Chaikel Kaufman: Pesach in Quarantine

I was just on a call with Louis shiner azumed calls and he said it was freezing it's freezing I wasn't sure with a bad connection or if it was about star Monica by aciem or something so I've never never done this before my first time I first my first stand-up my first live show yeah basically I mean what happened was I sitting around all day middle of the day in my pajamas not working no work to do and I was like hey I'm basically a comedian just got to write some material and that's all that's all you can do that but yeah a big big shout out the channel face first of all for arranging this but he you know was coaching me gave me a lot of good pointers I really appreciate it gave me the time of day and got me through got me got me here got me to where I am today I'll be honest I'll be honest I don't consider myself a professional comedian I think there's one thing that you in today's days for sure are professional from community and professional from Canadian really needs to have and I don't have it I think every professional comedian has to have a car elaheh joke and I don't have one so I'm gonna I don't know comedian I'm gonna try this out see where it goes but uh no ko jokes you have my word on that one no offense to anyone who has one well I was pretty nervous to do this I was pretty nervous to do this my friend somebody actually look around I was like he's like don't worry do what they always say you should do picture everyone and their underwear and I'm like that's not gonna be too hard no one's put on pants in like over two weeks so I think we're going to be good but speaking of Underpants while we're on the subject I keep on thinking about my kids ah not my poor kids my poor kids what they're going through these days like literally my kids and anarchist they're living they're living literally my nightmare I bait they are going through what I used to wake up skin and sweat over my kids are in class and they're realizing they're not wearing pants imagine oh my gosh that's like yeah so no segue what's that what's that what's that was great will you arranged this little thing on watsapp but you know a lot of things we could we could fix on this I had an idea I think we should have a col yisroel whatsapp chat right now hear me up we all like every mean yeah mushy ops here done one post good and we're all good right and so that's great yeah not gonna whatever but but you know we always get the theme means and fifty different chat and it's like and then a one month later it's posted on our family chat and it's like yeah Bobby I get it coronavirus Crona beer yeah yeah no no I get it yeah yeah no no it's hilarious hilarious just two months too late but you know if we had a cloudy strong chat it's just like post one person post I mean and then anyone any other chats like dude that was on the console chat don't you like come on no it's not cool I mean course little awkward somebody leaves I'm like PNM hey you need any game of throwing DVDs maybe I'm looking at missing missing a couple of crimes or crimes you have both oh yeah this coronavirus coronavirus it's a big big topic today these days I I heard a rumor I don't know if this is true but there was a rumor going around like would and didn't confirm but there was rumor going now there's all these bathroom all these boys that iron they're standing five feet eight inches away from people and telling people at six feet I don't know if it's true the rumor going around I don't know so what I buy normally I am actually have a travel agency that's really my profession obviously I'm not gonna lie this is uh not the greatest time in history for travel agents I mean even qui se Anza if we were cruises you know doing well this is this is a rough time but it's not all bad it's not all bad not all bad until every single time I like set a joke by the table my wife would be like okay don't quit your day job now I say a joke and I'm like haha I can't quit my day job so now what you gonna do about it so gossip but you know you got you gotta stay one step ahead even when things are bad you got to think what's gonna be you gotta you know like Wayne Gretzky you have to speak to the puck you got it you gotta figure out so I believe every brainstorming here and figure me out we gotta figure out what's the next big Jewish travel destination like we got less gents we got all these things if I can get ahead right I could make back all that money like that so I've been thinking about it and I and I have it I nailed it okay guys listen up no one feels please copyright hike oh okay please but I got it we have a song all right listen us we have so many songs already prepared I'm telling you and the feedback Wow we've been testing it so far every single person has come back positive so yeah but you know it's crazy what's been going on I was uh I was driving around the other day and the streets are deserted until I realize I am living in Cleveland that's that's just the stories I mean we were when we were ranging this zoom cause so some faces like okay APM Geico how much behind are you guys in Cleveland I'm like 10 years but Cleveland is catching up because one thing that this coronavirus brought to Cleveland is until until these times until about a month ago there was no Marvin Cleveland past 10:00 p.m. now I'd like yeah now it's awesome I dive in at 1:00 a.m. and I later whenever yeah but uh you know cobot about it's been uh stepping up about it's been amazing worldwide always is but you know I think in these times we're getting again appreciate it very much couple weeks ago Eric Chavez they some guys some somebody's drove around my block trunk open with Shabbos candles in the trunk with a sign please take regular Rick for Shabbos driving around are nice and slow so it was a really sweet gesture and peace off they came around driving nice and slowly let their cars on fire so everyone could throw in their comments that we had Mobile's bonfires I thought that was a great a great thing but uh one thing that that's been interesting to see was the coolest all the coolest that are coming out I call it Hitler surging it was taken advantage of the situation and there's some crazy coolest coming out like for example my rough told me and and this was whatever I'm don't you shouldn't rely on this speak to your own of my rough told me that this year dust is not comments frankly I told this to my wife and let's just say I'm either gonna have to get a new rug or a new wife it's very hard to date these days like another another hair that was going around a lot was was the mikveh you know people people were people my rough said that we can drink tap water this Pesach we don't have to drink Nick for water which was very interesting I don't know I don't know where he got that from but you know and and and right before you enter my call my Robin I'm like ruff ruff what I didn't tie with my phone this year he's like you title your phones every every piece I said not not intentionally