Ep. 21: Choosing to be a Chossid with Rabbi Moshe Wolberg

has to realize that his connection to the Reb is an connection and that you know of course it's an connection but and you want to do this and you don't want to do that and and and you don't actually you know actualize this actual connection which which we know about but at least first of all we have to know it in our brain and then we have to see to it maybe to to to bring it down into my and hopefully to bring it up at the heart in our heart as well. >> I'm Yasi Cayman. Welcome to among an ongoing faban about life as our vibrant connection with the Reb and inspired living shaped by the way he teaches us each and every day. Rabbi Wahberg, how are you? >> How are you? doing good barashm thank you for uh making the effort to make this happen I guess let's start um I think that you were uh by I know all or most of the rabbis fabans since I I think tal giml I think if that's the right year and from what I understand I think that was part of the you know what what attracted you to the deba in the first place. Um, I don't know. I don't I I don't really know. So, uh, that's my question. Is uh is that is that the case or what's the story there? [gasps] >> I'm I'm not really sure. It's like very uncomfortable to speak about my own stories. I mean, I don't feel that I have really such a serious story. So, I can just just tell you a little bit about myself and know where I'm coming from and uh I think that'll give you the general gist of things. Um, I lived, my parents were both uh survivors, so to speak. They didn't actually, they weren't in the camps, but they both they were both were in Russia during during the war. They both from Poland and uh they came to America and uh we lived in Brownsville on Stone Avenue. That's where we lived. And at that point in time, my father was going to send me to a andra had a bus going to Brownsville, which wasn't really far. Ola at that point in time was on Eastern Parkway between Bedford, between Rochester and uh Buffalo was they had a building. They had two buildings there. I still remember it. And that's where and it wasn't so far from where we lived. And there would there would be a bus coming from the yeshiva to stone avenue picking up a few boys and we went to learn there. So I started learning in Ala and that was my first learning was Mrs. titleb she was the pre18 teacher and then there was yasel writes which was the first grade teacher and then there was uh shervetski was the second grade teacher and I was there for two years but there was no le so I mean my parent I was there >> my parents were in lavage no there's nothing to do with you know connecting to lavage >> so I would imagine even though I don't remember I remember being in camp there as a little child. I'm sure there was a there was a parade in so I was by the parade. I don't uh I don't remember it but I imagined I'm sure went for the parade and I'm sure I was part of that parade. So that was probably the first time I saw the reb was like [clears throat] tough and during that time we moved to Islia. We were in the same class in I live right next to Yanka Shul and there was Melb. So there was a certain connection you know I I knew a little bit about labavich and I knew some labavichers and I would walk from east flatbush to crown heights to on a regular basis it was like as a young child talking about like a seven-year-old 8-year-old I had friends in crown heights not labaviches also because I was learning in teras of crown heights at that point in time and I would go so I would go to 770 And the back and it used to be this small sh of the 770 the back you know the first sh and there would be like tables in the back where the kids would stand and say and whatever maybe hear something of whatever is saying say and then go back home that was that was the and I'm just saying and and as I got a little older so I maybe I stayed a little longer for Venan and I heard some more things and and there was a general attraction action of me to what was going on in 770 to the bakim to the to the to the atmosphere of 770. That's I'm just telling you where it was. Eventually I went to learn in the yeshiva of Staten Island which was the massifa which that was when I was 12 years old. That was when I went to a dormatory. I'm I'm telling you just my life story just so just to avoid your questions and maybe I'll just give you a background and I you know I I knew about Labavich and I I gravitated to Labavich and I was like considered the labavature there. I was considered the labavature in the yeshiva that was like and then I would go you know I remember I think the first actual Fabangan that I went to Fabrangan during the week was like this. I would only go on Shabas. So I remember going from the yeshiva in Staten Island to the which would involve going on the ferry and then taking the train to Kingston Avenue and then going back by ferry at night and like waiting for the ferry and waiting for the bus. were like, you know, I remember like I I still remember singing on the bus stop waiting for the bus after the ferry. I'm just giving you an example of what it was. And that's where I was. So I was like in in the yeshiva there. I was like the labavature and I gravitated to I would come and I was very strongly attracted to it. And then the rest I suppose is history. As things progressed eventually I decided and there was also Tanya Shirim in the yeshiva which may used to send people there would be binyam Cohen from Australia would come give a shir on a regular basis. Shalom beroner gave a shir. There was a time shalom used to come give a shir. Zam zamal lipsker which I think is one of the gabo 770 would give a shir. There would be different people giving shirum there in in in Staten Island and these were all shirim in in it was a share that was done in a car because there was officially there was no share so we would learn >> wasn't allowed and that's what that what happened I'm just telling you the way it was um um what should I tell you more I I still remember like Ramia Feinstein would come Yeshiva like he would come to yeshiva maybe other times he would come. I remember that I heard from the rebba I said the rebba that you know that when's when you only have the of the and not the only theap. So I remember like him being like very uh very very very very like impressed with the with this kapa just I said in the name of the rebba and that was that um maybe I could maybe share another little story which would help anybody. I don't know. I remember I remember my father asking the Reb, you know, settle about a shiddok for for one of my sisters and it was a shiddok about someone that had like some history in the family of not not some connected to health and my father asked the Reb whether he should do the shidd the didn't happen but it's not important that that's that was the Reb he asked the Reb and the Reb told him I'll pee Raviro that was the answer. So I was learning yeshiva in Staten Island. So my father told me I was like Mr. I'm a boy of 1415. So my father tells me I said yes you know I'm there. So yes >> one second