Getting Inspired With Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky (Ep. 224)

hi this is damski and welcome to the ramski show whether you're watching with your friend with our friends your friends my friends all the friends over at tery time whoever you watch or listen to your podcast as always it's wonderful to have you along yeah it's wonderful to be here it's certainly a thrill I'd like to take you home with us like to take you home if you get the reference I was in elementary school when that came out but anyway um I I want to put this into a context what I want to talk about this week uh full disclosure this is pre-recorded the ramski show has been pre-recorded because I'm in America right now and I just finished the project Inspire convention and so I'm going to talk about the project Inspire convention which hasn't happened yet because uh uh because time is relative as Einstein has explained to [Laughter] us and I have relatives and they're never on time but uh but I I uh I I want to tell you based on my past experiences what I think but first and foremost we have a sponsor this episode and it is sponsored anonymously hi Rabbi we love your shuram and I love that you love my shorum I really do I cannot tell you this is it I have nothing in my life really at this point I don't have any jobs I don't go anywhere most of the day I just sit around and uh listen to people tell me how much they enjoy the podcast which takes about an hour out of my week and the rest of the time I just sit here and slowly slip into [Laughter] dementia thanks for the smiles and the kizik such a special gift to us all I can't tell you how much that means to me you should know that I know that I'm giving and I've told you this before there shapo said that anyone who could do anything today that gives people to do it and uh the fact that people get from this is really the most worthwhile thing I have may you and your family be blessed abundantly with much gratitude for all the and the smiles and and yeah those of you those of you who are really good doers out there I I I need a for ra b s and Miriam basa and mindel basa and I'll throw in Moshi Huda Ben Sima so you know like I say I'd like to make some i' like to make some kasas and uh you know see see I to me I I think it's a wonderful thing somebody told me what's the difference between chevas and gam and gam you get off on chabas I think that's a kind of negative attitude I love shabas I think it's it's a lot of fun parties could be better than that I'll tell you I'll tell you the opposite is not is not so much fun you know CL lost one of their greats not that long ago and Ales re Alta that was beloved by so many we Daven for him here on the show and uh he's just been a good friend and a tremendous thing and trust me SAS are much better than that you know I I told the story that when I went to him in the hospital you know he was he was fighting for his life and he grabs my hand and he holds with a grip and he says where's the podcast so people get from it that's important so I want to talk about the project Inspire convention now I can't really talk about this years like I say even though it had just finished but I wasn't there yet you know I'm recording this in advance but I was there a few years ago and uh I've had Theus to be there about three times I would have to say that it's the okay I I don't I haven't been to every uh event in the Jewish calendar I've been to a lot of them and I can tell you I think it's probably the most important if not I'll say one of the most important to cover myself events that clo has it's just so incred terbly inspiring first of all they they bring a lineup of the who's who of clausell and uh just to to see um the toret Giants who come to this event besides people like me you know and uh and and cast of others and there's not even enough time for everybody you know they had uh the last convention I was at they had uh yosf mendelovich he he he they barely had time for him you know they uh uh they had tovia singer I think he got one one session I mean he's he's one of one of the most brilliant advocates for uh for Judaism against the missionaries Etc so um uh it's just uh uh just an amazing amazing thing but I want to put what I think uh makes project Inspire so important into a context and I'll tell you a story um I was the loyal director of ncsy for years um I took over a region that was worse than non-existent because when something is a totally non-existent it's a blank slate you can basically do whatever you want that's always interesting when you see a new Yeshiva starts or a new Seminary starts you don't really know what it is and I'm always is amazed that people go to a brand new Seminary or a brand new Yeshiva and the people are recruiting say different things to different people yeah there are times that uh people start off with an image of making a particular type of Yu Seminary and based on the people they attract it's a completely different one uh what do you do you know you uh you teach the ones that come you deal with whoever it is so uh so that's the situation but um uh I when I took over Li nsy they had gone through five directors in two years now there's no better way to destroy your credibility than to have somebody come in and say I'm the new director and he goes around to a bunch of shs and he introduces himself and he says we're going to be making activities and he goes to one one sh and they PL A shabbaton and A month later he's going and another guy comes in and he says I'm the director and we're going meets with all the people Etc and you go through five of these in two years so the time I walked in it it wasn't just that there was nobody left in the region but it was The credibility was less than nothing because okay here comes another one and uh makes it that much more difficult so uh so I understood early on I was lucky I