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Habayit Event - Full Coverage
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Auto-generated transcript. Not time-synced to the video.
One day I was sitting in my kitchen
cooking dinner and I got an urgent call
from somebody that needed an apartment
for 2 months. They were coming from
Israel for a heart transplant and I had
nothing. I called Elliot up and I said,
"Why don't we set up something for
people at the Him that are coming in for
medical treatments?
I see that there's such a need. There's
no stopping.
>> Imagine, God forbid, having to go to
Argentina because there was a specialist
there and we don't know a soul. We don't
know the language. We don't know how to
get by with Kashroo and Shulles. We only
know a doctor's name and a hospital.
Enter Habay. God forbid. If someone's
ever dealing with someone that's really
sick, the first thing they want they
need is the right hospital. The second
thing they need is the right habitat.
>> We're helping people from all over the
world, Panama and Mexico and Argentina
and all the US states and Canada and
many coming from Israel. Habite, it's
the most beautiful organizations I ever
saw in my life.
>> I've seen people come in through our
doors with such stress and sadness in
their face and when they leave our
doors, they have smiles and joy and
happiness. You have no idea what these
apartments means to these people. And
they actually have their own home to go
to. There can't be a greater mitzvah
than this. It's aid of the highest
order.
>> Takes a whole stress off their shoulders
knowing that they have somewhere to go
that feels like home. We don't just give
them a place to stay. We give them a
home. We give them heart and soul. We
give them love and support.
>> We have Baruk Hashem created an
international family of amdut
like I've never seen in my life. We're
volunteers of maybe 500 people just on a
chat that at any given moment somebody
needs something, we're SOS 24/7.
>> You can feel the brotherhood. You know
that that's my brother and they feel
that they're my sister and we're going
to be there for whatever they need.
>> The amount of letters, the amount of
feedbacks, the amount of love that we
receive on a daily basis is priceless.
>> Habot is an organization that I can say
I personally benefit from. a close
family member was in need of a place to
stay in Brooklyn due to certain medical
concerns. You walked into the house, you
felt like you were at home. It was
fresh. It was bright. It was full of
everything. It's not just a apartment.
It's not just a place to stay. It's a
family.
>> Mother called me up and she said, "Eva,
thank you for saving my daughter's
life." And I said, "I didn't save your
daughter's life." She said, "Yes, you
did. Because if we didn't have anywhere
to stay in New York, we wouldn't have
came here. And if we didn't come to New
York, we wouldn't have got the surgery
that saved her life.
>> I don't have words to say thank you to
Abai. Abide is one of the most wonderful
institution that I see in my life.
>> If you invest now with Habay, you're
going to have a share in a permanent
structure that is going to be doing
24 hours a day, 365 days a year with
hundreds and hundreds of people.
Somebody who saves one life is as if you
saved the entire world. If you can't
volunteer for the organization, then we
could partner up by giving money
is going to come in the merit of
charity. And this is one of the
charities that I believe will bring the
mashia.
It will be a beautiful kushem of
unprecedented
and with Hashem's help when Mashiach
comes this building will go with all of
us to
Wow, what a great turnout today.
It's hard to believe that it's been four
years.
Okay, thank you. It's hard to believe
it's been four years since our very
first summer auction. When we opened
Habai, we didn't have anything
complicated in mind. Just one goal. If
we could help even one Jew coming
through medical treatment far from home,
it would be all worth it. A place where
people from around the world could walk
in and immediately feel at home. Today,
four years later, Habite has grown into
18 apartments for Hashem. And hundreds
of guests, including community members,
have walked through our doors. Our Habai
building is still in progress and we're
looking forward for the day
when that dream becomes a reality.
What started at one simple dream has
become a place of comfort, hope, healing
for so many families.
Four years ago, we dedicated this event
in memory of my dear friend Cass Leslie
Cassen Ala Shalom. Some of you may have
known Leslie, some of you may have not.
So, who was Leslie? Leslie was a true
special soul. An incredible mom, a
loving sister, a treasured f community
member, a dedicated teacher who touched
lives of students of all ages, a talent,
a talented artist and an amazing tennis
player. But more than anything, Leslie
had a rare gift. She made people feel
seen. She welcomed you. She cared about
you. and she made you feel like you
mattered. She just wasn't someone who
could you could count on. She made you
feel like family.
She had a warm smile and a deep love of
Hashem. She was an extraordinary room
woman and she was cherished by our
community. Today there's a beautiful
reminder of Leslie around us. The
artwork you see throughout this event,
the flyers, the borders, the farmer
market logos were all created by Leslie.
Her creativity, her talent, and a piece
of her spirit are woven into this day.
Everywhere you look, you can see her
beautiful touch of joy she brought
throughout our community.
That is exactly the spirit we try to
bring to her bite every single day. When
a guest walks through our door, we want
them to feel the way Leslie made people
feel. Seen, welcomed, cared for, like
family from the very first moment.
At Habite, we know that when someone's
going through medical treatment far from
home, they need more than just a place
to sleep. They need to know someone is
there for them.
If they need a warm mail after a long
day of appointments, we're here for
them. If they need a ride for a doctor's
appointment, we're here for them. If
they need a friendly phrase and a
listening ear or someone to make them
feel less alone, we're here for them.
When people When we bring people
together as a community, especially
around Shabbat and Friday night dinners
and Shabbat lunches, so our guests don't
feel like they're far from home facing
their journey alone. We try to create
those moments of connection, comfort,
and belonging. The same way Leslie gave
so so naturally gave it so naturally to
everyone around her. And today, that's
what this room represents. All of you
here
are what keeps that spirit alive. Thank
you for being here. Thank you for
supporting our mission. And thank you
for being for some Thank you for being
part of something truly truly special
that changes people's lives.
Hi everyone. Thank you so much for
coming. Um, I don't usually stand up at
our event and speak. This is actually
the first time. But I wanted to speak
about something that was very close to
my heart.
this event this year, this summer, we
dedicated the event in memory of Sophia
Gerada, Sophia Bgali, Ala Shalom, who
was a sweet six-month old baby.
