From a Posture of Exile to Redemption || "An Evening with the Rebbe" at Chabad of California

[music] the yeshiva.net. >> Please let us welcome Rabbi Jacobson and thank you for coming to join us tonight. [applause] A memory. I was a child at the time or at least a very young man. I can't remember which year exactly but it was in the 80s in the 1980s. It was the night of some and I had a place near my uh father of blessed memory in the front of the shul in the front of 770 Eastern Parkway very close to where the labava stood prayed danced, celebrated some. The place was packed. A room that probably legally should fit no more than 2500, maybe 3,000 people was filled to capacity and beyond capacity. And to me, it looked like there were 7, 8, 9,000 people hanging from the beams and every nook and cranny had somebody. The fact that everybody survived and are here, some of us here to tell the tale was a miracle in and of itself. As you know, there are seven hkafas and I can't remember which one, but one of them they honored the Reb's legendary ambassador to the west coast of the United States of America, Rabbi Schlunan with that hakafa. I think they gave him what's known as Msiahra, which is a very large Torah that was began began in the 1940s by the previous labb. He said he wants to write a Torah to greet Msiach. The Rebba completed the Torah in 1970 and they would take it out once in a while, usually once a month. Shabas was a very big Torah. It's still used with a crown, a beautiful crown, but it's a heavy Torah. And Rabbi Kunan [clears throat] today he's even younger than he was then. Then he was also young. Today he told me yesterday he's becoming younger and younger. We went from the aresh from the front the ark to the beimma which was towards the back of the shul. They called it a then and of course you would encircle it and then dance. As he took the Torah I was standing there and he walked to the place to go dance at the beimma. So you walked by pretty close proximity to the rebba who was facing the crowd and looking at the people carrying the Torah. Rabbi Kunan took the first one and then there were a few other people who joined him because they would take all the Toras to go dance at each of the hakafas. I could see that the Reb was staring at him as he was carrying the Torah. I don't know if he saw cuz he had to hold on to the Torah, but I could just look at the Reb. And as he was coming close, I saw that the Reb bent over a little bit. I wanted to tell him something, but didn't want it should be loud. So he was like bending over to him. The Reb's head a little reclined and the Reb didn't call him over because he was holding the Torah. So the Reb like approached him and the Reb told him two words. Now I don't know if anybody else in 770 heard those words. Rabbi Kunan heard them because the Reb told it to him. I don't even know if the Reb secretary Rabbi Groner heard it cuz he was a little further away and it was so noisy. The place was so noisy. you have 9,000 people, 10,000 people, it was very hard to hear anything. But because I was a kid and I like to push to the front and I was very attentive to these things. So I heard it. I can't say nobody else heard it. Maybe there were others also, but it didn't seem to me that certainly too many people heard it. I still remember it because it was a combination. The Reb had a glow on his face and he said something very, very deep. I didn't understand it fully then, but I heard it. And as the Reb said it, there was a half a smile on his face. It was more of a glow than a smile. It was an instruction for life. And it was also what you call in the lexicon of a which means a very deep form of intimate sharing. And as was walking with the bent over, he didn't whisper in his ear, but he turned towards his ear and said something. It wasn't a whisper because he wanted he should hear it obviously, but he said it in a lower tone. And he said two words, and that is toyu. I heard it myself. I was there. It's not on video. It's not on video. It's not on jam. You're not going to see it on the video, but I was there. I heard it. Yeah, that's it. And he went on with the safetra. There was a glow as I told you on the face of the reb as he said it. As I grew up and I learned a little more what toyu is, it's a very charged term in cabalistic andidic literature. And very very briefly and generally I will not have the audacity to try to interpret what the rebba meant and why he told it to Rabbi Kun. That's probably Rabbi Schmi would know that better than I because I've never asked him about it. But I'm still going to with my own little kutzbah take a punch and tell you what I have heard the way I understood it because I think it's relevant to all of us especially as we're here in the west coast commemorating both the yard site of rabbi of blessed memory the son of rabbi schlom and rabbitson tanga and of course the next day the third of tamos the art the Reb himself. In cababalistic andidic literature, the word which comes from the opening of Genesis toyu represents the beginning of all creation in which the energy was infinitely powerful and yet too intense for the vessels. And thus the result teaches there was a there was a rupture a breaking of the containers because the light was overwhelming. And on the debris of that world of intense divine light, God built a new world called the world of tik, the world of construction, the world of integration, the world of synthesis, the world of symmetry where the light dilutes itself to be able to be contained by the vessels, by the containers. In his historic talk that Raikun mentioned that the Reba gave on the 28th of Nissen in 1991, literally 12 months to the day of his stroke. The Reb said, "I want to ask everybody to do whatever they can to bring redemption through is the tick through through the lights of chaos of intense infinity in the containers of in other words to combine the two." I heard those words, but I heard it first when he told Rabbi Kunan And I think part of what he was saying is the revolution that happened here in the in the west coast was really a revolution that the would call to which means it happened and it happens through very very intense faith, conviction, trust and resilience. It comes from the unwavering trust in God's oneness and presence in every aspect of the world and every aspect of our life. Anoid mulvad there's nothing beside him without that powerful conviction without that powerful faith. How do you achieve the impossible? When Kunan moved here to California 1965 I think I heard this from him many years ago. He met a very prominent Jewish leader here in ' 65. Now 1965 is not 2026. I don't know if California had one kosher restaurant then. I don't know. Rabbi Kunan, there was one kosher restaurant. Not one. I doubt it. Not one. You wanted you saw you milk the cow. Yeah. You went to the cow. You milked the cow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he met a prominent Jewish leader. And the leader said, "You can go back home to Brooklyn. this is not for you. So he told him, he said, "The work here to spread Yiddish kite is beginning. It's your choice. Either you're going to jump on the train and come along or you won't