was lucky in that I got to uh start in ncsy by running a chapter um in Los Angeles and so I learned uh how to build the organization from the beginning and I was also an adviser to shabbaton you know I I had the opportunity to work with kids in that context so I got to see what it is to be a chapter advisor and a regular adviser and I got to understand the organization also when I was tricked into taking my first chapter I really knew nothing about ncsy and I went down to uh the West Coast office and it was one of the more developed regions at least when I was there 1978 Lee Samson was the uh OU director he had started as the ncsy Director and he built it up to the point that it was uh also became a region of the OU so he was dealing with the adult programming and he hired someone to do the ncsy programming and that was the one who tricked me into taking a chapter and then shortly after that he quit so I had this job and had no idea what was going on so Lee Samson was filling in as Regional director but he had all of the responsibilities of the adults it was pretty tough so I'm coming into an organization I know nothing about it and I have nobody to teach me so I go down to regional office and I did something that I found out later that nobody had done I read through everything every piece of paper that I could find every file every form of booklet every program that ever been made I didn't realize that this made me the second most knowledgeable person of West Coast n csy the first was Lee Samson and the second one was me because everybody flies by the seats of their pants nobody really knows what they're doing it's amazing to me how people do this I I had that chapter in Los Angeles for one year and then I went to to Long Island and I remember um I was trying to figure out what to do and I looked for regional directors who had been around for a while and uh you know some of them wouldn't even talk to me some had nothing to offer me but the one who had done the most creative programming he had been Regional director for seven years was every itchy loan Brown down in Baltimore and uh I had met him at National Convention and I asked him if I could come down and meet with him about about programming he says sure and we set up a date so sure so I drove down to Baltimore um I think it was my first time ever in Baltimore that I know of and I was looking for exactly where he was and I called him up well no cell phones back then I had to find a pay phone yeah and I said hi I'm just trying to find out where you're located he says where are you I said I'm I'm here in Baltimore I'm on Rice toown Road I think think you know he goes you're in Baltimore so I said yeah we're supposed to meet today he go oh okay so he tells me how to get to where he is and I come to him and he looks at me and he says I'm doing this for this for seven years you're the first person who ever came to ask me what am I doing and how to do it I met regional directors coming and going and no one ever asked me what I'm doing and how I run it and he gave me copies of his booklets and of his programming and of everything he had and most people just you know more or less make it up as they go along so uh because there was nothing there I was able to really think how I wanted to build this thing it was was really interesting so um one of the things I realized is I need staff and uh I have to get those people I'll give you an example um My Philosophy is if you have the ability to reach out to a 100 people you could reach out to 100 kids or you could reach out to a 100 advisers and each one of them have the potential to reach a 100 Kids makes more sense right so I had a um a group dedicated to developing advisors and we had classes and we had you know discussions and speakers and and techniques and to try to help them get better at their job you know in fact I I know one of the big problems that happens and organizational work is burnout I know that for myself so I would tell them I want you to keep a log when you drive someplace and I'm going to pay you at the time I think it was 15 cents a mile that was the official uh income tax you were out to um to reimburse somebody for mileage for gas and wear and tear and and said uh you know I'll pay you for your mileage and I'll pay you for your phone calls keep track and everyone was like no no no no no it's okay I said no I don't I don't need you to be a martyr for the cause I don't want you to sit here and spend all this money and spend all this time and at the end feel like you're being taken advantage if I want you to know that at least on some level I appreciate what you're doing and I want to reimburse you that was my attitude and uh and I cited the line from General Patton who says you don't win Wars by dying for your country you win Wars by making the other guy die for his country I said I'm not looking for anyone to die for the cause you know I appreciate so much what you're doing so um so I would have the advisor and I'd bring him in and we would talk about different topics so we had a advisor training shabbaton and uh and I remember in the afternoon sh's afternoon we had a panel discussion about the role of Y kids and ncsy now let's be fair when we say Yeshiva kids we don't mean Bak of the Reb mayor and uh you know and guys uh learning in the mirror you understand that that's not we're talking about we talking about kids who are going to the local coed day schools um who definitely need Kik right needless to say um so we uh uh we brought down uh three of the principles from three of the schools to talk about the role of day school kids in ncsy and they all said the same thing if the kids are coming because they want to try to help the nun from kids and toaz them Etc so all right so then maybe there's a reason but otherwise of course they don't belong it's so iron onic that these kids went to co-ed high schools and