Hagada: Curious Enough To Ask

Means make yourself holy. And orchat means make yourself pure. I be mikadesh yourself and be metayer yourself. Orchat means to wash yourself. So the question is on that, which comes first, being pure or being holy? Well, the the chiyara, the first thing, what is pure? Pure means not impure. Right? >> [clears throat] >> Naki. Tahar, right? So, what's the first thing, to be holy or to be not impure? >> Not impure. >> The chiyara, not impure, that's first. So, it should be orchat and then kadesh. First, you purify yourself and then you uh try to achieve kedusha. No? >> It is. >> What? >> It is kadesh orchat. >> No, it should be orchat kadesh. Right? First, achieve purity, then achieve kedusha. That's the way it should be. Right? You know, let's first get to the ground level. Don't be down there. Get to the ground level and then go higher. >> [clears throat] >> We we purified ourselves first and then >> Right. And then we exactly. Exactly. The metayer is like like even it even says about yom tov, chiyava de metayer atzmo beregel. Right? There is an inyan, that's why a lot of people go to the mikvah before yom tov. There is an inyan of purifying yourself so that you could embrace the holiness of the yom tov, right? That's a good Jack, that's a good good connection. So, there's just something interesting that you do find a very similar thing in the seder of the mishnayos, right? What is the seder of the mishnayos? There were six sedarim of mishnayos. So, there's it's it's rashei teivos, it's important to know um that the the seder of mishnayos of the shisha sedarim of mishnayos is rashei teivos, zman noket. Zman noket. Zeraim, moed, nashim, nezikin, Kodshim, Taharos. Which comes first? Kedusha or Tahara? Kedusha comes first. First Kodshim and then Taharos. Interesting. >> [cough] [clears throat] >> The fascinating thing my Yeshiva once shared with us that although it's true that we look at Kedusha as a higher level than Tahara, but that's only the purity of remaining pure. The effort of remaining pure is the first step and then the effort of achieving Kedusha. That's that's the next step, okay? >> [cough] >> There's a apparently a Rambam that says that when a person is impure and they work on themselves to cleanse themselves from it, even though Jack, as you're saying, yes, the idea is to do that so that you could then embrace Kedusha, but in terms of what's considered a greater accomplishment, there is a certain element of like Bemakom Shebaalei Teshuva Omdin that a person who was impure and purified themselves is even higher than someone who's achieving Kedusha. It's one of the most profound things that a person could do is that if a person is left with an with you know, with with a mistake, with a Michsha, with an Aveira, with a Tumah, to be Metahar, that puts them on a on a higher level. Anyway, that's Kodesh or Chol, the two levels. But anyway, those those are just Remazim and that's just an example of the many Remazim that exist in the Simanei HaSeder. Another one of the >> People are thoughts attached to the Karbas? >> I mean, they're because they're >> Yeah, but again, this is all just a Mesader. The Remazim continue with Karbas as well. Just giving you an example. Um >> [snorts] >> There's a Minhag to put beautiful Keilim on the seder table. It's a minhag that the seder table should look beautiful. It doesn't say anywhere in Shulchan Aruch that you have to post your seder table on Instagram. It does not say that. Um it just says to have a beautiful seder table. But um it's interesting that it's brought in Shulchan Aruch that you may put on the table beautiful kaylim that you're holding as collateral for non-Jews who borrowed money from you. Now that sounds like a highly specific thing. And the reason for that is because there were generations in our history where the non-Jews, for religious reasons, were not allowed to lend money. Lending money was not per- permitted in their religion. In our religion, [cough and clears throat] lending money is mutar. And we're even allowed to take interest from a non-Jew. Right? So Jews became money lenders. And there's a lot of very bad, you know, um anti-Semitism that came from that because Jews were money lenders. And but part of being a money lender is that you take a mashkin. So that means if you ask me for a $10,000 loan, I ask you for that beautiful silver, uh you know, you know, bowl that you put on your table as to hold as collateral. I'll give you back the bowl and you give me back the money. And that's a normal way that you know, it's a it's a mashkin. The mashkin is already discussed in Chumash. So Yidden used to have mashkinois. They used to have collateral of diff- of of various loans. They had a, you know, in their in their breakfront, they had a lot of gorgeous gorgeous stuff that was owned by And they they couldn't use it, obviously, and it was treif. But they would put it to adorn the Pesach seder. And it always intrigued me like that's not real. Like what is that? You have to like for business you're holding on to some Caleb so you put it on your table like Like you like what what how does that fit into the