🎙️ Episode 21: Daniel Refaelovitz — You Don’t Need All the Answers. You Need a Mentor

Imagine you're 19, new to America, no money, no plan. You're flipping chicken cutlets, you smell like oil, you're just trying to survive. Fast forward a few years, you're running an e-commerce company doing $40 million a year. That's Daniel Rafalitz, a story about not letting your starting line define your finish. This week on Jewish Grit. [music] >> [music] >> I'm here today with Daniel Rafaelitz all the way from Florida. Thank you so much for making the trek >> and for joining us today. >> And I'm really excited to hear what I have a feeling is going to be a very fascinating personal story and professional story. So I want to start when you were 19. You're 19 years old. you're living in Israel and then for whatever the reason is somehow you decide to move to the United States. Take us into that moment where you were at in your life and and how do you how do you start? What do you do? >> It was I remember it was very very scary. The fear of unknown for me until today is like the hardest level of fear like and the fear of unknown kind of lit a spark within me. I remember I came I landed I knew that I don't really have who to rely upon. uh back then my my my faith in in God was nowhere what it is today. So that whole concept and idea didn't even cross my mind and I thought I was God in the driver's seat at all times and therefore I had to rely on myself and I felt like I didn't know anything. I landed in a foreign place and I started working at a cell phone store on 13th Avenue which is the main avenue over there. um the amount of money I was making and the conclusion that I reached very quickly of what I need in order to live here in this country, it just didn't add up and didn't make any sense. So, I was very very depressed and I I was kind of losing, you know, my hopes. At one point, I got fired because my head really wasn't in the job because I guess lesson number one to learn is is that, you know, if I'm already doing something, I might as well like it. If I don't like it, it's felt very, very quickly. And you know the dynamics change. Uh from there I was kind of let me just go back to Israel or maybe one last shot. I started working in you know a schnitle place in Brooklyn as well. Coney Island Avenue Schnitzy. I remember coming home every day you know smelling like fried chicken and it was very very depressing and it was very very hard work and the pay there was very very little and I I really didn't know what to do at that point. I said already what I'm going to go back home like a loser. I came to America. I have to conquer the American dream. A lot of a lot of Hashem holding my hand because I met a very nice gentleman in the most random place at the most random time who actually owned a very big and successful company around the corner from where we're sitting here in the financial district of Manhattan on 80 Broad Street. and he hired me and he gave me a chance uh even though he knew from the beginning that I had zero qualifications uh for what his company was doing and what he needed an employee for but I guess he saw the fire the spark within me that I was willing to do uh whatever it takes you know in order to really succeed and it's beautiful because I do the same thing today with how I hire I'm very unorthodox you know I have a company today thank god we have over 40 employees and And I would say that 90% of my hires are very unorthodox hires that paid dividends in the most profound way. Meaning 85% of my company has been with me almost since day one. And I've been doing what I've been doing I think already close to 15 years. So I think that speaks volume. The idea of people versus their resume [snorts] or credentials and and all of that stuff. So, um, that's pretty much how 19 began and how, you know, the fire ignited within me and I guess that was really the driving force kind of if I'm not going to take care of myself, who will? And that really led to one thing to the next. >> Can we fast forward today? You have a company with uh 40 people. What do you do? >> So, I'm in the e-commerce and wholesale space. I would say majority of my business today is e-commerce. We specialize in selling on Amazon. We're a top seller on Amazon, top 1% actually. Our company does around $35 million a year in revenue. Um we we sell um at this point almost every possible category pretty much except electronics and we try to partner up with top tier brands and become their exclusive retail partner when it comes to Amazon. And now we're expanding to other channels as well like Walmart, Sheen >> and yeah, so we're we're very we're pretty big in the e-commerce space. >> Knowing what you know now, bunch of years later where you're sitting, what do you wish that you knew then? >> The answer is so clear. H if I would have a good mentor from day one, um my life would be so much different. Not that I regret anything that happened, but I went through extremely difficult hardships. I've reached rock bottoms in almost every area of my life, probably in every single area of my life. And if I only had a person who I can trust and I can rely upon and know that they have what I want and it's a safe space for me to come and to keep, you know, picking their brain, I would be today. Again, I don't even know where I would be, but that definitely would be for me uh the number one lifesaver. And honestly, today I really try very hard to invest at least 15 uh 20% of my day is on the phone with people in all walks of life who I found them, they found me, who are struggling in one or another area that I've struggled. And I really give them my all. And there's really nothing more rewarding than that. Like I'll literally leave uh a team meeting because someone is calling me four times in a row and I really know he needs my help and it's just going to be about trying to hold his hand and giving him guidance. >> What do you tell somebody who's like in a really bad spot? Like they've hit rock bottom. That's a strong way of saying it. Like what do you tell them? How do you encourage a person like that? >> I try to smile, a big smile which is genuine and real. And I tell them, listen, I want you to hear something now. You may not understand it this minute. But you're going to understand it very soon. And today is really the happiest day of your life because once we reach bottom, there's nowhere lower to go. And that means from this second and on, we're only climbing upwards. Yeah, it's going