they didn't think it was appropriate for them to be a co-ed organization but okay so um so they said uh you know they all said the same thing more or less and a number of the advisers had gone to their schools and had gone through ncsy and had graduated and were now advisers and one of them raised their hand and said kov we never went to ncsy to give we went to ncsy to get the principles did a little double tap so you understand I've been benching since I was five right I went to Sleepaway Camp where whichever table benches the loudest the they get a watermelon you know by the time you're a teenager nobody wants to bench anymore the average teenager benches like this can I go say there was no way you benched I'll do it again okay can I go [Laughter] now they're totally uninspired say but when I go to ncsy and I see some kid with an earring and a and a and a ponytail I'm talking about the boys yeah breaking his teeth on his ncsy transliterated adventure to try to bench I said wow I've got something I didn't appreciate and it was it inspired me in ways that I can't describe I had advisers who came in and uh they were working or they were doing whatever and they ended up you know quitting their jobs and and and going for and going to because they were inspired I I always say that you know the ideal advisors in an organization like this it's supposed to be a symbiotic relationship you're not just giving you're getting and if you're not getting and you're just giving okay but then you're missing the point how do you get surrounded by all of these kids who are struggling so there's somebody I I don't want to mention his name I I once mentioned his name and his wife got upset then I I don't I'm I'm not going to mention any names but he was uh he was going back for to to learn and um I didn't say anything bad and still she got upset I don't know people people are sensitive I guess they just don't like the uh being in the public eye I know how they feel I'm I'm terribly shy myself and I hate it when people draw attention to myself anyway but um by the way that is ironic because I am actually shy you know I uh I've been thrust into a public position how do you know when a person is shy or not so my good friend kanella uh I went to one of his children's kasas in America and in America you have to make the tables in Israel we don't make the tables everyone just sits wherever they sit you know but you have to actually make make the tables and apparently there's a to it because you know at each table you try to put like a live wire who's going to be there to keep the table going and he had the mistaken impression that I was one of them and of course I just sit at the table quietly I ate all the coastline pickles you know what I mean and I just sit there staring off into space I'm not bored because I have ADD and I can go anywhere I want and just wander around but but I I'm by Nature shy you know I I in fact when I got my first ncsy chapter I was so painfully shy I mean I I was so afraid to talk to people I remember this now it was [Music] 1978 1978 I 1977 78 I'm to remember now anyway I stood on the corner if you know Los Angeles a Fairfax in Beverly and I just said hello to people who were passing by and each time I did something in side of me died that's how painful it was now it was in LA at that time today they would kill you but back then they would just like smile yeah most people would say hello back some people would just look at you like you're crazy you know there were the New Yorkers who were visiting but uh California people were like hey yeah you know hi I was practicing because when I would go to uh events and my meetings I made an effort to talk to every kid for at least a few minutes remember this one girl came in and she always had this sort of sour look on her face but I have a policy you know I'm a black my kind of guy and I would go over and I would start talking to her you know for two or three minutes and she would just look at me and I would maintain a monologue for two or three minutes I'd walk away and I'd be like it's ironic because um two months later we had a chapaton and she sits down and just starts talking to me I was like what happened he goes takes me a long time to warm up so I'm by Nature shy person and this is how you know who a shy person is you know is when in Israel where there is no seiling when I go to a bar mitzvah I always look for an empty table I sit there by myself I get my little plate of three or four uh starches you know potato Bara and shami coule and um you know uh you know some some vegetables that were cooked uh you know sometime uh sometime before sh you know and it's like sad looking vegetables on the table I eat my little thing sit at the table you know wait long enough till uh they take the picture and I leave I'm not I'm not a social if somebody comes over to me says oh re yski you know talk to I'm happy to talk but but just to be like one of those who go over and just start smoing I you know it's very hard for me I'm very shock by Nature um it was all the beatings I think when I was a child but anyway so um so uh so I'm I'm in a story I'm in a story in a story I'm trying to remember how I got here but uh um I was La chapter I anyway so I'll go back to the original I don't remember how I got here but he says they said we didn't come to CS why oh that's what I said the most effective people are the people who are giving and getting at the same time so that they're experiencing that growth it's not just me and uh and that's the idea the ideal is when people are giving and getting you know so um so these Yeshiva kids Yesa kids uh they said you know we came to antsy to to get not to give that wasn't Our intention we looked at these people who were struggling and we were inspired by what they were doing I mention that because project Inspire is based on a principle that no Weinberg