Farbrengen 22 Shevat , Rabbi Shmuel Lew - 5784

so we will hear about the on about the about the U the on the bill the example and the instructions of the rabbits and from two very special individuals one of them it's my great privilege pleasure and honor to call upon one of the great of Our Generation Well known and I also have the privilege of of calling him uncle and um therefore I've learned much from my uncle he's a in Great Britain London England leads the girls school there and many other through the years so without further Ado I would like to call upon Rabbi Zang to share with with us from his relationship with the rabbitson with stories lessons Etc RAB yeah you know right after 36 years ago I heard a vot from Rabbi y Weinberg with and he said that there's a medish that there was the the of and especially the ofam and missed it she didn't see it she wasn't there and she wasn't there so that Maru should be able to do whatever he had to do in the way that he wanted to do it and in order to lead to the G and the is that when Mia comes and they'll be and there'll be again that will be right in the front be the first one and that's a a a Perfect Analogy as we heard just before from mandella Mao by the way way an and um all the stories about the all night all day that there was a person there who wasn't present physically in order that the should be there for cl Isel and at the other hand she was always there when the re came in she said that lady she said that somebody asked why do you why do you always awake when the de comes home whatever if could be 2: in the morning it could be 5: in the morning and she said a person should not come home to an empty house that was the extent and uh told stories like this from Mrs Sternberg I heard a story about the relationship between the Reb and the retin that shortly before there was a an issue with her eyes and Zari took her that Eon to a very top specialist in Manhattan went with a taxi and he examined the the issue that was there and he said there are two possible courses of treatment either a which has this and this advantage and this is the pros and the cons and there's the other alternative of B which what to do think it over and come back to me in a couple of days and and uh we'll work along one of these lines so in the taxi on the way home zman asked the Eon and um M obviously you'll ask the re you'll ask the re what to do which of the two two to choose so the reiton said he figured the re here the re that people there's phone calls there's messages day and night coming to the re for for she she said I don't want the to have an you tell me you think them over and advis me which of the two to do so that the Reb should not have any upset and the next day I think was after whatever he went over to the and he told the re the whole story and asked you know which of these two Alternatives should we do the re said do a tell her to do a but don't tell her that you ask me cuz I don't want her to be upset this this two ways of this of this relationship of caring and of being and a story I'm going to tell you in a little while not not personal but I heard it personally many times from the balisa there were a problem when you speak about the re you speak about a great person and you want to pinpoint what's the greatness we are always speaking according to our own perspective at that moment there's something which you see as a difficult level to aspire to it's it's not easy to be a person who is selfless a person who is um in challenging times and under difficult circumstances how they respond and how they live their lives is something which is beautiful and it tells us something but at the same time the more you appreciate what there is in that person the greater the challenge to be able to apply it verse to me what can I do about this how does this affect me in a realistic way I'm not going to be like that it's not it's not human nature to be selfless so I want to just s a few stories conventional stories about that epon but then I want to say what I think is the nuda of all the nas the Reon was able in every story that you hear she was able to put herself into the other person's shoes to relate to that person and to turn the conversation away from herself that was not only different levels of occupation or intellect a b a great smart person a Big R uh a great or a simple worker which there were many stories showing how she did this but different age groups you take a 2-year-old child here's a person who had no biological children but they're at home at loone the whole night let's think of that and our daughter our youngest daughter went with my wife to to New York to the Reba for she's just under two years old and my wife said was I'm during kanak in the afternoon and the rabbitson was talking to that little two-year-old come to she was speaking to her and and bringing her over just like the took the kid she had a way just exactly how to relate to a 2-year-old and to draw her there with a little candy or whatever it was that she attracted her with there was a kid who was about five or six years old no Holzman hman they used to was was a there and he was there with his family with the kids and the Reit was like cutting cake for everybody but this 5-year-old kid said I want to cut my own piece he he give me the knife so the rebon had to tell him it's out of the question how do you do that how would you how do you do that how do you handle a 5-year-old kid and what rson said was if I give you the knife you're going to take a tiny piece I want to give you a big piece so I'm going to do it for you the way relating to that kid uh you could see a child who's a bit older one of our children our son uh Penny was with there and uh everyone would perform or would say something and he he a big balagan he sang the B and she listened and he said that he saw a tear in her ey that she and he said um this was the Fe get n and she said yes he was my father and um let's say a 13-year-old boy our oldest son Yosi he prepared a pill pool on something about a sure and um he said it at sud at we had a get together and B got and he said it two or three times different moments that he actually recited that he actually gave over this P but he told me just recently we were talking about it again a few weeks ago he said of all the people that heard it many many dozens of people maybe hundreds of people heard of different times there's only one person that ever asked him something about it and that was the rabit when the everyone was saying something she said what are you going to be saying mitv so he told her about this and she asked questions on it she had knew how to take an interest to that or you heard the stories from Mrs hoger Nami Hara who was there a 15year old and she was there with the