can I have two questions for that understanding. >> Number one and you you I'll remember exactly where we are. We're holding with the story of Ramesha. This Yeshiva Satan is part of the network of Ramesha. Yeshiva Ramsha didn't have a network of Yeshiva. There was a yeshiva in this side. >> He was Yeah, he was a Rashiva in that yeshiva and then there was another yeshiva. There was one more yeshiva that was affiliated with that yeshiva. Yeah, that was called the yeshiva which his son Reuven >> ran and he still runs I believe. >> Got it. Okay. And your father was asking these questions. Yeah. >> That means he had on his own to the Reba. >> Not really. I mean, the truth there, my mother worked in Crown Heights in in a in a in in the uh in the um in the bakery on there used to be a bakery on the Avenue near Parkway. So she worked there and Rabbi Rabbi Groner would come there and as a result of that they went into like my mother wanted to go into about an uncle whatever and they went to that was through the connection of my mother meeting Rabbi Groner in the in the uh bakery and uh the rabbitson would sometimes come into the bakery dag and Um so so probably somewhere or another I imagine how would my father get it settled to the reba probably gave it to my mother and my mother maybe gave it to her out of someone I don't know exactly how it happened my mother would come to she wasn't so from 770 am I still on here it's very well so that that's what happened >> and the reb answered you know ra so I remember at that tired of Misha was staying in yeshiva he would stay in the dorm and he would wake up like 4:30 in the morning go down into dal and learn right whatever and it would be like so I also woke up that time and I went over to ask him this question and me with my uh whatever a little bit ignorance so I found I sounded funny to me that this is a question that shakers to sounds more like a question to ab so I remember telling him you know the reb I told him that my father as the Reb and the Reb said he should ask. So my father asked me to ask you my father told me to ask you it doesn't mean to me it doesn't make sense that as a shak something more of like aba type of question and he started like saying no it's certainly first of all everything and the sh is whether whether or not you have for a problem and he was saying that wonder the problem was a problem that happened during childbirth even though it doesn't normally happen. But if it does happen, that's not really a reason to be. And I'm just telling you a little bit a piece of information which I don't know is important or not important. I'll I mean I'll tell you I'll tell you everything that I have to say. I don't think I have much more to say. Now while I during those years I also had a yikas with the rebi. I went into in uh when I was 15 and when I was when Alf and in Topshid B I went into and at that point in time I already like had an interest in learning in Babacha and they asked the Reb whether or not I should go over and learn and the Reb told me that So therefore it's not something that I can make a decision for you. It's something you have to make your own decision. It's totally that's that's how you should make a decision of where you should learn. That was that year that that year that year there was like I was I was supposed to learn somewhere else. I was going to go learn somewhere else in another yeshiva and leel it didn't work out and I went back to my old yeshiva. I I because when I went to is the following year around PES time which is so the Reb so again I wrote to the Reb I said listen I said that I listen I said I I you know the Reb told me but I'm I'm telling you a story which shows you that I'm like a little bit confused I don't really have a lifet I mean I'm I'm I'm saying it maybe very grub right now. I'm sure I wrote it a little but I'm asking the Reb that the Reb should for me. So the Reb said that every person you know could come to this this understanding and therefore you should be on your own where you want to learn and then the Reb finished it off. That was so when I heard the word some other it clinged in my ear that the Reb is saying you should have what to do right you know there there was a one time there said it was also the wrote for the children and there was an argument what it was and there was something the rebba wanted there's a mus So when the reb was saying I felt that I'm just telling you you know could be that was saying but that's what it felt to measel that summer went to Marstown that was the summer of lammed bay I went to Marstown I remember >> how old are you at this point >> I was I just turned 17. >> Mhm. >> I just turned 17. I went to Marstown and I remember you know trying to persuade me not to go to Marstown. It was like many different uh persu trying persuasions you know I remember hearing a vert from somebody over there saying that you know you if you go to liquid now you go to brisk you'll always be able to go to labavich but if you go to labavich there's not a chance much much of a chance that you'll end up in lake or in brisk that's that that was the the he told me which was true actually >> true and uh and Leel I went to Marsan while I was in Maran there was also not such a clarity in me about staying in fact it was like mish to go and lame it was me which was like the me to stay but I'm just saying it's not like he did something which was like nothing you know it was it was it was something it was like a it was uh a very maybe a a not clarity on my part and that's what happened. So then I ended up going >> something that said or just being around him. We there was a like actually and that it was like the decision was made took a lot of mashka and whatever it was without getting involved in the details maybe just mention >> yeah but just to just to mention me and then you know in this that probably the last time I met was I once went to Marstown for a shabas before you know shabas aus so they would bring people to fabang so I I wasn't probably from England I went to Marstown to Fabang and there was someone sitting there which that person was in Marstown as a result of me which a connection a family connection so I felt that I was the one that that ended up a boy from Brazil so he ended up being in Maran as a result of me so I told me I was sitting next to me so I told me that this bakar is here because of messes is that's what I'm just saying Melik's response to that. So, um I think I told you pretty much everything pretty much everything. I mean there's like a story which was printed and it was said and different versions but I could tell you the version that I know about and that was that uh is this you know it's a true it's a true story maybe brings out something gives you a little bit of a herish that uh I I used to put on film used to put on film the truth of the matter is my father himself came from a family where they didn't put on film columnates when he came to America >> your father was like >> my father came from a background his his father was a his father was a yid that went to traveled to his grandfather I think went to see