Good Mourning | Blood Brothers Ep 11

All right. Hi, David. Thank you for joining me. >> Hello, Chase. Thank you for joining me. [laughter] >> I don't know why I'm laughing. You just have great comedic delivery. Um, so this episode of Blood Brothers, we've I don't I lost track of how many episodes we've done. We We started several years ago and we've done it rather sporadically, but >> maybe like five or six. >> Yeah. May maybe more than that. But um the last episode I think we did was right before we got our haircuts after our father passed away. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And then I was uh I don't want to say uh viciously harassed, but >> well maybe we'll discuss why it's okay to say I was viciously harassed and no one should be alarmed about >> that's what you're supposed to do. Somebody has to do it. Right. Well, nobody knows what we're talking about. Viciously viciously harassed to take a haircut. >> Yes. >> Okay. I want to fill that in because right the hala is you're supposed to after, god forbid, someone's parent passes away, they're supposed to let their hair grow until they are um harassed by their friends. So, I was viciously harassed today in Shaw, you have to cut your hair. All right. And I said, you know, last time I was told to wait 3 months. Um, which I did. And then, so then somebody looked it up and said, you know, really, it's probably been 3 months since your last haircut. Which is true because before our mother passed, it was like over a month since I got a haircut. Now it's been well over two months since her passing. At any rate, so I I figured it's our tradition. >> Yeah. morbid tradition to re to do an episode before before the haircut cutting. Whatever. >> But you you mentioned this to me and and and and proposed that we do this episode. I told you I'm I'm not there yet. Like I can't even I like even if I like purposely try to make it look messy, I can't. I don't know if it's just because like my hair's been growing slower because of the winter. I don't know. I didn't get a haircut right beforehand. Like I get like three haircuts a year. But >> yeah, [snorts] you can see here I got I could you know this is my hair growth. >> But it's it's it's important for you to look respectable because people people turn to you for >> I'm a respected uh figure and people re respect my advice about serious matters and how are they supposed to take me seriously? you look foolish then >> if I look foolish with long >> you're not respectful to the to the help that people need. You're not respecting their needs if you make yourself look foolish. >> Right. Exactly. >> So um I think last time we did this we spoke about what have you learned in aos which is the Hebrew word for the period of mourning. What have you learned from the experience? I think a lot of what we focused on was uh leading the prayers communally and the >> yeah the burden of that and uh the experience of that. >> Can I tell you something that I that I've noticed in recent weeks? >> Yes. >> I've been paying attention to it over the past couple I don't know this recently I've been paying attention >> for those who are not so in tune with our lives. I just want to like explain to everyone our father our father passed away um and there's 11 months where you're supposed to say kadesh and lead the prayers three times a day and then um so after that 11 months and then a month later is the first yard site the first anniversary and then less than a month after that our mother passed away. So it's the second year in a row basically that we're doing this that we're Yeah. >> Yeah. We've we've been doing it for a while now. And I was I'm I got pretty sick of it right away. >> I know that that sounds like Well, of course you're sick of it. It's it's it's the morning. >> It's a terrible thing. >> Nobody wants to be mourning, right? >> But the thing is, I love Jewish mourning. Like I I wish I didn't. >> Yes. I I love it. >> What do you love about Obviously, I would have loved for our parents to have I would have loved to have waited many more years to experience Jewish mourning, >> right? >> Um, but be having to be in the situation it is the part of Judaism. I don't know if I said did I say this last time? I might be repeating. >> I don't think so. I'm actually surprised. I did not I don't think I ever heard you say you love Jewish morning. >> And and I want to clarify you clarified also, but I want to clarify your clarification. You are not saying that you love being in the position of of mourning. No, but it is inevitable and everybody will be in a position where they lose somebody they love unfortunately. >> Yeah. Unfortunately. Yeah. >> And then the it could be that there is no special thing to do in Judaism for it, >> you know. But like but there is. And for me I feel like [snorts] um it is the part of Judaism which feels to how do I say this? It feels like it sees me the most. Like us as people. >> You feel seen. >> Feel seen. I feel like it's tailor made for >> Why do you feel seen? Why do you feel seen? >> Because the rest of Judaism is not for us. I had an argument with a friend about this who he didn't like when I said that. It is for Hashem. Hashem wants a bunch of things. Wants us to wear things in our heads. He wants us to like Hashem wants us to light candles at certain times. Hashem wants us to do a bunch of things. Right. >> Well, I agree with that. I mean a is hashem. You're serving Hashem. It's not about Hashem serving you. It's about you serving him. Yeah. >> Yes. But I feel like mourning it's we're not doing it. I mean, yes, I guess there are mitzvah, but it seems to me that they those are designed for the human experience. >> Well, let me distinguish something before you go further. So the person who viciously harassed me was was Valavik who's the dov in Kabad of five towns and he did it intentionally to force me to force my hand um to getting a haircut and then I said to him okay I hear you but if we're and he says we're make and ais you know especially are are that we are as lenient as possible in mourning because apparently it is not good for the soul that you're mourning for to be overly mournful. So I said to him I said to him fine no problem but if that's so then explain to me why are we mocked why are we so careful with every kadesh and so so he said that's a great question the difference is mourning means like the sad stuff and you don't overdo that then there's the things you do to honor the soul and bring joy to the soul for that we we run after that we do a lot of that so those are like two different things >> also just from a culture P perspective, it makes sense that Kabad would be really into the stuff because, you know, prayer is a is a a central part of the Kabad philosophy and culture, >> right? But it's not just the prayer stuff. It's also like the mitzvah that you do in honor of the >> person who passed away. For that stuff will like we'll go out of our way to do more and more of it. But the mourning, meaning like the sad stuff, apparently you're not supposed to overdo. But what were you saying before about most of Judaism is stuff we're doing for Hashem? >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> It's designed around what Hashem likes >> and what makes you know to use me to like all of these are borrowed terms anthropomorphosizing God but what Hashem likes and what makes Hashem feel comfortable and all of that. But uh a veos morning is just seems like it's so very it's like it's designed around what a person is experiencing these giving space for these different types of space also and it's really that's really interesting to me like I've always I've always felt like tish like the the the Jewish month of tish with uh starting with rashana and then yam kipper and then sukus and going into that whole thing I've always felt looked at that as a composition it has like like pieces that come together and it feels like there's something artistic about it. So a veil also I feel like there's a composition there's different pieces there's different spaces that have designated that feel differently and um and then and and and I feel like they're all they're all made for what >> they're maximized for the human experience. >> Yeah. >> So you feel like you're really being taken care of. >> Yes. I feel like it is what Judaism is for a lot of other people. Um, but not for me >> most of the time. >> As a like orthodox pacidic kabad Jew, >> you think most people feel like Judaism caters to their >> Not most people. I do think there are some people who who have a Judaism where that is what it is for them. And >> are you talking about people who only do what they like? No, I think >> that would explain that. >> If you only do what you like, then obviously everything >> I want to be clear. I'm not being judgmental about this. I think that there are different communities that that focus on different things. >> Okay. >> And so communities are less focused on um like the prescriptive authoritative responsibilities that you must do certain things. communities are more focused on the experience of of like what is meaningful to you. So then by definition that is what what it's going to be. It's going to everything's going to be more meaningful because that's what the where the focus is. >> Okay. >> Um >> and normally you feel like Yiddish kite is more like we didn't ask you what's meaningful to you. These are things that God said he cares about. And then I have to go I have to go search for meaning in them. And that could be very rewarding, >> right? But you feel like mourning was like served to you on a platter like the meaning is already right there. >> Yeah. >> Okay. Could because I I know that you're not a person to just say things randomly, but it feels so random to me. Could you I'm not doubting you, but I'm totally not clicking with this. Could you give me one example? >> Just one example. >> Yeah, I can give you plenty of examples. But why is why is it so difficult to like you think I'm just saying a random thing that and I can't back it up? >> No, I don't think that's what's happening, but I can't relate to it. >> It sounds like it. >> Yeah. Um, >> I called you bluff. You were just randomly saying, "Are you reading off of a chat GPT right now?" >> Yeah, I asked for ideas for Blood Brothers and this is what it gave me. Um, so first of all, >> you're right to push back on that. >> What? You're right to push back on if you're reading from a chat GPT and you would type in secretly, "My brother just called me out that I'm bluffing." You're right. >> You're totally right. I I may made that up. Now, let me answer you for real, though. Um, yeah. So, the different times we've got Shiva and then Schllesim and then the rest of the year. So, you have the first week where everyone's just completely crowding around you and surrounding you, >> right? >> They call that seven days of house arrest. >> You ever heard that? Seven days of house arrest, 11 months of community service, >> and then you got schlashim, which there's it's not really that different than the rest of the year, >> right? >> There's nothing specifically what's different about I don't know, but it you cut you commemorate it at the end. You do something. So, it's it's a space that exists >> and then you got the rest of the the the year. Well, you got 11 months of St. Kish and then and then another little month straggling at the end until the year is over until the first yard site. So um just giving those different periods of time. So right after the p first of all there's actually a fourth period which is in between death and burial. >> Yeah. >> Which is amazing to me. So if people aren't familiar with it, there's this period of time between death and burial where you are supposed to where a person is supposed to not just the only thing that they have are obligated to do is take care of this person who has passed away and for you know certain for certain relatives who have that [clears throat] responsibility and then they you you don't have to do any you can't do anything you can't davin you can't say bras the way I explained it to my children they were asking like what can't you do what can't you do I say I have no obligations As a Jew there, I can't do things that I'm forbidden to do. But if positive obligations of things to do, there's nothing there's nothing. >> Okay. So, you can't do any prohibitions. >> Can't do any pro I hope you didn't you knew that. [laughter] >> Now you tell me. >> Yeah. Well, I'm glad you got it out of your system, Rabbi. >> Okay. Right. Okay. So, you're not obligated any of the positive uh obligations? Yeah. So, it's like you're not even mourning yet and and there's also like there's there like a veil of morning restrictions that don't kick in yet, >> but you're but you're just in a in a void and like you're in a a uh like a no man's land. >> Mhm. >> And in a lot of ways, I feel like that people feel that way. So, the person just passed away. You don't have any there's no structure to it. There's nothing you could you can't think about anything. There's just you've got the burial coming up. >> There's no there's nothing there's no form to it yet. >> It's just a thing that happened that is is completely all-encompassing and yet you can't make any >> you cannot process it. So, right. It's not it's an it's like you say all-encompassing and yet you're not even able to experience it. >> Yes. Right. >> And and Judaism gives you that space for it where you're just allowed to be. >> Okay. So, it's nothing. Yeah. >> Right. And then the burial happens and then you've all of a sudden everybody comes crashing in on you. Um I I don't I know that it was I I think it was a different experience for you than it was for me. I