whole night of Pesach in Mitzrayim? But then it occurred to me that it's a very perfect for the night of Pesach in Mitzrayim. It's a remez to something. Because it says that at the end when Israel were leaving Mitzrayim Moshe Rabbeinu said Israel and basically silver that they should borrow from the Mitzrayim gold and silver Caleb. And they should and and and in the end Israel took it and they kept it. They kept those Caleb. The borrow is facetious a little bit. They were owed plenty that Israel when they left and they were they had a they had a they had a a from Moshe Rabbeinu to fulfill a promise that was made to who? What? To To Avraham Avinu. The nation of God. And it could be that when we put a guy's beautiful Caleb on our seder table, we're remembering that we took actually the Caleb of the nations of the Mitzrayim around us with us in fulfillment of the Avraham Avinu that will leave that actually does fit beautifully into the into the concept of into the into the idea of of using those Caleb. But the truth is that in general we make a very majestic royal seder. And that's an outward expression of a certain sense of royalty that we feel. Not because it's very important to know this. Um Pesach is a is a Yom Kippur freedom. And there's a lot of confusion about that in the world because free >> [clears throat] >> I mean, think about this. If free means the ability to do whatever you want, we are far from free. Right? We have plenty, you know, from the moment you open your eyes in the morning until the moment you close your eyes at night, there is a Shulchan Aruch that's telling you what to do. So, what does it mean that we use Pesach to celebrate our freedom, like they say? What does that mean? We're not free. We're Ki Avadim Hashem says, you are my servants. I took you out of Mitzrayim to make you my servants. Velakachti the fourth of the of the Arba Lashonot Shel Geulah is Velakachti Etzchem Li Am. So, it's very, very important thing. Are we free? You celebrate your freedom on Pesach? We're free? I don't think I'm free. On Shabbos, I can't do anything. I can't eat what I want. I can't do what I want. I'm not free. I can't wear what I want. We just learned the story of the gift of climate sentences. Right? I'm not free. So, it's very, very This is a very important nekudah. Maybe it's a little bit more of a mussar nekudah, but very important when we're setting up that beautiful, royal Seder table, because we're celebrating that we're we've we've we've we've been zocheh to freedom. What's the freedom, exactly? So, I want to explain that This is a very, very, very important thing. Um Somebody was asking me on the Shabbos, Ari Gertz, actually, I think it was, was asking me on the Shabbos, um um you know, when when we were in the Poconos, he was asking me about dealing with I forgot exactly I forgot exactly where where how the question came up, but we were talking about like dealing with like um how to um like control yourself better in terms of sleeping enough and eating properly and doing these things. Like how do you not just get dragged along with your impulses and actually have a certain sense of control? So I was very inspired from something I had learned in in a from Reb Volbe. And I told him this very interesting thing that when a person, let's say um let's say it's not healthy for me to drink Coke, okay? Which is probably not healthy for me to drink Coke. Okay? So let's say I'm sitting there by the shabbos table and there's a freezing cold freshly opened bottle of Coke and um and I'm feeling like I I really could use some of that. I need that. You know that feeling? I need that. But then I tell myself, "No, it's not good for me." Which is the part that I want and which is the part that I'm like forcing? So on a lower level we look at it, I want the Coke but I'm using my seichel to force myself not to. That's how we look at it. If I was free, I would drink the Coke, but since I'm putting a imposing a certain amount of limitations on myself, I'm not doing that. That's how we look at it. Let me expand this mashal to a much wilder mashal, okay? The reason that we do that is not because when someone's having an argument sometimes you try to pull the other guy's argument to the point of ridiculous. That's not why I'm doing it. I'm doing it because sometimes by expanding the argument we get to see it clearly. Okay? Imagine you had a guy that had two sons. He they wanted to do a chinuch experiment. One of his sons he's going to raise and he's going to teach him the right way to act. He's going to teach him how to dress. He's going to teach him how to take a haircut when he needs a haircut and to cut his nails when his nails get disgusting. He's going to teach him how to blow his nose and how to to to to to excuse himself if he burps in public and how to um make sure that he doesn't smell bad, personal hygiene. He's going to like most of us do when we raise our children. Part of raising our children is teaching them how to survive in society, in polite company. How to measure what's the right dress code for where I'm going, I'm going to a vart, I'm going to a wedding, I'm going to a barbecue. What's