Harry Rothenberg - Miracle of Purim What’s a Nice Jewish Girl Doing in a Palace Like That? PIC 2025

okay um 3:30 in the afternoon Arab shabas everybody who's in this room that is a big deal because um you know I'm up against the buffet and up against pre-shop is naps and so you know as the airlines used to say I know you had many other options for your afternoon entertainment so thank you for choosing to fly with me I want to go through the Milla and first I want to summarize it so we'll do it like we say uh you know in in Yeshiva you could either learn bik or you can learn Bean beus is you run through it very quickly and then Bean is you sit down and you really go through it so beus just to summarize the PM story The Milla story it's very easy to summarize it's the story of most Jewish holidays not all they tried to kill us we won let's eat okay that's the summary that's the Mist now let's get to the Ian we all know what the key scene is in the mcgilla it's not just a key scene in the Milla it is a key scene in Jewish history aash veros signs the death warrant okay he has used his ring and he has said that the Jews are going to be killed and morai springs into action morai goes and puts on sackcloth and Ashes and he's out in the uh outside the palace and he sends a message to Esther who is the queen and he tells Esther you've got to go in you have to beg for the lives of the Jewish people now realize let's go backwards okay if we go backwards there was a situation where vashi is opposed and now the has no wife and the King's advisers tell him listen here's what you should do you should hold a beauty pageant and go gather the the beautiful women together and Esther who kazal tell us is not just the first cousin of morai she's also his wife so set the stage she's the wife of the godor and she's taken against her will to be in a beauty pageant with a manal you'll say how do you know he's a manal some say he didn't even know what he was doing hummon was the one behind the scenes number one others say he knew exactly what he was doing humon was just his Fall Guy was his bag man other say the following you know want to know what type of guy you're dealing with take a look at the first thing he does after he chooses her after the pageant give have this big beauty pageant right he takes a different woman in each night without going into detail they're not playing Monopoly you can guess what's going on each night okay after he chooses her as the queen you know what he does he holds a second beauty pageant that's the kind of guy you're that's the kind of guy you're dealing with so this manal takes her against her will the wife of the god Lor to the beauty pageant morai tells her don't tell anybody that you're Jewish many years ago there was a famous late night talk show host hopefully you won't know who I'm talking about but you might his name is David Letterman and David Letterman was interviewing someone hopefully you won't know who I'm talking about but you might he was interviewing Howard Stern the famous uh radio jockey and so something came up somebody used the Yiddish word or something and Letterman turns to stern he says Hey Howard you're Jewish right and Stern turns to Letterman and he says I will translate this for those who don't speak pig Latin he says hey Dave iay on the UJ Nicks the Jew I don't want to talk about being Jewish okay so it's exactly M told Esther M told Esther on the UJ Nicks the Jew don't tell anybody you're Jewish and now that the death warrant has been signed with the K signant ring he's telling her go in Now's the Time she sends a message back to him I haven't been called in it's been days it's been a month he hasn't called me in and anybody who goes in without permission if the king does not lower that scepter they get killed morai sends a message back to her and here's how he convinces her he says Esther if you stay silent at a time like this relief and deliverance will come from somewhere else the Jewish people will be saved we know that that's why on yum Kipper right we sing what do we crazy on Kipper it's it's a capital case like we're praying for our lives can you imagine I'm a plaintiff's attorney I represent injury victims but imagine a defense attorney right you know your honor and a case it could be a death case if the if the defendant gets convicted your honor my my uh client would like to sing for the jury like unless you're trying to get acquitted by reason of insanity what are you crazy who's singing in front of the jury we get up young Kipper and we're singing Tunes you know why because we know any individual we may not make it but the Jewish people will always make it so knows that if you don't do it they're going to be saved somewhere else okay he says but don't think you're going to escape any more than anybody else and you and your father's household will be lost meaning your legacy will be lost and here is how he commits he says and Esther this is why you're the queen right come on the King has signed a death warrant for the Jewish people his wife unbeknownst to him is Jewish Esther hello obviously that's why you have to go in okay and she agrees and says okay gather all the Jews fast for three days I'm going in and she goes in we know what happens the party invites hon and eventually who who