Ep. 10: Shlichus in Chinuch with Rabbi Michoel Dahan

We know the stories about getting a letter from the Reb for your child, for your baby, for your and you wonder if it's the same knows who you are. Bal wrote this say your name. Everybody gives the same letter. It could be that everybody got uh the same letter, but each one of those letters was addressed directly and specifically to you to you. to the point in which not only the Reb know your name and he knows who you are in this letter but the Reb knows your birthday and he mentions it and this is also a very very important thing to realize that when we ask from the you know the is is is the of the is your of you the individual that you are >> I'm Yasi Cayman welcome to among An ongoing faban about life as aid, our vibrant connection with the Reb and inspired living shaped by the way he teaches us each and every day. Rabbi, how are you? >> Thank you for hosting. >> Of course. Of course. Thank you for making it happen. And uh I'm ready to begin. Let's let's do this. >> Sure. So I was thinking um I one time I uh sat with you by Fabring many many years ago. I was very young. I remember I was like inspired by what you were talking about. So may maybe that's the last conversation. That's the last meaningful conversation we had. We've been always saying hello to each other since then. But this that's the last meaningful conversation I had with you. So let me start off with that. Take where where that where that left left off. So I remember you were talking about um how you wanted I think the wasing for the maybe it was you you'll tell me and you wanted to come from far away only to hear and you you kept on repeating a certain so that's what I remember so I don't remember where were you coming from what were you doing what were you talking about I just remember that I had an impression on me. So maybe you could fill in the blank over there. Well, firstly, um I it's impressive that you remember Fabian from so many years ago. You know, sometimes you know, you go you sit down with you don't you don't necessarily know if anybody's listening if uh if anybody's going to remember whatever it is that you say. And then to hear that uh maybe 20 close to 20 years later, you still remember what I said with the Fabian. It's very impressive because I I don't even remember everything I said. I don't much I remember. Uh I'll tell you for me it was memorable for me because I was very young maybe 14 or 15. I think it was the first time in my life that I stayed up till it was Nissen. It was the first time in my life I stayed up till I don't know 4 in the morning. Fabing. So that that was the first experience for me. So uh I I felt I felt uh mature. So maybe that's why I remember. But I also remember what you said had an impression. >> Okay. Gun's good. So um to to start I mean you're starting really with the bank uh this MA actually happened to um I want I was on in Bruna which is actually where I'm from and uh there's a lot of this very interesting from >> I'm from Paris >> from Paris okay >> I'm from Paris my father was in buno my parents got married in bunoa and then they moved to Paris um but that's you know I learned in buna And then actually I went on >> So sorry could you could you could you backtrack a little bit? Your parents are from where? They living in Paris. You're going they went to how'd that happen? You could tell us if you want or >> Sure. Sure. Sure. Uh well actually my father was one of the first talidim in the sha in mcnes init. How did he end up there? Is also an interesting story. He was actually he was a Yasam who was very young. His father was a in in a village and he passed away. My father was uh was very young. By the time my father was 10 years old in in came to the village and he went to the shul that's where the was and he said to the >> Mhammed document >> either it was I think may have been um you know otherim that were then at the time and um he sent he went to the and he said to the opening sh and we need we So the Muhammad said, you know, this this little kid is a Yasim. Go ask his mother. And uh so he went and my grandmother was very happy to send him. Why was she so happy to send him is because after my grandfather passed away, uh his younger brother was was a banker. So it was, you know, more of a man of the world. So he came and he told my grandmother, "I'd like to take uh your son in in the big city in Kazablanca. I'll send him to school. I'll make him a whole man. She'll be a businessman like I am." My grandmother says, "No, his father was a he's going to be a he's going to be an ishiba." >> So she told him, he told her, "What upon him do a whole day?" They seeed the book and they seldac. So when the came was soon after this m she was very very happy to send my father away. So he was only 10 years old and he went to the mcess when he was 14 years old. Um his uh 14 going to 15 his uh group was up to continue and continuation was in Bonoa. So he was from the first talidim in the yeshiva in mcnes and he was from the first ka that went from mcnes to buna. Um my mother was interestingly enough from the same village in Morocco but uh she came to France. She first went to Biska in Morocco and then from there she was 12 years old also she went to France to Biska also same thing a group of girls were going and uh she was there then eventually uh they got married actually very interesting story since you know if we have time I could tell you uh >> uh time is not time is not a problem so >> okay a very interesting story about about the actually printed those letters in a chur I made for one of kids one of my sons. Um there is uh I I see a letter about uh about the shid a letter written to my father in which the says um being about the the about the proposition for the shid with a girl from uh being that being that it seems to be a right choice based on the discussion you had with all the people you spoke to. So then the should be in in a goodpicious time. Um much later, actually probably 40 years later, I saw a letter that the Reb wrote a day before to Zman to Rebel Gurvich was the Manahel of Biska. And the Reb wrote to him a letter about making plays, you know, productions and so on. And the last paragraph of the letter says the proposal for the my mother's name being that the in question is so then it is it is a a right a right thing to do. This letter the Ebber wrote to Belgic a day before the Ebber wrote to my father being that it seems to be a right thing based on the people I spoke you spoke to then you should go ahead with it. But is it seems from the other letter they ever wrote day before is that being that this is a good idea based on whoever I spoke to you should go ahead with it. And it's very interesting because what what I'm taking from this is that the then was very involved was very involved with with every talid with every and uh but at the same time he gave them the impression that the ball is in their court. You know you have to do something you have to do your job. you have to do you they call due process whatever and I think that this is very much in line with whatever the has always told us you know I'm here to help but is yours so I think that this putting it together this story was a very beautiful thing >> very interesting did your parents were did your parents ever see themselves >> uh it's a good it's it's a good question yes my parents uh have seen >> before then never >> yeah before then Never. No. Yeah. >> Never. Never. Going to going to the Reb from France was probably a few months salary at that time. And my father was a Baha. He didn't have a father and he was completely under the care of the yeshiva. So going to the Reb wasn't an option financially. That's also a whole another thing how these people are asking the for if they should do a and uh their whole relationship with the rabbi was through through and through letters like it's interesting. >> Yeah. I'll take you I'll take you I'll up you one on this one. >> Mhm. one of my father's closest teachers lean was a neples he he was not only a teacher to my father was very very close so he was going to the my father told him you're going to the mention my name in the when you buy the mention my name so the so okay was in at the end of the asked him do we need to talk about something else so he say Yeah. Yeah. My jim dan is asking for a so the rebi says shimon bend he couldn't remember it wasn't one of those common name like uh mushka you know it's like the name was Isa. So theel lets him sweat and is thinking and the say Ben. He has no answer smiles and says Ben is it seems to me I think that it is Shiman Ben Isa. >> So of course label says yeah yeah that's a name. He runs out of he writes the name on a paper because he won't remember it again. And when he comes back to the first thing he runs to my father say what's your mother's name? So when he says my his mother's names ah I ever knew the name. >> Wow. >> Now you know I it's interesting I explained this this by the way this story is multi-layer. >> Mhm. >> The first thing to go back to what I was saying before the name >> why you why you making the guy sweat. Um is well it has to come from you. I'm not going to do everything for you. You I'm here. I'm helping you but as you have to do something you have to do an effort and I think this is recurrent in by the way I witnessed this once myself I think it was insh I think that we mentioned before was actually uh very sick I think it was me maybe early me I don't remember but and by ka upstairs >> he was living at ground heights He was living clonites. He was actually in charge of 1414. Um so so it helped that he remembered my father. I got an extra. I I was able to ask him if I wanted the pool or the the other side. He would he would he would help. Anyways, but at one point he was very sick and by ka upstairs on a Monday or Thursday in the Reb used to getishi and right after will make the so after he finished the turns to ask and tells him I said Ben doesn't know. So he looks at the Reb. The Reb pointed to the of Kiev. He's his son-in-law. >> So the Reb pointed to him that he should say he start to think and you know when he's standing in front of the