Faith When It Makes No Sense - Ari Abramowitz: The Land of Israel Fellowship

I'm still working through throwing my hands up in the air and trusting Hashem that he knows what he's doing in this war. I It sounds crazy to say the words. I'm just being honest. You know, I shared it with you last week. I've been feeling this sadness in my heart that things didn't go as I thought they should go. I mean, it's really unbelievable. Overnight, life has gone back to normal. Whatever that means, back to normal. You know, we went from being on the verge of what felt like milit World War II, Armageddon, the apocalypse, whatever you want to call it. To me, it sure felt like we were on the verge of it. And we went from that to a sense of calm and security, which arguably we haven't felt since before October 7th, 2023 when Hamas launched this brutal, vicious, traumatizing, genocidal surprise attack against us. Now, you'd think that we as a nation would feel nothing but gratitude. And you'd think that I, as Arya Bramitz, after everything I've been through, would feel overflowing joy and thankfulness and nothing else. But I'm not. I mean, I feel those things, but definitely not nothing else. And I know I'm not alone. And while there is some small comfort in knowing others feel the same, it's only a slight consolation. Because no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to let it go completely. I can't fully accept the way things have turned out. And that makes me feel ungrateful. It reminds me of a joke. I may have uh told it to you before. A Jewish grandmother is at a beach with her little grandson playing in the sand. And suddenly, a huge wave comes crashing in and sweeps the boy out to sea. The grandmother falls to her knees, lifts her hands up to heaven, and cries out, "Dear God, please return my grandson to me. After all I've suffered in my life, he's all I have in the world. I'll be more observant. I'll light the Sabbath candles. I'll give to charity. Just please bring him back." Miraculously, another wave rolls and gently deposits the boy right back at her feet, unharmed. And she looks him over carefully. Then she glares up at the sky and says, "He was wearing a hat. I can't help but to feel like I'm that grandmother. Hashem has done these great miracles and I'm looking up and saying, "Yeah, but you could have done it like this." But what can I do? It's simply the truth of how I often feel these days. It's as if we were standing on this brink of a massive fundamental upheaval of biblical and historic proportions. Not only in the story of the state of Israel and not only in the saga of the Jewish people, but in the destiny of mankind. I mean, we've spoken about this before, how the ultimate struggle in history began in the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve defied the explicit command of Hashem by eating from the tree of knowledge. And as a consequence of that rebellion, the evil inclination was infused within them and by extension within each and every one of us. This force of confusion and doubt doesn't only exist within us but also manifests in the world around us. It takes its purest and most potent form in the nation of Amalcch, whose very essence is dedicated to extinguishing the light of the one true God and by extension to eradicating his people Israel from the face of the earth to extinguishing our light. For we are his witnesses. Our light is his light. And there have been moments it has seemed that Israel might finally defeat this darkness once and for all, redeeming that primordial sin and bringing humanity back towards the gates of Eden. I know that might sound grandiose, but in truth, I really believe that is what's at stake here. The last time that we really had Amalcch cornered to the degree that we could have completely finished them off was I believe in chapter 1 of the book of Samuel. This is uh chapter 15:es 2:3. Thus said the Lord of hosts, I am exacting the penalty for what Amalecch did to Israel for the assault he made upon them on the road on their way up from Egypt. Now go attack Amalecch and prescribe all that belongs to him. Spare no one, but kill man and woman alike, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass. This was the words of the prophet Samuel on behalf of God to Saul. But Saul doesn't do it. He doesn't see it all the way through. Samuel, of course, knew this prophetically. He knew prophetically what happened with Saul. And he went to meet Saul on the battlefield. And here is what happened. Samuel 1 153 When Samuel came to Saul, Saul said to him, "Blessed are you of the Lord. I have fulfilled the Lord's command." But Samuel said, "What then is the bleeding of the sheep in my ears and the loing of the cattle that I hear?" Saul answered, "They brought them up from the Amalachites, for the troops spared the best of the sheep and cattle to sacrifice to the Lord your God as and we prescribed the rest." Samuel of course sees through this and he confronts him directly. But Samuel said, "Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obedience to the Lord's command? Surely obedience is better than sacrifice, compliance than the fat of rams. For rebellion is like the sin of divination, defiance like iniquity and tarim. Because you rejected the word of the Lord, he has rejected you as king." Our sages teach us that we already know intuitively that this is true. We know this to be true. That if that pivotal mistake of Saul that empowered Amalcch, keeping Aag alive, keeping the nation of Amalcch alive and forcing us to continue this devastating war against their evil darkness. It was that mistake that kept the nation alive and resulted in October 7th. Here it is directly from the book of Exodus. For there is a hand on the throne of God. The Lord will be at war with Amalecch from generation to generation. Meaning that until that war is over, war itself will never be over. And Saul had the opportunity to end it all. Right there. The great sage Rabenu Bakaya, he says on that very verse, he says, "Were it not for the sin of Saul in sparing Ag and the best of Amalikch's cattle, Amalcch would have been entirely destroyed and the name of God and his throne would have been complete." The midash goes on to explain, "If Shaul had killed Aag as he was commanded, Haman would not have risen and Israel would not have suffered that decree." Let there be no mistake. Ayatollah Kmeni in Iran is the embodiment of the progeny and the legacy of Amalcch in the world today. I think I shared with you the way Ayatollah Kmeni's name is actually pronounced in Farsy. It's not Kahamei. It's Hammani. Hamani. That's right. Just like Haman. He is the Haman of our generation. He is the gag of the aag of our days. He's the Amalch of our times. And just last week it was clear that through the great miracles of Hashem, the armies of Israel were being wielded as a sword in his hands. And just as in the days of Samuel and Saul, the forces of Amalcch were being decimated in this glorious miraculous fashion. And yet, right at the moment when Agog himself was brought to his knees and the sword was in our