Farbrengen Gimmel Tammuz with Rabbi YY Jacobson - 5786

Thank you everybody for gracing us with your delicious and beautiful presence. I know delicious doesn't work with presents and beautiful doesn't work with presence but uh some of you know I make up words. Everybody thank you for coming here with your soul, with your body, with your mind, with your presence, with your regulation and with your irregulation. All the parts. I want to begin with a little story and the person who I heard the story from and who it happened with happens to be sitting here on my left. So he will have to testify if the story is true because I heard it from him. His name is Ribnakim Lkowski right here. This young handsome man sitting on my left comes to our shurum for many many years when he's local. And he shared with me many years ago he is a Usbekistanju Samand you know Samarand he was born in Samand he grew up in Sam born in Lav and then moved to Saman Tashkent and Samant and then came out in the early 1970s. So he was a Russian immigrant and when he came to New York he which year did you move to New York? >> 73 moved to New York. Yeah. So he shared how he tried as often as possible to come see the rebav the bala whether it was a faban or a dvening or a sika. Then later years the rebba started to distribute dollars for charity and whenever he could he jumped over just to get a glimpse to get a blessing to get a dollar. But then he said he got into construction. And when you're in construction, you know, he was in the nitty-gritty of construction, pun intended. So you're usually very filthy and dirty. So he stopped coming because from his job it was very hard to come and he worked long hours trying to make ends meet. So he stopped coming. But once was up a wedding of a friend. So he was dressed up and the Reb was giving dollars. So he went. So the Reb saw him and the Reb said, "Where are you?" So he didn't expect that. He says, "I'm here. Where are you?" It's a good answer. When Hashem asked, he didn't answer, "I'm here." He said, "I was hiding because I was embarrassed." But you said, "I'm here. Where are you?" Said, "I'm here." So the said, "Why don't we see you? You used to come. Why don't we see you? So he told the I work in construction and I'm dirty so it's disrespectful to come. So the said come as you are but come. That's an invitation. Come as you are but come. You don't have to hide. The great mistake of Adam was that after he betrayed God's will, he thought he has to hide. Hashem said you don't have to hide. So come but come as come as you are but come. Come as you are means I come with all my parts. I come with everything but I come I show up. So I want to thank everybody for coming. Those who are here physically, those who are here virtually. I want to ask like we say in the whoever wants should come and eat. We say it after everybody's sitting and the door is locked because it's an invitation that even when you're here, you should show up. I don't have to tell you. You could be here and not be here. So even when you're here to be present. Yeah. I'm not going to tell you to go on and put away your phones and put it on off. Somebody asked what does what's what's the mitzvah of what does it mean to eat? So I said taking away somebody's phone is so I'm not going to ask that. But so to everybody who's here everybody who's going to show up here even those who are here physically and those who are here virtually I want to thank very very much the schula and Heather Shina Rabbi Shina Rabbi Denil Korn for arranging this beautiful beautiful Fabang among all of the other programs and classes and chi for this incredible community and I also want to give a special shout out and gratit Gratitude to everybody who dedicated tonight's Fabrangan. Thank you very very much. Some of them are here, some of them are listening or are going to listen. So first of all, is dedicated by our dear friends Davidid and Shatenstein in loving memory of the unforgettable legendary Rabbi Shalam Lipkar the Rav of the Shul the Shaw in Bell Harbor who passed away last year on Hier. In other words, this Hayer was his first yard site dedicated in his loving and extraordinary legacy and memory. also dedicated Leila and in loving memory of Bernabis dedicated by an anonymous benefactor dedicated by our dear friends from Los Angeles Ruven and Chevy grad in honor of the Reban in honor of those who are sharing his with the world. also dedicated by our very own Ezra David Phillip in the me in the merit in the of his new kala and his new wife Pasara and their reunion of namises was also known as their wedding just three days ago two days ago mazy and dedicated by our very own kumistski in honor of the grandson Alimar Ben and Elan who graduated this week Maz and for all of their children and grandchildren for all the blessings for and I want to add one more thing and that is today I said goodbye to a very close friend of mine who just passed away Ben Aline he was uh he was born in Winnipeg in Canada his father Rabbi Abram Alton is a longtime rabbi and And then he got married to uh Adena Dman from Los Angeles and they moved asim of the Reb to Winnipeg where they built an extraordinary beautiful community. At the age of 30, 13 years ago began to suffer from cancer and six years ago they had to move from Winnipeg here to Munie because of treatments. He fought for six years. He became the assistant rabbi of the BMP of Schul. And uh just uh a few minutes ago was his Levia the BMP of Schul on Martha and uh Rabbi David Likenstein spoke and he said that Schmully brought royalty to the community. He was a royal he was a prince, a real prince and uh due to his stay here for six years with his wife and children, we have grown very close. We became very close friends and uh today just a few hours ago he passed away on Gimmel Tamas the yard site of the one who sent him to Winnipeg and then to my funeral just went by the BMP of Schul tomorrow his funeral is going to be at 770 and 1:00 his burial near the oil in the Montafir cemetery in Queens. So uh I want to dedicate this faban to him as well. It's before his la it's before his kura um just a prince of a human being full of depth and charm and love and kindness and wit and humor and uh fought a battle that's indescribable emotionally and physically. and uh has brought in so much light to the world and so much light to my own life, my own personal life. We've grown extremely close over the last few years and shared a lot of fun moments and a lot of intimate moments as he was going through this very very powerful and difficult and life-changing journey. He passed away today at the age of 43. He just celebrated his birthday after and just two weeks ago I went to see him. He could still speak and I sat near his bed and uh he told me that uh he fought very very hard and it's time for him to go to the next world. I was alone in the room so I asked him how much longer you going to be here. She told me two weeks and two weeks later, two weeks and a day, Gimmel Thomas he uh he passed away. And those that last conversation he uh spoke so much love, so much pain, so much love and so much empowerment. He thanked me as I thanked him, blessed me. And uh last week I went he was sleeping but I went just to learn by his bedside that I sat it was parl. I sat I think for two hours or so and I just learned at his bedside and uh it was extremely powerful because you know a soul knows everything and when the body doesn't block it it knows infinite infinity. Today I was told that it's close to the end. I went there and uh they thought he's going to die but he didn't. And uh his wife asked me to sing some nunam. So I sat there just a few people in the room and sang some songs and then I left and 10 minutes later 5 minutes later around 4:15 410 he returned his beautiful and special soul to its maker. So the truth is it's very hard for me to speak. I'm very uh I'm very emotional and uh my son saw me, one of my children. So he said, "Just go and breathe and sing. Just go and breathe and sing." And he says, "And if you have something to say in between the gum, you'll say it." So that's what we're going to do. Okay? will be here and sing and breathe and connect and uh crack open. told me a few weeks ago, I was sitting. He was a very authentic person and especially after everything he and he probably had 20 surgeries, 20 crazy surgeries. And uh he looked at me and he said, "Everybody's cracked open. Everybody's ready. Everybody's cracked open." He said, "Everybody's cracked open." That was one of the last things he told me. Everybody's cracked open. G. Give it. Give it. Don't hold. this is the time. So yeah, it's uh very unique times now. You could feel that uh the last walls of the gullus are coming down and walls mean not just physical walls but the emotional walls are coming down. So to my dear friend and to all of our people to all of you, my dear beloved friends and may the light may the light that the Reb brought into the world and continues to bring into the world inspire us, uplift us, empower us to be able to see our own light. Animmides. That's the niggan I just sang a few hours ago at his bedside. You give me the right pitch. Names me. I know. You know this special song. And you know this special song. >> You don't tell me about all your friends. Oh, say your friends. Oh yeah. It sha without tell me you know the song really the secret society so I'm the only one who was invited I know she Oh yeah. Names me. You don't know the story. My now she now she go. Yo yo yo yo yo yo ya. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. I am I now. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. You know. I I know you know you and Nana. Oh yeah. Now I heard the following story also from the Balamisa person that happened to and I actually just met him two nights ago in Los Angeles, Beverly Hills. They had an event in honor of Gimmel Tamos in the Beverly Hills Hotel Monday night. It was no, it's Tuesday night. So, uh, I'm actually met him over there, Rabbi Baruk Schlime Kunin Kunin, who the Reb sent to California in 1965. And today, under his leadership, there are 450 kabat houses in California. 450 kabat houses in California. But when he went out in 1965, there was not one kosher restaurant in the entire West Coast. Today, it's a different story. Anyway, Rabbi Kunan, for those who know him, is a very, very intense person, and probably nobody else could have taken on the clip of California in the 1960s. Uh he is a true bulldozer and a very powerful and potent human being. And part of his process of building he built 450 centers and a lot of institutions. He borrowed lots of money and he built lots of buildings and he uh went out on a limb. He had a skin in the game and he sometimes did things in a very very intense and what some people would say exaggerated way. I told a story in Los Angeles that he himself didn't remember it. And I don't know if anybody else in 770 besides me heard it. Maybe, but I don't know. It didn't look like it. When I was a child, there was one simra and he would come every year for and he got a haka and he got the big safety. It's called Msiah. It's a huge safety. The freed started to write the in the middle of the war. He said with this we'll go welcome Msiah but he never finished it. And the Reb finished it 1970 tulhammed 20th yard site of the rebay and every shambas or special times they would read it in shin 770 it's a big big sata with a beautiful crown so it was one year I remember rabbi kunan got one of the hakas and he got mashia seat a big sat was a heavy sata and he went to the bimma to go dance you go from dar kesh it's a big schul so you had to walk a long way till the beimma to go around the beimma. As he was walking with the seat, he went by the reb was in the front. The place was packed legally supposed to be there two 3,000 people but looked like there were nine 10,000 people hanging from every nook and cranny. just don't tell the authorities. And uh it was a miracle everybody stayed alive. But I had a place all the way in the front and it was also very noisy. You have thousands of people and would start 1:00 in the morning because would fab before. So 9:00 p.m. there was a fab. It went till 12. Then they took a break for an hour to set up the shul and then 1:00 he would come down for a and they would go for a few hours. So it was late late at night and he walks by the Reb with the safety to go to the bimma. Now I the Reb didn't call him over because he was holding the safety. So the Reb bent over to him and he not whispered but he said into his ear loud enough that he should hear and loud enough that I should hear. And it's good I heard it because he didn't remember the story when I told it. The Reb said to him with a glow on his face. He said two words toyu nish toyu for those who come to the shim or will come to the shim know that is one of the very important ideas in kabala and su in the world of toyu there was tremendous energy but not enough containers and therefore the ka plots it's called the breaking of the vessels and on the debris of hashem built the world of tikun of of integration of of synthesis of symmetry where the lights are smaller and the containers are larger. So two words toldu which means you need to but not only toyu you need lights of toyu in any case there was a story with a will that somebody left him for of California. It was a huge huge gift and when the person died the children see that this whole amount of money is going to go for charity. So they put in a claim in the court that the person was scenile or that the rabbi, you know, compelled them uh fed up and really the money should stay. It was a big amount of money. It was a huge huge amount of money and it went to court and it was a big court case and Rabbi in the middle sees the other side is victorious and triumphant. He's going to lose. He's going to lose. and he was building build big projects based on this. So this wouldn't just be a loss that he doesn't have the money it would be tremendous debt. So middle of the there was a remission like a recess. So he goes out in those days there were you remember you remember the telephone booths. Yeah. You remember the telephone in the booth you put in a dime. You put in a quarter you call he goes into one of the booths and he calls Rabbi Khadakov. Rabbi was the personal secretary of the Rebba and he calls him up and he says it's good what should I do? So he says, "Wait, I'll go ask." So he goes and he asks and he comes back to the phone and he tells the said, "You shouldn't be stressed out. You should be relaxed, regulated, and joyous, happy." That's it by doesn't. So in the telephone booth, he starts dancing. He push starts dancing. And if you know Rabun, you know he's not stop dancing low key. He's dancing at the whole courthouse. He would scream and he's jumping and he doesn't know he's said doesn't ask doesn't make sense. I'm losing millions of dollars. Who's going to take care of the buildings? Foreclosures for a closure. He's dancing away. Listen to this. The lawyers of the other side walk by the telephone booth and they see that the defendant is dancing with ecstasy. So now they can reach one or two conclusions. One conclusion is he's a lunatic and he lost his marbles cuz he's about to lose millions of dollars. Makes sense. He went crazy. But they thought to themselves, why is he so happy? It must be it must be that he has he got hold of some piece of evidence that's going to tip the scales to his side and they got petrified. So when they came back after the remission they said you know what we're doing a settlement and they did a major settlement and he came out with a huge amount of money. This is what I heard from him. So what does this mean? You know some >> huh no he started to dance in the telephone booth the lawyers of the other side see their defender dancing so they concluded why is he dancing right >> exchange with the rebel was just >> no you're mixing up two stories >> nishu was the story that I saw that was to describe who he is I'll explain to you no problem nish to is my story that I heard me >> that's it that was the end of that story okay >> and then there's a second story that was to describe the profile you have to give a profile right so that was a profile now you'll understand the second story the second story I wasn't there was in California I heard it from him sometimes you know we think things through because we're very intellectual but the brain is a beautiful thing. We always talk about it but it's also it's also uh could be a tremendous obstacle for life. Being present means being openhearted. So that's the story that uh that I sh I heard from him years ago and I shared it again these writes that he heard from the that is the same letters like B is the same letters like what's the meaning of this starts with your thought now that's not so simple those of you who deal with anxiety and there's a few of you in this room for whatever reason. I don't know why, but the writes, we just learned to chas a few weeks ago. Says, we say every morning, remember this is in It's true. You took us out of Egypt. You redeemed us from a house of bondage. You killed all of their firstborn. And the firstborn of the Jewish people, you emancipated. You liberated. So the says, what does this mean? Why are we mentioning it? And why was this so important? So he says that refers to the first glimmer of consciousness. What's is the first born? So he says represents the first the first paradigm of consciousness that comes into your mind at any moment. That's always the that's the first born. From there evolve already other thoughts, other children and other products. But what's the is the foundation of consciousness and that's where you have to be careful it's remember there's two paradigms in consciousness one paradigm he says is what's that you're in control that you need to control the world you need to control life and that's miserable from there comes all the anxiety in the world. Let it go. Doesn't you don't need a spear and a sword or a gun. Means when something loses its foundation, it's dead. Let it go. Let it die. Take the ear out of it. Don't give it so much credence. He says that you let free. So that's in the word. They think that's in the words of right it's not active now think happy I'm miserable but I'm going to make believe I'm happy that doesn't make anybody happy you know when people do that then they're more miserable they become passive aggressive in their misery somebody sent me a line before you before pes or middle of p he says in our family the mig is that you yourself don't have to be anxious but the people around you should be anxious so that's your avoid you yourself should be calm but it's a mitzvah to make the people around you anxious means it's a very internal. It means that when that spark comes in, there's two ways. There's aim and