Gratitude Increases Your Blessings | Letter #10 of 30 Letters in 30 Days

uh good evening welcome to letter number 10. a third of the way through are 30 letters in 30 days journey tonight's sheer and the Merit that we accrue from the limous from learning together as a uh a worldwide group all over literally all over the globe all of that should be uh is for the ascent of the Soul of a young schlier a baby of only two months old who recently passed away just uh this month on your other Menachem Mendel then foreign and very soon all of the uh the Mitzvahs that we're all doing collectively should uh bring about the Tipping Point of the coming of meshiach and his family should be reunited with him here in this physical world last night we read a letter that the rabba wrote to a mother and I commented that it is something that you really have to Marvel at how the leader of world jewry is taking time to write a long letter to a mother about not a life and death thank God not a life and death issue but just something about finicky eaters kids who don't like what they're being served and which foods should we serve them and the lab is getting involved and writing a lengthy response and I and I marveled and I said it's just something we really need to to stop and pause to appreciate so today we received an email from one of our uh viewers somebody who is participating in the 30 letters in 30 days uh Mrs SD Ben Shimon who said that was my mother who wrote that um Mrs rifkaitlin Salonga yarden of Montreal an active leader in the Jewish women's community in sheikhabad many activities in Montreal may she be very healthy and well and continue to have much from her children grandchildren great-grandchildren great great grandkids great grandchildren I'm not sure if she's up to the great greats yet but for sure to the great grandchildren and uh that was her letter Mrs uh Rifka taitlin the story is actually that she uh her husband was a sheikhet and as a Sheikh you know if you know the business so you get even more scrupulous so as an Insider he was even more careful about castras than even other Sid them he did not eat at Sim because he was he was very very careful so there was I found out what the food was and it's so remarkable by the way we're reading these letters and and it seems like history it's not history these are people who I just found out today what the food was it was salami and the salami was glot kosher okay and everyone was eating the the glat kosher salami it was an impecial's thing that his special khamra because he was a Sheikh he had an extra sensitivity about so he didn't eat that and he didn't want his family eating it okay that's see yesterday in the letter whether that was talking about levels that being even more muhudder is is has value to it it's not just kosher or not Kosher that even in levels of Castro's there there there's a there's an objective advantage to doing things even on a higher level of scrupulousness and that was the case that it was a heschel's special humra to not want to uh consume that salami or to have his children consume it and basically he said to his wife you know maybe I'm being a little bit crazy here maybe it's you know plenty of good God-fearing Jews are eating this salami do I have to be so from and not allow our children to eat it when you know it seems like maybe they would like it and it was specifically by the way for their eldest daughter in a soda yeah um now Oliver Allah from uh uh kalmanson from Cincinnati and uh the fact that her mother wrote for her this letter and we're all reading this letter this should also this learning should be uh a merit for her as well um it's just an incredible thing so she was she was more of the finicky eater and uh so her her mother was thinking maybe to eat the salami to serve the salami to to little stanasara and so her father was saying you know maybe I don't have to be so so so so so uh meticulous uh maybe I'm standing in the way of my children eating something that they would enjoy so at any rate so what did what did uh what did Mrs Saint Lynn do she did what uh what a mother has to do she wrote to La Babu and she said look you know this this food is kosher but uh it's not our standard we wouldn't normally eat it and it ever answered and said keep to your standards and actually I was told that later on many years later there was a discussion in the family about pesachashers about certain you know patients coming not to scare you that um a discussion about whether children have to keep the same hidorim regarding uh pesach and so Rabbi Taylor reminded his adult children who were at this point parents themselves and said ha remember the letter that the devil wrote to your mother that even with children we try to do everything in the most scrupulous meticulous way um yeah so that's a real letter that's a real family those are real people uh this is all they're very real this is we're not uh reading Legends over here this is real life okay so um let's go to today's ladder and maybe we'll find out who this was too maybe tomorrow someone will say hey letter number was to my relative or to me maybe even so again this letter is to a woman and similar to the previous letter that we read which was to a woman it's in Yiddish and I mentioned this before I'll mention it again that um it was not uncommon when the devil would write to women to write in Yiddish because that was the language at least at that time that many women were more comfortable corresponding in um so you know remember the first letter that we read in the whole series so that that letter was to not just a woman but to many women it was it was in Yiddish okay so here's a letter in Yiddish fun svelt reitzen which means