Gevurah of Chesed - Counting the Omer - "The effort to love..." - Rabbi Alon Anava

[Music] tonight we're going to be counting in a few minutes is love and gor is Judgment or restriction or any type of when do I stop something there are many ways to explain what gor is in general gor can be can be strange can be severity but the way how we want to relate with today with like I told you the entire week is about love this is the week of love and like I mentioned before that love is what what uh what gets us going through many many situations if you have love in your life you can survive many tough situations but unfortunately it's not so simple to love other people I can love a few people that are very close to me that are easy to love and a lot of the people in my life I don't really love them and sometimes because it's extremely hard to love them sometimes because I don't feel like loving them right now so the severity in love the the strength in love is the that I have to really work work hard to love another person this the word in Hebrew is m a lot of hard work to be able to love another person that's the m is like uh not strain but mamat is when you really work hard result effort result uh result no result will be more the uh it's not result I I I actually like more effort uh but even effort is not I'll give you an example mamat is if I have to move 20 lbs there's no mamat there ah easily I move it move 200 lbs that requires a lot of m a lot of a lot of pushing so effort is close uh result is that's the TOA so or resolve that can be another good way but take my analogy now that you have to push now 200 SS then you have to put a lot of M that's M hard work a lot of hard work and and and effort and so forth now to love somebody that it's very easy to love what's the big deal but when there's somebody in my life that I have to put a lot of effort that's already requires a lot of strength grit now grit grit gr yeah grit is another nice word of saying it I think we will we'll summarize it I like more the the effort effort and and the will but we'll go with effort because I really have to put a lot of effort to love a certain individual now persistence also I mean of course we can find many many different words but the idea is to take here is that some situations there a certain person that I need to develop love to and on a regular basis I'm like I don't feel like doing this right now I don't have the energy now to to put effort into this relationship right now but nevertheless the whole idea of is to learn how to develop the love to a person that I Don't Feel Like Loving or I don't want to love or I have nothing in common here and there's nothing here going on here but I still need to love that person now sometimes it's even harder because I have to re love another person that I don't get along with or even worse that the person did something bad to me then that's already taking you to the next level I can guarantee to you that every person in this room can easily now in their thoughts say oh yeah I know who he's talking about that person did something bad to me and sometimes it's extreme and I'm still required to love that person now how do I do that first of all I'm already telling you you are required to love that person this is a a requirement from the Torah you have to love every other person doesn't matter what the person did to you because even if the person did something bad to you he was just the messenger from hem he was just a stick that hit you told you the analogy many many times if you hit now a dog with a stick the dog will go after the stick the dog is not going to bite you he's going to bite the stick the dog doesn't understand that you the one who went with the stick and whipped him so even if somebody did something bad into my in my life I have to understand that that person is 100% the UPS messenger that came with a box he has nothing to do with me my issue is with me and hasem so how can I love another person that I really don't like because I have in my neish in my spirit in my soul the power to like another person now I have to love other people if I don't like other people the one who suffers from it the most is me not anybody else I will be the bitter one I will be the despressed one I will be the angry one I will be the one who doesn't go to the community event because I don't want to see someone and so over there so I have to understand that I have to love other people I don't telling you that you have to agree with people's political opinions or with their choice of music or how they dress that's not what I'm talking about we will never find a common nominator with everybody around me but I'm still required to love any other person and that requires a lot of effort or the word in Hebrew is M and all the words that you just threw now to the part effort now we were cleaning for p so when I came back from the states my wife told me I kept all the heavy things for you now must start moving the bookshelves bookshelves they're full of books well you you have to move it so you know what a strength What A M I had to do to push bookshelves now I can either take all the books down and move a few few dozens of kilos but then required a lot of strength and a lot of effort same thing here I have to understand that I have to love any other person around me specifically the ones who go against me and do bad things to me and again I don't have to agree with what they do I don't have to be their best friends but I definitely not allowed to hate them I need to love them where do we learn that is because think about how many times we get Hashem angry and he still loves us Hashem created the world with that's whatav says in 89 and it says the world was built with says even if you get me angry I still love you even if you go against me I still love you now in order for me to love somebody