Frumkeit or Krumkeit? - Rabbi Yaakov Zev Smith

we like to welcome everyone who's mature to come in person tonight and everyone who is joining us on the phone and online brewkamaboom good luck to your biggest occur to mr mrs issa klug for the support for tonight's mass ave say i'm ramosa pimpers and remind everyone and inform everyone who didn't know they noticed the change in the schedule for wednesday will not be having the dinner in flatbush due to the health situation and there'll be a regular shear here wednesday night of a uh benzene gibbs and mr shem the dinner will be in a couple weeks time in borough park uh details will be sent out to the via email what would like to have them get updates about it send the email to irgenshire tyra at yeshivanet.com and we'll let you know the details as they become available this is the annual dinner is the ignorance retires one time a year where we have a fundraising event to help with the expenses of that butcher's tara worldwide throughout the year it's a perfect opportunity to put an ad in the journal which will be published to the occasion to honor the abundant mushroom we've enjoyed and have a helicopter's torah of ignorant robots throughout the year there also a couple of shrimp remaining in the summer program there's still sponsorship opportunities called insurer torah at 718-851-8651 or email tape center at yeshivanet.com for these great hypothesis of terror opportunities tonight we have the covenant out with us once again of jakobs that's mitch lita margachi higgins your torah mr spanish colin stalin and froome kite versus chromecart it's my cover to corner smith for tonight's sheer the subject from kite or chromekite seems to be what we say in english a no-brainer because from kite is a wonderful thing someone is mahmeer from chitin is a great thing in fact as the mashrach points out in parish's boy clay israel were worthy of redemption in mitzrayim only because of hummus they didn't change their name their clothing their language there wasn't really halacha on issa they went the extra mile and because of ahumra they were worthy of the gaola so obviously from kite are a wonderful thing crumb kite is a word that's hard to translate crumb kite from the word crumb is a lot worse than crooked it's more like warped or a person you know when i was growing up they said sometimes froome is the russia tavis phil riches veinig mitzvahs which means full of riches and very little mitzvahs crumb kite is the very antithesis of formica from kite so what kind of question is it from kite versus crumb kite and yet you'll look into hazal and you'll see how challenging this subject really is because yes as the masjid told us yidan were worthy of gaula of mitsrayam because of from kite you know something that's equally true the corbin by ischeini came about because of a firm kite you probably remember the gemara we learned it not so long ago the the anova the humility of rabzarya was the cause of the corbin habias another is a golden media maestro being whose greatness was and the gemara attributes to corbin are biased because of zachariah had a misplaced another that means the khurban bayer shane he came about because of a humra and i'll tell you something else the first bias also was destroyed because of a humra as democracies the prelude of the corbin is gedalia's assassination and as we know that's why there's a special fast time gedalia because that was the beginning of the end and when the pasek describes the the assassination of godalia the posix says the people that gedalia killed geday didn't kill anybody he got killed he was the victim says the gemara because gedalia was told that there's a is an assassination plot and he refused to listen because he didn't want to listen to los angeles and that was wrong because me boy you have to be careful so the corbin by israeli shine the government is shiny is attributed to a misplaced from kite and that is the challenge of this evening because ahuma is wonderful but the problem is how do we differentiate where do we draw the line between from kite which is the cause of our goula or a misplaced from kite that really in essence is a cronkite that is so devastating it caused corbin bias do you have to sit stand or whatever you want says the mishna in brock is definitely base reptarfin was mahmeer like bashamai and he almost lost his life and he says yes i should have lost my life because that was mahmoud like beisamai now i don't know about you when i was in yeshiva we were taught hamach this mishna seems to imply hamachmere is kai of misa can you explain that he was deserving of death because he was mahmir says in paragraph this khumra was really a froomkite that was really a crumb kite why because there was a machlaikis bashar mayan based hillel that divided cloud israel that almost made it like two camps and finally was put to an end and now everything is based hilo rakhtarfin wanted to be mahmoud like and his intentions were certainly noble but he was unknowingly reigniting the fire of macholicus he was once again honoring bayshamai when bayshamai was neglected that was a misplaced humra that was causing macholicus and this prompted the great ramesh to devote an entire pyrrhic pericroft and the