so he came from from background but he he was a yasim as a young child his father passed away when he was his mother passed away when he was eight or nine years old and uh he went to he he learned in yeshiva's nard which in bialto so he like is more of a liter yeshiva mus yeshiva I'll call upon him and that's how really he ended up being saved during the war because he wasn't in his home he wasn't in his home he was in yeshiva and he ended up going to va and then from there escaping to Russia but alai >> huh He was in Shanghai. >> No, no, no, no, no. [clears throat] He was in Russia almost that route. Okay. Yeah. >> No, no, no. He was there was this maybe as far but he ended up being in Siberia because he went to Russia with a bunch of people Galinsky with a bunch of friends and then they were arrested. They were arrested in Russia and they were sent to Siberia. That's really what saved them. >> In any case, what was I saying about my father? Because he cuz he put on so he started putting on film because when he came to America he had a job that he that he felt he had to work and someone told him he's working and put on really remember speaking to didn't feel that there's any truth to it but that there's only any validity to but I remember like but I was putting out film made and you know I started like davening and film the keshabad I'm saying this all changed when I came to Maristan till I'm maristan I did I I had what I whatever I got from my father's and um and my was also the I always learned to dav and but to change not to wear was something that I didn't feel comfortable it was like not to wear I just didn't feel comfortable so I put on film then and lupel when I went I wrote into the Reb that I I put on and I'm asking should I continue or should I stop you know I I'm doing all of should I change or shouldn't I change that was the question that I asked the rebba and in those years you would have to bring into the rebba settle from the hala in other words you would bring your own settle you would give it to the rabbi I don't remember how you would give it you'd give it both together into the reb's hand cuz the settle your own settle you know the Reb would stick out his hand and you would hand it to the Reb's hand but the settle would probably you would hand both together you' probably end your settle which was an open setle and you would also hand a closed envelope with the anal's uh writings about you or whatever and the Reb read the the letter the way the Reb would read it you know with his moving his hands on it and then The Reb opened the letter of Dan Hollow. He opened the letter of Dan Hollow and like the Reb is looking at this letter and this letter like look back and forth a few times and then the Reb asks me he says. So I said yeah. She says so I said yeah. She says so I say no. She said so I said yeah that was the questions went back and forth she said that's what he said that's what I remember the saying even though I'm not really sure that it's that that it says that in but that's my recollection of right now and then also is that recollection of I told you very clearly not to >> clear not to >> the fact you put on in the past you should ask it of >> maybe what she should do now maybe yeah >> whatever I don't know but that's what he told me it was very clear so I remember coming out of feeling a very like very very elated like the like by the that I have no business putting on film. I remember I remember remember walking out of theas feeling very u maybe the word accepted I don't know if that's a right word but like feeling like that that the Reb was telling me that this is where you belong you're not whatever something like that I I'm telling you only my my feelings my at that point in time this is all I think Ed somewhere I I've said this over even though there's people have all kinds of different which I think is but of this of this particular story but I don't really have much more to tell you. I mean >> I have a question. >> Okay. >> Among is brought to you by we live in a chaotic world. A world where for us is au we do not have the ability to hear and see the on a daily basis. Yet we know that the is very much with us and is alive and thriving more than ever before. One needs to only tap [music] into it. provides you and your family with the tools necessary to tap into all of this. 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You can be part of deher through your financial support as well through visiting our website deher.org or through contacting us to setting up a meeting. Thank you very much. Enjoy the rest of the podcast. My question is and the story how it happened I just heard from you and I we we once did an interview in stuff printed in over the years. I've seen written things uh from you to this effect. Did the contradiction >> that I don't remember already. I think I remember the [clears throat] article came out and I was in Maran. So I was reading it in Maran about your learning in Maran. But um I also not um so my question for you is what I what I what I I would like to understand is you know Lakewood or Bisque or or Labavich and and you're not sure which one. So obviously something's attracting you to Labavich. What what what is it? I I I can't really pinpoint it. It's not like you know you know say you know I don't think I was such a tifa person and I don't think I was such an ad person. There was a certain a certain it's very hard for me to explain it. There was certain vibes. There were certain feelings by the rebans by feeling by being part of the Reb's people was something which was very attracted. What is it about? What is it about the >> I don't know. I don't know exactly. I don't know exactly. To be mas you to be masu there's like a certain uh I I it's hard for me to explain and and I mean maybe in my mind I could explain it but to verbalize it would be difficult. There's a certain let me maybe try to put it a little like adidal. Maybe maybe this is more than it really is. There is a mitas of a person [clears throat] that has a certain feeling and there's a certain mitas of a person that's lost in a feeling. In order there's a mitas of you have a person that the mitz is there. It's just that the se is somehow another involved in the person and then there's a matas where the person becomes so lost in the se that that the whole person is only the I'm not I'm not explaining it well and maybe I'm not you know understanding it well but there is the same mits of coming to and there was a mus that somehow or another you lost yourself that there was a certain losing yourself and is like that this is really what it's all about. In other words, there's being yourself and then having this feeling that feeling but you all you don't lose yourself and then there's a mitas of some another coming to a situation and losing yourself losing yourself to the situation. I'm not going to you know it's going to sound like out by Grace Rodriguez was very far from holding by big Madrigg but in a certain that was the union and that was also what Mel spoke about in that of the what he was speaking about was I remember I mean