have the fortune. You won't have the opportunity. It takes a tremendous sense of tou of focus, razor sharp, intense focus to be able to say, as General Montgomery once said, the impossible, the difficult we do immediately. The impossible takes a little longer. And yet at that moment Torah when the gates are open and the joy of ecstasy fills the world and especially in the Reb's four cubits he was giving his faithful ambassador and emissary even a deeper message and [snorts] that is you and I know the power of and yet Our job is integration. Take the infinite light and bring it into the vessels. Bring it into the channels. They tell a story, a beautiful story. The holy of bardich. And the alterba, the founder of kabat married, their grandchildren married each other. It was a famous wedding in Ukraine in the call it happened. What would that be? 1807 in Ukraine. There were and alterba came for that Friday. Shabas Sunday was parasite June 1807 in. And they were going to the took place Friday afternoon. That was the affordable way of making a wedding. You make a Friday afternoon and the Friday night meal is the wedding. It covers a lot of the expenses. You could try it. You'll save like 70 $80,000. You just do a Friday night meal with canned gap filt fish. The vianese table will be some babka. So it was a Friday afternoon wedding and the alterba and the badicha they were and they were such close friends students of the maga. They were walking to the kupa and there was a door to go to the kupa outdoors but it was a very narrow entrance only one person could walk at a time. So now the classical Jewish question who goes first? So the holy tells, you go first. He says, "No, you're older. You go first." Says, "Yeah, but you're much of a greater scholar. You go first." And they're arguing back and forth. The and are waiting. They must have been hungry, too. And the alterb are arguing who goes first. Said something and he said it, he did not mean it with a drama. He said, "Let's walk through the wall. Let's break through. Let's go through the wall. And alterba said, "No, no zater. Let the door expand." It seems like cliche, but it's really a powerful powerful message in life. The bad said there are no walls. When you see a wall, it's just there to walk through. There's no real walls in the life. The alterb said, "Let the door expand." The truth is that ultimately godliness must be revealed within the containers of the psyche, within the containers of the human spirit, within the world. Not because we conformed to nature, but because the entire purpose of creation was to transform the natural to show that the ordinary was extraordinary and that ultimately the intimate essence of God can dwell in the human frail, flimsy, beautiful, vulnerable heart of the human psyche. Don't escape your humanness. Don't avoid your regular your regularity. You don't have to flee to another realm, to another world. The lights of tou can be integrated into the world of tikun, into the containers. Don't become limited by the containers. Don't surrender to the medioc mediocrity. But remember that true true healing, true oneness is never about fleeing. It's not a journey to another world, another realm where you discover enlightenment today. A lot of people into healing. And the mistake that some make is to suddenly see the light, pun intended, and they forget the vessels. They see the light and they don't realize that God is not defined by light just as he's not defined by vessels. Musain truth transcends lights transcends vessels and therefore can integrate and unify both. So those two words I had the privilege of hearing the rabbi tell Rabbi at night with such a glowing face like a father mentoring a childish to really for me represent such a powerful message in life. Never ever give up on yourself on your family on your community on God's world. If the purpose was just heaven, we could have stayed in heaven. That's what the spies wanted. The spies said, "Let's stay in paradise. Let's stay in heaven." But the purpose was let the door become wider. Expanse of consciousness can happen here now, inside my home, inside my work, inside my limitations. Yes, there are moments I need to break free. There are moments I need to shatter my vessels and then I have to come back. It says about he went into the orchard but he also knew how to leave the orchard. His friends did not. Benazi died. Ben Za lost regular consciousness. Alicia Benuya became a heretic. Rabaka understood the power of integration. Bashalam he went in in peace. Shalom. He came out in peace and says his secret was what the Gmorra says in before he went into the orchard he saidim. Don't say water water. So quotes and says what's water water. On the second day of creation God said let there be a firmament to split the water. There's the higher water and there's the lower water. The higher water is divine infinite bliss. Lower water is the bliss that we have from the material world. There's usually a split between the two. Said don't say water water. There's only one source of bliss. And anybody who's honest and authentic will know that there's no other bliss and that higher bliss becomes the lower bliss as the lights are integrated into the vessels. And I think this gives us a vista into understanding one of the profoundest one of the most incredible teachings of the Rebba that he taught our generation. And with each year you could see how these teachings become more and more relevant. I had the privilege the last years of the Reb's talks to be on the team of oral scribes who had to memorize and transcribe the talks. It was not an easy job. It was not easy because the Reb did not give a short sermon. Half of it was not. You know, you know how sermons are, right? Rabbi Jonathan Saxalam from Britain would say, "What's the difference between a sermon, a party, and a faban?" You know the difference? A party, everybody talks and nobody listens. A sermon, one person talks and nobody listens. They call him the rabbi usually. a fabbrangan. He says nobody talks and everybody listens. Well, the Reb didn't give those sermons with a joke, with a story. His Fabangans could go for two hours, but also for three, four, five, six, seven hours. And on Shabas, nothing was recorded. Everything had to be memorized. I was still a yeshiva student, but I had the privilege of joining the older scribes, Jabiel Khan, my brother, and others who were involved in that team. I listened well. I listened attentively. It was a great privilege and honor and I'm thankful to Hashem for the opportunity and the gift. But as the Talmud says in a des takes 40 years for a student to understand what his teacher was saying. Now it's been 40 years literally and I go back constantly talk after talk that I heard that I transcribed and I reread it and I remember them but I understand it completely in a different way. Thank God we absorbed the words. We wrote them down. We internalize them. But four decades have passed. Three decades have passed and the words now come out in they come into my heart and my soul. They land in a new way. One of those talks was also the night of some. This was the last that the Reb came downstairs to shul was 1991 B before huff. There was