sharing which literally means the scale of hasidus and he describes this challenge and i quote important fundamental concept it's a melodrama a very challenging task where the atari has a field day canis iguodyla sakanosai atsuma it is a grave danger where hatoyam becomes mitzvah's gadolos do you get the drift a person means well but he could do something that causes corbin and i'm not saying a person that's not thinking i'm talking about a gedalia banachicum but when someone does something thinking it's a humra thinking it's a firm kite it might in fact be a crumb kite you know there's a quote of the madras the grenadine the difference between gehennam and ganaden is a hair's breath now i must confess that i was never in ghanaian and i hope never to be in gehenom but i always thought there's a world of a difference between gehenna and garnetin and here the magist is saying the difference is a hair breath but i think the message is a person means well and he wants to be a wants to do something that's a from kite but if if he's making a mistake it's a crumb kite and this is the subject of this evening doing something that a person really means i'm not talking about a hostage shaitan a person that's is phil riches vainig mitzvahs those people don't come to shurima's because they don't want to hear the truth i'm talking about people that mean well someone as great as a gedalia or a tarpon or or obsercaria how do you walk this tightrope of doing something and making sure it's a froome kite i'll give you an example someone told me this sack quoting a person was rushing to mingham and he was late and he came this is of course an out of town community and we wish we would have these questions where the school typically has a parking lot and the shoe was full and there was no parking spaces available except for handicapped parking only so he quickly reasoned i'm late enough as it is i got it ava tilapiva and i'm the late mr so-and-so but the handicapped person is not late he comes early there's very little chance that a handicapped person will need this spot for minha let me just park there and i'll pull out again there's a very remote chance someone is going to need this parking spot so he did that and he parked in the handicapped only parking went to davao came out and he started thinking you know maybe i did something wrong it says handicap only i'm not handicapped so he has to have kanyevsky i told this person i can't believe that story i don't doubt what he did was wrong because you're not handicapped but you have to have a min so he said i saw it in a safe i said well please fax me or email me the copy the safer and the safer was my introduction into mishkala khasidas rabhayam but he said one clause you're probably a yoitsa but josh my nestra didn't have the potential that it's supposed to have because you did something wrong do you think their bursa appreciate a straw that was done through something that was less than perfect that is mishka you want to do a mitzvah you want to dive in that's wonderful but at whose expense but let me give you a muscle i hope you don't hope this doesn't sound familiar but i'm afraid this has to be mentioned because in our community we have no parking uh in schools but how about the very disturbing reality when you want to pull out your car from your private driveway and someone blocked your driveway because he had to park to catch minha does it sound familiar or how about when someone double parked on avenue j on a short friday afternoon and there's around seven cars honking and waiting to move but he's not there because he went to buy something look how the chavez does that sounds familiar it's the same problem he's doing a mitzvah he's chopping the cup of shabbos but he's not thinking of others dibarislam wants mitzvahs that are pure a mitzvah that hurts someone is tainted now him mentioned asayfa hasidim a similar question someone took a siddha without permission and divine from it so the save and that's one of the refinements ruled that he should have been over but tara asked the dover was tainted you did something wrong to do something right the the power of the tefila was solid that could be but obviously the person didn't consent but the point the per the point that i'm trying to bring out is when you do a mitzvah it can't be at someone else's expense or to use the more familiar term you can't step on someone's toes i'm going to tell you what i think is a tremendous insight into this point maestra benue his greatness was a nicer oil how he pained with the tower of clay israel he was brought up in the lap of malchus with baspari but he couldn't bear the pain of his brother that was suffering and finally the moment came that he was waiting for the bernstein says maisha time to go you are going to redeem cry israel did may should jump at the opportunity you remember hamish moshe refused first time i can't do it what if you can't do it this is the moment you're waiting for says the madras in schmeichel gimbal tazayin moisha had a problem if i'm going to redeem claudius throw my older brother aroyn will feel slighted that i'm taking center stage and he's neglected i don't know about you but the version tells you to redeem clay israel this is nephesh of