Reb and the Reb is asking something you know I've experienced this myself. I just freeze. I I don't know what to say. So the wait a few seconds and then he says he said the name. I can remember the name. I remember this mad how the asked for the name but he said the name. So >> the name >> the said the name. >> So again it goes back to the same. So okay we mention so >> I I once heard someone told me that he was he was speaking to a younger person older than me but younger person that he was speaking to a certain once and he was asking like this famous question like does the did the know where I was you know I was around in you know in the bay in later years I was a kid I want to know so this told him were you want in dus was your name in dus over the years said yes says then the rebba knows you because the knows the names so there's v various stories that I heard about that but this is these are two fresh ones that I never heard before so this is amazing >> yeah yeah yeah so just to to go back to um to go back to this uh to this uh other layer I wanted to bring from the story about how they ever knew my father's name my father's mother's name you know I thought then when my father always told us the story he told this story many many times so I figured yeah talking how many people wrote to the I thought I was I was a young kid you know and I thought was very small my father was has received letters from the already from soon after he got to Bruno already received letters and uh so I figured that for many years my father is writing 100 anotherund how many remembers the name because my then camees and I realized by already 20,000 letters at least that were already written so even that the gashm is not really sh >> so I I gave I gave a shot Um you know the reason what says is to someone even to someone that you have never seen in your life and so they have never saw my father at that time. They haven't yet seen my father. But when you love somebody you remember you remember his birthday you remember his name. You remember his mother's name. That's it. You know, you get a new cell phone, you remember the number right away because it's it's na to you, >> right? >> My cell phone you won't you won't remember, but not that I'm not. I know I am, but uh it's not the same. So loves loves, he remembers his name, remembers his birthday, which I have another interesting story about the birthday since we're talking about it, but I'll put it on hold for a second. until I told this story to to a Shenan who was then in Montreal and today's infas I told him the story and he told me no what's what's the wonder is what is in connect with your is of the whole of course he knows of every single year. So this take it took it a bit uh a bit further. >> I mean whenever there someone ask for there's a big iss to know the the name and the mother's name. That's like a very important component of it. >> Yeah. >> Well um okay so this is another uh another deeper level of the the whatever the connection of to individuals. Very interesting. Yeah. >> So, so let's go back to to to to you. You were you were going you so you you learned the ma and then you were later on in >> I actually I I didn't learn bun for a very long time. Um was very intent that I should go to to he spoke to my father. He told my father different things why I should go there. And I I very much didn't want it. I wanted to finally I got to New York. I wanted to stay there. >> What you were in those time was for the younger. It's not like today in those days was where the went and that were not yet 2021. That's where they went. Mhm. >> Of course, you had the choice to go if you're American, go to Morristown to uh so I went but it didn't not for long because then I got called in by the list and put me on the list and the name went to the and I mean yeah interesting stuff about my learning I I learned um in I was in Sai which is a peer school was in Paris. That's where we lived. We actually originally lived in the platel and the school was in the platel and that's it. That's where I went. At one point actually in Topshim my mother went in and uh it was the last it was it was the last day of I had this many times before. Uh first I was when I went right after Baba mitzvah but uh this time I wasn't >> this time you were by the >> I was by yeah first time I went to the was a week a week after mitzvah um yeah so it was also I came in tish but my father couldn't come with me because he was a and that's when they work right in t >> so I went myself then and I went myself interesting m is also there but this is my mother tells me why why don't you come with me we could go together my brother was also there we'll go together in people go in a family I say to her you know what I I had by myself I'd like to have again by myself you go you go you have um sometime I think maybe I should have gone but whatever that one of the reason why I should have gone maybe is because Uh I was slated for the next night and it was delayed and delayed, delayed and delayed until the only way we could go was that all the go together. So we all went together. So it was my first cl in the Reb's room not in not in the show. >> So it stopped drastically like that like there was no warning. uh that I think it continues. This was I think that throughout the the more after that but uh it became and it was it was just so happened because the were delayed and people had a flight and the only way you could go in is if you come with a group tonight and then you go to your to the airport or whatever or tomorrow is your flight so go tonight and that was the only and I guess uh you know turned out would be a good idea. So it continued this way but many times said that um we get the meant for every single one who is there which means that it includes that you had no idea about asking because you weren't thinking about it. Another person thought about it. They got the you got the ended up being so much better and for some reason she asked the about my continu continuation of my of my uh just put in perspective I'm the third in my family. My older brother was uh you know didn't do he was in you know very very in the north of France today my older sister as a girl also stopped by grade nine and option only she's on today in Argentina and I'm the third one and for some reason my mother asked the if I should do or if I should uh if I should go to Binoa and they decide to ask her a bunch of questions about me. What do I do in my free time? Do I frequent spoken French? Do I frequent the yeshiva during my vacations? And uh how old I am? How many years do I have left? And then de said using a French slang for the diploma that he wanted me to get. He says I should first get in France it would be equivalent to a high school diploma but when you come with here it's called it's called a bachelor degree and and after that I should go to yes I yes for a few years. So the Reb wanted you to finish what you started. um wanted to finish but all the way because you finish I could have finished already by grade nine and then this is a different you know you go to high school and you have to do high school but and my older siblings didn't and most of my younger siblings also did it and I'm one of the only ones in my family who who did it and that's because the said I should get a certain degree and after that whenever I asked the myself then I was very much devastated did all but you know the has this plan knows. So I asked the why am I supposed to do this and the told me priority and you >> what did he ask? What did he ask? >> Where where am I going to learn this? >> Okay you know. >> Mhm. >> So the said Kadima and he named a yeshiva the most lit that there is in France. Excellent bank. Um I I I must say that when I got this answer I was even more sub than for the first one but nonetheless I felt that they sending me on you know when you're a kid you have the answer of all the worst problem thank god you don't have any problem but you have the answer in case you figured whatever I was in with the people doesn't matter the is that uh whatever that I did that I'm doing now in Montreal which uh you know I I run the seminary I ran the seminary which is an official college. So the students who come to us they get pert degree with credits that are transferable to other universities and so on. And to be in such a position uh you had to show that you have something. You have to show that you have some kind of degree. And uh in Quebec if you have a degree from France. >> Mhm. >> So that is the whole uh the whole way the whole the whole way that I got where I got was was with this uh was with these studies that the Reb told me to do. So the fact the fact that you're the only one in your family that had that from theb you can see like how your you had you had a unique that that that needed that. Do you able to see this? >> Yes. And I tried I tried other things by the way. I was a inn for three years. Um after after Qua I went to Staten Island on I was working for Katsman because I speak Hebrew like an Israeli because I learned in 70 so my friends are Israelis. So uh I ended up working with the Israelis over there. I was involved in the sh nothing worked until I I I got to Montreal >> which by the way um it's connected to another very interesting story I don't have it on screen I will show you the letter in me giml in the summer me giml I was head counselor in the day camp but I wrote the I wrote to d and I received a letter from that is dated and is a you know kind of a like a letter that the sends many people who wrote a for the new year. So the Reb is giving a for the new year. And uh my letter was not about the new year. It was the end of camp. I sent a d I sent a a p that I made the children write, sent pictures. I received this letter at the end of so it's about two months after it was written. I got the letter was in and the writes. So for a to get especially when you still in is something very strange. I mean not strange very rare not many unusual. Thank you. And and I so already then the says writes um and then in pen he adds and the was included in the were received and they would be read and then the whole for the new year. At