Episode 6, Friendship Circle of Brooklyn: "Being there, for everyone."

the day-to-day operations at Friendship Circle are so much more than what meets the eye there's what we all know and surprisingly so much that we might not I had the honor of sitting with barl and Connie maesi co-directors of Friendship Circle of Brooklyn for 13 years are we as a community doing enough what measures must the community put in place to ensure that nobody Falls through the cracks if there was one thing collectively that every one of us can take upon ourselves to help turn a neighborhood into a community what might that look like thank you all for tuning in hello um I have the distinct pleasure of sitting here with the amazing barl and KH majeski of Friendship Circle of Brooklyn first off thank you guys so much for making the time it's it's really an honor thanks for having us okay okay without going we're not looking for a Cinderella story but tell us how barl and Han majeski and Friendship Circle came to be um we have a Cinderella story no you have a Cinderella Story um so like many young couples um after we got married we felt that um we want to go onus H being from Australia um our natural and I spent time there um so our natural uh path was to go Australia for many reasons it didn't work out um and we started looking around the United States around literally around the world um and for reason another things didn't uh pan out as as we were planning and was there discouragement along that route no I've W around was going through I think you know the similar Journeys right you know you date your wife and then you date SCH it was just part of the process and you throughout this whole process of figuring out what you were going to do if something wasn't meant to be you had the notion of show it just wasn't meant to be we'll find something and we'll move on to the next one just about finding the right place right right okay so Friendship Circle so um I wish there was a nice romantic story involved but uh it's just um so I I was at one point took on a job a part-time job at the Jewish Children's Museum um and then when the job that I had taken on had finished the uh K who was director of ENT circle before us had recently stepped down from our position and the museum offered us the organization right for many years uh the CH sashem hon bugart they funded um a big portion of the Friendship Circle and uh you know times were tough and they weren't able to at that point so they offered us the m so what year was this we're entering our 13th year you're entering year 13 so we're so it's 2011 2012 Summer 2012 I think yeah so we we took it on and we said we'll do it for a year really because um I needed a at that point it was I needed a job right and I I knew the museum I knew I knew it was somewhat familiar yeah it was some familiar we had no idea um what Friendship Circle was what special's children were yeah I mean it was it was a complete foreign world to us we did some basic research spoke to a few families but like I mean correct me if I'm wrong but I imagine the first ingredient the first characteristic that is needed is just Love in Your Heart Right that that that we have right you know you have but I don't know if we knew that then right A lot of people that we meet in the special needs world have a very personal connection to a special needs person we didn't have that interesting it was very foreign to both of us also I think at that point our limited the knowledge of what frle was we thought it was just being a program coordinator right and fundraising um and even within that we had you know there was okay we can create events and you know we had a background in San programming Sayan youth engagement so okay we we know we can figure this out and as our listeners will soon find out it you were dead wrong very very much very much so um but that's that's so we took it on for a year and uh 13 years later even during that first year though we still looked into's opportunities you were kind ofing not halfing we we didn't think this was going to be long term right I didn't want to live in Crown Heights Friendship Circle was not a SCH we ever dreamed of doing so well you mentioned Crown Heights that's actually pretty good conduit to my next question so we we understand barl and KH came to Friendship Circle talk to me a little bit about the Crown Heights component having a Friendship Circle in Brooklyn BG let's but with a base in Crown Heights with a with a the ex the the vast majority of what you're doing is based in Crown Heights what's what's the Crown Heights component like what's the reception been like what's the interaction with the Crown Heights Community Connie we we'll pose this question to you so I think that the community's come a really really long way when we first started and we would go around asking people to support a program support the organization we were literally met with people saying to us what do we need it for why can't the kids just sit at home why do you need to do programs for them there was a complete lack of understanding um yeah naively we pushed on thinking I don't think we even thought oh we can change this it was just like this is what we're committed to this is what we're doing so we just have to figure out how to make it work um we don't get those comments anymore thank God like through the Crown Heights relationship with Friendship Circle today and 13 years ago is virtually unrecognizable yeah yeah we've seen a tremendous tremendous change for the in terms of how the community receives Friendship Circle in terms of the volunteerism