like the dates you know how you do like numbers for dates December 13th I'm assuming it's month then day in that day then month because I don't know what the 13th month would be so I'm assuming it's December 13th so an answer to your letter from December 13th I guess that's how the person dated it um so that ABBA was using the the date that the person used I'm dealing with stuff live right here as I'm trying to give this year I'm seeing I'm negotiating a deal for you guys right now I'm trying to see that the actual facsimile the photograph of the letter to the mother last night I have a picture of it on my WhatsApp and I wanted to get posted publicly I'm trying to arrange that for you right now that's why I'm being rude in texting in the middle of this year okay so it answer to your letter from December 13th we'll see maybe by the end of the class I'll have an negotiated that deal um the vashidna um standing in which you write about the various different challenges problems versus that you went through and then you make a conclusion okay basically you write about your life and all the trials and tribulations that you and your husband have been through and then after you write this this uh narrative you sum it all up with a with a conclusion is it always was not good for and now is also not good and from that is understood you could extrapolate of their foreign your view or your perspective on the future in other words here's my life here's the problems we've had in the past it hasn't been good right now in the present it is not good and therefore I'm coming to a conclusion that probably the direction we're heading is also not good now my friends you tell me somebody writes to the labavid to prove to the Obama that they do not have a good life they've never had a good life and uh if everything continues the way it's been going they're gonna have in the future not a good life you tell me first of all what do you think the Obama should have is going to respond yes I know compassion and I know validation we know that we know that we know that there's going to be love there's going to be empathy we know that but do you think that ebb is going to let the person get away with do you think that the Obama should I was going to let them get away with the prognosis that they are doomed to have a bad life in the future do you think the Bible is going to even let them get away with the in retrospect calling their past experiences a bad life or do you think that ABBA is going to figure out a way to open up a new perspective so that not only this person will be able to see how the future has potential but even the past that they were looking up looking at with a bad eye maybe even the past was not so bad after all and by the way I'm not sure which is more difficult to pull off to convince thing to convince somebody that things are going to change and be different in the future I think might even be easier than to convince somebody that the past that they experienced and they lived through and they already have their narrative and they already have their interpretation of of events to convince them that it's not all doom and gloom the way that you've been looking at it I think is even harder but let's see what happens I don't know I do know because I read the letter obviously I prepare these before I give the share but even if I hadn't read the letter I would have known by now knowing my rabbit that he's not going to let this slide he's not going to let this negativity slide let's find out okay foreign it perplexes me oh I think it just happened did it happen yes on the 30 letters updates the letter from last night the photograph of the letter was just posted wonderful that's so nice um and how can people join the WhatsApp can I get information so I can tell people here during this year sorry we're doing business in the middle of the class but this is the nature of live television uh let's see okay um yeah it puzzles me I'm perplexed that Emma says how did you reach such a conclusion like I read your letter I heard what you said I'm not sure how you reached that conclusion it's like you're showing me a bunch of numbers and then I'm looking at your your bottom line and I'm like how did you get that that total I don't I don't see how it adds up basically now this is classic rabbit um argues with somebody's perspective the way I always have seen it is at least at first that ABBA will prove to you something that you hadn't thought of by using your own information as the as the as the as the main argument meaning instead of the devil coming in saying hold on a second you forgot to mention this you forgot to mention that there's a whole bunch of stuff that you left off your list of life no no the Devil comes in and says I read your letter and I want to kind of read it back to you because you yourself are writing in a laying stripe doc you yourself are writing after all that from your whole family remained only a few I'm assuming unfortunately it's probably most likely that we're talking about Holocaust Survivors this is after all . so uh one that ABBA says that from your whole family there only remained a few I'm assuming that means survivors from the Holocaust Ed and you are among the few survivors now yes I understand that you could paint that in a negative way and say you know my whole family got wiped out except for a few of us I get that but glass half empty glass half full right that I was saying look you're telling me that you you have nothing but bad luck if it wouldn't be for if it wouldn't be for bad luck I'd have no luck at all um I can't believe the thinking that you only have negative things happen to you when you are one of the fortunate few survivors like you