the end of the letter is typed and before the signature writes with a pen. So the Russians is also unusual. >> Yes. Success in education of Jewish children, a proper Jewish education, pure education. And then the rebite here. This is I would say the third letter that I the third answer that I got from the Reb that put me in a shock. I was then I was 18 years old maybe 19 years old and I thought that means going go city you take over the world you turn around the city you make a kabad and you open school and this and the other before was printed you know and uh that's the way that's the way I understood and this was my dream this is what I wanted to do and I saw in this letter as if is directing me towards. So of course I went to the mash I went to the letter and I said listen is the telling me that I should work on on so look at the letter and he says what did you write? I said about camp said, "Oh, you wrote to about give you a book." I said, "Listen, I like your answer, but you know this is talking here. It's not just you wrote, he wrote, right? So what what?" So he said, "Don't worry." So I was happy thinking that maybe my is not going to be in and as I said I tried all kind of different things when I was a I went to in you know very interesting places you know being a Frenchy in 770 by the way we're not that many as many as today those years maybe were thousand Frenches there were French guests particip not not learning >> oh thousands of course but 770 a whole year in 770 were maybe a dozen And we don't get much privileges but one privilege we got is that my English speaking friends went to Milwaukee you know I went to I went to the Caribbeans I went to Africa you know places where I speak French >> so so I I I that's where I saw myself and like I said after I got married I went on everything was fine the whatever but they had a different plan and it's about 10 years after this letter 11 years after I got this letter I ended up in Montreal and uh ever since this is what is and I don't see myself doing anything else and I tell people who think that is a copout you wanna you want to be a at the same time you want to have fresh uh baked goods and your kids in a it's not a copout. It's a talent. If you have the talent, they chose you to go on that. If your talent is to talk to people to student university you know there isn't in the letter that sent before he says you should go speak in the should go and speak to the youth there is you know there is different if you are if you are fit to speak as a rabbi in a that's your job That's if you are fit, if you are talented to be able to have an influence on the youngsters, that is so basically is not necessarily what you want. It is what the Reb wants you to do. >> Well, what's the job to chop? That's also that's also because by definition is doing the will and the of the not about your career. It's about it's about fulfilling the that was given to you. So, you know, maybe da if you if you're doing the that you didn't think you're going to be doing, you're you're you're doing it more for the right reason for for for the for the male. So, >> yeah. >> Yeah. So, this is this is the ma uh by the way I was once came to Montreal from Italy. He came to Montreal for and when I was a bach I used to love his fabians hang out over there a lot. So when he was in Montreal I was happy to drive him here and there you know. So he asked me no what are you doing here? So I told him and I told him the story with the letter. I told him 10 years later I understood what they ever wrote in the letter. So he tells me you're lucky I have letters 40 years I still don't understand what did they ever ask for me. So >> among is brought to you by we live in a chaotic world. A world where for us is a we do not have the ability to hear and see the on a daily basis. Yet we know that the is very much with us and is alive and thriving more than ever before. one needs to only tap into it. Provides you and your family with the tools necessary to tap into all of this. 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You can be part of deher through your financial support as well through visiting our website deher.org or through contacting us to setting up a meeting. Thank you very much. Enjoy the rest of the podcast. Okay, so back to uh so let's move backwards to where we started. >> Yes. >> About going to the forat what what was that about? >> Okay. So shabas was a shabas and I very very much wanted to go to uh to hear the by the I'll be honest I I theat probably I could read the you know we got we got the printed uh the printed um uh edition of the fabbran and then it took us a week but fabian I missed it on chab You're saying is from where? From from >> so yeah. So what happened is yeah so when I I finished being that the had given me a very short amount of time to go to yeshiva originally right >> after after for what for? >> Yes I was I was in Bana I was in Ba for summers and for stuff like that and then I told my father I'm not going to bun and my father told me why why you want to go to New York. So I told him because of New York I'm going to become a lton. So so what am I going to tell him? I thought brother is a smart man. He says I went to Bruno my whole life it turned out okay you know. So anyways but I went and I ended up in that >> you asked the before. >> No the told me I could go to yeshiva after I'm done. That's it. I'm going to sh >> and but then um I get that the calls me up. He says he calls me over to his office and he says that I'm on the list that the listen sent and he wants me to be one of the basically what happened is that there were group four French bahim and two not French uh two Israelis but from and the other three were French the four French the other three came from that's what they were um and me I was whatever you know who I was you put the name and listen what does has with you that he insists you should go there it's not me he likes my father >> it's not me the answer came from the reb that we should go and uh and uh we went >> so so you didn't spend any time you were there for a year in New York. No, you don't spend any time. >> I was there a few months. Yeah. >> And that was also Yeah. That was very strange that you know to go not even you go sends you from here from >> right >> so I guess it was enough time for me to be there. I don't know. listen told my father that the whole reason why told me to go and do he should come on and over there on the who just came out of high school many over there were from from school you know new and so on he says that's why they don't know who told him it could be but okay that was it wasn't convincing enough for But nonetheless once the said we go we go went on. So yes I was there only then I was as I said comes I wanted to hear the chab. So I say you already had this no pun intended. you already had such such a >> so this is something that you picked up from from being by theb for those few months like where do you get that conviction that you need to hear the shabas >> so the first thing is that you know I've been to the I came to the every single year since mitzvah uh for and in giml I wanted to prepare my my you know I wanted to get a room and a locker 1970 and so on. So I also came for um so like then I went back to finish my to take my exams and then I came back to New York. I went to Bruno and then came back to New York. So being by the for so many years even if it's only for makes it that you don't you're not just by the fore you go to the fore and that's it. You're you're you belong to the reb that's it. So when you come back, you hang out with I hang out in bun. My brother was in bun. Then I was a kid. I was in every every other shab. Uh every time I had vacation from school, whether it is in the summer, in the winter, that's where I went. And uh and is in Paris also for there was some yungite I became very friendly with when I was already an older ber. Soite that that lived in Paris that live in Paris and and you get this you get it you get it it comes to you you know uh it comes to you and my brother was also definitely a huge huge when it came to that um you know listen theidish that I got from home you know was was my father singing nigim and uh and telling us stories of the and making sure we write a pan to the before, you know, this was pretty much the extent uh you know so we had all the whatever you know but this the the of um is something that I got you know more from I would say my older brother but also the being in being around And >> for sure that like I said my my father got many letters from the he wouldn't do anything without asking the and so on but still that thing I need to be by the for you this came from from >> I had heard the before in in previous years when I was by the you knowish I don't remember if once had But I just wanted to hear the how on chabas during the week I heard it I was there but on chabas I wanted to hear so I went to listen and I as said we don't travel in middle of this month you're in the middle of a semester you don't travel so I say not true there was a and is going that means that there is there is a possibility of getting rash. So he say, "Yeah, the is going on everybody's behalf and that wasn't you. So then you're not going." So I said, "Listen, it's Shabas. I'm not going to miss much sedan. Friday, you know what? I'll travel Friday morning and if you want, it's a winter shabas. I'll come back shabas. I'll be back. I'll miss the Friday seder and the Sunday morning and maybe the sed would say shabas. So he saw was very intent of going and he told me and what happens if you get to 770 and the walks into shul and he looks at you and he tells you I sent you there what are you doing here? So when he told me those words I I know that uh you know the pen and paper were ready for him to write to the this went to you know. >> Mhm. >> So that's >> he's going to report to you >> definitely because that's the way Dan Holly was working. I don't know if it still happens this way but that's the way was going all the years they never wanted to know a report. So I I said this is you know you know that being said and you're going and doing your own thing. So I