believed very much and that is like I said if you can work with a 100 people and you work with 100 advisers that's more effective than working with 100 kids so no Weinberg at one time went down to Lakewood and gave a series of Shor in order to get the guys in leg with to get involved in kirv and he didn't get any results to speak of and so he basically thought okay well we tried that didn't work but his Toman picked up the the Baton and they said and and I think the the um the phrase they Ed was to wake the sleeping giant which means that if we could um Mass the troops of the fir Community to get involved in cim this is this massive resource that has the ability to be able to go and change people's lives um and so you come to the project inspired convention ostensibly to learn how to do kirv um what to say to non from people um techniques um basically that's what the that's what the talks are about you know how we can go out and do things and they have various people whose lives have been changed by from people who reached out to them and they they intersperse the uh shabas with these stories of these people who've changed their lives around because some from balos took an interest in them between me and you most of the people who come to the chabas uh are very much like those advisers of mine who said we never came to ncsy to give we came to get it is one of the most inspiring I'm speaking as one of the speakers it's one of the most inspiring events that exists in clausel you can see the havdala they have a havdalah with a band and they're singing that these are from people you know they're uh uh they're sitting there and they're have doll in this singing that they're not learning techniques of how to make have doll for H from people they are deeply moved last convention I was on a panel like 12:00 at night on a Friday night and I think one of the first things I said is what's wrong with you people you're supposed to be firm Jews aren't you in bed at 10:00 like every firm Jew is on a Friday night they're there at everything they're soaking it up they love it the the we need inspiration because without that inspiration it's uh it's cult it's cold it's dark our vus Hashem is is a sad thing so this place is packed it's packed it's packed it's packed with from people I want to tell you an interesting story the first time I was at a project Inspire convention so all the rabbis were at The Faculty table except for me I was sitting at a table [Laughter] with anyway they're firing questions at me basic I got for questions you know and they're shooting questions out and okay I've answered these questions in the past we're dealing with them so I said to one of the people in charge I said hey how come I don't get to sit with the other rabbis he goes you were requested apparently I have a big following in the community I remember there was uh one shabas I had a number of B they have a Yesa in bam and uh Yiddish is clearly their first language but they listen to the podcast I don't know how much would they but they know enough English and they wanted to come for for shab because uh you know they uh they appreciate the um they appreciate the the the what what we doing on this podcast so somebody told me goes you have a big following in Bor Park you know I like no I didn't know but uh apparently we do you know and uh and they were ask me so I don't know why why of all of the big names there they chose me I don't know why but they were asking a lot of basic has I was very happy to answer them but it means that that there are from yiden who don't know the basics of yish kite they don't know the answers they don't have the inspiration if I can borrow uh one of my most famous lines yeah which uh I mentioned this a long time ago my 60th birthday uh my children wrote a wrap for me uh of um a collection of some of my most famous lines I have my friend Rabbi Z Redman on his 60th birthday he made a CM on your Shel me okay but anyway but he didn't get a rap okay so but the chorus was one of my favorite lines everybody does what everybody does because that's what everybody does yeah I say it all the time everybody does what everyone does because everybody does and so most people are from because most people are from but to get down to it and I have such respect for these people who wanted to answer basic questions because it wasn't enough just to say you know that is what we do they want have an understanding and that's what project Inspire does is that it gives the from people the security let let me tell you the following I I used to teach in orola which was a rical training program and uh part of the course that I was doing was how to uh answer basic questions on Judaism and um so the um so I I used to tell them the hardest question to answer is the question you haven't answered for yourself so if you're not comfortable with the answer you're going to have trouble answering it for somebody else obviously and uh the way I used to put it is if in your heart of hearts you are a male chauvinist then don't answer questions about women and Judaism because you're not going to answer it correctly uh guy once said you know a woman was asking me a question and I gave you an answer and she said you're patronizing me I said you know why she said that to you because you were patronizing her says but uh but you give those answers I said I believe it that's the difference you know I'm not just saying it it's real so if you don't if you don't believe it you really think women are infera then don't then don't try to answer how the Torah says that they're not because you don't believe it so the question you have to answer is for yourself and uh the more that we get it down clear then obviously if you're going to go into kirv try to speak to an unir person and you yourself are not sure of the answer or you're not comfortable with it I've told this story more