Find the missing pieces...and you'll find the missing peace - Heal & Grow with Emuna - Rabbi Anava

Originally I wanted to talk about one thing, but then you know, Sham changes things very, very fast. And I thought of talking about something completely different. All the same topic. But when I was young I had a I did a a bad thing. I was a 14 years old going on 15. And I used to steal my mother's car every night. And she had a sports car. So, I would like open the garage very quietly and push the car out. The car was manual, so it was easy to put it in neutral. Push it down the driveway quietly. When it would be far away from the house, I started it. And it was this Italian car and it had a strong engine. Made a lot of noise and right away I would drive away. And then I would go pick up my friends and we would drive around. 14 year olds driving with a car. And I did that every night for about half a year. And one night it didn't go so well. We were drinking alcohol, my friends and me and then we went for a drive and I made a U-turn. Somehow I had a cigarette in my mouth, went flying. I went bumped into the to the median there and we had a flat tire. We're sitting on the on the highway and who comes to help us? Police. Okay, so one friend is in the back changing colors. And me and my other friends are like, you know, keeping it cool. And the danger went by and I take my friends home. Okay, that was our sign to go home. And because I used to drive every night then the local undercover police, they kind of picked up that this every time they saw me they're So, that night they saw me and they started running after me. And I didn't have no license. I didn't even have an idea. I was like 15 years old, not even probably. So, I started running away from them. And started a high-speed pursuit. And then I thought I ditched them. I went into some this like cul-de-sac of of a house and I went all the way to the end in between cars and like slide it down like that, turned everything down and and I saw them going backwards and forwards and backwards and forwards and and I I thought I I lost them. And then I see the police car going back and driving in and I realized that from the excitement, I left my foot on the brakes. So, the brake lights were on. Anyways, of course they come, they The long story short is they of of course arrested me. And then I got in a lot of trouble. That you know, stealing the car and driving without a license and all that great stuff. That's one normal day of my childhood. That's why I mentioned many, many times my mother's going to Gan Eden. Direct. So, Where was that? This was all in Israel. So, why am I telling you this? That when it came the age for me to do my driver's license, then first of all, I didn't have the chutzpah to turn to my father that I want a driver's license cuz it cost a lot of money. And all my friends starting getting like driver's license and you know, part of my punishment that I couldn't get a driver's license right away. But I really, really, really wanted the driver's license and I wasn't in a position that I can do it by myself. I needed my parents' help. This is a to dedicate? No. Someone with a car is parked outside. Uh someone with a black Nissan Altima is parked across the street in the neighbor's yard and needs to move it. He has a big shotgun and he does not afraid of using it. No, that was my addition. So, if you have a black Nissan Altima, if you don't want to get shot here, move your car. I was just kidding. I'm joking. Uh so, back to the criminal activities in the '80s. So, I really wanted the driver's license. So, I had to go and work the whole summer and I didn't tell it to anyone. I didn't tell anyone my plan. And I worked the whole summer when all my friends went to to to the beach and parties and having fun and and I worked. And came the end of the summer, I had enough money. I went and did the driver's license by myself and of course I come home and I tell my mom, "Do you need the car tonight?" She was like, "What?" And I was like, "No, I have a driver's license and I wonder if you needed the car." And she was like completely shocked and then I called my father and I was like, "Can you add me to the insurance of the car? I have a date tonight. I'm taking the mom's car." He's like, "What?" And he starts screaming at me. I'm like, "What? What? What? No. No. No. I have a driver's license." And of course I went and start picking up friends and everybody was shocked that I just showed up with a driver's license. And of course happy story ending, everything went fine and I and and the rest is history. But, but why am I telling you this story? Is because I learned from that that if you believe in yourself, you can do almost anything that Hashem plants in your mind that you want to do. The reality is that most people, not only that they don't believe in themselves, they don't even know how powerful they are. And uh it doesn't really matter why. Talking about facts. This story taught me, besides of taking responsibility of my own actions, I mean, I was 14, I got punished severely, and and it was a very significant uh uh lesson to my life, which I took a lot from it. But the significant part that I took from it is the fact that when all options don't work, as the Mishna says, "Im ein ani li, mi li?" If there's nobody for me, nobody will do anything for me. Or I think in America they say, "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going." Something like that. But it taught me to reach deep down to the depth of my soul. At the time I didn't think of it as my soul, but it taught me to reach down to the deepest part of my existence and to pull out powers that I didn't know I have, but I had to use it because if not, it won't work. So, unfortunately, most people are dependent on other people for different things. It starts when you are a child. You dependent on your parents to to give you food, to give you clothes. My 6-year-old, he doesn't think too much. Food is mommy, and you know, it's it things just come. He doesn't know how. He goes to sleep at night. The the clothes are dirty on the floor. The next day, they're clean in the in the in the in the drawer. It's a miracles. So, it starts that little kids they they get everything. Bad parents, they give their kids too much because then the kid becomes incompetent. They don't know how to do something for themselves. So, A, as parents, you have to be giving, loving, educating, but I believe that the big part of the education is do-it-yourself. That's the education I got from my father. When I grew up, I didn't like I didn't like it. I resented that. My father is a very successful businessman, general in the Israeli army. I grew up in a in a strong setting. But, he never gave me anything. And every time that I asked for something, and I lived in a very upscale neighborhood, so all my friends, they they got everything. And everything that I wanted, he's like, "You go get it." So, as a child, you you you you resent that. I didn't like that. What do you mean, "Go get it?" You just give it to me. As an adult, he did the greatest kindness to me. He did the greatest to me. Best teacher I ever had. Which means that where where do you learn from? From restriction. From a lack. From something that you need to improvise, find ways, use your imagination. That's what Hashem is trying to do with each and every one of you, but unfortunately, most people don't have not the tools and not the knowledge of what they're able to do. And it's irrelevant right now if their parents gave them a certain education, the environment they grew in. We're not looking to pull to point fingers. We're looking for to find solutions. The reality is, and again, I'm talking in general, could be that I'm missing some of you and some of you it's not applied to, but most people A, are not aware of their inner power. And the rest don't even know how to apply it. So, first you need to know that you have a very strong power in you. Now, how do you find out what's the strong power? Unfortunately, you know, we're still healing from the scar of October 7. And up until today, you see videos and testimonials and horror stories and they're surfacing up all the time. And the stories of the the the people who were hostages, that's the like How do you survive such a thing? They How I can I Just try to imagine one day in that setting. And and see how can you survive such a thing? We started here as a joke that last time when I was here it was hot. You know how hot it was? I was sweating. I was like I lost 10 lb from that lecture. And you know what was going on in my mind the whole time? The hostages are right now in tunnels under the ground. They're sweating 10 times more than you. And you're sweating for 2 hours and they're sweating for 2 months. That was what's going on constantly in my mind. You ask yourself, where does a person get the power to survive such a thing? It's almost unhuman. So, in my short life, Hashem put me in situations that I reached to to places that I survived from that it was a beyond a miracle. I mean, you are familiar with my personal near-death experience. You know how many times I almost died? That time was what I share. I I lived my life in a very extreme way. I was in situations that this it was only a miracle that saved my life. So, and what saved my life is this inner power that just appeared that was in some situation with survival that I wouldn't think I can survive one day and you survive a whole week or two or three or four. And you know, when you pushed to a corner then the these special powers can be activated. Now first of all, like I said, most people don't even know they have these powers. They feel regular people. They feel that okay, you know, I'm good at this, I'm good at that. Not realizing there's a nuclear reactor inside that can move worlds. And that's your neshama, of course, your soul. The next thing is once you figure out that you do have these powers, how do you bring them out? So, the first thing that I want to introduce with how recognizing that you have these powers and we're going to take it to a very negative place and you're going to have to recognize in your life that your desires and your lusts that you can't control. That they control you. So, you use your own imagination. I'm not going to put anybody on the spot. But just imagine and let me just give one example of the many. I think it's fair. We'll give a small example that might apply to most people. You have a weakness to chocolate. You see the chocolate, you don't think twice, you eat it. You like it. It's tasty. It's irrelevant right now if it's healthy or not. You You don't have a weakness to chocolate. Most of us have what's called a sweet tooth. The chocolate is there, you eat it. Now imagine now they will tell you you can't eat chocolate anymore. It's detrimental to your health. Up until this point, not eating the chocolate was never a challenge. Because you didn't see that as a problem. Once the chocolate is prohibited to you, then it becomes a challenge. Now I want it. Now imagine when you're in this situation and take it to the extreme. I'm saying chocolate, but take it to the