that is different from me that requires a lot of effort now it's not always the person who did something wrong to me look in our generation we just spoke about it before the class this show is ashkanazi this show is Safari this show is kabad this show is breast I don't like this show I don't like that show he said this he said that this is the level of of nonsense that we're dealing with on a daily base and you know the difference of opinions are there only for us to go above the difference of opinion and in our life we see it in if it's in the Torah world then we see how many opinions there are you know the the the famous joke with the guy who got stranded on a a deserted island and then 10 years later they found him on the island and he already build a lot of uh a lot of stuff in the in the in the island and they told him who's in this island well only me okay so he takes them on a tour and he tells this is the sh where I pray and across of it there's another sh say what is this sh well that show I'm never going into so yeah so our our life is constantly surrounded with people either the ones who go against us are the ones that are in my life by choice or by not by choice there's constantly going to be situation that I'm going to be standing in front of a person I'm required to love another person that I don't feel like liking him right now and it's going to take a lot of effort for me now to love that person now all the separations all the disagreements that we have amongst ourselves between groups between individuals between families they're only there to challenge me to see if I can go above this this chall about this disagreement it's very easy to fall into an argument that's why in our generation it's so bad because everybody's trying to solve situations with texting you can't solve an argument with text messaging you have a disagreement with somebody let's meet face to face there's a certain individual now that we're trying to work something he keeps texting me I tell him I don't want to text you I want to sit with you face to face that's that's how they used to do it for 5,000 years I don't want to text you you don't solve problems with texting but all these little disagreements that we have these little arguments sometimes it's big arguments whatever it is any type of argument a m a disagreement is only the challenge to see if I can go above it rise above it not to get swall swallowed into it I said this and then has to be a comeback and then I answer this and that's how all the arguments are you look at an argument between a husband and wife then H all it takes is the first person to say but you did this and this and I did what about you what you did the point is that all these disagreements is only to see if I can go rise above it now this is another important thing to do because we know that one of the most important things that the Torah is teaching me is called is that I have to love another fellow Jew this is in one level one thing that the Torah is teaching and many people don't apply it's about loving another human being not only a lot of people are stuck on no I only have to love another Jew okay that's very nice you're right we have to have is Isel means that I love another fellow Jew because most people when it comes toat Isel there's not not a lot of love there maybe fake love but not a real real love up until today I mean fresh into fresh I I came down from the plane about a week ago it's fresh I was in so many different communities in the United States and Sh still hate each oh no that sh I'm never going to go to the the ashkanazi no no no and how you hear people talk about other communities is like are you serious are you really serious 2019 you still this is what you're talking about so it's still amongst us in so many different ways and needless to say that we are required to have is but the Tora is also telling you you have to love every person it's called any human being he's a human being if hasem created him then you have to love that person so not if so what if he's not in the same faith that you are or the same race or the same color the Tor is requiring you you have to have any other person I'm not talking about loving our person wants to kill you a terrorist is wants to destroy you we're not required to love nasala and abum maen we're not required to love them but a normal human being that has nothing to do bad with me I am also required to love that even though he is in from a different Faith or he coming from a different group or whatever it is now practically saying because now we can go for two hours talking about how we have to love other people but we have to understand that the is to take that the love that I have and to put a lot of effort and to say how can I find the person that is in my life that I have to love practically saying is that you have to find a person that you don't really like this is your homework for today cuz you have another 24 hours now and then you want to apply it for the rest of the life you find now in your mind I know just by looking at everybody I can already see one person I so which one do I choose which one do I choose and how many do I do a day but you want to find one person that you don't really like or you dislike or that person did something not so good to you or whatever it is you already got the point and you have to put a lot of effort to find something positive in that person the Biblical term to it is called I can look at any person and right away put an X and say Thief liar cheat that's very easy to point the finger that's the easiest thing to do what we want to do is to look at any person and to move all these thoughts of judgment and how do I find something positive about any person has to be something positive in every individual in front of me now what I do is I what's called I find the good part in