in terms of the the the the the support that you're getting from the crownit community yeah most of our support comes directly from the community um I mean just stories that amilies tell us the fact that the volunteers think it's the coolest thing to be part of Friendship Circle this shows that it's a respectable organization something that people want to be part of that it's meaningful to them um I don't think we I think people volunteered but I don't know if there was this same massive passion and drive um a family that goes to a supermarket I still remember in the beginning one of our mom's writing about how she was in a supermarket and her son was having a meltdown on the floor and all she was met with were stairs wow and people moving away I don't think that happens anymore on a well I mean that's got to be encouraging it's got It's got to give you like so much and what you're doing and and why you're doing it and to continue you mentioned volunteer there's a cultural thing there's a very strong cultural component about being a Friendship Circle volunteer I don't know what it is I think it's primarily I'm cool right it's primarily if I'm not mistaken it's it's the vast majority of them are high school girls and boys boys as well yeah we this year we had about 150 girls and about 75 B wow yeah interesting it's the cool thing to do and I've I've seen that from from an outsider's perspective you know I grew up in Crown Heights and a lot of my family did have a lot to do with Friendship Circle I think I have a lot several sisters who were involved in multiple different capacities but it seemed like the cool thing to do is there an active effort to Engage The Volunteers make them feel like this is more than just you know I'm sorry for putting it this way but picking up trash on the side of the highway like this is something meaningful something that they need to instill within themselves talk to me about that recruitment process um thank God recruitment has never been difficult for us I know in other friendship circles they have to go around to schools and really you know do there's a very very heavy focus on facilitating the volunteer work um we hire people we hire a boys coordinator coordinator a girls coordinator their job is look out for our volunteers so there's a very personal connection that the volunteers have with the organization right um and we really do so much to support them we do um workshops throughout the year swag is a really great way to get them to feel so proud about what they're doing giving them sweaters giving them beanies they walk around screaming like they're walking advertisements for the organization and but that has a twofold twofold uh affect not just does it affect the volunteers it also affects the families that they work with because you're dealing with somebody who wants to be there who wants to be involved that's that's that's and the families know that Friendship Circle is an organization that is fun to be a part of to the effect a story happened recently that a um a a sibling of one of our one of our French Circle children told her mother told his mother that he feels bad for his classmates that don't have something special needs cuz they're not part of Friendship Circle cuz it's so awesome that is a so that's like a complete flip side like like it's not just not just is it taking away their stigma it's like it's making it the you know be like one of the cool kids we we do want people to join right but if you're joining we got you the families of the volunteers I would imagine this is something that you know a mom of a 15 16-year-old boy or girl in Crown Heights would jump at the chance to have their children involved in something so wholesome something so positive within the community is it I I get the sense again from an outsider's perspective but having not an entirely Outsiders perspective let's say that it extends beyond the volunteer and the child there's there's there's more that goes into it there's there's more moving pieces talk to me a little bit about what you know the typical person who comes in contact or or interacts with friendship circles says okay it's an organization there's a volunteer and the volunteer goes to the house of a child with special needs and helps him or her with his homework or helps him or takes him or her to a walk to on a walk to the park or something like that it's much more than that very much what what do we not know um what might we not know I'll tell you one thing that we did go into with the mindset is we want to create a community here for our families when we when we when we took it on we said that if we're going to do this it's GNA be our in the sense that just like if it would go to any Community to open house or to work for within that's there or Community organization we're not just running programs right you have is think does everything you you know you you you do the breast of the child you you marry them you bury them you know more than just spiritually I mean if somebody God forbid their child is incarcerated or arrested or something you know the People's First Call is their local Rabbi they so we we felt we didn't know how we were going to do it but we knew that we didn't just want to be an organization that that runs program we wanted to create a strong sense of community within the greater KES Community for for families that are children with special needs how are we going to do it we were going to figure it out uh right the first thing we did was we started again you know we we take a step back we we we we say that um Friendship Circle