extreme. Each one has to use their own imagine it not imagination, your own reality. What is the weakness that you have no power? So, one person will be whatever. I'm not going to give you examples too much, but just be honest with yourself, okay? Now, imagine that strong power that takes you to your desire that is unstoppable. What is that power? Why is it so strong? Why is it so strong that it's taking you to do a certain act that you have almost no control over? I can't hold it. I can't I must have it. So, I gave you an example with a chocolate, but there are certain lusts and certain desires that when they come in front of you, the brain doesn't function well. You don't think. You jump impulsively. Or your thought process is difficult. So, there's some type of force in you that is so strong that it's overpowering you. Now, if you're in the path of any type of spiritual growth, then you know there's going to be resistance. And a big part of spiritual growth, and it has nothing to do with faith or religion, a big part of spiritual growth is self-control. How much can you control yourself? That's when you are in introduced to a power that it's hard for you to to stop to hold. So, let's go now to an example with a chocolate. Or you know what? Let me give you a different example. You are addicted to cigarettes, and the doctor tells you if you're going to continue smoking, you're going to get sick for sure, and you understand that you it's time to quit. But you have such a desire and such a lust and such a pull, and you can't get rid of it. And you Okay, just one more smoke. Oh, just one more bite. And then I've been talking about it for so many years. I don't know how much people are actually listening cuz I don't see much of a change. But, this is the same idea. It's just in a little dose. Anyone who goes like this all day long, or at any free moment they have, after the next video This is the last video. Right? This is the I'm just finishing it and Why is it so hard for you to put the phone down? Why can't you go on the social media that you like? Go there for 10 minutes. Scroll up and down and see whatever updates you are interested in. And that's it. Why don't you put yourself on a spirit on a diet on a phone diet? What's that little annoying power that is so powerful that it's able to ram you over and to control you now? Have you ever thought of what What is this force that is taking over me right now? That I don't care. I don't care about the weight. I don't care about the diet. I don't care about the sin. I don't care about I I am doing it right now. And you're standing in front of a temptation, even if you know it's a sin. Suddenly Suddenly it evaporates from the back of your mind. It's not a sin right now. It's called koach ta'avah, the power of the desire. So, if you agree, each and every one of you that you have the strong desire in you that in many cases overpowers you, would you all agree that you have this power in you? I just want to see the the ratio here. Okay, so everybody here agrees with me, and the people in line can also be the put a thumbs up that there is a certain power in you. We're not going to call it now a lust or desire. We're not going to define it, but there's a power in you that when it becomes stronger, it overpowers you, and you're weak to it, and you have no tools to fight that power. And you can blame it and call it the yetzer hara. And you can blame it and call it the I don't know what. But the fact remains is that inside of you there is a very strong power that when it wants to do what it needs or or wants, nothing stops it. And that's why you fail and sin. And we're all human and we all do the same thing. I don't want to give examples cuz everybody has their weaknesses. I chose to say chocolate and a cigarette. You think it to wherever you want. Can be extreme like addictions like uh alcohol, drugs, gambling, porn, sex. I mean, there are a lot of addictions ruin your life. But if for me this is also an addiction that it's controlling you. Why can't you put the phone down? What is causing you not to put the phone down? I'm telling you I'm not has v'shalom trying to insult anyone. I cannot relate with that. I can actually relate. So I'll rephrase it. I don't understand. Some of you came to the lecture yesterday. I taught you about the significance of wasting your time. Isn't your time valuable to you? How come this looks to you something so so okay I'm not destroying anybody's life. I'm not stealing. I'm not doing anything immoral. I'm just going like this. You are a slave to this power that you don't have any power over. So I told you can be any type of addictions, food, physical pleasures, whatever it is, lust for money. Each and every one of us has this little power in me that's controlling me. And be humble enough to say it's me and don't blame it on my yetzer hara. That's what most people say. Oh, you know, you know the yetzer hara. Driving me crazy. No, it's you. The yetzer hara is just kicking you in your tuchus. You don't know how to handle this power. With that said, first I come to the conclusion that each and every one of us has a very strong power in you, right? So, start recognizing that there's a very strong force in you. Now, you might think that this force that is causing you to fail in your desires or your lusts or your weaknesses is a yetzer hara, an evil inclination, a third party. Which he has some effect. But, you know that the yetzer hara only opens the door. You walk through it. So, don't blame your failures on your yetzer hara and your desire and it was too hard for me. The yetzer hara just shows you the door. And he says, "You want to go through it?" So, first thing we need to put aside, don't blame anybody for your misfortune and for your failures and for your not succeeding in anything, okay? Rule number one. Never blame anyone. I always blame myself for everything. And definitely not Hashem. With all sorts of questions like, "Hashem, why are you doing this to me? I'm such a good person." That's a a matter of a an opinion. But, more than that, I don't ever throw responsibility on anything or anyone. I take full responsibility to everything. Rule number one. Next, we need to all acknowledge that there is some force in me. Now, if you ever experience a strong desire to something or a weakness to a certain addiction that you really can't control yourself, drugs, alcohol, and so forth. And I, by the way, uh add the phone to the same the same thing. And uh I've seen people going crazy without their phone. And I guarantee to you you'll go crazy. Give me a phone for a few days, we'll see how you react. Some people, you know, they're they're things fall on the floor. I saw a person that his feeling fell on the floor. He picked it up like it was a, you know, shopping bag. Days later, during the prayer, his phone fell on the floor. I never saw such such A DRAMA. OH MY GOD! I HEARD THE SCREAMING. How he turned the phone Yet feeling is okay to throw on the floor, but the phone So, what we need to understand is that there's inside of me a force that is extremely strong. That's for me the indication how much powerful I am. Because if I'm willing to move everything in my reality, knowing something is a sin, knowing something is immoral, knowing that it will hurt another person, but I'm locked and I will do it, I know that there's a very strong force in me. Thinking it's a third-party force, you're missing out. Now understand that that's the force you need to activate. The Torah says, "The rab t'vo'ot b'choach shor." How do you plow the land the best? You need the power of an ox. You can't plow the land by yourself. You don't have that power. You need an ox to do that. Now, an ox is a very destructive animal. It's not a nice animal. It's not like a a little dog or a cat. An ox walks into your field, he will ruin whatever he walks on. He doesn't have any uh feelings I'm walking on your tomatoes. So, you're talking here about of the destructive force to a point that, you know, many rules in halakha, in the oral law, is about what the damages of what the your ox does. If your ox damages my property and my ox it So, it's uh very simple to take. It's a destructive power, the ox. But if I use it the right way, then I get the best level of the plowing. So, first of all, today you will hopefully leave the lecture understanding, "Oh, I didn't I didn't realize I have a very strong power in me." Whether you call it your your will power, it doesn't matter right now how you call it. The fact is that that you have a very strong power. Where does this strong power come about? Is when you get angry. That's another indication to you. How aggressive or destructive you are when you get angry angry. Because when you get angry, you don't think straight. You use language that you normally wouldn't. You would insult the person in front of you just to get back at them, even though you don't think that. When you're angry, you have zero control over yourself. That's another indication to you that when a certain power in you goes loose, it's extremely powerful. Test yourself for the last time you got angry. How fast did you get over that anger? An hour, 3 days, a week? You know that sometimes people get into a certain situation, the anger lasts a month. The whole month they're angry. Where do you see that the most? With couples. Sometimes you're angry at your spouse 48 hours. Like I take it from that that that individual has a very strong force in that person that can control, that can bring about very strong actions. Now, you're not familiar with that cuz you see that all as negative forces. If I'm angry, and by the way, let's cut to the chase chase, you all have a lot of anger in you. Next to people, you're all calm and you smile and you're nice. I guarantee it to you that if I do a house visit, you behave different in your own home. That's a fact. I will give 5% of the people here in the crowd that are naturally calm, and they don't have so much anger in them. The majority are nice people in the street. Aggravate them for 1 minute, you'll see the devil coming out, and put some cameras in their house, you'll see total different individual. Total different individual. You see some men talking to their wife in the street, "Honey, how are you? At home?" Oh, I don't want to say even how they TALK AT HOME. OH, YEAH. SO, LET'S CUT TO THE CHASE. We all have a lot of anger inside. A lot of anger. And all you need is just you just need with the the the button to press. And I don't know that because when I wasn't observant, and I wasn't so uh nice to people, I knew how to press buttons. I knew how to recognize people's buttons and press them till a person loses their their their their their control. So, if you ever experience anger in levels that you lose your control, which is most people, just know, "Ooh, what if I can take that power, how I smash the TV or whatever it is?" Why don't you ever use that power for something positive? It's in you. 