Essence of Chasidus #14- What's purpose of a Chasidic kiss? Story w Hungarian Rav on Simchos Torah

so we're now on page we're on page on page 43 sorry on page 43 but let's uh briefly recap what we learned yesterday in in chapter 8 in pedic hay on page 41. that ever explained that to appreciate understanding what hasidis is the contribution of the titus of to traditional judaism to torah an understanding of what the reward of studying considers is and the reward will be felt and seen and appreciated when she comes in other words if you had to sum up qasidis you would say is the torah and there are people that get frazzled by by this statement how could you say that the gemara is not a russian that's a very very shallow response and shallow because they don't understand what we mean by terrorism and we explained that yesterday so i don't really want to repeat it but briefly means that we will understand the inner meaning of the title of the talmud it doesn't mean available that we're not going to learn gemara it doesn't mean we're not going to learn halal it means we will feel and see kimura and as we walk down the street so we walk the hallways of the surgery room the hospital that you're in now you walk there and if you have a good day you think some tighter as you walk down under the 12th sukkah that ever suggested every child knows surely every adult know memorize that's on a good day and on a bad day if you know it ain't going well okay you just walk down there but looking at you but hashem with your full beard and your ambiance they know this is a from jew and they respect you for that that's fine but you can't say that the walls of the hospital over there in cologne wherever you are they feel mashiach they see mashiach and not only the walls the people the eden no what would be when the sheikh would come i told you the verb aha i got it that's what we meant that aha isn't only for siddhis and kabbalah and sequence of the toyota it's for the piece of gemara now you learn a piece of kamara with all the repair yams and aura of kiva gears and all the commentaries and all the big fingers and fat fingers and high fingers whatever yeah at the end of the day talking about one ox scoring another axe or a woman getting a get or getting married or shaking a leaf and shake and bake and eat matson go to the bathroom and everything else very nice but can i say that i see it i feel it because if we see him feel we want it right if you see and feel a good deal you're at the store waiting online a half a night to buy the um thanksgiving day returns or whatever whatever they have over there right i remember by the rebels and and and since tyra and and rosh hashanah we came hours before to get a place to get a place by fabregan to get a place by kia schaefer with 5 000 people in the room and a smoke chimney coming up out as the smoke rye rose from the compression and everything that was real i saw my eyes something that you perceive and feel and boy did i feel it when i fainted one year trying to see the river widely blew the shaffer and i was pressed against a bench and i'm shorter and guys were taller than me and i just started to black out and i had to run out so when you see and feel something you gravitate towards it or you distance yourself depending if it's a feeling of love and attraction or feeling of awesomeness which which brings distance respect you don't just march into a rough and a river and just put your hand around them if you do that not only are you in big trouble you're a fool frankly one simple story i was here i really said to him a little bit then i decided it's time to visit some of my friends at borough park so i went into a shul and and rubbed there i thought he's just a rub later i found out they they turned him into a rabbit like a very fine jew he knew him of the older generation and he knew the babbage from summer camp when he ran away and i i i just i came and everyone was standing in a big circle i'm sure you've seen this in in different schools in he was dancing with a little tire himself back and forth and back and forth and back and forth i guess it was high ma guess what hayam dolphin did i broke through the line of the people surrounding him i grabbed him and i kissed him they wanted to make minced meat out of me and he turns to me and he says to me in my ear he says they fast they don't get it because he he knew about it from summer camp when he was with the baba jackson who are full of love and full of a kiss and it's it's that that that's natural so although he didn't grow up that way but he he identified because having lived with them so she says to me these guys here in borough they have no idea what your culture is about and that giving a rabbi and a rob and a rabbit kiss is normal it's not out of respect that's that's the most genuine type of respect but they can't handle it so the idea of living a mashiach the experience of mashiach will be that the peace of gomorrah will be as lovable as real so therefore the rabbit then goes if that's the case what brings and leads to this mashiach experience that ever says what brings to what brings it is what it brings to it i'm sorry what what it brings is mashiach the life of mashiach the reality of mashiach what's mashiach so in the past in chapter four he gave us some halal points from the rambam three or four different nuances about what