what do you mean who said you're going to they're going to kill your nation he did it h and he's killed and everything V haa turns around and we all go drinking and eating and drinking and drinking and eating Etc okay I have two questions question number one there is a common misconception people think that the story went as follows morai said Esther you got to go in and you have to plead with the King Esther said back to him no morai said yes you got to go in that is not what happened here's what happened let's go back to the story morai said Esther you have to go in Esther never said no Esther said I haven't been called in in a month remember the timing the decree comes down P time the decree is going to take place in 11 months it goes out pesak time in 11 months open this other envelope that's going to say or that does say kill the Jews but they have 11 months so she's saying to him Mur why should I press the issue the gamar goes into great detail about how infatuated Aus was with her so she's saying we have 11 months he hasn't called me in a month in a week in two weeks in a month in three months if in 6 7 8 9 10 months he hasn't called me in then we could talk about me going in why force the issue in fact she says if he doesn't put the scepter down and somebody walks in they get killed he wasn't going to put the scepter down the me says that hasem had to send the Mal to grab his hand and put the scepter down so she would have been killed so why is M telling her running through that stop sign right if you remember back in the day when Pete Rose used to run the third base going like this Rose would put his head down bull Over The Catcher And score now it's Bryce Harper so why is he running through that stop sign what she says is reasonable just sit tight he says no you got to go in now that's question number one question number two is the following okay now some of you I hope noticed what I did earlier and if anybody ever does this you got to raise your hand okay you got to make a m you got to protest I don't care who it is I don't care if they have a beard I don't care if it's a big beard if anybody pulls a stunt like I just pulled you got to stop them if you notice what I was doing okay I told you what morai should have said to her if I was morai Speech writer and he had said to me listen Rothenberg you're a lawyer I know you do a lot of speeches I got one shot I got to convince es her to go in what should I tell her I'd read it and I'd say okay uh if you remain silent at a time like this relief and deliverance will come from somewhere else that's good uh don't think you'll Escape that's good you and your father's house your legacy will be lost that's good okay and then this is what he actually says I told you what he should have said what he should have said is in Esther that's why you're the queen you know what he really said somebody's got to know what he really said what' he say this is the reason you were born no it's not what he said that's what he should have said what did he say he says um DEA who knows maybe this is why you're the queen who knows morai if I'm the speech writer what is this what is this nambi pami wimpy vacillating who knows if I'm Esther I get the message and then Mor said in who knows maybe that's why you're the queen Oher I should risk my neck on a who knows what is going on that's the best he can do okay so those are two questions why go in now why run through the stop sign it would make sense to sit and wait a week a month two months and why who knows all right so let's go through them one at a time question number one why does he tell her to go in right now so I think it's the following reason let's go back to Nazi Germany 1930s the nberg laws are passed the Norberg laws did not say kill the Jews the Norberg laws did not say beat up the Jews the laws relegated the Jews to second class citizenship now there are rules about owning property and owning businesses and have to self-identify as a Jew not kill the Jews but what do you think would happen back in Nazi Germany the day after those laws are passed somebody comes in and they beat up a Jew right what is any defense attorney not even a good defense attorney okay any rookie defense attorney with a little bit of hair gel slicks his hair back walks into the courtroom and says your honor let's talk about what happened here okay I mean yes my client he did assault a Jew but I mean I mean there're the Norberg laws we know that they're second class citizens right that case is not going to be treated the same way so think about what happened in the mcgilla once that edict is signed yes it's in 11 months but you know right like the gar says the is people talk word's going to get out what is in that document that we're supposed to open up in 11 months kill the Jews so now the day after those documents go out don't open them for 11 months but you know what's in there what do you think's going to happen if the next day somebody goes and kills a Jew what's the defense attorney going to come in and say you're on yes my client did kill a Jew and of course we understand that he was not allowed to kill a Jew yet other words what's his real offense all he did was he jumped the gun you are allowed to kill Jews in 11 months okay he killed the Jew you know a month early 3 