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Git Gelt Episode 5: Drowning in Debt? A Step-by-Step Guide to Financial Freedom
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In this episode of GitGelt, Chaim Ekstein sits down with Sholom Friedmann to discuss the story of a person burdened by overwhelming debt. Together, they explore the root causes of his financial struggles, offer practical strategies for regaining control, and discuss the mindset shifts necessary for long-term success. Whether you're facing debt yourself or simply want to understand how to navigate tough financial situations, this conversation is packed with valuable insights and actionable advice.
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Transcript
Auto-generated transcript. Not time-synced to the video.
I got to tell you something every week I
see you you look with a week
younger you to know that my husband has
no idea where he's going to pay the
money back from but we have to be very
careful because there's a lot of
scammers in this industry you know
whatever you put your mind to wherever
you call success wherever it is that you
want to accomplish if you put your mind
to it and then not only put your mind to
it you get emotionally involved you get
emotionally involved how do you get
emotionally involved either by
contacting professionals with the a
strategy how you're going to manage your
debt either by start to pay off whatever
you can by the way it's the same thing
the same idea with finishing Shas I I
know that this is how you do it you
[Music]
know good morning we're on good to see
you how are you I'm doing very good how
you
doing I woke up this morning I got to
tell you something every week I see you
you look with a week
younger I appreciate that I still have
to find out the secret
yeah and when I when I know what the
secret is all that you
know good so what are we gonna talk
about
today you know I'm open I you tell me
and let's let's just I think we should
address one of the questions that came
in okay I think it's something I like
you know when questions come in man I
like to choose the questions that I have
uh that I see I think most more the more
people will appreciate listening to it
and it can be relevant to many people so
this is basically how I I choose my the
questions to answer so um a question
that came in that I think we should
address a person has a lot of debt I
think he wrote like $200,000 in debt and
he's earning $150,000 of income and he
tried many businesses before and he
failed and and this is basically how he
accumulated so much death and he loves
the idea of reverse budgeting that we
spoke about he loves all the ideas we
speak about he loves but his challenge
is if he starts now he has such a such a
big hole to to to fill up underground
that he has to build before he he can
even make it happen so where where does
he start and I understand that he's not
in the he's not in a situation that he
can save too much anyway so you know
where does he start and it's so easy
of question yeah until here's the
question I think it's so easy for such a
person to fall into a certain mindset no
for me it's never going to happen
whatever I do is not going to be good
anyway so why don't I just give up so I
think we should address that
question yeah it's it's a it's I I I I
very much empathize with that situation
I've been there myself and it's it's
it's a it's it's definitely in when
you're in that moment when you're in
that when you're experiencing that it's
very difficult to see a way out but you
know as you have said and I personally
have experienced there's always a way
out let's hear what your thoughts are on
how do we identify that way out what
what what do you have to say about that
right but first of all I don't know if
the person asking the question is an
entrepreneur or an
employee um I know you are you know
you're you're an entrepreneur so
sometimes it could be easier for an
entrepreneur to have the mindset yeah
I'm going to go out one day I'll find a
new idea I'll find a new adventure I'll
find something to make a deal if you're
an entrepreneur and you always do deals
you always make things happen it's it's
that something should happen in your
life that will give you a windfall like
a big sum of money and it should give
you a push ahead but somebody is an
employee working from for VES and you
know even if he's going to get a bonus
like khek you know what is it it's not
going to help him too much he needs he
needs like a big uh push something big
to happen in order for it for it to work
as long as he's going to stay as an as
an employee so I think you know I don't
know the situation of the person asking
the question but I think we should
address it in a way that even employees
should have a certain way of thinking or
a certain uh idea that maybe will help
them down the roads okay um Okay so I
want to talk about Credit First the
thing is I have no idea the person
didn't give me the details what kind of
debt he has he only sure that he has
$200,000 in debt I don't know if it's