I we're both introverts, but I liked having everybody around. I didn't always know what to say, but I liked having everybody around. What I'll tell you what I liked about it. I liked that there were weren't it was so it was the type of social intera I'm I'm I'm talking too much. I >> No. Why do you think Why do you think you're talking too much? >> All right. I've just been been monologuing straight. Um >> really >> I So part of what may gives me anxiety about talking to people >> Yeah. >> is trying to think about what it is they want and need. >> Yeah. And you don't have to do that. >> Well, maybe you gave yourself permission not to do that. >> To me, that was the clear rule of the game, which is everyone is here for me. I'm allowed to do whatever I want. >> It's my party. >> Our said cry if I want to. >> I can probably cry if I want to. Rachel said that that the rule should be that any conversation that starts that if a conversation starts and you don't want to do it, you can you're allowed to just stand up and go nope and walk away. >> Uh I don't know if I implemented it exactly that way. >> I did some things akin to that and I definitely it was not without a social price. So you may pretend in your own mind that all social uh norms are lifted for the Shiva but it's not. And I was particularly annoyed by the people trying to make small talk and the questions and like like I did I did I ask for social interaction right now and I I I'm I don't want to sound like ungrateful because I do appreciate people coming to comfort me but it's like please why why do I have to perform? Why do I have to like engage in meaningful conversation or it's not even meaningful conversation? Why do I have to engage in this this this format of like like you're interviewing tell me something meaningful about your mother? I I don't want to I'm not in the mood to like so no I don't enjoy I don't enjoy Shiva and all I can tell you by the way is because our parents passed away so close back to back like one right after the other I noticed that I I had about a quarter of the people who showed up for Ma's Shiva more than for Ta because when it was our father it was a brand new out of nowhere lot of people showed up I think when our mother passed away it was only a year later and people were like, I just went to this guy's show. >> I just did this. >> I just did this. Like probably about a quarter of the people showed up and I was relieved. [laughter] I was relieved. >> I noticed that too, which is why I decided that all but my friends whenever their one of their parents passes away, you know, that should be after 120 years or you know, however many even more than that. Um but uh I'm not going to go to the first one. I'm going to save it for the second. Oh, strategic. >> Yeah, they're going to hate me for a while, >> right? But then when their second parent passes away, >> nobody else comes >> and no one else comes. But I don't think that's the case with most people. I think it's because of us cuz they passed away >> like one right after the other. I think if someone's parents pass away like 10 years apart, then they probably get equal turnout for both Shivas. >> Okay. So maybe that's not a good plan. >> No, it's not a good plan. It's also not a good plan because I'm I am not good at planning anything and so I will probably end up >> based the whole plan on you're going to upset them for a while but then you're going to make them happy when you do the follow through but you're going to forget to do the follow through. >> Yeah. Right. It's all depending on the follow through which I'm notoriously bad at. >> Yeah. Set a [snorts] reminder. >> Right. So >> I do, by the way, I have Google alerts on some of my friends parents because I was >> Oh my god, don't say that. That's not true. >> Uh, all right. That's not true. >> Oh, it is true. >> I don't I really don't want to be in a position where where like I cuz I'm I don't pay attention to anything. I'm so disconnected. >> You have Google alerts on friends parents in case there's an obituary on CO Live, you'll know about it. >> Yeah. I I'm sorry to ask you a third time. Is this true? >> Yes, this is true. >> It's not a bit. >> This is not a bit. My My life is a bit. >> Okay. H. So, I think we've spoken before about how nerve-wracking it is to lead the prayers three times a day. Feels like having to catch a flight three times a day. how annoying it is to to deal with all of the just the the the there's so many moving pieces that are going on in communal prayer and to try to stay focused is really really challenging. Did I tell you did I tell you about maybe I told you this last time? So there I have a friend whose mother passed away like six months after our father passed away. So like half the year into half way into like the St. Cadish period. So he reached out to me and this is a guy who is a pious Jew and who actually I think likes prayer and generally goes to shul. I think he went to shul a lot more often than I went to shul um prior to having to say kadesh. And he reached out to me I like a month or so into his u period of mourning and he said this is so grueling. This is just Did I tell you about this? >> No, you didn't. >> Okay. So he said to me, "This is just grueling. It's such a grind." And he says, "It's making me so miserable." And I can't understand why a loving God would do this. [snorts] And I I said to him, "Well, I don't know the answer, but I can tell you my personal experience, and that is I know for myself that my nature would be to isolate. And I'm I'm sure that that would lead to some type of depression. And the fact that I'm forced to get out, first of all, I I I I'm forced to structure my day and be up and be out and then secondly be among people even if I'm not enjoying it, but I'm around people. I said, I am positive that that has been incredibly helpful for my mental health. So there is I'm not saying this is like the reason for it like I'm not saying like oh uh kash is for health or you know whatever shabas is for rest >> by the way I think you can say that with this like I don't like it when people say yeah >> like I don't I agree with you >> mikvah will make your marriage better but with mourning yeah I think you can say that it's to comfort you >> yeah I think so >> yeah so definitely I feel like being forced to go lead the prayer prayers be in shul be there repeatedly multiple times a day is definitely healthy very very healthy because I know what I would do if if if not for this I didn't tell you about that >> no >> okay do you do you have a similar uh experience >> yeah I I I I I have the same experience like it's it's forcing me to be part of the community in a way that I'm I haven't been in the past. [clears throat] >> Um and I do think that it's probably really good for me, >> but specifically in the context of helping you through a tumultuous period of