months early 9 months early 11 months early morai is telling Esther the second that was signed with the signate ring Jewish blood is forfeit you've got to go in and do something now and I will tell you that that has a lot of resonance now I want to explain what I mean since the day the hostages were taken since October 7th I'm sure all of us felt the same way we're doing we're doing we're doing we doing doing and I hope we're still doing because they're still yiding in tunnels and we're doing we're doing but there were a couple hostages who couldn't help but catch our fancy in a way that the others didn't and you know who I'm talking about right we're talking about the bbus boys okay and of course we hoped and we davened and we hoped and we daved and if we stopped to think about it we would maybe say is there really any chance a baby and a little kid is there is there really any chance but you know what there's always a chance and so we Ding and Ding and doing until we got the news and when we got the news I want to quote a PK for you because this is what I was thinking was the most appropriate PK the brothers the shifta yakov's sons they get the news about what happened to Dina and this is where we're told yov Sons came from the field and they heard what had happened and they were very upset they were very angry because an outrage was done in Israel meaning against the Jews they're the Jewish people an outrage was done to violate a Jewish woman and this is not done and that should have been our reaction when we got the news they weren't just killed they were strangled with people's bare hands a baby and a little boy and then the bodies were the face to make it look like an Israeli air strike and that is a and outrage against the Jewish people and that is something that is not done and should not be done kazal say that if there's an earthquake in in Japan tsunami in Indonesia a volcano erupts in in where in Hawaii that's a message to Jewish people you think when two Jewish baby boys baby and a child are strangled defenseless victims not even forget that they weren't a Mitzvah couldn't have done anything wrong obviously not even at the Gil not even at the we could start to teach them about Mitzvah that is not a message to the Jewish people that should horrify all of us if that's not a wakeup call I don't know what is a wakeup call and all of us should be angry and distressed and say it's a noala it's an outrage and this is not done and so what's our reaction so our reaction can be you know what I want to go in strap me up like Rambo give me every possible bomb and gun Etc I'm going to take them all out but that's not realistic okay unless somebody's in sahal and even now but the ceasefire is not realistic but you know what we can do we can do something right we do believe that every one of those toen groups every extra blot every extra mishna every extra dollar worth of sadaka makes a difference it makes a difference for those Nas up in shamay who I have no doubt are in the highest levels killed because they were yidden killed as defenseless babies I've had as an attorney cases of people who have who have suffocated I had one once of a child and so what we do in those cases in order to maximize the recoveries is we hire a forensic path ologist and they write a report and they go through what the person would have been feeling during the entire time it took to die without going into detail I can tell you it takes a long time and second by second the pain is beyond imagining when I had this once with a child I said I know this is going to be difficult report to read but I'm the professional I have to read it I think it was four pages long by the second page I was balling that's what they went through unimaginable unimaginable pain and we have to do something and that's what message to the extent you can do something we can't parachute in with machine guns not realistic we can't shoot artillery bombs we can't drop bunker Busters but what we can do is we can dve in more and with more intensity and learn more and give more tadaka and work on ourself our personal on hogas and take things on take on gal we can do something and hopefully what'll lead to is that there's something very interesting when mtion counters Hashem for the first time at the bush we're told that V Elohim Hashem spoke to Moshe from the middle of the bush from inside the bush and Rashi says you know what represents it means Hashem showing that IMO I am with you in pain he's inside the bush showing Moshe I heard the groans of the hidden in mriam I feel their pain well then why does it say Elohim it should be V Hashem Hashem Y is the god of Mercy Elohim is the god of judgment why is it the Judgment inside the bush if he feels our pain it seems inconsistent is Rashi wrong Rashi is not wrong maybe Rashi telling us maybe the Torah is telling us by using this phraseology that even the god of judgment said that's enough and I'm going in and so hopefully what happened to those boys and hopefully with our combined felus and hugas and kabalas Sh say that is it they cross the line and that is not done I'm not going to stand for it anymore so that was the answer to question question number one question number two was what in the world is morai doing when he saysa and who knows come on