with creditors or with it it's personal
friends or family uh credit cards uh
banks financial institutions I don't
know what which which what type of debt
he was referring to but I think I'm
talking specifically about credit so
many people are
afraid to have late payments on the
credit or have any negative items on the
credit reports because and rightfully so
they they were they were trained and
they were thought or they were you know
what whatever reason they have this
mindset that you have to be very careful
with your credit and I'm all for it and
I speak in my book about it and I I I I
encourage people to to to be careful
with their credit the thing that we have
to understand is that we don't need the
good credit because the good credit is
an end goal it's only a to an end we
need credit in order to accomplish
certain other more important things like
if you ever want to buy a piece of
property if you ever want to borrow
money I'm talking about healthy loans
for your business to expand your
business ETA Etc you need to build
credit for these reasons sometimes you
need it for in case of an emergency
whatever the situation is but the credit
is not something it's not like Aur by
itself I need credit because it need to
have good credit now I never suggest
somebody to borrow money that they can't
afford to to to repay but sometimes you
have to understand if you got into a
situation that you took credit for
whatever reason you took credit and now
you're in a situation that you have such
a big hole that you that you that that
you feel that you're you know stuck in
and and you have let's say a few 00,000
in debt paying crazy amount of interest
and no way that you should be able to
get out of it you have to understand
there's certain laws in the country
protecting you the the starting from
from making settlements with creditors
or from filing bankruptcy you know some
people when they hear the word filing
bankruptcy oh no it's not me I don't
want to F Banky I agree with you you
should try to avoid it but I don't agree
with you that you should try to avoid it
at all cost there is a certain cost that
it makes sense for somebody to take a
deep look on his credit does it really
make sense for me for me not for the
Creditor you know stop you know Chase
made enough money off you now you have
to look on
you if I'm not going to do something
dramatic I'm not going to afford
marrying off my children I'm not going
to have any retirement I'm not going to
be able to you know it's it my income
instead of saving it goes to pay the
credit cards and and and you know maybe
it's going to take me another I don't
know how many years to get out of this
hole that a dick for myself so maybe you
have to take a a closer look if it makes
sense to maybe give up on your credit
and it's going to come back you wait a
few years you have credit back but for
now maybe you should say I get
toct let me make a new start reminds me
of the story there was a guy that was
that owed $50,000 for somebody you know
let's call him Ruben so Ruben ow owed
$50,000 for Shimon in the middle of the
night his wife wakes up and he sees
Ruben can't sleep he's turning from one
side to the other you know doesn't know
what to do she asked him Ruben what's
going on with you why can't you sleep
and he said you know I tell you honestly
I I have to pay back shim on tomato
$50,000 I have no idea where to take the
money from I don't have the money so the
wife said what's the what's the phone
number for
shiman so he gave her the phone number
and she starts dialing 2 o'clock in the
morning he said what are you doing why
why are you you waking him up he said
don't worry so she calls and Shimon
picks up the phone like half asleep yeah
hello and he said she says yeah this is
the wife of Ruben calling yeah why are
you calling me in middle of the night he
said because she said because I want I
want you to know that my husband has no
idea where he's going to pay the money
back from and you should know that it's
not coming
tomorrow and then she puts down the
phone and then she tells even now you
can't go back to sleep now Shimon is not
sleeping so yeah and there's a moral to
that story
we we we tend to feel guilty you know at
the end of the day the community that
we're we're talking to we're raised to
to at the end of the day be honest
people we we we we and we feel guilty
when we can't fulfill our obligations
but I think it makes it easier to
understand when you're talking
particularly about credit where credit
isn't a one-sided street it's not like
the bank did me a favor and gave me
money and now I have to feel guilty if I
can't manage to to fulfill the terms
credits it's a it's a a it's a um it's a
an arrangement or agreement between both
parties the same way that you know I
took a risk by borrowing the money
assuming I'm going to pay it back the
bank also took a risk by making the
money available and and inducing us with
all types of of um of of marketing and
so on you know they're also taking a
risk so it's to it's it's to feel guilty
I think is perhaps something we have to