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years, you didn't even figure it out? You're getting angry like I don't know what, but you didn't figure out that's your own power. V'erav tvo'at b'choach shor. You have to use the destructive power for something positive. So, like I started the lecture, I figured out a long time ago that I have a force in me. That's way before I was observant, by the way. Way before I had a Hashem in my life. I understood that if I want to get something, secret powers are going to have to be activated. I'm not talking about no sacrifice, focus, discipline. These are all basic rules that you need to have for any type of success. But I figured out that if I can use the aggressive power in me, I will get whatever I want. That's was my mind frame as a young adult. I was very successful. Extremely successful. Doesn't matter I took my focus to to to negative side. But whatever I put my mind to it, I knew how to nail it down. Not because I think that I'm talented or I'm blessed by Hashem, because I know how to bring out the qualities that Hashem gave me. From my introduced my introduction or my acquaintance or my relationship with many, many people for 20 years, I see the potential in most people non-sleeping, non-activated, almost never used. Like a crippled power in you that you don't even know exists and you don't even know how to activate or use. But it comes about every now and then to the surface through extreme anger or by a strong lust or desire that you have no control of. Now in your mind, it's you you justifying all situations. In that situation, when this power is attacking, we'll call it now your desire, your lust, your weakness, your common sense makes everything sense in your mind. No, it's okay. It's only fine. But stop for a second and realize what Hashem gave you. What's the soul soul that Hashem gave you? There are situations that people were in a extreme situation and they did unhuman things. Lifting up a car, jumping out, you know, like crazy things. And on the other hand, we see now, I was mentioning the hostages. You see girls, a girl, surviving these conditions for a year? I don't even know how. I don't even know how. When you know all the details, it's inhumane. I heard the testimonial of one of the hostages. Because the army was on top, like looking at them, they hid him in a TV box, tied like this, for days in the heat. You are without an air conditioner for 2 minutes and you start whining. How can a person do such a thing? Hashem gives you powers that you don't even believe that you can do. With that said, hopefully at this point, we're halfway through, you figured out that you have a very strong power in you that you just never used. You used it for negative things. You used it with your anger, to be very destructive, physically, emotionally, hurt other people, lose your temper to a point that you break things, scream, do things that you regret. Very crazy power. And I know in your mind or somebody will tell you, "Oh, it's a yetzer hara." Okay. As I told you, the yetzer hara just opens the door. He doesn't make you do things. This power of yours will come about when you have a very strong desire or lust that nothing stands in your way. You push everything in your way to do that. You don't have to raise your hand or not, but the ones of you who know what I'm talking about, that your desire is so strong that you're willing to push everything aside to fulfill this desire? Why don't you use that power to your benefit? Can you imagine if you use this power for your benefit to the Okay? Okay. Can you imagine if you use that power to your benefit? How come you use that power to hurt yourself, to damage something? And you all know what I'm talking about because it can come, I told you, in anger, that's one sign. It can come out in your uh malicious way to achieve your last You're willing to lie, you're willing to step on people, you're willing to distort the truth. Just And it can be in any type of force. I had it in a vengeful way. When I was young, I was very vengeful. I would go till the other side of the world to for my revenge. And then I understood, if I have this power that is keeping me up for days and I can't fall asleep and this anger and uh I said, "Wow, I got to use this power. This is a nuclear power." Nuclear power you can use to destroy worlds, and nuclear power you can use to run a city. You can power an entire city of energy with a nuclear reactor. And of course, it can be used to negative purposes, make a bomb out of it, you destroy that city. So, you have in you a nuclear reactor. You know you have a nuclear reactor because sometimes it surfaces through anger, through emotions that you are almost cannot control. And again, your mind, your education is like, "No, that's my emotions. I'm going through a stressful time, so my emotions are very strong right now." Okay, that's a nice the to the situation. But, remove that definition and understand what's the emotion. Why the emotion right now is very strong cuz you're going through a difficult time. If the emotion is anger, if the emotion is sadness, if it What if the emotion is also excitement? Sometimes you're so excited that you also do things without thinking the right way. All that I'm telling you is to you to figure out to pinpoint your power. You need to recognize that you are a very strong individual. When you leave this lecture tonight, you have to understand whether you say it in your mind 10, 20 times a day, whether you write it on a piece of paper and you read it. Doesn't matter what. You put it on your screensaver. You have to understand, you have to start building in your mind, "I'm a very strong person. If I put my mind to it, I will do I will do it." Because it worked for me when I was angry, it worked for me when I was under pressure for lust or desires. So, it can work for me with anything that I will bring this power to the surface. First step to understanding is that gave you a nuclear reactor. And you know when you say it, first thing when you wake up. Elohai, neshama she natata li, tehora hi. Right? I hope you're saying the morning prayers. And you say, "Hashem, the soul that you gave me, it's pure." So, you're using the word tehora, pure. I will tell you you can also use another word by saying hazaka, strong. You can use almost anywhere any word you want because the soul has all the qualities. And if Hashem gave me my soul, which means it has soul powers. Like great scholars, great they use their soul powers. They don't use their body powers. I know for a fact, I don't need to be proven or questioned. I know for a fact cuz I see it on myself that the energy that I have doesn't come from my body. I feed my body as much as I can healthy food because I want to give my my body the the purest fuel possible. But really the energy that I get is not from the food that I eat. The energy that I get comes directly from my soul, not from my food. And the proof to that is give food to a dead person and you'll see that it's not going to give the the dead person any energy. The energy comes only from the soul. Feed your soul. You can be up for 2 days and you're not tired. The body just need The body just needs a little bit of sustenance. And I'm not telling you now to go on sleepless nights. I'm just telling you that I know on myself that when my soul is energized, I don't sleep. Yesterday was a very very strong lecture. Every night is a strong lecture, but I'm I'm just giving you an example. Yesterday was a very very powerful lecture. The message came down very good. People were affected. I know for a fact 4:00 in the morning, I'm wired. I can't go to sleep. I'm wired. Like I like like I don't want to even define like what. Wired, completely working messages. Didn't eat, didn't sleep. In my 50s, technically I should be collapsing on the bed, collapsing. Not only that I'm not I'm not tired. I can't even if I even I go to sleep, I sit like this. Why? The soul is on on on spiritual drugs. The soul is the nuclear reactor now. So I know, I recognize my forces. I recognize them because when I was young, those forces were destructive. My anger was destructive. My lust for things were destructive. When I was When I desired something, there was no rules. There was no boundaries. When I wanted something, I would turn the world upside down. So it took me a while, but I understood that the inner power that I have in me, if it's so powerful to steal, and if it's so powerful to lust, why can I use that force force to love? To give. To forgive. To open my heart. So, first of all, hopefully you are uh acquainted today with a special force that you have in you. We'll call it now your soul. We can call it however you want. But, you have powers that you don't recognize that you do. Now, by the way, could be some of you in the crowd or on the call that they do know their powers. They do know their their their qualities. They know how to bring it out to the surface. I know many people like that. I know my qualities. I know my ox in me. I know when the ox is there. And by the way, the ox also is a very angry animal. Get it out a angry, the the damage it will do is a sham akem. So, I know I have an ox in me. But, I'm already in the place that I know how to direct that power. I know how to not direct it to anger or lusts or desires or addictions. Take that power something somewhere else. Now, how do you take the power somewhere else? To understand that you have a power in you, hopefully today was uh clear enough for you to understand that everything that I just said now, and by the way, it's more than that. You need to recognize in yourself. I'm just giving you some examples. The way to to pinpoint, so to say, this hidden power is when it surfaces, and normally up until now, most of you are acquainted with this power in negative things. And the easy example that I could find to you is anger. Everybody has anger. But some people they have the same power with jealousy. They will go and destroy somebody's life from the jealousy. And when you stop to think about it, I I know somebody like that. And I told that person, "You realizing really what you're doing? You actually thought of what you're doing? You know that what you're doing you're not going to be able to do chuvah for? You're going to be almost impossible for you to repent for that." "You understand the damage you're doing?" That person was so jealous and so focused on I'm going to destroy that individual that this force, forget about ate them alive, controlled them completely. And you think that person finds peace? Never. Happiness? Never. You think that person person is healthy? Can't be healthy with such anger in the in the guts. And then the whole time I'm looking at the person and I'm like, "You know, if you would take this passion, this power, this determination, and direct it to something this big, small, that is good, where would you go?" The yetzer hara is the one who's convincing you that this power is his and not yours. That's what the yetzer hara does. Really the yetzer hara, the evil inclination, uh just opens the door and tells you, "Look how nice." And where do we learn it from? That's what the serpent did to Hava. He didn't do anything. He just pushed her and he said, "You see?" He pushed her on the tree. "You see? Nothing happened." That's what he did. A little bit of