told me that most of your family didn't make it and you're from the few survivors so you know I got to kind of point that out to you dear another thing that you write vegan fashionner um Feller have the kite that means like problems and sicknesses those men is that you went through now again I know that you could paint that also negatively and say look how many problems we went through although you could also read it and say look how many problems we went through like we made it through we got out of it we're here we're still standing oh yeah and then also regarding your husband you write that nobody could have imagined guitar and he did stuff meaning effectively meaning he succeeded he did I don't know what it was whether it was business or something else but something that was unlikely and he pulled it off ensive and you both live in a house maybe she mentioned I mean clearly she did mention the house because here the rabbit is mentioning back to her various things that she mentioned to him now maybe she mentioned the house to say it was too small or had a leaky roof or whatever it might be but the rabbit is taking the Adam that information and saying it back to her and you have a house don't forget if you have a house too so I mean this is a this is an approach we see often from the rabbit which is I'm not negating your data and I'm being very I'm taking a lot of Liberties when I say these things and I am self-conscious about who am I to create a whole in how to read the rabbis letters and the answer is who am I I'm nobody I'm just some guy and you're welcome to do the same as well the reason I do this is because I want people to learn the devil's letters in a deep way and to internalize it and if you find a better way to do it be my guest but I'm going to say some stuff that I'm totally making up you could agree you could disagree it doesn't matter at least I'm getting you to think I see how often the rabbit will refuse to to dispute people's data if he can avoid it because and again I'm being very I'm Taking Liberties to to make assumptions but when you tell when you debate somebody's data when you tell them no your facts are wrong it's almost like okay so where do we go from here it's like there's no Common Ground we're not even in the same reality but I I've seen very often where the devil will basically say your facts are good they're fine your facts are right in fact I would like to use your facts as my argument in fact for now I don't even want to bring in my own facts that you may have overlooked I just want to use the fact that you gave me and present it back to you and I want to take exception with your conclusion in other words I have no quibble with your with your information with your data I'm taking exception to your interpretation of the data which to me is just from a just from an educational point of view so much more powerful um you know it's like I'm 90 of the way there already I have the information I'm just reading it wrong I'm just interpreting the information incorrectly and now you're opening my eyes to a new way of looking at it and it and and then it's almost like yeah all of this makes sense to me because I'm very familiar with this information and this this is my story these are my experiences I this is what I told you just with a a new way of of coming to a conclusion another A New Perspective I heard once somebody say an expression that what's a pessimist is somebody who uh he has correct information but he comes to an incorrect interpretation I think that's what the debit does so often okay um all right I was just given a link amazing there's a link to subscribe to sorry for the interruption again I just got the link to subscribe to the WhatsApp and I'm going to put it in the chat somebody mentioned in the chat also by the way that Mrs common passed away I ended up his birthday so her yard site's coming up that's amazing thank you for letting us know that that's really amazing profound okay thank you for that information um now I'm adding to the chat right now a link to join the WhatsApp group there you go and you will if you're not yet in the 30 letters 30 days WhatsApp group updates or what 30 letters 30 days updates WhatsApp group you can join it right now and uh maybe they'll repost that picture that they just posted okay yeah so at any rate you have all these problems hold on a second you've you've survived you've continued you've made it through so much and here you are your husband has succeeded in something that nobody ever thought could be done and you have a house and you have a life I mean what are you what are you complaining about there's so much so much to be grateful for count your blessings okay now that itself is a very important lesson but that's not all that ever says there's there's much more here there's much more let's continue is that I'm cooking dick in Dem alum so when you look in meaning if you analyze all of this is everything that's going on not just outwardly superficially nor was what's going on in your private life meaning in your home meaning not just the stuff that on paper is visible that everybody knows about your life but the Deb is saying your private life if you look at it are you talking is there was a striped how is it possible that your conclusion is what you wrote that everything's always been bad it is bad it's gonna be bad that I'm just saying I know your life I know what's going on and and I I don't get how you're coming to that conclusion now watch this watch this you know what toxic positivity is it's a new term it's a great term toxic positivity means somebody's so positive they won't give me permission to express any discomfort and it's smothering and it's belittling and it's