a faban at 9:00. It would go for 3 hours till 12. Then they would set up the shul for the dancing and 1:00 a.m. began hakus and it went for a few hours at that last because that year the had a stroke. He said something during the fabbran rabb was also there. He would come every year. I was standing just a few feet away because I was standing in front because I wanted to hear better. So I was standing right in the front just a few feet away from him. And the Rebba said something I'll never forget very very very deep very heavy and I don't think I I I'm not going to tell you I understand it now but I think I understand it a little better than I understood it then he said there's a Mishna the Mishna says at the end of track kadushi I was created to serve my maker that's a statement in Mishnayas kadush comes the says there's another version in that Mishna because the Mishna is so ancient not all the texts were transmitted accurately to the point that sometimes there's an argument about how to phrase it and here the slowmo brings another version I was not created only to serve my maker at the surface what's the difference what's the difference if you say Yeah, I eat only cheesecake. Or you say, I don't need anything, only cheesecake. What's the difference? What's the difference if you say I was created to serve my maker or I wasn't created only to serve my maker? It seems like classic Jewish semantics. So the Reb said, "No, it's a different level of consciousness. One level of consciousness is I was created. Why was I created? I'm looking for purpose." Yeah. In California, everybody's looking for purpose, right? In New York, we have the Knicks. We don't need purpose. But in California, [laughter] and Musk became a trillionaire, so we're good to go in New York. We're good. But in uh in California, you're looking for purpose. No. So, we say, "I was created. You know why? I was created to serve my maker." That's one level of consciousness. There's another level of consciousness. I was not created only to serve my maker. What's the difference? And the Rebi revealed that there are two stages in life. There's a stage in life where there's an I. I was created. Here I am. Now the question is why? For what? For what purpose? The answer is to serve God. The Reb said that's not the way to live. The way to live is I wasn't created. What do you mean I wasn't created? Here I am. Hello only to serve my maker. And then he said these words and I quote to you what I heard myself from the Reba. He said and this may be the explanation for the fact that we are still in exile. Why? We have mastered the first state of consciousness but not the second. We have fulfilled. What we're still seeking is and this may explain what is needed for the transition of exile to redemption. And then of course he wouldn't leave it that way. And he said that now this obstacle has also been removed so the redemption can come. What did he mean with these words? Very, very mystical. And yet here again, I want to try to offer a gentle offering. And I ask God to allow me to be a channel. We're experiencing something very strange in all of our lives. At least what I see in my own life and in many others, friends and students and audiences the world over, including in the West Coast. On one hand, we're living in extraordinary times where there is so much prosperity and blessing, right? Compare California 1965 when Rabbi Kunan stepped foot into California together with Rabbit Sincan and California 2026 and do this throughout the whole world. The renaissance, the rejuvenation as in JW of the Jewish world is incredible. Soon in a few years, more than half of the Jewish people will be living in the Holy Land. This didn't happen since the times of King Solomon. It's not a small thing. There are 6.6 million Jews today living in Erit Israel in the Holy Land. Hopefully, we'll soon all be there. 6.6 million. That's not a small number. In 47, there were 600,000 Jews living there. After 6 million were killed, 1% killed in 48 in the Independence War. In terms of physical prosperity, you can't even compare to what we have today to what our great-grandparents couldn't even dream of. In terms of institutions and Torah learning and yeshivas and kaleim and of course kosher food, incredible websites with all types of opportunities. And yet we also find something else. And that is there's a mental health crisis by so many anxiety like we've never seen before. And nobody knows where did this anxiety come from. What is everybody anxious about, right? You ever hear when mothers start preaching to their kids? When I was young, you think life wasn't miserable. And she tells you, "Of course, mama. You were miserable then, you're miserable now. And I don't want to be miserable like you. So, some people blame the internet. Who are you looking for? Your daughter? Some people blame the internet. Some people say they're just a bunch of spoiled, narcissistic, bratty, entitled teenagers. If that makes you happy, knock yourself out. That's not what's going on. What's going on is there is a shift of consciousness and as always young people pick it up and either we tune in and we crack open our egos and hearts or we sink into cynicism, despair, bitterness and anxiety. And it's that shift of consciousness that the Reb identified that the last he spoke. It's a shift from toi. It's a shift from I was created to serve my maker which is amazing. But that is still the posture of exile. And then there is the posture of redemption. And the posture of redemption is I was not created only to serve my maker. It sounds very very tough but really it's the most liberating experience in the world. The most liberating experience in the world. One of the most amazing teachings of the mag of Misri the teacher of the alterba is as follows. Those of you who remember a little bit of the prophets, Kings 2, chapter 3, Elisha the prophet is consulted by two kings who want to declare war on Moyov. But he can't prophesize. You know why? Because in order to prophesize, you need to be in a happy state. Your heart has to be open. And Alicia was very, very angry and dejected because of the idolatry of the time. And Alicia was seeking release. He was seeking serenity so that he could prophesize. And he turns to the kings and he says, Fine for me. Find for me a composer, a singer, a vocalist, a musician. I need I need music. I need song. love. As the singer began to sing, the hand of God rested on Alicia and he began to prophesize from learns in divine presence dwells amidst joy. And by the way, that piece of advice, I'm not going to tell this story now. left from Kunan directly as I did. But this got him a million dollars. This piece of advice, much more than a million, a couple of million dollars. It saved him. He was once at a court case. He was losing horribly. He called Rabbi Khadakov who told him in the Reb's name, you should be joyous in the telephone booth. Those are the days of the telephone booth. All of a sham. You remember you put a dime into the telephone booth. Rabbi said the Reb said you should be joy. So what do in the telephone? He didn't wait. You know, you don't wait, right? He starts dancing in the telephone booth. He starts dancing at the