Ep. 3: The Power of Bitachon with Rabbi Mendel Teldon

At the time I made a list of all the beautiful things that happened because of the the theft, the wire theft and um you know whether it was going to the oil and dominating like really really domining, whether it was checking all the muzas in the house, whether it was adding shim, whether whatever it was certain things that it was a beautiful list of things that okay so whether or not the money comes back, we already have beautiful things that uh that happen because of it. If the money comes back, gravy, that would be pretty cool. But um if I came back, I'm Yasi Cayman. Welcome to among an ongoing faban about life as aid, our vibrant connection with the Reb and inspired living shaped by the way he teaches us each and every day. Hi Mandy, how are you? Hashem. >> Okay. It's uh you've been very uh busy lately, I think. No, you uh middle of buying a building for your house >> very true. Very true. >> But you also told me something interesting that you're uh you have a new >> personally. What you want to remind me what that is exactly? >> We're going we're going jumping straight in. >> That's There's no other way. I got you. >> I have a question. I have a question about it. That's why I'm asking. >> Go ahead. You want first? I should talk and then you ask your question. >> Or I can tell everyone what uh what I mean. I think what you told me was that you made a few months ago to learn for a few hours every day as a is that is that is that is that accurate? Is that true? So, I'm like I'm like I need to like do a preamble before this whole conversation as we start as this this podcast like you know you're jumping right in. Um like the whole thing is is uncomfortable if I can use that term. I was thinking about it as we're getting ready for this morning as I'm getting ready for this morning. And um I think the whole concept of a podcast is like but but but like a big but turned the on its head and it's like the whole um why >> why is it start with that? up until Darushi meaning if you would come to like someone like back in the day and say hey I want you to get on a get on a uh on a on a platform whatever it is and talk about anything like you can't imagine anybody doing this is the h of like the whole concept of I don't know it just it >> are you say are you saying because of the concept of bit like who am I >> the whole the whole influencer Instagramization of the world is not in in sync with uh is of things we stand for. Um, I think the Reb changed that around the, you know, um, and and and not just turned it around, but like ran with it and celebrated it. So, I don't know if it's supposed to come natural. I don't know if it it requires a Scafia to go down this path and go ahead and do it. Um, just recognizing the discomfort in in the platform and how it's uh and and and the conversation. Kav, we're having a it's just the two of us sitting here in our respective uh hole in the walls and um bullshing one with the other and then we're going to let you know at least you know my wife and your wife listen in. Maybe our my mother your mother-in-law will listen in and um and and we'll have the maybe a couple what I what I hear the first podcast between you and Joe Rogan there were like five million people that listened between the two of you together >> 100%. But I think in general the idea of the idea of when someone asks you to do something many people their instinct is to say nah who am I you know we want you to I don't know let's say who am I don't have anything to say I think if you are of if someone asks you to do something what we learn from the is of course I'm going to do it >> right right hence hence here >> and no, I think >> I'm just going to see the brain noise that I went to in the last few days as I'm prepping for this. I'm like, this is the craziest idea ever to have this conversation. And um listen, if it if it can help one other person and uh all I have to give up is a few hours of my time, then that's productive afternoon. >> Okay. So, thank you for the disclaimer and everyone should know that you that this is you're only doing this for for the kon and for the cause. So, >> 100%. That's that's why we asked you someone that wants a doo. We don't want him on. >> I got you. I got you. >> So, back to my original question. >> Disclaimer. Ask me anything you want and please um I'm happy to share. >> So, what's with the sed? What's going on? So, so how far back should I go? My sed is like this. You want me to get so vulnerable so quickly? um my say to Helen. So currently at the bar hashem I I uh get up in the morning, put my kids on the bus um and from 7:30 till 10:15 uh I dab in and learn and uh then from 11 10:15 to 11:15 I go to Starbucks, sit in their in their in their lounge area, make phone calls. I I try to come in the office not earlier than 11:15. And that's a significant amount of more learning that you have done that you're doing that than than in the past. I think it's a few hours. >> I was sitting by the oil um which by the kinos a bunch of guys and we were amazed by the you know the the liter gang of you know I sit and I'm a seder the first seder the second seda and the businessman they sit and they learn and they and they learn tada for a couple hours and then they walk in and these real estate people and these business people they they pride themsel in their lack of being in the office. Now as a as a asin as a person that our per our purpose is to interact with other people it might seem counterintuitive in intuitive maybe even like against myas but I was intrigued by the concept and around the table we like committed to uh to learn a little bit more and to shut off the phone to not be engaged in um a hakl for the first chapter of the day and then engage a little later and see where that takes you in the uh in your effect in your impact in your fundraising, etc. So, >> so I brought up the building on purpose. >> Go ahead. >> Because at the same time that you made this to add in your limit, what's called for now, that's the same time when >> that's the that's the same time that you're buying a building and or whatever would would tell you, "What do you mean? I'm I have to raise X amount of money for this new project. I have to double down. I have to work harder and you're doing something which may be counterintuitive by saying no da now I'm going to learn extra hours. I think you made that to learn before you got into this whole thing with the building. So maybe maybe it's connected very much. >> Yeah. Yeah. Um putting it in that context, it's very interesting to see how they worked out together. um I don't know was it six months now? Well, it was actually originally till 10 o'clock and then for my birthday I had 15 minutes to go till 10:15 but but a a incremental um growth in that area has not had less of an effect. It's been uh it's it's opened up new blessings in our in my life etc. >> So I mean I've been thinking a lot about this whole concept. It seems to me that one of the I was listening to and the the Reb says there was this of so the Reb uses the Reb is translating as foundation. The Reb says it in English and the Reb says there's how you say this and the Reb uses the word a foundational princip I guess like a foundational principle. What is that principle? And that's it's talking about over there. I for I think there's a there's a calve that goes through the Reb's whatever you call it teachings or the from the Reb about specifically about this takes a very very strong and central role by the Reb and all of the things I was just speaking to someone about college right that the Reb did not advocate advocated not to go to college and many one of the things that the Reba said is because of the influence in on college in college and that's 100% part of it and one of the factors but that's also to me at least not the main point this and it's especially relevant today when people say what do you mean do we have online colleges and this and that the main factor of the Reb's approach about college for example there's many other examples I'm just using this as an example is the idea that the Reb wanted to break the mold of the American way of life that we're worried from when the kid's a little kid but how is it going to make a parnasa Right. >> And it's that that mold that the Reb was trying to break. Not not not for the sake of breaking it, but for the sake of building up the real which is you have to do what's right. And if it's not right to go to college, you don't need it. So in your case if it's if I saw Rabbi Kesmat used to have hanging in his office and the rabbi says um I don't know who it's to the says an asking what does it mean there's an ask doesn't have so if you're if you're every you have to have if you're what does it mean that you're not learning I was once by and someone was was Do you learn every day an hour of like like if you don't do that? So not only is it not a deterrence or you know in the way of your fundraising it's your your success and your and your fundraising part of it is dependent on this right is that >> so you know and everyone's in a different stage in their life you know kind of hard if you have a bunch of kids under the age of five and you can't sleep at night until you get out of bed in the morning and you can barely put your pants on then it's it's hard to set a say there of learning Um I know for myself it took many years to get to a place of actually wanting to learn and and make a s of learning. Um not too long ago I was not you know I was in that place. life was not just too hectic, but but my brain was too hectic and if only I could get to the office before 9:00 and if only I can work extra hours and if you know that it wasn't just a lack of it was just a total dysfunction of the way things were working of my you know just the chaos of life. Um and it takes time to actually get to a place but you make a good point that the the once the foundation is on the once the foundation is on the is providing and uh I have to work accordingly to to strengthen that part of my self of my relationship with a then other things will fall in on top of that you know the schlickness environment the the the pressure of which can be overwhelming On one hand, the business side of it doesn't doesn't easily go in the way of you know the pressure of covering the bank and the the the the running of an organization, the running of of of your house, the running of your finances, all that is just it very easily it doesn't have to naturally go the course of it just the harder I work, the longer hours, the more pressure I put on myself, the more I'll produce until it doesn't work anymore. Until it it's not until you realize that that solution doesn't actually have fruits. It's it doesn't play itself easily to uh to have just more productive life. Um when you start building that foundation and you say it how you say this, life is just simpler. Life is a lot easier when uh I was going to say when the abish is in charge, but he's in charge anyways. Life's a lot easier when I can get on that bandwagon of