will be sheikh will come and it's important to know those and to understand them in this chapter that we learned yesterday that ever goes a step further and says the following and this is on page 43 which we went a little quicker fast yesterday at the end so i'll just repeat and explain there's a concept called co sm it's already brought earlier in the writings of israel israel philosophers is beyond change not only hillel does it not change it cannot change this is a very important idea think about it i want you to think about it normally what we say is that there's something that because of its conditions cannot change that's not what we're saying here malaysia we're saying much more we're saying it's not in the realm of change you hear the difference one one idea is poise actuality it cannot change the conditions that we that exist about it and at that cert about it and about its place and time is that it's not going to change okay for example putin with his approach now he ain't changing he's an old-time kgb nick i don't know velveo if i'm wrong you'll correct me but this is seems to me an american the you know novice he ain't changing it's in his bloodstream it's in his dna but is it not changeable oh yes it's changeable you know why because there's a god and when hashem decides he wants to break the soviet union it crushes overnight it falls overnight when hashem says the berlin wall is coming down it happens overnight when hashem says he wants a pandemic it happens overnight holy see again in other words there are things that in in the gather of oil in the in in the conditions of the world that we live in won't change but not that they're not changeable then there is something that from on high from the way god created them to be they're beyond change and therefore they'll never change because this explains this concept regarding the cut the idea of an exon the difference between an exam an essence and a manifestation known in hasidis as his pashtut means the manifestation the form and extension that the essence takes and that's open to change and even if it doesn't change it's only conditional you know why it doesn't change because the atmosphere is not right because the situation is not right but take that and put it in another place which is at adaptable to the situation and right for change it's going to change that ever in his last minor that he that he gave before he had his first stroke after and to us sidden which is uh it's like the last will and testament and it's coming up to the rebels yards like next shabbos so we study that mimer that ever says they're a very interesting thing that when i when i limited the first time it blew me away that ever says there that we see people who came from oppressive countries he means you know russia the soviet union and you know where you couldn't practice in hindusky your judaism and they had self-sacrifice messiahs and and literally as i've told you over and over that ramayana the hostage would say if you're not ready to let yourself go to the shrita you ain't worth anything you talk about a man a man means someone who does what god wants and if they want to chop your head off and shoot you dead do it i'm not scared of you so ramayana would say if you're not prepared to go for the shrita don't tell me about this guy being some special guy he ain't nothing special he's just another one another one amongst others right the messiness that these eden the common people every russian geet during stalin's time was like that what i mean every to to a degree more or less especially those who were sitting with the freedom and some brussels and some others yet select few but primarily was mostly chabad that remained there totally self-sacrifice and if you want to know about more about that listen to my interview with salman sirota on meaningful interviews he was there in the late 50s and 60s and he gives a a a a bird's eye view of what he and the qasidan live through in moscow and you'll have a little picture and glimpse into what mesita's nephew is and he's already in the sixties go back to the twenties and thirties it was much worse says that it had been the mimer why is it dainy that when these same people who would not conf would not rat on their brothers and sisters to the kgb knowing that they might be taken away and never see daylight again and be tortured etc and they were willing to do it they had merciless nephesh they come to new york territory to here there and everywhere and they're walking around with little shorts at the beach and if they're morph room but they don't wear shorts they're playing golf at the country club in south carolina and at that ain't if that's too much with them they're surfing the internet day and night basically where's your mysterious nephesh and when things get hot and heavy and it's a little uncomfortable you don't hear from them you know what the rabbit says in the moment you know why that you know why that is because this proves and shows that their mercedes nephesh in russia was not from an excellent perspective just from a manifestation perspective when i read that i fell down could you imagine a man is willing to give his life for god and it's still not edson you have to learn this maya the red because it really explains what etzem is and what and what oneness with god is what yahida is not changeable that's the point and if