I can just tell you he says there could be a of someone that's it but That's only the surah of the person that's it. In order to be there, you have to be in there and and and to lose yourself there m if you hold yourself in your and you don't have an external sear on your existing tier. So that's not it. I I'm not really sure if this is the format to be discussing what I'm discussing right now. And I'm not really sure that what I'm saying is really so uh so clear or accurate. >> I'm not sure if I understand. >> I'm not sure you understand either. I'm looking I'm looking at the expression in your face and I'm trying to interpret the expression on your face. It looks reminds me a little bit of by sheer this morning when I was speaking in shar I was trying to interpret. >> I hope one person understood it. >> I am. So >> do you think I mean is it clear a little bit what I'm saying? I think what you're saying is that that there's an auda of I think the whole your whole approach it was that you want to be you know part of the part of the deban and part part of >> well you want to lose yourself you want to lose yourself you you retain there's a retaining yourself and then you know adding some nice color to it and there's a mitas of some or another you felt by the reb that the is to lose yourself into the which is connected to the again I don't want to speak like we're talking at I think uh >> so so I think we exhausted this So let me move on. I I I think are you saying that the experience forget about your journey but the the whole idea of being let's let's talk about for now you're you're by the for five hours and this and there's a certain I mean the feeling that you have is probably one of being uplifted but it's it's something that you're you're taken out of your of your uh whatever whatever gastiness is going on by you and the Reb put puts you in a in a different place. Is that is that is that >> obviously obviously it doesn't mean that during the you can't have all kinds of and all kinds of you know going off on tangents with with uh with you know it doesn't mean that way you're not you're not in the in you're not transfixed you know you can have all kinds of mak and all kinds of but there there's an accuda of the fabangan you know was a certain theud of losing yourself and that could of losing yourself was something that that that was a certain feeling that could only be if you're part of it. You know there's a famous that that he heard says was everybody knew about Yamsu. Everybody knew about Chris the union of Yamsu. But Leel there was Malik. Amalik also knew about Yamsu. So how was Amalik able to come after Yamsu? The answer is because Amalik heard from Dervitans. From the vitans he knew about it. is it didn't change him. He himself remained himself. He just he became aware of something of and then there was realized that in order for something to happen for him to really change he has to be so you know I remember the person trying to convince me that uh not to go learn he says I'm sure the rebba would want there should be like his people planted in all kinds of different places. I'm sure he has that interest of having you know person you know this yeshiva that yeshiva person connected to him. So could be the of the is that you should be here that that we remember him saying but I'm saying what's the difference between being there you're there you know you had a little bit I I went to the reb heard the rebba but it wasn't the same it wasn't not the same because you you're you're an observer and you're watching and maybe you're taking in and maybe you're taking more in but it's not you're not part of it being part of it is is a whole different story and that was a whole different experience and that that was worth to me more than maybe excelling in other in that maybe I would have thought I maybe wanted that I could excel. >> So let's um maybe we should go back to the story a little bit. So you you stay you you stayed in Marstown then after that year >> for a year in Marstown. No, I went to stay in Maran that year then I uh was the 770. I went to 770 and I was >> um for how many years? >> Oh, so it's a nice nice amount of years. [snorts] So who was the u and in 770 what was what was happening? Is it like what was the uh >> in 770? Really the my first year in 770 I didn't really have anything to do with Rabiel cuz you know actually we were in and wasn't didn't give him in 770. So really could be in 770 not have anything to do with um you know that's that was like a lot of things happened but in we there was a group of a lot of went then the sent and to and to and to to France and to Montreal. There were a lot of sent those years. Let me put it this way in in Daled from the that I was in Marstown a a good a group of brim went to Miami that's when the yeshiva Miami began label Shapiro went to Miami like 11 10 11 Bram went from that kita Mars down to Miami then the rest of went to 770 and um then in A group of Bakrams also including our share went to Ocean Parkway. Ocean Parkway. There was like always a group of Bakram going to Ocean Parkway and the comeback of that was that Rabiel would be the Mashia and Rabiel would come to give a shir in Ocean Parkway and that's when I learn started learning about Rabiel. That's when I got to know Rabiel. That was in L. >> You're one of the bak that went to Oceanan Parkway. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was one of the B that went to Ocean Parkway and then we there l and then L 12. We came back to 770 and then we were there 12. We're there in 77 all those years. those years 770 >> and during those years what was your like coming from coming from where you came from and then being in 770 there's different attractions that people have some of it it's and everything that the is doing some people it's the some people it's I don't know whatever it is what was the thing that like anchored you that that you're there. >> I'm not really sure how to answer the question started the new which was really strongly initiated by was very strongly involved in it. And then you explain a little bit what was happening before what was happening what was the name >> they were always there used to be anus used to write then didn't write so much the in the regular way then there was different people wrote the nois but anis weren't coming out regularly there wasn't like there used to be an aus written down in yiddish through the what would be called the van And those hanis stopped coming out regularly. They would coming out periodically. I'm not really sure who would be involved in giving out those hanis. But um from really tough lame daled is when David Feldman came from to America as a baker and he would give out on his own mish on his own without anybody. He would give out inh more not so not so from what he wrote during but it wasn't the gather of didn't happen anymore and then it was reestablished and then David Feldman would write the sikas Greenlat would write the mamarim. Uh here would be doing a lot of typing and being involved in a lot of things. There would be icky iky posner was the mania of like the the money