entire israel and you're worrying about aaron's feelings so we would expect it but i'm saying my shaving what are you talking about just do what i told you to do but what was the brainstorm's response you underestimated aaron's greatness he will not be envious of you he will be proud of you that means durban shalom essentially agreed to moshe's assumption that if indeed aaron would feel slighted then moisha would be unable to complete his mission because a mitzvah can't hurt someone else's feelings or better yet maisha understood with his pure heart that it can't be the rats and hashem that i should redeem clious role if my brother irene will feel bad and the muslim agreed but you under-appreciated aaron's greatness that's been audamely moisha was willing to delay the goulam and mice was willing to forfeit the schools of redeeming clarissa because someone else's feelings are primary and that is rule number one in mishka hasidus we have to glorify being authentic we are enamored by the concept redeeming clients from and it's wonderful but what about the feeling of someone else you know rapam when he would speak about this subject often he would make it very real he said you have a question there's an imaginary scale way the options and he said sometimes you know you want to bake a cake so you know you have a cup of flour and a cup of sugar so you approximate well it might work it might not work you put too much sugar it's too sweet less not so sweet so it's much more advisable take out the measuring cup and measure it so you would say when you have a question take out the mishka kasi there's this imaginary scale and where measure the pros and cons and i like to give you my own example but i think it speaks volumes of my point the first belzer ever he became belzer ever came from a family of hasidim he was once sitting with his mother by the seder i'm sure they will see them there and his mother ate kibrox again he was the first hustler in the family his mother was not a hustler so she put matzah into the hot soup and pesach reduced in front of all the sedum and when she finished eating her soup she shifted it to a son now you enjoy it now i don't have to tell you xeton don't eat gabruks it's more closer to york vallavs and what would the average person do when he's offered some gabroxan pesach i think the average person would take the soup and the mother and throw them both out the window but the bell's the red was not an average purse you know what he did he ate the soup and when he was asked about this bizarre behavior he says what's to shiloh gabrox is a minigun albeit a halogen mining keep it of aim is the other isa you know something that is the most logical approach that a person could make but herein lies the rub because if you think and you weigh the options it is self-evident but if a person is rash in his response if he's if he's not thinking he'll say good brother i'll come out i can't i don't want to eat it you're making your mother feel bad just weigh it weigh the options keep it all the aim it's a superpower get brought to the halo dominic but we where are your center priorities because torah if i have one word to describes its essence and that's the litmus test is this the ratsan ashjam is this torah is it nimus you know it's amazing will soon learn is unaware what exactly is the identity of this tomorrow it doesn't say the word of the torah kappas tomorrow phragma maybe it's kofra a different specie says marnell can't be kufrin because kufr has thorns and when you pick up that kufra rashi explains um it scratches your fingers and the toilet is the positive says a mitzvah can't be sweet it can't it can't be a mitzvah if it's not sweet if it's going to scrape your fingers and that's not a mitzvah in the them at bay's the next the next ahmed dimar is trying to figure out what exactly is the what the terrorist says an af ate a voice it doesn't say hadassen they aim a hairdryer says now here that is unacceptable because here this also has two ones and you get caught and amazing the litmus test to determine is this a mitzvah do you know that the rambam at the very end of hanukkah discusses in that hopefully is not negaya but the message is one that we have to live our lives with it's the old sheila today it's a theoretical question hashem because we we have we live in a a country that's blessed with what we need but there were times people are very poor and arab shabbos hanukkah he only had one candle he could use if in their hanukkah or their shabbos which of that mitzvah should be done with that one candle don't forget hanukkah is a person has to sell everything for pursuing but says a whole simmon devotes the whole sim of this takes precedence over the concept of pursumenissa and the rambam at the end of the hanukkah codifies [Applause] was given to make peace not to disturb the peace and that's why i think the essence of this great media of miscalcasidas or from kite is when a person thinks before he does something when you think then you get the right perspective i'll give you another example someone told me he was there by this story by the old square rebels as we know square by then minig israel is torah then by significant every minute of every nuance of meaning and