it's changeable because of situation and condition then that's not yeshida yes i said i just on this point i was just thinking and just don't know i just entered into my mind and we've been learning about this for two three days but we're talking about yeshida are you talking about when you had or or or other you feed this with direct life with the revenue yeah ever to have a one-on-one sold you know one-on-one conversation it was considered if they were doing it properly it wasn't just one body to another body was one soul to another soul which is hence so you're yes you're correct to say that the akita's experience is very um very much a the hope was to to to come to the the yehida within you to connect to the heat of the rebel to have a conversation from that perspective i don't know if you if you know but uh wrote a book spiritual intimacy i found that to be the best book on the concept of yukidus um but when you read it you need to have a background you know but uh he really he really explained very very well the overall concept of you yeah the only book in english that i know of so far that really uh goes so so great into detail but what you said earlier is correct what you said earlier is correct so let's go back to the question yes the name of the book i think it's called spiritual intimacy it was put out by jason harrison uh the author was um the bavator clustered called rep salman schechter and he wrote it in english many years ago and he brings many different traditions yes hello i i think that was his phd thesis oh okay that he later published as a book thank you i didn't know so what you were saying johnny even though it's not so directly connected to the to the top to the to the textbook but just for a moment people ask the question how can i have your feedback today how can baroque gordon in ramat shemesh i don't know if you ever saw that ever baroque but how could you have your feeders in in a week and a half away from gimbal thomas you know the answer is exactly because of this idea every essence is beyond change so if you're looking for essence and want to experience essence it's it it's like you're having yakidas but you'll say but i'm not in the rapper's room in 770. i'm here there every that's semantics that's what we call citizen fascinations definitions now sure yes sir you know when you're when you're in together with your red bandha sediment and there's thousands of people and you're dancing and singing and it it adds to the it is to the frankly to the eye but the the the kuda of yeshida's is beyond change so it it's you know for a certain one second for a certain amount of time hashem wants your rabbit to be alive and for you to have an opportunity to go into this people ask me always did you have a relationship with the laboratory and i said yes i did but it wasn't a relationship that i was in every other month to see that ever because of my time that wasn't the schedule impossible i wrote to him and i got answers and i had questions but that's also not the what establishes the relationship what establishes the relationship is the yogic that is the question and we live in this shallow world where everyone and everything is about you know quick fix quick fix and that would that was not at all the ethos of hasidim there was a story there was a hostage named the alter simchovich who was a son-in-law of rab salman havelin who the rebel sharp sent to open the yeshiva terrace emma's in in heaven in 1911. the yeshiva in terrorism is today right over there on barry llama the other side is from 1911 not in the same location and moved around if zalman had a one of his son was was a year named although she had a very interesting hustle and a real or even hashem a lot to say about it but not now so the story is that he was once he was once standing online to have yahidis with the rebel rashad yeah and and there was also the famous khabar khashoggi garowicz horowitz known as the masmit and they and these were two giant sidon two real eden who were dedicated to hashem and each sees no the altar sees the way suddenly the way he has worked by that is you prepared yourself some for a week some for a month meaning you ate less you spoke less you divined more because you learned more you gave more to dhaka you practice more obviously israel it was an eternal shift of soul of refinement of soul and then the day of yahidis many of hasidim fasted all day it was it was a lot of in inner work and and and really made you sweat and and and come to a place where the ego was a little less a little less so they're both standing on the law on the line waiting their turn to see the rebel for yahidis and all of a sudden each of the massmed sister about her has caught his friend he says i'm leaving the line she says what you're leaving that you're about to go in to see the devil so he says i'm not ready i'm not ready that each of the mossment who would dive in till three four five o'clock every day chakras not because he got up eleven twelve he got up at five four five in the morning because he was a massive avid hashem who would only eat burnt mats on pesach and when he traveled as a shaddaar for the previous he poured his own pot and pan whatever to be able to have something because he didn't trust anyone's castras you're talking about a a he that you won't find anyway so he says i'm not ready so the bowser looks him