to be difficult. It's going to be hard. But you are ready to climb. And there's nothing more beautiful than that. And that usually works. You know, I wish people would tell me that. So it's just so simple and easy. Like easier said than done, of course, but that's that's that's the truth. What do you do when you find yourself in a situation where you feel like God should have come through in one way or another and and he didn't? >> Meaning that I really really relied upon a certain salvation and it ended up not happening. That's it's very painful. So I today for me it's very important to sit in the pain because I my whole life majority of my life I was very professional at escaping pain. So today I first of all sit and I remind myself you know feelings come feeling go and pain comes and pain go and after pain comes joy and it's fine and just sit sit sit once I sat and I feel like I sat enough I go I meditate for maybe 2 hours some music and I just you know it's move on also very important and I guess it's also part of you know having a good mentor which I do thank God meaning I have friends it says right make yourself a rabbi make yourself a best friend thank god I have today a few very best friends and I I don't hold things in so I I get on the phone, I I bring it out to the light and then it's like, you know, rebounding, getting up, brushing it off and moving on, onwards and upwards, like they say. >> What happened or at what point in your journey did you realize that you're not maybe you're sitting in the front seat, but you're not in the driver's seat? >> Yeah. So, for me, CO I think like for many others was a a massive g gift and catalyst in my you know, healing and and recovery journey. Uh, you know, I was like many other people in the world forced to stay home. At that point I was married, three kids, living, you know, in a beautiful house, beautiful community, amazing business, money. I had everything I wanted and beyond. Way above I ever could dream of. I was so uncomfortable. I was antsy and I was dying to just run away cuz I was running my whole life and there was nowhere to run even if I really wanted to. [snorts] And that level of pain really caused, you know, the first bottom out of many to occur and from there on that's really when, you know, my life really has changed. Has your definition of what success means changed since you were 19 until today? >> Yeah. Wow. Uncomparable. There's no like definition of success is being able to go to sleep every night and scanning my day quickly and making sure that I was the best version of myself, even a tiny bit better than the day before. And if you know, God forbid there was a hiccup or something small, you know, I'm human and and I'm not an angel. is make note following day to, you know, text a person, call them up, and really continuously building off of that. >> When I when I when I think about you hiring people who are out of the box, like you said before, not necessarily with college degrees, what what's that one that one ingredient that you're looking for that you know they're going to be successful? Uh for me the number one ingredient ingredient is someone that appreciates the idea that they're coming into a company to manage their business within the business. So there's no clock in clock out style or I'm your boss, you're my employee or anybody's anybody's boss or anybody's employee. It's really coming in to building you know your business within the business and collabing and working in peace and harmony with all the other team members. So I try to find people that I know for sure are not the type of people that need to be monitored by by a boss. You know, sadly the workforce is probably divided. I don't know if it's 50/50, but you have people that only can strive if they have a boss on their head. So those type of people naturally it's not going to work for us. the ones who really want the freedom to work remote. Way before even COVID began, we were doing remote working because I felt like work where your environment feels best for you. And thank God, you know, it ends up working out very very well. And and then I think of course really having respect like not I I never in my life requested anyone in my workforce to make me a cup of coffee. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. It's just and and again I enjoy good things in life and I used to enjoy them much more but I'm saying for me it felt like I want to be the one making them coffee. I'm definitely not going to ask them to make me coffee. >> Now how do you when you're meeting with that fellow how do you or that person how do you know that they have this or don't have this? >> So for me I do it really in an unorthodox way. I like to you know send them a text message at maybe a later time of of the evening to see when they'll respond back, how they'll respond back. I'm going to send them like two questions that you know if the answer is a very blanket yes no then I know already they're lacking something you know I have all all sorts of different ways and then of course I like meeting them several times in the beginning you know speaking with them on the phone and then of course I like to introduce them to different people within my organization and I encourage everyone to be an open book and to share all the information and everything and then I like to monitor and to see how they're interacting how they're following up and then you know slowly but surely it seems like it's a good fit and nine out of 10 times it works and sometimes, you know, there's that one that surprises us all, but it is what it is. It's another lesson from from God. >> Many of our viewers, many of our listeners are people who are just starting their career or they're looking for their first big break or their first job. What would you tell them? What's the best thing for them to focus on on an interview in their first few months at the job? What do you think is going to help them be successful? The number one thing that would make someone to be successful in my opinion is someone who asks a lot of questions. And the more the better. And even if it's stupid questions and I say this all the time to people who are new in our company and I say I want you to text me as much as you want. I want you to call me as much as you want. I want you to ask me as much questions possible. The more you know it's the better for you. The better it's for you. The better it's for me. I think naturally uh people who own companies who really care about their