could there ever be a more obvious time again decree against the entire Jewish people the queen who's married to the king unbeknown to him as Jewish you think maybe that's why Hashem made her the queen so she could go speak to the king and so maybe according to Su of faram this is what's going on morai is in a sense planting a flag he's saying right here in the spot where it's the most obvious situation you could possibly imagine mioda you never know you think you know before for warn you'll see sometimes there'll be an article sometimes could even be by a RV I hate to you know to take on anybody in the uh in the Rabin it but some somebody will announce or tell your right article this is why Hashem did something don't believe it it might be you don't ever know that's Mor's message M DEA when it's as clear as day there can't be any of course that's what's going on you never know for sure I'll give you an example this back when I was at or many moons ago when I wore a younger man's clothes so so a couple guys came back and the story went around the uh the base the base meish um two guys who were early on in their or careers they went to the bus stop they were going to bahuda okay now on Ben Yehuda they were going let's be to get schwarma of course you can get schwarma a lot closer than Ben Yuda you could get schwarma at Bas you get schwarma and mearm you get schwarma and Gulu on the way to Ben Yuda okay but you know if you get schwarma Ben Yehuda there are you know there are let's say life forms wearing skirts okay or less okay so they're going to Ben Yuda all right they go to the bus stop and they're waiting for the bus the bus comes every five minutes every five minutes A Clockwork the bus comes the beuda bus comes you get on okay 5 minutes 10 minutes 15 minutes 20 minutes after 20 minutes one of them turns to the other they're early on in their Jewish journey and says you know what this is a sign from God that we're supposed to go to the Bas MERS and learn instead and the other guy's like you're right they go back to the base MERS to learn yes okay the next morning they go over to one of the and they say want to tell you the story what happened last night we waiting for the bus it comes every 5 minutes it was 20 minutes and we realize it's a sign from God that we're supposed to go back to the basement Med instead of going to Ben Yehuda Rob Godly looks at them in his inimitable style he says to them how do you know that God didn't want you to wait 21 minutes for a bus and they say what do you mean it it was obvious and he says what you did was right but you can't ever be certain that you know why God did anything so maybe that's what Mor is doing now in the most obvious situation practically ever he's saying you never know okay possibility number two he knows he absolutely knows okay I'm going to prove to you that he knows you ready okay this was not the first time that a woman saved the Jewish people there was a young girl many many years earlier six-year-old girl father comes home one day and she says tati you're worse than parro he says shefa Miriam what are you talking about and six-year-old Miriam says to amam you're worse than parro he says what are you talking about about she says I'll explain par made a decree against the Jewish baby boys when you separated from mom as a result of the decree am and had separated that was in effect making a decree against Jewish baby boys and girls and the rest of K followed you so you're worse than parro parro's decree was only against Jewish baby boys your decree is against boys and girls and by the way I had a navua you're going to get back together with Mom and baby's going to be born he's going to be our savior kisses her gets back together with Y in a public wedding aon's on the drums and the other Yin why public cuz he wanted the other Yin the SE that the leader of class was getting back together with his wife so they would as well so Miriam was responsible not just for the birth of mosha but for the birth of many other Jewish baby boys and girls and they get back together great three months later because mosha was born prematurely the Egyptians are very good at keeping track of due dates and they're there knocking on the door where's the kiddo well the kiddo is actually in a little basket in the Nile because they knew they're going to come from him and they're going to come to kill him so his mother put him in a basket in the Nile the gamorra goes into more detail that the Torah does not include and the g goes into the following detail his mother is crying she says I built a ho on top of your Tava because I'm not going to see your because that's it she knows he's dead let's go through right we're in Las Vegas we're taking bets Baby Moses in the basket what do you want to bet on these are your two betting options you ready number one crocodile who's got crocodile betting option number two Dr in okay there's no number three Vegas wouldn't even give you odds I'd like to bet on uh Pharaoh's daughter finding him extending her hand uh saving him and agreeing to adopt him giving him to his uh birth mother to nurse and then bring him back to the Palace I'd like that one they be like what are you talking about that's completely ridiculous okay that's that's nuts okay that would be like you know saying