there's a mit is I live in a small confined enslaved space where I'm in control and my ego is in control and I'm worried about everything because I need to make sure that I'm going to survive in this world. And from there come already all the other thoughts and strategies and plans that's kind of not going to go out of if the belongs to that's what's the first par first paradigm is bit let go open up your heart be your channel the say no no no no no we need to be in control and then then you can go free so that's what I'm working on just sharing what I'm working on. Thank you for listening. It's so deep because it's like boom. It's like it takes over. It hijacks the first instinct of consciousness and that's it. And then you're you're you're in captivity. I cannot get all the money. >> Very good. >> Masleto called by you know writes in it says ini. Now in he doesn't say but he quotes it from and he says it's brought in I think only with difficulty did allow us to speak words of chabas. So that means the whole industry was not so simple. says, "So what are you supposed to do on chabas?" It doesn't mean so what are you supposed to do on Shabbas if not says really what he's supposed to do on Shabas he's supposed to sing they realize that you can't just have you need so they allow I quoted the other night Rabbi Sak says what's the difference between a sermon and a party and a faban what's the difference you know the difference said as follows A party, everybody talks and nobody listens. A sermon, one person speaks and nobody listens. Right? If you ever had a good rabbitical sermon, you know the good rabbi speaks and nobody listens. That's why every schul has 100 pamphlets for shambas. But during this sermon, they should be able to have what to do. He said at a nobody speaks and everybody listens. So maybe we can uh go to that space instead. We could sing and everybody could listen. You could listen to the heartbeat of the person sitting near you and then you could listen to your own heartbeat. Ben Shimon on the keyboard. You know Ben Shimon, the best of the best. And Yankee tidal bomb on the video. Gavaldic Yankee, you're the best. and silver on the yeshiva.net Everybody say, "Oh, we have a lot of moas here." I see three mohas. Everybody Yet I am I am I above I am above. I am I am aba. Yeah. Everybody Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am yeah thank Yeah. I am I I and I May you. I am yeah. Ah yeah Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I am Oh yeah. I am Yeah. I know I leave everything. Don't worry, it's Look how look everybody seems relaxed. Everybody seems relaxed. So you can also relax and I can also relax. Oh yeah. My dearest friends, I heard something very special, very moving from a friend of mine. He's a therapist in Chicago. His name is Byakov Danvski. and uh he shared a very very moving insight. He's also a grandson of the alterba recently published beautiful. The Gmorra says the night is divided into three sections, three watches, three parts. And in each mishmar, Hashem cries shake. He roars like a lion and he laments the destruction of the light, the destruction of the B mikdash. And says, we have a sign down here for each mish for the for the change from each shift to the next. says, "The first watch of the night, the dunkey braze." You ever heard a dunkey? Yeah. It gives a nice like awesome. Huh? You're laughing because some that remind you of that. Yeah. Okay, I get it. Yeah. It's a guy who came to his rabbi and he said he needs a job. My brother once told me a good joke. He said there was a guy and somebody said, "What do you do for, you know, people the first question is when you don't have anything to say? What do you do for a living?" Right? They ever ask you, "What do you do for a living?" And what do you say? I'm a chiropractor. What do you say? You're figuring it out. Anyway, so this guy, what do you do for a living? He says, "I work for my brother." You know, it's a good one, right? I work for What does your brother do? He's looking for a job. Kulpon, why am I saying this? Oh, a guy came to a rabbi and he says that he needs a job. So the rabbi says, "Any options?" He says, "Yeah, there's two options. One, he was offered to be a singer and one he was offered to be a dancer." So the rabbi says, "You should become a dancer." He says, "Why? You've seen me dance?" He says, "No, but I heard you sing." Okay, it's called. Okay. So is the first thing the donkey braze the second watch the dog's bark the end of the third watch the infant starts nursing from its mother and the woman starts telling stories to her husband she starts conversing ing with her husband right away and you want to say. So how do you know that dawn is about to break and you could say the answer is when ishamis when the woman starts conversing with her husband you know that it's time you could dawn is going to break and you could say krishna in a few minutes explains remember in those days it's before so the night life was that when it's sunset you went to sleep and you woke up you woke up before dawn break Yeah, we wake up late, then we go to sleep late. You follow the rhythm of nature, which is the normal way to live. You follow God's rhythm just like the chickens. I have a rooster in my backyard. 450. How do I know it's time? 450. He starts chakras. Nothing. He's already after 450 is no such a thing. It was like no excuses. 4:50 you got to wake up. So Rashi says they went to sleep early. They had a good night's sleep. What's the first thing you do in the morning? A woman starts talking to her husband. Remember it's before the cell phones. It's before the kids have to go to school. It's before breakfast. It's the best time right in the morning before everything. That's the sign for the Mishmushes comes the and he says that this is a metaphor for gulos the night of gulos has three sections comes the benesai has a commentary called onra and he says the first part of golus isam was the philosophy that believed everything is everything is physical says that what happened at the beginning of with the advent of Greek philosophy. You remember all reality is now measured by the yard stick of what I can measure with my mind. If I could prove that it exists in the laboratory, it exists. If not, it doesn't exist. That's what Greek philosophy did. In many ways, it obliterated paganism of but it also obliterated the experiential vibing with God because the world is now a dead place and we just measure everything with the measuring sticks of our rational minds and if it doesn't fit into that it doesn't exist. Meaning paganism with all of its error had something true about it in the sense that it said that everything is alive. God speaks through the trees and through the mountains and through the oceans and through the stones and through the snakes and through the frog. The mistake of idol paganism is that it was all fragmented. And of said it's all one. Hashem it's all one. Everything is one. But the truth that the world is alive that Greek philosophy killed nothing is alive. You measure it and says that's why in the first bas they didn't need a davin. There was no ding in the first bas. Fascinating. The whole institution of davening shak didn't exist. You could dav a minute a day. You could d why? Because the whole life was dvening. Nothing. There's nothing else but that. What else are you doing? You go you're looking at a tree. What do you think you're looking at? You talk any conversation is a conversation with God. There's no conversation in the world that's not a conversation with God. And if it's not a conversation with God, stay away. You're talking to your wife, you're talking to God. If you don't believe me, ask your mother-in-law. You're talking to your you're talking you're always talking to God. If you're not talking to God, it's a dangerous conversation. Huh? This is the boy who told me that when I start embodying what I say, I won't have to use many words. You hear? You hear that? You hear that? You hear what I'm talking about? So, every conversation is a conversation with Hashem. If it's not a conversation with Hashem, it's not worth having. You hear the FA, don't have it. Why you having it? You saying you I'm at a business meeting. It's a conversation with Hashem. It's the way Hashem is manifested in business. Fine, no problem. So the whole life was ding in the second B mikdash. The Greek philosophy came and said, "No, reality and God is measured. God became a noun in Tanak." You don't have the word God. There's no such a word as God. God is living energy. Right? There's always a it's infinity. So now they instituted how why did I mention this? Oh. So they so the first the first era of gulos is everything is everything is just physicality and there's nothing else. At some point humanity realized it's not cutting it. It's somehow not filling our void. So we went to the second stage dogs bark. It says in a big safe of kev is ko lev all heart all emotion. A dog is man's best friend. What do they call man's best friend? From they went to kevle emotions. People suddenly realize you need emotions, you need romance, you need connection, you need emotions. So that's now the dogs are barking. But everybody understands that emotions themselves can also take you off track. A person wakes up in the morning and says, "My heart is telling me that I need to get divorced." You have six kids. My heart is telling me I need to get divorced. be my heart is telling me I need to move to New Zealand for six years. You have to be very careful because your heart is full of skeletons. With all due respect, your heart is filled with trauma. Your heart is still broken. Even emotions are not God. They need anchor. There's truth. It could be a dog barking. Dog barking is cute and maybe sometimes endearing, but it's a dog barking. And then comes the third stage. The third stage right before dawn is and and and by the way, you see the second stage, you see what happened in our generation, right? There's a tremendous outpouring of emotions, a backlash to cold reason. But emotions as beautiful as they are can also lead people astray. This is not God forbid to knock emotions. You know I don't do that. But it is to tell us all that when emotions are not anchored in hashem they can be very confusing and they can take you completely away from truth and because it's your emotions nobody's allowed to say anything because it's your emotions. So now you turned your emotions into God, but a lot of your emotions are completely disconnected from your own truth and they're going to make you miserable. And then comes the third stage, the third era of night right before dawn. The child is looking to nurse from its mother and the wife, the woman is conversing with her husband. And that's the time when the feminine in each of us is sharing its voice and telling its husband that it needs to tell its story. It's the isha in every person. The Israel which is called the isha missis and bilah conversing with her husband. Miss Paris telling her story. It's the softening of the heart, sharing its very, very deep emotional experiences with her husband, with Hashem, and with everybody around us, reflecting Hashem's energy. The inner child inside of us is looking to connect to the milk, to the breast of its mother. Real real raw attachment. And that's the sign that soon you could say and what that really means is that here you'll be able to really understand the entire mental health uh crisis or experience that's happening now. It's really is the feminine soft side in each of us that is telling a story and it's a story that needs to be heard by the husband. the husband inside of us. The masculine needs to be attentive to the feminine inside of us and outside of us to hear the story. A lot of people are very uncomfortable with this and they feel that this is a distortion of of truth, right? But that's the error right before dawn break. And if you're getting very triggered by what I'm saying, you have to listen to the isha inside of you. And you okay, I get it. I've been there, done that, right? Isa, it's a very very uh delicate space. It's a very sensitive space. It's a very sensitive space. It's a space that many of us for years were uncomfortable going to. We thought that harshness and toughness and strength and power and potency will lead the way and break through all the barriers. And there's certainly a truth to that especially in certain generations where there was that was the path. But there comes a time where we need to soften our hearts. Not need we want to soften our hearts and listen to the soul inside of us what it's saying. It has a deep story to tell. It's a beautiful story. All of our children need it. All of our students need it. We need it. Isa. And the more you're triggered by it, the more listen to that too. Be the feminine mother or the feminine wife or the feminine soul. And listen to that too. And that's the preparation for Krishna in a dark home. That's Krishna. You don't have to be afraid of that part. Paris says for those who don't trust anything I say for those who need to do homework. Not you, but for those who have to do homework. Not you either. Huh? And he says miss sapperis comes from the word evan sapper sapphire which is the shining luminescent bright gem sapp right the image of kivas is that the light of the moon is becoming equal to the light of the sun feminine and masculine is the sun and the moon and the sun and the moon we Oh, have a difficult relationship. Every we try to make peace. It's not easy. The moon waxes and waines and the sun is like why you so moody. And that's why the sun gave the moon a name and it's called lunacy. Lunatic. Lunar. You're muga. Like be like me, stable, consistent. Look at me. I'm a macho normal guy. Consistent. Sun never changes. The moon disappears. Two days he's in depression. Or she's in depression. Yeah. Learn from me. 5:00 I'm up. Boom. Boom. Stable. The moon. I don't know. First you're small, then you're big, then you're beautiful, then you're small again. Now you're in depression. What's going on? Be could you be normal? You understand what's happening? Huh? The light of the moon. It's deep stuff. This very important things. The light of the moon. It's hard. It's hard because masculinity is a blessing. Masculinity is God's energy. Masculinity is mashia. But a real mashpia is not afraid of the macab. A real mashpia can hold space for the macab. My wife told me something very insightful once. She said, "Most men, I hope you won't take it wrongly. She said it to me, so it's not your problem. Most men are not marrying wives. They're marrying their mothers. They want their wives to do for them what their mothers never did. And many women are not marrying husbands. They're trying to marry their fathers. They're trying to get from their husbands what they didn't get from their fathers. The poor wife doesn't know how to be his mother. And the poor husband doesn't know how to be her father. So the men have to learn how to be men, not anything else. My wife can't be my mother. Everybody needs a mother. There's no question. You need a mother. And sometimes God needs to become your mother or you need to become your own mother. Right? I'm going to tell you a beautiful story. Such a nice story. I I so appreciated the story. I said it not long ago. I think it's a very beautiful story. Was once in there's a Jew in Crown Heights. He's an alter today. He's in his 90s. Can I and he's a very interesting fellow. Yeah. As they say, he dances to his own beat. He always did. And uh the Reb came the Reb was and the Reb came with his had a small Tyra. This came from the brothers of Slavita. You know the brothers of Slavita, the Shapiro brothers. It's a whole story how we got to say huh the pin says 8:00 the the Slavita brothers the Shapiro anyway had that was a very precious and he would dance it was a small and he would go some dance with it as he would walk from the front to the bimma so big crowd so people would kiss the tyra and there was a tremendous opportunity to ask the rebba for a blessing this person He was tipsy. He took a little mashka. So he was a little tipsy. So he saw the was this is in the mid 80s. So the was already in his 80s. The 1982 alf became 80 years old. So the must have been already 84, 85, 86. He tells the he was tipsy. He tells the when he sees him, he kisses. He says, He says, "Besides everything else, you're such a handsome man. It's so nice. We have such a handsome Reb." You know, the Reb had a beautiful uh You could see those who saw him, you could see a tremendous husband stand. It was you couldn't it was couldn't take your eyes off that had a beautiful face. as much as you can see it in the pictures and the videos live it was infinitely more a beautiful so nice to look at him so this is what he tells the besides everything else as they say in English you're one handsome man so the smiled and faked it this poor guy woke up in the morning and he sobered up and he remembered you know you know he remembered what he did last night, right? And he felt horrible. It's very The Reb wasn't 25 years old, you know, the Reb was already close to 90. So he went over to the Reb, I don't know, the next day a few days later, and he saw the Reba and he asked Ma, he said he wants, "I want to apologize for what I said. It was disrespectful. I want to apologize." The vintage the Reb looks at him. The Reb was a very regulated person internally. You could see he looks at him, smiles. He says, "Vos, why are you apologizing compliment?" Such a compliment I haven't received in so many years. What are you apologizing for? Whoever told you're a handsome guy and nobody told him you're told them other things. You're this, you're that, you're that. Right compliment and then I thought and who's the last probably the last person his mother probably his mother probably when she saw him that's what she complimented and she passed away you know 1964 to the story after he would go have the suda And then he would come back come down and around 5 in the morning he would teach a new A lot of the classic nigun that today are sung in the whole world were taught by the midtonu both. Beautiful, beautiful, the slow one and some of the fast one ate some. Yeah. I said all these they were taught in the morning before dawn. By dawn the Reb would give mashka to anybody who made that they're going to be add and learning is that year. He would give them mashka and then they would teach he would teach a niggan. One year tshinyas 1958 he taught a song which we sang earlier called shamil shamil is the name of a cheschnan kazak it's a whole story I'm not going to tell the story now it's a whole story that he said that when he sang the niggan he cried profusely especially as he was explaining the meaning of the song before he taught it this niggan came from a chachchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchnney Muslim spiritual leader called shamil till today if you go to the Caucus Mountains, Kafka. He's a legend. Sham and the Reb taught it 1958, which was a 100 years from his capture by Thesar and his death. 