telephone booth. He's ready to now too. You see, it doesn't take much. The lawyers, IT'S A IT'S A TRUE STORY. The lawyers FROM THE OTHER SIDE WALK BY and they see this man dancing, right? They have two conclusions. Either he's a lunatic or his lawyer has some evidence that's going to kill them to be able to claim the money. They got so petrified they settled on an amazing an amazing settlement. There it goes. Yes, it's a true. [laughter] The source of this is start singing. Start singing. >> Yes. Exactly. Exactly. Thank you. Somebody's listening. Everybody else, you always have to follow the beat of the kids, of the children. You got to follow them. They know exactly what they're saying. And when they tell you to be quiet. >> Yes. Exactly. [laughter] I'm fine, by the way. In the olden days, I would get very self-conscious. Can you please take out your children? They said not for children. But the galdic. Okay. Certainly. Which niggan does she want to sing? So, so ask the mag. What's a redundancy? He just said, "Open your heart, says the mag of rich as follows [laughter] [snorts] says the maggot of Mizri, when anybody performs a concert, when anybody sings, there's A huge difference between the vocalist, the musician and the musical instrument. The musical instrument is never self-conscious. The musician or the vocalist, the caner, the singer are very self-conscious. NEVER DID IT happen that the violin comes home after the concerto and the violin turns to Mr. Pearlman or Joshua Bell and says, "Hey, you think I did a good job? They liked me. They're going to hire me again. I'm a Stratavarius. You know that I'm a Stratavarius. They're going to hire me again. I didn't do [snorts] such a good job. No. Why was Yankl texting during my thing? Why did Spenca walk out a middle? The violin, the guitar, the cello, even the drum. They don't ask those questions. They did their job next. But the musician, the vocalist, THE RABBI, THE SPEAKER, you think they like me? You think they're going to invite me again? Next time I could charge more. Why is he talking in the MIDDLE OF MY SPEECH? The musician, the caner, the vocalist, the speaker, they're very self-conscious. Says the mag. When the menag becomes the niggan, when the one singing becomes like the musical instrument and like the song itself, the notes are not self-conscious. That's when the divine presence dwells on him or her. Once asked a great pianist from Carnegie Hall, I said, "How do you know your concert is successful? How do you know nobody's texting? How do you know?" And he said, "I know my concerto was successful when in the middle of the concert I'm not there anymore. My fingers are just channels for the music. As long as I'm there, as long as I can hear myself, see myself, the energy is getting stuck. It's getting obstructed through my ego. When I'm not there, there's no eye. My eye merges with source. I go into flow of when the niggan becomes the niggan. The mag of mis says as follows. God tells Isaiah Yeshu the prophet chapter 58 in the Yamipper and he says IN MY DEAR PROPHET CALL OUT WITH YOUR throat don't ABSTAIN lift up your voice like a chauffeur like a ram's horn and then share with my people their sins and their transgressions. And the maget says, "What does it mean?" What is it? Like a chauffeur, RAISE YOUR VOICE. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE IF it's a ram's horn or another instrument? And the maggot says as follows. Open your heart, my dearest friends. A chauffeur does not create the sound. A chauffeur channels the sound. Whose sound is it? The one who blows the chauffeur. So why do you need a chauffeur? The answer is the chauffeur channels the sound and as it's channelneled through the chauffeur it has a special resonance. What does the chauffeur need in order to be a good chauffeur? You have to hollow out the marrow from within the chauffeur make it empty. If I take a chauffeur and I blow and the marrow is inside you're not going to hear anything. But if the chauffeur is empty and then I take it on RASHANA AND I BLAST IT SUDDENLY YOU'LL HEAR D SAYS THE MAGID. GOD TELLS A PROPHET. YOU WANT TO SPEAK to people about THEIR SINS? NO PROBLEM. BUT MAKE SURE YOU'RE a chauffeur. Make sure it's NOT YOUR WORDS. IF IT'S going to BE YOUR WORDS, IT'S GOING TO GET STUCK IN YOUR INSECURITIES, in your ego, in your brokenness. YOU'RE A SHOW FOR YOUR JOB IS HOLLOW OUT YOUR EGO. TAKE YOURSELF OUT OF THE PICTURE. BECOME A CHANNEL FOR GOD'S VOICE, for God's sound. LET IT BE CHANNELED through you, not created through you. And then it will resonate far and wide. THEN YOU COULD TELL PEOPLE anything because you're not getting in the way. Once you're in that space, you can share the truth because people don't become defensive when they feel that you're channeling source rather than trying to score points or validate your own brokenness that you're looking to build. So, this is what the pianist told me. I know I'm successful when I'm not there. I know in my own life, in my own life, I had to do a lot of work in this area because there were times I finished a speech and seeking validation, I knew that I became in between. I came in between me and the message. The greatest moments are the moments when I internally I know that it's a gift to be a channel and if somebody comes to me afterwards and thanks me for what I said in my past reincarnation which was not long ago I would say I would try to get more compliments from them. I wouldn't say it because I didn't want to make a fool out of myself, but I would think, "Come on, come on, move on. Go, go on, go on. You don't have to stop." And then they WOULD SAY, "OH, YOU PROBABLY DON'T HAVE to hear it." And I'm like, "Of course I have to hear it." OH, PROBABLY EVERYBODY TELLS YOU. Not enough. He likes it. Okay, good. I'm happy. Of course, I didn't want to say it, but in a manipulative, wise, sly way, I tried to feed my insecure ego. Today I've learned I'm still working on it, but I've learned a little more the words of the mag. The moment I'm seeking and I'm taking that compliment for myself, rather than giving it back to Hashem, I'm actually stealing. It's actually an act of theft. Somebody once wrote brilliantly, "Creativity is eavesdropping on God. And when you eaves drop on God, don't steal it. says it when you say something in the name of the one who said it and you don't plagiarize you bring redemption says the Prague in his commentary everything in the world is being spoken by God when you say something say it in the name of the one who said it in fact that is what creativity is creativity comes from the word creative creator. When your eavesdropping on God, you become the most creative. And when you become a full channel, then you're the most creative ever. You know why? Because the ego is fake. The ego stands for easing greatness out, easing God out, easing goodness out. The ego is the burden of having to attribute existence to that which doesn't exist. How torturous is that? The greatest liberation in the world is when I can let go. It's not easy work. This is the daily work of called ble. Let go. Let go. Surrender. Be a shifer. BE A CHANNEL. AND PARADOXICALLY, that's when you BECOME THE MOST POWERFUL VERSION OF SELF because you're