And it's very hard to put into words
what I'm feeling and what I'm sure a lot
of you are feeling as well.
Sophia was a light. She was
a baby that made everyone around her so
happy. She brought so much joy and her
time in this world was short but she
really left an everlasting impact on our
entire community.
The event today, this event is not just
a fundraiser for Habay. It's really a
day of unity where so many people come
together, the community, volunteers,
vendors, lunch vendors, farmers market
vendors, people helped us advertise.
Really, everyone came together and
every act of every act of unity and of
kindness should go to elevate her
nishama.
Um may we always be able to spread light
and love. Our community comes together
for one purpose
and that's to help our brothers and
sisters who live across the world,
people that we don't even know but yet
we care so much about.
Um, may her family who I love like my
own be blessed with so much and
happiness and tons of Thank you so much.
Hi everyone and
thank you all for coming. I want to
start by saying all the thank yous.
First and foremost always thank you
Hashem. You always make the habai
function something spectacular. Thank
you. I want to thank our hosts Shel and
Albert Antibi. I want to thank all the
vendors and sponsors and the people that
came together to make this special
event.
I know I'm going to forget names, so for
those of you that I forget, please
forgive me from now and I'm thanking
you. I want to thank Reene TM for taking
care of all the food. Hannah Sutton,
Joyce Rudy, and Celia Pollock for
handling the farmers market. Erica
Cohen, Paulie Shama, Rachel Safy,
Marilyn Abatty, Gloria Shabin, I know
how hard you worked. Thank you so much.
And then some of the allst stars from
all year long that helpay. And I want to
start with Gloria Mahana who lives and
breathes Habayat. We love you so much.
And thank you for all your hard work and
dedication.
Thank you Lillian Sora. Thank you Ruthie
Sra. Thank you to all our captains that
take care of all our guests. Without
you, we couldn't we couldn't have a
habit.
Thank you to Natalie
for pulling off this event year after
year.
Thank you to Beth and Michelle who work
so hard.
Beth, I'm going to say a personal thank
you for assisting me all year long and
everything. I want to thank Eva Matut.
She's the one who sets this up every
year and she does a spectacular job.
Each year more beautiful than the next.
Eva Mat without you
we wouldn't have this. Thank you and God
bless you.
I want to thank the engine that without
this engine there would be no habitat.
Eva Shama
really she doesn't get enough credit.
Thank you so much and God bless you. I'm
going to get shot for saying it but I
never listened to her before. Why should
I start now?
I want to single out this year two
people,
two special people that I learned so
much from this year.
My son-in-law Maris Jada.
It's a little hard. Sorry.
God bless you for all the you give
everyone else. I don't know how you do
it.
And I want to thank my hero, my Marggo.
You worked so hard. You did a beautiful
job. God bless you. Sorry for getting
emotional.
Um,
I want to say just a couple of words.
Today is a
beginning of the nine days. We know that
the nine days is about the temple being
destroyed.
foram
is the opposite of
it's all about
by showing everyone how much we care.
Many times it's people that don't know
anybody in America and we adopt them.
They have a family here.
And I'm going to tell you another side
point that I just mentioned to Rabbi
Fari. Besides the beautiful we do the
there's a huge kushem aspect here we
also get Jews that are unaffiliated
and unfortunately their exposure to
religion hasn't always been good
sometimes they're brainwashed sometimes
they just don't know any better but I
can tell you firsthand because of you
the volunteers and sponsors and donors
of Habayat these These people are coming
closer to Hashem. We just had recently a
family with a very very sick son in his
30s, not married, zero religion. And
because of your love, he asked us to get
him tiffilene. He asked us to get him
seat seat. They never prayed. We bought
them sidur and with their names on it,
including the mother who wasn't exposed
to religion in the right way. God bless
you all. I'm going to end with this. I
saw a clip yesterday. There's a big
rabbi in Israel. They call him the
Yanuka. He's a genius. And he says when
we're named after a biblical figure or a
big rabbi,
we take the shesh of that person in
ourselves.
So I just want to say that my name is
Elliot. My Hebrew name is Eli Yahu. Eli
Yahu is known as the Maserto.
He's going to be the one to herald in
the mashiach and announce the mashiach.
So I'm hoping that this will be not a
tab of a fast but that mashiach will
come and I know that it's only going to
be because of the zahoot of each and
every one of you people that are here in
the room today and that support Habayat
and take care of Habay. God bless you
all. Without further ado, I want to
introduce Rabbi Fari who's very close to
Habayat and we love him very much.
Of
course, we have to start
by thanking
Anti family. And you know, our roots go
way, way, way back.
Where are they? Are they here with us
now, Albert and Shel? They here, huh?
the inside where the smart people are.
You guys are stuck out here with the
heat. Oh, here we go. Okay. You think
about, do you remember me coming to your
house when I was this big all the way in
Hatheraway and we would sit there
singing and I still remember your
husband saying, "Juju and Bali, Philip,
Phillip, Flum, Flum." Remember those
days?
How time flies.
So, there were people who welcomed
everyone into their home. and how
appropriate it is that you are welcoming
us here today in your home. You're
welcoming a welcoming into a home
organization that is next level. That is
meta macro level
fulfilled in your home. Today's speeches
uh have been dedicated
Ralph and Gloria Herrari. And of course
as well we want to share our that the
words of Torah should be
as well
to the Cass families to the Gerata
family and as well to the Shelby family
inem
you know we think about Mashiach many of
us think about the beta mikdash but for
families that are dedicating things in
memory of somebody they're thinking
about being reunited
about
holding that baby again close to our
hearts and watching it develop with
being reunited with Leslie Shalom with
Ralph and with Gloria.
The name of the organization is called
Habit
which literally means the house. Now, I
want everyone to understand in Hebrew
when you have a hey in front of a word.
Does anyone know what that's called?