in in the Super Bowl you know a prop bet that I'm guessing the first touchdown would be 140 yards The Field's 100 yards you can't have it right so she knows it's over it's Nile crocodile drowning she's crying her father is crying the gorah says her father brings her over Miriam Taps her on her head and says what happened to your NOA because it's over and the Nar the boy's crying there are those who say that's Aon aon's also crying everybody's crying in the family because it is over except one person's not crying PK tells us his sister Miriam stationed herself from a distance May to see what would happen to him his sister knows 100% I had that NAA he is going to be saved he's not going to drown it's that going to be a crocodile I want to see how is Hashem going to do this so she stands on the side of the Nile how is this going to happen how is Hashem going to save that little baby in the B is that parro's daughter reaching out her hand picking him up taking him out of the basket wait calling to me she wants a Jewish mother to nurse him I can arrange that wow Hashem that was so neat how you did that so so glad I stood myself next to Nile to watch it happen okay she knew when Mor and Esther wrote the Milla there are many many many examples of this they used the technique that later literary critics would call borrowing they borrowed words and phrases from the Torah from Tanakh and so if you look you'll see that when Esther the wife of the godor is taken to the beauty pageant against her will we're told the following murai would walk past the herum every day as schom Esther to know the piece of Esther in other words how she was doing again Miriam's watching to see what would happen to him m is watching it's the same words Mor is telling us he's screaming at us I knew I absolutely knew there was no question I knew even before she was chosen she's taken for The Pageant this is Hashem I'm just going to go past the palace every day so I can connect the dots and see what in the world is going on but he knew give you another example this morai when he's writing the miguela tells us that aish got the advice to hold a beauty pageant and here's the advice you ready the king should appoint officers and all of the provinces of his kingdom as and they should gather all the beautiful women toas Mara all the all the beautiful all the eligible beautiful women okay all right that phrase the B tells us appears one other time in tanak anybody know where here's where Yosef is brought up from the dungeon and yoseph gives parro his advice after interpreting the dreams he says parro you know what you should do because there are going to be seven years of plenty and then seven years of famine the king should appoint officers alats over the land the yitsu was called and gather all the grain so Mor is telling us you see this connection they'll say to me come on how do you know that it's just because the words are together I want to show you how I know this let's go back to the scene in the Milla the advice that aish gets is go and appoint officers and have them gather all the beautiful women how exactly do you gather beautiful women okay I'm just curious how you gather are they all in the same place if they are all in the same place I don't want to think about what type of place that is but I can assure you this Esther was not in that place you would say go and select the beautiful women find the beautiful women look for the beautiful women choose the beautiful women you wouldn't say gather it's a ridiculous word unless you want to specifically use that word because you want to call up recall yosef's advice why because yosef's advice leads to one of the Great Moments in Jewish history Yosef as a result of the advice par says this is unbelievable could we ever find anybody who has the spirit of God that's it take him out of the dungeon spiff him up he's going to be the mission he's going to be the Prime Minister number two in command yose's brought up and now he's running the whole land so now when the yiden come down to MIT they've got Goan he takes care of us incredible news wonderful for the Jewish people so Mor goes out of his way Force feeds that verb shoot gather you gather wheat that makes sense you don't gather beautiful women but he wants to force feed that phraseology to tell us that he knew the same way that when Yos gave the advice and it led him being taken to the dungeon it's the same phraseology when Esther is put into the dungeon put into the palace okay by the way just a little reminder on porm when we finish up we read the Milla and we're drinking and drinking and eating and eating and drinking and drinking and giving each other gifts Etc okay she never gets out Esther's the Forgotten hostage she has to spend the rest of her life in that palace with that animal she never ever gets out maybe spill one dip like on on the Seder like dip one remember Esther that hostage okay but m is telling us that this horrific looking news AAS married to the godor taken to this beauty pageant it's Hashem I don't know how I'm going to walk past the palace every day so I'm going to find out but it's absolutely from Hashem so if he's so sure so sure that he went out of his way in the Milla to tell us recalling Miriam's story recalling yosef's advice then why in the