185 1858 that didn't know. But this year, I went to the Caucus Mountains with my family because my mother Zangazun was celebrating her 90th birthday last summer. So, we took her to her birthplace, which is Coutis, Georgia. And Georgia is near Armenia, near the Caucus Mountains. The Nazis couldn't get into Georgia because the Caucus Mountains. So she survived. Her family survived. The Jews of Georgia survived. So we went back there. So my nephew did a whole history of Shamil. He told us the story as we were in the Caucus Mountains. In any case, the Reb was sobbing by the niggan in the morning. Shakus would start at 10. Even some there was a young boy I heard the story he shared the story I think on Jem Rabbi Nam Kaplan he was walking on Kingston Avenue and the Reba had a mother her name Reb's mother's name was Rabbit Kama she passed away in ' 64 and she would come down and shul she had a place in the women's section and she was walking down Kingston Avenue toward 770 a little before 10 to come to Shakar she meets this nine-year-old boy named Kappla she asks him you were yesterday by the song. So he says, "Yeah." So she says, "How was it?" He was nine years old. So what did he tell her? He says, that's what he knew. Didn't stop crying. That's what he told her. That's all he knew. He saw that was crying. And he says he walks to Shul and he sees she's following him. He goes into the men's section downstairs in 770. And who's behind him? Did Eb's mother? She said she forgot. There's a woman's section. There's a men's section. It's not like her to forget. She goes into the men's section behind him. And he's she doesn't know what happened. She decided she has to dive in in the with the men and she comes in and she's in the back and she just stares at her son who's standing there in the front and she looks at him for a few moments and then she leaves. And then he realized that as a mother she was just worried about him. She heard that he cried so much. So she went in right. That's the t that's a touch. Not everybody got that. Not everybody got that. Uh it's to be seen not for your achievements or talents but for your pure essence without anything else. It regulates people in a way that can't be described. If you didn't have it, you know the consequences. You have to work on it sometimes your whole life. It's not simple. So when I heard that this person, the Reb said, "I never I didn't get this compliment in so many years." That's what I thought about. You know, I connected the two stories. You with me? You're connecting the stories. He's a scientist. So everything has to fit into his puzzles. Huh? So there comes a time before dawn break what's happening now is each of us has the masculine side and the feminine side. The masculine side represents mashia leadership presence. You got this. You're channeling God's energy. You can lead. You can be a leader. You don't need anybody's validation. You have God's validation. The feminine is the receptive malus inside of us that needs that deep connection and attachment and experience of trust. This is a time of bah. That's the story that's being told. And the husband needs to listen. Just listen. Just be present. Don't judge. Don't contextualize. Don't rationalize. You don't have to make sense out of it. Just listen to the story. This is the moon reclaiming its light because the sun needs the moon as much as the moon needs the sun because ultimately the sun and the moon are one. But in the process of they separated. So that's that's that's art is and we don't have to be afraid of it. That's what's happening. Right before dawn, the woman has a very important story to share and the husband wants to listen. So for all of us to be able to listen, >> sure. The song is Chamil. We sang it before. Oh, we could sing it again. You need the right pitch. It's not an easy nick to sing. >> Huh? >> Let me tell you the story before we sing it. Okay. I'll tell you the story that said, so the story that shared this is I wasn't born yet, but it was all transcribed. I read the transcripts. >> Yeah. Ben, I think. No. >> I sang it today by a few minutes before he passed away. I sang Shamil by all time. >> Yeah. I'll tell you the story that Ebis said. And the truth is, you know, I always I grew up with the story, but we thought it was like some, you know, it's like a legend. And then when I went there, it's like a real by them it's Shamil. They still talk about Shamil like we thought Shamil is some fictional figure. He's like a real figure in the Cheschnian world in the in the in the K Caucus Mountains. Kafkas Kafkas and you don't start up with them. And Georgia is right near there. So don't start up with us either cuz we're Georgian. Anyway, so uh Shamil was an interesting fellow. He was a Muslim. He was a spiritual man and he was a warrior and he did not want to be under the tyranny of the zar. This is Zar Nicholas who was a Russia maki Nicholas the first all the continistan the whole story of the continistan that's Nikolai and Nicholas you know the story of the continistan you don't know oh okay it's one of the most tragic stories in Jewish history a decree that every he had to have a quota of soldiers and every Jewish community had to provide children to become soldiers for 25 years and they were kappas they would grab children. This is Nikolai. Nikolai the first. Nicholas the first. It's time of the m. In any case, it's one of the very sad periods of Russian Jewish history. What the Russian Jews went through, nobody even realizes. Shamil fought the Zar tooth and nail. He didn't want to be under them. He wanted to be independent. And he was a spiritual figure. And the Caucus mountains are impossible to conquer. They're as they're very steep. They're winding. There's pathways at every every inch, every centimeter. So the Zar's armies could not conquer Shamil's armies in the Caucus Mountains. And this guerilla war went on for decades and decades. Shamil was fearless. He was powerful. He was strategic. And he was also very spiritual human being. Thesar decided to offer him a peace treaty. Come down from the mountains and I'll offer you a peace treaty. We'll make some deal. You know in Israel they call it Oslo. You know Oslo gushkif. Trump calls it Iran. Iran deal. We'll make a deal. Everybody will be happy. And Shamil said okay if that's the case we'll do it. He came down. It was a trap. They had him. They arrested him. They put him in a cell. In the cell, he was there for a long, long time. There was a window. He could see the peak of the mountains where he came from. And then they exiled him far, far away. And he lived in exile for many, many years until he died. This happened in 1858. in the morning the told his story 5:00 in the morning and he said that was in the place where Shamil was living in exile and he heard the niggan that Shamil composed and the niggan has a few stanzas and Shamil composed it to express his own experience. experience his own emotional experience and the Reb said he'll teach the niggan that Shamil taught the heard it and brought it back to the and he took the whole story of Shamil and used it as a metaphor for life. So now I want to sing with you this song explain to you why Shamil composed this song and what the did with the song and how the Reb explained it. Did he know I know. Yeah. I am above Yeah. So Shamil, you'll give background. Shame is sitting in his cell and he can see the mountains and he's a spiritual figure. He's not just a politician. So he has a soul. You understand what I'm saying? He has a soul. I don't mean that politicians don't have a soul, but it can get eclipsed. Yeah. You know what Sharansky said? He said, "What's it doing to me and other Knesset members? I was in prison before I came to the Knesset." Yeah, Dawson Sharansky. I was in prison before before I went into politics. I was in prison. Shamil, he had a soul. So, he's reflecting on his experience. And the Reb told a story and he says the first stanza is all nostalgia. You know how old people say they get the alag you know the good old days is sitting and he's looking up and he's remembering the days when he was an independent fierce warrior didn't have the answer to anybody besides God you know it's that internal sense of pride and dignity you can hear it the opening the nostalgia, the memory, the yearning. There's a sadness. You know, the contrast He's remembering those days in his mind. He's still on top of the mountain. the master of his thousands or tens of thousands of pupils and disciples who he uplifted, who he embraced, who he inspired. And now he's recognizing the contrast where he is, where he was, and where he is. And here there's a hope for the future that he's going to come back. Everything is going to work out. Everything is going to be restored to its original glory. Misery is not the DNA of creation. Even though it sometimes feels that way but it's going to come back. So that's why there's the three stanzas. So first hear the memory. Yeah. He's very He's very grounded in reality. He's not in fantasies. Now the third stanzo. Now's the whole My I am my mama. Aassid hears Shamil singing this And what does he hear? A real has ears. He's attentive, right? It says into you have uh you have dug dug out ears for me. So the marg says that special to be able to be you need special ears to be able to be. It's special. It's not the same ears. Let go of the old ears. It's ears. It's special ears to to experience the frequency of of divine oneness. It's different ears. And that's why you have to be careful what you listen to because if you fill your ears with certain things, you can't the ears can't hear anything else. If you want to hear the frequencies, remember what I told you of par. You remember what I told you? was a the and he won he was a tremendous mahm in mitzvah tremendous now usually people who are between you and me are OCD they usually suffer from OCD because they have religion so they let it out in religion but really they have a psychological they need treatment they're obsessed they're nervous they're anxious and they now they have the Mishna Bura to back them up but they need help. Yeah, was a very regulated person but he was a unbelievable mahm. So usually the two don't come together and once he explained he says the reason in mitzvah he was a tremendous he said I want to be able to experience and if you're not very refined you create blockages you can't experience it. So he wasn't obsessed. He did wasn't m because he wasn't obsessed. He was very calm. But he knew that to be to fine-tune your violin, to be able to hear the music, it has to be very fine-tuned. If you stuff your system, you're not going to be able to hear the music. Yeah, I know myself. I know myself. If I eat something I'm not supposed to eat, the mimemer that I learn 10 minutes later, I'm not going to understand. I'll understand it, but very superficially. It won't go into me. If I'm disciplined, if I if I stay connected and I'm disciplined, I say no to what I want to do, then I learn the ah you can experience it. So this was listening to Shamil and he heard it. He heard it and what did he hear? So the said he heard that this is the whole story of life. The the soul is the soul is one with that's a soul. A soul is completely submerged. What did you tell me? My son gave me a visual. He said, "You're watching a fire and there's rays that come out of the fire, you know, and you sometimes think that the rays are a reality and you want to hold on to them, but really they're just reflections of the fire. It's hashemish and that's a soul. There's no ego. It's just a reflection of the source and that's the soul." The nama is in the source. It's one with the source. But then like Shamil says it comes from a tall mountain into a deep abyss. Asks first it should say and then you created it and now let me tell you what type of soul it is. It's pure. You can't be pure before you were created. First tell me that you created it and then tell me what type of creation it is. Saysu in other places a lot of places that is higher than before you were created you existed but not as an existence you existed as the light of so is preabarasa is a second stage of the soul. We only know the soul that exists as a creation. That's not the soul. The soul is in Aramaic is light. Soul is it's pure infinity. Then it becomes and then it goes into me. And like Shamil, it's in a cell. It's in a body. It's in an animal consciousness. It's looking for validation. It's looking to make ends meet. It's trying to survive in a difficult world. Everybody has their own coping mechanisms and survival templates. But deep down there's one feeling in the soul that doesn't go away. And that is that the soul simply misses God. I once had an experience. It was very deep moment in my life. I was experiencing a lot a lot of pain. A lot of pain. Crazy pain. And I was attributing it to this and to that and to that which may be true or may not be true. And I was sitting with a person a mentor of mine and the person said to me maybe they called me by my name. Y why y stands for it's not because when I was born they said why why just for the record. The person said to me, "Maybe your pain is simply that you miss God. Maybe you just miss God. Maybe that's what's happening. Your soul just misses Hashem." I paused. I felt and I knew that they were right. I couldn't deny it. I knew they were right. That was the pain. And I never admitted it till that day because to admit that in my own perception would be stopping to defend the victims of the world because since God is responsible for everything. So to acknowledge how much I miss him would be in my own perception abandoning the injustice. It would be almost like stopping to fight and protest. It would be surrendering which I felt would be wrong. So I could never admit it. It was pain. It was simply pain. But deep down I knew that this person really was saying the truth because I felt it. And then I realized it's true. That's the pain. I simply miss God. All of us, our soul in its deepest place just misses Hashem. It's so simple and it almost sounds like oh really that's it. But between you and me that's everything. Like the moment I can I'm still struggling with it because the animal soul doesn't want to say it's that. It wants to say it's other things. But the nepheus knows the truth. Deep down all of us just miss Hashem. And really every mimer of the alterbra every teaching of the of the mag every mime of the reb everything every of is saying the same thing we all really miss god we don't know that so we believe we miss something else so now I miss money I miss power I need covered I need food I need women uh I need influence I need websites I need you whatever Whatever it is, everybody figures it out, right? This one is kauash cake and this one is huh? Yeah. Everybody figures out their nephah creates a substitute. What we miss but deep down what is it really? What is it really? It's that vulnerable raw very simple experience. The soul is a malish. It's a piece of and as long as it's not in, it's in pain. And in this world, it feels detached. We come from radical infinite love. We go back to radical infinite love. And for a few years, we're separated in our own perception so that we get to choose radical infinite love. And today here we get to choose it. So just like shamil the soul is craving that. The moment you know that every morning when you wake up the moment you know this your whole day is different because when you have a conversation with your wife or with your child or with your husband before you answer anything you ask yourself one question. Are you experiencing how much you miss God? Because if you're not, you could your wife, your child, your boss, your partner, your brother are going to become substitutes for God. And they can't. It's not fair. They can't. They're beautiful people, but they're not God. Can you experience that? Really, you miss Hashem? You just miss you really miss Hashem. You're like, "Me? I don't miss Hashem. I don't know what you're talking about. I just need pass the cheesecake. This cheesecake." Oh, he got it. That low life Ganavi, he's already on his third piece. You know that last piece of sushi when everybody's eyeing it? Who misses Hashem? They just miss sushi. But I'll prove it to you. It's not true because you ate that sushi. You got the last piece cuz you're a smart guy. And you're still not happy. You're still a miserable, anxious fellow. You know that. You went back to your phone a minute later, right? You're looking for the next piece. So, so it's not there's only one thing that's ever going to satisfy you and that's mulvad. nothing else ever. As I said the other day in Shia, I don't speak from theory. I speak from experience. I tried to satisfy myself with other things and some of them were nice things too. They weren't filthy and dirty and corrupt, but it wasn't anoid mulvada. It was other things. Ultimately, the soul knows the truth. And fortunate are those of you whose souls will not let you settle for anything but authentic truth. miserable. Unfortunate are those of us whose souls at some point just surrender to mediocrity and say, "Okay, you made a million dollars. You have a million. You have $3 million in the bank. You're a successful guy living in Pomona. Live it up. Finish your pool. Take your family on a beautiful vacation. Isn't life perfect?" Fortunate is the soul that acknowledges the fact that there are many things we like and there's nothing wrong with it. We like pools and we like money and we like food and we like beautiful homes and we like success. But who are we? There's like and there's love. There's like and there's love 1958 or 59 1948 or 49. It says in the rebay was sitting at his table the second floor of 770. It's the Reb's father-in-law. I'm named after mezkbay and somebody came out with the fish and he gave it to thebay was he looked at the fish you ever saw a picture of the a movie a video was his eyes it's unescribable indescribable my mother was on by him she told me about the moment so he he gave a stare at the piece of fish so the poor waiter was an innocent bak so he saw is he thought he's not happy with it. So he said tell her maybe you want like a second plate like you know it should be more comfortable you know a bowl in a bowl. So the Reb looked at him. He said maybe the Reb wants maybe the Reb desires a second plate. Said what's the word desire to something so external. The word desire is a sacred word desire. You desire first of all you're allowed to desire second of all you desire desire is sacred we where you directing it to say once came to a city before Shabas and he asked there if he could stay by him for Shabas so