get past and maybe that's what you're
addressing but we have to recognize that
this was an agreement between both of us
and we both agreed we're going to do our
best and the bank also understands and
and therefore you have these mechanisms
in place that allow a person if they
simply can't afford it to use it and
feeling guilty about it and therefore
not taking advantage of these tools like
you said can be do more damage than it
can good at the end of the day it's an
agreement that both parties made and the
bank knew very well going into the deal
that I may not be able to pay back the
money I may have to claim bankruptcy I
may have to find some way to to cut out
the interest payments whatever it is but
to feel guilty we have to get pasted
because like you said that can be one of
the main distractions that hold us back
from moving
forward um yeah let me tell let me tell
you a few things on that trulum first of
all I want to make a disclaimer that
anything we're talking about is just
like Tu babatan talking everybody should
ask his own Rabbi what he's supposed to
do and not to do speaking we're not
going into that um but having said that
guilty first of all just between you and
me usually when I get a question from a
person like the the the person asking me
usually the bank already made a lot of
money from him let's just get that of
the let's just make that clear I don't
know how much they made I don't know how
many years this is going on but usually
they made some nice money off this guy
already but that's not the point the
point is first of all guilty why why
should you feel guilty you
know organized this world in such a way
that this is what happened to you and
you know it's over you tried your best
and you did you didn't get to it what
why should you feel guilty you know if
you feel guilty so many people don't
even want to try because they're afraid
they're going to feel guilty why feel
guilty you know even even Hashem
understands that that a person needs to
have a forgiveness once a year to clean
up everything and have a new start you
know I don't a lot of times
I and they have a tourist n Duram every
week every Friday morning they have a
tourist n Duram and you know in the
beginning I saw that and I was you know
I I started thinking can I trust these
people I don't know you
know any promise They're Gonna Make Me
by Friday morning it's going to be gone
I mean a best Cas scenario so so and
then but but the truth of the matter is
the reason we do a t before or what you
know everybody does according to their
custom it's because Hashem understands
no you make mistakes you tried your best
you made some promises but don't feel
guilty don't feel bad you know control
or delete let's start again okay but the
point is why should I feel guilty and
also the other thing is um whenever
somebody asks me something I'm should I
do this or not I usually answer by
what's the
alternative I never answer a question I
almost never answer a question when you
ask me a yes or no
I I I usually want to know A or
B and then we can have a very objective
conversation A or B what makes more more
sense yeah I Want A and B okay but in a
situation that you can't have both what
makes more sense A or B and the same
exact thing as in this situation you
bring me a situation of a person having
$200,000 in credit card
debt and you're asking me what's the
best you know what's the best strategy
to go with should I keep paying it or
not so let's discuss the alternative
paying the credit card that means maybe
not having money to to to to support
your
family paying the credit card that maybe
it means not not having money foras
which is included is supporting the
family it may mean that you you you
badly want to open a business and you
can't open it because you're in the red
or you know a whole list of things so I
have to understand what is the most
important thing for me now and all the
rest is secondary once you understand
that you know exactly what you want to
do and you
know as long as it's it's in compliance
with Al it's a compliance with with uh
with a whole bunch of other things that
could be factors in this conversation
but why not go and do it because this is
exactly the reason why you have the law
and you know some countries don't have
this this law so in America it's some if
somebody gets into such a situation he's
little is lucky that he can get out of
it in some places they can't in Israel
it's not so easy to get out of such a
situation for
example um so I think that's the right
approach right so so if I understand
correctly you're saying the first step
is to
identify what your priorities are what
what what you what you what you need
money
for and you know and then begin to think
about how to allocate your money so you
can can pay off debt but also be able to
move forward in life is is that what
you're recommending that would be best
if that's possible that would be best
but then you go to a different situation
because I what we discussed until now
was assuming that it's with uh with uh
Banks or creditors what is if it's you