world does he do the U-turn and when it comes to the key moment say and who knows because maybe he wants to to teach her and teach us the following Point Esther you are going to go in to see the king and as you said if he doesn't put that separator down you're going to be killed me OA you cannot go in on my belief system you cannot risk your life because I think it's the right thing Mi DEA I'm putting it out to you you have to make your own decision you cannot go you know what I really don't know I disagree I don't think I should go in now I don't know if I should go into maybe we should just sit back and but he seems to be convinced or or he is convinced so I guess I'll go in don't do that you have to believe it explains another scene by the way sar's outside the tent over here is the Malak in the guise of an Arab telling Abraham next year I'll be back and you will have a son and SAR laughs at herself she says I'm G to have a son I'm old my husband's old and has appears abam and says abam why did SAR laugh is there anything I can't do if I'm Aram at this point I'm saying uh big guy like your Excellency Majesty King of the Universe I of course there's nothing you can do right so what's going on Hashem is suggesting to Abraham go talk to SAR wouldn't it have been a funnier cuter scene if Hashem had appeared to AB and said Abraham just wait till she starts showing it's going to be a riot it's going to be a crack up just wait she was laughing just wait but that's not what he does he says AB why did Sarah laugh you know why because Hashem doesn't do miracles for people that don't believe in them he's got AB you got to go talk to her I got to do this miracle so you got to go and make sure that she believes and so morai is telling Esther if you don't believe it don't go in I not going to send the to go put the sep down if you don't believe it you've got to believe it and why is that a lesson for us it's a lesson for us as parents and as M you can't force it you cannot force it if you try to force it you try to force that kid you grab him by the arm and drag him to SCH or toer or to wherever force him to do something force him to put on the filing force him to wear the tis force him force her force him you'll do two things in all likelihood number one you will damage your relationship with that child or that student and number two just as bad maybe worse you will damage that child's relationship with Hashem now I had well-meaning ream when I was younger but I will tell you I still remember this to this day is when they come over and say hey herel how you doing and they do the little the neck rub guys may remember what the neck rub was in Day School that was the check of you're wearing SAS okay I can't tell you how that drove me crazy it drove me nuts again it was a vular and it was affectionate but I knew what it was it was are they here I don't know was that was he wearing the mesh ones that are really light maybe give them like a little more of okay you can't force it I can't tell you how important this is so I told this over recently just got back from AR raw and as I'm telling it over I realized that I'm telling it over in Yeshiva where my oldest son who's now Ro K spends his time in the morning learning with the guys Yesa with you know very uh active interesting you know Kevan great bunch of guys okay and he's sitting there and I look at him and I say you know I realize that there's one person in this room who is probably saying to himself um why didn't my father get that memo when I was younger so I just want to publicly apologize to my son and explain that I was 24 when he was born he did you did not come with an instruction manual and no one came to May Yesa to give this talk and I apologized and I did because I used to try to force and it doesn't work you can't do it and if you are forced if you're one of those people like Rak of har was calls who was quote boys who are run over by Yeshiva or if you have a child who was run over by Yeshiva I can't stress this enough how important it is that you have to explain to the extent you can that there's only one thing we have Choice over in life okay I always I had my father is here so my my our our dear relative aunt shaneel may she rest in peace used to always tell me when I was I don't know 8 9 10 11 12 whenever I started like I started you know growing okay and she said you're going to be 6 feet tall and I walked around like you know she's older so she must know I'm going to be six feet tall and that's going to be very helpful in the basketball court and then of course I ended up at 5'9 like most Jewish guys so I don't hold anything against her it was you know maybe without her bro high I would have been 5' seven I don't know maybe I got a couple extra inches but I always wanted to be six feet tall okay we can want to be taller we can want to be Slimmer we could want to be richer we could want to be smarter you do you do what you can do I mean there's cosmetic surgery in the like and there's you know lying cheating stealing working hard but at the end of the day what's going to happen is going to happen there's one thing you have complete violence over there's one thing you have complete Choice over complete Choice your relationship with Hashem everybody has access okay everybody we see that