There we go. We have a couple of
students of dduk of grammar excellent of
Hebrew. Hey, in front of a word means
'the', but not the with a uh lowercase
t, the with a with a uppercase t. So as
an example, if you say he's the man,
lowerase t, he's the man. If you say
he's the man, that's the man. Like the
kids would say today, he is him. You
understand? That guy is the man. Hab is
the home. And that idea of
made me think about something that I
want to share with you today. You know
how a gim tells us that as so eloquently
was said by Elliot
Mikdash is destroyed for we all know
that. But the gim actually brings a
specific story that was the precursor
for the destruction of our holy temple
of the house of God the
come from from a story of kamsa and
barakamsa. Let's review uh you know like
at the beginning of a little episode you
get the the playback you know previously
on previously on
Kamsa
both invited to somebody's house for a
party.
Well the person who's supposed to get
the invite is Kamsa instead of goes to
Baramsa. Guy shows up. The guy who's
running the party looks and he sees his
enemy and not his friend. He goes over
to him and he says, "What are you doing
here? Get out." He thought that he
wanted to make up. He thought he wanted
to make shalom. He was now inviting him
to the far. He came to be able to make
shalom. He says, "What are you doing
here?" He says, "What do you mean? Get
out."
He says, "Please don't embarrass me. I'm
willing to pay for my meal." Guy says,
"You think I care about your meal? I
don't want to have you giving me
indigestion even looking at you. Get out
of my house." He says, "Please don't
humiliate me like this in front of
everybody we know. At least," he said,
"I'll I'll pay for half of the whole
wedding.
Get out. I'll pay for the whole
wedding."
Look, my friends, how sensitive it can
be for someone to be excluded. I'll pay
for the whole wedding. Picks him up with
his hands
and he throws him out.
says the Gimar, when that happened, that
was the beginning of the end. This man
winds up going to Rome, winds up getting
the emperor involved, winds up bringing
the destruction of the beta mikdash.
My friends, I want to point out the
language of the Gimar,
what did he say to him? My
what are you doing here? You don't
belong here.
What we're learning is that the of God's
house happened because someone said,
"You don't belong here. There's no room
for you here." And he threw them out of
a house. My friends, Ravk writes in his
or he writes something unbelievable.
He says if the beta mikdash was
destroyed with this the rebuilding will
also happen in the same manner.
So today to be having an event where we
make sure that a person does not feel
that they don't belong where a person
walks in in a place that is on the
opposite side of the world to their
house and everything is prepared for
them. It's not a hospital room. It's not
an impersonal hotel room the size of a
shoe box. It's an apartment. There's
games there. There's food there. I was
thinking to myself, in the destruction
story, the man says, "I'll pay for the
food." And in our rebuilding story, we
put food in the place.
In this place, THE MAN DOESN'T BELONG.
And over here, there's a mat right in
front. It says welcome home.
There's 17 Abay apartments when I came
to speak a couple of years ago and I
mentioned that next to the next to the
hospital by Sloan where people come from
all around the world um to be able to
get treatment in one of the premier
hospitals for cancer in the world. We're
struggling to find a place to put
people.
Someone was at that speech. Then they
came forward and they gave their
apartment to Habay to be used. My
friends, we went from 17, which is very
good, to 18, which is life.
I'm going to come up with a good
gimatria if we have 19. Don't worry
about it.
Yet, which is the initials of Yom to it
will be a holiday up in here if we get a
new. We need near NYU. We need near
Sloan. And what happens is sometimes we
get an apartment that was rented, but
then the rental contract ends and we're
down another apartment. I don't have to
tell you from them that Habai needs more
places. I know it from myself because I
get the phone calls saying, "Rabbi, I
called this one. I called that one. They
have a waiting list. There are no
spaces." I get emergency phone calls
from Hatsah. phone calls from 24/7. All
these organizations calling me to tell
me that there's a lack in this space.
Every dollar you spent today, I know you
were thinking about the prize, but the
true prize was not what was on the
table. You have this package and you
have that package. A package for him and
a package for her. But my friends, the
greatest package is Shamayim.
I almost think that if you had your head
screwed on straight, you should think to
yourself, I hope I lose the raffle
so that I do not get rewarded for my act
of sedaka in this world. What a crazy
thing. You know, the nature of a
person's home, of a Jewish home, is what
underscores
deciding if he wants to stay with us.
And I can't share this enough. My mother
used to say all the time. We would bring
people home from the kice. Someone that
didn't have a place to go. I had it in
my home. A guy is sitting there. He
comes in. He's wearing jeans and a
t-shirt on Friday night. I go over to
him. I say, "Shabbat shalom." He says,
"I'm sorry, Rabbi. I'm wearing a t-shirt
and jeans. I wasn't supposed to be here.
The flight got delayed. I got in last
minute. I said to him, "You got in last
minute. You came straight to the shul."
He says, "Yeah, my suitcase is
downstairs." I said, "Where are you
going to eat if your suitcase is
downstairs?" He says, "No, no, I'm good,
Rabbi. I'm okay. I'm going to go home.
I'm going to eat in my in my apartment."
I said, "What are you going to eat in
your apartment?" He says, "I have
cereal. I have some crackers, tuna
fish." I said, "Bin nan you're going to
eat that Friday night." Captain Crunch
is not for Shabbat. Sorry.
tricks are for kids, but it's not for
Shabbat. You're coming to me. He said,
"You didn't even ask your wife." I said,
"You don't know my wife."
I learned this. She learned this from
our parents. My mother said it and she
said it a million times to us as kids.
If there's room in the heart, there's
room in the home.
And if ever there was a message that
personifies what Habay does, what drives
the engine that drives the place, what
drives the volunteers to set up the
apartments, and if you don't have the
money, and if you don't have an
apartment to give, and you don't can't
even buy a raffle ticket, don't worry.
Give them your phone number. I'm on the
chat and I see when they say last minute
a couple is coming in. Last minute
someone's bringing their child for
treatment. We have an apartment
available for them but it's not been
clean. Can anyone go into the apartment?
I see uh your messages. Uh Mrs. Jama,
can you volunteer your time?
You sell linens in your store. Can you
donate linens?