of of of what the mason needed. There was gbam was something over there. I don't remember exactly. There were different people that worked over there and mand those people that worked over there. I worked also a little over there. I was involved a little bit in writing the man of misus or the sikhas a little bit and we didn't have that time you know today is much easier you know with the computers and that time you know we would have to sit down we would go I remember like it would be like a night spending a night in uh in the levak library downstairs over there with the different that you know different that would help us maybe find things and uh that's all we do So that was a little bit of an involvement for a few years in these. I'm just telling you this is thing and then you know we learn I mean we had to learn some 70 >> but I imagine you only got involved in that because you were uh someone that was able following Fabangan. >> All right. Well I don't know. I'm not sure what she meant to learn Fabangan. No, you were following the you. >> Yeah, it wasn't so much to follow. There was there was things they wrote and then you had to find the cave wouldn't say where you know so you have to find it. You have to find it and sometimes it wasn't easy to find it. I remember the Reb one time taking which was given out by and the Reb like going through it and like you know like saying you know you saying a sing whatever it was like wasn't very happy about it. >> Mhm. And >> this is No, it's like uh but >> you you weren't you weren't uh Yeah. I wasn't I was just helping a little bit. Wasn't the case mentioned. >> You weren't you weren't part of the >> I could go to Khazar probably but uh had nothing to do with the in others to do what I did. I didn't have to give >> right. So you just have to work off the off the you have to you have you have to know some though >> that helps a little bit. One of the integral components of being a whether it's or these days give us an opportunity to connect with our to connect with each other and be better. What is the story behind each of these days? How did the Reb commemorate and celebrate these days? 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So afterwards I mean you stayed in Crown Heights all the years you were you worked >> I was teaching >> started teaching yeah >> that's what you did the whole time when you were in Kites >> yes from >> the L of less I went into >> okay so and that's a I mean it's a unique thing because you're you're married and you're in Crown Heights and you're but but you're still you didn't leave so you're still there every Shabas like it's a it's a that's that's a unique thing. Um so my question for you is maybe we'll move on to I mean you're dealing from lame till today with right and then Manchester um so my my question is um I know you fing a lot for Bahim And what are the my question is what is the what do you what's the main thing that you try to you think is important to impart to bahim I don't know about today or always like what's something that that either is lacking or that needs uh needs to be strengthened which which by extension means everyone because we were all months and this is things that are um I mean in today's world I think it's very important for Baker to know that his shik is I mean maybe it's more because of my background he he he has to really appreciate that he really has a pis with the rebar should understand you know a bakr in the yuds didn't have to impress upon himself that he had a shik with the rebba the rebba was there for him was there he was leas didn't have to think that the rebba is the rebba knows who he is and the rebba is caring about him etc etc not shim kalazerov and not and not all these people were there and now which was later but but as it went in the lammed so then there could be a mitas of a baker that wasn't really sure whether the rebban knows who he is there could be a mitas of a baker that wasn't really sure if the rebba knows who he is and certainly the mems and then Now there's now. So a bakra has to understand that this this concept this understanding means understand he has to he has to really impress upon himself just like you know. So a person has to know that there is a personal relationship between him and the it's not like the is looking at him as a just a number. There's a mus that there is a relationship between every and every and every with the and and that's a true and something which is true. It's not something which is morgish. It's not something which you feel regularly naturally. It's something which you have to work on to understand that that's the truth. And and a person has to realize that the truth doesn't depend on arrogation is we have to realize that there's a truth which is not totally in our arrogation and you know we could try to be marish this truth we could try to develop a certain you know a feeling of bringing this truth closer to ourselves but that doesn't mean that the truth is dependent it's not contingent on the way we feel and that's something which we always have to talk about we have to talk about this idea that this that that that this every bakr and every person is very very dear and very personal connection to the Reb and and you know you can make a the Reb spoke so much in about the which is connected to the Reb which is connected to the Reb that is part of the Reb. So how much more so aid that's how much he's part of the reb is part of the reb so so a is part of the and he has to understand that and then he has to understand that he has and he has the ability to be able to to to bring that out and the idea is that a person you know the rebba gives us the you know the idea of the theb wants to be knows we and the rebba are not two things. It's not that there's a and there's us and we I remember saying over from that that uh you know there's a question ask to to to be upon you you know >> so what about asking a reba. So the answer is when you're going to a reba you're not going to someone else. So the dogma is he says you have a problem with your foot. So your head is asking for your foot. Why is your head asking for your foot? Is the foot the foot the foot is the problem? Well the answer is because the head and the foot are one thing. If there's a problem with the foot is the problem in the head. The head feels the problem with the foot. So when a person understands that his relationship to the he has to like it's not something which is what what I'm saying right now is not something I'm saying because I have a herish we have to realize the truth you have to realize the truth that there's the truth the truth the way it says in the way the truth the way it says in the way it says and then we have to bring that truth into ourselves to think about the truth and internalize the truth and to understand that that's our truth whether we feel the truth we don't feel the truth. We have to try to become closer to that truth. And I think that's what we have to bring about. Of course, we have to bring about doing the right things and knowing what what what's expected of us. We have to bring about that