What's the right It's part of Part of being uh sensitive to society is being able to connect with society in that way. And he'll educate him so he can make a living. He'll be able to make a living and provide for his family. But his other son, he decides he really really wants his son to be able to be free. He doesn't want to tell his son what to do. He's going to allow his son to just do whatever he wants. So, from the time his son is young, he doesn't want to wear He doesn't want to wear clothing, he doesn't have to. He doesn't He wants to wear this kind of clothing or that kind of clothing, whatever he wants is fine. He doesn't want to take a haircut or take a bath when he's a kid or something, that's fine. He starts using bad language in the house, we don't tell him what to do. He doesn't want to go to school. I'm not going to impose it on my kid. I want my kid let him find his own destiny. He doesn't have to go to school. Okay? Fast forward 30 years. Who's free? Kid number one or kid number two? Kid number one is free. Kid number two is a prisoner of his own impulses and and and and and and and like he could do whatever he wants, but that's not free. Free is the ability to actualize who I am. To be able to bring myself out, to be able to to to access myself to the fullest degree, to the extent that I could express all the parts of me, to that exte- extent I'm free. Getting back to my soda mashal, no, when I drink the soda, I'm a prisoner to a desire. But when my mind chooses not to drink it, I'm free because I am the one in charge and not my stomach. But you see you see what I mean? What? When I drink the soda, that's not freedom, that's servitude. Because I have a desire to eat and I'm being forced to that desire to eat. And now I'm saying I have an independent thought process. I don't want to drink that soda. I don't like what it does to me. So I'm making an independent decision that this is what I'm going to do. >> Where do we stop with like these impulses? If something that we view as something that should be restrained and other ones shouldn't. I know like in in Christianity a priest they view it as like as like you shouldn't have any >> I'm not talking about religion right now yet. I'm not talking religion. I'm just >> freedom. >> What? >> words, you could argue that somebody who gets married is not freedom because he's giving into an >> Oh, so let me explain to you something very important, okay? Because the impulses, pleasures, desires, wants could be very positive things. But who's the gatekeeper of them? I should have the freedom to employ it when I want. And to use it in the manner that of my choosing. I shouldn't be a prisoner of it. I should have the ability, let's say marriage, right? So someone has a sexual urge and he has no control over it, he's a prisoner. But if someone has control over it, he may make a decision to indulge in that because that's positive, that's good for his relationship, it's good for him, it makes him feel good, it's enjoyable. The the point of a prisoner, I'm not saying someone who's free is anyone who enjoys themselves. That would be a gross misunderstanding of what I'm saying. I'm saying someone who's free is someone who gets to choose when he enjoys himself. You know, drinking soda might be a very nice thing to do, but I shouldn't be I shouldn't afterwards, I don't know how many people in this room have this, but I have it sometimes that I will eat something or drink something and afterwards I'll be like, "What was I thinking? That was bad for me. I regret that." That means that when I did it, it wasn't a free choice. I was a slave to my stomach. But what would happen if I used to tell myself, you know, I've been really eating you very healthy. I think it's fine. It's makes sense. It'll be wonderful for me to enjoy a delicious cheese Danish right now. And I'm going to enjoy it. I'm not going to regret it afterwards. It fits into my life. It's enjoyable. I want to enjoy myself. Wanting to enjoy myself is not a lack of freedom. Enjoying myself is not a lack of freedom. It's just not being the conductor of my own choir. Not being the conductor of my own pleasures. That's the part that I lose my freedom. That's what we talk about a person by himself. Okay? When it comes That's a good thing to know. Nothing to do specifically with Torah. This is just a good thing to know about humanity. About what what freedom is and what servitude is. Okay? When it comes to Torah, there a certain emunah comes along with it. When it comes with Torah, part of what we believe I'll give you a mashal to it. I'm not saying this is the reason. I'm just saying that this is an indication of it is the fact that we've discussed this several times this year that the mitzvahs of the Torah reflect the human body. Right? There are 248 mitzvahs as say. There are 248 avaram. There are 365 mitzvahs as say. There are 365 gidim. That's very cute. But what's the message of that? There must be a reason. What's the message? The message to us is that the Torah embraces us. That the Torah channels us. That the life of the Torah brings out all of who we were meant to be. In fact, um in