a channel for divine infinity. You become a ram's horn, a scheer that channels the only source of existence and creativity. AND WHEN SOMEBODY GIVES THAT BACK TO YOU AND SAYS, "THANK YOU." And I could somebody says to me, "Thank you." And I could look and say, "Thank you, Hashem, for allowing me to be your emissary, your ambassador, your channel." I can't tell you that I'm always there. I'm not always there. And you better tell me after the speech that it was good. Okay? You make sure [laughter] business is business, but pleasure is pleasure. But it's at least something I deeply aspire to. As a wise man once said, you know the definition of humility, what is humility? Humility is not thinking less of yourself. That's not humility. Humility is thinking of yourself less because you realize that your ultimate self is the self that's just channeling the divine. And any other version of self is usually broken, insecure, and seeking to create something out of nothing that will remain nothing. And it's a desperate attempt for people to validate that which essentially is a bottomless pit of ay of nothingness. in the Reb's core teachings of what it means to be a human being, what it means to be a Jew, what it means to be audiiently, he said, "You're not a drop in the ocean. You're the entire ocean in a drop." That's what real Bittle is. You're not a drop in the ocean. You're not a inconsequential blimp of valuelessness on the surface of infinity. You're the entire ocean in a drop. The entire OCEAN CAN BE REFLECTED THROUGH YOU AND IN YOU, BUT only with one condition. And that is if I hollow out my chauffeur. If I hollow out my ego. If instead of it becoming me, I'm turned into a channel. And you know what that does to people's marriages? And you know what that does to people's relationships with their children, especially in the years of teenagers when you want to kill them? IT TRANSFORMS EVERYTHING. IMAGINE A HUSBAND AND a wife. Lots of people are struggling with their marriages today. That's a fact. If you're not, get out right now. The only marriages that I know that are perfect are the marriages I don't know. Well, imagine if a husband and a wife are doing this type of work. They could look into each other's eyes and instead of becoming defensive when the other person points something out that bothered them, they can actually lean in, soften [snorts] their heart, open their soul, let go of their ego, and ask God to channel truth through them, and look into the other person's eyes and say, "Thank you for caring enough to hold up a mirror of truth to me. >> [applause] >> It takes two to do this work. If you're the only one doing it in your marriage, you can do it. It's hard. You need God very, very much at your side. When you have two people doing the work together, it's painful, but it's also deeply, deeply blissful. And you know what happens in your relationship with your children? You know what happens when parents don't have to be defensive anymore? You know what happens when parents actually don't have to live vicariously through the nas they're getting from their kids? You know what happens when mothers and fathers actually start regulating themselves and believe that they have their own relationship with God and that their children have their own journeys that they can support, respect, hold space for, love, pray, and not become entangled in misery because of my child's struggles, but gradually be a present father, a present mother to be able to look into their eyes and say I am fine and you're going to be fine. This is not about my ego because you were not created to make me feel good about myself. LOOK AT MY NAS. LOOK AT MY KIDS. I HATCH THEM. I match them. I dispatch them. [laughter] It used to work that way. You hatch them. YOU MATCH THEM. YOU DISPATCH THEM. And then you ask them to call you and you'll pay for half the bus mitzvah. IN TODAY'S WORLD, BETWEEN HATCHING and matching, you want to kill yourself a h 100 times. Between hatching and matching, you don't know if you're coming or you're going. YOU HAVE TRIED EVERY TYPE OF THERAPY and breath work in the world AND YOU'RE STILL OVERWHELMED AND ANXIOUS and confused. There's one way. Go from anci to anoi. As long as this is me, me me and I was created to serve God. The Reb says you're in exile. Today we can step into the posture of redemption. The posture of redemption is [crying] I am not a drop in the ocean. I am the entire ocean in a drop. For that I have to be ready to say I was not created. What do you mean? Who am I? Hashem is the only reality and we are channels. And from that moment your ani turns into ayen. The letters of ani. Alf are the same letters likein. Ayin is not translated as nothing. Ayin is translated as no thing. You become the creative channel of sorts. You become the creator not because your ego is big because you let go. This is what we call the ego death. It's what we call pit limitas. It's what the posture of redemption looks like where people can actually celebrate the divine frequency in themselves and in others because you can't see it in others if you don't see it in yourself. And the litmus test for this is this is a type of humility that doesn't make you anxious and desperate. It's a type of humility that makes you alive and joyless. I know when I go into those moments when I have a privilege of opening up a chapter of Tanya, a discourse of the alterba or of the Reb and learning about this experience and if God gives me a gift at those moments, I could let go for a few minutes of my self-consciousness and melt into ecstasy. There is no bliss like the bliss that comes when your ego dies and you channel source and then arrogance is not just wrong it's foolish. Addictions, cravings, insecurities, defense mechanisms become so out of style. It becomes so pathetic. It's like you're so rich, you're infinite, and suddenly I'm turning myself into this pathetic, wretched, egotistical schmata. Even if I can get 10 minutes of fame, how do I compare that with touching the energy of the divine? A mentor of mine told me something. It was a life-changing message. He said, Rabbi Wa, he said, I want to tell you something about yourself. Even if your ego's ambitions will be fulfilled completely and you will have YouTube videos watched not by a 100,000 people, not by 3 MILLION PEOPLE, BUT BY 7 AND A HALF BILLION people including Trump himself. before I ran, after I ran, 7 billion people. I know it's not practical. 