mother and the Ritson was sensitive to the differences to the to the mother being nervous about what the daughter was eating this that and and and reassured her extremely extremely sensitive to the person that was there and how to handle that person I know somebody who went to the reiton and they were going on well they were they were married and they were in coo and Reon said what are you expecting to do for a living and the person said I hope to go she said do you realize that that is an extremely difficult thing to be able to do to go and relate to all different kinds of people and to handle them and everything else you know it's a very major job and he said I know and I'm you know she so she said because you're young and because you're determined you'll be okay was able to pinpoint the situation in every story but to me the biggest story of all is the fact of the Reit giving a very life the Rari on a different occasion years before told the Reit you alone at all night to ask the re to have a self imposed curfew like he should be home that would go home 11:00 12:00 at night that was a night with no if there was I personally was in more than once after 3:00 I was at least once 4:00 what about 6:30 in the morning this is three times a week through with twice a week just think of the phys IAL energy that was necessary but the was alone there so he told he said to the asked the re he should be home not talking about coming home 5:00 in the evening talking about come home by midnight by 11:00 and the said people need him should I be the one that keeps him back from it in other words this is a a a manifestation of the ritson's love for cl it's this is Reon saying I'm doing this not because I'm Aid which she was she's saying I'm going to do this because you need it because everybody needs the Reb the people need the Reb she was there this was a partnership in it now the story which which to me is most significant and I'll tell you why after I tell the stories are well known by now uh not least I I've told it many places and I spoke with Rabbi clapman just last night he told me about something Rabbi clapman is AER he's a Williamsburg Boy by the way from raw Street you know that and uh he made he also make he makes candles so he's in two major cage Industries what they call he's a CER and a Candle Maker and in the story figures that Ebert talking about she as a girl seeing those two um those two crafts being done in the laage anyway so one he makes his own candles for the sh one year came before kanah he brought the candles to the reit's house and the rebbit was there and he gave her go up and he gave her the can hand and um she thanked him etc etc and this became an annual thing he also offered to make by the way one of the big uh y side candles that the S laich big ones and but she told him he doesn't have he shouldn't bother with it laich we did that what over here they don't do it anyway um every year he gave the candles to one of the mes he knocked on the door somebody answered the door he said these are the candles give them to the reiton but one year the reiton called up to say thank you she said next year when you come let's plant it in advance and I'll be there and come with your family and we'll have a little get together so they came the next year and they coordinate when he's going to come with his wife and his children and that day when they were coming let's say I don't know the exact time let's say the appointment was for 3:00 and the a phone call came from the mosquitas and the re Secretariat in that morning saying that the Reb is coming home earlier than previously indicated he was going to come home at 5:00 let's say and now he's going to come home at 4:00 and the rabbits in in order for the rebit to come home on any day you just heard these stories from Rabbi Mendel about how she was careful about what he's going to see when he walks into the street that sounds perfectly typical and she went and uh uh she was told and she said she needs to prepare for the de so she got Rabbi gunsburg to phone them up and he said that the reiton apologizes she will not be able to be there come with the children and everything will be prepared for you but the rabbitson will not be present and they came and it was set the table anytime I was there there was different types of cake according to the person that was there with the age and there were if there children there'd be candies there' be bons chocolates there would be uh and so he said he came there and there was also Little Dre and little chocolate kind whatever things for the children to enjoy and Rabbi gbur sat with them for the half hour whatever it was that they're supposed to be there then they left and on the way home the mother asked the children on the way home were you disappointed that you didn't see the reiton and the oldest daughter answered it's more important that the reiton should spend an extra minute with the re then that we should sit there with the reiton that's what she said the next day the reiton phoned to apologize personally to RAB lman and uh she said I'm very sorry I wasn't their person she said were the children disappointed he said I'll tell you something my wife asked the children if they were disappointed and the oldest girl said it's more important for the reiton to spend another an extra minute with the re then for us to sit here the whole time the reiton said three words she's my friend that's what she said said she's my friend and then she said what's her name how old is he how old is she what school did she go to what grade is she in I want to meet her and they began a relationship and this girl would go sometimes to deliver candles or something for this for that to the extent that it came before she was 11 years is old when it came um the day of want to come and get a from the so the said she should come it was in just a few weeks before the rebon said come uh at such and such a time and so that she'll become mitz and she said she she said to the father make sure since she's going to be coming when it's light and she's going to be leaving when it's dark make sure that there's someone there to accompany her when she goes home because a a young girl shouldn't be walking in the streets alone at night so from that they understood this again is another typical I know from certain personal things a but with the re would make a comment which made you understand what she wanted even if she didn't want to say it explicitly by saying that the reiton was telling them I want to meet her alone no it was the only this the first time that she ever went any time she went she was with one of her parents a young child and by saying she shouldn't have to walk home alone they understood they can extrapolate that means that she's going to be alone