recognizing listen I don't know where the line between and the taken laws lot you know where where's too muchadus where's too little that's I guess a lifelong balance of how to walk that tight rope but um sometimes air on the side of too much some sometimes on too much and and and you figure it out over the course of your life but this limited thing has not negated has not brought down any revenue or any uh um productivity >> right now. It's a it's a such an important thing because while I mean I I mentioned that the lebe was talking about you know breaking the American mold that mo that mold exists very much in today's society and talking about the from world and the labavage world I mean I speak to young people that are telling me that they're concerned about how can you uh not get an income or figure out an income even when they're not even married yet because you need a few hundred,000 to live as a front person. >> Right. >> And if these these basic, it's true. Our lives don't really make sense. The amount of responsibility that we have, the amount of costs that we have, tuition, the amount of children that we have, the it actually doesn't compute. It doesn't actually make sense. And if you want to make sense of it of of it all the that's an exercise that you may not be successful at because it doesn't make sense. There's no way to add it up. Right? So I I'm just thinking that it's really really important that from a very young age we cultivate this type of feeling amongst Davka young people because you know if you think life's complicated now and you're worried about what's going to happen in a few years imagine when you're in it and you actually do have to deal with all of this and if you if you haven't um built those muscles based on what it says when it says in what it says in what it says in then you have no tools. You need that to. And by the way, it's not only financial, it's in everything. Uh your mother, my mother-in-law has a personal story that the told her to learn. I'm not sure if I have permission to say the whole story. Do you know? >> As a representative of the family, please share. >> I'm obviously going to say it wrong because, you know, >> I'll correct you. But I believe the story is that um she was in Bishfka or seminary or or maybe at that point she was she was older. She was very past that. I mean she had been a misfka and at a certain point she was very down about um you know the and you know many of her friends got married already and she wrote a letter to the reb and she basically like a real full letter laying everything out everything that's on her heart her whole story and it's specifically about the the concept of and she was holding this letter she she wrote a letter and she was holding it and she was walking on the way to mascus to to give in her letter happened to be that punct while she was holding the letter the rabbi was in the car and Raby Klein was driving the reborn where where the uh where the museum is >> where the exactly and the rebba the car stopped and the rebba was look You know very often the reb would be with the safer or something but the reb was looking at her. So at that time um your mother was a bambiest by by the clients by um and le and so Klein asked her afterwards what was going on. What the was looking at you something's something's up. What was what was that? So she said actually I was holding a letter in my hand. My whole life was on this letter. I mean and uh I was I was about to deliver it to Mascerus. That's what was happening. Anyhow, the Reba responded to her letter and the Reba told her to learn and I believe the Reb said to do it learn it two or three times and the Reb said and it's also you can find it in English. >> Yeah. Yeah. And um in general I've uh myself I I've been learning it you know based on to some to many to to learn I've been learning it I'm I'm always learning it you know I learned it once and you know I do it sometimes it's I'm not always learning it and I'm always getting back to it and continuing. So I actually recently I had that click because I heard a vart in a share that I was listening to on it that all of a sudden I've heard this before because I read it before but now this time like a clicked and like it did a lot. So that's the idea you do it two or three times. >> The only I think this the only part of the story I heard differently but I have to ask my mom for >> Yeah. I I made made a disclaimer. I'm sure I'm saying it wrong but go ahead. She had wrote she had written in but did not hear back from the rebba and then she was she was standing at the corner and and the you know >> she wasn't she wasn't holding the letter >> she had written a few days earlier and did not hear back. >> Okay, we're going to have to do a redo to get the story right. Um yeah so it's just a it's a it it takes a lifetime you know it's it's not an all or nothing uh proposition you know to really start moving that to live a life of the taken takes time takes effort takes work takes uh takes it it takes being uncomfortable and and and to jump out on that ledge to be able to do something out of betaken >> why do you think this is such concept of By the way, it's a very fascinating thing just >> right the only term that really pushed not being >> yeah so why do you think this is such a >> it's a worldview it's a it's a whole different uh it's a different way of of living your life it's a whole different uh attitude and it permeates every single thing there's no part of your life that is not affected by really living bak and from your schedule your day to your to your finances to having children to have to the way you run your company to the way you interact with other people every single part of your day is so you're not looking for something if a that lives in when you see a guy who's tackling he's not he's a lot more comfortable with himself and he's a lot more comfortable with his and he's not a lot lot more comfortable in his way he interacts with other people because I don't I don't need I don't I'm not in charge of the outcome I'm not in charge of what happens from this interaction it was just talk running the world and and my My remember a while ago I think it was before co um I started calling on I I needed money sounds familiar like I need was financially tight but I started calling on local business people to meet with them with no agenda and just calling on them as the local as the local rabbi as a local in my mind you know the way I was in my in my own mind trying to present it as a local um representative, you know, and and and really engaging and having a relationship with him with taken no motive outside of taken no motive. And it was hard, you know, it's still, you know, obviously I'm looking a very filtered out demographic of who I'm calling on, but then to but then to rewind and say, "No, I'm I'm really there's no agenda here. there's there's pasha to offer them the service of a rabbi to have a a connection to to have a connection to but that that really is possible. It's a lot easier when I'm just when I'm not in charge of the world. I'm not in charge of the outcome. I'm not in charge of how this going to play itself out. How and sure enough, some of those relationships developed into beautiful relationships and and some of them were dead ends, whatever. But but even from a very basic perspective like that, how I interact with people is affected on my level is of course the fundraising, of course the scheduling, of course programming is all affected by that. But that foundational attitude is like Hashem's in charge. He really is. and and the money I have in my bank account this morning. The how many people come to my program is mamish from the which sometimes um you know you I blame myself more either I blame myself when less people come or I take credit when more people come. Both of them are wrong. Both of them are wrong. The only the only thing I control is did I make the phone calls? that I that I do my best in my in my industry for the effort that I'm supposed to put in. >> I think that's where the rabbit puts the line. Are you doing the are you are you doing the best you can in the in the industry of what you are performing what the normative process is? Are you doing that the best you can and then stop trying to manage the world? >> I I would also take it a step further. It's not only that you don't have you don't not trying to control the result. You can't be in a spell from the result as well. >> It's like, oh, someone gave a huge donation. Let's go dance hakafas or being dejected because someone told you no, whatever. We're talking about finances, but it's negative so many other aspects of life. Part of that is not being it's not it's not just step number one is not looking for the outcome, just doing what you need to do. Step two is not letting the the ups and downs control your minds and your and your emotion. That's >> I wonder that hypothetically a person with complete and there there was a moment that I thought that complete might look on the outside like apathy >> right >> because both of them you don't go high you don't go low the there but I realize that's not true complete is a person is actually always hypothetically You might look a little crazy, >> but you're always on a high. >> One second. There's a video that the tells who was it? He said he's giving 500,000 to Labavich. You know what I'm talking about? >> Federation. >> I forgot who it was. And the says >> that's it. >> Say, yeah, a million. Maybe a million. The says a million would be a lot would be a lot better. >> From Toronto, >> I don't think it was him, but said a million would be a lot better. And the idea is if you like, let's say, obviously it's different. But if if someone is so excited about the $500,000, you can't it's not a you can't do that gimmick and say, "Ah, give give a million." That's not going to work. But if you think that the person will benefit and have a bigger mitzvah by giving a million, so you're going to let him know, >> right? and and the fear that he might be turned off whatever it's not it's it's not part of my calculation right so and it's al I mean we're talking about finances but it's interesting talks somehow with someone in his one of his constituents and the guy said oh this is all about money I don't have I don't have that problem but um most pitaken challenge I don't know most I know for myself a lot of paken relates to finances >> for every and that's also across the board because >> day-to-day person unless they're tremendously you know what tremendously wealthy per people I I have a friend who's tremendously wealthy and he worries he checks his his balance his uh his net worth every day >> right that's complete opp that's like he's a traditional guy not you know whatever job is but he checks his net worth every day. I can't imagine um Bill Gates, Elon Musk every morning, you know, am I the top or am I the top three of today? That's a that same fear is the person with I mean it's express itself different, but it's the same lack of than the guy who's has $8 or negative $1,000. And when