he said yeah but one condition no stick it's knowing the bad in the middle of the meal would dance and jump and scream no this is not this is a normal Shabas table Okay, you could say a normal that's it. We don't tolerate uh uh infinite ecstasy that you could do inv. So said yeah, no problem. Fine. It came Friday night and they wash and they serve the fish. So the person serving comes to the and he says fish. You want a piece of fish? The looks, jumps off his chair, says fish I want. I want and he jumps on the table and he goes into an ecstatic dance after Shabas Sunday morning he was leaving before he left he went into the and he said I have to apologize. Said what are you apologizing for? He said I breached the contract. I told you I'm gonna I'm not going to do this and I did it. He says, "No, it was perfect." He says, "What do you mean it was perfect? You made a condition with me." My condition was you shouldn't prepare for it. Didn't want you to prepare for it. That's what I didn't want. It happened spontaneously. It was galdic. It was exactly the way it was supposed to be. Yeah. It was the most amazing chabas in our lives. I just Right. You know, spontaneous dancing. Huh? >> Very good. When we start know when we when you start knowing that part of yourself, not knowing when you start experiencing that part of yourself, everything is different. All let me tell you something, okay? All the that exists in the Jewish world, all the fights in communities, between rebis, between institutions, between families, it's all it's all trauma- based. I have not seen one makus at least in my lifetime in the last 30 years. I don't know that's not trauma based. It's all huh this is true. This is what I see. I'm not I don't have I'm not everything is trump basically brokenness and basically I'm fighting simply for oxygen for somebody to tell me that I exist. I may call it rebs. I may call it God. I may call it religion. I may call it is whatever it is. I have name beautiful names for it. I'm not going to tell you that I'm insecure broken person. But deep down there's a terrible brokenness. Terrible. When people will start listening to the feminine side of them talking to the husband and they'll go there, they'll see that every fight that exists, it's it's it's the greatest joke in the world. It's push you have to have ramanas. You have to have ramanas on unevolved. We're all we all we're so the trauma of 2,000 years of gullus. Nobody knows that there's trust anymore. Nobody knows that God loves them. We forgot the story. We forgot the story. The BMP tried to come and start regulating the world and healing the Jewish world and the world from trauma. But even the BMP's teachings themselves became part of the trauma. And what I'm trying to share with you is not words. Nothing of this is words. This is an internal experience. The moment I can go back and say, "What do I really need? What does my soul really need?" need. It's back to the story of Shamil. More than any pain in the world, the deepest pain in the world is that the soul misses Hashem. You know why that's the deepest pain in the world? Because that pain is rooted in in real truth. But that pain we can address. And the whole Yiddish came to address this pain. And the whole came to address this pain to surrender back into oneness. Unbelievable. What's all this? My soul is pure. You created it. You formed it. You blew it into me. You preserve it into me. By the way, you're going to take it away from me. Like was this like a Jewish pessimism? We're all dying today. You know, it's like classic Jew, you know, call the okay, thank you. And by the way, as long as it's in me, I want to thank you. Says, no, this is life. Your soul is pure infinity. That's what it is. It's pure an egoomaniac. I'm a sociopath. I'm an addict. I'm an anxious, depressed, wretched fellow. I'm a miserable husband. I'm a miserable father. Everybody hates me. Got it? Okay, let's listen to that. But be be under all of that. You're pure. You're as delicious, as perfect, as sacred, as holy, as beautiful, as harmonious, as glorious as the divine himself. That's who you are. You may not know it yet, but that's the truth. Somebody sees you. Somebody sees you. You may not see dude, but there's somebody who sees you. That's what a real sadic is. He sees you. He sees it. He sees you. One day you'll be able to see yourself. To be able to see yourself, you have to do a lot of work, right? It doesn't work just somebody sees you. You have to be able to see yourself. And we're going back. Everybody's going back to which is the most beautiful thing in the world because everything is infinite love. Everything says if this is the case so what's the conclusion? The conclusion is as long as it's inside of me where it's perceived as separate, I'm not going to fall prey to that. I'm going to surrender the separateness back into oneness. I come from oneness. I go back to oneness. Now I get to choose oneness. I don't think there's more you have to know about life. You wake up in the morning, you're anxious. You just had a horrible dream about the Holocaust. What do you dream about at night? I dream about the Holocaust. What do you dream about? Same. Okay. You had a horrible dream, right? It's you have to breathe. If you have to issue a paris by the whole space for all those things and then go into that place. You come from infinite trust. You're going to go back to infinite trust. And now we get to choose trust. Only here do we get to choose it cuz everything is concealed the so you say yeah but this person was molested and this person was abused and this person was beaten and this person has anxiety on it. I got it. We all, we're all in this together. There's no superiority anymore. No superiority. Everybody is in the same boat. And those who are not in the same boat are also in the same boat. They're just not ready to acknowledge it. And if you're really not in the same boat, okay, but I want to hear from your kids what's going on. Let's hear from your kids. I would love to hear from your kids. Rabbi Shiman Russell tells me he's a therapic therapist in this area. He says people attack me. You're destroying and giving in to this. You have to be tough and harsh and tell the kids and and they want like I should fight back and they're going to prove it from a gor, you know, and a and whatever. I just look at them and I say, "Now tell me how well is that working for you in your house?" you know, and if they're honest, it's like it's not it's it's there's a lot of pain. And we all have to go out from a place of judgmentalism into a place of inner inner trust, inner inner love. And that's what Alterba says. You come from there, you're going back from there. And now you get to choose it. To choose it is not easy because it's not based on survival. It's based on celebration. It's based on trust. The nephah says you're going to pay the price for doing this with death. The truth is you don't pay any price for this because you actually start living. Somebody once wrote something beautiful. Creativity is easedropping on God. The worst thing you can do is eavesdrop on my conversation. Plagiarize it. publish it as your own. Whenever you're easedropping on God and you attribute it to your own power, you're a thief. You're afra. So the moral says, who's the if you're easedropping on God, that's creativity. If you're listening to God all day, your creativity is endless. You become alive. You're creative. When we cut ourselves off, we're not creative anymore. Are we creating substitutes? So back to Shamil like Shamil misses. So it sings the nama know everybody knows who they are and that's why deep down there is so much anxiety today. People think the anxiety is because everybody is narcissistic. No because right before the gula people are feeling their nishas and the nama misses Hashem. So there's terrible pain. Now we don't have the language. We don't have the vocabulary yet. So we attribute the pain to a hundred different things. But the pain is one thing. The pain is you are anif. And we trained ourselves to think that we are egotistical, self-centered, narcissistic animals. We're not. We're infinite. So the nama is singing sham's niggan. It remembers where it was. It sees who it is now, what's it dealing with now. It holds space for it. And in the third stanza, it knows that this is all there's no real separation. Everybody is working through the process to bring redemption to the world and create the full the full unity, the full that's the story. So now let's see the niggan once more. And now you'll understand the niggan. Hopefully at least a little bit we'll understand the niggan. And this is why the Reb's mother went into shul to see how he's doing after this niggan. The whole crowd was just busy with understanding the sikh by the naked. But his mother wanted to know how my son is doing. >> Huh? >> My nish, right? She's she in its core. Everybody else want to understand the niggan. And she's like, how is he doing? I know my son. How is he doing? Right. That's You understand what I'm talking about? You feel what I'm talking about? And if Hashem gives us the gift of experiencing this even for five seconds a day, start dancing on your porch and say, Many Elena I offer you. If you can experience this 5 seconds a day, you will know that you don't need anything else. Never again will you need your ego to be assertive. Never again will you need to be right. Imagine the freedom of not being right. Imagine having the courage and the liberty to look into the w the eyes of your spouse, of your wife, or of your husband, and instead of being defensive or offensive, defensive or offensive, you could just see a soul that wants infinity because you see your soul that wants infinity and you could say, "Here I am to channel it together with you." Imagine you could look into the eyes of your children and never again be defensive. You don't have to justify yourself. You don't have to rationalize yourself. You don't even have to chastise them to be a good father, which is really a miserable father, an angry father. You can actually celebrate the gift of a soul and your entire nervous system can relax in the embrace of Hashem and everybody around you will just feel it and you won't have to say another word. Says, I could just be completely silent as my soul is like a suckling in the arms of its mother. David was a warrior. He was a powerful leader. He was the son and he was a gunamalik was no pushover as they say in English. But in his relationship with Hashem, he was alleoy. Guml is like a suckling in the arms of his mother with that full trust. And that's what we're all searching for to be able to give that to ourselves so we can give that to each other. So it's not a song only of Shamil, it's a song of every soul. Every soul is singing the song. And the had that sense to pick it up from it from Shamil. You'll hear your own story. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You are free. Oh, I did the Yeah. I am I am Yeah. They are Hallelujah. Yeah. Khan taught the niggan when he came to the last piece. He said that the last noteman zing. Anybody knows what ktima is? They call it in Italian falsetto. Falsetto the real kazanim. It's called your your head becomes a dome and the voice comes through the dome. It's very very subtle and it's like of so the last tua is the soul coming back to atmos. So it can't be a continuum of before. It's complete oneness. And he actually did it. I'll I'll tell you. I heard from Ban. Oh, you know. Mhm. >> No. Abyssal shove. Abyssal shish. Huh? The person who told it to me. Huh. They know that too. Yeah. Oh my yellow nano machine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Yeah. Heat. Heat. Heat. Yeah. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Hallelujah. the water. return. All right. also a special man. The hands of Isaac We're going to do the Heat. Heat. Hallelujah. Alle. I love eventually sh Heat. We miss you. Yeah. Heat. Heat. Heat. I shall see. Heat. Heat. Heat. I shall see. I love see I love Heat. Heat. see I shall See I see everybody. Hey la. Yeah. Sh. Hey there. Shiva. Oh sh I la no la no la no la no la no la no la no la no la no la no la Hashem Sh.im. I want to thank our dear friend Angel for all for a good easy smooth everybody who's here. 1940 theat the previous was in Lakewood there was a Jew there who had a Lakewood then was not Lakewood today it's a beautiful it's still beautiful but it was beautiful resort was suburbia and somebody who had a big estate there wanted the to move to Lakewood So he came Pes Pes he was saved from the Nazis. He came in March Tess Sheni and he stayed in the Grayston hotel and then Pes he went to Lakewood. At the end decided he wanted to live in New York in Brooklyn which was like the epicenter of Jewish life. But for Pes he was in Lakewood said at the as follows. He said of the previous very rich extremely rich his expressions once made and by the he said these words and he quoted the literally it's translated Remember the days of the world. Remember history. Remember the past. Understand what has passed through every generation. But the said it was he said the literally means remember the days of the world. Remember the days of eternity. Remember the eternal days. Remember those days that have impacted you eternally. Remember the eternity of your days. In each of our lives, there are days that have left an imprint. There are days, we all know there are days you're like, I wish he wouldn't have come. There are days, you know, you you don't mind if they would have passed fast or they would have been. You want to press control altdelete on them. It's a mistake because they're part of your life. We just learned in that pesh is the same letters like she means that you have to take the pesha and turn it into shea. Every sin, every mistake is a flow. It's a source of flow. It's a source of awareness. But still, till we get to that point, it's like, you know, these days we would like to forget. Let me just go to bed. And then there are days, you know, they're days of eternity. They're days that you experience something and you never want to forget them. So those are reference points that even in other days, you can go back to that day. You can go back to that day when you experience that frequency of eternity and that's why he said it was it was it was a cohort as they say it was a it was a gathering of souls says understand of understand the changes of every generation understand the changes one generation is not like the other generation. We live in a paradox because on one hand, you know, said anything new is forbidden. We like the old. We're conservative. We like to conserve. The moment people start coming up with new stuff, it's like who knows where it's going to end up. So, some of us just stick to the old and it's important. It's very beautiful. It's powerful, you know. But there's something else. remember that which is eternal but also don't fail to neglect to appreciate the changes of generations. I found in my own life that one of the greatest gifts is to learn the changes of a generation to learn that you could trust that there's a new era there's a new energy writes in Tanya that every used to quote this constantly was one of the pieces of Tanya that he constantly quoted especially before the every single by sunset The light of the Hashem's energy in the world goes up. It goes back to its source. And every the night of a new light comes down that never existed before and you need to be able to tap into the new light. There's a new light that comes down. Every D has its shiny, it changes. And it's a beautiful thing because on one hand nothing changed. On the other hand if then you don't have to be afraid of every change. You don't have to be afraid of any change because it's all part of God is so unchangeable that he's not afraid of changes either. The real is not stoic. He's not like, "Oh, don't mess like I'm frozen." That's not lei. That's called paralysis. It's not lei means even with all the changes. It's all part of oneness. I'm not afraid of sha is so deep that I'm not afraid of changes and therefore even the world didn't change didn't change the oneness. So that's the of every single you know the ability to be able to to trust to trust yourself to know that there's serious changes and the changes are not bad. The changes are invitations of Hashem to a new energy. We're in the process of cracking open. And for that you have to trust as much as you trust the old you also have to trust the new. When you're lucky enough to be anchored in then you're not afraid of because you have you have you have you have you have so you don't have to be afraid of anything and deep down in your soul you know what's true and what's not true. We learned, at least some of us learned not to trust ourselves. We learned not to trust ourselves, right? Some of you relate to this, right? part of the way and and and I don't want to I don't want to uh I don't want to romanticize this but there's something beautiful in that because by not trusting yourself you maintain the old and you don't reinvent God and life. So there's something very powerful about that but there's also something very abusive about that. >> Huh? A and more important than innovation is if God is alive, he's living through you. He's living through me. What does that look like? And that's when I realized we have to trust ourselves. We have to know how to trust ourselves. We have to trust the said one day in a we have to trust our divinity, not our anxiety. The issue, the problem that we have today is that too many people are trusting their anxiety. That you don't have to trust. You have to hold space, not trust it. Don't trust your anxiety because your anxiety is not rooted in eternal infinity. Your anxiety is rooted in fear. Hold space for it. Trust your divinity, not your anxiety. But your divinity, you have to trust. It's all you have. Trust it. Feel it, experience it, and then radiate it to others. architect. A few days ago, somebody reached out to me. He's the kabach of Oslo. Everybody knows about Oslo. Oslo. Oslo. Oslo. Oslo. Oslo Accords. But believe it or not, Oslo also has a kabad flourishing community besides Oslo. Poor Oslo. But yeah. And thelo is a man named Shaw Wilhelm and he reached out to me a few days ago and he said I don't understand why people don't talk more about what the Reb spoke the last talk that he ever gave in terms of the relationship between parents and children and maybe you can repair that. So he uh you know what is it called? The bucket list challenge. He lit a fire under my belly. And I remember that talk. I wrote I wrote down that talk. I had this to write it down. So I went back to it to review what I wrote, what others wrote, right? Remember the days of eternity. And I looked at it and I saw that actually was I wrote it and but I was a yeshiva baka at the time. So