decided to stay but of course being that after that I spent from the summer of meal until actually I went on to start base. So until then I was I was inv day and night the whole time. So I got many many uh where they dabis and so on. >> Maybe maybe talk talk to me about uh your years in 770. I want to that's the that sounds like it's years is the and then your years by the so what was going on what was your what was your experiences then when you're learning 770 >> you know if you ask anybody of my generation what what were the best years in Labavich they'll tell you the mems you know if you ask somebody uh you know generation before me that the laments So, what it depends all the and the answer is very simple. The year you spend by the was the best year in Labavich. That's it. After all, what is Lavab is you being that's it. What do you know? Anything else? So uh definitely the mems the years we were in in 2017 were very very significant and packed went through the whole the whole the whole mishbat first all anguish that went through it um itself and uh the different inim uh that that place also of Bishvat was something definitely very historic no staying with the Zidapata whole week you know those were we're living times that were very very clearly unusual and something very significant is happening um I I I I can't really pinpoint on uh on on I don't know what should I say about it my time 770 I don't know I could tell you that first of all first of all when you're in 770 the clock is not is not the your watch the clock is what's happening by the um you know you meet somebody I I'll see you after you know I'll give it to you now give it give it back to me after my you know like our was all about after they ever after when they ever came to K you meet people your whole time frame you know that this is the time you are going to be in with so our clock somehow was the whole time was around the time going to be with with you know that's that was one uh you know one thing I would say about the timing seven you know a very very uh uh A very special moment also was every day when in the winter when the Rebi came in from Arab in middle in middle of the sed I islanded upstairs in Zal and the Zal upstairs uh was as packed as it is today you know not that many maybe 40 guys 50 guys >> it is what it is it's a limited capacity >> yeah that's the space and uh you know we sit we sit uh whole day without our hat and jacket you know we come in You fold your jacket, you put your hat, you hang your hat, and then you open or whatever, whatever it is that you're learning. And then in the winter in the mess, they became um very very often they went home early. Um so in the middle, you're sitting there and then you see the door opens. So right away you know put on your hat and jacket stand up and there comes in right in front dinging about uh I don't know 5 ft from you six feet from you know and uh this in itself was a very very special I could I could tell you one thing talking about the is that many of the bim when it came time that rebu would walk in they would they would run out and dive in the hallway the door to the hallway next to the um next to the was always open. So with minion but if you felt whatever reason you know you didn't really put in all your effort in learning uh and so on or you didn't whatever you didn't feel fit to be in the so to speak. So many many guys would go and stay in Davin in the hallway instead. um you know because the intensity of being in the dam is much is walking he's right in front of you downstairs you could you don't want to be mis you know what I mean but upstairs was a very different very different heres >> you could like feel the the presence >> yeah yeah they would look they would look at people look around yeah for sure that um you know the the three weeks of the Mishbat where we had to take turn. We couldn't go. We didn't have a shoes to go every day to the court. Number one, because you're not going to pack the whole the whole room. And number two, because learning, you know, you have to learn. Uh, of course, some of my very good friends were there every day. >> Somehow, yeah. Yeah, of course. You know when somebody wants you find a way >> they gave themselves jobs I guess. >> Yeah. Yeah. But uh you know the few times that the few times that I went uh that I got to go uh was also felt you know seeing for example men sitting there in the front with other members of not necessarily understanding what's understanding what's happening but saying tim you see that you see them sitting over there seriously saying tim the whole time uh you see that uh You know they taking it they're taking it very this is this is the they have the mishbat is involving the they take it very seriously they're working on it very you know standing there saying tim many of us were there because we wanted to be curious you know >> right a lot is said about that during that whole period of the of the from when the from when the rabbi first spoke about the and then the court case the mishbut there was like a certain feeling in I can imagine by the bakim in particular and then on the good news came that like burst that relief. So may maybe you could describe a little bit what what was that what were the bakim the bakim had the heartbeat at the end of the day right so what were the bakim feeling like that what was going on during that time >> first of yeah first of all hearing hearing that hearing in talk about the situation >> you were there was me >> no I was no I was in camp I was in camp but right after shabis I got a phone call I was in camp in France got a phone call uh right after shabis from my friend. He told me everything what has happened. It's funny cuz I was in I left I left right after um so when I left um all we knew that there was a there was a of I didn't know was called a good kabat on that day. So that that's that's the way on that day. >> So the first inkling that that the anyone knew that something was was happening was the fact that the Reb called the people the the >> for for for the lay men for people like me yes there were those people who were more involved for example William those people were involved with setting up the cameras and everything else. So for sure they they knew a lot more of course I don't think they spoke I don't think they spoke as a matter of fact even the bahim who were the most you know the do those who knew all the secrets and had the intel on every situation nobody was talking nobody was talking we knew something was happening and uh then I left I had to to go to camp so I left after this event we know something is going to happen we're going to hear about it And then I asked, you know, call me, you know, what was this all about? When we heard this, >> you knew that the Reb is going to speak about >> this this this was said. Yeah. >> No, because the Reb said in the that if nothing happens, I'm going to speak about maybe that part leaked. >> So that that part leaked, but not nobody knew what it was about. I mean, as as far at least, nobody knew what it was about when this broke. And then when we heard about uh whatever said and when when we heard the way they spoke um it was part of pain it was very painful and of course even then we realized that whatever told someone we made them bank you know it was all on um everything was it's true besides for the time of the mishbah the time waiting After the mishbah it was it was very very tense. It was very tense when the news came the came was actually like you say well the first time was before the mishbat already it was already a great uh great uh I I'll tell you about the the second you know >> the sec he's saying a year after >> the year after is when they came out that does not need a testifies. You're talking about the next year. >> The next year. Yeah. So already on that day uh by before after sing this is really the first time we sang in that the way was right or >> this was after the original. Yeah. After we heard that the reb doesn't have to go to court, this niggan came up did a u and uh that night there was a fabian in in in 770 upstairs in in in the um the fabangan was planned. It was a kiss and organized by uh before it turned to be downstairs but then was upstairs like and the speakers whatever but on the side on the side of the bim on the side of the themed there's one table over there right near that door to the hallway. >> Mhm. And uh Yudkinsky and the Shento came to sit down uh late late at night and then you know went right away to sit around and they they said a few things about what was what was going on. Mala few a few they revealed a few things that they were told whatever but I remember one se very interesting um was had had and he screams to the other side of the room to mayor may and he says to you know why are you still sober you're sitting at the head table like you know father of the bride you know because celebrating yeah so so this was you know you say things that you remember from 20 years before and this is 40 years before I remember this this this outburst this was like you know this like like I'm saying already the first relief kind of thing from that tension was that you'd give a kiss. >> People were a little bit >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And uh then of course uh you know the year after. >> So someone then by the made up the song. >> No it's not true. We saw it was before that. >> It was before that we sang after in that the way we sing that night. By the way, there was a Springer's son got married to Ber Lazar's sister to Lazar's daughter if I'm not mistaken. Um that was the and uh and over there started I mean the whole over there was >> Mhm. And it was in the evening after then whatever we went 770 and then came the a year later when came about we were >> you saying the first year the >> the first year >> commemorate whatever the first year of celebrating >> the first anniversary of the of the original it was before but so we had to blank And we're maybe maybe 20 bim. By the way, I read some uh reports the way it was written in based on information from and uh and uh it wasn't the way it's printed is not not accurate. I I will tell you mastery