you're under duress, it's tre it's tremendously difficult. But it's the same lack of >> and the al but the also a lot of there's other things that are connected to very much that not rel I mean there are actually is related to I was thinking about mentioned in a different conversation that is about family planning. So some of it is about you know the heart the hardship the emotional hardship on especially on the mother but a lot of a lot of the are addressing the financial I mean you speak to people that don't have this outlook and it's a very simple can I afford to have another kid and we never uh someone that's not a calculation. It's not it's not one of the calculations at all because >> spells it out. It's very specific. It's every child not only opens up a new spiritual >> reservation the says it comes from the garam. Yeah. >> Okay. That's above my pyramid. Go ahead. >> Um right. So the so it's just uh the these muscles are I heard a story. >> It doesn't make sense. a person with with with six, seven, eight, nine, 10 kids, >> right? Um I heard a story I think uh I think pretty sure um is the one that posted the story, >> but I might be wrong. He'll correct me and that Rabbi Bam Klein, you mentioned him earlier, came into the Reb with a um a sack of letters. people running to the Reb and the Reb said that if people would learn this sack would be half empty and the idea is everyone has problems everyone has challenges what does a Yid do as soon as he has a problem he writes to the about it but if you if you're in tuned and you believe in the and you have the proper you don't have that problem. Yes, you have the tech. >> There's no problem to begin with, >> right? The the you have the practical implications of this. You have like anyone else, but you're able you you write what's really bothering you? But if it's not really bothering you because you believe in the abish there does does a person with complete never write >> first of all he writes >> you could write to the I mean in general the whole concept that you know some people are say I'm going to the have mine for right that's like a people use that uh that whatever yeah I mean it's true the rabbi gives brahas And every writ that's not why we go to the we don't go to the to ask for it's like uh there's a language use in other ken you go to palis like you know to accomplish something who said you're going to accomplish something you has to go to theb because that's is connected to the rebba Yeah, obviously if I need you know to and I'm gonna ask for but that's not why we go. So I mean the Reb spoke clearly about this whole concept of right that this that the only time you hear from them is when they need something and you never hear from them any other time especially right there's that famous video where um above other when the rebb someone tells that this is the child >> yeah child born from the rebba says thank you for telling me not not everyone is doing So you have this >> I this this is such such an important such an important concept but but it's it's really it's really dependent on the person you know and the same thing is like you know the is asking we're asking for all you're asking for everything you need but there's also there's also the that's part of the package you know that that you need to have that too not just asking what you need. I mean this is the famous that came to say a story came to and he said he needs this he needs that he needs that said is I think I'm saying it correctly this is everything that you need what's needed from you you don't mention at all so it's like a might wrote there someone someone wrote a letter to the Reb and the Reb in the I don't know if it was English or Hebrew but they they uh I need there was a bunch of eyes I think the just circled all the eyes like or if whatever it was just circled and like returned to sender it was like a little little sharp but but you know today there is a lot of focus on the I >> yeah like in the in the culture that that that's a big focus is that to to this I don't know there's the mental health world right is it I don't know the reality is that the focus is there you can't undo the you can't put the uh the salt back into the shaker >> um >> see people are self-absorbed you're saying >> cult culture is such maybe that's actually that you know that the BL should affect even the even the selfobsession should even uh reach there somehow that also becomes bick the focus on self also becomes in a way that I'm that I'm humble about it you can't undo the culture of of self obsession you know everyone's on their phone the the Instagramification of the world of of everyone Uh, everyone's on a podcast speaking. Um, you can't undo the culture. The question is how do you take a culture where there is an obsession with self and sometime somehow turn it around to make it into a into a an ada reality. >> I mean, yeah. I mean that I think maybe that's the whole concept that makes empowers the individual that every individual has the I mean I heard I heard of from um the whole Rabbi Tab said that uh he he has a column if he still does he has a column in uh the Ammy magazine he's answering people people's questions so someone some someone told him that this is like you really oh he said it's very hard for him to do it takes out takes a takes takes a lot can you imagine the all these letters and he had to you had to take out you know how much it takes from the now now you see what it's like so I think he said that's not that's not the vert that's not so exciting that's obvious That's very what's exciting is that the Rebba really knew the inner workings of everybody right people wrote to the Reb often these days letters are coming out we always have the answers now it's becoming in style people are sending the letters they wrote to the Reb some people uncover some files and they send it all over you seen the way people wrote to people wrote to the everything everything that's going on so Rab says the not only he answer He knew everybody so well. >> Yeah. >> And yet and he thought he could build an army with these people. >> Yeah. >> So I think that's I think that that's what it is. It's >> taking the the self the self-absorption and utilizing the the I mean no one no one I mean only in I mean there's never such a concept till that every is empowered to change the world. They never existed. It was from It was for uh you know for I mean it start it started in phases maybe that but then the said the famous that this generation it changed the saidb says that in the previous generations was the of this generation is every single person is a lamp lighter and no matter if you learn to take or not that it goes over to the whole generation. I think that you know imposttor syndrome is uh is a real thing in the sense that I think I know for myself and people friends that I talk with and talking with younger as well who who am I to actually make a difference in a very real way you know especially when you see the you talk to you in like in what capacity as it happens. Sometimes uh calling for advice, sometimes uh whatever, you know, financial advice or or or just senior peer advice. >> And let's let's say you say in financial advice, people call and and advice on how to structure finances or how to build a like that um you know, responsible finances. So I found that a lot of people don't feel worth worthy of whether it's the salary that they're taking or they don't believe enough in the cause that they're representing whatever I'm in in my little town. You know what am I doing over here? I haven't done much yet. I'm on two three years. I haven't accomplished much. I'm costing X amount. I'm not worth the money that I'm that I'm uh taking. Um I I h I I don't see myself on the same level of uh you know the stars in Labavich the uh the the um those that have at least in a revealed way high level influence of the world around them you know we we compare oursel to them and it's like you know I'm not accomplishing much I'm not worth that much um and then you start the conversation about no you know you are genuinely the boy kayak of Samos in your little town, you're worth you're worth an infinite amount of money. Not the money is the is the barometer of what you're worth. You are worth every the Jewish world has to invest everything it can in you because you really are a huge deal. You really are. I'm not a yukul in a little town with eight people at my minion or or or you know, nine people at my say there. It's a very um lonely and discouraging job at times when when you don't believe in in your true power and potential. And I think there's that I don't know people trying to figure out really your whole life you're trying to figure out your own ego, your own your place in the world. Um and I forget where we got here. I think you're talking about the power of the individual. The >> power of the individual. The believed in every single person the believes in in the person themsel that you are um the most important guy in your town. The has to really believe that the real has to internalize that idea. I remember years ago I had a deer I think you have to like make a a um jingle and every time someone podcast says their hair you play like a little their hair jingle. >> We'll ask we'll ask the producers to add that. >> There you go. that um there's a vert I don't think it's it's the vert but there's a vert of why is where it is geographically it's at the intersection of Asia Africa and Europe you know of all the places on on why did why is that makadesh why is that why is that why is that there and because that's really the intersection of the world that is the time square of reality and anyone doing business between Africa Asia Europe has to go through that part of the world and therefore if the Eden's job is to is to um influence the world if with the Arau of humanity that really have to influence everyone. the best way strategically to be able to do that is is right there at that intersection and therefore um is purposefully there even though it's not a great you know there's no oil there and there's no but uh that's the place because to to make a that's the place has to happen I think part of that part is like the whole the whole world happens through the so all people have to come in contact with in order to get their so that is the the greatest place in order to accomplish that that that the is the same thing in his local is the same represents in his little in his little corner of the world. Really the entirety of the hashbah of the whole community happens through the office living room house meetings the Starbucks that the goes to that's where all the ashbas of the town happens and the has to really embrace that meaning everyone in the town know who am I no every influencer in town has to have a yakas with the every school superintendent every anyone one in town that that is a mitzvah or not a mitzvah their hashbah comes to the local and therefore it's the responsibility to to to step into his position of influence of of what am I doing here and you know the opposite embrace your ego