life where you've lost a parent. Not just being good for you in general, but being good for you like to help the the the grief or the >> Yeah. process. >> Well, cuz otherwise I would just be it would just be like feedback looping in in my basement. >> That's what I'm saying. I would be ruminating and Yeah. >> Well, I'll tell you something that's difficult for me. last year. The the Shaw that that I go to, the Bosento Shaw here in Pittsburgh, um it's a lovely little little community and um it's right across the street from our where our parents apartment was. >> Yeah. >> And so every day between Mka and Marv, I would go over and hang out with Ma. Um, and so now every day when I leave pretty usually when I leave Shaw when I'm walking out the door and looking at the the apartment building and it hits me every time >> that like for it it hits it it's started to stop a little bit for for a while every day it hit me was like oh maybe I should stop over after my and then like no no >> right so yeah obviously for you where our parents were living locally to you for a while. Like th those reminders are much more frequent for me. It was uh Tyel had a baby last week, >> Maz. >> And yeah, Maztov. And um it was just very weird for me that like I wanted to call our mother. I like I knew already that I can't call our father cuz that's been already a year. But I I like it was very strange because I was like ready to I I think I even had picked up the phone and was ready to call and it's like so weird like oh no like >> you could call her. I have her I have her phone here. >> By the way, I want you to give me points and appreciate give me credit. I have been so tempted to just use her phone to chime in on the family WhatsApp group. >> Oh, hi guys. >> Or just like just just to put hearts on things. >> Uhhuh. Yeah. Yeah, that would be in poor taste. I'm glad you >> would be. It would. Yeah, I I I understand that, but it's I'm not It's still very difficult for me not to do it. >> Okay. I'm glad you have her phone, by the way, cuz that's the two-factor authentication for her airlines miles, which I don't want to go to waste. So, I'm happy for you to use them. I don't need to use them, but somebody should use them. >> We'll figure that out. >> And I heard on Dan's deals that somebody and Dan actually chastised the guy. Somebody called up one of the airlines and was like, "Uh, could you help us get into my parents' uh airline uh miles because they passed away?" And they're like, "They passed away. We're canceling all the miles. >> Mhm. >> So Dan was like, "Why would you ever tell the airline?" Yeah. So there's some United miles there still. I think it's a good sign if Jews are feeling comfortable enough that we don't feel the [clears throat] knee-jerk need to keep information from authorities. I think it's a it's a sign that we're getting to a better place hopefully. Yeah, it seems like Yeah, like anti-semitism is a thing of the past and >> Yeah, >> thank God. Yeah, because you know in previous generations it was something you had to think about and nowadays it's like you hardly ever hear about it. Well, it depends. I mean, if you tell if you tell the robots that you want to hear about it, then you hear about it all the time. Luckily, I've trained the robots that I only want to see ridiculous things that have nothing to do with anything. telling me when you go on Twitter, you you don't open up that >> I don't go on Twitter anymore. >> Uhhuh. Yeah, that's basically what it is. The anti-semitism app. [laughter] >> Okay. All right. What else? What's on what's been on your mind? What What things are exciting you right now? I don't know. What have you learned from from paying attention to prayer? Or did you did you pretty much maxed out on that? >> Maxed out on that. I'm I'm I'm in this zone. I'm in autopilot mode now because I've been saying kish now for like 14 15 months and I'm pretty much Yeah. In the like the autopilot. >> I started doing a thing. Um I've been getting kind of a little bit slap happy and bored. Oh, I also got slap happy. I got to a point where I kind of get sarcastic a little bit with the with the prayers. >> Yeah. Um, >> is that what you're going to say? Like >> last year somebody sometimes I'll do not funny voices but like like very loud, very low. >> Yeah, I do that. Yeah. >> I'll do different things and somebody told me that they didn't appreciate it and they felt like this is something that this is these are words of prayer. They're holding. >> You're mocking the prayer. Well, you know what? You know, I'm trying to keep it interesting over here. >> Yeah. I mean, I I look, I think that person is right. I think that person who told me that is >> How silly are your voices? >> Um, they're not silly, but sometimes I'll go like as low as I can, like, you know, um, sometimes I'll be like really theatrical and big about it. >> Yeah, I do that. I do some hand motion sometimes because I I get bored. I got to keep it interesting. >> Um, but the thing I started doing recently and everybody just luckily the reaction afterwards was I started doing it a couple weeks ago and they're like, "Oh, mnas and you know, thank you for [laughter] >> they thought you were doing it for other." >> Yeah. So, the thing I was doing is when I would step step back at the end of cottage, I would start I would take really big steps. >> Yeah. like leaping backwards. >> Yeah. >> And and then I would try like I kept kept on trying to break my record and go further and further. [laughter] >> Uh >> it's not that big of a room. >> Um well different rooms. >> I had different opportunities to do it in different different shows. >> Mhm. >> And Shabas said that somewhere else and >> poor we had a big very big room. So I was able to >> and you jumped. >> Yeah. >> Oh, so the thing that I was noticing reason I started saying this before is the we talked about Volin before and and you know heretic blessing that does not bless heretics >> curses the heretics. >> Curses the heretics or more aptly it puts the heretics in a position of cursing themselves which is why that was added. >> Right? So they would they would turn around and get out of there. But one of the things I noticed about that braha is that there's correct me if I'm wrong. The word mahra like speedily immediately is in there I think three times. >> Really? I didn't notice that yet. Hold on a second. Let me open up my >> my sitter. or an Oh, your sitter app is in a book. Yeah. Okay. [sighs] Well,im and for the informers. Is that how you would translate malinim? >> Yeah, that makes sense. >> Ali, they should have >> they should have no tikva. They should have no hope. and all the heretics and all the wicked ones. They should immediately be obliterated. Is not mga is instantaneously and all the enemies of your people. They should be speedily cut offish and the evil kingdom me should quickly s be uprooted shab and broken and crushed and subdued speedily in our days. Okay. Three times. Blessed are you who breaks the enemies and subdues the wicked. So yeah, you have ma three times. >> Yeah. And I don't Does it Does that word appear in any of the rest of >> Yeah, >> it does. >> Um, yeah, I think one of the about mto. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. >> Yeah. is talking. >> Yeah. So there you have. >> Okay. So it does show up but not a lot. Certainly not three times in one. >> Well in so you have m also in >> okay so that we have expedience in our heretic blessing and also in our >> mikdash and msiach blessings. our Messiah blessings, but more we have more urgency in our our heretic blessing than in our >> Yeah. Triple triple triple urgency plus KGA, which is also an expression of urgency. So you have three times MA and one time KGA. >> Yeah. [clears throat] >> Yeah. A lot of urgency there. >> There's a lot of urgency >> to get rid of the wicket. [snorts] So what do you what's your insight about that? I just think it's very interesting as like an emotional theme for that braha that there's a lot of urgency in it. [snorts] >> That's it. >> Yeah, I that's as far as I got. I've just been noticing it is that it's a very it's a different tone. It's very urgent. Makes sense if you have to deal with a bunch of heretics getting youning you out all the time. >> Yeah. [sighs] It's not like, "Hey, Hashem, whenever you get around to it, these people uh take care of them." It's like, "Please get these guys off my back now." >> Yeah. So, based on the number of Mahas, it's more it should be more of a urgent priority than Mashiach. So, I think I'm going to change my language accordingly when like when I talk to people, but just instead of like, you know, chef now or whatever, I'm going to just say like a heretic should be destroyed now. End of a conversation. >> Yeah. Um, I was trying to think of a different way to do the joke. I didn't want to mess with Mich now because that phrase is was specifically has meaning that [clears throat] I explained, >> but I couldn't figure out a different way to do the joke. >> It's okay. Um, what what's go what's going on? Uh, what are you uh interested in, excited about, passion? I am currently working on a spher project. Finished, you know, permened and now I'm moving on to my pre pesak stuff and I'm doing a spher thing. This is what I'm trying to do and maybe it already exists already. I don't think it does, but maybe you can tell me because my thing is I want to say this in the most respectful and loving ways possible. There exists books about spheres. >> Yes. >> That go through each step of are awful. >> Well, I I >> I'm joking. I'm like you said, you want to say it as respectfully as possible. So, that's really that's your unfiltered thing. You think they're awful. You hate them. >> I don't think they're awful and I don't hate them. I think that that they have helped many many people. [snorts] >> I think they have left a gap that I particularly would would appreciate >> if there exist if a book existed would have filled that gap. >> Okay. Um one is >> you feel that they left you wanting. >> Yes. Well, so the challenge with any such project is that there's if you're going to map out each of the the 49 subm you know the Yeah. etc. >> Well, there is no more unless you want to do >> We're going to do all 49 now. >> No. By the way, it's 1:59 a.m. and we're about to spring forward. >> We're about to spring forward. You're you're >> I'm revealing the time that we're recording this. When What else do When else do think people think we're recording this? At some normal time. Kind >> of normal time. >> At 100 pm. >> Yeah. So yeah, so the the the problem is that um there are six myim that go through and then all of the rest of the you know the other 43 of them >> Yeah. >> or sorry 42 of them. >> Yeah. >> Um are very hard to find. like there's nothing that goes there's no one work one mimemer sika or whatever that goes through all of them >> right >> and so there are some works that extrapolate based on what we do what we know from other places >> and that's pretty much what we have and what irritates me is that there's there's some works that extrapolate then that they don't tell you when they're extrapolating so um I want to that what I'm trying to do is put and then also the other thing that these these books are missing is silly pictures which I will also put in my my thing. >> Yes. >> So >> So I'm I'm what I'm I'm trying to do is make a beastiary. A sphere beastiary. >> I don't know what that is. >> You don't know what a beastiary is? >> I don't know what a beastiary is. No, >> it's a book of animals. >> Is that a real word? >> Yeah. Look it up. >> Beastiary. I know. Like a managerie. Like the glass menagerie. That's when you have actual phys a collection of physical animals. >> No, they're glass. The glass menagerie. >> They're still physical. >> They are physical. What's a beastiary? >> A book. >> A book about it. >> A book that catalogs animals. >> It's 3:00 a.m. by the [clears throat] way. Not really, but artificially 3:00 a.m. >> Every time is artificial. >> True. Um, so Beastiary is like a book about uh animals. By the way, can I tell you something? I had a thought the other day. I think I actually even told one of my kids this. I said if I had $10 million, >> I would use 10. It would have to be 10 million. Any less I would not do this. But I would allocate a certain amount of funds. >> I told my Yeah, I told I forget which kid I told. must have been one of my kids because I said Feter David who's how they refer to you. I said I would give money to Feter David to create a Torah cryptozoy museum to be the curator of it. >> Um yeah, that that would be really really cool. I don't think a lot of people know that you and I visited a cryptozoolology museum [clears throat] many years ago, probably 30 years ago, and that that was later the basis for a large um plot point in Quest for Fish. >> It was >> and for a character Jeffrey Juan Delatiste, the cryptozoolologist. >> Yeah. You remember the joke that the curator of the cryptozoolology museum told us? >> We asked him about the yeti, >> right? >> And he said, "You're welcome to do it. >> The Yeti has yeti to have been discovered." >> Yeah. Hilarious cryptozoolology joke. >> Yeah. >> He had the museum in his garage. >> Yeah, he did. Yeah. And I remember one whole exhibit were weird Polaroid photos of OJ Simpson's house on Bundy Avenue in Brentwood. >> Do you remember this? >> No. >> And supposed images of ghosts in the trees. >> Interesting. >> Right. >> Are ghosts part of cryptozoolology? >> It depends how liberally you define cryptozoolology. >> Were they dear ghosts? Ghost de gear? >> Maybe they were. Yeah. Yeah. or not in the trees. They would have to be like owl ghosts. >> Um, so you you want to make a sphere