know your family maybe your brother you
owe $200,000 for your brother he was
planning to put a down payment for a new
house with this $200,000 now you can
it's a different situation now you're
really in trouble and you have to have a
very honest conversation with you know a
open conversation with with the person
you owe the money listen this and this
is the situation and what I see most of
the cases not all of them but most of
the cases the worst thing that a person
can do is ignore it because then it it's
a whole you know it's a whole uh the
whole balagan starts you know you you're
not respons if you have an hon honest
conversation with a person that you owe
the money to and you tell them listen
this is the situation I needed the money
for this and this I had a this was the
but now I didn't didn't work out I'm
trying very hard to Hope very very soon
to be able to to give to pay you back
every penny in the
meantime please allow me to throw in
every month every week as much as
possible and I can tell you I've seen
people who have a lot of debt and they
went out of the situation by every week
or every month paying off some of it
then a tax return comes it you pay off
even more then you have a bonus you pay
off even more and then somebody gave you
a gift you pay off even more and other
people who don't do this because they're
waiting for me they're waiting for them
to have $200,000 to be able to pay it
off usually never pay it off and this is
where the trouble starts but there's
always a way out right I I I think what
you said don't don't ignore the
situation I think that's you know that's
extremely important but I would even
take it a step further
more than not ignoring it take ownership
over it you know take meaning you know
more than not ignoring be proactive
about how you're going to indeed address
this problem and and and and and take
ownership you know take the lead on it
and be proactive about coming up with a
solution now with that in mind I wanted
to ask you let's go back to the scenario
of it being credit card debt and as you
recommended it's important to identify
the priorities your financial priorities
and then begin to think about putting a
a strategy in place is there a tool or a
methodology that you recommend using to
in in order to to make that happen how
how would you recommend somebody you
know identify these these um Financial
priorities and create a strategy how do
you go about doing that so in order to
create a strategy you need to speak to a
professional I would never tell you to
to just go and do it and and and and
with no plan because the the the the the
loss can be more than the gain but you
know maybe speak to a lawyer maybe speak
to other professionals but we have to be
very careful because there's a lot of
scammers in this industry a lot of
scammers who will tell yeah come to me
give me $20,000 and I will just you know
if something if you don't have
references and you don't know that
you're speaking to somebody who is
really capable and knows what they're
doing and and they can really help you
stay away from them but there are there
are professionals who know what they do
and sometimes it cost money but the C
that you're going to pay them is going
to be less probably than the $200,000
plus all the interest that you're going
to end up paying over time but I'll tell
you this if you put your mind to it one
of the benefits of putting like going
back to somebody who owes for a personal
friend or family money if you put your
mind to paying it off you know $1 at a
at a time $20 $100,000 as much as you
can usually what end up what ends up
happening is your brain becomes wired
and Focus like an antenna goes up that
you need to attract another $20 another
,000 another $10,000 because you want to
pay off this person and then all of a
sudden somebody comes to you and tells
you could you help me with you know I
know you have expertise in this and this
software and we need this for my
business would you be able to come in in
the evening hours or on Sundays and and
and and help me put this together for my
company and I'll give you an extra
$5,000 you know is maybe without the the
the the consistency and the awareness
you would say no because I don't have
the time but now maybe you're going to
start thinking oh oh another $5,000 off
from the debt wow that's a good idea let
me do it and it's only because you put
your your brain into action and and and
and to pay off for the person that's why
you're attracting ideas like that and
opportunities like that so it is
important for both reasons number one
that the person should see that you're
working with them and number too because
you might end up paying it off faster
this way in
actuality it sounds to me like what
you're saying is that the same
way in order for us to be successful in
business we need to create an
environment that triggers us to be
passionate about earning money you know
get rid of the furniture whatever you
have to do to to to engage that passion
and drive you can engage the same
passion and drive when it comes to