dismissive that's what toxic positivity is the debit just said come on why do you think you have a bad life you have a good life and you proved it to me is that Evan now refusing to allow her to express any discomfort is that ever refusing to allow her to express the desire that things should be even better no not at all and that's the beauty of this nuanced approach I think so many times uh what we fail at as new is is nuance the deba's approach excels at Nuance that two things can be true at the same time so the debit just said you have a good life and you're going to continue having a good life now it's understood as as Madoff battened by Hashem is as a Soul's we have to ask Hashem that it should be better and even better it is his very nature to bestow goodness so I'm not saying you can't ask for things to be even better yet you can and you should you should because things can get better and better and better that's hashem's way ignoring that's an English word you shouldn't ignore that you already saw in other words it's okay to ask Hashem for more but when you do so you don't have to come to Hashem and say I never had anything good please Hashem for once do something kind for me that's not the way to say it first of all it's not even true he has been kind to you come to Hashem and say Hashem I'm so grateful for the kindnesses that you've done for me could you do it even more as good as good as best English Basic and you do even more foreign especially like you wrote to me that I was using her information again to argue against her false conclusion you told me already that you've seen open miracles in your life so it wouldn't even make sense for you to go to Hashem and say Hashem how about you start being nice to me that's not what to say first of all it's not polite but it's maybe moreover it's not true come to Hashem and be grateful for the goodness and in your case open Miracles that you've experienced and ask for more ask for even more miracles why not that's fine Hashem is you could ask him for even more miracles there's no limit so you see the beauty of that one doesn't obviate the other it's not like well once you accept that life is good now you have surrendered your ability to ever ask for things to be even better no it's not it's not so rigid like that it's not it's not binary where it's either you have acceptance or you can ask Hashem to do good you can do both you can have acceptance and gratitude and at the same time you can dive in and ask Hashem to do more and more good the two can coexist and not only they can they should that is the way that a Jew looks at life okay let's continue I want to emphasize them as I'm not trying to tell you so that I was sort of reiterating the previous point I'm not trying to tell you to that you shouldn't look at what you need like you should ignore your needs foreign I'm not saying that you're not lacking some important stuff see that's a very important point it's interesting that Eva didn't say that until now my suspicion is if there ever would have said from the very beginning you're right you're lacking some pretty important stuff in life she wasn't ready to hear that at the beginning because she was already feeling down and that would have just cemented the whole Doom and Gloom but at this point where the Deb Has Lifted her up and that I was given her permission to ask for things to be even better now that Eva can say to her and by the way I I do realize that not only you could ask for good to be even better but yeah I am aware of some pretty important stuff that ever calls it that you're missing not ignorant of that I I understand there's some important stuff in life that you don't have so I'm not pretending that that's that's not an issue it is an issue I just want to emphasize and point out call your attention to the good on good in their Grace of us and good in the in the in the biggest measure verse which you and your husband have seen even with the physical eyes meaning it's not something that you have to go philosophize in order to imagine in the abstract you've seen things in your life which are overtly hashem's kindnesses so that's not taking away your permission to say that you want things to be even better it's not even taking away your permission to say there's some pretty important things that I'm missing in life and I'm still asking Hashem to help me with they can both be true in other words it's not like you have to prove that you have an awful life and it's never been good for you in order to have permission to start asking for Hashem to do kindness that's not what it is and in fact what the dev is going to say we didn't get there yet we're about to get there is not only that these two things can go together what two things gratitude and asking Hashem to do more not only to the can those two things go together but here's the bombshell one actually complements the other boom how you like that I mean this really I mean it seems like a simple letter but it's not it's deep deep theology over here so first of all we said take a positive outlook on the information okay great then we said by the way once you do that it's not like you can't ask Hashem to make things even better and then we said in fact you can even acknowledge areas in your life where you are seriously lacking it's okay to acknowledge that um and you can acknowledge that and be grateful at the same time two the two are not mutually exclusive now that I was about to say something radical not only being grateful and asking Hashem for for his kindness can happen at the same time but being grateful is actually the greatest way to effectively ask Hashem for his kindness Watch What Happens here it's a very it's very deep stuff okay