convincing. So, that's what he does to you. He takes your power to use it against you and then he claims that this is his power. And you fall fall for that. So, to conclude this part, recognize in you this destructive power that comes up to the surface in anger, in jealousy, in frustration, and many different things, and understand that this power is yours and can be used both directions. If you don't understand that, you don't get to this realization, the next part won't help. But you need to understand that. Now you need to figure out, okay, how am I activating this power, and how am I applying it, and how am I bringing it to the surface in a positive way? Does somebody have the time? No, no, don't worry. I'm just It's It's a rhetorical question. It's quarter to 10. Anybody here in the room likes coffee? Yeah? You drink coffee at 10:00 at night? Yeah or no? Okay. I love coffee. I love coffee so much. It's on my list of addictions. How much I love coffee. But I didn't listen. It's not a heroin. It's just coffee, right? Organic and this coffee Yeah, it's it's okay. It's the milk that's the problem, not the coffee in this coffee. But that's not what I'm trying to say. What I'm trying to say is that I have a weakness to a certain substance. Coffee. I admit. Not denying. I like the taste. I like I like everything. I just And yeah, yeah, I call I It is an addiction cuz the coffee is not nutritious. It's not healthy. Doesn't do anything to me good. On the contrary, only bad. I can't find one good thing that coffee does to you. I know some will argue and say caffeine is good. Let's go with the the side that says it does nothing good. The sugar in it is not good, the milk in it is not good. How I drink the coffee when the milk is foamed, I even worse. So, there's nothing good in the coffee. So, my common sense says, why do you need this? That's what my common sense is on most things. Why don't need this? Doesn't benefit me, doesn't do anything good to me. So, what if it tastes good? As well. So, I let go. Cuz I don't like these loose ends. I don't like things bothering me, controlling me, affecting me, being neurotic. Oh, I need a cup of coffee. It's like, relax. So, most things that I know has no benefit for me, I don't I don't engage with. If it it can be people, can be situations. I'm in many situations that I get to a point and I say, "That's it. At this point, the the session is over. From this point over, I'm not benefiting anything from being here, learning, listening. I'm moving on. I'm not getting stuck on the same thing." So, most people most sorry, most of the situations that I have, if my common sense explains to me that I don't need it, it doesn't benefit me in any ways, most cases this situation this thing will go away from my life. Somehow, the coffee is stuck. I got rid of a lot of bad habits. Coffee stayed. Now, if you're asking me why I left it one thing, is if you're familiar with the concept of mayim acharonim, the water that we wash our hands before saying birkat hamazon, it's always good to give the yetzer hara some something to to bite on. A little bone. Here, choke on it. That's mayim acharonim. Mayim acharonim, if you're not familiar, after we eat a meal and we wash for bread, before we say birkat hamazon, we wash our hands and we say a few prayers. Each Nusa has it a little bit different. Ashkenaz, Sephardi, Chabad, each one says it a little bit different, but we all do the Mayim Acharonim. Some don't the women don't do it. There There are congregations that the women do it. We're not going to do shiur on Mayim Acharonim, but the the There's many aspects and ideas behind the Mayim Acharonim. First of all, the translation is Mayim is water, Acharonim last. That in itself we can go a very interesting class. Why it's called Mayim Acharonim? You know, the last water. It's not the class about Mayim Acharonim. I'm just going to tell you that the concept behind it is that when you eating around the table, if you washed for bread and you said Hamotzi and around the table was kosher food and some words of Torah, then the table becomes an altar. And that altar forgives your sins. That altar gives you spiritual power. It gives you forgiveness. Altar gives you life. If you serve on the table not kosher food and there's slandering, lashon hara, lying, and many other bad things around the table, then the table doesn't become a mizbeach to you. Doesn't become anything. Doesn't do nothing. Just became uh Our sages say kind of like a toilet. Sorry, I'm saying that. I'm just quoting our sages. If you would know the power of the table, then you would treat it differently because all of us say lashon hara all day long. Even though you think you don't say lashon hara, you say lashon hara. And one of the only things that will atone for your lashon hara is your table you eat on. And that's why we say before we say Birkhat Hamazon Hamazon the benching, "Vayedaber El Aharon Zeh Hashulchan Asher Lifnei Hashem." >> That is that's what you have to do by going and fixing what you said. But the tikkun, the rectification of the blemish done by lashon hara, there are few ways, but the dominating way is the three meals you have on Shabbat. It's actually four meals cuz you have to have the last meal motzei Shabbat, the melaveh malka. If you do that, three meals, I'm adding and um all the holy books will add on that that the fourth meal, too. That's what's going to atone for your lashon hara. Of course, you have to shut your mouth. You have to stop. But the tikkun, yeah, say birkat hamazon every day, especially on Shabbat, that's your tikkun. Start doing that because you have a lot of lashon hara on your on your on your on your how do you call it? On your plate? Yeah, on your plate. But nevertheless, back to the table. The table serves to me as a as an altar. So, you misuse the table, it will bounce back at you. You use the table the right way, then it will benefit from you. You can receive atonement. Why are we talking about the table and the lashon hara and Shabbat? That's your part where you answer. Nobody's listening? You said the table is like the altar. No, I know I'm talking about the table as an altar. I want to see if everybody's focused. Why did we talk about the table and the altar? It'll bring out your power. That's the the title that we're looking for. We're talking about the mayim acharonim. The table is an altar. When you eat the right way around the table, I'm just asking cuz I see some of you are like it's already 10:00 at night and you maybe I should give you coffee. That's why I ask where if you if you following me. I talked about the mayim acharonim and the table, if you do it in the right manner, kosher food, Torah on the table, no slandering, etc., etc., the table becomes an altar. Kedusha, you know what kedusha is on the table. Go to a real Shabbat meal. I'm sure you hosted yourself or you ever been Well, when the Shabbat meal is done the right way, you feel such kedusha, such holiness. So, who comes to visit when there's a lot of holiness? The sitra achra. No, not the neighbors who want the alcohol. The sitra achra. Any place that there's going to be holiness, the sitra achra, which literally means the other side, that's what sitra achra means. Sitra is side, achra other. Other side. We don't even want to want to call it by its name. We just say the other side. There's a kedusha, the sitra achra will come. So, the klipa is around the table the entire meal, waiting for you to slander, waiting for you to curse, waiting for you to do something that it will So, what do we do at the end of the meal cuz the sitra achra wants to prosecute against us. So, like a dog, you throw it a little bone and you throw the dog to lick the bone, so you give it some mayim acharonim. The The sitra achra can only hold you on your on your fingertips. That's why we do netilat yadayim in the morning. I think I even thought that last time when I was here I spoke about that. If you are interested to know the reason why we do the netilat yadayim in the morning, when you go to sleep at night, your soul goes out of your body. Your neshama and your ruach leaves the body and the nefesh stays a little bit in the body. What happens is that the klipa and ruach tum'ah, a spirit of impurity, dwells on the body. And when the soul comes up back into the body, it pushes away this ruach tumah, this spirit of impurity. The only place it doesn't it doesn't push it from the hands, the your paws, your palm, and your feet. Cuz the nefesh doesn't go go go all the way in there. So, therefore, the ruach tumah is on your hands. Once they used to wash their feet, too. That's what the priests do in Beit Hamikdash. The Ben Ish Hai says that we don't do the feet anymore because the tumah, the impurity is so strong in our generation that we've been washing it isn't going to help it. So, we don't wash our feet. But, the reason you wash your feet your hands in the morning is to remove this impurity. Where is this impurity? All the way to here. It can't go more than that. It can only stay on your hands and on your feet. So, we wash the water all the way to your wrist. Uh so, the same thing, we want to give like this sitra something to bite on. That's the mayim acharonim. The mayim acharonim is like, "Give this dog, here, take something chew on it. Leave me alone." Now, let's see who you are really listening, and I'm sorry if I'm putting you on the spot. Why did I tell you about mayim acharonim? Using the powers of the table. Or or the powers of the desires. Like feeding into positive powers. Uh yeah, I mean, we were going in that direction, but I started telling you about mayim acharonim because of the coffee. Remember? I told you that when I figure out that something doesn't benefit me, I get rid of it. I hope you do that, too. And if you don't, write it down on a piece of paper or tick tick it on your phone. And write it put it in front of you in some place where you can see it daily that when something doesn't benefit you, leave it alone. And I'm just saying that has nothing to do with what we're talking about. No, in an indirect way it is. But, if you want to be on the next level of uh success to whatever you need to achieve, get rid of what doesn't benefit you. And you have to figure it out with a little very high level of of humility that if something is not good for me, I don't need it. It can be food. It can be people. It can be an environment. It can be anything that you do. It can be uh music that you hear. It can be a series you watch on Netflix. It can be anything in your life that you need to be aware enough that if it doesn't benefit me in any type of a way, why do I need to be involved in it in any type of a way? If it's food, why do I need to touch the food? It doesn't benefit me. It just harms me. If it's uh people, if somebody's toxic in my life, I don't have to be there. Even if it's your parents, even if it's your spouse, it doesn't matter. Nobody should be subject to the toxins of somebody else's No. And I know there are extreme situations. I know many questions will be right now, "Oh, but my uh I'm saying it very general. Something is not good for you, move from it. That's what you