as well. I mean, everybody in his in you know going, you know, doing the things that are expected of him. But there's a certain general idea which uh is something which should also be discussed. Again, it could be it's connected to my general, you know, >> so maybe I have more of a >> do I'm saying the what brought me here in the first place. >> So why so why is it why is it so important to feel that or to know that? >> Why is this important to know? I think that's really the first thing of aass first thing of aud that is that that's the first that his are different they're not I'mas a a regular mitz and I just have different obligations. I have different I have different mitzvah person has to realize there is that that's the has to realize that his connection to the is connection and then you know of course it's connection but and you want to do this and you and and you don't actually, you know, actualize this actual connection which which we know about. But at least first of all, we have to know it in our brain and then we have to see to it maybe to to to bring it down into hopefully to bring it up down the heart in our heart as well. This is a question what I'm saying. >> So, so what does a bak do any person what does a person do to um I mean there's yah you have to know about it. What what what's some what's something what's something that a person could do to I mean I I know you don't you said notation but obviously if you feel it then it's more has a is not only to your but also to and your emotions are involved what does what does someone do to and arouse this >> okay so there's there's these are the a person has to be a person The ash you have to know about it. Then a person could think about what the Reb did for him. You know, every person has his, you know, particular story, a little story, a little hair, his father, his, you know, people, you know, what the Reb did for all kinds of different people. know a person is and those things that are this level of this level of I'm reminding myself so uh I just remember my mother in the summer of Lamemed Daled had an operation And they gave her a mismatch of blood which means they gave her the wrong blood and that caused that her kidneys should stop working. This was in tough and like she was because she was in a hospital that they didn't have a dialysis and somewhere another I'm not really sure how my father was piled that they should get her to be moved from that hospital. who was through Turski from Bar Park and at Copon and uh she was moved to downstate hospital where she had a diialysis but she was on a diialysis and there was like it it was like in a very very mativ and they wanted to do a certain test on her which I wasn't really sure it made sense to do the test I was a baker then so I remember running to 770 and going into meas to write down let's settle to the rebba to ask the Reb whether I should make the test, where I should make the test. And I wanted to put like some money into the P. I'm asking Abra. So, I had like $20 in my pocket. So, I put $20 into that settle and I gave it to label growner. Now, label told me that the Reb is really about to leave. Reb is about to go home. He was going to go home like the the afternoon. The Reb would go home the afternoon for an hour, like 4:30 or something. And I probably started crying and saying that it's like really really an emergency. So he took the settle and he walked over to the door. Remember to reb's door, knocked on the door. The Reb opened the door and he gave the Reb to settle and like a minute or so later the Reb came out. And on the way out he gave he gave a label growner I don't know if it was only that settle or maybe other set as well with an answer and the answer was I should do it maybe ask probably and then the reb sent out I remember instead of the $20 bill he sent out a 10 and two fives and he said that they should give me a cabola from maybe I think was the was the name of the receipt which sounded very funny you know $20 getting a cabal it didn't make sense to me like mishk so I understood that mbb wants I should have something from him to bring to my mother that's that that that's the way I understood it I remember taking the the receipt and putting it under her pillow and um the pale barashem you know things I'm not I'm not saying immediately but barashm the one with the kidney started reworking she lived like another another 10 years actually after that but upon him I'm just I'm just giving you a little story of something where people had you know you know the reb is on his way out and I'm not saying like you know it's you know it's like it's not like you Like everything is always you know let's give give him a cabal give him a you have to you know you have to understand that is giving me something is like he's giving me something it's like you know there's little little things of the reb which you which you don't notice you don't you have to just think about it think about where the reb would like take an extra like time I mean while I'm here I'll tell you Another story which you know stories are good. My father I don't remember him ever being by the reblat and certainly not but for some reason or another there was one time that he was there and maybe it was pes and he was staying at my house. Not I'm not 100% sure really what what the circumstances were and the made Abdullah And my father, you know, heard abdul from the but he was thinking whether or not he should be because my sister he needed to make Abdul probably from my sister and you know sis women normally don't make abdah themselves and and if he's going to hear abdah he's not going to be able to be her. So he wasn't really sure whether was making abdah should he be or not. So in his mind he decided that I'll make it tonight that if I'm gonna make Abdullah later for my daughters with so then I won't be and if I won't make Abdullah later then I will be that was the Tonight that he made in his mind when the Reb started making Abdullah and they're made of and then you know everyone went for and he also went for I don't what you know it was went for and normally give they would just pour and people would go by but when he got so the Reb turned to him and asked him why isn't he drinking the wine which is very unusual very very very unusual so my father got very moveal and he just started taking the wine to his mouth said My father told me he wouldn't have made a because he was like he wouldn't have made a so so he made a man answered said and then he drank it. So obviously he didn't make him know but somehow or another it was like the Reb took an interest like no one would know this but the Reb took an interest for my father to be Abdullah from him that was that's the only beer somewhere or another it was the Rebel it was important to the Reb you know this is like in the seconds that's going on for the Reb to be interested in him being I mean I don't see any other beer I mean but uh just a a tidbit of information which this to you >> were there were there other instances that you uh saw the interest with you personally I know there was later I mean is it was there