than once you know and I was teaching all G someone said to me what's the what what's the hardest questions for you to answer so there's a few of them one is rabis is everything you're saying is right how come so many from people look miserable if I've been answering at the time I was answering this question for like 20 years and I would say it over to from audiences I said they want to know if Judaism is so wonderful why does somebody from people look miserable so somebody ratted on me to re olwik who was of course my beus re 1975 and he says to me David calls me up to give me mus says David you can't say that you can say they look miserable but you can't say they're miserable I said rebbi I hear what you're saying the only thing is I've been asking this question to from audiences for 20 years and they never said that to me they explained to me why they're miserable so you're right I mean it's a casha you know could be that they're not miserable but they tell me that they are so what am I supposed to do with that you know so obviously if uh if you don't look like you're enjoying the party it's not going to you're not going to get anybody to join it's got to be the kind of thing where people uh feel it so this doesn't in so ostensibly project Inspire is to inspire from people that got do kir but I say the real thing that project Inspire does is it inspires from people to be inspired Jews and that is so incredibly important let me let me tell you an interesting story uh there's a rub in uh a r in a Riva in Brooklyn zuker and uh um turns out it turns out he's he's one of my fans and uh I mentioned this because my nephew wanted to get into one of his programs and you know he didn't meet all the qualifications but he says look if your uncle comes down and speaks in the ISA will make an exception and I said my pledge next time in America I'll be there you know so we were talking and he told me the following story which I thought was um which I thought was poignant he said uh he says the good that came down to me he says they want to make a series of lectures about kadas taking out the internet and just next thing things like that this is what reuk says to me goes and I look at him and I said are you out of your mind do you think that's the problem with clel he says you should be sending re olski around to all of these from shes to do his YB Jewish to teach people why they should be from Jews I said what happened because I don't know I never heard from them again but you know the fact is like I saw as I'm sitting with thesea couples they they don't know they don't know why we're doing what we're doing my YB Jewish which is basically is the first two lines of missil Sharman explains why we should be from Jews you know I got a email from a guy in his 40s who's still learning and K and Lakewood and says until I heard this I didn't know why I'm airmed Jew I got a phone call from a guy learning in the mirror in his 20s he says until I heard that I didn't know am airm Jew it's online someplace I'm sure you can find it if you want but but uh but the point is that people want the basics people want to be inspired so uh the topic I want to talk about today and I'm almost out of time the I want to talk today is inspiration and we have to learn how to be inspired otherwise wise you're you can run the risk of what yesi refers to as MIT doing things by rote yeah without any understanding without any feeling and we just do what we do because that's what we do yeah and instead we should figure out how to be inspired I think about this just for a moment the gar says back when there was just right that's that's all that the ding was says the would spend an hour before daving meaning before an hour saying and an hour coming down from the experience so what was that hour beforehand the hour beforehand was to focus that when I'm going to D it should be something meaningful I have seen this at I haven't been guilty of it because you know I don't walk right in you know you have to walk at least fouras in but you know there are people who walk into Shaw do a pivot and start bowing go right into one fluid moment and they wonder why they don't find daving meaningful why because how much time did you spend preparing for it now you you have to um you have to uh keep yourself focused and be inspired when you're going to when you're going to DAV daving without inspiration has you know without kavana has no heart that's why it's called a to put your heart into it you have to think about what you're doing okay you may not be able to concentrate on every word you may not even know what every word is but there should be at least a Consciousness and I'm talking to there should be a sense of wow that's what inspiration is wow and we're surrounded by things that can Inspire us I I like to say Hashem is mistranslated as fear of God asil says when he gets to Y he says there's two types of Y there's okay that's a very low level I'm afraid that I'm gonna get punished uh Yus aramus that is the sense of wow I'm talking to wow so when you wake up in the morning I'm remembering as a kid and it snowed during the night and no one's really gotten up yet and everything is covered in snow there's something otherworldly about it there's a sense of wow I uh grew up out on Long Island and in Autumn when the trees are changing color which of course isn't M snower the trees are not changing color the leaves are have always been those colors it's just the chlorophyll makes them all look green and as the less Sunshine is producing less chlorophyll but now they're getting to the real colors but we'll use the colloquial as the trees are turning color and you're looking at them and the sunlight reflects over and you see the scarlet and the orange and the and the yellows and the golds and all the colors there's there's a sense of wow I live in and it's not just me I have a number of kids