beiary? >> Yeah. >> Okay. You mean like is considered like one of the animals? >> Yeah. Yeah. So each there's there's 49, but I think there's actually going to be 98 different creatures in this beastary. >> Okay. Because what? One for the nephas, one for the neilikis or what? >> Yes. Yeah, that's the plan. >> I did a project in the past where where I I drew pictures of the different mid and >> I remember that. >> Yeah. And I had each I had a little dude for each for each mida and then for the combinations it was like the was theor guy doing something for the guy. Right. >> Right. Predictable. >> What? But what do you mean predictable? >> Of course, the Kassid guy is doing something nice for some other guy. >> Well, no. I Well, I if it's I it didn't get that specific, but really technically it should have been the doing something on behalf of the guy. If that's if it's Anyways, the point is that there was two different dudes. Right. Right. >> And it combined them. And now, >> but let me guess here. You decided no is not two guys interacting. It's one guy. >> Yeah. with a complex yes mixture of traits. >> Yes. Do you think that that's more accurate? >> Yes. >> Yeah. So it's it's its own thing. Um but then I think that is going to look pretty almost identical. This is my plan. Gurass of is going to look identical to the of the except for the gurass of is going to have hooves. That's my plan. >> Okay. >> And and then the tell me if I understand the aid correctly. This is what I think our our job is based on is to uh to purify the the traits of the Nephamus through the traits of Nefilikis. Is that it basically? >> Okay. >> Is that the idea? >> So there's but there's different ways I can understand what that means. >> A lot of different ways. Does it mean if you're that the trait of the neahus? Are you trying to This is so boring. I'm just going to stop. >> You're boring yourself. >> I feel like I'm boring everyone. Anyone who's listening, >> nobody's listening, [laughter] >> so I don't have to worry about it. >> They tuned out the second you said Beast Jerry. There's only one guy. There's a super David Tab fan, [laughter] but he already started making his own Beast Jerry, so he's not even listening. This is background music for him. >> As soon as I mentioned it, he's ripping me off. I don't like this fan that I have. >> You ever meet your fans? >> Yeah. Is that a rule? >> No. I'm I'm wondering if you ever met any of >> Oh, I thought you said never meet your fans. No, I said >> there's a thing, never meet your heroes. And I think it's really funny for a hero to many to say never meet your fans. >> Oh, that would be hilarious. That would be so obnoxious. You know, they say never meet your heroes. [laughter] But I want to tell you something. Hi, my name's Rubbish Ta, but I have a message for you. You know, they say never meet your heroes, but I want to tell you something that's even more disillusioning than that. Heartbreaking, in fact. >> Never meet your fans. Never never meet your fans. No, I said, did you ever meet any of your fans? >> And I don't mean people that you know in real life and and are your fans. I mean someone you have no previous context for and they introduce themselves to you as a fan. Yes. Yes, I have had that. The the most fun example of that is not is not experience that happened to me. It was [snorts] the experience that happened to my friend Jonno um who co-created the Jiguzi show with me. He was in Thailand on a trip with a a different friend and uh he was smoozing in the airport in Thailand with with some Jewish family and somehow they figured out that he was Jonno and they got really excited. >> Yes. >> Oh my gosh, that's crazy. That's that's a wild story. Wow. Okay. So, we're going to be on the lookout for your spiriary and uh >> I I'll have to ask you more more uh advice about it >> later when we're not boring people. >> Yeah. >> I told you before about the George went thing, right? George went uh passed away by the way. You know that? >> I didn't know that. >> Yeah, he did. Um, George went I don't know if he's originally from Chicago. I assume he is, but he definitely lived in Chicago when he was with the second city. And I remember one time I think it was he was being interviewed by Bob Kostas and he said that he had an experience once. He was I think when he was with the Second City and they were doing improv. They said somebody shouts out. A heckler from the audience shouts out, "You're boring people." >> You have told me that. I think you've told this on Blood Brothers before. Go on. >> Okay. Cuz I find it enthralling. I think about it all the [laughter] time. He said what plagued him was not the insult, but that he couldn't parse the sentence. Was the heckler saying, "You're boring people." Like you guys, you people are people who are boring. You're boring people. Okay. Or was he saying you're boring, people like calling us people and saying you're boring. >> Okay. Or was he saying you are boring people? People being being the direct object. You're boring >> to the people. People are being caused to be bored because of you. So there's three different ways to parse that. I may be elaborating beyond what he said, but that's how I remember it. >> So, yeah, I think we're doing all three right now. Boring people. [snorts] Okay, if you're bored right now and you're still with us, please leave a comment below saying that you are bored or not bored. If you're if you're not bored, >> then you got to this point in the program, please, >> if you got to this point and you're not bored, please leave us a message saying that you're not bored. >> Yeah. >> Or actually, we would like you to please rate your level of interest on a on a scale of 1 to 10. If you're super engaged, like 10 right now, like >> if your device that you're watching on ran out of battery, you would go plug it back in to be able to continue watching until the end. That's be like a 10. If you are so bored right now, I mean, you would have clicked away, but like it like if you are in pain from watching this, put a one. Okay. So, super bored is a one, enthralled is a 10. Rate it on a scale from 1 to 10 how bored you are right now. >> Yeah. >> Can I tell you about this? Has nothing to do with anything. It's just something I thought of because you were talking about rating things one to 10 and it got me thinking about forms and it reminded me I just figured out a life hack that has changed my life. >> Yeah. What's your life hack? >> I when I go to the the doctor they take take a kid to a doctor's appointment. >> Oh, they have the smiley face. Also with the bathrooms in the airport, you have to rate it if you felt it was a positive experience. >> That disgusting iPad that's that's that's teeming with bacteria that you're supposed to Tap the smiley face. Is that what you're talking about? >> I don't know about smiley faces, but