until she leaves the house and she was there alone and the father waited outside and took her home and they spoke and at some stage the reiton said it's after you now I want to give you a and the girl stood up and everything gave her a and gave her a hug and a kiss and uh like a whole big thing this she also spoke with this girl during the talks in between about your father makes candles she said that there was a Candle Maker in laich and she as a little girl of 11 years old also used to like to go and watch how they how they make the candles it also was a saer about saer about about sufferers about scribal art and if someone in Israel made such a saer a book in English and Rabbi clapman was the saer that they photographed many pictures of him and he had a copy of the book so the girl took the book and sent it to the Ritson as a present and the Ebon phoned up the girl and said you know when I was a little girl one of my best friends was the daughter of the was in laab and I used to go there and watch how you know how how you made the she spoke with the girl related to her now to me I I know we all heard hundreds of stories this is the only one that I know where that eberton said she's my friend those those three words to me why did she say I don't know of any many other people that were there and the oh it's very nice it's interesting to hear you very polite very correct in my opin my interpretation of that story is that the was a person of m nees what does it mean somebody asked me what does it mean to be a what does it mean and what if a person is earning a living and they're earning a living by working how can they taste of what it means to be a sh what does it mean that all of they call Israel today it's a whole movement around the world to appreciate what you are somebody asked me this couple of months ago I said the way I understand it you go to the whole kav in why God created the world why am I in this world so there's one way to look at it I'm here to earn a good place in to see the of which is of course prepare yourself for the great reward or there's another way of looking at life that life is to perfect to become an to become a person who have has perfected themselves as a person and of course this is true as well and the instilled in a generation and taught us that the the central reason everything of course is but the central thing is to make a to make this world into a dwelling place for God what is the difference between all the other reasons and that one all the other reasons are centered around the person themselves what does God want what does Hashem want Hashem doesn't only want that I should put on filling or light a candle for shabas and get a nice place in Gade Hashem wants that PL that somebody who you never met before should put on filling or should light a candle for or should do a Mitzvah that's what is that's what is that's what it is that 's whole life was not about herself it was not about am I going to get a benefit from this alha so when this girl said it's more important that that everon should spend another minute with the rebba than that we should be there it means she was thinking of what's more important not what am I going to enjoy more what's going to be more pleasurable or more meaningful or more uh lasting In My Memory that wasn't what it was about it's about something Beyond myself and so I believe that that's my own interpretation that's my interpretation that the that theim was saying a person who looks on life as to what the abish wants not what is best for me or what is going to be most desirable for me or most enjoyable for me at this moment that is the that is the key to everything so you speak about a person who that that selfless it's on every level but by I heard two two from two people over many decades about how the Reb greeted the rebit when he came into the house tonight I heard a third and one was somebody who did something they should not have done and that was that they went to the they went and listened in the window in the house many many years ago and they heard that the re came into the house and made the windows open it was summer maybe and his first words were there was K tonight another person person was our son y y who was in the basement ofkin house where jaffi Ander they had an apartment there and he was there unknowingly was suers and he overheard after then he never never went into that room when it was the time when the was in or something but he heard that uh the came into the with the and the first thing he said was there was a very big crowd in je and tonight we heard from fell that the said and what I understand is that something pleasant when you come into the house when you come in you you're carrying with you all the anxieties and pressures from before and from the way and everything else the first thing to do is to say something nice the first thing to say when you get come into a house to your spouse or to someone else is something positive something interesting I can I I could imagine that that's what what they did all the time the question is when you hear about someone like this it's not just a nice pleasant story of a very highly brilliant woman Z said she was she had a mind like a like the was quick she was deep she's creative very very a smart person so many things you can say but really she was you heard that that she would not let the doctors come to and even when the doctors came she said I won't let you see me until you have something to eat you've been working all day that was a few hours before she passed away so how can how can the average person besides really looking up to that great example and having full of praise and and and uh recog but what can we do so the said when he spoke about the ones that the sun the sun Globe is reflected in the ocean you look on the ocean you can see a reflection of the sun you look on a river you look on a SW on a swimming pool you look on a tub of water you'll see the reflection of the sun you have a a a a a pot of of water even one single drop of water the entire Sun Globe is reflected in that drop of word it's that as long as that drop is pure and is facing the sun it reflects it and the said in the same way when you see a person whose greatness is impossible to Fathom and it's possible to be able to pretend that we ever be able to reach it you should just know that even if you're a little drop there's something you can do it means be doing something because not for yourself it means doing more it means caring about somebody else's comfort more it means caring about what does Hashem want more than I care about what am I going to get from it should be we should see the ultimate the G and and as it says will be in the front everything will be in the front together with her and it be