when we're having shalas they say could you open up the trist so we can watch the sunset sunsets in Yus am are just so beautiful a sense of wow yeah a very interesting thing I was in Cape Town South Africa I'm I'm hesitant to say it's the most beautiful place in the world because that's a that's a rough thing to say when I live in erel you know I took a train from London to Manchester and it's uh it's so it's so beautiful it's like right out of a story book you all the little farmhouses and the greenery and just beautiful just beautiful and you look out the window so someone told me a story of of cook when he was in England so he was on the train and someone says isn't this beautiful he was learning looked at the window he says yeah it's very nice and then they eventually made it back to Israel the boat docked in Kaa and he got on the train to go back toim and he's staring out the windows and this was before the JN F you know understand like you know everything is Barren and I just staring out the windows and when I was telling me him said Reby this is not as pretty as the English Countryside he says what can I do these mountains speak to me so okay so I'm hesitant to say that because I'm an ER and erell speaks to me I I think from time to time what Aus I have that I get to live in ER show but um but the people who were working in in South Africa told me they have a harder time in Cape Town than in Johannesburg because when you come to Cape Town there's this giant rectangular shaped mountain called uh tabletop Mountain very often there's a cloud hovering on top of it they call it the tablecloth on top of table top mountain and the city is built around the mountain and the the ocean goes around it and the juxtaposition of the mountain and the cloud and the water is just breathtaking you could stare for hours and it just gives you such inspiration to the point that they feel like they don't need spirituality that's how inspired they are when uh I uh go down to Miami Beach I often have Theus of staying with uh my niece and nephew the k um who are in Miami Beach and uh and they arranged me one time to stay with uh with his parents the K who are just the nicest people in the world we were going to go to a hotel and I cannot imagine any hotel would have treated us as nicely as the cons did there was every morning we'd get up and the table was set with different breakfast treats at night we'd come home they had the tea all set up and I tell you boy I I could get used to that lifestyle anyway so um but originally I used to live in Tower 41 I don't remember what floor 12th floor or something I go out onto their uh mes at porch I guess yeah up there Vera I don't know what you call it and the building has a view from there of the ocean and the bay you know my beaches in between the ocean and the bay and I could just sit there for an hour hypnotized by how beautiful it was how inspiring wow that's hasem when you say that wow that's or inspiring today people use the word they have no idea what it means awesome wow that was awesome probably not really awesome but when you when you look at something like that it's awesome it's or inspiring you see how great a k is and so we need that inspiration in our lives and the M says in Jesus if you don't have it fake it till you make it act like you're inspired and it will ignite the fire inside of you and fill you with that excitement but people whose aotus Hashem is cold and dead you missed what it's all about we have to be inspired we have to find ways to be inspired people listen to certain speakers in certain sh and they're INSP spiring when I was in mha who was the r of the branch in he would give shooing and they were inspiring they just they lifted you up and made you want to be a better person you are inspired my good friend RAB pesak cron I say my good friend R because everyone he knows is his good friend says there's my good friend so I feel comfortable saying my good friend face when he talks he has a magic that as he talks he lifts you up out of your seat you literally are floating that's then exaggeration figuratively you're floating he he lifts you up he inspires you he makes you see yourself as the person you could be instead of of seeing yourself just as the person that you are and we all have to have inspiration and sometimes that will give us a flash of lightning that lights up the darkness that's the inspiration that flashh when we came to Har we were all on the level where we were able to you know see the but it says the saw what what didn't see I mean on tremendous level the answer is says that sometimes let you have a glimpse of the end of the of the picture just to give you the inspiration to keep going so the fact that I've have the opportunity to participate in Project inspire is inspiring to me and I watch the people who are there it's an inspiration and like I say I'm I'm pre-recording this but I just remember the last time I was there I I think I actually lost weight because you know most of the meals are buffet and as I would walk to the buffet I would be stoed by person after person after person to ask questions they were looking from people who were seeking that INSP spiration that's got to be the most beautiful thing and so and not just inspire all the non from Jews but also inspire all of the from Jews that all of us should be able to serve hes with rone with a fire inside the way that we're supposed to and now we come to the question and answer portion of our program uh we have a sponsor for the question answer sponsored anonymously by a rabbi olowski show crazy from Staten Island oh did I have a good time in Staten Island I did a shabas uh in the young of Staten Island it was one of the coldest shabos rainy cold shabos I ever had and yet the warmth of the community kept me going my good friend Vigor freed brought me out over there and it was just an inspiration