embrace your your the power that you have which is the of celebrating that mits of celebrating that that uh the the the the the ego and saying run with it. You are the most important person in your town. Now, if you do that in a selfish way, you're going to screw the whole thing up. If you do that in a selfish way, you're going to you're going to have a negative impact on the on the community. But if you do that in a proper way, in an adal way, then your ego is the most important ego of the town. I think it's also I think that's the concept that I brought down which is not about particular, it's about in general that that you create your environment. You create an environment. >> Yeah, >> I think it's the same concept that what is the definition of aud you use the word influencer that people use that word today. It's actually a good it's a good word. Every every is an influencer or or is supposed to be right. says, "If you're not, right?" You know, if you're not an influencer, >> if you don't, if you don't, the worst thing is that you're not an influencer. >> Yeah. >> You know, >> yeah, >> the worst thing is they're no longer an influencer. >> There's a famous >> a real influencer, not a BS influencer, >> right? There's a famous the says that I don't know if it's how famous it is that the Reb says if you're domining chabas and you have over your head even if you're sleeping but it looks like you're there's already so >> I never understood that. No. What? >> Go ahead. Explain it. Explain it. >> Um, I think that the concept is no one's not looking to be fake. Not the idea, but you're a healthy basically a lot of people think that they're in their own corner has that and needs to be taken care of. But sometimes people have legitimate reasons for saying this. let's say I'm out of or I'm one of the in the town you know I'm not so important and I think that that ver about the talis but in general we're talking about is that you can never look at yourself as you're not part you know you're just you're just you know part of the collective crowd you know there's the in the many very often when speaks says uses every one of you in particular and all of you together. So you need both you need both of those because we have how we're part of a and also the so it's a just an important part of the fabric of being a in general and in particular is recognizing that you are a person of influence. I mean everything that you know the the Reb writes in so many letters not to move from your from your location. Obviously the Reb did let people move you know you know I'm I'm generalizing but you see a doesn't like when people are are abandoning their community. Why? Who am I? I'm for sure the never lets people leave. But I mean like I said I made a disclaimer. the word cases generally but any person you're a yid you have hashbah on your community that's it's such it's it's a real revolutionary concept I meet people that okay we're making aliyah we're going here I mean not outside of lab which I'm talking about we're doing this we're doing that >> and like you know I'm not going to get into too many details because I you know but I don't want to talk about individuals but I've saw instances where I saw how those people were very effective in the community. They weren't necessarily raonim or they had this project and they did that project and one of them one of them were were actually making aliyah not all I asked them did you find a replacement I asked this person did you find a replacement for this program they used to do >> that you do they never even thought of it >> it's not because it's not because they don't care it's because it was a thing that they did and now they moved on they're on to the next chapter of their life it's not their it's not their responsibility >> in the community so form. I came in, they really want to make aliyah. Hey, I'm here, Michelle. Thank you. And they really really want to make aliyah and um you know, they're there quite often, but um conversations with them about that wants you to stay here. If you if you're influential here, if you and they're very influential here in community, you don't have the privilege of of leaving. You are influencers and and embracing the influencer position is uh and and you can talk about it. You actually don't you know, no, you are influential and you don't have the the privilege or the right to pick yourself up and make which talk would be very nice for you. It would be very nice. Maybe even add in which is debatable if it will or won't but but it might even have you know be a plus in your own but you have here >> right and and sometimes right and sometimes I mean the whole concept of when the reb was introducing it it's it's clear in the look look at the way theb is very interesting in general to to if you learn the early you can see how the is developing the concept of not necessarily is it always about the whole concept of of of the idea that that has to from you know from olive and one of the things that the says there >> training a generation to think in in those minds >> right right yeah so one of the things the says is yes it may affect your spiritual and youristic growth but it's what's needed from you and other people can benefit benefit from it. So it's your responsibility, right? So I mean we're discussing this in a different conversation that I think the approach in general is empowering through giving responsibility. >> The more you did, the more you uh you got empowered to do more, >> right? And it's like some people have a hard time with it like you know what do you want from me? I do I do what I can. Obviously, you do what you can and but it's I I think it's a it's such a different approach to life that like that approach that it's you're doing it for yourself. It's for it's part of your everything right there. Selfish motives did but it's for yourself. You want to look at yourself as someone that has responsibility and someone that has influence because ultimately you're going to be in a healthier spot. Your family's going to be in a healthier spot. If you if you feel like you're doing something, I mean uh someone sent me this little uh uh meme. There's a new breakthrough breakthrough new approach to self-care. And the new approach is that there's been studies that if you help others, it actually helps you be happier. This is this is a huge >> huge breakthrough in in modern >> billions of dollars of research, >> right? And this is uh this is basic reba you know uh you know this is so basic and but people take it for granted like or or or they're not realizing or not tapping into that like you know you you have you you're a massive influencer and a lot of times also people look and oh this is this is wrong this is you know they're trying they're looking at society or they're looking at in labavich like this is not going right and that's not going right and then they complain about it on their WhatsApp group or to their to their best friends. >> By the way, every from the perspective, every part of Alam Haza has to become alpa. every single part of the human experience, your seo, your midas, your misa, you know, allus of your makeup. Um and the the entirety of civilization part of bringing Msiah is the entirety of civilization is um that it's functioning al you know whether it's audits happens alum that the only way real shalom can happen is when it's al if it's makebelieve uh um ideas then it's just temporary measures that won't really bring shalom it can only happen ala Commerce can only happen ala business money can be only real money can only be made al society should only ultimately be running al so each one of us have huge influence on a segment of the world that is still not running al and whether it's a everyone in this context every single person is a which is how the rebba presented it that we all have a part of haza that is not says to to create a reality where everything in this world is functioning on potato. So, you know, there's there's never a moment where um where you're you're outside of a there's a room full of and you're in the room. Great. Well, I think it was Drizzen in California when that the cult killed they killed themselves. Is that you know what I'm talking about? No, I mean I heard of the cult that killed themselves, but you can elaborate. >> I think the 70s, I don't know, late 60s, early 70s, Rabbi Drizzen was a >> I went to in San Francisco in Northern California something. >> He was in Berkeley, I believe. No, that was short. He was away with both of them. Okay. there was the cult either they were there or they were sourced from there or they I don't know from there and they they all uh um committed mass suicide and soon thereafter called him and says he's like like what what how do I get mixed into this bunch although probably there were many of them were Jewish but they live there it's an hour from here whatever it is it's far away says you have to assume responsibility >> it's your thing it's your thing it's your part of the world um you know That's that you are in a position of influence. It's under your umbrella whatever that means. But just the like all these things that the pushed which is a novelty of that all these things should should happen is really understanding that every person can influence every part of reality that it should be alid you know deeper deeper things >> and this would also explain why is tasked with bringing mashiach >> a natural that's a natural conclusion of this process Right? Because >> when you're when you're doing this and when when when every single detail of reality is infused with the Mayan itself, then automatically Msiah happens. It's like that's a natural outcome. >> Right? So the Reb basically ambassadani was setting out the mission and telling every that will no longer be you know is not a party. It's not a maf and each one of you have to bring Msiah and you're all going to take responsibility for this. The crazy idea if you look at it from a very grub um analytical sense the business strategy systematically laid out from Tshin even before tin what's the goal the mission statement like is very like vocal there's a mission statement >> said in America we like statement lays out as a mission statement then slowly starts building infrastructure then slowly starts never you know waits for certain things to come from whatever it is. certain certain initiatives coming from positive but ever like with progressively goes and slowly goes and builds up this this this this um flywheel effect that just bigger bigger and all of a sudden all the everything gets sucked into it and and and and Yaba what it is today but it's a fascinating I don't know if there's a you know an article's written about the deb's business strategy but >> were you weren't you working on such a project >> no something similar I don't know you Why don't you have a couple thousand dollars for me? What is the project? >> Really? We're going to go there? Okay. Um I I had seen an article um I want to say 10 years ago of there of someone built the data of Shalus and Shuas. I don't even know when Shalus