company and when it comes to you know new employees who are trying to work their way up, the more you see that they care and they want to learn more and they ask questions slowly but surely those questions become more and more interesting questions and then all of a sudden they can come and they can share you know ideas and then there's you know plenty of of of growth opportunities. I'm also a big fan of the idea if I'm coming into a new company now and I'm recognizing that there's a certain opportunity that's not being it nobody's taking advantage of it at the moment really coming to the boss or to the owner and say listen um you know I apologize in advance maybe this is not my territory but I've noticed that you know this situation is going on and nobody's really taking care of it and if you would be open to it I would love maybe to put it under my wing and then you know before you know it h there's crazy amount of growth and expansion and the sky starts to become the limit. That's as far as you know employee boss relations. If you're asking about someone who wants to be let's say an entrepreneur and begin his his own business for me I feel and I see it until today people who call me in a respectful way. Not that I'm trying to be a person who wants to be respected but sometimes there's people who just send you open-ended text messages. So I'm not prioritizing to answer it because I have to now, you know, invest a lot of effort to understand what he's even saying. But many times people reach out and say, "Hey, Daniel, I'm starting a business, you know, in e-commerce and I know you have a pretty solid company or whatever the compliment may be or even if it's not a compliment and I would really love to pick your brain." I always respond to those messages. I always get on the phone with them and I'll always share with them everything I have and I'll always tell them the same thing and I'm a huge believer in it. you go forward full force. Every time you're stuck, reach out to me and I will try to help you. >> That's very beautiful. As someone who spent part of his life in Israel and part of his life in the United States, um, did October 7th hit you in a different way than other people, you think? >> October 7, so you know, it's interesting. October 6th, we were in Israel and for years we go for sukus and simas to Israel. And I was still married at the time. And I remember my wife at the time said for the first time ever, let's go back this year to America for Simra cuz we're part of you know a nice young growing sh and the kids are always pretty lost in Israel simra and she wanted them you know to feel more connected. So we left, you know, the night before and of course, you know, we we went to to to to to synagogue shul in in Miami Beach and and heard like the rest of the world and I couldn't even imagine it. Like I grew up in Israel, you know, in times where unfortunately there was a lot of, you know, bombings and and and the inifat and all of that stuff. And October 7th really for me it, you know, I I always say this and I think many people say, right, like live one day at a time, day by day. There's no other way. I really live every day now like like it's the only day. Nothing else matters because again and I really try very hard to double down with my relationship with God. And the more I double down on it and I feel like I'm holding his hand, I feel he holds mine and then it just makes it so much easier walking in this, you know, crazy world and crazy times that sadly we're living in right now. You know, I try to pray more. I try to learn more. I've definitely become, you know, more religious and my my, you know, the way how I observe, you know, shabas and and kosher and learning. Definitely I've done a tremendous amount of improvement since October 7th and I I feel like every Jew out there has been doing the same and I think that's really really beautiful. >> What makes you most proud to be a Jew? >> What makes me most proud to be a Jew is my kids. um they're doubling down on that and the amount of uh phone calls I get to hear what they're doing and how proud of a Jew they are. Um I'm I'm everything that we have the Torah that we have, you know, the ultimate guide book to be sane in the most unsane world. >> It's a lot to be proud of. >> It's I wouldn't take anything else. I mean, thank thank you, Hashem, for the opportunity to be a Jew. >> You're one of our youngest guests so far. What are your dreams? So what are your goals and aspirations for next decade? >> Uh my dream is to continue growing in Torah. I've started learning Gumara almost a year already. I really broke my my teeth to you know to even understand it and to start tasting the taste that it has to offer. And I'm really enjoying it uh so much. Like thank God today I have the ability to start every morning and and be in in synagogue for around two and a half hours between learning and praying. and only after that I I start my day. So my dream really would be uh to to try to help as much people possible you know based on sharing my own past experiences and I love connecting between people and I love learning and and growing in in Torah. So if I would be able to dedicate my full day or most of my day by just having an office that dedicates itself to really helping people based on you know experiences and and knowledges that I've accumulated. I think for me that would be the biggest dream to accomplish. >> So forget the e-commerce. >> Yeah. I'll you know I'll hand it off to my employees. >> That's fantastic. Well, I want to really thank you for coming and participating and I want to give you a blessing that your dreams should come true. >> Amen. >> Thank you so much. I I feel that this was a very real and genuine conversation and I appreciate you sharing it and I hope that many people who watch this and view this uh gain like we say strength and uh if someone wants to reach out to you, can I connect with you? >> Absolutely. It sounds like that's what you want to do anyways. >> Yeah, for sure. Yeah. >> Fantastic. Thank you so much. Have a safe trip back to Florida. >> Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. >> Thank you for listening to Jewish Grit, an Oly mentorship podcast. At Oly Mentorship, we believe that everyone needs a mentor. What better way is there to tap into your personal and professional potential than with a Jewish mentor at your side. Learn more at oli.org/mentorship. Don't forget to keep listening on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.