boy was that was that a great shabis and uh first time I was there I spoke at a at a woman's group and I said it's such a thrill to be here in Staten Island this is not my first time many times I've driven through Staten Island on the way to someplace else but anyway okay first question by Anonymous what should one do if he just can't stop laughing and he's in a serious place I okay this afflicts younger people more right younger people um don't have the self-controls that an older person does and they also have a sense of inappropriate behavior when people get older they they don't even know what inappropriate means anymore they have nothing to laugh about it so it doesn't happen so much but definitely younger people something happens and they just start laughing and the fact that they know they're not supposed to be laughing causes this nervous reaction so uh that used to happen to me when I was younger I still saw it you know you have that optimism of Youth and and and you know there are things to giggle about and laugh at you know um but uh what I find and you'll forgive me for this reference but if you really need to do it um I think about the Holocaust and suddenly I don't find it so funny and think about something really really sad about it and that that helps you stop and in case you think I'm mistaken it was in Mary poppin when they would laugh they would float to the top of the ceiling and when they would think about something sad they would sink back there so uh if you can't think of something sad right on the spot because you got the giggles think of something really sad tragic and uh and and it'll bring you back down to earth so uh so that would be my advice for that okay Dena has three questions we're just GNA knock off all of dea's questions here one go how can I balance my R and my G like this you r on one side the G the other and you balce it out so I'll tell you what the missil says in Precious Precious means you take from this world what you need and I think that's such an important line that means you don't um you don't make yourself feel denied you take from the world what you need and let's face it you know there are times where we know we have enough and we keep going anyway that's the excess that's where the gmas becomes the gmas for itself Rus is the I right we're in this we we our spiritual self MTI burer used to do this in a class he would say to somebody do you have a soul he says yes have you ever been hungry he says yes he says you have it backwards you are a soul your body's been hungry when we embrace our GMI and that becomes us you understand it's going to be very sad when you die thear BR says when a sadic dies it's like removing a hair from milk it slides right off and there's no problem but when a Russia dies it's like trying to remove some uh uh cotton from a thistle the little pieces keep leaving behind says the um the Mahar that's why when we die our bodies have to Decay to rele release all those little neish McNuggets that are stuck inside of our goof and so the more that we embrace our gmas the harder it is to focus on our or as the gar says before you doav that the Torah go into you doav that the food not go into you what's that mean that means that if um food is something that you wax poetic about and not just that you eat in order to sustain you you'll you'll find that the the gashi starts to take you over and therefore gmas is there to serve a purpose and to tie in with what we were talking about earlier it can sometimes be used as inspiration what do I mean like that yeah I heard this story from r Weinstein teaches in der he had learned by R Gusman and it says R Gusman told the story that it was him it was R hutna I think it Wasim zimman and I I think there was a fourth but I don't remember the story and he says they were working on a sugya they were really stuck on a sugya and they said if we Salve this sugya we'll go out to eat okay and they worked very very hard and they came up with a shot and they went out they went out to eat and um uh so uh the way r grisman ends the story is I won't tell you who ate the mo most but whoever learned the most ate the most so the GM is there to inspire you um I was teaching gar and d one year second year she it was each each guy was just a Superstar you know and uh Diamonds in the Rough I had a chance to hone them and uh I turned them into monsters I taught them how to ask all the annoying questions that I ask and uh that you know that that I need Rashi the smartest guy in the world to tell me it's it's dark outside when it's night what's he trying to tell me what is this you know they all picked it up they they they they took to it pretty naturally and we were all fighting and arguing anyway one time and I had a I had a rule we only rash that was it and whatever we needed to give shash so we were stuck on a t we went to a mar and the mar we were stuck in the mar he went to the county and we couldn't make heads or tails out of him we were working very hard and I one of the guys in the sh D spinker he says to me Reby says what do you do when you just can't figure it out I said me when things get really bad I have a chachino Cino was like a cappuccino only with chocolate instead of coffee he says does it help I said oh yes so we made up then and there that if we figure out shat we will all go out for Chinas and eventually we came up with aad and I remember we made a whole day of it it was before para's truma that was the week of par truma so we went to the m mikash where they have uh examples of the different Cale in the B mikdash andun and we went there and then we d by the C and then we went out to have chinos and as these budding was sitting around one of them turns to me and says you know it really does [Laughter] help that's that's the goal coffee what what is the goal of Cori Cori is there to give you the good feeling the nas to to