and Shuas are. I don't know 300 400 500 years ago of each the Shalus and Shuas of the the reach of the Shalus and Shas meaning um okay draw I'm drawing a blank who's a shalist who's who give me an example of the Huda is heal I guess right okay Huda is sitting in in um therag the uh the planet on the planetrag >> near the gum >> and he's sitting there and he's Um >> yeah it's a if you listen to Kund you would know that uh lady behood is from Prague. >> There you go. I think that tovito is blocked on you know that video. I can't watch >> pre it's pretovidito. I mean this is cassette and then the car we listen to. Okay. >> So um >> maybe in the teldons they don't have >> we don't have we don't have cassettes. >> Oh okay. So we so hood is sitting in his basement or his living room wherever he is. Is that the same guy that um the longest pes? Same guy. >> Yeah. Yeah, that's the story. Yeah. >> Okay. So, he's I already can hear the sounds of his living room. He's sitting in his living room. Now, he's sitting in his living room and he sends out 500,000 different letters. So, they actually in a very cool way built out a database of all the places and dates that he sent out letters. So um you have you can see I don't know what year he lived in you know this year he sent letters there and then that year you can see over the course of the 30 40 50 years that he's sending out letters the reach of the native and you can do that with many different um um authors over the course of their lifetime the influence it's actually done I think at university of kyifa so they would digitized chalice and shas I thought it was cool I thought why don't we do that with Whatever it never happened do what >> so a year and a half ago two years ago it dawned on me that maybe taken out I don't know the technology but I started dabbling in it so imagine you can do the reach we don't know the reach the reach it's impossible to quantify it but imagine if you can digitize the deb's reach meaning from from B you know you have a small dot in the >> neosk was born >> nicolive and then um and then over the course of time so you have you have different metrics you have different data points of what uh of of where the so you have open you have sent you have letters sent so you have the date and the location you have places referenced in you have um printed you have sent you have um things like that you have of of places that went. So imagine you can actually have in a map these type of visuals of the reach of now you can do it in a way you can do that pull up the data multiple ways um what what was done in lab in the people that came from where did they come from it's a you know in communications Hebrew and English what there's there's there's 10,000 Hebrew letters and there's at least another 10,000 English of other languages letters from the there's 20 30 40,000 minus whatever it is there's a tremendous volume of data that is uh that is um available to be able to really quantify or visualize you I have the thing that has given to the world and all the cities that currently have the but that's not that's not a strong visual and it's also not interactive and it's not uh over time so imagine you can do what happened in these are the sent open during those um the minus sent the letters etc. imagine you could do from tough till where was at that point I believe if you have all that data you can create a um an interactive map of really covering the planet I mean where where on this planet was there not a letter sent or didn't walk through and um etc. So, >> it's funny. I I just sent I just recently saw a letter from the Reb in English to someone in Stamford >> 20 years before. >> He lives mamish around the corner from where I live and no one knows. I asked a bunch of people the the Rabidarin and others. They don't know who he is. It was it was before and uh we don't know but the Reba was communicating with the Yid that lives around the block from me. You know, >> I moved into I moved into Smithtown. Your father has your father has hanging in his office a letter that the Reba wrote to uh what was that group >> in Long Island? There was a group that was becoming >> and that was the precursor for your for for your parents becoming becom in Long Island. Your father the letter that wrote to them it's hanging in your father's office. >> I moved to Smithtown four years ago to a new house. I'm walking to we moved there pes six months later. you know, you know your neighbors. You wave at them. You smile at them. I don't really know who you are. I knew there was a couple doors down there, a Jewish guy. And um I'm walking to show Morning. I walk by this guy's house. He's in his He's out in his car. He's washing his car to Shauna morning. Music blasting young kid. I walk by. He waves at me. Happy Rashana, Rabbi. I say, "You want to hear Schaefer?" I walk over. He uh he comes out, put a yamak on and blow Shaer. And he says to me, "Oh, I was by the oil yesterday." like what? Yeah. Whenever I have a problem, I go to the oil. Did I say it right? Oil. >> So he says, "But it was too busy. There were too many people that were too many people." So I left. I'm going to go back next week. >> I was going to ask him like, "How do you end up there?" And that's like the stupidest question ever. Like what do you mean how do you end up there? Of course he ended up there. But the didn't need me. like has this you know maybe I'll have the to be able to get involved in this person's relationship that you know the relationship independent without me but so I actually spent some time researching so we have you know the the generally have the data available some the early years is not uh is not digitized in any real way it's it's hard to track but maybe this can be part of the process of digitizing Ironically I reached out to the guy who who um originally digitized the child and he he got all excited. He says, "University of Kaifu would love to get involved." And he quoted me $40,000 to build out this huge map. I said, "No, thank you." But on Fiverr, I got a guy. >> Oh, he wanted $40,000. >> He wanted $40,000 to build out this interactive map that that really can. >> So, what do you think the what is the point of this besides the data? The point is that influencing every every every corner of the globe really changed. If Msiah's going to if Msiah's coming is dependent on us reaching every corner of the globe with the Mayan itself and really getting there that gives a visualization of of how that's happening. Also let's say Tanya's you're in a place no Tanya is printed there. It's very hard today to find out was it Tanya ever printed here? So boom, you have you can find it. What where is there a place? It's all great for development of the people. >> So you're saying this is also could be a tool to see where on the map >> once it happens once it happens there's a lot that could be done with it and and and the mist are very supportive of it happening also. They just need someone to uh pull it all together into onto one. Maybe that's their hair project next. But um whatever it it's it it's using modern technology to really appreciate the enormity. It's it's hard to fathom the Reb's reach on the world. It's hard to put that in a visual of what that actually means. Literally, every zip code either has a Tanya printed, has a has a M, it has America in certain areas of the globe. >> It's a pretty cool whatever. It's a pretty cool idea, >> right? >> Sponsorships available >> and you the vision is that it goes after Gamas also. >> Yeah, 100%. Like imagine you can see from from 1902 to 1925 to 20 to 2025 as as the world just gets covered with these little flames or whatever you want to whatever the icon is influence you know by the it's you know before you don't really see you know everyone's halfway standing anyways when you see you actually see You can actually see, wow, like this is this is a crazy visual. >> And it's also because in the reality is how we're going to fulfill the mission. It's it didn't it didn't happen before and it's going to happen now. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. And by the and by the way tied everything in believing in in this mission and really having a miach it's also tied into if you think that you're here mikra and you're here by chance and you just happen to be here because you don't really believe in the there how can you believe in mashiach believing really believing in mashiach is a total outgrowth of having strong in your and in your so that's the ma that I heard a different I always thought it was but I just heard now that might have been someone else that came back from from you know you know the story >> go ahead >> I always but I don't know and then someone asked uh what were you what did you learn there? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Well, you don't know the my knows it also. She brought her in. He asked her what you know is there. Yeah. So he said that she says there's there I know that there's an abish there. I think that's really the concept. That's a concept of in general of that the you know the is it gives us it sustains our you know when when you have the lay the reb laying out there's in this world there's basili the mak And you have to and and and translating that to the here and now. Then now we have to actually make a and bring the of this world. I mean this is a huge huge gift that uh that that we have as as that the whole world has to be able to have that clarity and that you know that to to know that it's real to know to really know that it's real and to you know to be able to wake up in the morning and say I'm part of I'm part of this godly mission saying it's it's a volcano takes on a whole new dimension when it's coming in this context. It's not it's not because we're we're murdered and because of because of anti-semitism and because that's also true yeah. So, I'll now that we we sat together um we're already friends. So, we're just pretending. >> We're just pretending. So, I'll I'll I'll share I'll share a story hopefully that ties a few things in together. So, so many years ago, well, not so many years ago, we were looking for a house um for years, our recent house, our previous house, and we were looking for a new house. Want to try remember all the details correctly, but I might clarify throughout. We're looking for a new house, and we couldn't find, we just couldn't find one. Of course, walking distance to Kabad. Um, didn't work out. Fast forward to um it was it t we right after the tissue we put out we we we expanded on Zillow we you know what we'll find a mile radius from our house we'll find a um walkable distance one mile sure enough within a few days after Yumpt we found a house we we put in a offer we won the bid great house great location um we had to we had to refurbish. We had to fix up our current house before we moved into the new one. So, we couldn't sell that house until we bought the new one. So, I needed a loan. I called my grandfather, Lady Mexico. He gave me a loan so that we can buy the new house. Very good. So, we were supposed to close on the