You sell
disposable plates. Give disposable
plates. Sponsor the disposable plates
for a month for 18 apartments. The
linens that they need, the games that
they're going to put in the cabinet.
I see people are raising your hands. I'm
not doing an auction over here,
but you speak to the right people and
they'll set you up.
Who wants a piece of this mitzvah?
You know, the puk says in Misham,
if there is worry in the heart of a man,
the gim says, what does that word mean?
If you're worried, if you're afraid,
what should you do? Says the
page 75.
First opinion,
he should push it down in himself.
You're worried about something. Don't
give that worry oxygen.
You know some people you're worried like
this.
Your worry is like a seed.
You're worried about something that's
this big. But then you have people, it's
like they like their anxiety more than
they like vacation more than they like
their children. If your anxiety is
ruining family time, and you all know
who you are,
you like your anxiety more than your
family.
But it's not that you had an anxiety
pill this big. You know what you did?
You took out a shovel and you dug. And
then you took your little anxiety pill
and you planted it in the ground. And
then every day you go out and make sure
you water it.
You're revisiting it in your mind. Says
the you know what you should do
in your own mind. Make it small. Make it
low. Don't bring it up. You're thinking
about it in your mind. You know what you
do? Change the channel.
You know what's great? I'm going to ask
everyone to do a thought experiment with
me right now. Can I ask everyone to
think of a pink elephant?
Everyone got a pink elephant in their
mind? Yeah. Pink elephant in your mind?
Do not think about the pink elephant. Is
anyone not thinking about the pink
elephant anymore? Everyone still think
about it. You want to know how you erase
the pink elephant? No problem. Easy
solution. Ready? I want you to think
about a light blue and dark blue panda
bear. What are you thinking about now?
You can't think about both at the same
time unless they're playing together.
You understand what I'm saying?
Change the channel. First answer, you're
worried. Change a channel. Think about
something else.
Second answer,
talk about it to somebody else.
two ways of understanding it. I always
say that it's not that the Gim didn't
know if it was one or the other. Share
your burden. Talk about your worry. Talk
to a friend. Talk to a a parent. Talk to
a therapist. Whatever you need, my
friends, listen carefully.
The Gim is not offering this or this.
It's saying do the first one. Salvage
yourself.
But my friend, what if you come with a
worry
and you can't solve it?
You know what you need to do? And this
is hard especially for typea people.
This is hard not only for alpha males,
but for alpha females,
for people who hate asking for help.
You ever see someone walking with 42
items in their hand? You're like, "Here,
let me get that." They're like, "No, no,
I got it." Then they're opening the door
with their foot
right now. They open the door. It's a,
you know, they're hopping because it's
closing. And then they kick it and they
kick it more. Yeah. You understand? No.
No. I got it.
That's a mashal for how they deal with
everything in their life. Their
finances. No. No. I got it. The issues
with their kids, no one's going to help
them with their marriage. No one. I
don't need anybody's help. Second answer
to Gimar is you can't solve it yourself,
honey.
Lean on somebody.
But you know what the worst thing in the
world is? When you go do one of those
trust falls
and the other person didn't get the memo
facing the other way and there's no one
there to catch you.
You flew in from Panama
and you have nowhere to stay.
and you figure, I just need to go
because we need the surgery. We just
need to go because we need to get
treatment started. We'll solve it there.
And then you find out that hotels in the
city are $1,000 a night or more.
You find out that, God forbid, the
husband and the kid and the other one
can't stay in a room that's that small.
and they don't have a roll away because
you can't get a uh uh embassy suites in
the area.
Sometimes our worry is not solvable by
ourselves.
So we lean on the people around us.
I have to say as someone who lives in
the city, who gets these phone calls,
who refers people all the time, who
hears afterwards what it meant to those
families,
my friends, we are at a very holy event
indeed this morning. And I think that's
why Hashem is blessing us with this
wind.
Cuz when I left my house, I was like,
there's going to be nobody there. I
can't even walk to my car without
sweating. How is anyone going to sit
there and listen to his speech?
Hashem knew.
My friends,
I must say from the bottom of my heart,
and this is something that I feel when I
go to these events
day after day in the community,
I I I can't I feel almost overwhelmed
with emotion.
Thank you Bam
for making me part of these people.
Thank you Bam for making me part of a
people who not only have room in their
own heart and in their own homes
but are ensuring that homes are
available for other people outside of
their space.
Now, if I could ask you,
I want to ask you to join me in this
little thought experiment for one
second. Maybe to try and communicate one
idea.
You know,
the crazy thing about Habitat
is that unlike a different organization,
we're not solving the problem.
We're not curing the cause. We're not
giving the person a baby with bonet or
lam. We're not uh helping someone get a
prosthetic limb with the next step.
We're not doing any of those things.
But what we are doing
is we're giving a person a respit in the
most difficult time in their life.
And my prayer and my thought for every
one of you
is that in the merit and in the zoot of
being there for someone literally in the
darkest moments of their whole life when
they walk in and they turn on the lights
and they see what we built for them with
our love, with our care and with our
concern
and they say, "God bless these people.
My prayer is that every single one of
the people here should lose the phone
number for and never need it for
themselves.
My blessing to all of you is that every
bit of worry or fear that we solved in
them
should say, you know something, he's
worried, she's worried. Let me take a
little bit off of their package. You
know, one of the most beautiful things
that we say in the Jewish nation is
that you carry in the weight of somebody
else.
Carrying the weight doesn't mean that we
got rid of it, but it means that you're
carrying it with somebody. And sometimes
the only thing that you need in those
times is to feel that you're not doing
this alone.
The is described in the book of
it is fascinating to me to notice
you're talking about the destruction of
the temple with the worst possible
things happening.
But let's look at the opening words of
that book.
How does she sit alone?
Worse than anything in the world is the
feeling of being alone.
And my friends, if that is the nature of
destruction,
then think for a second about what we
are building here.
I had a fellow come to me in my shul.
