail? Is it only in the big picture, not the little ones? In what level of involvement? Does it depend on who you are and how much you believe in him? All kinds of complications. Came to Bashem and he said, I don't care who you are and I don't care how you live. I don't care what level you're on. Everything in your life and in the world, it's all from Hashem. Period. End of sentence. Plain and simple. Bash came along and he simplified. Every leaf, every chirp of every bird, certainly every plane and every flight, whether it took off on time, everything in and about your life, everything that happens to you and through you, it's all Hashem. All this comes from the approach that Hashem if this universe is the unity of Hashem's existence that Hashem permeates everything in it. Know today and place in your hearts that God that the Hashem who was is and will be is our God. Elohim that means that what comes from the name God elimatri is nature what looks like and we confuse the natural world around us and you'll say now that person got that illness that's because their cells were attacked by that disease oh that hurricane that's because the waves and the moon and the rotation on the earth on its axis and the har I just gave all created that hurricane Okay, that's not God. Tea. We think there's this thing called nature. Nature. The natural world. The natural order. There's nature. There's no nature. Nature is nature obscures God. There is no one and there's nothing but him. There is no nature. Nature is a disguise of Hashem. Nature is a costume he wears. But under that costume and under that disguise is also always of course Hashem. He created rules of nature and he set them in motion. But they're his rules and he can suspend them anytime he wants. So don't get confused by the fact that there's rules of nature that are set in motion. That there is something called nature that operates independent of Hashem. There is no nature that operates independent of Hashem. Nature operates by rules. They're his rules. And he can change them anytime he wants. He can interfere or suspend them whenever he wants because ain't ovado there is no one and there is nothing but hashem said the bashm and this is our philosophy of this year and this is nmashi which we're about to launch this is what it's all about simply now there's a term for it we call it amunabut amuna simple amuna The pendulum is swinging back and the world is returning. Whether it's through plemius and whatever words you want to use to describe it, but we overco complicated. We lived in this world where we made things because we thought we were smarter when we used big fancy words certainly those that originate in Latin. And we thought that the more academic and the more conceptual and the more we could show there's uh duality and ontological and axiological and the fancier the words, the more complicated we made it, the smarter that we felt, the more sophisticated we thought we were. And the conclusion of the result were our kids were like, "Yeah, I don't know what's going on here. If there's a god, no god. You're having all these debates. You're bringing all these different versions and approaches. And at the end of the day, I'm lost and I'm confused and I'm lonely and I'm anxious. And it's time to bring the world back to the simple amunup that many of our bubbies and our zadies had. The amunabut we've done this in other ways too. My friend Steven Berg wrote an article years ago where he talked about how our bubbies and our zadis our great bubbies they didn't understand a word of the tim they said but the tum was saturated with tears and our daughters he says in our case they they stay up all night studying for these tests for every perk till they have to memorize rashi and the mitsudas and the malbam and the ibanzra and 400 different commentaries on the puskin tiement they have to memorize and if they don't get the grade they won't get into the seminary get the seminary they want to get the sh they get the shikh they want and meanwhile their tahillum isn't opened and when they see tim all they feel is anxiousness and anxiety about the final they had to take on and stay up all night and he bemons that fact and of course the answer is somewhere in between I'm not suggesting we be illiterate or be ignorant one of our prized possessions is her babbies which is worn out through and through and I loved our bobby But I'm pretty sure that if you put a peric in front of her and said translate these words, she would not have been able to. But she said to him, she said it every day and she said it more authentically than maybe anyone I know for her to was a platform for a conversation with Hashem. And there was no which modality which model do we follow and it's like got her through the Holocaust despite what she lost. Got her gave her her zid and so grateful for her one son of the family. He built and Hashem was with her every day all day and her whole day was one ongoing conversation with him. Why? Because that's amuna. That's the simplified amuna. That's what we have to bring and swing the pendulum back. That's what we need. It's what our kids need. It's what we need to model for them. It's what our educators need to learn and live so they can teach to that next generation to that amuna. It's posh, not confusing and it's not complicated. And if you want to later on because it's fun, the intellectual gymnastics to explore the how complicated it is. Good. Have fun. But bring it back to the amun the amunabut of tea and fiddler on the roof who's flipping the hay and feeding the cows and his whole day is one ongoing conversation with Hashem if I were a rich man to bring it back to that amunup a simple amuna everything about that the brilliance in it was that simplicity it was an amunup was a simplicity of the definition of love how do you know if you're in love what is love it says for 25 years I've washed your swept your floor. If that's not love, what is? Right? Simple. That's If that's not love, what? We've made things complicated. Why don't we just go back to the simple version? Some things it's good that we've advanced and grown. I'm not calling for living like Amish people. I'm not I'm not talking about that. Although that wouldn't necessarily be so bad either, but I'm not I'm not calling for that. But in in let's go back to let's go back to let's go back to some simple definitions. Let's end with this. So when you understand this you can look at this is a good way to see the miracles that surrounded the legacy and the story the legends about the bashm all those stories apocryphal or True. We're all meant to communicate and educate that nothing is beyond Hashem. Put your trust, surrender, submit, believe, have faith. Know he's involved in your life. Nothing is beyond him. And the story is never over. And you never know. You don't know. Who's more impressive? the sophisticated complicated Latin speaking not sure or the who's in the barn feeding the cow in a conversation with Hashem who believes nothing's beyond him help me with this Hashem make that happen why' you do this I'm so thankful that you did that so through those stories stories have a tremendous power and through those stories it helps promote and support our belief and through those stories we come to know we come to know okay all this was an introduction I think we knew most of this already but we'll get into next time the mentor such a beautiful safer we'll get into now some of his uh suggestions and ideas [snorts] about how to be expressing this in a tangible way how to give it life how what now we understand translate those words means lives The amuna is alive. The amuna is not just conceptual abstract somewhere. The amuna is alive. The is alive. There's the person who knows with clarity and conviction that's their mother or their father. But that knowledge is dead. It's dormant because they don't show them any honor, any appreciation. They're not connected. And there's the person that even without knowing that that's their father. If you're in a room and you see the way they interact, oh that's a father. Because they're their that that that paternity it lives. It is alive and it is well. We're alive and well and backashem. Join the amuna community, not just the group. And until next time, stay happy, stay healthy, and stay holy. from us.