I didn't have children. I was much more I'm still innocent but then I was more innocent. Still innocent but I was more innocent than I certainly knew less about some things that I know about today. And uh I didn't realize the full impact. You know the Gmorra says in it takes sometimes 40 years to really internalize what your teacher was saying. So the Reb's last was Shabas. The last few years I had the to be one of the one of the oral scribes of the labba because as you know theben were very long and on shabas and yam obviously there were no recording devices there was no AI in the world but there was not even a simple a simple tape recorder that to press record you couldn't do it >> huh okay thank you And uh so everything had to be memorized and transcribed after Shabas and Yam. It was not easy because the Reb's and my were not very entertaining in the regular term in the regular expression. You know rabbi gets up it's a joke for half an hour and then a for a few minutes and then a story and then another joke another story. were long, intense, very intricate and sometimes extremely long also in time time wise and everything had to be memorized. There was there was sometimes four for example if was was Thursday was Friday shabas was shabased at night the night of before as I mentioned earlier. So that was one fabangan and then by day he would fabbran. So that's a second fabangan and then shabas he would fabbrang in the afternoon and late afternoon. So there were four fabangans and after mats shabas you had to memorize and transcribe between 10 and 20 hours of talks and the rebb's talks were very very deep and intense pill it was very very intense the last of the rebba was shabon bay march 1992 2 that was the last because Sunday he gave dollars Monday he would always go to the of his father-in-law and at the which was the had a stroke right there while he was diving at the he had a stroke and after that he didn't speak that was tough bay gimmon was two years later so this was we didn't know it was the last of course nobody knew but it was at You know afterwards we realize it was the last fabang. It's interesting Khan there was always a few bakim would come to his house after the fablang for khazar to review before he would give mitar shabas but before that in his house so somebody said that he asked the bakim if they saw if they saw anything different today and they said no when said you didn't see and he said that when the reb came in there was a glow on his face in the beginning and then before the first he said it went away but he saw something different. This was he said before I told somebody m Shabas I told one of my friends that it was a different faban today spoke loud and very clear and explained everything in the last years the spoke much shorter and much lower but that last faban he spoke loud and very elaborate he was mik very structured like in the in the earlier years and that faban the first was a very long it was like I think an hour or more than an hour very very explanatory it Shabasim Shabas on base but there was one one one one line that I want to share with you. I heard it then I wrote it down at the time and this week I I reviewed it again and the Reb said as follows. Usually in the par is they come together. They're usually together. But that year Vayak and were separate and he said that's also a lesson. Sometimes have to be together. Sometimes they have to be separate and this year they have to be separate. And the Reb explained means gathering. He gather means counting. This is the counting that Mosha made of the Mishk and he counted every coin that came in every coin of silver of gold of copper and what it was used for and that's the calculation he makes in Par the Reb said they represent two paradoxical notions is collective it's individuals forfeitting their individual identity and becoming one is identifying ing the individual. You can't count a collective. Say how many people are in the room? A big crowd. That's not counting. Counting is one, two, three, four. Or like we do, not one, not two, not three. But counting is always one, another one, another one. It's a accentuating the individual. Usually they come together because in Yiddish there's both. There's the Vayak and there's this year we have a special lesson that we don't have to wait for. We can immediately achieve it through Vayak. And this went on to explain what that means in terms of a person's relationship with themselves, relationship with another Jew, and relationship with the world. And in all three, it's based on one notion, and that is that essentially we're all one. And therefore vayak is the most innate organic state of reality because everything is really one represents that you have to focus on your individuality. You have to find it inside of yourself. >> Huh? >> Yeah. Yeah. You could connect it to that. You start with vayak and then you have to go to he says usually the two are together but this year we have a special power to do vayak even before and the expanded on this very very deeply and intricately in terms of a person with themselves seeing the oneness in yourself before you get into the details seeing the oneness with the other before you get into the details seeing the oneness with the in parenthesis. I'm going to say this is just an epiphany I had a few months ago and I don't know if it's true. It's just my own little epiphany. It may be true, may not be true. The Reb was trying very hard to be able to complete history with Vayak but at that Shabas especially it seems like that the divine providence orchestrated that there's still a void needed in soak was the last faben and then is which is going back to the individual and uh reconnecting it with the source. And that's really what's happening. The struggle with coup since then the struggle with coup people are trying to figure themselves out. In many ways till then everybody was soaring on the wings of Ayak and uh the Reb was trying I think to finish the whole avoid with that and then there was seems like there was a divine calling that uh something has to happen in the world of puk where people really have to find the inner divine voice inside of their own core and bring that back to Vayakal and that's really what's been happening the last 32 years. If you look at the Jewish world or you look at the whole world and it's the way Hashem runs the world, that's just my own my own internal feeling. And it's not a depressing feel. It's very powerful because that means that that uh you really have to learn how to trust yourself. You have to learn how to realize that in your own individuation you're completely one with and that's what's happening. What's happening is as we spoke earlier what's happening is we're all learning that our deepest pain and our deepest anxiety is simply because we miss Hashem. Nothing else. It's not materialism. It's not ego. It's not honor. It's not addiction. It's uh those are all distractions and coverups. It's because we're divine. We're infinite. My brain is taking me to different places. Let me stay with what I'm talking about because I want to say something else. But we'll get there soon. Let's say you know what? I'm going to trust myself. Okay? I'm going to do the un unusual. I'm going to trust myself. Okay. There's a P in Par for years. Every year I read it, I pause. There's no other PK like this in you know which PK I'm talking about. Every year I take note and I pause. >> Huh? You know which PK stood between the living and the dead. There was a plague. A plague broke out in the Jewish community. And Mosha told Aaron, "Go fast. Take your shovel, fill it up with uh coal, fire from the misbay, from the Mishk, from the altar. Put incense. let the incense ignite and burn and bring it to the people in order to stop the plague. And Aaron rushed to the Mishkan. He took the shovel. He filled it up with coal. He put the he ran to the people. He stood between the living and the dead which means literally there were people dying and he stood between the living and the dead and he didn't let the death travel. Rashi gives a whole story. Yeah. That the Malikov is the angel of death came and said what are you doing? Why are you stopping me? And he said Mosha sent me. He said you're ah of Mosha. I'm a of Hashem, >> right? The way I was educated is Moshe works for God. God doesn't work for Moshe. God told me to kill. Moshe told you to do this. I I don't work. You work for Mosha. God is more powerful than Mosha. And Aaron said, "Nothing Mosha says is not from Hashem." Says, "What are you talking about?" He says, "Go to the Mishk and ask God. He's there. Ask him." It's a very interesting argument. The Malik is like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa moha works for God and he's like if it's a real moa it's not separate from he stands between the living and the dead that's what does it mean to stand between the living and the dead it means that you see both sides you see both sides we only see one side once we come down into this world we only see the side of yeses everything is yes ego ego ego ego. The moment the doors of perception are cleansed everything appears as is which is infinity. There are a few people in the world that see the dead. They see the other side. They don't know how to come back. The sign of a real is you know when the reb would speak you could sometimes feel that he sees the other side. You know a person who sees the other side but knows that his responsibility is to this side standing between the living and the dead. You know, once the living graduate the container, everything is ain't safe. But we don't know that. You know, we're busy in uh we're busy fighting with each other. We're busy being insecure. We're busy with our anxiety. You like me. You don't like me. You like me. You don't like me. You like me. You really like me. You think I'm good. You think I'm bad. You think I'm evil. It's not so funny. But you know what I'm talking about, right? We learned the other day and he says it also in we ask every day I shouldn't be embarrassed for eternity. Why would anybody be embarrassed for eternity? And says that the moment the soul departs suddenly it realizes that everything was a mech. It's like you told me you're selling me a house. You sold me you sold me a barn. everything that suddenly you realize the ego never existed. You get a complete ego death. I'm like it's breathtaking. Ego death. Ego death completely. You know the shame of that. My whole life I was building an ego that didn't exist. That's pretty that's pretty pretty painful. If anybody ever if you had this to experience it while you're alive it's a privilege. You invested in a Ponzi scheme. Imagine God gave you eight million bucks and you put your $8 million in a Ponzi scheme of something that never existed, but you think it existed and then one day it plots the egg cracks. When you see eternity, you shouldn't be embarrassed. Right? That's the some of us, many of us, and hopefully all of us will have to learn. When you learn, when you learn the what are you learning? He said the other day, you're learning the vocabulary of the other side. The vocabulary of the other side. Imagine you go to the most beautiful vacation with your wife. You see a landscape that you never saw in your life and you're like, "This is breathtaking." And you're in awe. You're ecstatic. And then you come home and you don't know what to do with it. You don't know how to integrate it because it was just insane. And then somebody gives you a map and names every street and that's that's the alterb. You come back and he says, "Oh yeah, of course you hit that street. You hit that corner. Of course." And this is how you integrate the vocabulary of the there's those individuals in every generation that stand between the living and the dead. They don't turn their face away from the living, but they don't also turn away their face from the dead. When we're born, our animal soul says, "Turn away your face from the dead because you won't survive otherwise." Just invest in survival. Be a good person. Make sure your parents like you, your rebby likes you, your principal likes you, your friends like you, and whatever you have to do, do it. Become a genius, become a bucky bash, make money, become an athlete, become a charmer, become a clown. Yeah, you said become a clown, right? What was your choice? Which one? Genius, clown, comedian, athletic. >> Huh? >> Okay, what was your choice? You plead the sixth or it was music? It was music or no? Music. Everybody. Everybody. We We figure it out. We're all brilliant. Our animal souls are brilliant. We figure it out. We figure out what's going to work. What's going to work? What did you do? He quit school. He was smart. He just quit school. going to say, >> let's say to our authentic children who are holding up the mirror to their parents' traumas. You could turn your face to the dead and say, "I'm done with you guys. I got to make a living." Literally I got to make a living. Somebody got to pay the bills. I once rabbi barrel wine All of a Shalom. He was a very funny guy. He said what did the med doesn't say? Aram broke all the Aram smashed all the idols of his father Terak. Right. Terak came home and he said what happened? Ara said they got into a fight, right? They got into a fight. So they killed each other. And like what did Tar answer? The message doesn't say ter must have answered him. You know, when you'll have to pay tuition and a mortgage, you'll also understand where I'm coming from. You know what I mean? You're this little three-year-old idealistic saint so you could be busy with truth. You know, somebody got to pay tuition and yeshiva. Somebody got to pay for the wedding idealist. You know what I mean? Somebody got to pay like a rum. You'll grow up. You'll have to pay bills. You'll understand me. It's very easy to turn your way that way, you know. And then there's the other side, you know, you go back to the not right. You always stand in the middle. You know what is you know what it means to live and struggle, but you also know the other side and you stand in between. You stand in between. That's what it's about. And I forgot why I said this, but I'm going to go back to ah yeah when I learn uh when I learn aimer that's what I always feel he could stand in infinity you know nothing exists that's after death he could also be imshed in my our insecurities and broken brokenness. It's like it's really the the the glory of integration of it's unbelievable. Huh. Right. So I don't think you can really anything that's worth listening to in life has to be in between the living and the dead because if it's only by the dead it's for ganed and if it's only for the living it's for gehenna. So in between that's where that's where is if you don't understand what I'm saying it's fine you'll learn a little more you'll understand but that's where is so right remember the eternal days there's the and there's the really wanted. He yearned so much. He He only heaven will ever know how much he tried. Nobody will even begin to understand. As much as people Nobody will ever understand what did ever try to do for the people. He cared so much. He wanted to heal the whole world. He was such a pure channel. He was so pure. Nobody will even understand how pure he was. Cuz if you're not pure yourself, how could you understand purity? He was so pure. I never met a person who was so pure. Nobody understands what does it mean to be a clear channel, not to have to say goodbye to your ego. I used to work on the sikas a whole night. I would come down. The rebu was 89 years old 3:00 in the morning and his light was on and then it would go off for a half an hour. He would go to sleep and a half an hour it was on again. Easton Parker was quiet 4:00 in the morning and the reb was up. what it means to be a pure channel. Just a pure channel. if we can all be a pure channel. He so wanted to heal the world and heal the Jewish people. He loved Hashem so much. He loved the people. He really believed that he saw nobody knows the pain that the Reb saw all the pain that everybody else saw. The trauma, the pain, the holocaust. He lost so much of his family. But all he spoke all he spoke about was the eighth scythe. There was not an ounce of cynicism and bitterness. You know people are cynical and bitter. You didn't see bitterness and people said such nasty things about him. You would think he would be bitter and hold his like and try to defend himself. He was so pure. He wanted to see everybody connected and united. People so misunderstood him. People thought he had an ego. The had an ego like I'm a frog. I'm more similar to a frog than he had an ego. The truth is that I listen to the Reba. I listen to his t to sikis a lot today. I listen to a mimer. This morning I listened to before I wanted to listen to a mimer. So I put on a tape. It's not a tape anymore. It's a an audio 1969. The Reb said I listen to a 40-minute m And the Reb quotes a med. The med says that it says in so the med says there's a metaphor. There were three people who went into a king. The first person went into the king and said to the king, I want you to give me liberation. King said why? And he said, I sinned before you. I transgressed. Please forgive me. And the king said, I forgive you. The second person came and said, yeah, I also sinned against you. Please forgive me. And the king said, I forgive you. And then came the third guy and he says, what do you want? What do you want? And he was expecting him to say, you know, I did something else that was wrong. And then he said this is and also and the third person said there is a country that's destroyed but it belongs to you. Give out a decree. let that country be rebuilt and that's they were all asking for their own deficiencies and then said it's your country please rebuild it the says that it says in that's called of a rich person of a rich person is not because he's missing something he's not missing anything. He's one with God, but he cares about the Medina. There's a destroyed country and it's really yours. That's it. But the truth is that that purity is really every person's purity. Well, it's really every person's purity. That's the truth of every person's soul. There's nothing besides authenticity. Everything else is just non-existent. Non-existent. But how grateful we are, how grateful we have to be to the pure channels that learned how to suspend their egos and just channel Hashem into the world. And can you and I be those pure channels? The bos was the bos was like there's no no words about the bash. We're eternally grateful the bos he will I said in one of the will be for remembered forever in history as the man who began to heal the trauma of the universe. That's the bos the alterb was the alterba. Nobody can even begin to understand who the alter is. We have to learn the of the of the alterba. But had people who understood him had