house. Um December 20, December 30th, we were supposed to close on the house. Um our lawyer had all lined up. He sends me an email about 10 days beforehand saying, "Hey, this is the amount we need for closing. Can you please wire me the amount and I will send you and um that way when we get to closing, everything will be fine. We don't have to have any problems." I wire him the money. I call, go to the bank, I wire the money. Um December that year, December 25th. Yeah, December 25th was Chabas. I went to the bank. He calls me. The lawyer calls me December 24th, Friday at 3:30. And he says, "Um, okay, the closing is next week when it's Thursday. I just wanted to give you the numbers of what you should bring to closing a check." I said, "Uh, you know, I already do the money." And he says, "I have no idea what you're talking about. Why why um why did why do you think you sent me the money? I never asked you for money." And all a sudden it dawned on me what happened like, "Oh, shoot." So I'm like, "Stop." like you never asked for money. He says, "No, I never asked for money." I said, "Um, here's an email that you sent me." He says, "I never sent you that email." Guess it was a hack. I had wired $136,000 to um the proverbial Nigerian prince in some uh someplace, whatever. And that was that was, you know, the loan that I got from my grandfather to go to closing. So, it's it's Friday afternoon, 3:30. Shavez is 407. It's a it's a short Chavez. Shabas is 407. So I um quick I didn't even call home. I ran to the bank. I ran to Chase where the money was and they're closed already for the um I call it's it's 3:45. It's 3:50. I call I don't know who to call. The whole country shut down already and we have guests coming to our house in a half hour in 45 minutes. I call the police and I say, "I don't know the right person to call. uh can you please can I file a report? They said they'll send someone to my house. I said, "Okay, but it's going to be the Sabbath and I can't do anything." They said, "Listen, there's no one in the office now. We'll do the best we can." I run home. I walk in the house. My wife sees, you know, she sees something went off. I'm like, "It's 4:10." It's like really after it's 4:15. Um I say, "Give me a second. Let me just empty out my pockets. I'll I'll tell you everything." I run into the bedroom to take out my my uh my stuff. As I'm in the bedroom, the doorbell rings. There's a cop at the door. >> So, my kids are there and no one knows what happened yet. And there's a cop at the door and Tati's freaking out. So, I come out my bedroom. I'm like, "Okay guys, everyone's okay." I said, "Everyone's fine. Um, give me two minutes. I'll explain everything." I step out of the house and I tell the cop, "Listen, this is what happened." Um, he says, "Oh, you know, when did this, you know, when did you wire the money? This morning? This afternoon?" I said, "No, I wired it like 10 days ago." And he's like, "Oh, now um what it was like it was five days. It was five days before I spoke to him." And um he's like, "Oh, okay." You know, whatever. Like if it was this morning, what to do about it? Five days there was nothing to do about it. Kids here, he takes down a uh police report. I go back into the house and um I my wife and kids are standing there like, "What just happened?" And I said, "Listen, Tati made a mistake and I wired the money to some brook. Um, we're going to buy the house. We're going to I have no idea how, but we're going to buy the house." And I I don't I have no idea. That's all the information I know. I I don't know anything else. I wired the money to the wrong person. And the closing is Thursday. I'm going to buy the house. I'm going to have a you know, bar. And somehow internally, like it was just, okay, Mendy, the guests are coming. and everything you ever learned in Yeshiva about Shabas and about and about runs the world and about whatever you know the moment Shabas begins like everything the world on Friday afternoon is perfect and somehow something just clicked in my mind I'm like okay let's go with this like I I have nothing to lose like I really there's nothing to do there's nothing to do guest came it was a delightful Friday night dinner I actually called those guests like a year later and said you were to you noticed anything that far night like no everything was beautiful >> they didn't notice >> they didn't notice um one of the families actually committed to put the kids in day school that night it was it was a it was beautiful the moment which is happened of course you know now reality hits and it was like whatever it's weekend and everything there's nothing to do there's nothing to do I called every person I knew that I thought could be influential no one can do anything and the moment they heard that it's like now it's six seven days ago there's nothing to do Monday morning comes okay v so we we get were able to track it that was sent from it takes like 24 hours to get these things done because you have to get a a permit from the government from the police to go to Chase and they sent I wired it to US Bank. Okay, now you have to talk to US Bank. It takes another 28 48 hours and 48 hours later. Okay, now they sent it to to the next to the next uh uh finally um the closing is on Thursday. I borrowed money from four different people $100,000 to go to closing. we closed. Um, we're still running after the money. It's nowhere. Whatever. Um, then it's New Year's weekend. Why did it get pushed off for three days? After a couple, we found out that it was put into a signature bank account and the bank account belongs to a cryptocurrency company. Like it's a you from there it's a cryptocurrency holding company and the money gets sent away the moment it's incur. So during this process like it was a genuine that week coming back to was a very um reality a strong reality check like you couldn't pretend anymore and that's what I asked you before about you know I said the difference between and apathy >> right so were you saying to yourself that week I know this is going to work out I'm going to get the money back or you were saying and that's it >> I didn't know what to think. It was so overwhelming. There were times that I thought both of those. There were times that I thought I remember distinctly having one thought when I when I found out that the money went into a crypto account, which basically means it's over. I mean, once it's in crypto money, it's anonymous. It's gone, >> right? So, I remember think that I heard at Rashku when he was in prison when he said he said when the last person he thought could help him said, "I can't help you." I think he at that moment either he got very upset or he got very I think he actually got very happy like okay now only the aster >> only the aister only the averish and when I went into crypt I'm like okay god this is mamish only on you there's nothing that could be done here it's not po no one no one gave me even that small chance of of getting back the money and um but but in the course of that week I I was speaking to anyone that I can and I realize that that I'm in a position of being able to share my with other people that that I share with people. I have I have no idea how this is going to work out, but I'm the runs the world. I wasn't I wasn't in yet. I wasn't like everything's going to be perfect because run the world and and everything like I don't know. I'm not nervous because Hashem runs the world and and and and I wasn't nervous. I wasn't my heartbeat wasn't going up or down. I wasn't bim but my but I was like okay this God's going to run the world and boom mish two weeks later I got a call from the from the detective he said rabbi don't repeat the story to anyone because it will never happen again we found your money like how he says rabbi don't ask we have your money and it took four six weeks and he then they wired it back >> your local your local police >> prison over here whatever you know I don't know who they talk with and I don't know how it goes. I spoke to the FBI, I spoke to CIA, I spoke to Mamish, anyone that I thought knew anyone about anything, but and they were all immediately at the end of the phone call like, "Rabbi, there's nothing to do." I've gotten phone calls, people that I've told the story to, I've gotten phone calls from other people saying, "Rabbi, I wired money, you know, how how do you get the money back?" I'm like, "There's no there's no method to this. It's it was fine." But in in the course of that time it was a beautiful experience of actualizing of actualizing um the tools that I read about etc and learned about and and about but actually like okay you know I called Ellie Rosenfeld in Florida who helped and I said Ellie I have this thing I discussed with my wife we're out $130,000 we're We're we're we're we're we're pretty confident that God's going to get it back to us. I have no idea how. So, I want to preemptively commit to you $13,000 and um I'm going to send you $1,800 now. I actually borrowed $1,800 to be able to send it to him as a prepayment for the $13,000. I >> gave you gave it now that they're getting the money back or you saying no, this is a pledge no matter what the outcome is. I the 1,800 I sent and then I said, Ellie, tell the aster that there's more money waiting for you. I don't know where, but there's more money waiting for you. So, as soon as I get that money, I'm going to send you the money. So, La, we sent him, you know, another $12,000 and he said there was a wedding in somewhere in Africa in Ukraine or Russia that we able to send pay for that wedding. And I made at the time I made a list of all the beautiful things that happened because of the the theft, the wire theft. And um you know whether it was going to the and dovening like really really domining, whether it was checking all the muzas in the house, whether it was adding shim, whether whatever it was certain things that it was a beautiful list of things that Okay. So whether or not the money comes back, we already have beautiful things that uh that happen because of it. If the money comes back, gravy, that would be pretty cool. But um the came back able to, you know, send back my grandfather the money, pay back the loans, start construction of my house, whatever. Good stuff. Fast forward, there's a follow-up and a follow-up to the follow-up to the story. But fast forward um we're about to move in a few months later till we sold our old till. So fast forward our new house. We were doing construction a week before we were supposed to move into the new house. There's a flood and destroys the floor. New we put in a brand new floor. All destroyed. Call the insurance company. They say no you're not covered. Why? I didn't know this, but when you get insurance on your house, you have six weeks to move into your house or else becomes a a rental an investment property. If you have two different properties and you need a special rider to extend your insurance on your new house, I don't know. We weren't It was supposed to take less than six weeks, so we're not covered by insurance. And now they say we have, you know, there's