particularly in the fir Community is a last for because you know there's for every demographic right one demographic that didn't have schim was from children and adults with special needs in many letters bunch of famous letters of the to Dr wils um about the the getting children special needs to do Mitzvah pardon my ignorance who's Dr WS must put in the show notes no l incredible uh um he was he was a doctor in New York state psychiatric U I think it's um not Kings County one of those like you know um anyway and he he created I believe he created the um the Jewish board um on then it was called Jewish board for for the um and the famous letter with the says um not the cultum but the cultum special was to him to Dr wils in a letter addressing one of these one of these first conferences late so it's a series of letters starting the late 70s into the early early early 880s so so the the the sensitivity around the language is a 50-year old it's from the Reb 100% theb was way ahead of the game I'm not sure if this is the right place to but I could do a whole another show just on on the's incredible uh outlook on on Special Needs having said that we felt that we're going to bring that ristic component meaning obviously create a community but we're going to start with bringing Rus into the pro into the special needs World giving the children and adults the ability to do tangible mits right so like the first yeah so the first thing that we did we started we took over in the summer and we got the programs up running in the first family event was the family hakus oh wow giving children and adults the ability to come and celebrate hus hakus in any show especially in night it's could be a little uh overwhelming a little overwhelming slightly um and so we I mean this this is going to be our 13th or 14th year of doing it we started our first year was in the lobby of the Jewish children museum uh then we moved to the bab the small Hall and now we take on now we take over the full Hall of the Baba wow the 11 and them incredible they push off ding to give us Push by to opportunity to it's a quick um very conscious hakus but at that first hakus one of our fral fathers who usually would go and his wife convince him to come and take their special needs boy talk office he went around that night from to wherever he was going he said tonight and that's how we named from there we started our weekly show and we named our show and this family the family a year and a half later in honor of their son to our show which we we read from every W this is but it started from that one thing the effort was to a demographic that was UN un unserved wow they they were served but they were served in very like in a fir in a fir yeah capacity fir capacity they were completely overlooked obviously there were certain schools and teaching Alas and C but as far as giving them opportunity to shine within their own communities to give them faans to give them things that that that any other boy and girl growing up in cron Heights would would be able to tap into that didn't exist and that's where it started and now it's obviously way past that but I pass that it's way beyond that so this was a pivot a little bit but back to the point was was saying about um how it started just as as programs but really you asking about how it's much more than just um well I'm asking specifically not necessarily about the programs I'm asking in addition to the programs but I'm asking beyond the child and Beyond the volunteer there's a there's an ecosystem here that that I think people might might not not know about so I guess building on that concept of community we really worked hard to create that for the mothers to know each other for the families to know each other for them to be able to lean on each other for support um for us to be involved in their lives we really we try to be involved every step of the way um and to be connected to each of the families um when a new family joins Friendship Circle I go to the house and I sit down with a mother and of course I tell her about everything that Friendship Circle can offer the family but tell me more about you what's your family going through how are your other kids um adapting to this new child in the family or to this diagnosis how are they managing how are you managing and I think from all of this um we've built this strong sense of community and from that um I think this is where we say like what we expected to do at Friendship Circle versus what we're actually doing at Friendship Circle years later um is when you're involved in someone's life when you're involved with a family your care and your love and your concern for them is so much bigger than just this one child of course we're there for the child but the siblings come into play a marriage comes into play um and the connection now we H that we have with families should just give you one example um um at the beginning of the summer barl got a phone call from a Friendship Circle father who said my sixth grade son wasn't accepted into summer camp he's sitting at home he's doing nothing for the summer what can I say to him to convince him and this is a mainstream child attending a mainstream Yeshiva it's not healthy for him to be at home for two months and he called barl to say can you advise me who can I speak to what can I do how can I repair my relationship with this child and if you think about it it has nothing to do with Friendship Circle but because they're part of our community we did everything we can and thank God he's in a camp this summer um because we care for for the whole family unit so