because I was there myself. uh we're maybe 20 25 Bak sat down to fabang somewhere around midnight we start and the had to sing that that night sing because that's the idea of that the whole world should know that is a mel and the is not subjected to any testimony and he runs the show so you say and And somebody came up with is what we sang. Yeah. Today the singing is we sang by the way the mashk was a few the mashk was gone was finished. I had came I came back from Schlas in the Caribbeans and I had on my uh I had on in my room I had a desk in my room for >> in the summer you were you were >> summer me yeah >> you're in Caribbean okay >> summer me I was in Caribbean also an interesting story remind me I I'll tell you something about it um so I bought over there a gallon of crown royal that comes with a on a stand that you pour it because it's too heavy you Okay. >> And I said it was my I said I'm buying a bottle for and I had this bottle in my on my desk. It was a discussion piece you know discussion starter you know. Oh wow. Don't touch it is for anyways we're sitting over there give him that's it. So one of my friends sitting next to me became a man. I gave him the keys to my room and I say you know my bottle over there bring it over. So so you give a kiss. So he brought the bottle full of his respect the king by bringing a one gallon bottle of mash. Anyway, so this bottle took us for a while. That's a crown royal is >> crown royal malus. >> Yeah, royal is malus. And this one >> this was the mvenous that we had then >> if I bring today I had in >> I'm old enough to remember crown royal being >> the mashkavage either smear or crown royal. Yeah >> that's it. Yeah. Yeah. In the in the storage room of my sh I have about 20 bottles. Nobody wants to touch them. >> Yeah. Exactly. >> But then al that was it. Kulp um about 6:00 in the morning people start to come to Davin and uh Professor Brown over his mention your money but let me tell you exactly what happened. Professor Brown comes over and he says tells me what's going on. What's his height was you'd give him kiss? H so what do you mean you don't know you give him kiss you give him kiss? So I told him the mishbah this that and the whole thing. All right. So okay. Okay. 6 a.m. later on he was standing around right behind us. Whatever we're in the center of the show and somebody came in and he says what's what Bakim doing here. 6:00. What's it? So prime says you don't know. Give a kiss to him. and says >> then yeah >> spreading spreading the word. >> Yeah. Yeah. The interesting thing is uh is that we weren't going to go to sleep because it was a yamaka. I I mameish don't remember if it was a Monday or a Thursday. You could probably look it up today on on Google but it was yamaka. So we're not going to six o'clock 7 o'clock but okay because then if you go to sleep now you're going to miss coming for and getting an aliyah and out of a question right so uh so we stayed and we continued and whatever the came in you know the way the sedan was the would come into the z first the would go into his office and then he would come out he would stand at next to the door there was at at his table and then there was just a top a standard top that was on top of the table and only there would be >> sit on the table. >> Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't a full stand. It was it was a regular table the table with a checkered from Yankska. Um, and uh there was a a standard top with a few uh prongs at the bottom and there were four holes on the table that like this it stand and it doesn't move. Um so the would be there there would be ash and and the tim and the would follow with the and then after that while we until comes back would say till and after the seph came back would leave the room we're in the middle of davening so we never sang when they came in we never sang when they came out this is the middle of shahis but uh a few of us Um I I I wasn't in a mat I could put couldn't fill in because alpin I don't think I was allowed to d uh so you know we were there for the and when the left uh we started to sing the turned he looked he smiled he went on >> yeah I heard a that asked label what they saying then somebody told me no it wasn't That day it was a time where they ever went to they ever went to the car and was singing outside and they asked what what it is and when they called him smile called upon him this was a I don't remember ever um ever that we sang when they was coming for the trilis I mean in the middle of ding in chakis uh he asked me would I do that again today for sure not but uh after a lot of mashk and then like you said it was the tension of that time you know was like ah yall but whatever if if if we okay they have acknowledged it one or another is um yeah so this was this is >> so that was this is >> and less than a month before it >> right and then right after this is the prelude >> in the hakama to yes >> the explosion of hatis >> yes we knew for a few days before for some reason I don't know uh I remember I have a a good friend Matsov in France so he he had a he had a >> he's your older than you >> no he's older than me is older than me but he's he's one of those that I mentioned to you before that you know get the from when I was in France to go say shabis go over to his house and then ends up you know many hours later with a few good stories and uh filling filling the in so he I had a phone in my room so I would uh I would call him all the time anytime there is news so I remember hearing I heard it from I don't know but a few days before that the judge is busy right Now with with a with a verdict the judge is preparing a verdict. So a few days before it was end of Khanek um I called Abu and I told him the judge is busy with it the is imminent. We don't know when but this is what's happening. Uh and T was a few days later was uh let me tell you something about the everybody knows everybody saw the videos. Uh Yasa was diving in Shakis. This was you know around 11:00 and we started to dance outside. So he finished shakis. He went to his car. He took out his guitar and he started to play in front of in front of the office in front of the window. uh started to to to dance over there and more and more and more and more people came. Uh station wagon pulled over, opened up the trunk. Cases of mashk station wagon went onto the the parkway, you know, like after the service like cases of mashk went out. people were saying and uh there was I have a friend who was going to France that day because he was getting married on Thursday. So he stayed till the last minute so he could get uh the cedar from the Reb the day before he travels and he was getting the cedar onus and I went to him and I was like you're going to be the first civilian you know not part of mas not part of the mishbet like first you're going to see the you come out you tell us you He uh came out after a while and he tells me the looked very serious. So I thought you I don't know what you're talking about. You are very serious. Finally, we're waiting for for this day for for for years and you living you're very you're sad but you're serious. You're depressed. So when you're depressed you see everybody around you depressed. You don't know what you're talking about. He says, "I I I've I know I've seen the before. The looked very very serious. I don't know what's going on." Le we saw the come in. You saw you see it in the video. So we were there by the front. I was right there. Nobody was uh nobody was and we're singing singing and the came in and the didn't look uh didn't encourage the singing. >> Yeah, >> we we expect it is not what we expected so to speak, right? I realized maybe this B was right and say we know we know the story. They have immediately asked if if there would be an appeal and when it was told there would be an appeal they closed door like was turned very serious. Even the with the you know >> Yeah. The Reb started saying >> started saying but there was a but there was true there was a and uh so so we saw that was but yet and then >> on the other hand the is a very strong about about what happened that day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They turned it. I think they turned it. It was the next year it was a shabz said that this is just linked in that to to spoke about started by saying that as it is in a way and then what happened last year and then which is just like mish they have establishing established it as a yam. We understand that this was after the appeal was won and this was after after the whole thing was over. Um and that t is was tak but nonetheless event we dance every night didn't stop us until it was to write the p you want to write and anyways we're not going to read it so don't worry about writing exactly what you want it's going to go theimo You know, there was no faxes there. It's not like you send an email today. Um I remember >> there's no faximax. >> No, Mir didn't have a fax. Binyamin Klein had a fax in his basement in Mamzin and that fax actually belonged to uh to to Yasu Gutnik and he put it like he bought it and he put it by by Binyamin. So should have a fax. Um I Bammen had asked me a few times to go pick up some some uh to go pick up some lettuce from there and bring him sometime you know in between two in between two tips I would I would I would need air so I would go to Masadash so he said go to my basement get get me some this boxes that machine was the size of the copy machine of the 90s it's the size of a table. >> Mhm. >> It's huge. That was the facts uh then imam and uh I don't know what the capacity how much it could take. So for people from all over the world to send it, everybody had to find a different you know one way or another. Uh my friend Menimov today in Paris, he was in then and his father Mü had a huge following and of course I would assume somewhere around a thousand people who had to send the facts. Uh so you should get to the reb before it goes to the so then as we all know everybody especially the Americans Frenchies come to the by the thousands how do they come to the to fly so mah had a special uh deal with their friends that when the people came from the bisabat or when bisabat