the beginning of the safer ale shore, he describes the act of I suppose I said this over on Thursday night a few weeks ago. He describes the act of entering the world of Torah as an act of like getting drafted into the army. Like you're going to the army, so you give up a lot of your personal things that you want. You don't get to dress the way you want. You don't get to eat what you want. Your schedule is not yours. And he says when you enter the world of Hashem, there is a certain feeling like that. Shabbos, Mincha, Maariv, tzitzis, yamaka, you kashrus, right? There's a certain element where you're like signed up in an army. But he says that when you start to really connect with the world of Torah, his lashon is shav ein hamashal dimyon lanimshal. The mashal and the nimshal then separate because an army, and I'm not knocking armies, we need armies, but an army takes away the individuality of each person. But the >> [cough] >> connecting to Torah allows the most positive expression of the individuality of each person. And if you know people that are vibrant in their Yiddishkeit, no two are the same. They're not clones of each other. They're vibrant and they're different and they're expressive and and so on, each in their own way. >> [cough] >> So that's the um that's the that's the idea of freedom. So when we celebrate freedom, we're celebrating the ability to actualize all of who we are. The ability to bring out our true our true greatness, our true godliness. That's what we are. That's what we're That's what we're celebrating. We're not celebrating the fact that we get to do whatever we want cuz that's a pretty um that would be a pretty off celebration cuz we're not able to do whatever we want. The point is that we have a certain amount of that what we're being told to do is is the very very very greatest expression of ourselves and truly what we want. And that's why when we're in Shamayim where at their greatest point in history, we said na'aseh v'nishma about that Torah. Okay, so that's the um that's the about the concept of freedom. I really have to leave, but let me say one other thing just to to to be mashlim. The main mitzvah, this is a bit of a chlav an interesting The main mitzvah of the night of yetzias Mitzrayim is the mitzvah of Sipur yetzias Mitzrayim. We got it to tell our children telling the story of the Haggadah. Okay? Just an interesting thing that you find and the a very very fascinating insight comes out of this. You find there are four sons, right? Right? Can I get listen to this? Amazing. Can I get Okay? Yeah? We do have a son. >> No, I'm Russian, right? >> I'm Russian. Time? Okay? Um the time the Russian we know, the Russian we know, the time is the simple one. He asks simply. The doesn't know how to ask. Okay, I'll talk more about that in 2 minutes. What do we answer? So to the we start telling all the of Pesach. Right? He wants to know all the tell him of Pesach, right? To the Russian we say but avoid that also a sham we would say see me Mitzrayim. Because of this so that I might keep your mitzvahs, right? She says. Um Hashem did these miracles for me when I came out of Mitzrayim. And because the Russian said in a very derogatory way, he said like what is the what are these halachas that you're that you're that you're doing in a way that like the Yershalmi says on the on the on the question of the Russian, he says what is all this hard work that you've been why you making me so crazy? So we answer in a way by which also has Shamli, we accentuate the lee, telling him that if he had been there, he would not have been redeemed because he's not accepting mouthfuls from my own himself. The town says my zeus Very simple. What's going on here? What do we answer him? We answer him with the basic story of Pesach. We answer him the chazak yad hotzi akadosh baruchu akadosh baruchu took our forefathers out of mitzrayim. What do we answer to any of the alisha? The same as the rasha. B'avur we don't say leilo leilo, we just tell the any of the alisha because of this asa hashem lee b'tzeitzei mimitzrayim. Okay? Interesting question. Four sons, three answers. Isn't that interesting? Four sons three answers. Why are these two the same? These two are different, but these two are the same. >> [clears throat] >> Interesting, no? I want to tell you share you something just a a brilliant haggadah. There are two parts of the mitzvah of telling over the story of yetziat mitzrayim. One is the mitzvah of haggadah of saying it over to someone and one is that the style of the haggadah is derech she'eila u'tshuva. Right? The other one is that derech she'eila u'tshuva, which means in a manner of questions and answers. We start with the manishtana and so on questions and then answers. They're they're they're they're You can have one without the other. Right? You could have a child that you'll tell the story to. You're not answering a question, you're just telling him the story. You could do haggadah without doing derech she'eila u'tshuva. In fact, you can do darasha without doing haggadah because it says it says in haggadah that if a person is eating the seder alone, he asks himself questions and