in in these conversations that you guys have with with the family with the parents with the siblings H how are people doing loaded question right um I don't want it to look like special needs families are struggling sure um I'm always nervous about giving stories because it's it's not a reflection of the special needs Community well essentially what I'm asking is you have there's a family which is obviously dedicating a large amount of their resources to a specific child or a specific yeah child or two or whatever it may be doing the best that they can and really with Incredible intentions and wonderful people but limited resources and limited time in the day to to be there for everybody who needs them to be there for them yeah people are spread really thin um we see also from volunteer engagement that I think it's a CommunityWide challenge that many people are struggling with now um life is just so hard sometimes um people are spread thin people don't have enough resources to tap into or or forget about resources simply time in the day or or enough people it really does take a village to raise any child to raise you know to do right by any sure a Friendship Circle father just said to me like none of our children can ever be loved and ever be supported enough even for my own children I know that's true for sure when you have a teacher that like really understands your child and really shows that they care about your child it's gold Game Changer right um so we see it across the board in the community that people are so Friendship Circle is it's safe to say it's it's it's beyond the child with special needs there's a family element there's the the the family unit you know your your call your the calls that you get are not let's just say they're not limited to you know can I can we help me recruit a volunteer to play with my child with special needs once a week it's far beyond that way beyond that right as a community in Crown Heights there's a you know I'll take you know Disneyland for an exam as an example I think their slogan is the happiest place on earth or I I don't remember what other amusement park I might be forgetting now but there's some sort of slogan of a place for everyone I'm curious if Crown Heights and I have nothing negative to say about Crown Heights it's been home for me for years and I will always consider at home it's where I was raised and I attribute so much of what I am today to the crowns Community I'm wondering though if today there really is a place for everyone in Crown Heights short answer no I think there's two-part answer a two-part short answer is the short answer I would I would imagine is there can be yeah I think that's a good way to put it there can be there can be the long answer is not really I would imagine we have a really large number of children that go to school outside of Crown Heights on The Daily um it hurts me that there's no place for them in our community I'm not talking about special needs children just children that need extra support um when it came to Lug bomo parade you know it's a big to-do in Crown Heights everyone should belong everybody everybody's marching with their class there's people that are missing out on these community wide celebration and who are these children marching with yeah um they're missing out yff when everyone's coming to Shaw they may not know the other kids there because they're not in class with them um Barn boss Mitzvah yeah that's a good one you know the typical Bar Mitzvah BS Mitzvah has your 20 30 classmates who are the life of the party and some people might not have that yeah right but I mean the shorter answer let's go back to the short answer the short answer is there when I ask the question is there a place for everyone in Crown Heights I think we all agreed that there can be I'm really hopeful that time is definitely improving things like the same way when we took over people were asking us questions like why do you even need Friendship Circle here how many people is it even catering to like the lack of understanding was so big what would you say it comes down to if you said that if you confident stood up on a my on a Podium and said right now the answer to the question is there a place for everyone is know but there absolutely can be provided that we do X Y and Z what does that look like um listen more hear from people what they're going through um I'm sure that people are part of shes part of neighborhoods within Crown Heights you know active blocks whatever it is I don't remember where I saw it but somebody said once I believe I read it somewhere there's a difference between a neighborhood and a community a neighborhood is a cluster of homes with close proximity to one another and a community is a community yeah and you don't have to live next to one another to be a community you don't have to right you know it's not it's you're not limited by the people who are closest with you geographically a community supersedes where you are on the map yeah so I think there's two things I think there on one hand there's always going to be a need for need beyond what the schools any school even schools out of cranite specialized schools there's a reason why every year every couple of years another school with a unique twist is created because times are changing children are changing and the idea of is is and and the world is changing and therefore how the the needs has to be has to be catered to are let's talk about The Catered for a second I'm sorry to cut you off because what that tells me is that when we say there can be somebody needs to get up and say you