that person and I want to look at that person and just look at that good quality even though that person did something bad to me but he's still an amazing father that person did something bad to me but he's an amazing educator amazing husband he supports a lot of poor people whatever it is you find that person and you look what what's the good quality that person has and you're looking only on that good quality that person has and then you look for a place in your heart where you can love that person because of that good quality and to say if Hashem loves that person then so much more so I can love that person so I'm sure you're familiar with the term what says one of the most powerful pillars in the Torah a rule in the Torah but if you want to look at the term if I have to translate it means you have to love another person like you love yourself okay that's theat this is the simple explanation the more deeper explanation is that you should love your other fur person in front of you like how hasem loves that person Kam mean goes on how you love that person if Hashem is able to love any other person must be that I can also find that place where to love that person now I'm just looking out the external part of the person how he hurt me how I disagree with that person how that person is now ignoring me or avoiding me or or making me angry I have to remove this clut and say must be that that person has something amazing his kids love him his wife loves him half of the community that I can't stand they love him must be that that person has something there and to find in my heart the place you know what I can appreciate and adore or love that person for that little act that they do that's it don't have to develop too much love to the individual needless to say you want to avoid any type of hate or disagreement this is what's causing us to be in Exile the fact that we are separated it's called baseless hate so the most important thing you want to apply to take from today we're going to be in a few minutes praying and then Counting is to physically to practically apply it like I told you I'm going to repeat it again you find a person that you don't you not crazy about let's put it in other words or dislike or the person did something wrong to you and you don't like the person and you find in your heart the place where that person has something positive and that you can let go because the only one who suffers from the fact that I don't like another person I'm the only one who suffers needless to say if I hold Grudge or anger or Revenge venge or hate I'm the one who's suffering a lot of the diseases people have is because they hold inside of them so much hate towards another person so that person doesn't care like you said yesterday the person Cuts you in the street what you say with your father you think that person cares if you're upset or not he already he already drove off I'm holding the hate now so I'm the one who's suffering whether it's hate or jealousy or resentment or anything I'm the one who's suffering so at the end end of the day you're the one who's going to gain from that so again is to find the effort the power in me to sort to say force myself to find a way how I can love another person that there's no relationships between us you know the bov says you have to love a Jew even if you never met him ever again ever in your life how can I love somebody that never met because essentially we're all connected so not L him another person again the deficiency is in me because I got hurt because that person did something bad to me cuz he talked bad about me because he went against me so again it's the problem is the me not the other person so you have a little bit of homework to do because today we talked about two the point is not only to apply it today is to take the idea and you'll see throughout the seven weeks some things are not so relating to you some things are very much relating to you so it doesn't mean that you have to just focus every day on one thing if what we spoke about now relates to you now apply it every day in your life every day in your life when there's this neighbor that you can't stand and when you're walking out he smiles at you and usually you're like I wish you going to give I don't even want to say so then you start applying it in your life every day you see him in the morning you should be blessed you should have happiness in your heart trust me when you bless your enemy and the ones you hate I mean at the end of the day what you throw out to the universe it bounces back right at you so this is how we apply the we'll be able to develop this unconditional love to any human being around me that can benefit from my love I have to see how can the person benefit from me giving in or giving something to that person and ultimate the one ultimately the one who benefits the most is is you as us of course and needless to say that when we're going to focus on something more more broad here is that we are in Exile because of the second temple was destroyed from sin so we need to correct that part in order to receive excuse me yeah now we're also commemorating the death of the the 24,000 students of RAB AKA but on our general scope how you want to look at it yeah bet mdash was destroyed was because I hate another person for no reason so we need to reach to a tun to rectification that we are above that already I don't need to hate anybody and again like I told you you don't have to agree with every person you don't have to see eye to eye you'll never see eye to eye with every person and you'll never find a common nominator with everybody but you need to not hate the person and even more than that how can I love the good things that that person is doing must be that that person is doing something good CU Hashem loves him if hasem would not love him the person would not exist [Music]