as the says in per the physical Pleasures are here to give us we should be relaxed gives us that that good feeling gives us the motivation to go and do what we need to do and and that's ideally what the gash is supposed to be in this world okay and the second question is does Hashem punish that's a tricky question it's a tricky question because you have to know what what a punishment is an ones the letter I of course is an an i no means to to fall right the when when the fruit falls from the tree you know a inash means see that you have stumbled now listen to this listen to aamar it says that if nothing bad happens to you for a certain period of time you have to be suspicious that Hashem just gave up on you doesn't care about you anymore let's do what you want there's no point in punishing somebody who's not going to gain anything they say the where will punish to the third or fourth generation why what happens then cuz what do you to call a Jew who hasn't been from for three or four generations a Christian they don't even know they're Jewish anymore so what's the point of punishing them they they're not Jewish they don't they're not going to get the message the purpose of a punishment is to help the person see that they've stumbled and unfortunately the real ity is that people are motivated when bad things happen to them to re-examine their life and make a decision what should I be doing with my life now so a punishment is not vindictive I'm going to get even with you a punishment is there as a means for us to be able to grow so the way I put it is um you see that somebody is involved in uh really unhealthy activity and you're trying to talk to them and it doesn't help so what do you do so yeah you know give a little push what are you doing what are you crazy you got to shake them shake them out of it that's what does when what we look at as a punishment is something that is there for us to wake up and look at our lives and say as Jean valan does in L miserab I have become so miserable when you turn around and you realize how I've become such a miserable person so the Onish is there for us to realize wow it's time for me to to put my life back together the last thing is what happens when I do a AA well you does a lot of things one is uh it makes you a worse person person if dla explains this that there's a um there's a sliding scale cuz right now you're only capable of doing something so bad and only capable of doing something so good you you're stuck Within These parameters Yesa guy once came to me he says Reby I did the worst thing in the world I said I don't believe it he goes I did I said you killed your mother and ate her she goes no I said oh and then that's not even the worst thing could think it was just the first one that came to mind I could think of words he missed okay the point is that there's a parameter there's only so bad I'm going to be and there's only so good I'm going to be but every time I do an action I shift the parameters and that's the idea of Mitzvah gueras Mitzvah and aeras a every time I do something bad I open up the potential to do something worse and that's why it's the slippery slope you start down this path that ends poorly and so uh that's one thing that happens the other thing that happens is every AA regardless of how serious it is means that I don't believe in God because if I believe in God then I wouldn't I wouldn't have gone against what he said yeah and that's why when we clap Al we say and then we fill in whatever the sin is but it doesn't make a difference the first thing is you told me not to do this and so every hate that we do is in fact a uh a rebellion against KES and the third thing is that it destroys the world now if you're very big like a korak then you can really shake things up in Shay and and do all kinds of different things but it has obviously you know uh physical effects in the world we know what the gamorra says about earthquakes and things like this you know that the caused by our actions there things that we do you know suddenly it doesn't rain there's droughts there's all kinds of stuff that takes place so it happens in the physical world but also happens in the spiritual world you all know that every time you do a Mitzvah it's a brick in the third base of mikdash when you do a a you pulled out a brick so so if you're a small person you can't do a lot of damage but it's cumulative it's interesting [Music] when it says lanara is Ked um G so then then why is in says because it's not the sin itself it's the fact that it's repeated so many times and every time we do something bad we make the world into a worse place it might be just a little bit but it takes many Pebbles joining together to create an avalanche so uh that's why we have to be careful and that's it for uh this episode if you want to find out more about the show you can go to my website rey.com you can ask a question you can sponsor an episode you can sponsor a question and answer you can sponsor a uh par five uh you can uh sign up for one of our online shum in fact I just got an email from somebody who wants to sign up for the missil Su charm and she says but I can't do it live can I watch the recording afterwards and yes there are people who do that who are in the Shar they can't always come they listen to the recording afterwards um the the dfom sh in the morning and uh that's it for this week until next time I am de olowski and this has been the RAB olowski show it's the rabbi orlovski show Torah and S ready to go the rabbi orlovski show knowledge and wisdom will help you grow lots of fun in every episode and we don't have to rhy no we don't it's the rabbi orlovski show on Rabbi ori. comom Tora anytime you two and more it's graab orski show Tor and ready to go the rabbi orski show till next time till we meet again it's the rabbi Orlowski show it's the rabbi Orlowski show it's the rabbi orski show