Transcript
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Half hour I'm waiting. No one's here. 45 minutes
I'm waiting. No one's here. My wife, Miskenah,
she looks at me. I'm sad. She's sad. Oh, you
work. You studied all day. You left Wall Street
for this. You know, not only not uh you're not
making any money. Now you don't even have any
students to teach. This Torah this is this is the
reward? I said shiur is going to happen tonight.
Why? I showed up for the shiur. HaShem's going
to show up for the shiur also at 9:00. One way or
another was starting the shiur and 9:00 started.
We started the shiur with who? Me and HaShem. Me
and HaShem started the shiur. We went into it.
We went into it. You guys didn't know there was
nobody there on the camera. You just see me. You
don't seem but the shiur was powerful. I'm talking
about an hour and 15 minutes into this shiur.
It's fire. One of the students comes in. He
comes in. I'm screaming like this. I'm doing
the guy comes in. He's looking for people.
Well, you get the Ruach HaKodesh he made
everybody disappear?!! How he's looking
and looking and I'm going, I'm going like as
if he's here. He's not here. Nothing. Where
is she? He doesn't know what to do with
himself. Poor guy. He just sits there.
for the next you know I think I went
in for another 45 minutes hour and he
realized either he's going crazy or I
went something happened here after an
hour he finished man and first question the
camera goes off he goes wait so you tell me
you had and nobody was seem here's
here you do HaShem comes to the shoe
I will tell you can't cancel shiur.
So gives you a test but sometimes more difficult
than that. Sometimes you have a big room not your
house. You come to the sh and you got three
people. And one of the people is new. He says
to me, "Ha, nobody came for you." Not only I'm
painted, my heart is broke into 16 pieces. I
studied all day, all night, all this, all this.
Preparing for free. It cost me $300 to do every
shiur. Sometimes 500, sometimes more, sometimes
it cost a few hundred for every shiur. It's not
free. It costs money. There's the gas, there's
the employees, there's the YouTube, there's all
these fees for every sh. People think it's like,
oh, no, no, he has nothing to do. He probably has
like a few million dollars sitting in some stash.
It costs money for every shiur. Everybody always
says, "Oh, yeah, he's uh yeah, look, look, they
donated uh $27 on Facebook. He's making plenty.
Look, they donated today. A big uh annual high,
52- week high, $101." They think, "Oh, look, he's
making money off of it. It cost $3, $400 for every
shoe. You think the CDs are free? Somebody has to
pay for it. The car is free. Somebody has to pay
for it. The employees that put all the stuff, team
Hashem, you think everybody's free?" No. Something
else, people have to pay for it. Everything people
have to pay for. Sometimes I have a sh I pay them
to give me just to give me the opportunity to do a
not like other people give me five 10 $20,000 to
come give them a sh I'll pay you just to let me
speak to you why fill up the room I need people
to do cha you think oh no he has nothing to do
he's making money for all of those people that
think I'm hiding something or I'm making millions
I don't even take a salary from not a single
dollar not a single penny not a single penny
This is not to make any This is a reality meaning
that at the very least you want people to show up
and if they're not going to show up you going
to laugh in my face too. That's what happened.
That's what happened one time. Three people in the
crowd. I'm one of them. And one of the guys says,
"Ha, nobody shows up. Nobody shows up for you."
I said, "Yeah, I guess no. I don't have the why
what I really want to do is take the table
throw on his head but it doesn't look good
for the Torah if I take the table throw on his
head. So I say yeah I don't have any merits.
What could I do? I don't have any marriage.
What could I do? I don't have any merits. If
you have marriage you have a people. You don't
have any merits like me. You don't have people.
So this is how my relationship
with the student started.
Sometimes a person thinks he's religious even
though he has no midot whatsoever. No midot
his best mida is when he's quiet when he's
sleeping. That's his best mid. Every second
he's awake he's making a sin. Every second
he's awake he's making a sin because of his
horrible character traits. Making fun
of people. interrupting shim he doesn't
realize why he's made so many sins he doesn't
realize the difference between good and bad
now why does such a person such a person like this
he's horrible but even he this horrible person is
better is better than this student that's like
a funnel where he lets in one ear and out the
other. How could it be that somebody has made fun
of you in your face? How could he be better than
a funnel than someone that's one that's not
listening to anything? How? Because him only
reason why he's making fun and he's annoying and
he's whatever he is is because there's no good in
him yet. You haven't taught him Torah. You haven't
reached him. You haven't connected. He realizes
he's sick. He's spiritually sick. Nothing
wrong with him. We're all spiritually sick.
There's nothing wrong with being spiritually
sick. There's something wrong with denying it.