from mosha a human being who spoke to he literally spoke to Hashem face to face okay probably we won't get to that level but there are levels and levels and levels and levels the same way that twice in Torah at least twice when hasem says Abraham Abraham at the he's telling him you reach the up in heaven there's the ideal version of us okay and down here there's the version you know that we're at okay and our goal is to try to make them match so hasem says ab ab he's telling them you matched the ideal you up in shamay when he says mosha mosha the you match that ideal okay and unfortunately for most of us I'm speaking to myself as well I have a bet that if you met you were whatever you're on the train you're on a plane you're on a subway somewhere and you sat next to Hashem send down the ideal you okay I bet you wouldn't recognize the person okay I'd be sitting next to some guy with a big beard like just you know like like just on you know like you would and then by the way I'm you what do you mean you're Hashem sent me down imagine if you could meet this person Hashem sent me down so that you could see what you're capable of I guarantee you'd have trouble sleeping that night like you wouldn't even you wouldn't even believe that you're capable of that but that's what we're capable of and so that's what you have to explain to that child that it's the only thing that you have Fus over it's the only thing you have control over is your relationship with Hashem and you're taking it and you're giving it away but you're not just giving it away you're giving it away to the person that turns you off you're taking your most precious possession you should guard literally with your life and saying that Rabbi who kicked me out that Rabbi who did the the thing on that that Rabbi used to force me to go to Shore that parent that used to force me you know here it is that's why I'm not no don't get give that away it's your most prized possession that you have to try to explain is not to leave and you have to believe in people so I'll tell you two stories um one of my uh one of my um Sons had an interesting uh Journey along the way and uh you know used to speak to ream about it just love them don't force love them don't force Don't Force love them and so we loved them and we didn't force and we loved them and we loved them but it was a journey and I had one friend and that friend used to always say to me don't worry he's going to be fine and I'd say are you a Novi are you a seer are you the son of a prophet he's said listen I know your son this is like when he was 14 15 16 I'm telling you he's going to be fine I know him I've spoken to him before you know smoo him he's going to be fine nobody else said that ream gave advice and other people gave advice and and and people who you know who work in in fields anybody we you know would speak about would give advice okay and people would give bras but nobody ever said don't worry if I car like you know doin okay one friend would say don't worry I know your son he's going to be fine okay so when my son eventually you know was more than fine and is more than fine and is and is not just you know on track in his from kite but he on fire in his from kite Flames I can sometimes see coming out of his fingers okay that's how infuego he is with his from kite so when he got engaged I told this over and I said Beres I said you know we couldn't find him a non-stop flight to Israel he had stop so stop over along the way in other words at different places where he where he learned before he eventually got to the mirror and then you know Etc okay I said but there was one guy who always believed in him there was one friend who used to always say to me don't worry he's going to be fine and I said you that's a message you know what the message is if you believe in someone then someday he may marry your daughter cuz that was my mut the one guy he'll be fine he still won't admit when he decid like that's going to be the guy for my daughter okay but that's believing in someone that's the power of believing in someone and somebody who may have been forced and somebody maybe was turned off but sees that somebody believed in them last story so I know a um a fellow when he was 18 uh took off a year from college went to Israel to study in Yeshiva and um kind of didn't get along so well with the rashash Shiva they'd have these battles okay he'd come late for daving or he'd miss daving and the dorm councelor would say to him oh the the the rash wants to see you I need to go into russa's office the rash I'm sure meant well and I'm sure he was way too sarcastic and and the r she would say you know what what's going on you know you you know you miss daving you relate to daving and he would say you know respectfully I'm just curious why is that between me and you isn't it supposed to be just between me and God okay Andi would say listen we have rules here I I I I get it but I didn't burn the building down like I came late to ding I miss staving isn't that between me and God why is it between me and you but it was very much between him and the rashash Shiva and finally after a whole lot of this back and forth and forth and back and back and forth the rashash Shiva forcibly relocated him gave him his uh you know his his exit the the pink slip okay