know what status quo is not working let's change things let's do more there are people and I that's what I'm seeing I'm seeing that whether it's parents being just fed up with with their children just coasting or or not not realizing their full potential or somebody noticing that a neighbor is struggling and you know maybe if we did if we put these resources in place it would put them in a better position to thrive right I growth there's for sure growth in this way there's also more communities that are popping up within Crown Heights people are taking care of each other people are looking out for each other yeah that's that's what I to say that that on one hand there's always going to be the need the evolving need and the status quo won't be good enough for whatever the new whatever whatever the specific yeah I believe we'll always be playing catch so so therefore what we need to do as a community not as a community as individuals we all every single one of us has to be a contributing member Community only works when everyone is contributing doesn't mean you have to be a millionaire to contribute right famous V if you know alive teach alive you don't need to be a millionaire you don't need to be a professional special needs world you don't need to professional in education you just need to be there there be present yeah notice what your neighbor's going through notice what your relatives going through just notice and and and your perspective is that obviously there's more that can be done but that's happening yeah we've definitely seen a massive change like even I know we're part of a Barrel's class sh and years ago like the responsibility so so to speak of taking care of a certain family um we would feel like a tremendous you know sense of responsibility to now the Shaws are stepping in more and saying hey when this mother has a baby we're going to take care of meals from her if that child's in hospital we're going to help that family with rides for sure yeah well that I mean it feels it feels nice to hear that it really does um hold on there's there are there are incredible organizations in grites whole oh God forbid no this is not in the no I know no I'm just saying is and the organizations are also evolving but one of the one of the greatest ways that the organizations evolve is when individuals even call us and say okay I know there's a need and it needs to be filled can you help me facilitate it or what can I do to so we're not able to do everything if if someone calls us and says I I noticed something what can I do to help in that you area we're stretched in but now we have a new Ally That's able to help us do that so I'll challenge you guys for a second and I'm sorry for putting you on the spot but think if you will of an instance where you were forced to to to do that or to to think a little bit you know you see somebody crossing a street and you don't see just the person crossing the street you see something beyond that and it sprung you guys into action if you don't mind um not you're saying not on Friendship Circle necessarily just on a personal um walking down the street and seeing a certain boy riding his bike down Kingston Avenue at 1:00 p.m. right seeing him again a few days later you know he's literally on my route two and from work he should be at school he should be in school so calling the principal of the school that I think he goes to and saying it's not my business but like I noticed him out of school a lot is he being taken care of is someone looking out for him right cuz and in that case was somebody not looking someone was it's obviously a tricky situation but um the more you know we've called schools about saying you know does this boy have a coat my son's friend is at my house he doesn't have a coat it's the middle of winter rid yeah like I'm not going to ask him I don't want to embarrass him but calling the school calling the teacher saying hey do sure the ball was rolling and and and the schools are incredible today especially the schools are incredible Partners In this case the case with the coats within a few days the teach the the principal got involved the whole family got new coats right um so this is not this is not a this is not a problem of being passive and or being uninterested this is just it takes more people yeah you know more everybody can do as much as they can and while there's great people out there doing incredible things there needs to be more great people doing more incredible things in order for everybody to be taken care of because there are so many incredible organizations right so there's this notion that we all me included on in my boat but we all fall into okay there's an issue I'm sure they they they have this taken care of because there's no relation for that right now the thing is sometimes when a friend or a neighbor is going through something they might may not even have the capacity to make that phone call and or they might even know about that resource they might even know about it just because you know about it right we have seen that we've seen that we what would I call that organization for how can they help me of course you should be in with them of course you should reach out let's put you in TCH with each other is that I mean let's let's so just take back just hi into Friendship Circle so uh a big part of how when we do evolved at this point we have someone on staff fulltime that our job is literally just that to Family Family Support family calls or we know a family is going through something to reach out besides checking in on them who can we hook you up with who can we