every time I go take a kid to a doctor's appointment, I have to fill out either on a on a crusty iPad or on a clipboard, take them to the dentist, there's pages of forms to fill out. And I >> talking about the regular intake forms. >> Regular intake form. But there every single time I've like they know my the family history. They don't they don't need it, >> right? >> And forms are are like are really upsetting for me. I'm >> I hate forms. Oh, I hate forms. >> So, uh I figured out something that's just life-changing. >> What? take to the appointment. We walk in, they hand me they try to hand me the clipboard and I say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I don't f I don't do forms." >> Okay. >> And that's it. >> Really? >> Yes. It worked. >> They just >> It worked. It's worked multiple times. >> Multiple times. >> Yes. >> Did they give you a cross look? >> No. They were surprised and taken aback, but then this past time the the the person said, "Oh, okay. Um, are you are you able to give me are you allowed to give a signature? I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, I can give you a sign. I can sign anything you want. I'll sign everything. Just uh I don't want to figure anything out." And then that was it. She just told me where to sign. >> Okay. You see, keep keep pushing your luck. See how low Okay. I I hope it continues to work for you. I think you were I think you were unusually lucky and there Yeah, that might >> might have been an anomaly. Yeah, but go ahead. >> I [snorts] am going to keep on doing it. I've only been encouraged. >> Okay. Um, what else do you want to share with uh with your fans >> or your fans >> or with my fans >> channel? what I want to share with your fans who I who you never want to meet. Um, >> yeah, I I don't know. I'm I'm all I'm all out of everything. Do you have any any any insights or wisdom? I really don't. I I it's Yeah, I'm just going to minion three times a day and just surviving. That's about it. I don't know. >> Keep them busy. Got my projects going, but >> I don't have any deep thoughts right now. >> And I'm and and I and I can't be too funny cuz the context of this, you know, I am cognizant of the fact that we're doing this because of [snorts] mourning. So, I feel like >> Oh, you holding yourself back from murder? >> Yeah. Yeah, I definitely been holding my Well, yes, I I'm definitely feeling a little bit restrained from being overly uh whimsical. Yes, >> I'm I don't want to be Yeah, I'm I'm holding back on the levity. >> I do not feel any such any such uh >> restriction. >> No, you know that I squirted people with a with a >> I know at Chiva. >> I know. I know. And I whatever. You don't understand. >> I I don't understand it. I feel like I actually felt like it was like abuse. I'm sorry. You're the sweetest guy in the world. But I felt Do you want to tell my fans what you did? >> Your fans. >> Yeah. >> Tell them what you did and let them comment below if they feel it was I think it was abusive. >> Okay. It was all right. >> I think you're the sweetest guy in the world, but I think that was abusive. >> All right. So we this was I I won't mention any names because you just said it's abusive. So I won't mention any names to get anybody else in trouble, but there was several family members at Shiva. We did the split Shiva where we started everybody in Chicago and then we went off in the middle of the week and and went to our respective homes. And when we were all together, there were several of us. you I do not think were part of this conversation, but we all were uh playing toying around with different different ideas of how to deal with with uh just how to have some some fun with the Shiva situation. And we came up with this idea and the idea is anytime somebody comes and says the the uh the traditional, right, that's the line you're supposed to say to the mourner. Um, and then you squirt them with a with a a squirt gun was the original idea. Then of course it had it couldn't be a squirt gun because >> Where did that even come from? Someone says to you words of consolation, you shoot them with a squirt gun. >> We There was a lot of We were workshopping a lot of different >> Were you trying to come up with the most inappropriate thing? >> No. No. We had We had a lot of different ideas we're toying around with. Um, and then we got we got to that one and um it couldn't be a squirt gun because our mother never allowed us to play with guns, >> right? >> So, it had to be a squirt uh toy of some sort. >> Right. I remember I had a little dolphin. >> Yeah. I also used the same dolphin. >> Yeah. >> You did not play You did not live in the era of Super Soakers, >> right? I was before Super Soers. I remember like like block uh all the kids on the block doing a a water gun fight and they're >> and you had your little dolphin. You're getting creamed. >> Yes. >> Um >> yeah. So it had to be a squirt toy, an ineffective squirt toy. >> Also I somebody else figured out uh that they should be given a choice. And I think this is the real crux of it. They should say, >> you know, it was really confusing for me that on one hand, our mother would not allow us to even have a squirt gun because it's the shape of a gun. The other hand, our father was showing me Charles Bronson Death Wish shooting people in the face. How did I reconcile that? >> That's the the two two halves of a hole. >> Yeah. Um, yeah. So, the deal was people would would would come for me and I would tell them before you do it, you have a choice. Basically, when you when soon as you finish, I'm going to squirt you. You don't have to say it. You don't have to say it. >> What do you mean you don't have to? They're hologically bound to say it. That's what they have to say. >> If a tells you they don't want you to say it, do you have to? I don't. Are you hollocally bound to? It's >> But you didn't tell them you don't want them to say it. You told them, "Go ahead and say it." >> I don't think you're bound to I think there's a custom. I think that you've done the mitzvah of of even without it. >> Okay. At any rate, this it's it's I I You're such a sweetheart. Not only is it abusive, it almost sounds like I don't want to say this, but it sounds like like something like an anti-semite would do. like go to a Shiva and be like, "If you say the Jewish words of consolation, you could say it or not say it, but if you say it, we're going to degrade you by wording you." >> There were there were people I tried to make it be that I I wanted it to have the appearance that I made no exceptions, but there were definitely people who I could tell were not going to like this and or were there no there were people who I could tell didn't like it, but I did it anyways. But there were people I could tell would really be upset by it that I found a way for it not to happen. >> I think most people would be upset by being