goodbye all right you have missed daving for the last time you're out of here okay so now this kid 18 years old goes back to his dorm room and he is going to do what police officers do when police officers leave the force and they say can I keep the gun no you can't keep the gun okay how about the badge can I keep the badge no you can't keep the badge we you go impersonate a police officer it's all we need right you have to turn in it's a phrase you turn in your gun and your badge okay when you're no longer in the police force so that's that's what this kid was going to do his plan was he was going to turn in his gun here you go go grab the Fillin turn in his badge okay take off the tizas if he was wearing them that's it he's turning his gun in his badge he's packing his bags ready to leave the Yeshiva and one of the ream one of the younger ream comes into his knocks on his dorm room who is it it's Rabbi so and so come in he listen I heard what happened with you and the rashash Shiva and I heard that uh you know that you're leaving kid says I'm not leaving I was kicked out he says okay I was trying to be diplomatic he says I just want you to know that whatever happened between you and the rashash Shiva I believe in you you have to know this I believe in you now the kid did not turn around and say okay in that case you know what time is minion tomorrow morning right but the kid did not turn in his gun and his badge and it took a while it took time but the his kid eventually you know came back on the path came back on the path and now fast forward fast forward something like 40 years something like that almost 40 years and this kid is back in Israel and walks into that old Yeshiva for the first time in nearly 40 years he has not been back since the day he has been kicked out okay and he gets up and he delivers a talk to the students in Yeshiva and he tells them this story okay about this kid and when he finishes the story he say say and you know what they think he's telling a story about some other kid he says and you know what I haven't been back in this Yesa since the day I was thrown out the guy telling the story is the kid who was thrown out who now goes back almost 40 years later and tells the story over and if you haven't figured it out yet I was that kid who was thrown out who went back last year for the first time in nearly 40 years and if not for that Rabbi who who came to my room that night and said I believe in you who knows where I would have been at this stage in my life and so let's review if you have the opportunity to do something you do it now you don't wait we have to have be and of course as Mor says if you don't do it hhm will save us some other way but you have the chance you have the ability to be the partner with Hashem and bringing this about and look at your situation who knows I think so but you have to decide that and maybe I'm wrong you you have to think it through and if you decide like me that you decide that then you go in and who knows we can't force we have to make sure not to damage others relationship with Hashem and with ourselves especially if it's our loved ones or for it's our students and if we've been forced we have to let that go and I'll tell you that I told this over not long ago and somebody came up to me afterwards and said I have a question and I said yeah and he said do you still Harbor resentment against that Rabbi I don't know if I've ever been more put on the spot by a question in my life and I thought about it and I said no and I said if you had asked me this at various times earlier in my life I suspect the answer would have been different but at this point it is a resounding no and I explain to him why because every night before we go to sleep we pray to Hashem when we say k Alita which I hope everyone is saying because it's one of the most powerful Tas that exist we ask Hashem please do not punish anyone anyone because of me no we're announcing to Hashem somebody may have wronged me somebody may have done something terrible to me and Hashem you may say I saw that and I'm going after that person please do not no matter what happened I give up we say and feel is I forgive everybody who did anything who embarrassed me who horned me who stole from me I forgive them all and hasem please don't do anything to harm that person and so that r that rashash Shiva who's up in sham who I have no doubt meant well we clashed but he meant well that I have a Capa against him it would be a problem for his n you'll say to me that's ridiculous how can it be a problem if after he's gone yit goes back to bring hogar back right AB sends a messenger to find the wife for Yak at the same time Y is finding a wife for abam he goes back and brings haer back you know why what did the mafam say because he was worried that harer was holding a caped against his mother because she had thrown her out thrown her out Hashem himself told Abraham listen to your wife so what s did had the hex Temple the Ra moer was who's the who's the mash here oh it's a Hashem is that a good enough heure for you Hashem was the one who said listen and yet y still worried his mother's already passed away and what she did was clearly right and he's still worried about the Capa so don't hold any grudges thank you for listening and enjoy the sh