🎙️ Episode 20: The Woman Who Has Lived Two Lives - Maya Namdar

Imagine you're building a thriving career in the fashion industry. You are at the top of your game professionally and personally, and then a knock at the door at 2 a.m. completely changes your life. Maya Nandar shares her powerful raw story of loss, faith, and hope, and how she chose life despite all that had happened to her. This week on Jewish Grit. [music] >> [music] >> Thank you so much for joining us today. >> Thank you for having me. >> Can you share a little bit about who you are, what you do? >> Who am I? I am Maya Namdar. Um I run a business, a clothing business. We manufacture. We have an online business. We're are wholesalers of women's um modest wear. >> And what's it called? >> Maya's Place. It's my place. >> And what kind of clothing do you sell? It's ladies modest wear, casual basics, literally stuff that I'm lacking in my closet. It's what ends up going into production. I'm like, we need this. And that's really how the business also started. It was there was a lack in my closet as I was becoming more religious and I was starting to keep modesty. I remember at the time my dad was in the field as well. So, he would help me like produce a little bit, but I would tell him like specific things that I needed. Before you knew it, I was selling out of my home in my basement. Where can people purchase Ma's Place >> online? Um, and in stores. Um, we are at American Dream at the address. I have a store in the five towns. I have a store in Great Neck and we wholesale, so different modest shops across the US. >> Was your father in the schmatza business, in the clothing business? Like, is that how you got into it? >> I actually went to FIT >> and I studied over there fashion buying and merchandising. And at the same time, I was running my dad's stores in the city in Soho and the village and on on Broadway. >> Did you have >> not anything but modest? [laughter] Okay. It was like city vibe. Totally not modest. I was not religious at the time. I wasn't even shar Shabbat at the time. as I was becoming more observant and I wanted to keep a modesty at that time when I started like right now it's like we we we're like whatever we need we can get it like there's so many brands so many vendors and everyone is creating such amazing stuff it's everywhere like it's so easy to keep modesty like now like in our time >> back then there wasn't that much and I remember the struggles and it was at the time that of like you know where we had to layer wear the shell underneath it was I I wasn't I wasn't vibing with that at all, especially with someone that ran stores in the city that weren't that were very cool. Then I went to fit. I was like a cool girl and and like keeping modesty was not. So I had asked my father like I had in mind like a few styles that I had like of skirts and I showed it to him. I'm like, "Can you help me make that?" Because he was in that world of production >> and he made it for me and people from the community were asking me, "Oh, where'd you get that skirt from?" And I said, "Ah, I made it. would you like? Oh, I can sell it to you. Before you knew it, I had a rack in my house. I was selling to literally my friends, girls in the community. And then my basement turned into a full-blown store. The next thing you know, I'm online and then I had to get out of the house. It was getting like really out of hand. So, we got a storefront in Great. And then we started wholesaling. >> So, you built this incredible company. Everybody knows Maya's Place. Like, what did that feel like? >> It was very hard. I I you know I was dealing with you know raising little kids and then having to go to the store and to deal with the business and honestly the business came to a place that it was bringing in like our main income into like the house. So I also had the pressure of like keeping it going. >> Is your husband involved in the company or is it just you? Um my husband is involved in the company since co honestly I am very very very bad in math and all like technical stuff and like banking stuff and like all that stuff. So he took that part so I can stay more in the creative area >> like I'm a more people's person. I'm a more talkative creative and he can more sit with like numbers and books and like excels and all that. So he took care of something that I always disliked. What's it like to work with your husband and that duality of >> business partner [laughter] and life partner? >> It's very hard. We did not plan to work together. It was the situation of what was going on. We ended up being together. So like everything was overlapping. Like I had an opinion on the way he was doing things. He had an opinion on the way I was doing things. It was like we were clashing like a lot in the business. And then one day I said, "Okay, you're going to do you. I'm going to do [laughter] me. I am not going to tell you what to do and you're not going to tell me. It actually taught me also how to delegate better with workers also that came in like if I let go of all that stuff I literally let it go. I don't care how you're creating that Excel. Like I don't care. And you know if I'm creating stuff then it's it's just it's my way. We would ask each other for opinions but at the end of the day it was our decisions. And that also taught me that when workers came in and started working for me that if I trained them and taught them the job I just delegated. like I brought them in to make my life easier. So like don't overstep. Give them the space. >> Right. Let them also make the mistakes. >> Can you share a little bit about Leel and the circumstances? >> For those who don't know, so on December 11, it was 2021, my 15-year-old daughter Lealdina. She was in the five towns area staying by her friend for Shabbat. And um the reason why she went for Shabbat because M Shabbat Saturday night there was a reunion from the camp she went to Camp Sternburg had a reunion and next thing you know we are woken up like around 1:00 in the morning to the doorbell. I run to the window and I see ambulances outside and I see my husband's best friend his his truck outside his pickup truck. And I quickly turn to my husband and I say to him,"Wh is Navtit's car outside with all these ambulances? Like it just doesn't make sense." My husband's like, "I don't know." So he zooms runs downstairs. I run after him. There's a lot of blur right from there's a lot of blackout and blur. But I remember the I think about the last five, six steps. I did not even like run them down. I think I jumped the last five steps. I was on the floor and all I