and he says ichi you're not ready and he says no i'm not ready i cannot go into the devil i'm not going to i can't bear my soul to the river because i'm not ready spiritually and he leaves so the bowel to said later to the bakari and he was a mashfia in tara samus in the late 20s and until they passed on 39 and here destroys buried in harassing he said each him when he goes away from the line each day that he delays seeing that before he becomes nicer and better but ah he says if i were to cut out the line with the same attitude i wouldn't become nicer and better so i'm going in today to see the rather and believe me he was just as connected as egypt but it's i'm sharing with you that this yahidis it wasn't about just going a rabbit give me a little blessing for my kid to get married or no and the altar 22 look it up he chastises those that come to him asking for gospels now i would have already had this dialogue with the previous number how do you justify asking that before blessings of material matter when the alternate chapter in egypt already criticizes that and basically the answer is that that's not what the altar ever meant he meant that shouldn't be the focus but if your gosh miss is your rookies as well because you need to survive and and do for hashem then the gosh peace becomes but that's another discussion hillary you wanted to say something i wanted to see if you would elaborate a little on the whole subject of kissing that you talked about kissing that that rev up and i i'm a little uh perplexed by the various things i've come a little across in the in the um on the concept in in sephora hasidas um on the first uh of course the uh the you know kissing is has spiritual meaning in shira shirim and in the zohar and it talks about it uh with spiritual meaning the baal shem tov seemed to have uh uh to uh be very cautious about about kissing and this forum bring that i wonder if you could just help me to understand what the what the parameters are and okay uh briefly i wasn't i wasn't expecting this to be part of the shield this morning this needs a whole ship for itself but it's brought in the holy swatten you know especially in the zeira condition the kiss fierizon that the avoider that's called nishiki nishikin right kissing the avoider of the chicken is a very profound available because it expresses it comes from the inside so there is a similarity between the akita's experience and the nishikin experience both are inner driven experiences when when a person engages in an inner experience they need to be there if they're not there it's what we call it superficial and it leads to unhealthy unwanted issues and i'm not just talking about physically and materially but i'm talking about spiritually too right one of the one of the things that they say about the mises beneath that the children of aaron passed away is because they had an ashikin experience they wanted to kiss god but but it was inappropriate in the place and time that they that they displayed it and hasidah explains that what they were displaying was a ratsu belief a yearning without a return we want to have twice a nephesh cessation of body and just soul kissing has that ability but it needs to be very much um [Music] harnessed in a way that it comes from the right place and if it doesn't come from the right place it's misusing it and it brings the it brings the worst damage to the soul and to the body as well and this is this is a an avoider that requires requires refinement now we find in halakhah regarding the shikit of two people that are married and things like that that there's an appropriate time there's an inappropriate time and even at the appropriate time there is a cavanagh that's required acquired yeah to to make that in the chicken holy and if not it's not holy it might feel good it might taste good you know but it's not holy and if it's not holy then you're on your own you know so when you're on your own you could fall or you could rise depending on the day depending on the situation so that's why when you mention you know writing that cautions how to identify with with nashik and kissing in the right way it follows in line of what i said it's not coming from the panemias it's a problem can you can you um does this firm seem to emphasize not kissing children not kissing children in shul but also being careful about kissing children in general which seems sort of counterintuitive i i'm besides the halacha that you just quoted which just just as an aside i gotta tell you what tremendous told uh with rabbi dubove of manchester who was a margaret shearer in the arabic segals litvish manchester yeshiva told red mendel they hadn't seen each other from russia remember got out in 62-63 he came to to to to to london his son lived there at beryl and he traveled around and the first time that he saw rabbi dubo who was also from russia it was in the basement and he ran over to him and he gave him a hug and a kiss and rabbi dubose tell me them said to the resiver it's forbidden to do it in the basement matters when there's a when there's a base agnosis when there's a safety here that you quoted hillary and a mendel with all of his khabad smarts look the chevre in the eyes and they said you're right if you're kissing as a person i'm not allowed to kiss him but when you kiss him because he's a safer torah you should be kissing him that that's in