called their friends for a ticket it was a special deal. So he uses connection then and he took all the pun that all the panim that people sent. He took them to office the central office of her friends in Paris and he sent it to the central office of to the office of her friends in Manhattan and Mendy his son went to Manhattan. He picked up the pim and brought it to this is how much of a trip you had to do to get >> Yeah. This was yeah a very significant thing just >> one of the integral components of being aim and whether it's or these days give us an opportunity to connect with our to connect with each other and be better what is the story behind each of these days how did the rabbi commemorate and celebrate these days and most importantly what are the lessons the takeaways and the action items needed for each of these days. All of this and much much more are answered in the new set recently published by Dher. Our days is a journey through the Kabad calendar in story meaning and practice with over 700 beautiful glossy pages with elevated content, beautiful, beautiful photographs. You, your family and friends will enjoy and live with each. This book is a must for every labamature home, for every schul, for every school. It is a perfect gift item. This will not collect dust. It will be used day after day, month after month, year after year. You can have the set. Go to.org/ org/ourdays. Order your set today and start living with. >> So I want to go back a little bit to uh you mentioned this something about the American that we had to the Caribbean. >> Yeah. Um so actually it's a very interesting story and um I'll I'll start I'll start from the end. I'll start from the end. Okay. Start from the beginning. Um I had planned to go on to uh to to two French islands in the Caribbeans Guadlup Martineik and at the same time that me and the friend were planning it there's another two Bahim were planning the same thing also two French bahim they're planning the same the same union. Uh so then when we're discussing it, we decided, you know, let's go together. One of them was a one of my friends was a Hassan. He says he won't go. He has to get ready for his wedding. And uh so it's only we're going to be three three. And uh the three of us were going to France for July to do camp. And we figured we finished camp in in France. Camp was only one month. So we'll finish we'll go makeas in August on the second part the second part of the summer. Um so we we made plans to print it over there and so on. So each one had you know took a job raising money to print that was my job and uh you know getting massuses they got the whatever it is. We went to France and then they these two uh my two friends decided to go straight from Paris uh to the Caribbeans rather than come to New York and I said it's B and I want I want to be by the I don't know what what it is with me and wanting the >> is a recurring story. Yeah, but this one was a weekday. By the way, is the one time in which um you get to hear the very very good you get to be very very close. is actually a picture I have a picture of of the picture also and I'm there right on the side everybody small it's a small >> yeah there's less time for the but less of a crowd >> right because in camp the in the country And uh people didn't come usually not many people came for so it was a small crowd and we're able to be close here the very well >> that did these people. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Always did. Yeah. So good. So I decide I'm going for to the and then next day whatever two days later I'll I'll I'll join you. So, uh, I get to the I get to New York, uh, a few days before Kaf and my friends call me up and they tell me, "Listen, we've been there for a few days. We did we we did the whole we covered all the ground. We saw everything there is to see and we you don't need to come. >> We're already cavish." >> Yeah. Yeah. That's it. We >> We conquer. We're done. >> We Yeah. and okay. So I say yeah you conquered one but there is a second Thailand we say look I we spoke to the people here they say there isn't that much work to do there there are that many yiddens so don't don't bother coming you know so you know again you know third wheel who needs you whatever I say okay what's with the the the money for the Tanya don't worry we'll cover the Tanya So I tell them I said listen I I when I booked my ticket uh the travel agent told me that I have to stop in an island called St. Martin. Today St. Martin is very famous but I've never heard there's a yeah >> I've never heard of St. Martin before. This the travel agent told me you have a stopover in St. Martin. From France they have direct flights but from New York they didn't have to Martine to Guadaloop. So you have to stop in St. Martin. So I said, "I heard about that. That means that maybe I have something to do there." So they said, "Stay put. We're going to find out with the people over here. What's Yeah, good." So they called me back and they said, "Here is the phone number of the president of the community. He's a lawyer. He is going to show you around with a small community. Go there." Okay. So I had to go to anal to tell them change of plan. And I went to the office of over there is where they prepared the plate for the shahlat uh of the Tanya because if you print the Tanya you needed to have the the sha had the name of the place where we where it's printed. So you can't just take each was assigned a number you know print number this one is shiny z >> right >> anyway. So I went over there and I said uh you know they took care of Guad matineik I'm going to St. Martin not printed there print okay good they prepared the papers I wrote to the whole story change of plan and I'm going there instead I got an answer mention and I went back to my friend who was getting married and I say this is your last chance to go make you're getting married you're going but is your last chance come with Okay. So he said okay. So I said fine you know you're Italian. You're Italian. There are few gim over here that are Italian. You go get some money for the tickets. And we thought okay. So we >> but they did there's no payment from meas for for >> there was first of all first of all in the in the mems it was very different was very when you when you went to all those places in America. Yeah. It was covered. When you went to further places didn't happen didn't happen. told me once he says we don't send because there was another French place I wanted to go to and told we don't send to I asked about this place he says it's a French territory has to do with a with a Frenchim so the Frenchim said the French who was actually who took ownership of this island 5,000 kilometers away from him but this is um he was was masking we go but he wasn't I'm going to pay. So, we had to cover for it. Okay. So, me and my friend went and from the airport, we went straight to the lawyer's office. We had his his address, his name straight to the lawyer and secretary tells us he's he's away. He's on vacation for two weeks. I say, "Yeah, we're here for two weeks, you know. So, then there's nothing. Where are we going to go? So, okay, we go go go out. We take a taxi. We go to a hotel. I figured, you know, growing up in France, if you want to know where to find a Jew, you ask a guy. They'll tell you who's Jewish. So, I asked the guy at a hotel, who's a French man. I tell him, do you know any in French in nice way of saying Jewish? It's not Jif is is which mean Israelite. So he heard me say >> is a jar is a derogatory. Jif could be as not as nice. >> Today we say who's a jif but then used to say Israelites. I say do you know any is say yeah there is a guy who has a a supermarket. He's Israeli. Um I go there we go right away and we ask where's the bus? The bus in the back. Go there. You see a guy, big guy with a mustache, a bit dark and they say shalom. He say shalom. Where are you from in Israel? He tell he's from he's a Palestinian. He was not an Israeli. But for the for the Frenchy over there all the same Israeli. >> Okay. So we left and we don't know why we're gonna we're here for two weeks. The only contact we have is is is away and those signs. So I told my friend Dr. Dal just two years before that they ever spoke about printing Tanyas all over the world and they ever said that the idea of printing a Tanya all over the world is because the wellspring itself is being printed in the place not just the water not going to learn there only but you're going to bring the the Mayan say why we make let us bring the let's go find a printer. The printer says, "Uh, yeah, I could do it in two weeks." I said, "No, no, no. We're leaving in two weeks." And I see the guy was wearing a t-shirt that had a mention of some type of godliness. I told him, "Listen, let me tell you about this book." Was a big big rabbi when he saw the book. He says, "How could it be a big big god? Contains a small book. Now you want to print this book in your print house." And the guy said, "Oh yeah, I do it today. I start today." Anyways, we started over. We stayed over there till he starts making upset. He wasn't coming. He was took time. As soon as we walked out of the printer, somebody walks, somebody who's driving, short stops, guy jumps out of the car, he says, "Yeah, get in the car." He says, "Get in the car. There's somebody who's who wants to talk to you. Hey, we get in the car. >> He wasn't kidnapping you. >> Yeah. No, this guy is tell we go in the car and he tells us that there is a man who now lives in Guadalupe, the bigger island who heard that we're coming and he asked he says he asked me to go around and look for you because he wants to talk to you. So, we're going to this man's office and he dials a phone and this guy tells us uh what are you what what are you doing here? We're doing here they sent us here. So, he said they sent you here. Is it because of the letter that I wrote to him? Said yeah that's why he said wow this was six months ago. So I said no. Okay. But what was it? They didn't tell us the details. So maybe you want you want to fill us in. >> You guys are just uh saying >> bluffing. Yeah, >> just bluffing. They sent me because he wrote a letter. How do