kept hearing is accident. Leel didn't make it. Leel accident. And And I was like screaming, yelling, and basically they were breaking the news to us that there was a car accident. A drunk driver hit the car that Leel was in. And there were five passengers in the car. And out of the five passengers, my daughter Leena was the only one that didn't make it. But that night shifted and completely changed me into a different person. And I'm still changing. Every day I'm changing. But that night was like I keep saying there was there's I had two lives. Like there was the life of before the accident and there was the life after. Your priorities in life changes. The things you worry about in life changes. Your sensitivity to people and the world everything changes. Um I the next few days are a blur. They were like a major blur. Also like I was medicated and there were social workers. There was just so much chaos going on in the house. I just remember like maybe it was after the week of morning of the Jewish morning Shiva that we were all sitting together. I remember I think I saw I think I noticed that my husband was messaging one of the girls from work and I remember saying to him, "I don't know what you're doing, but like Maya's place is like done. Like we're shutting down the business." And he said to me, "Okay." And I said, "No, no, no. You don't you don't understand what I'm saying. I have nothing to do with Maya's place anymore. You're shutting down the business. It's over. I have nothing to do with it. My life just ended. I lost a child. >> I don't care about Maya's place. Like, you don't even have to answer the girls from work. Everything's shut down. Shut it down." He said to me, "Okay." Meanwhile, I have to say I'm very, very, extremely grateful to the team of girls that were working with me at the time because they literally took control of the business and ran it on their own for quite some time because I was out of commission. I was I had I didn't want to do anything with it. Nothing. I remember it must have been close to maybe three weeks after the accident and I haven't gotten out of the house yet. >> Like the the the social worker that would come to the house, she would come every day. She would spend time with me and I remember at one point she just said to me, "Let's take a walk in front of your house. Like just get out of the steps." Like the the most I got out of the house was my back door on my deck. Like I did not get out of the house. And I remember the first time she took me out and we live in a culde-sac. So like she just wanted to do a circle with me. It was one of the hardest thing I had to do like to step out of the house and to just do that walk with her. And then the next day she said to me, "How about we get into the car?" And I said, "Absolutely not. I'm not getting into the car." And she said, "Don't you want to go check up on the store?" And I said, "I don't want to have anything to do with it." She said, "How about we just drive there? Just walk in and walk out. We come back." We just went for some fresh air. And she really tried to convince me like took like, you know, crack me out of my shelter for me to get out of the house. And um I did get into the car. I think my sister came with us as well. And I went with her and my husband came as well. And we all got into the car. And literally my business is 4minute drive from my home. It was a 4-minute drive. And we get to the store and we walk in and I literally walked to the back of the store. I saw the girls. We all started bursting crying and I looked around at the clothes and I was just nauseous and I'm like, I don't want to be here. I I don't want to have anything to do with this business. Like I I came here, I did this, I got out of the house, I got out of the car, now take me back home. And I really appreciate that everyone around me, my family and especially my husband for letting me process and not fight me in a way like you know like on the outside all you kept hearing from people no go back to work you need to like keep yourself busy that's good for you. You need to move on with life and the more people would say that the angrier I would get. I said, "Move on with what life? What life? My life has ended. What are you talking about?" Like, I don't need to keep myself busy. Like, no. Like, it was just I would get very frustrated with the outside noise and comments, but my inner circle, >> my family, immediate family, my husband, my sister, and like everyone close to me, >> just let me be. And I said to them, I want to do nothing. I just want to sit home all day either with a blanket on the couch or in bed crying. And they said, "Okay, that's what you want to do. Go for it." I wasn't stopped from what I had wanted to do. And it was amazing that they just let gave me the space. I processed it and I did it on my own. And eventually within like two months I like I kind of cared and I wanted to see actually I remember it was the first time I wanted to go back on on my Instagram page like I wanted to talk to my community like so many messages were coming in and I felt so embraced by the Instagram community. I I wanted to go on and I wanted to just thank everyone for just supporting me and loving me and just being there for me. And I remember I just did it one day. I took my phone upstairs and like I closed the door and I just filmed myself and I really I was just raw and genuine and just shared what I wanted to share with my community and I posted it and I remember like cringing and just like like I don't want to see like what people are replying back to it. But it turned into so much positivity and like my WhatsApp was exploding and I felt I felt so loved like it was so I don't know it was healing. It felt good. I felt so many people were grieving with me and like it just felt good to put it out there and I just put it I just started putting my pain out there and I had the space for it and the space felt very safe for me >> and eventually >> people then started asking me about stuff like about the business. So like I I replied and then I did care. I wanted to see what was going on with the website. So one day I went to check it and I'm like why is that like that? That should be a little bit different. And so things did shift a lot at work um with my space and my healing and my process and my way of doing things. I did end up going back to work but obviously things have changed. I do work a lot from home now. I guess I kind of like decided to stay in the business also because I chose to see the light and to see that like I'm doing this for Leel. Like I wanted her