need to remember all the time. Food, people, situations. My weakness. If my weakness is alcohol, then don't go to the farbrengen. Oh, if you don't know what a farbrengen is, then you know men men sit together and drink a lot of le chaim, especially if you're in Lubavitcher. But, doesn't matter. You have the sensitivity to something, don't put yourself in front of it. If something doesn't benefit me, if I have a conversation with you and nothing comes out of it, I there's not going to be a conversation here. I don't mind being rude. Don't take my time. So, what you need to add to your spiritual vocabulary, something doesn't benefit me, I don't need it. Now ask yourself in your 2 hours on Instagram, does it benefit you? Are you educated? Did you learn something? Did you help somebody? You made money? No. If you answer everything no, so why you on the phone? Knowing that something that doesn't benefit me, I don't need it, that's first level of overpowering your little desires. The reason I told you the and the reason I talked about the coffee is because I get rid of what I don't need. And really it's common sense. It's not It's not more than that. Happened to be that I left one little thing to give to the to shut up. Leave me alone. Here's coffee. Take on it and sit. Choke on it. So the raw Now I gave him something to choke on, to shut up. Here, here. Shut up. Here, I give you coffee. Now who benefits from it? Me. I love the coffee. Okay, so I got one thing one loophole out. But I use that as my mechanism that normally you wake up in the morning, what do you want? Coffee. If you're addicted to something, that's the first thing you want in the morning. Or if you're addicted to something or you're weak for something, you want it at highest priority. You're addicted to cigarettes, the second Shabbat goes out Why don't you wait like an hour? You waited 24 hours, wait another hour. So not only did I leave the coffee for the to shut up and leave me alone, it's for me to practice control over this power. So, the power comes and sneaks up and convinces me I need coffee. And then somewhere around me somebody's brewing coffee and I'm like Then you see like this like in the cartoons, you know, like and I'm like So, I'm giving you example with coffee, you relate with it with any other substance you abuse. Or your phone, by the way. Or your phone. You don't have any control over your phone. So, why am I doing that? Because I can't control big things. Very hard to control the big things. But small things it's a little bit easier. So, I put myself on a leash, more to say I put the yetzer hara under control, is that because it's not something that big, so it's a little bit of easier of a battle. I don't drink coffee in the morning. You know why? Because I want to. But it doesn't benefit me in any way. It doesn't wake me up. It doesn't give me energy. It doesn't do anything. You think the coffee wakes you up. You think it gives you energy. It gives you a boost of energy and then you lose three, four times the amount of energy you had prior. Doesn't give you anything nutritious. It doesn't do what you think it does. Knowing that, I don't need it in the morning. So, now I have some mechanism that I can practice my control over. Something big, I can't control my I know my my myself, but something small I can control. So, I can control my no. No. You need to know how to say no. You need to know how to apply the midat hadin. The midat hachesed you know how to apply. And not because you kind headset is kindness. Not just because you kind to people and you charitable and you give money and you host offerings in your home. Because you like indulging on things. That's too much midot of headset. If you have a box of chocolates, how many do you eat? One or two or seven? Or all of them. That's midot of headset. I need more. More. Headset to give me more. One is not enough. I need 20. So, you need to stop that. You need to reduce headset. You need to increase din, judgement, severity. So, that's no. And most of you don't know how to say no, especially to themselves. They know how to say no to everybody else, but not to themselves. So, you need a mechanism to bring you to the the aware not the awareness, rather to the the What would be the word? Uh if you are very good at something, how is it called? Hm? No, no, no, talent. Excellence. You need to bring yourself to this level. You know, when I first put filling on I have a picture of it. Somebody took a picture of it. The filling of the head is here. The filling of the arm fell here. The talit is like that. I'm like You know, like struggling with the filling. Now I put filling. 3 seconds is on the hand. Straight. Why? Because I'm doing it for 20 plus years. It took me a long time to become good at just doing a certain action. And you all like that. Something you doing for 20 years, you do it like that. Whether it's cooking, it's sewing, typing. First time it's like you looking for the letters like where where. So, the same thing you You to hit maxed out. You need to become good in this motion of controlling something that is very easy for you to control. You know I control the coffee. I get the desire. I get the lust. I get the weakness. I smell the coffee. I want to enjoy. There's a lot of psychological parts behind it. But the front part of the brain, you don't really need it right now. I don't need it. Most of the times I'm not hungry. I have to tell myself you have to eat now cuz your body needs it. If I would not listen to my brain, I wouldn't eat much. And I don't get hungry. I eat very little. Like I told you, I don't pull my energy from food. I pull my energy from Torah and mitzvot. So I don't go I don't eat much. Very very little. You need to figure out the way how to control the urge. Because when you know how to control it in a small level, eventually you'll know how to use it in a larger level. And if you know how to say something no to something small, now we're talking about the coffee, in 2 hours. In 4 hours. Comes the 4 hours that say I tell myself, "Okay, 12:00 I'll have I'll take a break. I'll have a cup of coffee." And then I trick the yetsur. "No, no, 12:00 no, no. Now I'm having a my smoothie right now. My I'll have coffee later. I'll have a break later." But the point is I'm in control. I'm the boss. You don't tell me when I'm weak. You don't tell me when I need to do something. And why? Because I have a rule. If it doesn't benefit me, I don't need it. Now, everything that I'm saying now is very easy to nod and to wow. But when push comes to shove, it's very hard to do apply it because you're dealing with your desire right now. You're dealing with your anger. You're dealing with this powerful force. You are still not ready to nail this power down and to know how to ride it. Like a wild horse. That the second that you get close to it starts going wild. That's in this the level of most people. They And then they're of course afraid. You need to understand And like I started the class, that you have this power. And it's extremely powerful that if you use it, you will achieve what you need to achieve. And your ideas and your aspirations and your goals and your desires in positive things, these thoughts are planted in your mind by Hashem. Not that you came with the broad idea. You decide to open a certain business. You decide to move to a certain city, start learning something. It's not that you decided that. Hashem planted these thoughts in your mind cuz that's part of your path. If you're supposed to be if you're in your mazel, you're supposed to be a lawyer, then Hashem will put in your mind that you want to be a lawyer and find you all the opportunities and lead you where you need to go. Not that you're coming up with bold ideas. But everything that Hashem requires for you to do, you can make a very quick math. Whatever's nonsense, with no benefit and might be even a sin, you run to it. You indulge in it. When it's the complete opposite, then most people don't see the importance of I need to control myself. How do you get yourself to to be very uh professional in controlling yourself? So I do it with small things. I don't do it with the big things because it's very hard to control yourself with big things. I control myself with little things. Now once I'm able to control myself with little things, I have control over this power. Which means that I'm able to take now the same volume of urge to sin. Imagine you would take that same power, unstoppable power, and use that to do the show. Imagine you would take that desire of you running through walls to sin to bring yourself to a synagogue to pray. That's what I she wants. He wants you to use that power. I think that up until today you didn't even know that that power works for you. You all Most people thought that the power works against you. No, that power is for you. You have a wild animal in you. I'm calling it a wild animal because if you let it go, then it becomes like an animal. Very quickly. That's your nefish behemit. That's your animal soul. That wants to behave like an animal. It wants to indulge. It wants to enjoy. It wants pleasure. If you don't know how to put your dog on a leash, then then don't buy a dog. You need to understand that you need to put your powers on a leash. So, I hope I think you all came tonight cuz you you you want to. It's not going to work in big scale. I'm telling you already. I tried in big scale, big things. It doesn't work. You have to be very special individual to control big things. My recommendation you start with something small. I give you an example with coffee. You take it to your life. Self-control is the first gear in this action that you need to apply. Now, you might not have this with coffee. So, do it with your phone. Put a timer on your phone and say I'm only 15 minutes on my phone. Uh I'm usually 3 hours, today it's 2 hours. And you actually need to bring yourself, put yourself a timer, and say I understand me being on the phone, I don't benefit, waste of time, all the list that I told you. And you say, "Okay, today the time on the phone will be limited." Even if it's for 2 hours. It's limited. The 2 hours are done, you put yourself on a leash. That's it. And you do it with small things. Telling you to do it to Telling you to do that with something big will be hard. Telling you to put the phone down instead of 5 hours to 4 and 1/2 hours, I think you can do it. I actually think that each and every one of you can have a little bit of common sense and say, "Okay, I'm going to do it I'll put it to the practice." Because if you don't do it put it to the practice, it will never work. To try to do that if you have now a desire in the levels of drugs, pornography, sex, theft, gambling, this is not going to work. You have to be a bulldozer for this to work. But you all have many many many little addictions. Many little things. I mentioned the phone. I also said chocolate. Coffee, whatever it is. You find your little things that you already can tell yourself that you have no benefit from it. It's dumb. Doesn't give you anything. You like it. Admit say, "I like it." I don't try to beautify the situation. I love coffee. End of