grasp, we listened to the voices urging us to back down, to hold back from finishing the task. Whatever the reasons or justification, they're ultimately irrelevant. Now, once again, we're plunged back into the confusion. There's talk of reviving the Abraham Accords, but somehow amid all the discussions, the words Palestinian state being contingent that's being thrown around. It's utterly insane and absurd. Precisely the kind of thinking that brought us to October 7th in the first place. It also deeply undermines the truth and the beauty of the Abraham Accords themselves whose genius was that they weren't contingent on anything other than the genuine desire of both sides to reconcile and build peace. The moment you make peace contingent, especially on establishing a terror state in the heart of the very land that God promised to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, you sabotage the very foundations upon which the accords were built. Even whispering such ideas undermines any chances they might have had. If only we had possessed the faith to see this through, to do whatever was necessary to end this darkness and this nightmare for Israel and for the entire world, regardless of what the empires and the nations and the superpowers might say. Had we simply finished the mission, it would have at the very least brought tremendous glory to Hashem's name in the world instead of allowing others to swoop in and claim that even a measure of that glory and credit belongs to them. The heart of the matter is this. It would have required tremendous faith in God and trust in him alone to summon the political, military, and national will to finish what's needed that needed to be done then. And that faith, the courage to defy Trump and the UN and the entire world calling for deescalation may have been the very faith necessary to rectify Saul's original sin, to obliterate Amalcch and to sanctify Hashem's name before all humanity. But that's not how it happened. And so my struggle now is to accept that reality as Hashem's will and to internalize the truth that Hashem alone is running the show and that redemption will unfold in his perfect wisdom, not according to my limited perspective and understanding. My consolation is that my anguish and existential pain are not for myself. That much I know with certainty. It's a it's really coming from this burning jealousy for Hashem's honor which feels trampled and diminished in the wake of such great miracles and kindness and and mercies that he poured upon the nation of Israel and upon me personally. So my internal work now is to seek deeper insight into why this element of our national character continues to plague us. Maybe there's something to learn here. There's something to do. And you know, instead of resenting it and resisting it or lashing out in anger at it, I'm really trying to humble myself and ask Hashem for the wisdom to understand it, to understand why. Why do we seem to come so close to finishing the mission only to step back at the last moment? Why does this why does why does redemption always feel like it's right there, just within reach, and yet it slips through our fingers? And I've been wrestling with that question and as I have my thoughts have kept returning to this week's para as they always do when we seek understanding for the challenges we face we face both personally and as a nation which brings us to Korak. You know Korak was a man who stood on the brink of greatness. He was brilliant. He was charismatic. He was a Levite of noble lineage. And yet he fell into the same trap that has snared so many throughout history, including King Saul in his war against Amalcch. Kor's rebellion was not merely a political power grab. It was an ideological rebellion. He claimed, "Ravlam, you have taken too much upon yourselves. For all the congregation are holy, every one of them, and Hashem is among them. Why then do you raise yourself above the assembly of Hashem?" That's what he said to Moses. On the surface, his words sounded so righteous, equality, holiness for all. But Moshe saw through it. He understood that Koraf's real sin was not about seeking holiness, but about refusing to accept Hashem's will when it clashed with his own desires and understanding. Korak couldn't accept that Hashem chooses who leads. Hashem chooses. Hashem chooses how the world unfolds and how redemption progresses. He wanted holiness, but on his terms. And that, my friends, is my own personal struggle right now. I want redemption, but it appears I want it on my terms. I want Amalcch wiped out on my timeline. I want Hashem's glory revealed to the world, the entire world right now. But Parsha Korak reminds us, sometimes our spiritual yearning, no matter how righteous it feels, can become a rebellion if we demand that Hashem's will match ours. Korak fell because he could not surrender to the mystery of Hashem's plan. And that's what I'm wrestling with. It's so easy to look at the geopolitics, the armies, the deals, the superpowers, and to imagine that we see the full picture. But we don't. Saul couldn't see it at all. Korak couldn't see it at all. And neither can we. At least neither can I. We stand in the middle of this cosmic tapestry. From our limited vantage point, it looks like threads are tangled and frayed. But from above, from Hashem's view, it's a masterpiece in progress. That's why Moshe fell on his face when Korak rebelled. Because the only way to navigate confusion and disappointment is with humility. To admit, I don't understand, but I trust you, Hashem. And that's where I'm trying to get to. My heartbreak over what didn't happen in Iran, over the retreat from wiping Amalcch out once and for all, that heartbreak is real. But if I cling to my own vision of how redemption should look, I risk becoming like Korak. Certain certain that my plan is better than Hashem's. And so I'm coming to the realization that my avoda, my inner work, my service of Hashem is to hold two truths at once. On the one hand, to continue yearning with all of my heart for Hashem's name to be glorified, for Amalcch to be destroyed, for Israel to dwell safely in our land, and for the rebuilding of the temple, and not only to yearn for it and pray for it, but to do everything in my power to seek to manifest it in the world, while at the same time to surrender to Hashem's plan, even when it makes no sense to me at all. Because ultimately, as Schlommo said, many are the thoughts in a man's heart, but it is the council of Hashem that will stand. Or as Moshe says later in Deuteronomy, the hidden things belong to Hashem, our God, but the revealed things belong to us. So my prayer for myself and for all of us is that Hashem gives us the strength to keep fighting for truth, to keep yearning for redemption, and at the same time to trust him completely even when the path takes turns we don't expect or understand. Because one thing I know for sure, Gula is coming. Redemption is on its way. Whether it happens the way we imagine or in the way we never dreamt, it will come. And may we merit to see it speedily in our days. Amen. [Music]