he gives answers. So he's doing darasha but he's not telling anyone the story. Right? So those are two parts of the night. You know, we do them together but there's two parts. We tell someone the story and we do the style of sha'elah u'tshuvah. Okay? The chakham asks a question and gets an answer. He has both. Okay? The tam asks a question and he gets an answer. He asks mazois and he gets an answer. The she'eini she'eino day lish'o doesn't ask a question. So you have haggadah there but you don't have darasha u'tshuvah. The rasha Reb Hutner is mechadesh and I think it's a very reasonable thing. He says, "Do you consider the rasha's question a question?" He says, "That's not a question. That's a criticism. That's a starting up. That's a lekanter that's dressed as a question. Does the rasha really have a question? Is there something he's trying to find out? When he says, 'What are you guys doing?' He's trying to find out like you say, 'Oh, sit down. I'll tell you. You give your share on it.' Does he want an answer? No, he's coming to complain. He's coming to reject." So Reb Hutner says the rasha also didn't ask a question. He may have used the form of a question but he didn't really ask a question. And he says something that I think is in chinuch is an amazing thing. He says, "When you have talmidim that ask you questions, so when one when a talmid asks a question, he's expressing himself to you, you respond to that self. So you give an answer that's specific to that talmid. But if the talmid is not sharing with you, and you just have to speak but you don't know who you're speaking to, so you have your speech that you give. So that's why on the two that ask a question, they get two different answers because they provide some complexity. The asks his my question, so he gets a like answer. The town asks a simpler question and he gets a simpler answer. But the Russian they literally both not asking questions. When you're not asking questions then you have a more standard with one. You're not asking questions. This is I thought it was a fascinating thing like how the town's question so shapes the Rebbe's answer. But if the town is not asking questions, it cripples a little bit the Rebbe's ability to fine tune his answer to the question of the town. It's interesting. I want to just share with you that that that this the one that doesn't know to ask, I do not believe that what's going on is that he he's so stupid he doesn't know how to ask or he's so uneducated he doesn't know how to ask. I don't think that's what it is. I think that I think someone's wearing the I think it means he's too distracted to ask. He's not interested enough to ask. He's not noticing that his life depends on this. He's not seeing how nourishing, how nurturing you just got to be for him. He's going through the motions but it's not awakening his curiosity. So he's just not asking anything. So you're you could be and he's like, "Okay, it's sure over here." He's not it's not speaking to him. And that's why it says I just got to you have to try to you have to try to open him up. And the message of opening him up is our lives depend on this. This is our everything. Everything that we have, everything that we've been through so that we could do this. So that we could share this so that we could do these so that we could learn this. This is our everything. This fills us completely and then some. So that's the idea, I think, of the She'eino Yodea Lishol, and I think it's a responsibility for us to think about like, how close are we to She'eino Yodea Lishol? You know, to try to be a Yodea Lishol. To come to Pesach with questions. It doesn't matter if they're not if they're provocative questions. It doesn't matter if they're they're they're questions about our Yiddishkeit that maybe don't connect with the Seder completely. But, at least we should come with questions. We should care enough to have questions. I don't necessarily mean that you should ask someone by the Seder, although that would be wonderful. I'm just talking about coming to a Yom Tov with a sense of wonder and curiosity. And how important that is. And that's what weaves itself into the Haggadah. That's why half the Haggadah is doing things so people should ask questions. We're trying We're waving. We're screaming. We're jumping. We're like, "Please, notice something. Please, be curious. Please, be motivated. Please, turn towards the the Haggadah. Please, turn towards the Seder and wake up." And that's I think we do live in a She'eino Yodea Lishol generation. It's not that we're very smart. The She'eino Yodea Lishol is a super smart guy. We We don't look at the pictures in your Haggadahs. You know, it has a She'eino Yodea Lishol with a pacifier in his mouth. No, that's not, you know, the She'eino Yodea Lishol is a super smart guy. He's making a hundred million dollars on Wall Street. Okay? He's just not interested in the thing that could be sustaining his whole life. He's a She'eino Yodea Lishol. He doesn't know to be curious about this. And that's something for us to try to work on as we're going to Pesach to be a Yodea Lishol, to know how to ask. Yasher Koach. >> [cough]