story. Hashem gave me taste buds that are very for coffee. That's it. I have a weakness. I'm not trying to fool myself. But I use that as my jumping board. Because I have a few other small weaknesses. The big ones I told you I That's I don't deal with the big ones. That's a different class. I'll tell you in the end how you do the big ones. Focus on the small ones. But you want to get to a point that you know how to control this power. And the same way that you were about to burst in anger. Not only controlling it, that's one thing. But knowing to pull this power from within to use it for something positive. The only way to reach to such a level is to master you controlling yourself. Now again, some might say, "I can't. It's too hard." The reality is that everybody not only can, should. You You Why you think you're here in the world? To be the next startup, to make money, to live 80 years and just eat food all day long? Like, why are you I mean, I don't know if you sit with yourself and thinking, "What am I doing in this world?" But if you don't, let's do it for 3 minutes together. What are you doing in this world? Are you benefiting anybody? Anybody when you leave, somebody will lack? Somebody will be sad? Somebody will suffer if you leave? What are you doing here? Hashem brought you to this world. It's a very weird world here. A lot of challenges, a lot of suffering, a lot of pain. What are you doing here? Every day of yours is calculated. You have goals. You have points on your path where you need to set yourself goals to achieve. I mean I mean How are you conducting your life? Ask yourself these questions. Ask me these questions to me a lot. I mean, I already know the answers. I'm 20-plus years after these questions. I know my purpose. I know my goals. I know where I need to be. Everything with me is calculated. Deadlines. I need to buy this time, do A, B, and C. And my voice will tell you, "You can't. It's too much." I can. If I put my mind to it, I can. And you know why? Cuz Hashem makes everything happen. So what will take me 3 months, Hashem Hashem can do it in 3 minutes. If I center myself to this to the energy, Hashem does everything. Everything that I'm bringing down to the world successful, it's because Hashem did it. I just did the the pressing the button, Hashem did the rest. Hashem can do whatever he wants in whatever situation he wants. You need to bring yourself to a point that you understand what am I doing in this world? If you don't have a clear understanding of your life, that's a big problem. You need to understand that Hashem brought you to this world with a purpose. You have to follow the Torah and the mitzvot, that's basic. That's air and food for for your for your soul. There's a world to come, there's eternity, your soul is eternal. There's also this aspect of what am I doing in this world? Are you real really willing to lose your life? To go 70 years without doing nothing. That's what most people do, by the way, walking on a treadmill. They don't do not doing nothing and they think they're doing something. Cuz the business grew or life is just growing or they are successful in certain aspects in their life. But you need to take a break as long as you as many times as you need to ask yourself big big questions, what what am I doing here? Am I doing what I'm supposed to do? Am I doing it right? I have a wife. Am I a good husband? I have kids. Am I a good father? I have a workers. Am I a good employer? Am I a good employee? Uh you have to constantly ask yourself questions where you holding. Cuz nobody will do it for you. If somebody will ask you those questions, you'll get offended. Well, well, why are you asking me? So you need to ask them yourself. Uh very large part of your existence, I know it's hard to accept, is Hashem wants you to refine yourself. Your soul is a diamond, a dirty diamond that comes out of a mine. If you ever saw a mine a diamond that comes out of a mine, it's a dirty black rock. And you need to shine it. For 60 years, 80 years, whatever Hashem gives you in this world, he wants you to shine the diamond. And when you leave this world, you give it to Hashem, your soul, as a polished diamond. That's means, first of all, your soul is not yours. Neshama she natata be tehorah the soul you gave to me is pure. It's not mine. You don't own yourself. Shem owns you. You are obligated to refine the neshama. You are obligated to refine yourself. So that means that you need to constantly grow and grow spiritually. So you're not doing a favor to anyone first of all. You do something that you have to do. Like I told you, the way to do it is when you know how to put yourself in control. That's the name of the game. Control yourself. When you know how to control yourself, then you successful in everything that you need. Now once you know how to control yourself with saying no to something like a coffee, and no, I don't need it. And I'll drink later. Once you know how to put yourself on a leash so to say, when you know how to control when you say no and when you say yes, then by default you know how to pull the power from within. Because you have control over yourself. You control you know how to control your emotions. You know how to control your behavior. You know how to control your thoughts. To reach to a point of full control, I can tell you already you benefit from that. You're successful. You going on your path. You're doing what you need to do. Needless to say, you have true happiness, true peace because you're doing what you're supposed to do. Shem brings you to difficult situations in your life to prove to you that you have this power. And I guarantee to you that each and every one of you, if I sit you down and you think about it real well, each and every one of you can share with us a story of something miraculous that happened to you that you don't know where you got these powers and you were able to pull through and something happened and you change the situation and I know I don't know what came about and I suddenly this and that. Whether it was a fire or big, and you Everyone has a story like that. I guarantee it to you that I sit with each and every one of you, we'll pull out a story like that. That you went beyond your what you thought you can do. So, now you need to understand that there is a strong power in you. How do I bring it out? Why do you want to bring it out? Cuz that's the power that's going to take you to the next level. So, why does Hashem put you in sometimes in situations? Cuz he wants to prove to you that if you put your mind to it, you'll do it. So, he puts you in situations that you have no other option. And many people just give up. I know, that's the part I mean, it's very easy to say don't give up. I don't like saying don't give up, because when you're in that place, you don't want to hear don't give up. You need tools at that point. And the tools are that why you're letting the evil part in you win. And I need to talk to somebody and rise raise them up and pump them and I talk to a lot of people who are depressed. And I talk to a lot of people who are suffering from drug abuse, and they're very low on energy, down, heavy. Like a uh How do you call it? A personal trainer. You can do it. You have it in you. Do one other do. You can do another do. You need to be a personal trainer to yourself. To have all these mantras in your mind. Of course I can do it. If Hashem puts me in a situation, it means he gives me all the tools to go out of the situation. The yetzer hara is going to come and tell you you can't do it. It's too much. It's impossible. Nobody did it before you. Give up already. That's the yetzer hara. Now, you know why you believe him? Because you never overpowered his manipulation. They're saying no, no, no. Coffee later. Because right now the yetzer hara has you wrapped his round his finger. You think your yetzer hara is stronger than you. You think the yetzer hara is the one who's making you sin, not realizing he's just showing you the door. It's you that walks through the door. You have a choice. And I know most people say, "But temptation is too strong." If it was a matter of life or death or whatever, you would get locked on the target. You would do it. Nahon? Ask yourself. How many times you were locked on the target? And in most of the cases it was negative things. But you put your mind to it, you got it. Where does it come about to? Mainly in the in lusts and desires. I remember I used to battle I need Listen, I did the booze, drugs, alcohol, many different things. So as a drug addict you're saying, "Okay, today today I'm not smoking." And then you hide the whatever it is and then when you want it, you become CIA agent. You climb and you know where to find or the Suddenly you have powers that you can't even imagine. Just to get to back to your lust. The internet falls down, instead of saying baruch Hashem for saving me, you become an an IT professional. You figure out how to bring back the internet now. I I have to see I didn't finish the movie. So when you really want something that is bad, you know how to get it. That's it. Y'all agree with me. Now you need to use that power. Now it's almost like me telling you go and ride on a wild horse. I can't. I know you can't. But you can why ride on an old pony, right? Th- This is an old pony. It's a little desire. It's a little lust. A little bit of common sense, a little bit of thought process. I I need it. I don't need it. You focus on the small things, then you don't need to do much. You just build a mechanism of knowing to pull this power, and you know what this power how it's called in uh in the terminology of the Torah? Emunah. That's how how this power is called. Emunah. Faith and belief. You know how the hostages went through the the the hell that they went through? Only Emunah. Only faith that tomorrow they're going to come and save me. Tomorrow's going to be the next day. Maybe tomorrow they're going to save me. The power of Emunah, you can do whatever you want. Emunah, which translate to faith or belief, if you have the right Emunah, you can do whatever you want. You can fly. You're going to go through walls. You know why you can't fly? Cuz you can't but you don't believe that you can fly. Don't Please don't try to fly, okay? But I'm selling you that if you would have the right power of Emunah, you would do anything you want. You know where you see that in practicality? You ever saw the the martial artists that they break things? Huge pieces of cement, huge pieces of wood. It's not because they're strong. And it's not because the strike is fast. It's the Emunah. They see in their mind them breaking it. They believe that they can do it, and they do it. I know that. I was a student of one of the greatest Tamashiwari artists in the world. Tamashiwari is when you break things. And he told me, "It's not the speed, it's not the power, it's not the accuracy. It's the Emunah that I'm going through it." When you believe, you go through it. And when you punch and it doesn't break because you had 1% not even a 0.000001% of a doubt. You have little doubt it doesn't work. That's Emunah. People think Emunah I have to believe in