He came for the uh to pray. And I have
to tell you as a rabbi,
it's not always so easy when you see a
guy sitting there in the shul that you
don't recognize and he's got one of
those tags on his wrist
and you go over to the person and I
don't know how else to say it, so I'm
just going to say it. There's no vanilla
in this situation.
It's either the happiest day of this
guy's life or the worst day of this
guy's life. So, you're kind of walking
up to him. You can't smile. You can't
frown. You kind of have to look like you
just had a fresh treatment of Botox. No
expression whatsoever.
Shalom.
what brings you here? Very par of
language.
The guy holds up the item and that's
when he tells you. But one day there's a
guy sitting there in the front of my sh
10t from my seat. I see he's new. I walk
up to him. I tell him frozen face.
Shalom.
What brings you here? Welcome.
And the man tells me that unfortunately
it wasn't the positive one, it was the
other.
I said to him, "You have a place to
stay. Where are you?"
And the guy looks at me and he says,
"You know, you'll never believe it."
I said, "I never believe what?" He says,
"I came here. I had no place to stay." I
was like, "Okay." I'm seeing where this
is going. He goes, "I'm looking at the
hotels. I can't afford any of them.
Bizour bizarre we could afford the
flight to get here for the treatment. I
didn't know what I was going to do. I
was actually thinking of sleeping in the
shul that don't know this is not Israel
over here and no sleeping in the shul
allowed. The only sleeping allowed in
the sh when the rabbi speaking.
Anyway, the guy says, "I was even
thinking of sleeping in the jeul." I
said, "And then what happened?"
And he said, "And then someone told me
about this place."
I said, "Oh, I never heard of them
sketching." Guy's like, "You never heard
of them?" So, he didn't know I was
sketching. So, I went with the bit. I'm
always committed to the bit, by the way.
I went with the bit. I'm like, "No, who
who are they?" He goes, "These people
are angels.
I didn't know them. I called somebody to
ask which shoes if they're open all
night. Is there any place?" And someone
gave me this number and they took care
of it. I don't even know the guy's name.
He came here with his son about two
months ago.
You could find the look who go back
afterwards. Maybe three months ago, one
month, I don't exactly about maybe
between six and 10 weeks ago. The guy
sitting there, he came alone with his
son. The guy said, "These are angels."
And he I said, "Tell me I should have
recorded it. I'm such a dip."
And he's telling me and he's pouring it
out. And you know what he said?
He said to me, "I have to tell you, I
came from a country that belongs to the
Jewish people from Erit Israel. I
thought where am I going to go? I'm
leaving home.
And he says, "And I came here
and I felt like I never left home." And
I looked at him and I said in Hebrew,
he says, "Ma, what do you mean? It's
like I said
the slogan is as much as home as
anywhere in the
what a gift to be able to provide that
to someone my friends and that is what
we have done over here. I was thinking
if that's what Habay does, it makes you
feel like someone's holding it with you,
that you're not alone, then it is no
wonder that the gimatria of Habit is
exactly 417.
And the of doing something and being
together with someone
is exactly
47.
The nature is that we are doing this
with you. You are not alone. What a gift
to have been able to be part of that. My
friends, I have lost now nine pounds in
sweat.
I know you think I'm taking my glasses
off because I can see. I can't see.
Maybe you think it's because someone's
not sanua. The rabbi is very holy.
Doesn't want to see. I'm taking off my
glasses so they don't slide off my face.
Okay.
But let that be my contribution
to sweat for this beautiful thing to
work for this holy organization
to be there for Israel when they don't
have so we could be like Hashem says
may Hashem bless us that we should be
saved from what we are saving others
from. May Hashem bless us to always be
from the ones that are giving and not
the ones that need to receive.
And finally, may Hashem bless us to be
in this incredible mitzvah, the mitzvah
of the gift that keeps on giving.
We would like to introduce
Anat is here with us. One of the guests
of Abay here from Israel to share with
you why you came today and how it feels
to have received the great gift that we
are bestowing on people in these
moments.
There steps on this side.
Um, here you go.
Um,
okay. So, my name is Anat and I live in
Israel. Um, I actually don't know where
to start. Um
my son Gal, some of you know him. He's
uh 33 years old and two years ago he was
diagnosed with a very very uh rare and
aggressive
uh cancer um in his head. Uh we first he
had the surgery in Israel and then we
flew to Houston because they offered
treatment that are not in Israel. And
this is all during the war in Israel.
The health system in Israel is really
collapsing at the moment. And uh it was
it's very hard to get um good treatment
in Israel. So we flew to Houston. He had
proon
um therapy radiation
uh for three months. We stayed at Bet
Kabad and that was the first time we
were exposed to the generosity
of the Kabad people in this um because
theos the house of Kabad is right on the
hospital and we could walk um for to his
treatments and they were amazing. Every
shishi there is dinner in they were
amazing. There are no words for the
rabbi and Arabanit.
Um and then we came back to Israel. He
was fine for a few months and then it we
found out it was um metastasized all
over his body. Now my son is a
contemporary ballet dancer and a brain
neuro researcher at the Tel Aviv
University.
Um, for me as a mother, obviously I
would rather die instead of him and
sacrifice, but it was him that was so
sick. And in Israel, there was nothing
they could do. He went through chemo and
there was nothing else they could do.
Um, so we decided to come to New York.
Elal um provided us with free tickets. I
don't know. That's the first time
anybody heard of it. And somehow, I
don't know, uh, I heard about a bite. I
didn't know anything. I'm originally
from Argentina.
Um,
my parents are Argentinians and I I I
mean, I didn't know anything. and I I
arrived here and I have the most
beautiful apartment.
I don't have to worry. People are
driving us to the hospital. I mean, what
I'm trying to say is that on this part,
you know, I'm free to take care of my
son. I'm free to deal with what's really
what really matters instead of all the
time worrying where are we going to
stay, how much is it going to cost, when
am I going to be able to fund raise
money for that, you know, it's like and
I'm fundraising in Israel. We did fund
raise for Houston because the cost of
the treatments were unbelievable. You
probably can imagine. Um,
it was my son's birthday on May 28th and
he was crying because he couldn't go
back to Israel for his friend. He was in
the middle of treatments and the
hospital would not allow him to go. So,
you know what happened? I send a message
to the captains of our apartment, Sarah
and Elise, and also asked um the
Ashkinaz Orthodox who also help us. So
the captains had full of presents and
balloons um in the house and we had he
had a birthday party with Hassidim in
New Jersey. I don't know in Inglewood I
think. Amazing amazing party.