7 billion people are not ON YOUTUBE. BUT LET'S SAY YOUR EGO WILL MEET ITS SUCCESS AND HAVE 7 BILLION VIEWS. And you're looking at yourself AND YOU'RE LIKE, "WOW, I'M A SUCCESS STORY." He says, "Realize that you haven't even scratched the surface of your true greatness, which is channel of the divine. What the alterba came to teach the world was that we deprive ourselves of our own identity of our richness. When we live in the posture of competitiveness, of ego, of defense mechanisms, it's not because we're secure. It's because we're broken. Now, WE HAVE TO HOLD SPACE for that brokenness. We have to hold space for the fact that when I finish this speech and somebody sends me a text that I don't like, my ego may be resurrected within two and a half seconds and everything I said can be thrown into the dust bin because now I am really angry at that obnoxious, narcissistic, bratty, self-centered, envious, jealous idolatrer who's not soothing and caressing my ego the way it should be tonight. And that's where the animal soul comes right back into the picture. And alterba teaches us in Tanya, the battle continues for another day with the gift of going back to truth. And here, my friends, my dearest friends, holy brothers and holy sisters, I learned with you a piece of Talmud. It's one of those mysterious pieces of Talmud. And you could see that it's alluding to such transcendent and powerful truths which I think today we can understand. It's the opening of the whole track page three Rabzar says the night has three sections three watches at each one God cries for the exile and the brokenness in the world and the destruction of Jerusalem and the temple. He cries and roars like a lion at each one of the three sections. And then the Talmud says, "And we notice it also down here." The first section of the nighter, the donkey braze. The second section of the night, the dogs bark. And the third section of the night, when the night is coming to an end and it's about to yield to dawn break, is that's the moment that the infant begins nursing from his mother and a woman begins conversing with her husband. Rashi says as dawn is about to break and people used to go to sleep at a normal hour which means by sunset Tati and mommy wake up and when is a better time to have a schmoo than right before dawn break and sunrise. The world is quiet the cell phones are not working. Nobody's calling you. The kids are not up yet. You don't have to make pancakes or serve Cheerios. Depends if the woman is home or the man is home. [snorts] At that moment, the Talmud says, "Everybody's still lying in bed. It's relaxed. They had a good night's sleep. Hopefully, is the woman just converses and tells stories to her husband." And that's the sign that morning is about to come. And the says, "Why is this relevant?" It says, "Cuz if you're in a dark house and you don't SEE THE LIGHT OUTSIDE, WHEN YOU SEE THE woman conversing with her husband, you could say What is the meaning of this? What is the meaning of this? The Maharal, the Beneskai say these are three sections of the night of exile. There's the dunkey braaying, the dog, dog barking, and the woman conversing with her husband. And that's right before dawn. Kamar comes from the word, materialism. The Beneshai writes in his book bin Rabbi the rabbi of Baghdad passed away in 1900. He writes in his commentary in the beginning the Greek philosophers at the end of the first temple and beginning of the first temple introdu in the beginning of the second temple introduced the reality of everything is measured by material measurements. The concept of God flowing through the universe was reduced to everything being understood and measured by the human brain. If the brain can see it and measure it, it exists. If not, it doesn't exist. The world became a place of materialism. The dunkey braze. The Benishai says kev the dog. It says in Kabal is a combination of two words. Kev ko le. It's all emotion. Man's best friend, woman's best friend. California, you know this especially kev koul. It's when humanity evolved and understood that if society is built based only on cold logic and measurements, we lose the instinct for life. You can't live life through your brain. Just like you can't eat chocolate cake with your brain. I would like to, but it doesn't work. You can't live life through your brain. I tried many years. You live life through your heart. A life that is only brainy and not emotional is a dead man or woman walking. It's true many of us shut down our hearts to avoid pain. We became very brainy and intellectual. Those here who are Ashkanazm know very well what I'm talking about and not all the fire them are liberated from this disease. But the fact is the Persians I'm not going to talk about. [applause] I'll let your wives do the talking about that. I don't mix into politics. Yes, we have shut down our hearts. There comes a point where life in recent generations more emotion much more emotion. But the Benes says here too when emotions are not anchored in the truth of God and the truth of Torah, they can also take you astray. People sometimes say, "I'm following my my heart." Of course, I'm following my heart and my heart is sick. I'm following my heart, but my heart is filled with skeletons. I'm following my heart, but my heart is filled with trauma. I'm following my heart, but my heart is simply responding to terrible pain. I don't know the depth of my heart because it's not anchored in any truth that transcends my ego. So, you have to be careful also with the dog. There's the dunkey and there's the dog. And then comes the third era of night, the end of exile, right before dawn breaks. And the Talmud says, "Isa, that's the time that the woman converses with her husband." The feminine side of humanity emerges and turns to the masculine and tells the masculine, "I need to be heard. I have a story to tell. I need to share this story. It's what everybody is observing right now. Isa the feminine softer more sensitive and emotional side in all of us is looking for a voice. The entire mental health crisis that you're seeing is not because this generation is narcissistic and pathetic. On the contrary, it's the generation that's preparing us for redemptive consciousness. And redemptive consciousness means that all the parts of me need to be able to find God. I need to be able to find intimacy with God. Not by force, not by coercion, not by being it shoved down my throat, not by being beaten into compliance, but by a full celebration of integration. Every teenager that I know in the world wants to let go of their ego. Everybody is sick and tired of ani. Everybody is looking for. I have I do not find today happy people walking around with egos. In the past, people could still delude themselves. I'm doing well. I made money. I'm a scholar. I'm a Today, everybody's miserable. Everybody Everybody's walking around. When you see somebody happy, you want to know what did you take last night? What's wrong with you? You're going to prison. What happened? What happened? When you see people are happy, you're very, very suspicious. Oh, you're miserable. Barak Hashem, welcome to the club. You have a stomach ache. Thank God you're having a stroke. Okay, what else is going on? Let's call it people. Mate, every younger you are, the more miserable you are, right? If you're like 95, you're ja happy golucky. But if you're like 18 years old, you're you're carrying the whole WORLD ON YOUR WHAT ARE YOU WHAT ARE YOU CARRYING? WHAT ARE you carrying? What's the issue? There's something deep going on. And that is everybody is looking for Msiah. They're looking for Ion means let go of the knee. But how do I let go of thi if you're going to stab me? We cannot let go of the knee if we're not feeling safe. That's where ishamaris and bil this is where the internal heart is looking to be heard to be understood. Hold me, embrace me, and tell me that I can trust God, that I'm loved, that I wasn't created to be crushed and beaten. I wasn't