the meaning is that when ayamthe when they say yes girl they don't sing kakeli there was one yum div they said jessica and obviously the khazen did not know this meeting and started singing kakeli a a a a blatant violation of minixve and they were certain the rabbit would make some type of a comment you know we got to stop this is not the minute he let it go so after someone approached him and said what happened to my next fair it's the rapper's response and i quote mini square not to embarrass someone if i would say something they would feel very embarrassed you would feel foolish that's the meaning here now let me ask you a question what would the average person do no no no no no stop right no no no so you'll embarrass him now what happens if you think okay i don't think the world would come to an end but if you stop something called kaylee you're embarrassing him isn't it obvious let it let it go and do you know that as a machabin the tournament quotes the opinion of the safe harmony one of the reshowing him that about kurd that makes a mistake don't correct him rely on the sheet of the rambam that a mistake is not active i know balikriya love that safe harmonic but we don't ask him like that and we do correct the valley kriya but the message is so powerful mini claw israel is don't embarrass another person you know i once gave i told the bargain imagine you walk into your dorm room and shabbos morning and your friend is flipping on off the light he said hey what are you doing because don't worry what do you mean why you put a light on and off on shabbos he goes you say listen stop this hashem and don't put the light on you know go learn the champions of mine right but you don't put light why do people hurt other people's feelings hashem shamayim do you know the gemara speaks about penina and khanna two cysts that loved each other and penina wanted to evoke honest villa so penina taunted hannah about children she didn't have and the murray says that panini was punished terribly although the gemara testifies that panini she was certainly doing this but when you hurt someone's feelings like you're putting your hand in a fire that's mishka don't hurt someone's feelings mahesh was willing to delay the goola because of someone else's feelings and that's step number one to glorify as a heroes in being right we are taken aback by the concept of a minik which is great about aloha but why don't we feel a satisfaction when i am being in not hurting someone else's feelings you know someone that i know very well told me he himself asked rabbi who does have segal the manchester us yeshiva the manchester sadiq as he was called he got married and with mr burroughs said that's how he's supposed to watch negabasta by the bed but he noticed when he watches in the morning he wakes up his wife what should he do and the manchester says you know i also washed by the bed but if it disturbed my wife because i woke her up i would wash outside of the room now the manchester receiver was very from but he drew the line between firm kite and he said when his wife passed away she passed away at a young age he resumed washing by the bed but think about it i also washed by the bed my wife doesn't wake up hashem but it's page one and mr burum right seminal first page is the bureau but does that justify waking up another person think about it it's simple but that's the problem we don't think and you know i once said you know alamdin develops a theme one your site and it can answer two questions three questions four questions because it's a very powerful your site and it answers one question after the other i'm not a london but i could tell you one you saw it that will answer probably hundreds of questions and i have no copyright you could take it and you could use this this you saw it it's a question that will answer the most difficult questions it's an answer that will all the questions you have in life will be answered watch this someone is waiting to take his child to yeshiva seven o'clock in the morning the boy is late so he says he's going to be late for diving he starts honking in the horn now you're wondering rabid do you know what seven o'clock in the morning do you know you're living you're not living on a desert island do you know that you're waking up people when you're honking the horn yeah but my son's gonna be late for that he's gonna miss bronchus rabbid you're waking up other people what are you thinking you know what the answer is he's not thinking watch this why did that person double park heir of shabbos and avenue j does he know that the seven eight people that are waiting to move are also rushing arab shabbos what are you thinking guess what you know the answer is he's not thinking why did you double park and blocks up and block someone's driveway or block someone's car because you have to go to have minh that's very nice what about the other fellow what's he thinking he's not thinking someone is sitting by hassana and he makes a good joke and nobody laughs except the person that the joke was made about so hazal called that malmorabe but he says i was just joking come on take a joke right what are you thinking you know the answer is he's not thinking someone makes a snide remark and his wife