very big and then came the reb after the holocaust. And really the deb was a panemian and an atm just wanted to learn and db was kus. I saw the I knew they knew who the was. I saw the despised when they took pictures of him. Theba hated when they looked at him. The loved being by himself. There's a letter from the Reb to Yankeo of Ben in Tshin test 1949. The Reb didn't probably didn't know what's coming and he writes to Yankando of Lando. He was a bigger of his son was Lando. He just passed away a few years ago. So the writ of Lando he says I'm not like you. I don't have a a a skill, what's the word? Uh a sense of public activism. It's not my kush, but you do have. So why don't you use it? The Reb wasn't exaggerating. If you knew the Reb, you saw the Reb, you knew he wasn't he was a very very internal person. He really was. It wasn't like it wasn't like a joke. The Reb if not for the circumstances that God made would have he wanted to be an engineer. It wasn't a joke. and he wanted to sit himself the imm likeu in the desert and connect to God one of the biggest geniuses of the of last generations and that was it and he was fine with that he didn't have to say a word to anybody and then Hashem took him and threw him out threw him in to a and every time he had to open his mouth it was a form of ms he was so shy to this. He was completely not shy to it. He was so not connected. He was so not It was so not need needed for him. He was so internal. He was so intimate. He didn't even have children. He had his wife, his rabbitson, and he had he had gamorra with kis with Rambam. He didn't people think that was into polit don't understand who he was. Even in labage, they don't know who he was. Those people could use the Reba as an excuse not to do their own work. Theba doesn't work that way. So, so that's why he's so tried. He really wanted to finish everything. Ellie Weisel was a smart Jew. You know who Elie Wiselle was? He was born in Sigot. He came from Vishnid. He was an Awitz and he lost, you know, he lost everything like so many other Jews. Very, very deep Jew. And he fought with God for his whole life. He would write articles. because he was busy fighting with God but he remained he would come to shan Shabas he was very close to my father we we knew him we so Ellie we he actually spoke at the my father and he said that my father is the one who told him to come meet the because he was filled with questions and he he lived through the war like so many other Jews and he lost his father and he lost his mother and he lost siblings he was in Awitz and in Bkenvalt And Eli once spoke and he said he he said that my father told him to come to Aaban. He said he came to abr looked at the Reb speaking. He said I looked at the Reb and I looked at his face and I saw on his face that he's carrying all the pain and all the joy of Jewish history. I saw on his face the pain and the joy of Jewish history. And you could see that on the Reb's face. He always stood between the living and the dead. Like when you looked at the Reb, you knew that for a moment he didn't forget the six million Jews. He didn't forget the pain of Jewish history. He wasn't just like, "Yeah, guys, you know, let's just put on fillin and build a kabad house and, you know, have a good time." And yet he stood between the dead and the living. But he stood between the dead and the living. He understood that the Judaism is about life and love and connection and rebuilding. It was a Pella. All the people of that generation naturally didn't stop speaking about the Holocaust for good reason. And the Reb barely spoke about the Holocaust and not because he didn't think about it. I mean he lost so many family members and never mind others Jews but he understood that the main focus of the generation must be not what we lost even though we have to hold space for that but the main focus of the generation has to be the ability to know that God loves you and trusts you and that you can go into your nervous system and relax and build real deep trust and go into the frequency of mulad and that from all the mysteries of the pain were going to pave a path to redemption and rebuild the Jewish world and rebuild the whole world and the ability to be able to really experience that. The hashgaka wanted that over the last 32 years we should go not only to Vayaka but also to not easy to go to because you have to go into yourself. People don't like that you have to go into yourself. And it's the it's the courage the real the real the real message of the greatest leaders is that they say trust yourself like take it to the next level. Take it to the next level. The Reb was a channel as far as Hashem allowed him to be a channel. And today we have the gift of taking it even deeper, more authentic, making it visceral, experiential. So this is all a hakama to what I wanted to tell you. What the said in the last you remember what I was speaking about. >> Okay, I didn't forget. Huh? >> Very good. What parenting is So he spoke means that when you see somebody else the first thing you have to identify is the connection. You have to identify the connection the relationship your oneness. The first thing you have to identify is your oneness. And he said and you can do it because when you experience the fact that Mish and there are other Jews sitting near you. I remember he said you see another person he's also so if you experiencing the divine in you you'll experience the divine in them and right away you'll connect. And he said it's true with every person you meet. Learn how to connect with them by recognizing their divinity by recognizing their holiness. He spoke about half and half. I'm not going to say all the was a very long and it's very deep. It's not for now. But I'm focusing on one point the deep connection that we all have with each other when we recognize our own divinity and the others divinity. And he said and it means very practically that when you speak to people see the commonality you have with them. See the godliness in them. See the mamish inside of them. And right away realize if so we're one because God is one. So if you're a piece of God and I'm a piece of God, it means that we're in that you we're not divis we're not disconnected. And if we are disconnected, it's simply because of external layers. And he said, and even those who have the opinion that you need to be harsh with people, he used the word in spokes, you should be using harsh words. He said, "You see practically that it's not very productive. When you speak harshly to people, you usually alienate them. You don't achieve your goals. You'll achieve your goals much faster and deeper and more and more in a in a more powerful way when you can truly recognize their divinity, their godliness." And then he said, If you withhold the rod, you hate your child. A good father takes out the rod and whips. Means if you if you abstain, if you hold back it is a scepter, you hold back the whip means you hate your kid. If you loved your kid, you whip them. That's what he asked on himself to contradict himself. What happened with the whip? You need the whip. And the whip says whether it's a physical whip or an emotional whip or a verbal whip, but it's a whip. So the said if it's your child, meaning if you're feeling that this is your child and you're their father, there's a deep feeling of connection between a father and a child, then there could be discipline. That's what he said in parenthesis. The way I would explain it is if your scepter is being used and you're not experiencing the full love and connection of a father to a child, be very careful. In other words, if it's your anger, your impulse, your lack of impulse control, your aggression, your weaknesses, your issues, like don't blame it on Mish. You can't let out your anger on somebody else. So, you're letting it out on your child, right? If you'll do it to your mother-in-law, she'll throw you out of the house. So if you'll do it to somebody else, they'll call the police. Your kid Nebak is a victim. Is it something that's coming from the fact that it's buoy? It's your child, which means the most beloved person in the world. And because of the love and the connection, you feel that this is exactly what the person needs for their benefit. Okay? So he said there's one condition buoy. It's your child. You're feeling that he's your child. And if you're not in that space, if you're like you're my migraine headache, you're my disease, you're my infection, you made my life miserable. No problem. you're human. Okay, we can deal with it. But he's not Benoy now. Be careful with your scepter. But then the Reb added something and he said and that's in the moments when you could say you're the father and he's the child which is our unique moments because in most of the time what you really want to connect to is the fact that he's and you're mish and therefore you're not even a father and a child. You're all a piece of God. And that's what you want to connect to in most of the times. I heard it. I wrote it down, but this week I went back to it. I'm like, whoa. OMG. And I don't mean on my Google. It's like the man, forgive the man nailed it 34 years ago. He nailed it. When you're talking to your child, you're talking to Mamesh and he's talking to Malish. And in God, you're both one. Can you be there? Can you stay there? And what's the most powerful thing about this? This is the best way to have a conversation with your children. Everybody knows that today. We call it oh narcissistic spoiled brats entitled the new generation. We used to have kibim and they like lost a plot and what the rebba like identified 1992 1992 before there were any journeys and groups and mices kasha's home sweet home he identified the key the key is can you see the divine in your child can you see the divine in yourself can you connect the Can you speak from that space like Okay, I got it. Why you so anxious about So are you having an is your soul are you having an ego death when you say when you say the words the first time you actually had an ego death? Are you having an ego death now when you say or are you actually an angry miserable anxious father. It's fine if you are welcome to the club but don't blame it on God cuz the first of asb was a complete ego death actually means respect the father inside of you respect the mother inside of you realize that you know how to be a father you're not just a loser you're not just a schmata and it means respect the divinity that god is channeling through your father and mother but If I'm not calm about it, if I'm anxious about it, it's a different issue. It's it's it's my insecurity which is normal. It's my brokenness. So he said in most times it's not even it's not even he said grandchild or grandson grandfather or grandchild. It's actually oneness of and this may be the hardest thing for parents to learn today. And it's not because we're obnoxious. It's because we don't know our power. We don't know our divinity. So, we think if I don't have if I don't get obnoxious and rude and I'm not anxious, oh my god, I'm going to lose all my kids. You don't know your power. You don't know who you are. And our children are actually helping us and showing a mirror to our authenticity. Now, anybody who's hearing in these words, "Oh, so Rabbi Wi said tonight all of Judaism is dead. Discipline is dead. Let everybody just follow their instincts and feelings and frivolousness. Let everybody violate Shabas. Let everybody eat on Yim Kipper." And that's the new beautiful liberal spineless left-wing authentic healing Judaism. Brilliant. And that's why we had Ma 4,000 years for left-wing, spineless, liberal, softball, weak, woke individuals to run the sham. Okay, if that's what's triggering you now, I understand. Sit with it. It's very very deep. It's very deep. But remember this, the litmus test if something is coming from the divine or from the ego is how much internal you have. When we're in the space of Hashem, there's confidence and there's joy. There's a deep deep and you know it and your nervous system knows it. And if you don't know about your nervous system, start talking to it. It's going to tell you a lot. That's how you're going to know. That's how you're going to know what you could trust, what you can't trust. If this resonates with a very deep space in you, you're listening to yourself. And if it's triggering and you're getting very angry because there's somebody listening to me who's getting very angry. You know how I know? Cuz he's inside of me. He's like hacking a chic. Like this is not what you what you just say normal things. Just say there's nothing all the sikas in my mom. There's nothing else to say. Like just just say huh. >> Huh? more than more important >> essence. Essence divine. There's nobody in history who ever felt their true self and violated. Do you know that? You heard what I said? >> I'll say it again. There's nobody in history and there will never be anybody in history who felt their true self and violated and that's the whole and that's what people don't get. We so don't believe that God is real. At least some of us. We so don't believe that everything is real. We're busy protecting God. We're busy protecting the Rabay. We're busy protecting everybody. We're in fear. We're in anxiety. We're in stress. We've given power to Hitler instead of the Alterba, instead of the BMP. It's nobody's fault. It's nobody's fault. Trust me, it's nobody's fault. Everybody, I have a four I have a 16-year-old boy. He's very cute and delicious. And whenever, you know, he sees me when he was home, he left home, but when he was home, he would see me stressed sometimes. Say, "Tat, you don't have to be stressed. You're doing the best you can with the tools you have." That was like his revenge. You know, you're doing the best you can with the tools you have. Like, just relax. But he's right. Everybody, everybody really, most at least 99% of doing the best they can with the tools. Very few people wake up in the morning and say, you know, I really would love to abuse my wife and children and destroy my family and destroy my school and destroy my community. Like people are really like deep down they're trying to do the best they can with the tools they have, but the tools that we have have to be examined because the tools that we have are often very very limited, very very uh mediocre and very very insecure. Huh? Before you get angry at somebody in the name of God, ask yourself, did you feel love to God today? Because if you didn't feel love to Hashem today, then that anger is coming from your skeletons. It's coming from your brokenness. The Reb says in it says into there are people that I truly hate. I really hate them. And then he adds one word, God, investigate my heart and see how much love there is in my heart. And you know where that hate comes from. You could see how much love there is in my heart. So you know that my hate is not coming from unresolved wounds. My hate is coming because I love so much and therefore I loathe those who want to destroy love. It's a different type of hate. So that's always the litmus test like go deep deep into yourself. If it's a relationship with real Hashem, it's there's there's there's real serenity. There's real joy. Your nervous system will say you're safe. What's the start learning to reading to him in English says in 139. If I go up to the heavens, you're there. If I go down to the abyss, here you are. This is you. Are you feeling that? Are you feeling cradled by the divine? Are you feeling cradled by the ins? If you are, I want to hear what you have to say. If you're not and you're using your anger as a substitute for your lack of stability, I understand it. But let's not confuse that with yiddish oridas. Let's just hold space for your brokenness. So, this is a journey I think we all have to go on. I had to go on it. I still go on it every day. And I think we all have to go on this journey. When you're talking to your children, proof is in the pudding. Those who have embraced this of the Reba and got it are having unbelievable with their children. Those who are not are constantly fighting and they're miserable and they're miserable. And it's really the Reb was identifying God's elevating our generation. It's not a insult. It's a compliment. It's a compliment. If you're and you could see that in your child, so your child is a piece of God. You know what the good news is? You don't have to be Mr. Superior. You're actually talking to a piece of God. Amazing. Wow. What a gift. You can be equals. Now that the Reb should say this that most of the times they're not father and child, they're equals because they're I don't know of any time the Reb said this before and this was his la literally his last talk ever. This was his last >> Yeah, it's a hu it's a huge >> It's a good question. What does it mean most of the time? And it means because >> it means because then when you have to be a father, you'll be a father. If you feel the there's a time that your son or your daughter needs you to look at them and say, "I'm your father. I love you and this is the right path for us and our family." Then you'll be able to do it. That's why he said most of the time. He didn't say all the time. What I'm I'm just say I'm your father cuz I'm an angry old man. And you're like I decide the trips. Okay. As I a father once told his son I'm not going to make up a mitzvah for you. I'm like wow this brilliant man. Like that's I'm not going to make a mitzvah for you. Wow. You're really going to convince him. He lost himself. And the kids know it right away and they're like Tati why you so angry? Right. Once a father, he asked his son to say Friday night at the table and his boy says, "I don't have anything to say." He's like, "It's fab." Like he was frustrated. I got nothing to say. He says, "What do you do in school the whole week?" He's like, "Nothing." You know what kids the favorite words for kids? What do you do in school? Nothing. Yeah. How'd you like it in school? Nothing. So the father really lost it. And he's like, this is a few years ago, so tuition was still relatively low. He's like, "So why am I paying $18,000 a year for your tuition if you don't have advantas, right? It's exactly what his son had to hear." And he's like, "It's a great question. In fact, I've been asking you this question for many years. I don't think you should pay $18,000 tuition for a year cuz that's a ridiculous place and I'm not doing anything." Now, you know how that chabas table ended, right? Now an analyze what happened here, right? Analyze what happened. This poor father was miserable. He was not happy with himself. His son saying would have liberated his shabas table. He could go to sleep and say, "You know what? I'm a good guy. I have nas." His last hope for nakas was shattered. Of course, he got triggered. It's like, "Now you're telling me that I'm Mr. a loser, right? I didn't I