line hillary with what i said before is the kissing a say for tyra kiss or is it just a kiss so but as far as children what you're referring to actually if you have a a source and and and some writing on that i'd like to see that i i i don't i don't remember coming across that you know so if you have any writing i'll look into it yeah please look into it but overall that is that is the idea of nishikin and it's it needs a lot more conversation but that briefly is the idea so just as we're talking about the experience is very [Applause] inner driven from inside out not outside in so too is with nishikin now can one say well just as if i go into yajidas even if i'm not feeling that inner drive and i'm not there the schizoise will help the ponemias yes especially living in our generation the answer is yes but that's not the ultimate that's not what when what we've said for the last half hour that's not the chabad second best and that's necessary today and that's why i say all of these things to go and say and this goes back to isra's question of last week you know shouldn't be done and no i'm not going to say that because you have to meet people and where they are if it's kosher and how logically acceptable if not that's a different story you know and to say i'm going to say with the kissing within the chicken if the nashiken will will bring to a more intimate deep relationship that's torah oriented and okay even if you you know even if the reason is because of the attraction or your own taiva etc we shall continue tomorrow i think we learned we didn't learn inside but we learned a lot outside didn't we have moisture what do you say for sure i think hill's bringing up a question which has long been uh long been on my mind because i remember learning in um different blood fish circles it was talking about i've seen it and it's such a different this issue the kissing it's in and especially in like the like what mendel was saying yeah it's dolphin when you brought up the example when you ran in and you kissed that rabbit yeah and when he whispered in your ear when he whispered in your ear you could you you you need to write a book about it [Laughter] because it's such a there's so much depth in that this discussion right especially what he said right tremendous by the depths there i i hear it just one last story that i just reminded myself i have to tell you someone here a friend of shul told me in baltimore 1960 61 62 63 early 60s he's a young boy his father takes him at night it's already cold out there in baltimore simcastora knight to dance with the terror he's a four or five six year old little boy the father walks him in and and it wasn't actually the show that they're dominant but it was on the way to the show and explored down the swara location that you should stop off in different shoes to participate in the dancing so he stops into the schlitzfischer's shawl in baltimore and he's hugging his son and a good lit goes over to him and says rabbit can assure your only hug your fat your torah not your child have a great day that's that supports what you said moishe it's a different world not a bad world it's a different world that's all and within and and the story that i told you before with the city of that's within itself and by the way it wasn't that way you go back 150 years you're going to atone the basement in tone in russia belarus wherever you know why were they hugging and kissing each other and drinking master i told you that okay it's documented by pinterest goldenstein who was there in 1874 he tells over what happened she should place her knight in the tongue the basement read what it says there someone's trying to get it published in english but now you're now still in yiddish and that's just the one duke ma one example you know so so uh historically hilo i think it's important to know that this wasn't just a bad thing like they portray it you know in all the brochures uh the chabad you see the house of dancing and hugging and kissing and that's all that's the bothers you know but we are more it wasn't that way i'm not saying in the hungarian citizen i'm not saying that but in the russian citizen it was very much karleen bresliv the russian citizen were very much uh overall again now maybe rab nachman says i don't know i'm not a bucky maybe says somewhere that shouldn't be done i don't know or if nelson writes it you know i'm saying i don't know but culturally the russians see them were very hard to see them and it's so interesting because because but it came down to the hug and kiss and if you take a look at the red bat the fabregas and i'm always like marveled here is a little babbling but such an intellectual giant such a pusha tater right genius the one word that's different between his matsava and the previous rabbits that are next to each other is the word ha going the previous rabbit doesn't say hakoin but the rabbit says ha going why because he was a guy in an english simply a a genius of of torah study and this rabbit look at him when he was clapping if i break him when he was sitting here it's like amazing because that is ultimate khabad coming from up here to here and expressing it to the hug and the kiss but coming from the right perspective so not to negate the hug and the kiss but to make sure it's inner driven panemius have a great day see everyone tomorrow zagism good thank you bye um