God. Everybody believes in God. Well, not everybody but Emunah is that I know it's going to happen. Now again, like I told you, don't try to fly but we have great sages that teleported themselves, went through walls, did enliven dead people not because there's something special. Emunah. I know and we you you translate Emunah as belief and faith and Emunah is you know that it can be done. And I get like I told you, the reason you can't fly cuz you you were educated and you don't believe you can fly. But if you are a professional in what you do and you have experience, you know you can do it. It will work. So you just need to bring yourself to that place. You don't believe you can fight your yetzer hara. It's like a little kid getting bullied by the school bully and all it takes is you just punch back. You don't believe you can fight your yetzer hara. I'll tell it in a different way. You don't understand or believe or know that your power is much stronger than the yetzer hara. Our sages say one day when we leave the world and we go up to shamayim, you'll meet the yetzer hara and you'll be like this? That's what was bothering me? So dealing with the yetzer hara also let let me rephrase it. Dealing with big challenges very very difficult. I don't want to say impossible cuz everything is possible. Today we're doing stage one that you're just learning to use your muscle of not even fighting. You're not fighting nothing. You just need to use that power to your benefit. That's it. And like I told you, no shortcuts. It's very hard to do with big, start with small. So I gave an example with the coffee, put yourself on a diet. You are all day long on the phone, designate times that you're on the phone. And say to yourself, this is a disease, this is a weakness, it's not good for me, I don't benefit anything from that. I waste my time. In this time I could have worked out and get a good health. I could have been with my wife. I could have been with my child. I could have learned Torah. I could have helped people. I could have sleep. I could have been so beneficial, do so much good things. You have to say that in your mind and then say, "Okay. I'm I'm endless amount of time on the phone. Every day I'm 3 hours on the phone. And next month is going to be 2 hours and 45 minutes. And next month is going to be 2 hours and half an hour." And you understand that you have the weakness, but you're slowly, slowly controlling it. And I remember specially telling you to do it in small things. You It's hard for you to talk lashon hara? No, I mean not to talk lashon hara? Then don't try right. I mean you have to. It's a very, very bad thing. But you start with the little things. Everything you start with something small. Only to get the mechanism that you control your own power. You understand that you're crippled to your own power. You don't use your power. The greats of the kingdom, the great scholars, why are they successful? They know how to surface their power. You know how powerful you are? How strong you are? When you put your mind to it. I remember my my my mom used to tell me when I was young, "Oh, if you put your mind to something, you do whatever you I was I was like, "Oh, my mom is right. I just need to put my mind to it." And I'll get it done. Then the yetzer hara comes and tells you, "No, sir. You're a loser. You can't. I will come and disturb you. Why work hard now for 4 hours when you can just lie on the bed and do nothing and I'll cater you with some good things." So, practically saying, hopefully, you leave this lecture this class tonight, you need to apply something. If you leave this lecture, you just came here, you didn't you didn't do anything. Hamaaseh hu ikar. That's what our sages say. You have to apply it. If you don't apply it, if you don't do what I said tonight or tomorrow, you're not going to do nothing on Friday, by the way. You're just going to sit here. You have cuz the the applying is tonight. You let one more day pass, Amalek already took 50% of the excitement. And by Friday, you don't remember half of what I said here. By Sunday, you don't remember 90% of what I said here. You're nothing. And the excitement and the inspiration went down. That's Amalek. Amalek waits outside, asher karah ba derech, he cools you down. Which means that you need to leave tonight with already a few decisions. Decision number one is you need in whatever way you do, I strongly suggest that things that you need to remind yourself until they become a second habit, write it down. The same way that you put your favorite whatever on as a screensaver, then put messages that you need to see every day. That's how I did when I became observant. I would write myself messages that I need to read every day. And I would put it there I didn't have a screensaver, but in places that I would okay and then and then and then to remind you. And you need to start catering the thought that you are a very powerful being. And it was numb up until now. And only time every time that it came up to the surface is only when you got angry or only when you were frustrated, only when you wanted something something so so bad. So if you want some if you have this power to manipulate the entire world when you want something so bad, start realizing that this is your own power. Now use it for something positive. You're going to fail many times cuz that's how the system works. In order to succeed once, you need to fail 10 times. But if you don't put it in action, nothing's going to happen. I chose coffee, you can choose whatever you want. Can choose whatever you want. And I by the way, this can also be with with harder things. When I quit smoking, I quit cold turkey cuz that's my personality. It's all or nothing. But there were different things in my life that I put under the title of addiction that I got rid of it by reducing. Today 10, tomorrow nine, in a week eight. That can come when you're starting to put yourself under a little leash. And I have all my methods. I told you with the coffee, you know, I have another method with the coffee. I just don't drink the whole thing. I take a few sips. And as I drink, I convince myself it's disgusting. What a waste. Waste of money, waste of time. Could have drank something else. So at some point, I have the upper hand. In the meeting, in the how do you call it the board meeting, I call the shots. I am a master of my own domain. I don't let anybody in. Not that not anyone. It takes years to build that, but you have to start small. So, if you're smart tonight, you walk out of this wonderful structure, and you already take on yourself a quick decision, what is the first little thing that you're going to start controlling? Doesn't matter what it is. And don't be a hero. Something small. Something that you can delay. Something that you can easily push. Something that you cannot go No, I'm not telling you to go crazy. But, whether it's coffee, chocolate, control. It's all control. When you know how to control yourself, you become a master of your entire system, your emotions, your impulses. I was the most impulsive person in the world. No thought process between and my being and reaction. Everything was impulsive. Everything was no control. And I didn't like it. I didn't like that I have no control. How can I have some wild force in me and not be under control? So, I found all the little loopholes how I need to control myself, whether it's losing my temper, whether it's my patience. You know how many situations I have in my life that in previous it would take me about a second and a half to lose my temper in levels of destruction. And now the control is that I I just in many cases just don't move. I'm like, I just look at the situation. Seems like I'm completely ignoring the situation. My wife doesn't like it. She's like, "How come you don't get upset?" I'm like, "What? You want me to get upset?" Whatever you are forcing to get the anger out. I understand the situation. I'm not going to get upset. I'm not going to get upset because first of all, I understand that's a shame. And why should I surface now anger? Why are you asking me to get upset? Why are you so shocked that I don't I don't get upset? I don't want to get upset. I don't bring myself to get upset. Why? To have this force take over me? Now again, what I'm saying here now, that's 20 plus years of hard work of controlling so many little things. First of all, took at least 20 years, which I hope you can understand now in 2 minutes, that I hope you realize that that you have a very powerful force in you. Don't ignore it. Don't think it's a yetzer hara. Don't think it's desires us. It's you. It's you. You just need to know how to use it. Next, you need to know how to control it. Start controlling little things. Once you know how to control control little things, you don't need to do much because you just know how to control. By default, you'll know how to control bigger things. This is the system of the wax on, wax off. Remember that? How many old people are in the crowd? Three? Wax on, wax off. That's Karate Kid, right? The old version. So, he told him for 20 times, wax on, wax on, wax on. He didn't understand what he's doing. He did it in a very I'd say it's easy. But after doing that for 50,000 times, when he came and strike him, the wax on came as an instinct. Wax off, wax on. You That needs to become an instinct to you. Now it's not an instinct to you. Now it's going to take you hours to figure out how you're doing that. But if you do a lot of wax on, wax off, coffees, chocolates, little things, less sitting on the phone, then you're getting it in your system that you know how to move away this voice that distracts you. And then it will work for small and big things. Because you know how to move something away, and if requires to use very strong force, you know how to surface it. So, if you're smart, you already sat here for quite a while. It's how you leave the door tonight. If you don't apply something right away, it won't work. You need to now decide one at least, if not five, of these small things that you're going to put aside and you're going to tackle it. And don't don't take something too big. If the phone is too big for you, don't start with the phone. But, I do recommend that you start with something that you put it how I see it. I call it Yihareg Ve'al Yiba'al Avor. You heard the term Yihareg Ve'al Yiba'al Avor? This is a halakhic term that if somebody comes to you and tells you, "Bow down to this idol or I kill you." You put yourself to death and you don't bow to the idol. Okay? That's called Yihareg Ve'al Yiba'al Avor. You have to go to the to put to death. Don't do the sin. Adultery and a few others. Whatever little thing that I choose to control, for me it's in the level of Yihareg Ve'al Yiba'al Avor. I cannot It can't. This is the like one of the worst sins. Like somebody telling me bow down to an idol. That's the level of severity. If I decide that I don't have any coffee before 12:00 in the afternoon only to control my desires and my urges and my weakness for the coffee, then it's a Yihareg Ve'al Yiba'al Avor. I will kill kill myself. No. I started doing this system when I started observing Shabbat. Because when I started observing Shabbat, it was impossible for me to observe 25 hours of Shabbat. My soul wasn't adjusted to such a thing. So, after 2 hours, I was like psycho and you all know what I'm talking about. So, I observed Shabbat in increments. And I observed Shabbat from 8 to 11. 