failed in life. I'm a loser. So now I need you to say it so that I shouldn't feel like a loser, which I understand people don't like to feel like losers. I also don't like to feel like a loser. Nobody does. I get it. And it's my kid's responsibility to make me feel like a winner. Now, my kid knows that unconsciously or consciously. He knows it. And he's like, "Tati, I actually like you more than you like yourself. I believe that you don't have to feel like a loser because I didn't say it because I actually like you. So, how does he But he doesn't know how to say it that way. Okay. He didn't yet do 20 years of therapy or whatever. So, he's like, "No, I'm not interested." What he's really saying is, "Tati, I love you. Could you find your own strength? Can you build your own relationship with God? Can you enjoy Shabas without me performing? Do you still have value even if your kids are not impeccable, flawless, perfect, and you didn't hatch them, match them, and dispatch them? Can you still feel good about yourself? Can you actually sing or piss? I don't want to discriminate against and enjoy God. That's really what your boy is saying or your girl is saying. That's what they're really saying cuz they love you. But all you hear is like today's generation. What kind? You know, you're a miserable guy. I remember you. We were miserable together. Let's face it. Right. But Shabas, you're on your phone the second after Shabas. Why? You're always looking for distractions and are your distractions. So relax. take a deep breath and build your own relationship with God. I sat in the shar I I I had uh I did an in conversation with Rabbi Shiman Russell. Uh some people watched it. So, uh, I reminded him of a story that I heard from him that it was Friday night and many of his children have left the fold as they say and nobody was at the table and he was miserable and he benched and he went up to his room miserable and one of his daughters who was left Yiddish saw him and you know a teenage girl usually knows exactly what to say to push every button. Somebody once sent me a line. They said, "Of course my mother knows how to push my buttons. She installed them. Of course, she knows how to push them, right?" So this daughter, I heard this from him. He said it publicly. The daughter tells him, looks at him and says, "Tati, this whole religion thing doesn't look like to be working out for you too well." And he told me, he said, "Rabbi Yw, at that moment, my daughter, who was not religious, made me a bulva. She made me a bulcha. She didn't know she was a kabatak running a kabat house. She didn't know that. She thought she was just a secular rebel. She made me a buba." I had to ask myself, what is Shabas nothing? I don't have a relationship with God because my kids are not performing. Now don't misconstrue my words. Of course we all work so hard and we want to in we want to inspire our children and give everything we could to our children and nas is a beautiful blessing. But when it becomes as a sub when it comes as a substitute for your own work when it comes as a substitute for your own relationship then your children are not going to buy it actually because they love you. They love you and that's what people don't understand. They're helping you. They're helping you grow up. Look into their eyes and you'll see it. If you don't believe, you don't have to believe anything I'm saying. I'm, by the way, nothing I'm saying is theory. I'm talking from pure experience. Nothing I'm saying is theory. Anybody who's doing this work knows how true this is. And if you don't agree with me, it's fine. It's still true. And if it's not true in your case, fine. in there. I'm not saying it's true in your case. At least it's true in some cases. If it's not true in your case, okay, but rethink that. When the BMPv sat in a room, he didn't have to say a word. He regulated the world with his presence. People felt safe. You know why they felt safe? Cuz he felt safe. You know why he felt safe? He lost his father and mother as a young child. His resume should have said abandoned, depressed, anxious. Yeah. Prone to addiction. I just realized the Bump went through everything. >> He grew up in the forest, you know. He didn't stay in the community. He was thrown out of every yeshiva. Of course, who would keep the Bump in yeshiva? Thank God he was thrown out of yeshiva. He went to the forest and in the forest you know what happened? He started to experience the voice of what Hashem actually told and he's like ah he he his nervous system experienced the safety and trust of what it means to live in the embrace of an infinite love and oneness. He came out of the forest and he knew he was a different person. He touched the the the pristine energy of Yiddishkite. If you don't know what in the world I'm talking about, it's perfectly fine because in my previous reincarnation, I also didn't know what in the world I'm talking about. And still part of me doesn't know what in the world I'm talking about. There's a voice inside of me that says, "Can you stop hacking a chinic and just start speaking normal normal things?" Somebody called me, somebody close to me, I don't know why I'm saying this, but sh I'll say it anyway, and said to me, said, "You know, I don't like your recent classes. I love your old classes." I said, why? And this person said, "You used to speak about ideas and now all you talk about is yourself." What happened? You used to be a big person. You spoke about ideas and now you talk about yourself. Okay, that's what you want to be. Fine. Talk about yourself. It was a very very I had to uh you know that triggered me quite deeply. I had to deal with that. Still dealing with it as you can see. just inviting you for my therapy session. But that's where it is the what what it is is the Msiah that lives inside every single one of us which is the insight and it's completely completely in trust. It's as calm and loving and blissful as can be. And we have other parts and that's all part of the and we can all let go and just really look into each other's eyes and love each other without any inhibitions. And our children are inviting us to do that. And I don't know how the Reb knew that but he literally said it. I looked back. I I remembered the words. I I I I'm the I wrote it down with Shambas. I wrote it and I trust myself. I wasn't making it up. But then I was how old was I? I was, you know, a young yeshiva bakr 20 years old or 19 years old. And it was the Reb talking in his words, you know, that most of the time a father and a son are really equal because they're just both. And now I realize, oh my god, this is exactly what's happening. Like fathers are saying, what happened? Where's my authority? I'm supposed to be the boss. You're supposed to tremble when I walk into the room. Why doesn't he tremble when I walk into the room? And the truth is the child is saying, "I want to see your mish. You're not a limited. You're not you're not you're not a limited dictator. You're not a small person. You're actually divine. You're actually a real father. You're you're the divine divine. And once you're divine, we could just connect. And it does not mean that children don't need fathers. They need fathers more than ever. But they need fathers who are fathers, not insecure, impotent babies who are looking to their sons to help them feel that they're powerful. Woe on to you if your 11year-old or your 18-year-old or your 22year-old is the one who's making you feel powerful. That's not a father. That's a spineless, traumatized, scared child. Okay, go do your work. I'm not blaming you. I understand you're a scared child. I get it. But don't expect your 18-year-old to heal that. Go heal and come back to the house when you grow up. Now I'm going to get an email. Because of your faban, children are getting the right to dismiss their parents and not invite them to theiras and estrange themselves. And it's all because of you. >> Who are these people send them to me? >> I'm not making anything up. Okay. These people exist. >> These people exist. Yeah. They may not be you. That's your next door neighbor maybe. I don't know. >> And the truth is I've learned not to judge. The voice I hear the BME everybody is a mirror. When I'm reading an email, it's inside of me. If not, God wouldn't send me that email. Remember, every conversation is a conversation with God. God sent me the email. They could have sent the email to somebody else. They could have got a wrong address. So, it's really a voice inside of me. You're sure? A lot of people get a wrong address. It goes to spam, whatever. It's really a voice inside of me because this is where children need to find their own. If you're busy your whole life believing that your parents are the most criminal, the greatest criminals in the world. Now, your parents, some parents are criminals. There's no question. Some parents are clueless. There's no question. Some parents have tried very very hard and have failed in many ways. But you know what? When you discover your mamish, you can actually look into your mother's eyes and into your father's eyes and say, "I love you, daddy. I love you, Tati. I love you, mommy." And you could see their own pain and suffering. And you could thank them for what they did and hold space for what they didn't do. You could do that, too. You don't have to become this righteous superior man who can't talk to his mother. I'm not talking about a case, an extreme case where your parents or one of your parents have done horrible, horrible things and they have not taken accountability. I'm not talking about those cuz I know those cases exist. I got an email from a woman. her father did horrible, horrible stuff to her and her siblings are demanding from her to go visit him every week and they say it's kibu aim and she tells me every time I go visit him I have a panic attack and I'm sick for two weeks and she asks me if it's a mitzvah of kibaim that I go visit him and I wrote back to her I said I'm not a po but from my uh understanding I think it's an a for you to go visit him it's actually a sin for you to go visit him because and he didn't even ap the guy didn't even apologize. He didn't even do chuva. So I I know that exists and I'm not talking about that. Sometimes you have to have very radical boundaries but in in in at least many many cases this is where children we all as children need to also understand you're also divine. Your parents are you're also divine. Like you have much more power than you think. And when you really go into a healing space and you find your infinity, you can also respect people where they are and and and respect it and love them for where they are and really honor what they did with the tools they had and truly cherish it, you know. And the more you live with Hashem, the more you can tolerate yourself and others who and we all have flaws. So that's what I wanted to share with you my dearest brothers and sisters. Huh? >> This is called a nikolai niggan. It's a beautiful niggan. You know Kayla Oh no, you know the Ken Nikolai. How does Kaden go? Amarus, huh? So let's sing maybe the nigashan of the alter. The whip you spoke of before is when show you how you show the child. >> Yeah. >> Is when you show the child that they're not Paradox are emerging. foreign. Y yeah. Love you. Oh yeah. Yay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I Hallelujah. Who are you? for you. I am Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. enough. Oh yeah. You know, you Yeah. You know Yeah. Now they Yeah. I want Yeah. The you hear the pure, you hear the purity of the niggan. This is a niggan of the kabat. Hundreds and hundreds of niguna. One of the biggest family of composers with the katanovs in Ukraine. Most beautiful nigun. The world sings a lot of their niga. This is one of their niguna. Such a such purity. If you learn this, you can understand it. In the early years by the rebels, they used to sing this Before my days, the Reb would sob uncontrollably. So they stopped. They would sing this and they they stopped. They would just sob and so they just stop singing it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know yeah hallelujah. I am I want you to learn the naked sing it tomorrow by Dominic. Oh sh Yeah. I may I am yeah yeah yeah you know Hallelujah. Today I'm glad to see that your animal soul is healthy. >> Tomorrow, huh? >> This I think. What's the name of the baby. There were two brothers in Nikolai was born in Nikolia, Ukraine. There were two brothers and their father was they composed amazing without zing without you know this real they live they they you see they viscerally experience you see they made you can't make this niggan if you don't experience I am I Ah yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. You know my Yeah. Yeah. He's smart. He came back. I may Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ah yeah. Oh yeah. Why did you Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maya My ny yeah yeah Yeah. Why you Hallel yeah. You know yeah I am above. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I am Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ah yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. I might I am I am I am Yeah. Oh yeah. High yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am I am ah Yeah. Ah yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You My am I am I Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I am above. This is the So we learned in a mime before you remember The fence around the mak that's higher than is silence. Right? Never think that what came into is the whole story. It's the silence that's always much more than whatever came into the mak the eagle the eagle. Right? Whenever you whenever you learn something if I'm not feeling that the person is stand the teacher is standing between the living and the dead I don't want to listen to it. You know what I mean? If he's only with the dead, he's a big guy, but he's not I don't relate to him. If he's only, he's probably already corrupt. I also don't want to listen to him. Diplomat, he became diplomatic. He's, you know, he's politically correct. PC is politically correct. Huh? The next words, that's how you stop the plague. All the plagues, plagues of stupidity, of insanity, of pettiness, of the whole plague, the whole mafa, everything. That's how you stop it. The Reb said it and he saidim is m is which means if I ask you if your wife is going to ask you where were you last night if you're going to lie you could say a thousand different stories you went to Australia you went to you you went to this you you could say a thou if it's going to be the truth it's always going to be one story. He said, "If you're lying, it's always a lot of alternatives. It's a lie. If it's truth, it's always going to be one." >> Yeah. Ready? >> What's the question? That's good. Thank God. >> Welcome to the club. >> Question that came up. So, what if it seemed like something at what point is that feeling? Whatever that feeling is understand something you can't understand. It's just a feeling or it's something. >> It's a good question. >> There's something you don't understand. How do you know it's just a frustrated animal or it's real? Right. It's a good question. It's a good question. You have to learn the language of your own and your own. Everybody has to learn the language. You have to start identifying. You know, animal experts, they hear, they know a rooster, a hen, a chick. They identify the music, right? You have to start identifying the sound of your animal consciousness and your divine consciousness. They're very they're very different sounds. The nephahamus. Here are some of the ways you identify it. Nephamus is always urgent. Right now, right now, there's a stress. There's an anxiety. >> Yeah. It's very, it's called impetuous, very impulsive. It's scared of something. The nepheus is very calm. It's very serene. There's a serenity. It may even be experiencing something painful. It may start crying. But there's a serenity even in the pain. There's a bliss even in the pain because it's connected to the source of everything which is blissful. So that's one of the ways you start identifying. There's a difference between confusion and silence. Silence is not confusion. It's authenticity. and the way you you start feeling in your nervous system a deeper connection. There is mystery that confuses you and the there's mystery that elevates you. It's the two types of ble there's ble where you're a schmata. Oh, I'm a nothing. I'm a nobody. It's like a guy who tells his wife, I'm always wrong. You're always right. You know when husbands tell that to their wives, you're always right. I'm always wrong. That's not bit. That's passive aggressive narcissism. Forgive me. >> He's waiting for his wife to say, "No, you're not always wrong. You're such a good husband. I'm always wrong. I'm always the You're always right. You always get it your way. Okay, you get it again your way." And really, he's saying, you know what I mean? Huh? She always gets it her way. It's not BL. Real BL is with there's a there's a Tuk there. That's the difference. There's a silence where there's a deep deep sense of connection of attachment of serenity. And always you could see your it's always right now. Right now, do it right now. And there's a sense of anxiety because it's not a real need. It's coming to cover up something. There's a void, there's a pain, and I need to numb it. So, I numb it either through food or through scrolling or through po, you'll forgive me, pornography or through Netflix or through my phone or through trying to get attention. I'm just numbing something. So, there's a superficiality there. When the divine soul speaks, there's a very deep Even though you don't understand the less you understand, the more the soul doesn't have to understand. Just wants attachment. It feels safe. It doesn't have to understand. A baby in the arms of its mother doesn't sit and think, "You think I can understand how the milk works? How does blood congeal into milk?" And by the way, why did she never have milk till I was born? It's crazy. You know what? I'm sure I could drink this milk. Let's figure out what nutrients are there in this milk. Yeah. Exactly. The mom is so maybe. Yeah. Thank God babies don't do that, right? Why? They're not looking for the They're looking for the milk. They're looking for mommy. The nish is not really looking to understand. Understanding is a beautiful thing when we have to understand you're learning a or you have to understand wants you you have to understand so now you bring in your when it comes to things that the soul doesn't have to understand it feels better not understanding it wants to trust not understand yeah that's what we spoke about in this year and what are actually saying right because of that. So the well the way the world learns is he did something nice so God