no money here. I called a uh one of these people that help with insurance. He said, "There's nothing here." Said, "Do me a favor. Try there's nothing here. It's over. It's over. You know, I'm sorry. There's nothing here. There's no there's no responsibility for them to give you a dollar. I had a conversation with my wife and um you committed it. If the money comes in, it's new money. Give me micer. Sure enough, two months later, we got a random call. They said, "Okay, we decided to give you $50,000 to cover the damage." Mah, they didn't they didn't owe it to us anything. >> Beautiful picture. The next we're trying to sell our old house. No bites. No bites. No bites. No bites. No bites. It's a hot market. Everything's selling. We had to bring on nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. It's the middle of June, July. I'm paying two mortgages. Slept. And then I I I I had I reality like this. It dawned on me the year before 2020. Yeah. 2020 with the PPPs and all that. PPPs. >> So the PPPs um money came in, right? Money came in and it was personal money. It wasn't money. It was personal money. then whatever I had some other things that I was doing on the side that I was able to to bring in money and and when I made a at in l l 2021 I made a of the monies that came in. So I gave micer during all that and it was like when I you make a of the money they gave to no you make a money you gave to me. So I made a of of the money and it was like a pretty cool number like wow that was pretty cool. I never thought I can give that much amount of sucka ever. Wow. So I remember at that time so this is this is editor Shashana 2021. Remember at that time saying to myself you know what um wouldn't it be cool if next year even though there's no PPP and I wasn't doing the same things that I thought I can make some money on the side if I can give the same amount of my And I thought to myself like that's stupid. That's like a silly thought. Like that's not poss like just the math is not for me to make that much money to be able to give that much messer is not in my wheelhouse to make that much money. There's no you know PPP was a lot of money and other things a lot of like it's just not then I thought to myself like why why do I need to manage the aish's money? like if he gave me this amount this year, he can give me a different amount next year. So I wrote down on a piece of paper and and I'm like, you know what? Why am I being stingy with Aish's money? If I'm already asking for that amount, go big or go home. So I wrote number double, >> literally double the amount of what I gave last year. >> Simply doubling it. >> Last year was a crazy number. I'm like, why not? It's not my money anyways. So I doubled it and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. I actually sent it to myself as an email that should pop up in my Gmail account the following year. And then I it was such a crazy number I forgot about it. That's why it didn't dawn on me. I like forgot about it. It was like a silly thought. I'm standing now mill of of and I made the of the money that I suck I generally gave plus the money that I gave from the wire um $13,000 there plus the $5,000 from the insurance like you know what we committed to give me from the benefit and the profits on the sale of our old house like wow that's going to get me to that number I told my wife like I'm pretty confident we're going to sell the house for and I did the map. I showed it to her. She's like, "Halai, whatever. That's pretty cool." Sure enough, literally a few days before we closed on the house and we we on onesh we went to contract and they asked special requests. Usually it's 60 to 90 days, >> right? >> Closing. They asked if we're okay doing in 30 days. like, "Hey, yeah, we can >> I have a deadline to meet, >> right?" So, we got the money and I had already planned out, you know, where it's going. So, from Shana, I took out a paper. It was $300 more than the number that I gave that I wrote down in the email the year before. All right, I come very cool. Like, it all worked out. All worked out. I I got the money back from the wire. I got the insurance. I sold the house. All three >> They lived happily ever after. >> Lived happily ever after. All three things that were not in my in my the year before. Now it's now now I'm I'm a in in in this. Right. I know how this I know how the game works. So I wrote last year I doubled. I'm a smart boy. Triple. I I I know how this works. So I wrote a number. I wrote a number. Fast forward the next year. I didn't even hit the previous number. Right? So, a year later now, now now I'm like going through my own internal uh um sus and I thought that's how it works. You put a number and you start giving towards it and maybe just sends you know fills in the blank. So I was like I was in retrospect it's like silly but I was like wondering like how taka does this work and and and what's the algorithm so I was watching a inter a gem interview with armland from Florida from uh he has an interesting ma also similar thing >> mazen >> so he he also He had he he came he was bidding atasas and he and he gave I think $500 and the reb said send which was a crazy number $5,000 like um the said you should do it happily and he said yeah the next he didn't have the money the following so he sold a piece of property mash and he was able to do that plus and he comes back the next year of shishius and he's he's bidding I think it's algori I forget who he's bidding against and the they were he's bidding bidding bidding because now he's a he's a and and not only that but the takes care of him. Whatever number he says is going to back him up. So the reb so the they arranged that whoever whoever the other person was wins and he gets second he gets another covid but like the rabbi told him I'll I'll take care you know I'll tell you the number basically an open check so he comes in for afterwards and the and he sits there and he comes in with a whole balabatite you know he describes like he comes in like the is going to tell him a number and he's going to write the number and then he knows that's his profit for the year times 10 and at the end of the like the doesn't bring it up at all. >> Mhm. >> And he's disappointed. He's like he's like where'd I go wrong? And at the he he brings it up and the rabbi I think says like $118 >> and he's like heartbroken. He's like devastated like like is that I'm really that's what it's about? I forget if this is him talking or the Reb told him, but he realized again I'm not sure if the Reb tell him this or just him him understanding himself. Last year he came and this year he came with the Mitsus brought him down to size. Not only that, but also again, I don't know. I think this I'm not sure if this is him talking or me translating in my own mind about him talking, but also the Reb the previous year took him to a place where he didn't see possible. The Reb took him to a place where was not in his was not in his he's not shy to that. What do you mean $5,000? The took him to a different place. And now you've got to figure it out on yourself. You got to you got to you can't I'm not carrying you through this process anymore. Now actually get there on your own and he doesn't follow up the rest of his life but you know what happened but but he was able to give stuck but now he had to come to the conclusion himself and the automatic math of stick in you know the spreadsheet that number and times it by 10 and happily ever after that's what Hashem provided you for the year is not is not the algorithm of how to work. It was a reality check for myself of okay, you know, you did something very nice one year and it worked out one year and now going forward you got to you got to flex those muscles and and work on the muscle of taking that leap and and doing whatever I think is the appropriate thing but but stretching it and stretching it till it gets to a place where where um it's beyond my previous But uh you know it's not it's not an automatic thing. It it takes it takes work. >> So you're saying that is not a ticket for a good life. And I saw the writes many times to people that at least in gulus life is full of ups and downs and hardships. So it's not a ticket that if you have real doesn't always doesn't mean that everything's always going to be good but you will have the you will see that there will be times if you have you will see there are times in your life where there is no other way of explaining it besides the hand and that gives you the ability not only to to stretch way beyond any place you can that that you've gone done before, but also helps you during those times where you're on those downs to also re realize it's the same abish there and that you can you can do it. Yeah. Very good. There's no there's no um there's no free ticket. Yeah. And and life is easier when there's when it's in a mindset. Life is easier not because the things that happened to you. It's not like those things don't happen to you anymore. Whatever those things that we stress about still happen and there life, you know, the the waves are constantly coming at you. Maybe life doesn't even change that much. It does. Life >> does change. Life does change. >> But even if it doesn't, you changed. >> Yeah. Yeah. And and life becomes listen easier not as in there's not sardness. Easier as in you have when you're when you're on the shoulders. It's easier. >> I saw a letter that the Reb wrote to Mr. Melando. >> Yeah. >> From um from Florida in the land of Yeshiva. So the Reb writes to him a letter that I I get regards from you from Rabbi Sha Lipkar and I also read the newspaper clippings regarding yourself and your business. Apparently there was some downturn in his business. >> You familiar with this letter? No. But I heard that one on during that downturn what he would do is he would I think he was mamish like I don't know homeless but like mamish didn't have money. He would uh sit in front of Lando Yeshua and just watch the kids playing in the yard. That was his like that could never be taken away from him. Keep >> interesting. He would sit there and with he had no business. He had nothing but he would sit there and just the lounge of Yeshiva was his and that's his >> the Reb writes to him that a true leader in a business is not somebody that's an effective leader when everything is going well. A true leader in a business is somebody that even when things are not doing well uses that out when there's a a as an opportunity to first of all you know recalculate and do things better but also to be like an athlete that have a rights that takes steps back in order to jump over an even higher hurdle. So having beten the real like is like when when things are going well it's very easy to have or you cannot have because you don't need it. You really get muscles when you need it when when the presents you with a challenge. So and one of first of all there's the revolution of the concept of that just thinking positively about it and believing the it will be good can actually transform the reality but this is also the concept that being in that