feels hurt come on don't be so sensitive what are you thinking right your wife is sensitive why'd you say that what are you thinking i'm not thinking oh and that's mishkala hasidis and let me give you another example of mishka the gemara says in my cotton things what does that mean if he measures his actions so mark is an example rabiani had a talmud unnamed but he must been a very bright boy and he asked questions all the time and sometimes he stumped rabbi but rabiani is delight to have a good talmud so every day he asked the question rabiani didn't know the answer good rabbi didn't mind but once a year this bacha did not ask questions that was what the we're actually explaining to something like a what we call a caller where the entire city turned out came to yeshiva to learn it was been a day off and then when it wasn't just the banaya yeshiva the balabatham came to the sheer the talmud was quiet he didn't ask questions but the next day back to normal back to questions rash says why don't he ask questions a bigger crowd because he realized that if he's an ask the question about that rebbe doesn't know the answer the red will be embarrassed you know if the bahrain understand that the rebbe doesn't know everything but while batman will say hey what's with this russia he doesn't know the answer they've got the boy's question the reboot or she will be embarrassed what a beautiful attitude he asked the question every single day beautiful that's no harm to shawtara but today you're going to make the receiver feel bad yesterday and tomorrow it's a magnificent mitzvah but today it's wrong because you're hurting someone's feelings that's it a person thinks and it's obvious let me give another example a younger man came to our palms the kind of rock once he had a dilemma he's making a brisk tomorrow so ram says maldives what's your dilemma because i only had one baby boy and both grandmothers lost their husband that year and they both demanded that the babies be named after their husband the boy's great grandfather but and they didn't want to combine names and they both were decided they're getting the name and tomorrow's the bris and no one's relenting what should i do i can't give two names i only i don't have twins what should i do and no one's giving in the problem says tell me the story and he listened and he felt that grandmother a had rights says give me the phone number of grandmother b and i will speak to and he spoke to her and he told her it's probably a squish to name after your late husband but i guarantee you that it's a greatest hus if you prevent macholicus you'll get a different name please let him your let your grandson name after the other great the grandfather it's a biggest cuss for your husbands to shum that was the end of the conversation a few days later upon met the jingle man says no had the briscoe because i had such problems what was the problems because grandmother a found out about what the rasheeva said and she wanted to give up the name for grandmother b and they're fighting who gives up the name a beautiful story a true story but a simple story does it say in the torah that if you name after a deceased person it says no is there a school i'm sure there is but it's not a derisive it's not a drab or it's just but the tyre was given so by giving up a name to promote shall i maintain shalom that is the quintessential caller tarakula it's as simple as that and you know something after he had the story he said hey why didn't i think of that you know the answer might be because you don't think but if you think the decision is clear i could only tell you my personal pain i deal with bachmann young how many beautiful simchas were disrupted or sometimes destroyed because they were fighting about these type of things a baby is born a wonderful simran but there's a majoricus who gets the name who's the sandik who's the clotter how many hustling cows went down to the chopper amidst them who's massaging how are we going two fathers or father our mother do you know someone called me i couldn't make up the story a night before the khasna and he says mama she was crying that went out of your house tomorrow i said what happened because they can't decide if they're going to have the chosen color on one table one head table or one head table for the huston and the man and for one for the women and the caller and no one wants to give him he wants crosstalk he wants crosstalk imagine king be thinking about akhasana tomorrow that might not happen because people are fighting what are they thinking they once is a black of kaminetsky what's his meaning about interfering when you go to the chupa did he go with his rabbitson or did he go with them two men or a father mother he said three children i did like this and three like that so someone said what kind of minute is that i did whatever the other side wanted to do isn't that a beautiful minute isn't that the meaning of clay israel to promote shaolin you know there's an incredible now you probably know that people are more scared of of sabor buddha khasi than they are of their sarah sadibras you know those few things about similar names or closing up windows closing up doors these type of things in simmon non-aleph of the tava i