another point this is this is what I'm foreshadowing over here is not a triviality this is a this is a pretty important Point here versus this is explained in our holy Torah as the Mas braches follow me here the measure of blessing from Hashem as depends to some extent I love that term by the way in agavismas again Nuance again Nuance I love nuance because the web is not saying that it's entirely dependent I didn't finish the sentence yet entirely dependent upon what I didn't say yet but that was not saying that your blessings are entirely dependent upon this next thing that that was about to say but to some extent in agavismas to some extent and perhaps even to a quite significant extent the measure of blessings you receive from Hashem are dependent upon to some extent dependent upon what the menchem the way a person receives it in Ein Klein with them the way that a person recognizes hashem's kindnesses that expands that enlarges the pipeline and the vessels of tobacco men's to receive hashem's kindness in the near and distant future in other words follow this receiving what you're getting already with gracious gratitude and with thanks with real sincere thanks thank you Hashem that not only does it not obviate the ability to ask Hashem to do even more for you but to the contrary that ex that itself is an effective way of bringing more blessing when you thank Hashem for the kindnesses that he's already giving you and you accept those kindnesses with gratitude it pulls more of the same into your life so it's not the squeaky wheel gets the grease it's not God forbid you should show Hashem that you're grateful because he might think he's doing an adequate job if you act satisfied with life Hashem might say oh those people don't need any more help they're good I'll leave them alone that's not how it works actually show Hashem how appreciative you are of the kindnesses that he's already bringing into your life that itself pulls more kindness into your life how you like that that's a bombshell that's a theological bombshell okay for the Asus to them now one of the solutions for this right because it's easier said than done tell me how to do this foreign when you want to receive more blessings from God 's clickbait Title La Baba should have his Secrets how to receive more blessings from God you with me nobody's turning it off now okay is do someone else do another Jew a favor a material favor or a spiritual favor unizive just like everybody needs to give sadaka does haste as yet in them everybody has an opportunity to give to DACA meaning it's not just rich people against DACA obviously the philanthropist gets the plaque on the wall but everyone gives gives to DACA everybody has an opportunity to give something to someone I say is the same thing in spirituality everybody is a mashpia everybody is a spiritual teacher everybody has something to offer of a spiritual nature in them and the more you dedicate yourself to it now first of all you're doing a Mitzvah it's a command from the Torah kivas out of them as this is love your fellows yourself which will be Kiva says is the main principle of the title so first of all you're doing uh what the trader commands you to do foreign some gazunt bathroom on off their upshatsung versus so this kindness that you're doing for others it increases the more you do it it's it's scalable in other words it increases the satisfaction that you get from seeing the fruits of your labor and that has an effect both direct and indirect on the Improvement of your health and your perspective of everything going on in your life and around you in other words positivity breeds positivity you have a good outlook on life you see blessings you're gonna get more blessings the rich get richer we know this okay so then how do I get a positive attitude because I'm caught in a vicious cycle right now the rich get richer the poor get poorer when I have a scarcity mentality and I feel like I don't have a good life so you know what that I mean that doesn't speak negative that only speaks positive but alive when I'm feeling like things are no good actually I'm chasing away my blessings God forbid so I get caught in a vicious cycle because then it gets worse and then I feel worse and then it gets worse how do I break out of that so here's the secret the Bible says start helping people first of all when you help people you're doing a Mitzvah so right there has infinite value but also and and don't say who am I to help people because everyone can give to DACA materially and spiritually start helping people and when you start helping people you're going to feel good you're going to see the effect you're having direct and indirect and when you start feeling good about how you're helping people you're going to start saying life is not so bad the world is a nice place and when you start feeling like the world is a nice place it will actually objectively become even nicer of a place for you because that good attitude will bring down more blessings that's the trick it's not a trick it's not like a a life hack it's it's just a truth not a trick it's a truth okay let's continue here viratsen result now that you should inform me of good news about the above en foreign the result of hidden them guten Minogue from beneath is thrall you should also keep the good custom that Jewish women have to Gavin of the DACA out of Shabbos DACA before you light Shabbos and yamtov candles with blessing quick this is signed by the rabbi's secretary another amazing letter another absolute treasure that each one of us can start applying in our lives right now this moment really grateful to be here thank you for learning with me and we'll see you uh tomorrow night for letter number 11.