mindset will you know re if the decided this is what's going to happen to you that means it's an opportunity that's a real thing and is giving you this challenge because you can have I mean these are all things that say they're actually real and it's up to every single person to learn and learn and learn right this I just saw someone wrote about depression the said you have to learn right because the is makes you happy learn so you have to you have to plug into all those things and then one or two things can It could be or it could be that you have less of a problem the reality even if reality doesn't change. It's an interesting I can't figure out yet someone could explain to me that the are you okay with the reality or and when is that each other? I recently missed a flight for the first the first time since I'm 17 years. I've only missed a flight twice in my life and I just missed a flight for the first time since I'm 17 years old. Set the alarm the wrong hour and I'm running to the I'm running through the airport trying to make it. And as I'm running, you know, I'm running through JFK. As I'm running, I made a mental note to myself. I don't need to go. I don't need to go. It was the truth. Whatever I was going, I don't need to go. Whatever. I was I was meeting someone. Fine. I don't need to go. I want to go. I kept on running. I I want I I was trying to make the flight, but I I made a mental note that I don't need to go. I got there. I talk I missed my flight by 10 minutes. And she's like, "When do you need to be there?" I need to be there by 10:00 a.m. >> Right. No problem. There's a flight leaving in 20 minutes. She put me on the flight like 20 I ran to the other gate and I boarded my flight gang. So I was thinking afterwards I first of all that was an amazing but so was it like I was was is that apathy that I don't need to go or it's I think I think that's the right balance like do your run to the gate but also don't be committed to that result because a that result may not happen b it might happen a different way and it's all about >> my return flight it was a one day flight my return flight was also delayed 45 minutes. So mish worked out perfectly. >> Find that that the what let's say amuna the the word amuna comes from the word same etmology as practice. >> Mhm. >> Or work. You got to it's it's something um when it's not in a under pressure that's the practice. And then when the pressure happens, that's when it that's when it, you know, the when when when you have to implement everything that you're talking about, you know, you run on a you run on a treadmill. A mole I once ran on a treadmill. A mole it happened. >> It happened once. >> Once happened. I'm all was actually Yeah. Whatever. I won't go into the gory details, but I once was on a treadmill. And uh it happened twice, a second, a third time. And then the guy that I was doing it with, he was on a different treadmill, but the guy that I was doing it with um says, "Now, okay, you have to go in the street. You have to run in the street." >> Treadmill is cute, but to really run, you have to run in the street. So, whatever it was, it was May. It was nice weather. We went out, we started running in the street, and I really on the treadmill, I can run, I would do four miles, let's say. When I went into the street, I can barely do a mile. I asked him like, "What's like why is it so hard when you're doing the same thing?" He says, "It's very different." When you're on a treadmill, you're not actually running. You're picking up your feet fast enough that you don't trip. It looks like you're running. When the guy standing on the side, if you had a green screen behind you, it looks like you're actually running, but you're just lifting up your feet quick that the street underneath you that the the rubber underneath you doesn't trip you. >> Mhm. when you go into the when you go onto the uh onto the road, you actually nothing's moving you. You actually you're doing the exact same movement, but it's a whole different muscle. It's an entirely different experience. So, it stuck with me. You know, you do you do things, you're going through the actions, but it's it's practice. You can't actually know how you're going to per how you're going to perform until you're until you're on the street. But you're doing all these things. you're doing and doing and doing and doing and doing and then and then the day is going to come. You actually have to get on the street. You you can't just start running on the street without going on the treadmill. It's only it's the practice mode until you actually get out there. It takes time. >> Mhm. A lifetime. >> So that you can't wait till you get to the street in order to put into practice. Like it's so important. I mean, it's it's a it's a it's a funny concept because when you don't need it, let's say when you're a baker, you don't have any worries. So then it's not even part of your reality. But and when you get older, but but if you don't but then if you go into the into the world, right, whatever you're doing, you know, when you're in, you're in the world also, right? And then all of a sudden you have to face it, but you have no practice. So then you can't there's no way there's no way you can do it. So it's so it's so vital to to really tap into this. The earlier the better. >> Yeah. Yeah. It takes practice. It takes it does you're talking about it talk I once asked a local guy. He said when's the last time you spoke about God over dinner? He looked at he laughed at me. He's like it's such an awkward conversation. Like if it's not it's not part of the normal conversation to bring up those topics in good company like with your like what what what is the situation actually with your kid that you're bringing it up you know in in in >> what what does that mean what does that mean for our what's a what's an >> if you don't proactively bring it up it's a foreign topic if it becomes part of the conversation David had a I think sh has a v machine David's daughter comes home comes home from school one day and says tab homework to have to tell a story of Ashkaharus. So he says okay come. He goes to the front door and um he opens the door he points out he sees that car there. She says yeah okay that's the fact that you saw that car that that's the story. >> Yeah. >> She's like but but what happened? Like no that's the story. You saw that. That's the the fact that you saw that car is the aster running the world. It's not that you know something bad has to happen and then I get saved because I missed my flight and the plane crashed. Why did why does the plane have to crash in order for me to seek? It's like the plane the plane can survive in like the when you start talking that conversation like oh wow like just random that they should run the world like that becomes part of the lexicon of the conversation. It's it's awkward. It's a weird It's a weird um until you until you start doing it, it's a weird thing, >> right? Okay. So, uh any practical recommendations that you do to this uh this concept? I see you have the sign behind you. Don't worry so much about Don't worry so much about business. More more. >> Yeah, I'm just here and I have my house. I just give it a kiss whenever I walk in the office. >> Whenever I'm overdrawn, it's like >> I don't know all these things. I'm I'm have an aversion to uh I don't know. Listen, every person, baby steps, baby steps. People, everyone has to do things on their on their um wherever you are now, do a drop more. Bringing it back to our the original conversation of uh the your opening monologue, your opening question about let from years, I probably didn't open a book. Like, mom, I shouldn't open a book. I think I forgot to read Hebrew or something. I don't know. Whatever. you know, life is distracted and then I never opened the book. Now that we're already talking for for a while like might have happened, might not have happened. If I'm being honest myself, it didn't happen. And um whatever you know, the problem is becomes a vicious cycle of of once you're not doing you're not, you know, beat up and shame and guilt and all that stuff. Fast forward, the only way I'm able to do to do what I now sit two and a half hours in the morning is is mamish adding five minutes at a time. Literally five minutes at a time. Like there's a story of the deb about that. >> Go ahead. The told somebody, I think I know who it is, but I'm not 100% sure. The told them I think he asked about learning. said learn for five minutes, >> right? And not more. >> Yeah. >> Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> The guy started learning five, right? Started at 10, start at 15, etc. And I u a friend of mine man I can't talk to him because he's he's busy learning the whole par like the says limit you know he has no he has no time to listen to the podcast because he's learn a number of years ago he told me that there was like a that he wasn't learning anything he heard the story he started five minutes every day and now he's uh he's too busy finishing to to do anything else. Mish that mamish that and having having had an aversion or I still have an aversion to like half this and making resolutions and trying to change my life for me that's the only way that worked of literally like not trying to change my life five minutes and then adding one little thing. The the beautiful thing about that is that once you have like an anchor, like if you brush your teeth every morning, it's easy when you're brushing your teeth to then add flossing. Like it's it's not requiring a lifelong change to add a new thing. Like you're already doing one thing, you add a little bit to it. And you don't have to change your life to add one component to it. You're already uh you know doing one thing, you add a little more. Once you have a foundation of an hour, 20 minutes, five minutes, and you let that grow. I know for myself when I make a sheer middle of the day I'm never keeping it. Even a shir at night is hard for me. Like once you get home it's it's day already. You never know where the day is going to go and you never know where what the night's happening at night. It's just lately it works a little better. Just the house is quieter. But in the morning it's still your time. The day hasn't gotten you know I don't turn my phone on till 10:15 till 10:30. My phone's off from the night before. And by slowly incrementing that little little more, you still control your day. You still control your brain somewhat, your schedule, and you don't plan anything till 11 o'clock, till 12:00, you don't plan anything. So in in any area of trying to like implement these things, mamish, these the smallest things that are done are are really the only things that that last or are true genuine change. Anything that happens quickly for me at least doesn't doesn't persevere. Okay. All right. This is a very uplifting conversation and uh if anyone else benefits and uh makes one more from it whether in their mind or in pale mamish and all all connected. So uh it's well worth it. >> The world's a better place thereof. >> Yeah. Okay. Sakaba. [Music]