put you in touch with what organization what what what need can we can we can we take care of you today you kids need extra toys because you're spending too much time in the hospital no problem you need what whatever it might be if we're not it's not under our purview to take care of it we know who to go to and that sense of community that our families have not just with us but with the families at large I mean they don't have to call us and tell something's going wrong someone will let us know another family that has a child in their a kid's class will call us and say by the way my neighbor has or my son has a kid on his bus they both go to the same school and I notice that the kid is late every day whatever maybe check up on the family right he comes late to school is everything okay right so we'll have either or or the other girls in the office make a call and try to find out what's going on and what we can do to to ease that uh ease that new adjustment in their life do you think do you believe that as a community we're doing enough for the bers It's never enough what' you say the b is Never Enough right I mean if you had that was a bad question but if there was let let me phrase it differently if there was if you had the opportunity to challenge the community to step up to the plate in a certain regard something that you know if you told me that I could be kinder to my neighbor or that I could be a little bit more cognitive I could I could be a little bit more cognizant of when somebody's I would take that it's obviously true I I do the best that I can and I'm sure everybody could say that but if you could just level with the Crown Heights community and say Here's Where we can really really make a difference what would that look like be active what do you mean by that life is so chaotic and busy and you know men and women everyone's working and everyone's you know all consumed by taking care of their family and taking care of their jobs um but the human element of taking care of each other we can step out on we can become active we can look out for people we can say oh he used to come to SCH every week and now he hasn't been coming essentially it's instead of looking like that it's just broadening your scope a little bit to increase your peripheral a little bit see your neighbors see your your your friends kids your kids friends stuff like that I think a lot of people are nervous about like overstepping or it's not my business but what we find nine times out of 10 when you show that you care and you show up for somebody else your good intention is seen and so so so appreciated you know we get we get calls um from say classmates of oh not me fin will get a call um our classmates just had a child special needs what can we as a class what can we do how do we how do we talk to them we want to be there for them what we say I want to say do we say m uh do we say your child looks adorable everyone has no everyone's unsure of themselves and therefore nine times out of 10 nothing get they'll just they'll just avoid the person for a year and a half see in Kings Avenue see her in K Avenue look the other way I'll ask about the other kids because I'm not going to avoid you completely you know but so and it puts everyone uncomfortable situation and this person just needed to hear something something literally MC T how are you feeling yeah if you're uncomfortable asking about the child ask about how the mother is feeling how the father's feeling there's a beautiful story about the reiton how she had a connection with a woman who for many years and then this woman eventually gave birth to a baby with Down syndrome and the woman says that the riton hardly ever asked me about my child she always asked me how are you she wanted to know she knows that all the doctors and all the therapists are taking care of my child she knew that no one else was taking care of me wow so she just asked how she was doing yeah how are you wow I think I think that's one of the most common things that we get from our our families is their own family sometimes and I'm not blaming anybody because it is uncomfortable and it is and it is awkward and it is unsure I was saying before was you're better off saying something and saying maybe something is the wrong thing than saying nothing right because we're human beings we all want to be we all want to be noticed noticed and validated and and you know and and cared for wow um notice expound your peripherals expound your peripherals let's let's go back to Friendship Circle for a few minutes if you don't mind first of all congratulations on on the incredible building purchase that's very exciting news it's very exciting it probably I would imagine would kick off an incredible incredibly bright and even more bright and vibrant future for Friendship Circle yes what does the future look like in the short term and probably possibly even a little bit beyond it looks amazing um it's very bright the future um we dream all day of what can be what will be um and our community needs a center and this is going to be a place of unconditional love for everyone that walks through the door for our families for our volunteers and trust me our volunteers need it these days as well for sure um it's going to be literally a community center um our short-term plan is we're going to have multiple sensory rooms our sh our offices um a kitchen we can do cooking baking um a social hall which can which will be used for multiple programs um and then we're going to be also also be having a volunteer Lounge um and longterm um God willing we hope to put up a seven