quote said don't name a child yehudah or shmuel which is very strange because name as you could probably figure out was yehuda and his father's name was shmuel so why should he tell his children not to name after him or his father and indeed damar shah is quoted as one saying publicly i am an enoch my name is my father's name is yehuda and it was only said for the immediate generation that followed rebudakhasid but not for all of all posterity but still that doesn't make sense why doesn't he not want to name me after him wrote nachova and i quote was a very perceptive person and he realized he's not living forever one day's gonna die and a baby is born a grandchild what's the name going to be because it's the other side's turn to give a name you know they switch off the boy now this is the paternal grandfather but now it's time to give the other the maternal grandmother has her the name and she wants to give after her husband what you're not naming after buddha hasid it's during the slay symbol during the sauna how could you not do that oh it's going to be you know what keep me out of the picture not me not my father's name because upside if so how careful we have to be when it comes to these things not to make mahoikas it's so simple it's so obvious if we think a birth of a child a time of simha should never be a time of mahwaikis and the greatest skus i you could quote me in this i think this is when the person is marvata because the gemara says has a story about someone that was supposed to die and he was given extra years because he was mavata if we could say the bursa has a superpower you know the superpower is being mavata now viren al kopsov this is simple things but the basics of yiddish kite i'll give you another example a simple example but again once you you get the train of thought it becomes your your way of life if somebody's about to make a bracha on the trees during the heidi's nissan and someone said stop one second there's one fruit tree on this back in this backyard but around the corner there's a backyard that has two fruit trees and it's quoted that there's a hidden earth that make a bracha on two or more trees and this is only one tree around the corner you have two let's go around the corner says thank you very much but this tree has a special hitter so the fella asked what's the hit i don't see it he goes you know owns this house it's an armana take a look the window behind me she's looking out the window right when she waits a whole year for me to make a break on her tree i think it's a bigger hitter to make an armani happy than having two trees now is any sane person disagree with that assumption two trees is a hit one tree is also good but two is bigger but to make another person happy especially in our mana and how about for those that are have parents how important is it to be careful not to do a firm kite that causes parents are muslims you know we live in a generation a very firm generation where typically boys are firmer than their parents that's a very dangerous situation regarding keep it off you do something you want to do something firm fine but is that from if it causes parents arguments from spotted someone walking with his son middle-aged person walking with the son and the father was carrying a chair and the son was empty-handed and he rather understood because the son decided not to carry in the air this we're not talking about it questionably it was a kosher area but the sun had a chamomile to carry in the aero and he said it bothered him so deeply that he devoted the whole shmooze and yeshiva he says i saw i i saw a horrific scene because of a homura a boy makes his father carry a chair now do you hear the the sensitivity i'm not talking about a case where there's a suffix at the air of his costume but a misplaced homer and i'll tell you something i think it's a statement that will shed enough light that we can move on to another part of this year but the in shiree brought his notes on the page in yaradaya simon quotes azaya that asks a very painful question the mama rahul rahulimenu was not saying too much as my children she didn't even see benjamin she died in childbirth yes if she didn't see gang why was ma why was the mama rahul denied my children says to zaya because she caused her father ag lavan agmas nephesh when she stole his avoid desire that's what this zaya says so i learned this and i learned it again and i couldn't understand it rachel meant lesham and she did something very important preventing and she's punished for that so yes foreign this is a a situation of tadika but i think there's a very practical lesson he said he said a few of these words was it enough was it was it really thought out was it really the right thing to do because had she stole the away desire and loved him would learn his lesson and wouldn't do about desire no it's worth it just like when avrom destroyed teresa by desire terrible camp alchuma so it it had an impact it was justifiable but with lava and that wasn't the case when when rahul stole love about dessert what did he do he went to the local store and bought a dozen moa so she hurt his feelings and didn't accomplish anything what a profound appreciation of what it means hurting a parent's feeling