Unbelievable.
So
um I don't know how come we deserve that
gift or that generosity
but um the only thing I can tell you
that this allows me to take care of my
son. Now my son was in stage four five.
He was really, they say,
he was on his way to meet God. Really,
there was there's no other way of
describing. And now
um
is um
is in a clinical trials in at msk.
They're amazed. They never seen anybody
react so far. I mean, I'm afraid to say
anything because of Ara
is is doing so far amazing
and and I I keep saying thank you so
much. Thank you so much. It I mean I
have no words. Um when you see my son
and you know there might be a few days
maybe a few years and you have to trust
you have to be you have to have faith.
Um I will say another thing that we are
secular Jews we live in Israel obviously
but since my son came here
he started to put fillin every morning.
He doesn't miss
one day.
He's now in Israel
and he keeps whenever I call to him, he
says, "Mom, I wake up, I put fill in and
I can start my day." And then I have
breakfast because he the clinical trial
works. And he says, I I remember he says
the clinical trial um the bottle has a
blue strip and it matches his filling or
something. and everything he he relates
to the and I wanted to say one more
thing we never realized we knew that but
we never thought
when it I mean it's kind of my son is
from the lineage of Ketim
I told this um but we never thought
anything about that but now you know I
can see how he gets closer to that part
of 's family history. Um,
so again, that's
I if you've seen us when we first came
here, you would understand how important
and and it's a miracle. It's really, you
know, what you're creating is is
unbelievable. Thank you so much. So
much,
Rabbi.
How's it coming?
Thank you very much for being here.
I understand that it's um
not exactly 72 degrees,
but it's an honor just the same
to be here on behalf of an incredible
organization.
So, thank you for those of you that are
in this temperature staying for not just
one class, but for two. And thank you
for your attention. I'm going to try to
be relatively brief. How long should I
go, Miss Sham? How long should I go?
What's the right amount of time?
What? 30?
I think like 25.
I want to tell you what makes Habay, in
my humble opinion, an incredible
organization and an incredible concept.
What is Habitat? You already heard, I'm
sure. People come from all around the
world and even from within our community
and they need a place to stay. I know
the feeling. My father Shalom wasn't
well for seven years. We were in and out
of hospitals. And there were times that
we need a place to stay overnight or
over Shabbat.
And Habai really didn't have that then
for us. But today they would have and
the places we went were wonderful but
nothing like having the safar that our
community has having the beauty the way
Habay does it. You know our community's
stance of style and standard is is high.
But in many ways that high standard we
use for other people too.
But I think there's a soul to habit that
is important. And if you this soul is
something that you could share
and something that you could imitate
in your b you could imitate in your life
in your own home
in your own life
you know
and if you could understand this idea
that we're about to share and you can
use it and the concept is so simple
it can elevate
every interaction you ever have.
And I hope that if we could internalize
or we're about to share, it's something
you could use wherever you go.
Mosheu
stands at the burning bush and Hashem
asks, "What's in your hand?" And Mosheu
says, "It's a stick."
Hashem says, "Take the stick and throw
it to the ground." He throws it to the
ground and turns into a snake.
Hashem says, "Bend down and pick it back
up again." And he does.
And he picks back up the stick, the
snake, and it turns into a stick. The
question is, what's this whole charade?
It's Hashem. He knows what's in his
hand. Why is he asking what's in his
hand? And then why is he telling him to
throw it to the ground? Why does it turn
into a snake? And why does it turn back
into a stick? The answer I'm about to
share with you is the most important
lesson in leadership anyone can ever
learn. And it's so simple.
God, Hashem was asking, "What's in your
hand?" He meant to say, "The stick that
you have in your hand, why is it in your
hand?" Because you see, in the days of
old, the stick was used for power. A
king held a stick. A stick was used
for income. A shepherd held a stick.
And so, we're asking him, why is it in
your hand? As long as that stick is in
your hand for yourself, throw it to the
ground because it's as poison as a
snake.
Now, bend back down and pick it up again
and use that stick for another. And
that's what leadership is. It's a very
simple thing. What's your stick?
Identify your stick. For some people,
their stick is their personality. For
some people, it's their connections. For
others, it's their intelligence. For
others it's their education. For other
people their stick is their house. For
other people their stick is their sense
of humor. For other people their stick
is their money or their business or
their relationships. What is your stick
and use it for another? And that's what
leadership is. There are so many people
say I'm not a leader. What can I do?
Identify your stick and use it for
another person.
I shared this story once with a video a
video video that was being used for
Mexico
and someone the person said who was
videoing was understood the Torah and he
asked me a question. He says, "Rabbi, I
want to add to what you said. Why is
Moshe Rabanu's name Moshe which means to
draw? It should have been Mashu which
means that was drawn."
And he said the answer is says the Atam
the answer is because for the rest of
Mosher Rabino's life he would be drawing
other people out of the ocean
again. So what does that mean? What does
that do with the stick? The answer is
this and here's the point. Here's what
Hashem did to Moshe Rabenu. He made him
be drawn out of the water. He made his
life vulnerable. He made him about to
drown. And then Hashem said, "All I'm
asking you to do is what I did for you,
you do for another.
That's your stick. Every one of us go
through things.
What happened to you, do for another.
What happened to you, communicate to
another. What happened to you, use it to
understand another.
That's your stick."
So, let me explain what I mean because I
don't think I was still clear enough. I
told you about the stick, told you about
the water, but didn't tell you the
point.
Hashem has blessed me to have the
opportunity to speak in many audiences.
Many of the audiences are people that
are going through a challenge. I've had
the chance in my life to speak to a room
full of widows.