squirted with a squirt >> and not get that impression. I felt like most people found it to be a refreshing moment of levity in a otherwise dark situation. >> Okay. [snorts] And so >> you could do a survey with the people who I squirted and ask them if they felt abused. >> They're not going to say it. They're not going to be honest, >> but >> because they're your friends >> or they're friendly enough with you that they came to comfort you during Shiva. >> I think I think most people were entertained by it. Not at other people's expense. I wouldn't want to do something entertain. [laughter] >> Not at other people's expense. That's the whole joke. Okay. All right. >> That's not the whole joke. It's a It's an intimate moment between me and the person that I'm squirting. [gasps] >> Okay. All right. So, leave a comment below if you feel that that was abusive or demeaning or mean-spirited. You have to understand my my my brother David is one of the sweetest guys of the world. He's so careful not to hurt people. He's really really sensitive to other people. I don't know why he came up with I I comment below if I'm overreacting or I'm mischaracterizing this. >> I think people the people who experienced it, I think they they they enjoyed it. >> Okay. Did you Did you snip their tie also? >> No, that would do permanent damage. >> Okay. Do you smush a whipped cream pie in their face? >> I didn't have that. >> But would you have Have you had it? >> No. No. Because that's >> too hard to clean up. Too >> inconven messy. >> But a squirt from a squirt gun. What did you have? A squirt gun? >> No. A little fire extinguisher. A little plastic squirt fire extinguisher. Mhm. Because you still feel that you're not allowed to have squirt guns. >> Absolutely. And it took me a long time on Amazon to find something that I could get >> that wasn't a weapon. >> It wasn't a weapon. Absolutely. It would have been I could not have done that at my mother. Shiva have a gun. No way. >> Right. Would have been >> also pointing a gun at a Jew. I not gonna or any human being for that matter. >> All right. So, but squirting them in the face with a with a fire extinguisher to debase and demean them. That's >> who you're if maybe if you did it, you would be attempting to debase and demean them, that was not in any way [clears throat] my intention. >> I can't think of a way of squirting someone with a toy fire extinguisher in a way that would bring them um a feeling of of respect. So me and my daughter were at the eye doctor the other day and while we're waiting for the eye doctor my this is uh the day before Pum during tennis and my daughter mentioned I don't know how it came up cuz we were like perm stuff and she said like clowns I she said I don't like clowns clowns are scary to me I'm like yes clowns are scary to everybody nobody likes clowns she's like no but people think clowns are like the funniest things they love clowns I said no everybody hates clowns everyone's terrified by clowns I don't know why why they still are a pervasive part of of our culture. [snorts] And uh then the eye doctor walked in and I said, "What do you think about clowns? You you don't like clowns, right?" He said, "I love clowns. >> We have a clown costume in our house. We use it for perm many times, many years. So there are people who who do enjoy clowns and clown. >> This is to this is answering your question. I can't think of anybody who would enjoy that. But there are people who enjoy clownery. >> Yeah, like Pogo the clown. >> Who is Pogo the clown? >> John Wayne Gayy. >> Obviously, >> did I once traumatize you by sending you a Gayy painting and not telling you who it was? >> Yes. Yes. And I I I it was not very far after like it was maybe a couple of days after you sent me the Hitler painting. >> The what painting? >> The Hitler painting. >> Oh, the Hitler painting. Yeah. I sent you [laughter] I sent you one of Hitler's paintings. I said, "How do you like this?" You're like, "It's okay." I'm like, "Great. You just like the painting by Hitler." Yeah. [laughter] Right. And then you did it again. >> And then a couple days later, I sent you a John Wayne Gasey painting. >> Yes. Like, how is this? Okay, whatever. Yeah, you just like the John Wayne Gayy painting. >> Yeah, this is not like just so you're >> by the way, I think that's a lot cruer than squirting someone with a fire extinguisher. So, >> who am I to tell you who are you to judge? >> You're abusive when I psychologically tormented you [laughter] >> by sending you. Look, was your goal to uh to give give me joy and happiness? [laughter] >> I'm going to try to be super honest. I'm going to search >> No, hold on a second. I'm going to search my heart. >> Yeah, >> I'm going to be totally honest with you. My My I wanted you to be in on the joke after. Like I wanted you to also be able to laugh, but there was a certain thrill. >> Oh, playing the joke on me. [laughter] >> Playing a little bit of a of a joke on you. Yeah. >> Yeah. [clears throat] Yeah. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Okay. So, maybe I was wrong. Maybe everybody hated being squirted. But I I was not trying to make everybody go through something that they hated. >> Okay. So, what I did was far worse. >> Yes. me. That's >> Please comment below. What do you think is more demeaning? What is more mean-spirited? >> Squirting somebody with a toy fire extinguisher or studying them >> a painting by a terrible >> monster of a human being. >> Yeah. [sighs] But I also think, okay, whatever. The painting thing has a certain intelligence to it because the squirting with the fire extinguisher is now getting down to it. Your problem was not that it was >> buffoonery. No, I I feel like it's not smart enough to justify the abusiveness. If it were a little bit more intelligent >> then [laughter] because it was buffoonery. the thing sending you the the gasey painting was a little bit more sophisticated. There was like it was it was >> right. So if you're smart enough then it justifies doing bad things. >> Yeah. [snorts] [sighs] Okay. Anything else you want to tell the two people who are still watching? You're boring people. [laughter] >> I hope it's only two people left at this point. >> Yeah. If you made it to the end, please comment below. It's going to be one guy who comments 20 times. >> Well, yeah, because he keeps getting getting to each each uh goalpost. >> Yeah. >> And he's going to keep the winner. >> He's going to be I think he's going to be very disillusioned by both of us by the end. Yeah. And then we'll make sure never to meet him. [laughter] >> For his good and ours. >> Yes. >> Okay. >> All right. I think that's I think we've we've uh >> I think we've covered everything. >> I think we've covered everything >> for now. >> Okay. >> All right. Is that it? >> Thank you so much. Yeah. I'm gonna Yeah, we're going to end it. >> Thank you very much.