created in order to be dismissed. I wasn't created in order to be a robot. I wasn't created because there is a sinister force that just wants to bully me. That at the core of everything is love. We come from radical infinite love. We return to radical infinite love. And during our sojourn here on earth where we don't feel it, we get to choose radical infinite love. And with that single teaching, the BMP began to regulate the world and heal the Jewish people from the trauma of exile. simply with that teaching presence. presence. Presence there's a rashiva in Israel. His name is Rabbi Bumi Freedelland. Rabbi Ara Freedelland very very special man. He's a gone. He's a genius. He's a great talmudic scholar. I've heard classes from him. Really brilliant man. He grew up in Toronto. He was born in 1946. Grew up in Toronto in a traditional Jewish family. And then at some point he became a and became one of the very dedicated of the Rebba and a great great today in Kirat Gat. And I once asked once one of his family members how did your father end up becoming a disciple of the Reb? And he said it happened when his fillain was stolen. I'm like what happened? He said I'll tell you the story. He was learning in Toronto. He was a kid about a mitzvah kid 13 years old and he had a teacher in Toronto school. His name was Rabbi Aka Greenberg. All of our shalom professor Rabbi Aka Greenberg interesting character a car very charismatic person. And one day Rabaka Greenberg was teaching his class in Toronto and he shared with them that in Brooklyn there is a Jew who is a great saddic who has a vision for the entire Jewish world who loves every Jew and everybody whenever you need something you can write him a letter and he answers everybody. This is in the 50s the 1950s. The rebba was a young new rebba. Okay. Life moves on and boommy freed fillain gets stolen from the locker one day. It's not comfortable. SOMEBODY STOLE HIS FING. HE CAN'T FIND THE THIEF AND he can't FIND HIS FILLING. SO THEN HE REMEMBERS THAT HIS TEACHER RABBI GREENBERG SAID THAT THERE'S A SADIC IN BROOKLYN. YOU COULD WRITE HIM A LETTER. AND HE SAYS, "YOU KNOW WHAT? HE MUST BE able to tell me who the thief is." You remember the story? King Saul went to Samuel and asked him where are the donkeys, right? and he became a king in the process. He lost his donkeys and he found a crown. He asks, it's a letter to Brooklyn, Bumi Freedellander, I hear that you're a sadic. Can you please tell me who STOLE THE FILLAIN? WHO MOVED my trees and where are my fillin? A little while later, he gets back a letter from the labavba to a 13-year-old boy in Toronto named Bumi Freedelland. And the Rabbi acknowledges his letter, expresses his sympathy, and then apologizes for the fact that he can't really tell him who the thief is or where it fillinar. But then the Reb writes something that shocked this young boy and he said, "I do want to ask you a personal favor." The Reb is asking me a favor. What's the favor? Says as follows. The law in the code of law chapter 25 is that if somebody steals and they put on the they're not doing a mitzvah. In fact, it's an insult to God. It's repulsive. It's called mitzvah. I steal your fillin. I put it on. God says I'm not interested. Don't do a mitzvah by sinning, by hurting somebody else. And therefore, they shouldn't put on the fill in. They shouldn't make a blessing. It's a what happens if they sell the filling to somebody else. Here the alterb says in if the owner gave up on it the second person fulfills the mitzvah. Others say the t the say that they still shouldn't make a braha. It's very complicated. So the rebba writes that this 13year-old says I'm sorry for what happened but I want to ask you a favor. Would you please forgive >> the person who did it so that in case he's using this fill and to put it on he should fulfill the mitzvah and that itself will help him come back and repent and if he gave it to somebody else or he sold it that person who doesn't know anything at least they should be able to fulfill the mitzvah. Now Boomie's father saw the letter and he's like, "NOT ON MY DEAD BODY. I DON'T FORGIVE THIS GUNF." But the 13-year-old at that moment knew that he just received a letter from a moerenu in a generation. He understood the Reb wasn't making light of the thievery. The Reb wasn't dismissing the act of cruelty and the immorality of it. But the Reb at that moment was taking a 13-year-old and turning him into a powerhouse, [snorts] turning him into a beacon of leadership, telling him, "You're much larger." He was helping him see what Joseph saw when he told his brothers 22 years later, "You did not sell me. God sent me. Of course, they sold him. Of course, they destroyed his life." But what made Ysef Ysef was when he could stand up and say, "You did not sell me. I was not just a pink bunk ball, a victim of your ill faded choices. I was sent." And that made the entire difference between a victim and a leader who changed the world. Sometimes in life, a wise woman said, "It seems like you're being buried. In truth, you're being planted." >> You know, when you take a seed and you put it in the earth, it looks like it's being buried. But come back in a few years and you'll see an amazing tree. All of us can look at our lives. There were moments it seemed like we were buried. There's moments it seems like we're experiencing cruelty, fate that is not kind, that is not smiling at us. You may be struggling in your marriage, with your children. You may be struggling with mental health. You may be struggling with your family. You may be struggling in different areas of your life, emotional, social, financial, biological, spiritual, medical. You may have experienced turbulence in youth. You may have experienced loss and tragedy and pain. And nobody will ever understand the mysteries of life which are often inexplicable. And yet what the Reb gave this child, his 13-year-old, a gift. He said, "I know somebody stole your fill, but I'm now going to turn you into a and together with me, we're going to help another Jew fulfill the mitzvah of fillin." And what happened at that moment was Bumi Freedellander became one of the great of the lab. He recognized, he recognized a different way of living, a different perspective on living. This is not turning your other cheek and telling people, "Oh, abuse me more here. Steal everything I have." We're not talking about that. It's understanding what it means that you're much larger than you ever can even think you are. Because you're not a drop in the ocean. You're the entire ocean in a drop. All of God's purpose can be reflected is reflected in you and you and you and you and me as we show up with love, as we show up with openheartedness, as we show up with authenticity, as we're not afraid of our toy. The Reb told me, "Don't be afraid of it. And when you're not afraid of it, you'll be able to contain it." The greatest challenge in life is I'm afraid of me. I'm afraid of my emotions. I'm afraid of my brokenness to don't be afraid of your chaos. Trust me, your chaos is also designed by God. Don't be afraid of your toy. And then you won't have to stay there. Then it won't have to rule you. Then it won't have to direct you. Then you'll be able to see