paying off debt if you if you really
take ownership over it and you really
feel that you want to make this happen
the same tools that you can trigger to
make money you can trigger to pay back
money as well is that right absolutely
but I gotta tell you sh you scared me
now I I I have to come to your house now
because you're bringing it up so many
times I'm almost sure that you got rid
of your furniture
now ask my wife I don't know what to
think I I'm afraid to call your wife
leave my walls are be you should better
get new furniture ASAP or you're going
to have another you know another another
one of your problems than whom to
blame but yeah you're right but having
said that I I do think I just I think
this point is really important for you
to to state clearly that because I want
to make sure I understand this but we
can become just as passionate and driven
about paying off debt that we can be
about making money you know the same
passion and drive can help us to get out
of debt
absolutely absolutely you know whatever
you put your mind to wherever you call
success wherever it is that you want to
accomplish if you put your mind to it
and then not only put your mind to it
you get emotionally
involved you get emotionally involved
how do you get emotionally involved
either by contacting professionals with
a a strategy how you're going to manage
your debt either by start to start to
pay off whatever you can every every uh
you by the way it's the same thing the
same idea with finishing Sha
I know that this is how you do it you
know when you want to finish what do you
do you start thinking about CH or you
start thinking about the
first i d
person so it's the same thing you D and
then you start taking AC action you
start ma without maai you can't even get
to the second W you need that W first
and I I I would like to just add to that
that there's an a built- an incentive
you know we when we think about making
money we get excited because we know at
the end of the day we're the benefit of
having that money is so worthwhile to
push me to want to really become
passionate and driven about earning a
lot of money I would go so far as to say
I I experienced this personally that if
when we put a plan in place to pay off
debt and we start doing it this we get
such a gmach from paying off that debt
that it's it gives us the adrenaline it
gives us the drive to want to continue
you know once you get started the same
way you start seeing money coming in
because you're doing well in business
bus and you want to do more once you
start paying off debt you get just as
driven and adrenaline fueled because of
the schach you feel from from being
released from that debt is is really a a
tremendous pleasurable a very
pleasurable feeling and it just and you
know you just have to do it and and it
starts happening and I think that's what
you're saying yeah and it's also it's
also that you get many successes a a
giant success is a combination of a lot
of many successes I remember once
driving to Montreal from New York to
Montreal it takes like 5 six hours to
drive and it I remember every time I saw
a sign how many mil has left until
Montreal it gave me a certain piece a
certain enjoyment oh okay so we passed
already that many miles you pass that
many miles so you have certain many
destinations many successes and if you
and that gives you courage and that
gives you
reaffirmation that you are on the right
P pacee you're on the right track you're
doing the right thing just keep going
push more push more and this by itself
as you said it gives you the power and
the to continue seeing that you succeed
nothing frustrates a person more than
working hard towards something and it
doesn't succeed in anything but if you
can create somehow some many successes
that's a GameChanger that's what that's
what's going to give you the to continue
until the end that's fantastic we can
all be that hero we can all be hopeful
and and confident and resilient and
optimistic we all have that um and you
know and and I think you know that that
that we we we we enjoy pleasure and I
think if we we like you're saying if we
just go forward get past the guilt get
past the avoidance and just take
ownership and start doing it will the
pleasure itself will become
self-motivating
galic Mo anything you want to add before
we
finish no I I I I I I think I I have
you've given me a lot to think about um
I need to kind of think further about it
so if I have more questions I think I'll
bring them up to you next week uh but
for the time being I think you know it's
it's if you you've offered a lot of
clarity and I and I I appreciate and I
just like I said I I I assume the
listeners also need a chances to kind of
absorb it yeah and I just want to remind
everybody if you want us to address your
question send the put it in the comment
section on YouTube or send an email or
leave a message on the phone line
whatever you listen to it and uh yeah
that's going to be it for today and I
have a wonderful week ahead fantastic
thank you
[Music]
look down the wisdom for your wealth