Cholentface: the not so Marvellous Middos Machine

Have any of you guys heard of the Marvellous Middos Machine? WHat was your favourite song? The Gaavah song? That's a Middos Alert. For those who don't know The Marvellous Middos Machine was about this strange doctor who hung out all day with unsuspecting kids that he named Dizzy, Shlumpy, and Shnooky without parental consent he sent these kids to Africa and outer space paying them with chocolate covered pickles feeding them the wookie jookie plant which has no known side effects and he somehow managed to hack into every single home in order to spy on our kids and our parents were happy with this! I have a theory about that wookie jookie plant I think it was a hallucinatory drug and the entire third episode with the time machine was just Shnooky Shapiro going on a big trip. Some people don't know this, but Moshe Yess created a Marvellous Middos Machine for adults it was very exciting in there you find out why Shnooky Shapiro was not allowed near the Marvellous Middos Machine after 10:00 PM There's a great scene where Dr. Middos saves the day on an airplane with a pregnant woman giving birth and he gets all the flight attendants to sing the Tznius song. It also came with some songs Marvellous Middos Machine songs and I'll sing one for you it goes like this You got into a fight with your Chavrusah he didn't like the way you Taitched the Maharsha so you went home and got your brand new chainsaw and now you're cleaning up in the Mikva You left your Midrash Rabbah in the Prius so you went out to get it but Gevald! Oy Shrek! you saw a girl who wasn't very Tznius and now you've gone and stabbed her in the neck. Oh Lo Tirtzach the Torah says don't do it, that's true do not murder, if you please so Mommy, Tatty will be proud of you. Oh, Lo Tirtzach even if he stole your pizza oh, Lo Tirtzach if there's Hasra'ah, you will be Chayav Misah. Of course, that was the Moshe Yess style song but there was also the Hartzigeh Abie Rotenberg style songs I'll give you a sample. Sometimes when you're feeling down when there's nobody else around you reach in your wife's drawer of clothes and try on her pantyhose. Hashem didn't make you a Meidel yet here you are wearing her Sheitel oh it's written clear in the Torah Lo Silbishu Bigdei Isha. Gee, Yossi. That pair of Gotchkes is right! Let's take off our high heels and go learn some Mesilas Yesharim. www.Frumprov.com