I know? I'm sure it's true, >> right? >> But they didn't tell me why. So he said six months ago he was uh on a boat. He went fishing and the boat capsized and he felt he was going to drown. And in the water while drowning he says elohim if you save me that's it I go back to religion and the you know took care of him and he saved him right but the guy is stuck he has a promise he has to do he doesn't know what to do so he says I wrote to the a letter and I told him that I want to do chuva and he sends shuim all over the world please send him to St. Martin. So I could know what to do. So I was surprised I made such an offer and he didn't answer me. I said, "What are you talking about? He didn't answer you. He didn't answer you in the letter. He answered in person. He sent us here." After that, you know, I felt a little bad. So I explained to him, you know, didn't tell us anything. Doesn't have to call me in his office and tell me I received a letter from a Jew. and they ever made it that the travel agent told me the reason Martin good friend told me please don't hang out with us and this whole thing came together and and we're here anyways this guy Tak became fool and so on but just to tell you the rest of the story which is which is amazing I mean after that by the way this is Israeli guy who who took us to his car took us to every single Jew in Everyone we went to the in the D. I wrote to the Reb everything. I wrote to the Reb in the D that the whole story how we met this guy and what he told us about the Reb and I just told the Reb that and we explained to him that and the found anyways fast forward 30 years a few years ago was a Shabas and I have I have a if Gimlam is a Shabas I come to the on Friday and I drive back to be shabas with because if it's in a weekday everybody's nobody's there everybody comes to the everybody goes travels but if it's a shabas I have to fabang with my people >> you have a van >> I have a yes yes interesting interesting stories about that this one is the the first in Canada was established by they have this uh great uncles in a >> great uncle or or like whatever >> Deb is great the sons of uh of the >> the Kavnak >> of the Kabanaki. Yeah. The two sons Phil actually asked them for the uh for the Kisad to print it. >> Mhm. >> Uh yeah. So they were basically Kama's uncles, two brothers. they established the show and I'll tell you a few interesting things about that later the time. So I figured I have to witham. So I stayed I stayed for for I went to the river. I went to I drove straight from the on a Friday afternoon. You know I was listening to Fabrangans and I felt very very uh lack of a better word you know I felt unsettled felt very uncomfortable. What am I doing here? Why I am not but still I didn't feel good like I want to be there I want to be anyways on Friday afternoon when I I get a phone call from a group of kabad who said would you be able to come and give us a speech for gimlamos so I said okay fine I'll come in I'll say the speech So part of my speech over there is to tell them I told them the story. This story I told you about why did I tell them the story? Because I said the you are where the Reb wants you to be. You know wanted to send you to call them up and you have to say you go there. Today the is telling you you could you need to be there. That's where you need to be. And I said today even after there's no question that the is sending this exactly where they have to be because he wants them to be there. So from that perspective you know we're here for gimlamus but but we here because the wants us to be here and I told them the story exactly that that the wanted me to be in St. Martin in the summer of Tashimov because that Jew needed it. As I'm saying the story, there's a lady who gets up and she tells me, "Do you remember the name of of that person?" I said, "Of course I sila." She says, "That's that's my husband's uncle." She tells me I knew the part of the story cuz he had told the story that he was going to drown and he made a promise that he's going to do chuba and he was saved and he did cha two days in he has a long beard he learns in half a day and so on and so forth but he never said anything about a letter to the so I was already I was blown away I was like number one this is the telling me you feel bad that you're in Montreal and I give out tamos I'm I'm here I'm part of your story here and I was very happy that you know sometime you tell a story and somebody uplugs you over here was aation a confirmation of the story so I told her I said this is unbelievable because this is telling us again how the is the wanted me to tell you this story so you could know the rest of the story and please send him my regards anyways the next day On Sunday morning, I get a phone call from the husband of this of this woman who says, "Uh, I I called my uncle this morning and I didn't want a phone call. I wanted to see him." So, I FaceTime so I could see his reaction. I told him the story and his jaw fell to the ground. And he said that he has never told this story to anybody ever, only to one guy. So he says now that you know let me tell you the rest and he says that he wrote eight pages letter to the his whole entire life what he did until now and then how he ended up and and so on and so forth. So this was you know one of my uh I would say first significant that I saw the involvement in in everything and and today this is very very careful today young who never saw the who are going ones they're going far away they this became the and they sometime they may ask themselves self who sent me the of the state sent me the said did I decide to find a job this is my career what is it nob picked you because wanted you to be there he didn't have to tell you anything and this is the way it was said the very good years of this is still the way it was going on >> and you're saying that this is the same thing that uh happening today. >> Exactly. When somebody's going on today, it is not because his father happened to be a in that area and he kept a spot for 25 years for him. There was no Jews there until he got married. That's not the reason. The reason why he's there now after 25 years of his father being there is because that's the time the wanted you to be there. And how does this translate to someone that's not official? Well, the said many many times especially in you know when the started you know with every house what does it mean you know of house wherever it is your what does it mean is you know there's an interesting interesting thing that bin client told me once I had an offer once to go on. No, not on. I had an offer once to become a in I've been on on to Africa a few times and uh so after I got married, I got an offer from the Kahila. >> What year did you get married? >> I got married. I got married got it from the day before the night in which he mentioned we could could talk about it too. It's an interesting uh thing. Yeah. This was said after So I'll jump to this. We'll go back to that. Yeah. Are you okay? >> You okay with a with a jumping around subject? >> Just just uh make a note. Yeah. Make remember >> the parenthesis. Okay. So uh yeah I got married and you could understand that uh I was very confused besides of hearing the first was a heartbreaking for anybody especially if you're and who could think of the was crying was crying. When you said that by it was was tearing tearing tearing me apart and now I'm going to go I'm going to get married with the band the music. So uh anyway so I actually asked u I actually asked the what if we should do anything differently and uh they were going to told me you don't need to ask because they have already said to all the the misters who had things planned not to do anything differently as a matter of fact I heard from u my my brother-in-law's father Shiman Goldman used to say a story shabishbatim because he was in charge of the machis So he would say a story in front of the deb every year. So in the middle of the story and he asked and then put put on was part of the part of the show we put on the so he asked if maybe this time is because the fab will be in the shabas in the middle of Shiva and maybe it would be more uh has a darker kind of environment you know he asked if he should say a story and and with the said yes and there I give a story. It's a longer story than >> like they didn't want any any any changes whatsoever. Um the po uh the night before the night before they gave dollars and then the asked that there should be a fabian that begins in the house and the next night Tuesday night was a fabbran in the house and and the fabian should continue Wednesday night in 770. They were gave two bottles of wine. The big bottles the half a gallon. Yes. Uh two bottles of wine. One for the house and there was a in the house and the continuation was a big fab the next day. Uh Shia Pinson called Melab. >> Yeah. Shia Pins was a gaba in 70. And he's the one who made the announcement. What time what will be? He ann I think he announced that there's going to be a fab in 770 and the reb should be in the house. >> So he said it's the going to be in the house and then >> in the house and then >> so asked he called my father-in-law to find out the the the times of the wedding. >> Who's my is Jerry Simon Uncle Simon he was a famous uh caterer in Crown Heights. He was the cater for the for decades the special development fund. Uh yeah street >> from Crown Street an American boy who born in Jersey but uh he learned in Bedford and wasn't a mistress. He was part of part of Lubavich. I mean this is a >> for anybody my age he said Jerry they know what you're talking about. So uh he he asked he asked him what a better being the patient guy that he was he says what's your what's your business why you why you asking so he says because it's going to be a fabian tonight in 770 and the want to make sure that I'm not going to announce the time at the time of the wedding so I had to find out before so is the wedding I mean I'm not into the you know such a gentleman kind of guy. But uh but sometimes you just can't go around it. >> Reb was sensitive about your your >> Yeah. Yeah. But but for the gave bottle of wine they give directives