rahul meant a thousand percent lashem but the cause apparent agmas nephesh if it's not justifiable to the nth degree you're playing with khabib you know i once added to this if you talk about a person in history that was a the ultimate madman a monster uncontrollable it was undoubtedly aesop this acer was an unstoppable monster the davis bar mitzvah did the biggest avarice and in the darkest moment of his life was when yaakov took the braches do you know what aesthetic's reaction was asap knew what he lost and he said on the spot i'm going to kill yaka for that but he didn't kill jacob right then and there even though he definitely should have based on his uh past experience what does the plastic say yikvo what stopped him rashi says those famous words abba the mere prospect the thought that i will cause my parents that's unthinkable that was something that was so unexpected acceptable that it even stopped a madman like aesop and how about a bentaira do you want to do a froomkite but is that a phrongkite or is that the ultimate crumb kite if it causes parents out by snapfish now the gemara says in an exceptional case if the parent tells you to be iva on a div ray torah don't listen but if it's just a from kite isn't that clear but let me tell you another example tyrizel is quoted as saying when a person lives his life and i'll expect skhar for all the khasiri did there will be a question a prerequisite you were a big balchester that you were involved with that organization and this gimmick very nice but how do you treat your wife you know the rambam says basically charity begins at home if you were kind and benevolent at home then you get full scar for the hested but if at home you were not so uh then the rest of it is not pure because the purest chest is what one does with his spouse because as you probably realize you don't get honor for it there's no dinner you're not the guest of honor at home and it's something that's on a constant basis but that's the real test to see the real person the way a person treats his spouse is the insight on the person's greatness i heard the summary of motherhood who heard that the second rabbitson survived the war and she lived for a few years in america incidentally and he was so much a prostitute of the sky and he wanted to go and speak to the robinson so he traveled to visit her and he says no tell me about them you know what the first words were mere oy how he treated me that's right how he treats his spouse but let me tell you a gem that's an understatement a priceless gem of mr sirs regarding one's one spouse the gemara says in brochure when they wanted to appoint azaria to be the nazi of cloud israel now you have to realize the nasi was the leader of clarissa it was like a russia shiva president god had it was the most prestigious appointment possible and they offered him the position you know what his response was i quote azo the implant i have to ask my wife what she thinks about it i don't know about you but if i was on the committee looking for a new god ladder and the candidate says let me ask my wife i would say you know what don't bother asking your wife ever get someone else oh you can't make up your own mind what does that mean they're giving you this is godless so the maritz the back of the gemara quotes the rebel of jainism that says realize that if he is going to take the appointment of being a nazi he has many more obligations and who will inevitably suffer from his absence at home from his busy schedule it's his wife you don't become a nasty in christ at someone else's expense let me first ask her if she's willing to do it which of course she did and then he accepted it what a brilliant insight we will be so overtaken by the by the the glory or the source of being a nazi but allah saw that he is affecting his wife's happiness and nothing justifies that because what a beautiful the stipela when he would make a kidney because he was giving hussein terence bereshas he would insist that he has to wash the dishes that his wife used to make the kiddish because if you're doing it for me so i have to wash the dishes now i'm not saying you have to do that but but that's that's someone that's living with what the gemara says that a person that cherishes his wife and treats her will will be shiva's now people like quick fixes school that guimara says treating your life is a school of fashions but it's more than that it's really something that gives us credit for all that we do and i'll give you another example and again each one should be a thought thought for itself but it's really impact one after the other rapamz once came to his 11th grade share it was 1952. it's important to know the date that's just about almost 70 years ago he says boys bachrim i have a problem i need your help okay everybody's listening if i need my help he says my landlord wants to raise my rent and he wants to raise my rent five dollars extra per month now of course today it sounds like a joke but in those days five dollars a lot of money and i can't afford five extra dollars per month so i said i'll give you 250 and he wasn't happy but he's not gonna throw me on the street so he'll accept it grudgingly 250 raise then i just thought about it it's almost circus