gave him a reward. You were quiet so God said I'll talk to you privately. It's like you know you just ruined you just destroyed me. Brought him into a place of intimacy with Hashem. >> Consequential. >> The word is not consequential. The word is he allowed the pain and the tragedy to elevate him. to a place where there's an ego death and we can experience the frequency of the divine and to do that with tragedy is a very profound experience. In other words, instead of making the tragedy cause him to be cynical and angry and disassociated, which would be normal, instead he brought it to a place of silence. Silence is a place where you don't have to be cynical in order to deal with your emotions. You can embrace all of your emotions with presence and openheartedness. Cynicism is a way of escaping the depth of the pain. You understand? Oh, wait. We all do it. I did it. I did it for many years. Cynicism is a very brilliant way of avoiding the pain. and still thinking you're in control is what allows you to stay openhearted but not by cutting off yourself from your emotions by going into a place of silence. It's a very very liberating space because it feels right. The soul like says oh wow like that's it. It's letting go. It's like I told you before, the person told me that you really you you just miss God. You miss God. We miss God. We all miss Hashem. It's not easy for the Jewish people to hear that because Hashem became the enemy. And there's a good I'm not blaming anybody after the Holocaust. It makes sense. Hashem became the enemy. Who are you going to blame for the Holocaust? So, we could blame Hitler. We could blame Aikman. We could blame Himmler. And you should blame them, right? And who else are you going to blame? You could blame the Okay, fine. So, some of us do that, too. And then what comes after that? Deep, deep down, we all blame one. And it's true. We blame God. He could he could have made it differently, right? Hitler could have lost elections in 1933. People could have had some insight. They say that the, you know, for me it's a very special story because it shows you the truth. the previous laby the war broke out September 1st 1939 he was in Poland he was he lived in it's a suburb of vara and uh there were a few American boys who were learning who were learning in Warsaw who were learning invit the war broke out and other other bakim from America. And they say that one of them went into the Rebayats after the war broke out and his chair was facing the wall and he turned around and he said three words from Tanak. He said three words. Vashem many. Hashem concealed the the information from me. Vashemi. He said, "Hashem concealed it." You know, >> I didn't know what's happen. I didn't know what's coming. >> I didn't know. He concealed it. Three words. We spoke about being a pure channel, right? He said I I I was this was something it's beyond you know >> in other words he had some sort of expectation that would reveal >> in other words that even the biggest sadic hashem will only reveal through him what he will reveal through him he will not reveal what he won't reveal through him you know we sometimes put all our blame on the saddic like it's his fault and we don't realize he's just trying to be a channel and he's going to channel so ultimately we go back to Hashem So who else is there to blame? And really there's nobody else to blame. So you have your two choices. One choice is you continue to blame. That's what I did. And this per this God is a perpetrator. And a perpetrator you're not supposed to trust. So you don't trust him. And we need him, but we don't trust him. So what type of relationship do you develop with somebody you need and you don't trust? It's the worst. That's the ultimate abuse, right? If I need you and I trust you, beautiful. If I don't need you and I don't trust you, fine. But if I need you and I don't trust you, oh my god. This is what happens between children and parents, right? You need your father, you need your mother, but you don't trust them. It's horrible. And with Hashem, it's even worse. And and in our generation, in our times, this is what we're asked to let go of in order to liberate ourselves. And it comes with tremendous surrender. Tremendous surrender. And realize that all we all miss God. We we miss God. We all miss God because that's anoid mulvada. And say, "But one second, this God like look at last 2,000 years." Like this is the God I miss. No, sorry. I don't miss him. That's why the nephew says, "You don't miss God. Like, look at this God. Like, look what he did. 2,000 years of insanity." You know about Jewish history. If anybody here knows about Jewish history, you know what? It's insanity. Every generation, insanity. Pure insanity, right? It's it's crazy what Jews went through. Like, what do you do with this? And this is all God. So, what do you tak? I don't know. You want to answer this question? Okay. Smart guy. >> Let Rabbi Wi speak. Right. I said in the Shia that somebody asked Ellie Weisel, does Judaism have a tradition of silence? Because wherever he goes among Jews, they all don't stop yapping. Do Jud Jews have a tradition of you know he was from the he liked the far east stuff. So Aliel said yes, but we don't talk about it. So for 2,000 years, we didn't talk about we didn't talk about Hashem. We spoke about Yiddish, not about Hashem. So the Alterb says we have to start talking about Hashem. We have to heal this like you have to this is it. If you're not talking about this, you're not talking about anything that you want to talk about cantaloupe. Even cantaloupe is Hashem. Malikam, what do you think this is? Who made this? Who made this work for my cells? I have 70 trillion cells. Who decided that this cantaloupe works for I was drinking a coffee this morning and I stopped. I'm like, who which random force knew to create coffee beans that millions of people would enjoy every morning to help them wake up? Fascinating. This random force who really figured out these coffee beans, you know, and there's like another billion things like that. So if we don't make peace with that, we're we're depriving ourselves from ourselves. Now the truth is what did reveal said? Got iss and is got. Hashem is everything and everything is Hashem. Meaning you are Hashem. Hashem is you. I am Hashem. Hashem is me. And there's a tremendous deep surrender to the fact that the truth of Hashem nobody understands, nobody comprehends. And yet all the love in the world that we have is divine. Where did love come from? Where did consciousness come from? I think I have love. I feel bad about the Holocaust. I feel horrible about tragedy. Where did I get those feelings? Random cells after 25 billion years suddenly developed this deep love that Rabbi Wi has for humanity. really this mindless random cell exploded in this consciousness of infinite love. Whatever I have is just a little fraction and glimmer of what Hashem's love gave me. We're all reflecting that. So all the love that we have, the very pain that we have towards Hashem is from Hashem. The pain that we have towards Hashem is from Hashem. Where did that come from? Where did our protest against injustice come from? Why do we hate Hitler? Why do we hate kamas suicide bombers? Why? Where did that come from? It's all from Hashem. The pain to Hashem is from Hashem. That's also Hashem. So as we surrender, we surrender our minds, we realize it's all Hashem is beyond our logic. That Hashem is everything that we have. Anid moada. And I know none of this makes sense logically. I know it doesn't. >> It's not that he it's it's that it's that's who we are. That is our love. Like all of our love, all of our purity is Hashem. That is what it is. And there's a journey and a mystery beyond what anybody could comprehend. I tried everything. I tried a lot of other things. Nothing didn't work. Everything else is >> of desara. What do you do when it >> very good? When disguise itself kiss, how do you know the difference? So there's four ways you know the difference. The first way is I said earlier that there's no person in history in the past, present or future who was ever in touch with their true self and violated. People don't believe this, but this is the truth. This is the truth. I've learned I've experienced this. I know this is a truth. They may delude themselves If their instinct is telling them to go away from it's not from the because the real is the blueprint of love. It's not a blueprint of misery. It's the blueprint. If you would write, if your soul would write what's the program for life, you would write a now sometimes says this is not for you. Sometimes has different exceptions. But the blueprint of is the blueprint of divine internal love. So when you start seeing a contradiction, you have to pause and say where is it coming from? Right? Some of you wake up in the morning and they come to their wife and they say last night I had this feeling I have to divorce you. Yeah. You're crazy. You're broken to pieces and you think by running away from your wife you'll be happy. Okay. You're going to marry again and you're going to get divorced again. and you'll marry a third time and you're going to get divorced again. You're you're you're you're broken and you need to deal with that. It's not your wife's fault. So is a very powerful litmus test. The blueprint of that's number one. Number two, if the people closest to you are miserable, it's probably something off. If your friends in Schul see you as a hero and your wife and your kids say you're a villain, pause. This is by the way a very good litmus test for a lot of people. They start their journeys. People in the community or in their circle say, "Wow, you're so honest." And their children call them narcissistic. So you have to pause and say one second. If you're such a hero, why do your children hate your guts? They should be the one who love you more than everybody else. The reason is because they actually know you. The people in Schul just watch you eat sponge cake and jalapenos herring. Jalapo herring. Your kids actually know your wife knows you. So like one second. Why are the closest people to you hating you? That's number two. We don't know. >> Huh? >> If you don't know yet, you have to speak to people that you trust about it or learn it. There's also a third element and that is real serenity. When you're following your divine soul, there's going to be serenity before, in middle, and after. before, in middle, and after. It may be hard because I have to discipline myself, but there's serenity before, there's serenity in middle, and the serenity after. And three days later, you're like, "Wow, that was such a good decision." >> Serenity is nervous system regulation. You go to sleep at night and you go into bed and you're you feel connected. You feel aligned. You feel alive. You feel honest. You know that you could you know what a serenity is? Oh, this is good. Look at the you could look God in the eyes. You could face God in the eyes and not blink. You're fine. That's serenity. That's the best definition. Alterba's definition. It's not mine. You could look God in the eyes and not flinch. That's serenity. >> Huh? >> But that's serenity. >> Of course, but that's it. That's serenity. That can only come with the divine soul is you could look God. You say, "God, you could look at me. Not anybody else. Other people you could, you know, sell the Brooklyn Bridge and, you know, it's fine. It works. YouTube, whatever. There's ways of doing it. Butim. So that's a very very powerful litmus test. >> The truth is overwhelming. >> Yeah. >> The truth is very >> easy. >> That's a great question. Would I define being Jewish complicated or easy? >> Yeah, complicated. Uh-huh. I I it's a good question and I think if we put it in those terms, it could become very painful. I I don't think you should put it in those terms. I would define being Jewish as having the courage and the purity to say that I want to be able to stare God in the face every moment of the day. That's what it is. Is that complicated or easy? It doesn't go into that category. It's not complicated. It's not easy. It's truth. I want to be able to live with truth every moment of the day. I wonder that if Hashem is staring right at me, I don't have to flinch. I'm here. Only then will anybody ever have serenity. There will be no other serenity any other way. I can have 7 billion people telling me that I'm the greatest guy who ever lived and I will be the most anxious individual on earth. That's why you see that celebrities commit suicide, become drug addicts, destroy their marriages, and their kids hate them, right? Why? Why? They have estates. They have estates that are $25 million, right? They have all the be beautiful gifts in the world. Like, why? just be it's great be a nice person and the answer is I said in a nashia the other day it just it just it flowed through me it was was it was a gift that came into me and that is because the more followers they have the more people they have telling them and reminding them that they hate themselves because if you have 10 million if you have one follower on Tik Tok right or at le or better no followers on Tik Tok, then the only one who tells you that you're miserable is you. But if you have 10 million followers on Tik Tok and you look at it every day and like, "Wow, 10 million followers, so I'm supposed to feel happy." And then you remember that 10 million people are really reminding you that you hate yourself. So you have 10 million people telling you you're a loser. Of course, you kill yourself. It's It's very hard to have 10 million people telling you every day you're the ultimate loser. They're all reminding you that you don't like yourself cuz you know how desperate you are for each of those followers. So that each of them is reminding you what a loser you are. That's horrible. How are you going to deal with that? There's only one way and that is Mitsus. Bul Mitsus means ego death. That's the hardest thing in the world for the Neva Bahamas. And it it won't go down easy. It will never go down easy. But there's nothing else. Everything else is just a joke. And the worst thing is when we use religion to cover up for our ego. We say, "No, it's it's a I'm fighting for for the community. I'm fighting for for for the truth for for for You're not fighting for anything. You're fighting for your misery. You're a miserable person. And everybody feels it. People around you feel it. This is what we all need to heal from. We've the gullus has duped us. It's it's it's sold us a boat in the name of God. It sold us a boat called trauma in the name of God. Every community in their own way, everybody has their holy cows, their rebas, their books, their their and it it's miserable for them. It's making them miserable. And it's all because we have substituted Hashem for all these realities. We never graduated from our egos. We used God to support our ego, our trauma, our brokenness. So I use my rebber or I use my shittita or I use my community or I use my this or my philosophy to support my brokenness and I'm miserable and my kids are miserable. Does anybody relate to what I'm talking about? This is this is this is what I discovered. I I'm not speak I'm I'm not speaking anybody else's truth. I'm speaking my own truth. Maybe if it doesn't apply to this >> and if you don't relate to this amazing and if you don't relate then you're really feeling this deep bliss and serenity and you don't relate to what I'm saying fine. I I take off my hat and I would like to learn from you. But I think so many of us have been duped. It's not anybody's fault. It's the fault of gullos. It's the fault of terrible terrible gullos. It's not anybody's fault. The Jewish people are an innocent people. Very innocent people. And you could see from those who hate us how innocent we are. We're still very innocent people. But our our our our inner pain has come out in self-hate and self-shame and self-contempt and self-abuse. And we don't even know how to distinguish. Somebody wrote to me an email. I read it in the shar a few days ago. The last mimer. Somebody wrote to me, I don't believe anything. I'm not saying it verbatim, but the con I don't believe anything you say in your classes because in my nervous system I have been taught that if it's real Judaism, it makes you miserable. And I so get it like and he meant it so so he was so authentic. He's like, if it's not making you miserable, it's not really Yiddish. Like something is off. Like you have to feel a little miserable. You have to feel like somebody is with a sledgehammer knocking you over your head. Shut down. It's almost like has to be associated with misery. >> Huh? Very good. I rest my case. >> Very good. You see? And here's a beautiful soul. Look how beautiful this soul is. Look at the light around his face. Look look at him. Look at the light around his face. And he's like, "Of course this this of course this is the basics. Read any safer. Supposed to make you a little miserable. If you're a holy soul, it won't make you completely miserable. Only 5% miserable. And if you're a regular guy, at least 90% miserable. And 10% okay. At least the kakush cake tastes good. But if you t if it tastes too good, you're going to lose haba. So, so it shouldn't taste too good. Exactly. Very good. >> Huh? The word means tradition. Tradition. Tradition. And tradition means I couldn't care less who you are and I couldn't care less what you feel. And then they tell you in my who go to Rabbi Ywise's classes and discover together with Columbus the United States of America 1492 yeah was a Jew who came to America in the middle of the war in 1942 but he was an altered so the guy asked him which year did you come he wanted to become a citizen so he made a mistake instead of 1942 he said 1492 the guy tells him it's a I'm sorry. He came 1941, but he said I came 1491. Said, "Ah, you should have waited a year. You could have come with Columbus." You know, you could have discovered America and gotten the credit. It's very true what you're saying. I I I I feel it. I I so feel it. It's like so deep inside our bones. It's almost like a God who's here to make us miserable somehow makes much more sense to us. Proof in the pudding. Look at Jewish history, right? And especially LOL. Oh my god. Elo Kipper. It's like if you're feeling miserable, right? It's really Bessa was interviewing me one day on his podcast. So he said, you know, it's like you're destroying Yiddish. Like his point is, he says, you know, a yeid comes to slick. We have our fab before. And you know, sometimes we try to be a little kind about God. And he's like a Jew comes to and he's feeling horrible and he opens up and he says and he feels horrible and he does and you want to destroy that like like this this is it like this is it. You love my question. That's damus. Exactly. That's damus. >> Huh? And how you going to get ganed without? And how