was there other things >> there There were times that I would give very very warm braas to me in different different instances. Um, not something I could really talk about right now. >> You don't want to share? >> It's not I won't want to share. I'd like to share, but it's not so glatic. >> Okay. Um so so this is something that uh I guess it's an that uh that people should strive to to achieve. Let me ask you a question. When you were >> May let me just take one more thing. I think a person has to also be misan and how much the Reb gave away from himself for us on a regular regular basis. on a regular basis. I mean, you know, the Reb was involved totally. In other words, I'm going to say something maybe sounds very very stupid and it's and I think I said it to people, but they look at me like a little bit funny. You know, the Reb's room was a very small room. Everyone knows the way it was the all the years the Reb's room now the Reb's room is empty. But the Reb's room was piled up with Sparim. It was like full of there was like you'd walk into there would be on the floor till the covered over with papers and the table was clear because they cleared it for but normally the table wasn't clear either. The Reb normally by the table never sat by the place where he sat by. He had like a little corner of his table where he sat on a regular chair and that's where he would write. That's where he would write maybe when when the mas would come in and he would have to dictate the could be who sat in. I I don't know how it would I don't know how but I imagine so the reb was there. So like you think to yourself like a regular pur like thinking purb would pur would in the morning 10 to 12 12:00 pretty much would be finished would go up to his room he give then he would come in and all kinds of you know things happening for him and then whatever the dum was and then it would be m would be 3:15 and after mka certain time after mka the reb would go home for sudas purum which didn't take very long an hour whatever like a regular afternoon and then the reb would come back to his room he didn't didn't come down back to a couch he didn't go back to a recliner he didn't go back to a rocking chair he went back to the regular room which is full full of swaram which he had a little little corner in his of the desk that he could ride on or put a safer over there with a regular chair and that's where he would spend the next few hours until the faban till the you know you have one of you have to bring today so you have to want to lie down a little bit want to rest a little bit there was no resting there was no was constantly involved in trying in in doing his his which whatever But they're learning and davening and writing and answering and doing just to think about it. Just to think about it. And here we are here and and the Reb wants to to to to to encourage us and to connect to us and we should connect to him and he should connect to us and we should bring Mashiach down. That's what the Reb wants. That's that's what the Reb is all about. That's is all about that's what is all about. So I think if we think about it in a more personal real maybe I'm maybe talking to aik it could bring down epis I'm looking at your expression when you have these expressions I'm not really sure how to interpret them. I am enjoying every word. >> Very good. >> When when you're um when you were a bak in 770 I mean you said this story with your mother and this type of a aaa which you're describing. Is that something that you felt then or it's something that developed over the years? >> I think I felt it then. No, I think I felt it that maybe I felt over the years as well, but I think I felt it then. >> So, is it is it more challenging today after Thomas to feel it than it was uh when when you when you were B in 770? I mean I would say in today's world there are there are tob not any less than that's what I feel you know need guidance we always needed guidance you always needed guidance but there's a certain ismas which is a tif is it just has to be guided in a way that it should be the way the right You know people have a stress and and goes out into all kinds of and things of and you need to have guidance and you have to have also people that are and loyal to the Reb and normal normal in the sense of having a Yeshu and and and and to the Reb and uh doing the right things. That's that's what we need. But the the are for it. Just the problem is that there's all kinds of which are uh which are causing people, you know, from people that are maybe whatever either not so or not so normal. If you're [clears throat] allowed to say such a thing, you have to have normal people that are dedicated and loyal to the Reb in a real real way and being not notabid. Um, I think you're talking about a baka that's interested and he's saying that he should go on the on the on the proper I guess. What about what what about a baka that he's not so into it like like is that more prevalent or or more of a challenge today? What do you say to him? >> I don't I don't not sure what you could say to him. I think what we have to do is do I mean I I I'll share with you just a story that I heard not from a labeer source and I told someone the story and then the person told me a labeer story connected to the source. I'll tell you both stories. The first story was a story that I just heard lately from on a WhatsApp from a from a person said a story that there was a person that was there was a mitzvah I'm not sure and this person was a wealthy person the person who was making the party and he had an expensive very expensive 2 L bottle of wine He he said the name of the wine. I don't I don't I didn't I don't remember the name of the wine, but it sound like we're talking about bottle of wine. In my mind, the way he described it was a bottle of wine that wasn't less than $1,000. Such a bottle of wine. And then someone working the kitchen went ahead and opened the cork, opened the bottle, and the masg saw it. The mas just saw this person an hour ago or so being shabas with another group of other people was smoking. This person probably was officially a boy but he was being shabas unfortunately and he saw it. saw it was and in his mind. So he opened the bottle of wine and the wine is obviously with such expensive wine. So he took this big bottle of wine and he poured it down the sink like a good Jew. But then he was also a good Jew. He goes over to the balabos of the of the uh of the event and he tells him what happened. He says, you know, this is this person, I don't know if he told him the name of the person that actually opened the wine, but he says someone opened the wine. He saw this person named Shabas. So he felt it was and he poured this wine down the sink. So the guy tells him, "You did very good. You did the right thing. I appreciate it." And you could tell the other person, whoever he is, that I have no ties to him because he also did the right thing. He opened the bottle of wine. He didn't realize that he's making the wine. Nobody meant to do anything wrong. And you know, we'll just pass by it. And that's the end of that story. This