floor building um swimming pools gym pool swimming pool a gym multiple swimming pools sure we're what we're the name we're using now and M for the future is a center a center for family and friends it's not a center for children with special needs it's a community center right also different than other community was it important for you guys to make that distinction yeah it was very natural because it's so obvious when you say Friendship Circle that this is going to be for the special needs child this is our focus and this is what we're here for but like you said we built yeah mother support groups father support groups this year we ran four different sibling support groups um different ages different ages yeah boys girls having a center like this is just going to enable us to grow in amazing amazing ways and connect more be there more for everyone but besides for the programs that that that we have already running and the programs we have planned just in the immediate future and M once the center is built besides for the the children and families that have children special needs the community are larger as opposed to most community centers that are built for the community and they also have you know the makeing idea compliance so it's also right this is It's Community Center centered around the children's special needs and everyone else is coming to celebrate them as opposed to and it'll be amazing can be I mean I mean cus we have but like I'm seeing you guys are so excited feet is just is just the beginning you have the money $30,000 well that's actually a good segue talk to me about Ian the money is not flying at you it's not flying at anybody nobody everybody's anybody who thinks that they just start doing something and the money will flow to them is delusional you know you have to actually put you need that delusion to start you need you probably have to have the right mix of delusion sure but the fundraising effort I'm sure it takes up a lot of your time a lot of your energy a lot of your brain space I'm curious how this recent pivot in projections and what the future will hold has perhaps changed the it's no secret people are struggling it's hard right now it's a hard time now and especially you know for people who are for people to have extra money but are is there passion is there excitement in the fundraising World surrounding yeah the Friendship Circle bu the the the friends and family center I believe that most people by now understand that having Friendship Circle in our community is a real blessing to our community right because everyone's gaining from it and everyone's learning from it you have your sisters I I've learned so much just from this conversation it it's it's an organization that can involve so many different types of people um it's I me think about it every year between the the BAM and the girls that volunteer and the FR families we have a direct connection with probably about six probably 600 and a thousand families every year in konits now compound compound that every year right um so so our reach literally is everywhere and the long-term effect of of of that is is tremendous I actually I I meant to bring that up earlier I think we got sidetracked that's an interesting point about you know if there's a family with a a three-year-old child who gets visited every week by a volunteer from Friendship Circle and that goes on for eight years nine years 10 years you're talking about seven eight nine 10 different volunteers who not only have a connection with this child and are part of his life and the family's life probably a part of each other's lives probably a part of your lives and The Compound Effect is is incredible it's it's it's every it's 600 to a th000 families every year and that number is growing and the the number of volunteers is growing I I think I mean I I wouldn't be shocked if it's in the tens of thousands as far as you know impact and Impressions from from I mean think about it 10 years 13 years as far as you guys are concerned but 13 years of of relationships with 13 individual people or possibly with 10 individual people eight individual people that are all giving him a call on his birthday or sending him a sh one of our friendship Circle boys became Bar Mitzvah and the mother called us and she said could you send me contact information for all the Bak that visited him from literally when he was 3 years old till today that's 10 years of volunteers so about 20 20 guys um send me all their contact information CU we wouldn't be where we are right now without all of them and she really felt that deep connection to each pair and she wanted to invite them like come join me for my Simka now it was their Sim it was everybody's 100% I think one of the beautiful things about this organization is that you see a lot of organizations where there's the directors and even the staff and then there's the community that they're working with um one incredible thing that we have is that every year we have over 200 volunteers that are going out to the to the community and spreading the love and the acceptance and the mission of Friendship Circle throughout the community and they're literally like foot soldiers going around and spreading the spreading the joy of Friendship Circle and then then they come home from their visit and they bring their Joy back to their own home and their whole family now is affected so it's if we were just running this organization on our own we wouldn't be able to have this effect and this impact on the entire Community but because we have such a high number of volunteers that are engaged