it as a gift, as an opportunity. This is your creativity. This is your audacity. This is your intensity. This is your depth. This is your power. >> [sighs] >> I grew up in Brooklyn. The Reb would give dollars every single Sunday for many hours. I would not go because I lived there. I saw him constantly. I didn't think it was fear to go every week and stand online together with thousands and thousands of people when the Reb was standing for hours, hours, no end. But one Sunday I did go cuz I was flying that night to Israel for a wedding. I was a yeshiva boy. It was the 26th day of udder March 1992. I didn't know it would be the last time the Reb would ever distribute dollars. I went the Reb stood all day. He started around 1:00 and this was already like 6:00 p.m. The Reb at the time was 89 years old. He almost turned it was like a month before a little before his turning 90 years old. Stood all day. I watched before I got into the line. I just watched hundreds of people, Jews, non-Jews, all walks of life are walking by. The Reba had something to say to everybody, speaking their language, to their soul, to their heart, to their needs, to their challenges, to their yearnings. [snorts] It was very fascinating because I knew about it, but I never saw it so close upand. You know, we heard the stories, but I there it was there. I was watching it. I was right there. And then finally, it was getting close to the evening and it was time for me to get my dollar. So I remember I smuggled myself into the line. I told Rabbi Label Groner, the Reb's secretary, that I'm traveling that night to the Holy Land. And I wanted he should tell it to the Reb. In front of me, a few people in front of me. I could see it now. I see a little girl. She seemed a darker complexion. seemed French or Israeli, not from a religious family, not from a kidic family, not from a kabad family. She was being held by her father in his arms. She seemed to me to be maybe four or five or six. Very cute little girl. And the way she was dressed, I understood she didn't really come from a religious Jewish family. And her father was holding her and it came their turn to come to the Reba. And I watched this as the Reb gave this little girl a dollar and he said two words to her. the blessing and success. And without anybody expecting it, she picks up her dollar, waves it, looks at the Reb, and says loud in English with an accent these words, Rebi of Lubavich, I love you. Everybody was taken aback. It didn't seem to me that the Reb secretaries were too pleased by that sentiment. After all, it's not something usually people would say to the Rebba. And some people didn't feel so comfortable with that. The Rebba smiled from ear to ear. I've seen him smile many times, but the radiant smile I saw that moment, I don't think I ever saw. There was a glow on his holy face. As he looked at this girl and he said, "Thank you very much." And as she was about to walk away, he gave her a second dollar and he said, "This is for your love." A few moments later, it was my turn. The smile was wiped away from his face. You're laughing. It wasn't so funny. Rabbi Leoner told the Reb, he's traveling tonight to the Holy Land. The Reb gave me a dollar and said, he then gave me a second dollar and he said, "This please give to charity in the Holy Land." Those were the last words I heard for my Reb. I could still see it in my mind's eye as he looks at this little girl, thanks her for the love, and gives her a dollar and says, "This is for your love." A few years ago, I said it over in a lecture and the way it is these days, before I finished it, it was on WhatsApp. It became a clip and it went viral. Last year, I get a call from a kabach in Berlin, Germany. And he says, "I met a woman here. She's in her 30s or low 40s, and she got a clip of you telling a story about her. She can't believe it that there's somebody in the world who knows the story. Would you like to talk to I said of course of course I would love to talk to her. I have been carrying her story with me since 1992 March. That is 34 years ago. I was a young yeshiva student. This was the last dollars of the rebba. I have been carrying the story. He arranged for a zoom. We met on zoom. She's in Berlin. I'm in New York. We start talking and she's like, I thought this was just a personal secret family story that we told over in our family. I didn't know that anybody else heard it. I didn't know that anybody else knew it. This was so inspiring for her. This was so overwhelming. She told me how her whole family was transformed as a result of that story. As a result of that exchange with Reb, her father, her mother, her siblings, the entire family was transformed. But then I also learned something much much deeper and that is that actually her relationship with love was very very complex. It [snorts] was not simple. And when the Reb told that little girl, "This is for your love," he was empowering a soul to be able to find what real love is, what real selflove is, what real love of the other is, what real love of God is. Because here it is, if you don't have real self-love, you could never really love anybody else. People who hate themselves look for other people to tell them that they're good and they can't even love them. Only when you love yourself and you love your true self, you love your divine self. You love your ani and your ayen. Can you really see that in other people and love them? Can you suddenly see the grace of God and everything and love it? This was a blessing to this girl. And as we connected, memory lane went back and I realized that those words captured the final will and testament for a generation. a generation trying to soften its heart. The woman, the feminine conversing with her husband and saying, "There's something the masculine needs to hear. There's something the masculine inside of us needs to hear. It's the voice of the heart. It's the voice of innocence. It's the voice of humility. It's the voice of attachment. It's the infant nursing from its mother. The work of harshness and compliance is nice. It's not doing the magic today. What is doing the magic is trust, love, surrender, faith, connection, attachment. It's graduating the ego. It's letting go of a Judaism that has often become toxic and used religion to cover up our insecurities. Used religion to make us feel good for our inner misery. It's a Yiddeshai that's based on redemptive consciousness of anoid mulvad where we suddenly could look into our nervous system and say wow thank you thank you for allowing us to be channels to channel the infinite love and redemption into the world. Thank you to the bump. Thank you to the alterb. Thank you to the Reba for being such powerful clean channels who demonstrated not through words but through presence to the Jewish world to the whole world what it means to live in trust. What it means to live in inner power. What it means to live as real ambassadors of Hashem, ambassadors of love, light, hope, healing, and redemptive consciousness. Thank you very very much. [applause] Heat. [applause] Heat. This class is [music] brought to you by the yeshiva.net. Please help us continue the classes. Make even a small contribution at ww.theshiva.net/donate.