guy was very impressed with this person's reaction. So he goes over to the worker and he tells the worker, "I want to tell you that I told the boss, I tell you, I saw you open the bottle of wine. I saw you smoking a cigarette an hour before. As a result of that, I poured the bottle of wine down the sink. I told the boss about it. The boss said, "I did very well." He told me to tell you, not that he knows who you are, that you also did fine. No worry about it. The reason I'm telling it to you is you should know that there are nice people in the world and you should one day also be nice to somebody. That was the end of the story over there. Two years later, this Masak meets this person and this person tells the Masak, I want to tell you that that story, you know, you saw me being Mah Shabas unfortunately, but since then I was never mal Shabas because of that story. This is a story that I just heard two days ago. So, I told it over to somebody. I don't remember who I said it over to. I don't remember who I said it over to. So the person tells me that there's such a story in the in Thailand. He was there was rash and he had a big rash a few hundred people and rash in the morning someone comes over to him. He asks him to blow sha for him. She says blow sha we're going to blow sha and we're going to d so you'll hear then he says no no no I have a flight that I have to catch but before I go on the flight I want to hear because I promise someone or whatever I want to hear because conversation with him what's the rush to have this flight you already had the flight she says listen you stay here for a shashan and I'll pay you for your flight after a shashan I'll I'll pay for it the guy listen. He said, "Okay." So he stayed for a shash and he paid for his flight and four weeks later he calls up. He said, "I want to tell you that I wasn't ashamed of Shabas and I was able to fly. It was no problem. But since then for last four Shabbas I didn't I wasn't Shabas." These are two little stories which is a little bit of little inspiration to us in how we try to influence people. In other words, to show that we care and we're interested. I'm not I'm not saying that we don't have to explain things to them, but uh I figure let me share this with you. I hope I'm not taking up too much of your time. You're saying this in Hamsh to what I asked about Abak that needs to >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I think I think if Abak feels that you really care for him, you really care for him and that he's you have an interest in him and you're willing to do something for him. So, so there's a a reciprocal uh relationship. There has to be a a a sincere interest, a sincere interest. And that's really, you know, the success of the are also when you when you when you when you really show that person you're interested in them, you're really interested in them. You're really trying to help them. You're not you're not you're not trying, you know, like someone asked someone, "Are you going to get any brownie points if I put on film or something?" Well, I'm really interested in you putting on film and and let's say I'm not really interested in putting on film. So, you have to try to develop an interest. You have to develop an interest. You're really interested that this bakr should understand how to learn. You're really interested that this bakr should develop a certain relationship with the Reb. you're interested in this buck should should tak more of a connection to so you have to work on yourself that you have to you have to work on yourself that you should have that interest it's not so much working on him it's more work >> takes a lot of need to have a lot of >> right we do that's what has to happen have a lot of you have to have a lot of you have to have dedication and you have to realize what you're doing is important. That's the first thing you have to realize that you're doing is very very important. Very very important. You know, there's certain people I remember I mean this is maybe it's not nice to like say so I remember once being by the oil and a person coming over to me and whatever he's he's he comes over to me. I know who he is. He never learned by me and he tells me this I want to tell you. He says, "I learned in I was in Shiral and I was like not really a buffer of learning in Dal. It was a p that I'm not going on after she dal I'm going to go. My father has a business. His father has a business. I'm not going to say his name, but his father is a is a very very fine and he has he's aged and he has a good business and it was a that he is going to join his father's business. And then we had a faban. We had a faban and whatever something was said by the faban during that faban that touched him was it was legis like what do you really want your children to look like? You know I think that was the what what do you really want your children if you want to know what you really want? You want to know what do you want your children to look like? Do you want your children to look like you or do you want your children to look like someone else? And if you want your children to look to someone else, so maybe you have to think about being that someone else and and and maybe that was the and somewhere there was something was and it really very much hit home and he came that night and he made a he made a decision that he wants to go but there was no sh going. He was he was a he was a a complete failure and shared dialot and then he went to the manal that time and uh and and he spoke to him and the guy like laughed for me what are you talking there's nothing to talk about no this and that later on I found out he didn't tell me that they wrote to the rebing he went on he went on and l he tells me he was hundreds of people that's what he tells this guy told He's not a right now. He's he's a I think he's working. >> No, he wasn't. He went on a bish. >> But then now as as a younger man, I'm not 100% sure if he's on now as a young man. I'm not sure. I don't I'm not sure. Not sure. But he told me he was of many people. Maybe hundreds of he was m of many people since then. And he's saying it's all because of that fabangan that we were sitting together and and he was touched. What happened? There was no there's no it was like a certain you have to you have to you have to try to to impose upon someone give a little bit of your heart. I think I mean I'm not sure if I'm in the position to to stop this uh conversation but that I spoke more than I really wanted to say. I probably said more things than I wanted to say but I didn't say anything which anyone's going to have times to me that I said but uh >> I I I think it's more popular when >> I think it's more popular when you say things that people don't want to hear. I think that's uh that makes it more popular. Okay. So, we'll have to we'll have to do a part two when you're ready to do that. >> I hear you. I hear you. >> Okay. >> Wberg and uh you should be in your and uh we should all be in our and uh that's it should be better. Thank you very much. Amen. >> Amen. >> You're very welcome. All the best. Zazit. Zazit. >> [music]