the effect and the impact is tremendous I'll put you guys on the spot if you'll bear with me for a minute and we can wrap up with this but I'll ask you guys you guys some one possibly one more than the other I'm not I haven't really figured that out yet but your forward thinkers and and your dreamers and and you know you see a little bit beyond you know when you see a building you're thinking shortterm and you're thinking seven floors with possibly multiple swimming pools um what would you like to see you know we've talked a lot about what goes on in the Friendship Circle on a daily basis a lot that some of our viewers and listeners might not know some that I I'm learning for the first time and I hope the Crown Heights community and far beyond are you know they have their eyes opened a little bit more after the after hearing all of this but what's something that you guys are not doing today that you would like to tackle or you would like to do more of um our dream is to open a special needs laich camp for children and adults with special needs to give them an opportunity summer camp a summer camp wow a winter camp um and to give our teenagers an opportunity to volunteer at these camps this would be lifechanging this is like next level engagement um have you ever said this publicly before um probably not mik drop moment well there you have it fellas um what would that look like shabas withon with this is their upbringing this is what they're seeing at home this is happens and it's being commemorated you know yeah volunteering one hour a week throughout the year is incredible living with somebody I we won want to camp we'll know what it does for for the kids the counsel and so on so obviously for the children being in a in a in an environment that they're that they that they know best through the summer incredible now take that now do what do do for the B for the girls imagine I I we visit campas every we visit a lot of lot of smaller camps um where where where the children f c are you visit them every summer yeah yeah and we need to check on that um one of the one of the biggest things that we walk out with every year is look what the staff are gaining it's incredible and a lot of the camps you know campas is a great camp but the staff is mixed and therefore they're not getting that authentic no no therefore a lot of the bagers aren't going to go there as that right um but but if you know if we do it and we do it you know our way so to speak um theun for for the kids and for the and for the volunteers for the counselors and and would be Beyond this is only one idea right we have a lot more what would you what would you need to make this happen besides for a ton of money that's number one right um that's it I just want to say one thing very very important I think would be remiss you know we didn't mention it and discuss it serving the's children in and we've seen Beyond we have we have we went through terrible Financial Times and we went through other challenging times and we know no question about it that the rebba is is is p not just dragging us out it's pushing us forward so what do we need whatever we need we know we have we have the sometimes that BR are in your pocket but no but for real these like when I we when we write our we have at this point our staff every every Friday every Thursday and we we try get it over to the O before Shas um first even for us internally it's such an incredible thing just to see what you quantify yeah what we're doing it's like every week delivering four or five pages of of of of programs and projects and and initiatives Rel relationships is incredible um that's so obviously there there's that idea but sorry saying what do we need to make this possible oh no stop I I I think oh I write and I write to the every single week I write where where we have to run the V circle of and every single time I write it I get that same chills run down my back there's nowhere no I mean obviously we couldn't have known this earlier at this point there's no place I'd rather be nothing nothing else we'd rather be doing we've seen theas personally for the and it's just the beginning and and with everyone's help with everyone else's Pockets um no I mean the the dreams we have um I have no doubt that at some point all of these things will happen I have no doubt about it I was I was telling someone about our Dream for step two of our property right so now we're going to be using it for one thing but this is this is what stage two is going to look like and she said to me like how are you going to do it I said you know what according to Nature I don't know but according to Nature we also wouldn't be where we're holding now like all that Flack and all that discouragement that we got in the beginning how are we here today almost in spite of it yeah right so like the same way that we manag to get here we're also going to manage to get there and you firmly believe that yeah not manage yeah we believe that W because we need it CR it's true there is no other option like we have to support our families we have to give children with special needs a place in our community the way we do it through you know volunteer engagement it's it's such a blessing to everyone well I know that I very much enjoyed our conversation I hope our viewers and listeners did as well and thank you for joining us thank you for opening up however uncomfortable or comfortable that was I appreciate it and I'm sure that and I'm sure I I hope that our listeners and viewers can take some inspiration from this and be a positive impact in their Community thank you [Music] n