and typically on circus i spend thirty dollars like in there's a lot of money i spent thirty dollars to buy a dollar minimum set this year maybe i should not buy a dollar medium set i should use the schulz dollar minim you know today we rarely see that in schools but it was and every stool had a dollar of mediums that belonged to the school and i realized that i saved 30 dollars i could give him the extra 250 per month that he wants 250 times 12 is 30 and he'll be happy and i'll be right in the midst of with the shoes though what do you think is the right thing for me to do tell me tomorrow and he dismissed the class tyra eden how would you answer that question i should use the shoes down i shouldn't buy my own esrig represents the heart and i want to have a good heart great but let's take out the for a moment he wants a raise he's entitled to a raise and you say i can't do it he's not happy about that once again but he's not going to throw you into the street so you're talking about maybe a little of xala certainly causing hard feelings and you don't want to do that you don't want to give me extra money because you have to buy dallas minimum are you hated with the shoes is it a good asterisk which is the bigger hither the hitler of an esrig or the hither of khaisha mishpat or they put a little more bluntly the estrig represents the heart but by not giving the rays you're hurting a human heart not just a connected haley how many times do people have such run-ins about a few dollars but i'm right or i think i'm right why should i give in isn't that a hitter in maintaining sholay how much do you spend for your dollar medium today a few hundred dollars how much did you spend to prevent machoichus especially when it's talking about you know we live in a very firm world everything is yoshon and it's uh only i'm still looking for lithius but everything has to be just a perfect perfect indian let me ask you a question why don't we feel an attraction to a hidden mishpat at work with a worker with a neighbor i was once talking with rebel schizophrenia about a certain issue and he literally was crying he says people are so from why don't we see from kaiden why do people come with the shyless about like and no one is willing to give in why don't we have a from kite in ishmael isn't that true isn't that a very valid point and where is that pella the rambam at the end of hilkis payalam speaks about the prototype worker yaakov how yaakov was devoted in every situation and yaakov becomes the the symbol of a jewish worker and the rambam says now we were brought up in yeshiva yaakov avinu now i'm not saying yaakov wasn't a tsadik but that wasn't his name i heard of yakova sadiq and why one place in the end of paella the rama calls is evident when it comes to mumminess because people are yes yoshan and khal of israel and glad kosher everything is fine but i should give in why should i give in and what am i a doormat no you're not a doormat you know that the essence of torah was given master shalla in bahram you know that the essence of torah is to promote shaolin and you won't spend money for every other khumra and what about something called khaisha mishpat why don't we feel a seepak in giving in to avoid mahleikas how many neighborhoods how many shules are broken because of that could have been prevented at some unknown that the essence of yiddish guide is maintaining shaolin and let me just close with one more story i guess i could say that's the synopsis of this evening i once overheard a father screaming at a son he says don't be so frum i'll tear sadiq that passage says so that's a wrong message and a wrong interpretation of the passage because the truth is a person has to be from because from china as we explained brought the gaola and al-thiazad harvey does not mean don't be from you look at the first you know what it means don't do a from kite that's really a crumb kite don't do a mitzvah that's really never and that's my message to you this evening i was very apprehensive to talk about this because i'm afraid i'll be misquoted someone will say what they talk about tonight oh he spoke all against fromkite he did not speak about that tonight my dear friends let me tell you exactly what he spoke about tonight okay he spoke about being from because from kite brought to gaoula but he also said that if you don't think from kai turns crumkite and mitsubi turn available and turned but make sure that it's from kite remains a from kite it doesn't become a crimp guide that caused the corbin let our from chitin be cherished by baryolam and hopefully our from chitin once again will bring us the goola shlaim amen thank you all very much dinner that was originally scheduled for wednesday has been postponed for a couple of weeks he'll be in borough park resident hashem but meanwhile wednesday night there'll be a shareholder of the natin gibson will be saying ishir with technology and of shabbos and i would like to have the great of the bus territory by putting an ad in the journal that i'll be publishing on of the event or sponsoring one of the remaining worldwide of ignorance throughout the year called ignore terror at one eight 718-851-8600 five one or email ergon yeshiva net.com at the moment [Music]