to be proud of me. Like I always say this. I'm like I want you to be proud of me. I'm doing this for you. Like you love this business so much I'll continue this for you. >> I guess my question for you is is that you know we talked about your business and how it affected your business but how how does tragedy affect your spirituality and your inspiration? I'm a very passionate person about like anything and everything in life. Any project that I do, I'm very passionate about. So when I chose Hashem and I chose this religious world and I chose to be more modest and that's how my, you know, brand company started, I chose Hashem. That means I'm very passionate about Hashem. And even with what Hashem did this, Hashem did this, right? He took Leel. I don't understand. I don't get it. I I get that Hashem is is this greater power way beyond me and beyond this world. It's not that I don't have questions. Of course, I have questions. Why did you do this? But I get it that I don't get it. I I always say the only thing that we all understand in this world and it's a very chaotic world. Like the world like these days doesn't make sense. Like it's an upside down world. Nothing makes sense and we're trying to make sense of it. So I'm like I I don't even make sense of the world. I just say the only thing that we understand is that we don't understand. That's it. So I just live by that line. I understand that I don't understand. I understand that this is beyond me. I understand that there's a reason for why things are happening. And I also understand that once we reach this state of of a redeemed world, this beautiful world, >> like all the answers will be there. >> And I won't need to be angry with Hashem. Then you are standing now in like two crossroads, right? >> And it's just it's it's it's two decisions. It's either you just fall into that pit dark and that dark place is very dark. And you know what? It's the most convenient and comfortable place to be because it's where you are already. And you can be medicated and you can be depressed and you can be in bed and everyone can look at you. Oh, poor little Maya like you know and like you become everyone's like little like you know like project of like let's take care of her or you you rise above that and you actually choose you choose life and when I was at that crossroads I remember where I was. I was sitting on my couch and my family was around me and I verbally basically put it out there and I said I am choosing life. I am choosing to live for Leo and that became >> it's like my mission statement and we put it it's on my necklace my sister made like for all the family members she's like Maya said live for Leel. We're all going to live for Leel. My entire family, my sister-in-laws, my nieces, my daughter, we'll all walk around with a lifel necklace and that is our mission. But I remember sitting on the couch and literally saying to my family, >> I'm choosing life. I'm choosing life because I want to live for Leel. And I know that's what she wants for me. And that also helps me connect to her. When I'm in the dark, I absolutely don't feel her. And it's very hard for me to feel Hashem. But when I'm in the dark and I pull myself out and I ask Hashem for that help, I can feel him helping me get out. But I'm actually doing that work. >> And when I'm actually doing this mission of like redemption, bringing Messiah, like a better life, spreading Leah's light into the world, I feel like I'm just hastening this process. We're just making everything go fast. And at the same time, I see the world is full chaos. I'm like, "This is happening really fast." Like, we're so close. This is really happening. So, I'm I'm just on a mission of choosing life, living full, hanging on to Hashem. I should be angry with him, but I'm not. I love him dearly. It's a very deep lovehate relationship. I am passionately obsessed with him. So, I've had many, many, many, many, many mentors. It depends um for what area and at what stage of my life. you know, like when I was dealing with this whole question of where is my child and I needed answers, I was more like soulsearching. Um, you know, I turned to Rabbi Eton Feiner and he literally in that area, he became my anything he said like he was my mentor. he was my rabbi in that area and you know I followed along with that um with many if it was business I remember like you know turning to other business owners and asking for questions and >> what what advice would you give to a young uh professional who's going into manufacturing marketing their clothing line >> definitely questions people who are in the business and like get into the business like attach yourself to people in the business don't be scared to ask Yeah, >> don't be scared. Like I feel like this is where the greatest knowledge it's not even from school. It's by being in the field experiencing. Don't be scared of mistakes. Mistakes are actually the biggest lessons. The biggest lessons. And don't be scared to ask. >> Maya, this has been an incredible conversation. I want to ask you one last question. >> Sure. >> What makes you proud to be a Jew? The more I watch what's happening in the world and the anti-semitism, I'm just I feel so proud to be of of the Jewish nation of this land and to see how our people always come through, always sticking together. We really we are just a very special tribe. Like you don't see that anywhere. when I see the love and I see for me first of all especially going through something so horrific in my life and to have my Jewish community come forward not just my community my neighborhood I'm talking about Instagram community and I really mean it's social media what they have done for me it's like it's it really is insane like businesses that were following me were sending me boxes that week to the house to like gifts for my children and my husband like letters It was just so much love and you do not see this anywhere else. >> Yeah, >> we're we're very special and I'm very proud of us and who we are and especially in such a dark world. We are such light. We are we are we are very bright light. We are a very bright light and I'm just so proud to be to be us. >> Thank you so much Maya for coming. >> Thank you. Thank you for having me. Thank you. Thank you for listening to Jewish Grit, an Ol mentorship podcast. At OM Mentorship, we believe that everyone needs a mentor. What better way is there to tap into your personal and professional potential than with a Jewish mentor at your side? Learn more at oli.org/metorship. Don't forget to keep listening on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.