11:01, go out. But till 11, I would bite my teeth. But sit like this. Till 11. 11:01, shh. But I taught myself for the time that I defined, okay, so bite your teeth. Bite your tongue. Hit the Hit the the your head at the wall. Yeah, like the balagan. You cannot fail. If you fail, you lose everything, you start from beginning. When you do that on something very small, 3 months later, you'll see wonders. You'll see wonders how you control your urges. You'll see wonders how you control your emotions. You're not going to get angry so fast cuz you're going to develop a mechanism, is it good for me? Do I benefit anything from that? Something good happens from that? No. And this happens in a split second. How would you know to do it? Cuz you know how to do it with the coffee. You know how to do it with the phone. You know how to do it with little things. So when something big suddenly kicks in, beat them, you you would you're going to be shocked how this power comes in and screams INSIDE OF YOU, "NO! Can't do that." And you're like, "Okay. Okay, thank you." And then years later, you'll you'll be able to put yourself under control. I call it to put yourself on a leash. But I I cannot afford that something can will control me. I cannot afford something changing my path. And there's no difference between you me and you. At all. If you're asking my recommendation, big things that I think everybody has, put yourself under a leash when it comes to the phone. Make yourself definitions. You know what I do to my kids? You just put some software and there's a timer and after an hour the whole thing shuts down. Now, you need the phone for communication or whatever, but practice with something like that. If you believe that the phone is a big problem you have in your life, and I do believe it is, then try start with that. And you don't have to necessarily say I What I do is okay. Define an hour. Not 1 minute more. And you have to be very assertive with yourself. Not 1 minute more. And these little things make a huge difference. Or like I said yesterday, don't wake up with the phone. Don't go to sleep with the phone. Put yourself under some type of rules. And on the smaller smaller smaller things that if you fail, nothing serious happen. And more than that, it's not a big deal. And I know it always sounds like, "Oh, what's the big deal? It's a little." Do that consistent for at least a few months. You will buy yourself, you'll see this force in you surfaces in the in the situations where you need it. Sounds very easy. I can tell you already it's not. You have to be determined. You have to be You have to believe in yourself. So, hopefully I can give you enough confidence to tell you you have to believe in yourself. You should believe in yourself. Cuz if you exist, God gave you the power to to fight any challenge he gave you. If you're single and you're lonely and you're about to give up, no, no. Hashem made you single, you have the power to hold yourself. If you don't have money and you're struggling with money, Hashem gave you the power to have the stamina, the emunah, the patience to to deal with it. Shem gave you all the powers to deal with all situations. You believe the yetzer hara that you can do it and it's his power. Don't. It's your power. Apply it. Surface it. And you'll see that not only that you're bettering your life cuz you know how to control yourself. And you know how to be more What's the word? Restricted. You know how to to to control situations. I guarantee to you you're going to not only be a much more happier person person, you'll see how your process of growth becomes a much more successful and profound growth. Because you're not letting some force control you, you control the situation. You get the upper hand. And again, what I'm saying here I I I'm telling you already. But it's not a difficult It's not a easy task. Very hard task. But you can do it. And you start with the small things and you put your mind to it and you lock yourself on the small things. Yeah, I cannot cannot cannot do it. Even if it takes you half a year now just to focus on the small and let the big ones still happen. Eventually, you start making your wall stronger and stronger with the power of knowing how to apply being, how to apply judgment. And you'll see that you are now able to go into much higher gear. And it works. And you need to believe in yourself. So, I'm going to wish you great success that when you leave this beautiful place today, that before you pass through the entrance there and grab whatever is left from the uh food, do yourself a favor. You made an effort. You drove all the way out here. You sat here now for 2 hours quietly. You want to be a better individual. You want to be successful. Then you have to you have to understand that if you're not going to do it, nobody will do it for you. And you have it in you. Hashem proved it to you already to you that when just imagine yourself getting upset that you want to just scream and I don't know what. That's the power. Push it. Take it to yourself. Claim it back. Use it. I'm telling you it works. You can't even imagine how powerful it works. And that's really your test. Hashem makes you think, okay, I can't do it. I'm not able to I'll never No. Don't listen to this little voice in you. And make a change. So I wish you when you leave this class tonight that Hashem should provide to you all the tools, all the means, the understanding, the awareness, the power, the patience that you actually apply it. And don't don't get disregard fall in despair if you fail. That's the yetzer hara going to come and tell you, see, it didn't work. It didn't work. It didn't work. You have to have in your mind, it will work. It will work. I will be able to. That's why I'm telling you small things in small increments. Minutes, hours. Don't go don't feel you're like a hero. The yetzer hara is going to eat you alive. But follow the steps I told you. I guarantee it to you next time I come to the house of Mar, you'll you'll tell me, it worked. It worked. I'm able to deal with situations. I'm able to use my power to bring myself to a high level. Hashem does has no intention of making you fail. Hashem is standing here on the side cheering, you can do it. You can do it. Think Hashem is out for you to fail? Think Hashem is setting for you a path to fail? No. Hashem is setting for you a path that not only that you can eat it alive in a second and a half, you just need to understand that all it takes a little bit of effort. You have it in you. And Hashem is cheering in the back. You can do it. Why do you think you have challenges? Come tomorrow, I'll teach you why you have challenges. That's the topic tomorrow in Aventura. There's a reason why you have challenges. Most people don't like their challenges. You need to love your challenges. Your challenges are your steroids. How you grow. No challenges, you won't grow. You become a couch potato, a spiritual fat couch potato. So, you need challenges. So, you need to love them. They're good for you. They're your exercise. Nobody likes to eat food that doesn't have any taste. That's your challenges. Eat food that doesn't have any taste, but it's good for you. Most people don't like working out, but you need to. If not, you're going to become You need to work out. You have to bring out a good body. That's what Rambam says. You want your soul to be healthy, the body has to be healthy. So, you It's all about how you organize things in your mind. And it's just a little mountain that you need to cross. And once you see it, one time works, That's it. then you become a believer. And once you become a believer, then you apply it. And then you're on the road to grow to spiritual growth. And you're on the road to not to be afraid to to deal with your spiritual appointment. Most people are afraid to deal with the yetzer hara. I don't want to trigger my yetzer hara. Shut up, yetzer Shut up, get out of here. And yetzer hara's going to bother me? He's here to help me. Not to bother me. The action is what makes the difference. How you live now, that will decide what happens. It can take a few seconds. I don't know where it will take a few minutes of questions. I got to go already. It's very late. But take a few moments and say okay. I'm leaving with something. If you don't leave with something, you you you wasted your time. I wish you a great success in everything that you do. I wish you to be focused on your spiritual growth. Understand that that is what's required from you, refining yourself. Understand that every little thing that you do has a huge impact. And Hashem come tomorrow I'll teach you why you the why there's challenges, but the challenges are very good for you. The challenges are your steps. Now there's going to be a lot of challenges. Mashiach is coming very soon. Now it's all condensed. A lot of challenges, a lot of attacks from all directions. Now it's the final call. Hashem is now testing everybody, putting pressure on everybody. Therefore, you cannot afford being caught asleep on the on the watch, as they say. And the yetzer hara was able to wrap everybody in our generation besides a few saints with these phones. And I know you all you have the same problem. Start with that. Start with that, you'll see massive massive change in your life. And don't forget, like I said yesterday, whoever wasn't in the classes there, go watch online. Every moment in your life is is valuable. I don't know how you can afford missing missing time. Every second is so huge, every minute, every day. How can you waste your time on nonsense? That's the common sense. It's not good for me. It doesn't benefit me. I don't have much time. Did you notice that tomorrow is Thursday? I can't believe it. Tomorrow is Thursday. I'm already a week and a half in my tour. I cannot believe it. I've done Los Angeles, done Denver. I'm almost done in Miami. I don't know what I took I'm blinking. Tomorrow I'm in New York. Well, not tomorrow, on Friday. So you'll notice how the time flies. Now you can't afford let the time go between your fingers and you're not doing anything. And your main achievement is how much you're growing and serving Hashem in the best way possible. So, there's no time. As man gets out of the mirror, but there's a lot of work to do, a little time. Focus on what you need to do. Hashem should bless you with everything that you need to in order to fulfill that. Put your mind to it. Hashem will make you successful. And be honest Hashem, next time I come, I know that I'm going to see totally different people. Hashem should bless you all with happiness, health, and success. Hashem is all of the world of the world. Hashem you should have a wonderful rest of the week. Shabbat Shalom for next week. Hold this down. And just do it. Just do it. I know it sounds like like I'm taking the copyright of Nike. Just do it. It just has to be done.