Had my room chance to speak to a room
full of people divorced.
a room full of people
that are way older than they expected to
be and not yet married. I recently went
on a trip with a room full of people
that are married for 10 years or more
and don't yet have children.
I last week spoke in Lakewood to a room
of people that have children that are
special needs.
I spoken to a room full of orphans.
How do you talk to people like that?
What do you tell somebody
that's going through something,
especially if you didn't go through it?
What do you tell them?
And here's the key. Here's the stick.
The key is that we treat everybody. I've
never in my life walked into a room and
thought that anybody in the room was
less than me.
I never in my life walked into a room
and thought that I was better than
anybody else ever. That means when I
walk into a room of women that are
divorced, I'm not thinking, "Oh, what'
she do wrong?"
I'm thinking, "She's very likely holier
than me."
I walk into a room of people that are
not well, I'm not asking, "Why did
Hashem do it?" I'm thinking, "Wow, look
at the am this person has." Even when
they're sick, look, this person might be
greater than me.
And when that's your attitude that we
are all the same, that is the most
powerful stick in the world because you
take and you say, you know what, we are
together. Hashem made live this way.
Hashem said, Moshe, you're going to save
people your whole life. Your whole life
you're going to save the nation
complaining in the desert. You're going
to save the people. You're going to save
the people. You're going to save the
people. But you know how you're going to
be able to save the people?
by you when you were born being saved
yourself.
So every time you save someone else,
you'll know you're no better than them
because you once needed to be saved just
the same.
The beauty of habay
is habay treats total strangers as if
we're all the same. The house looks as
beautiful as their own personal living
rooms.
We treat people. Habay treats people
with the same love that they treat their
neighbor and they treat their sister.
They don't just feel welcome. They feel
respected. They feel important. The
apartment is the stick. But it's the
vibe that was in that's within the stick
is that what gives it all its power. The
vibe that you never know, I might need
an apartment one day just like you do.
I've said to a room full of girls that
wanted to be married 10 years earlier, I
said, "You need to know one thing.
Nobody's better than you.
Nobody's better than you. You see your
friend, she got engaged. Tell her to
relax. One guy likes her. Take it easy."
It's true. Some people get engaged, they
walk around like they're from the better
people in society today because they
were engaged. Take a chill. Let's see
how you feel in two years about your
engagement.
Take it easy. The single girl might be
luckier than you. I don't mean it, but I
do.
Who you ever see people walk into a room
act like I'm the lucky people.
That vibe is what leadership looks like.
That vibe is the best way to give.
I'll give you a story.
I'll give you example of what I mean.
And every speech I've ever given in my
life, I try for that message to come
across
every interaction.
And sometimes people will come, they'll
ask me for a better
a part of me wants to say, I don't have
time for your another part of me wants
to say, is this a joke? I'm not worthy
of giving a
But both are the wrong response.
If my response is, we're in together. If
I could give you words of encouragement,
I might need your encouragement
tomorrow. So, of course, I'll give you
encouragement today.
Let me give you an example of what I
mean. Let me tell you a real story.
So,
just so you understand, my sh in
Brooklyn is 20 minute walk from my
house. The shul is on McDonald between
S&T and my house is on East 12 between O
and P. Anyhow, one Shabbat this year in
January,
I forgot my son in SH.
True story. A little boy, my youngest,
Moshe. He's 11. He's a little guy. He's
taller now, but I left him in sh. So,
you want to know when I remembered,
right? You want to know? So I walk to
Avenue S to East 1st, East 2nd, East
3rd, East 4th, Fifth, Ocean Parkway,
East 7th, 8th, 9th, 10, Coney Island
Avenue,
Kings Highway, Quentin,
R, Kings Highway, Quentin P, East 12th.
walked up the steps of my house, went in
my house to the second floor, went into
my room, took off my shoes,
sat on a couch in my room, was having a
conversation with my wife,
and one of my daughters peaks her head
into the room. She says, "Dad," I said,
"What?" I said, "I'm talking to mommy
now, like I can't talk to you." She's
like, "Dad," I said, "What do you want?"
She's like, "Dad, you left Moshe in Shu.
I said, "I what?"
She says, "He's not home. You left Moshe
in Shu."
I'm like, "You got to be kidding me."
Now, you want to know how special my
wife is? What would you say if your
husband left your son in Shu 20 minutes
away?
I'll tell you what I would have said to
her. Are you kidding me? You got one
job, one kid to bring home. You know
what she said? My wife said to me,
"Joey, do you want me to go get him?"
And don't worry, I'm a good guy. You
know what I said back? I said, "No, it's
okay. I'll come with you."
So, we went downstairs and sure enough,
there's Hat Salah member, you know, Leon
Fryway. He lives next door to the Shul.
He walked my son all the way home.
My son came into the house and then went
into my room, closed the door, and said,
"Dad, I'm not talking to you again.
and he really didn't want to talk to me
all day. He was so upset.
And you know what I did on that
Wednesday? I shared the story on a class
that could be listened anywhere around
the world. And I told the whole story. I
left my son in shu and I got emails and
I was expecting to get emails from
people like, "What kind of rabbi are
you? You to give you to speak about and
you leave your kid in shu? You're going
to open a school? you're going to leave
all the kids in sh.
You know what I got? I got emails from
people. One person sent me an email.
Rabbi, I also left my kid in sh. Another
one said, "Rabbi, I once left my kid in
a mall." Someone else said, "Rabbi, I
once left my kid in the park."
Someone else said, "I once left my kid
in the car." And then I remembered
quickly.
You know what I realized? The whole
Jewish world, they're all leaving their
kid places.
You know why I shared this story?
Because I am just like you.
We're the same.
When they open the door of Habay and a
family from Mexico or Elat, a family
from Yushaim or LA, a family from
Chicago or France opens that door, they
feel like they're coming home. They feel
like they're being treated the same.
This is the key to interact with people.
It's a very simple key. Treat everybody
like they're the same. Don't feel bad
for people. No one wants to feel be felt
bad for. And don't act as if you're
above people.