start here 70. And yet is that Frenchie getting married down the street. I'm not going to ruin the party for him. Good. Anyways, after I went for dollars after the and told the I'm getting married tomorrow, the Rebi gave me an extra dollar and then he gave me another dollar and he says, "Give over to Yukala after the hookah." My wife also went that night and they told her the same thing. You know, label told she's getting married tomorrow. So they gave her an extra dollar to give me um to give me by uh after the coupon also after the coupon. So basically we exchanged dollars. >> Uh the next morning the gap dollars again and uh so I went by I didn't say anything. I went by uh my father was was also there. So when I went by label told the I'm getting married uh today. So they gave me an extra dollar and told me the first one was already had one for the give to the after that's what then I went to get the cedar from the reb on that day the went to the oil that day and I went to get the cedar uh they came down. So label told us in advance he says they was going to come where they were on another two they were getting married one in Israel one in California they were getting married in different places so they came it wasn't the day of their wedding the wedding was either next week one of them the other one was I think both of them was next week so uh they said is going to ask who's getting married first you say me and then they was going to give it Okay, there comes down and he had in his hand the sidel and a bunch of letters and the ask asked who's getting married first and I'm I'm not going to volunteer to say you know to the we know the stories you know there is no say me to the so I stood there like a guide I'm saying nothing Um so label says him gave it to me. Um ask for all the good things and when you finish give it to the next is getting married next. Then the ever went to the meanwhile I stayed at label told me after I have something for you. So I went to label after I finished davening and he had the the letter was my the letter is that was actually Monday night that year theat was very very late. >> Yeah was very late. It was a week 10 days after each. Monday night was the Tuesday I believe went to the uh Tuesday night was the so in I gave the invitation didn't have time to uh you know to respond right um would hand an invitation to the Reb. That was a say there >> in Yeah. >> Especially that we thought that we have like at least two weeks from is three weeks, >> right? >> So it's plenty of time but this happened to be delay. So uh there was the letter uh label told me the letter was typed the date was of uh the day after the but they signed it. He told me they just signed it before coming down. They signed the letter and uh >> for coming down >> before when they came down to give me the cider and he went to went to the >> there were an office upstairs also in his uh in his house. So uh before coming down they have signed the letter and he >> Oh this the sitter was in the house. This whole thing was in the house. >> Was in the house. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> All this was in the house. Yeah. >> Mhm. >> D in the house. Yeah. So yeah, they took the time basically >> before the rabbi gave you the in middle of this that's going on to make sure to sign your letter. >> Sign your letter. Yeah. Yeah. And then that night I tell you I insisted I wanted my to be ones. Why? because I'm getting married in winter and I wanted that uh you know I I I want after the I want to be able to go to the with the kala you know and the only way you could do that is if because you know it's going to be very very late so here's a chance I wanted to get married and turned out that but I I we didn't make it was before the cop whatever was up there maybe I should have gone myself. It was after bad started. >> Mhm. >> So I went 770 to get dressed, you know, with the k and the >> and I heard the over there. Yeah. Maybe I should have just walked to the house. I'll be back, you know. But I don't know. I guess it wasn't uh it wasn't the right thing to do for but nonetheless in the said that the writes that Moshe has uh instituted seven days of mourning and immediately in order to counterbalance it he instituted the when khal gets married they also have seven days following this event of celebration and they have explained very how is the antidote is the opposite of theus that is a concept of is about eternity and the way to balance out the Indian of of is with the Indian of going and then they said and especially that we're going straight uh straight into from the straight into and which is the and then this is the union of that to do that was also the with with this came out by the way and I saw the um in the added added one word uh but from the audio and from the tamil of the the verbatim of the audio you see David that's what David said you know spoke about the >> and they added that we're going to made it plural because I guess there were other things wasn't just all about me talking including more >> yeah including more of this but after that uh the was was unbelievable all my friends who were not in a mood for a wedding you know for sure came and everybody else came being that Mash was a a very good caterer. So he was able to add a few tables. At least some of my friends remind me this how after the added a few tables to the to the hall. >> So he knew he knew that the was going to come to the >> Yeah. Yeah. He saw that was it was a very very fas. So once again this not only the sensitivity of the asking what time is what time is the before for the to take place but in addition to that they mentioning it by and uh you know in my in my position in public service uh I have had like the many many opportunity to show the toanim who had just lost someone right before or the family of the K lost someone right before and so on. So I always gave them this encouraging, you know, to say this what you're doing now because this is what is erasing whatever you have lived experienced until now. It's it's amazing also you hear stories like this which are smaller and the youths and the you know had this personal connection but it's what's amazing is that this is huge already and it's not not the same it's not it's not but but the made sure to have that personal sh with with every like like in that in that way it's like uh it's unbelievable that type of thing. >> Yeah. Yeah. No, it is. And of course uh you know those days they dab in in the house for the year and um so I was doing so I had access you know I was there for every because like this I don't say there somehow I got to even though there's no but so every time I came in I was able to be there during Shiva there was mish measure a lot of people were there But then the whole week after that I was down there all the all the time. >> Okay. Amazing. So um it's before or after by the time this goes on to and the whole time the whole year it's important for us to know about our personal connection to the rabb every and every every person in the in the every person in the generation has this uh connection to to the rabbi sometimes you know it sometimes you see it some you know sometimes you have a story but I think it's also important I think one one of the ways to arouse that feeling and that connection is to think about the and the personal attention that the gave either to you or or to your mishbak to your your father your mother your zer you know and those that didn't have that hearing stories like this can really help us understand you know the personal connection that has withb. >> Yeah. >> Okay. And thank you for the for the warm faban. And I believe that I enjoyed every word. So I believe that many many will will too. And uh it sounds like we need to do a part two. So let's do a part two a different time. >> Good. Good. because I was I was gonna follow up with another paid attention but we could leave it for a part. >> So so so say another one. Let's go. >> Okay. >> This is this is a free conversation you know. >> Okay. Free flowing. >> It's like you know you think it's done. >> Yeah. >> I'm saying the whole time over here. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I have my water. It's good. >> Very good. um you know another um story I'll tell you actually two two very quick stories but uh and then the next the part two will be we'll talk about concepts >> like this >> okay go >> the the my is that u you know my my I saw a letter that my father got when my older brother was was born and in on the letter the writes uh the date it was uh was written as was typed. David turned with a pen. He changed the form and the letter is the regular letter, the same letter that I got when I had a baby boy. You know that right the regular gave and then the adds after the adds in connection to his birthday you should have and then there are besides my father's birthday is so the letter was originally tight as a and they have maybe it's but we can't really see they have a change with the pen the date you put the Z over there so in addition to writing a maz of the birth they also bench him for his birthday so it's very interesting because you know many people receive we know the stories about getting a letter from the for your child for your baby for your and you wonder if it's the same knows who you are wrote say your name everybody gives the same letter. It could be that everybody got uh the same letter, but each one of those letters was addressed directly and specifically to you to you to the point in which not only the know your name and he knows who you are on this letter but the knows your birthday and he mentions it. And this is also a very very important thing to realize that when we ask from the you know the is is is the of the and the is your of you the individual that you are and uh I think this is also the with realize that this is happening still now they have it called how much you know with all of the request with that we have to continue asking for and they will find a way to answer us and this is still happening and is answering you when you ask the answering you particularly you should be able to see it amen Amen. I'm okay. [Music]