We're the same. You're not more
religious. You're not more wealthy.
You're not taller. You're not
betterlooking. You're not luckier.
You're not more blessed. You don't have
a bigger house. You don't have a smarter
husband. You don't have a more
successful business. You don't have
holier kids. You don't have luckier
kids. You are not better than anybody
else. We are the same. And you might say
that's simple, but it's hard to do
because it's so easy to look at somebody
who doesn't have what you have and say,
"Okay, yeah,
fake smile." You could keep your fake
smile.
I need the vibe. We're in this together.
And I went on the trip. I never had
spoke to an audience like this. I went
on a two-day trip with people that don't
have children. I was scared, stiff
ladies, scared. What am I going to say?
The keynote speaker. What am I going to
say? The whole time I was on quest,
buses, Q&As's. Tell you the truth, I had
no idea what to say. I just said, I know
what my vibe is going to be. We're in
this together. I'm not going to tell you
some sigula that I know that you don't.
We're not going to tell you how if
you're just a little better, you'll get
lucky, too.
We're the same.
End of the trip. Someone said to me,
"Rabbi, I can't believe how you
connected with us." It's a simple thing.
We're the same.
That's the vibe that you have when you
walk into a house of Habay. You feel
respected. You feel included.
I'll share with you another story. Well,
another thought and another story and
we'll conclude.
Thank you very much. By the way, I
cannot believe you're here. I don't know
what the temperature is. We're just
going to go with 64 degrees.
Everybody's got the card. I think that
card is supposed to be You're supposed
to like give money or something, but
it's okay. Use it. It's a fan. Um, and
the work that you do, Elliot, Mrs.
Shama, the work that you guys do to do
this and all those that are involved,
the names I didn't include, it's so
beautiful and it's something that as a
community we're so proud of that we can
do things like this. And I'll give you
tell you the truth. I'll tell you what I
mean. What?
You also left your son in.
Did he come out okay? Yes, he's all
right. He's okay. He's healthy. He's
happy.
He has three kids already. Okay. I hope
he doesn't learn from his father.
We all We all have these moments. It's
just we're all human.
I just now leaving I just gave my
woman's class in the sh and I was
leaving the class and people come over
to talk and I'm trying to be respectful
to each person. Then at the end, the
rabbi comes from Brazil and and and I
know I'm late or I'm about to come here
and I need to think over what I'm going
to say and
I said, "But here's a man from Brazil.
He wants to meet me." His wife listens
to the classes. He gives me
and and then and then I gave him the
time and he said, "I want to show you
the institution I'm involved in." I gave
him the time and you know what's
beautiful at the end? He says, "Rabb, I
want to tell you what is so special
about you." And he told me two themes
that are in my speeches often,
two things that he thinks I do. I said,
"Wow, look, I thought I was helping him,
but at the time I walked out, he helped
me."
There's a gimmar that is to me one of
the most haunting gimarot there are. The
gimar writes,
gimmar asks a question. Why is it that
the children of Tomim are not always
like their fathers?
That's a scary question. Why is it
sometimes that the son of rabbis are not
as holy as their father, the rabbi?
And the has a number of answers, but I'm
going to give you one. And other answers
are literally all captured in this one.
Because sometimes the rabbi calls
people.
What does that mean? The rabbi is in a
position of power and sometimes the
rabbi could be condescending. Ah, I
don't need you. I don't want you.
I can't talk to you. And there are times
that you can't talk to the person. But
how does it come across?
Because I want to tell you a little
secret about people.
The secret is most people have a little
broken inside. Most people have a little
something inside of them that they they
need that feeling.
They feel vulnerable.
I'll give you what I think is an
incredible example. It's not such a I
don't if I should be telling a story
about this kind of person, but it makes
the point.
This Shabbat in our shul, we had a rabbi
from Memphis, Tennessee,
and he said, "Rabbi, I got to tell you a
story." He says there was a Jewish
couple in Memphis in the 1950s and60s
and they took in a boy who was not from
the Jewish community, wasn't Jewish, and
this boy had fell on hard times and they
were nice to the boy and they took care
of the boy. They gave him food to eat.
The boy was a good guitar player
and the boy started playing in clubs and
eventually the boy became the number one
non-Jewish singer of all time.
You know his name? You know his name?
What?
No. From Memphis, Tennessee.
There you go. So, you heard of this man?
He has pot.
You got it.
This man many times when he sang on
stages would have a kai necklace on him
or a Jewish star because of how much he
loved the Jews.
In 1973,
the Hebrew Academy of Memphis, Tennessee
was in difficult straits and they were
going to close.
They were going to close.
The Jewish people in charge of this
school went to this man I just told you
and they asked him for help. He wrote a
check in 1973
for $300,000
to keep the Hebrew Academy of Memphis
open. To this day, the yeshiva is open
because that man
that man gave a donation. They wanted to
honor him, but I guess they never got a
chance. He had already left the
building. But that's what they in
Graceand there's actually a plaque
that says the Hebrew Academy of Memphis,
Tennessee wants to thank Mr. Presley for
all that he did because he saved our
yeshiva.
He was probably a good-hearted person.
He liked Jews.
You know what else I can tell you about
this person?
He was dead by 42.
Why would a man so famous, so wealthy,
so popular be dead at 42? The answer is,
ladies, because everybody's a little
broken inside. Everybody has a little
need. No one wants to feel less than.
Hashem told Moshe Rabenu, I'm going to
give you a great stick. Use that stick
for another. But it's not just what you
give to another. It's how you give it to
another. When you share the stick, don't
share the stick as mashi, as if you were
once saved. Share the stick as a
reminder that as you're saving other
people throughout your life, remember
that you needed to be saved, too. So,
there's really no difference between me
and you. So any room you walk into, any
person you speak to, whether they're a
person in need or they're a person that
feels like they have no need in the
world, I don't care who that person is,
every single person is a little broken
inside. They don't want to be admired
and they don't want to look looked down
upon. All they want from you is to feel
like they are the same. And that's what
Habayat does. Thank you.