Emotional Story: Passover Seder, A Secret, and A Second Chance

Here in here in Israel, we have aun known as arim. It's a type of kesher ahat or of sorts for Israelis that does incredible work. It does many seminars in different hotels. And I want to mention to you an incredible story which I know was a pro took place approximately 13 years ago over there amongst the Al Chuva from one of the women that was chuba. Her name was Tali. When she came back, they did a mach hagada seder in order to teach them what to do. She grew up on a kibbutz, more or less. She didn't know very much about what a sedar looked like or at least an appropriate seder, what it was about. So, what they do is they get many of their baluva and they make a mock seder in order to make them understand how it goes and what you're supposed to do. Cups, ones are picking up and ones are not when you're throwing it on someone else. what you're supposed to do exactly how many kbatas you're supposed to have etc etc as the they were about to start she told this RV who is the one in charge who's the one reporting the story which I heard it from that she was interested in recording it if you don't mind because I really know nothing and I'm going to forget most of the details and I would appreciate if I could record and therefore go over it let's say do a few reviews in order to be able to figure it out in order to do fine no problem she came back afterwards and started asking him some questions here and there. She asked him what about I also do women also do a that means leaning and he said yeah women who are do it and you're as we know to do it he said you're for sure because you're the one who's in charge of your household her whole entire family meaning her children and her husband were still not religious at the and they were still not religious and when he asked her how she's going to do it she said look I'll guess I'll have to take care of it but I'm going to make sure that we do this appropriately and even if my husband is uh completely not religious. I know he'll be he'll honor me or respect me or my needs and therefore she did it herself. mainly she went and helped her get together all her needs for the they helped her with the plates and the cups and all the wines that was necessary in order to make the in order to prepare the table that it looks like a like a kingly table to make it appropriate for the something that was completely foreign in the family she lived with and the family she came from. But she said if I'm going to do it, I'm doing it all the way. I'm going to do it 100%. She had a whole car full of food and everything that you needed in order to make the suda correct. And they special gifted her with a special disc with all the songs of of the pes which we might be familiar with and the denos in order that she could kind of figure it out. And there she was as he reports seeing her full a moose car full her full car with all this stuff singlehandedly taking care of it. Her kids were out doing their own thing. Her husband could care less about the whole event, but he was respecting her to let her do what she wants. And that's what she um and that's what she did. And she drove off and she drove off. At the at the after the about a day later after the seda was over the next day and during this person received a call. He received a call from this woman and he wanted to know new how did it go? Was it successful? Did it do okay? And listen to this incredible story which he reported. She basically said that yes nobody was interested. I asked my father. I invited my father to come an elderly man. He was up in his almost 80 years old and I invited him to come and to be in charge of the seder but he said he's actually a little bit of a short-tempered person but he was very respectful and he was willing to sit there in the table and to watch as I basically ran the whole entire show. Like I said my husband was sitting on the side watching as I tried to do my best to remember the things that you did during your mocked in order that I can repeat over the whole entire ceremony. And this is the climax and this is why I'm calling you. She said when we were going through the through the four sons I started with the and then I was about to say and the Russia what does he say and my father who was staying silent the whole time the grandfather of my children who was staying silent the whole time said shh now I'm going to talk what he said yes it's my turn. He said the Russia Russia. I am the son who is the Russia. I'm the Russia. He said this is what this woman never heard this from her father in her in her life. A very stern man, very very very affirmative man. Never put himself down. Always surefooted to whatever positions he had. And suddenly he's going ahead and calling himself a Russia. And then he started reporting a story about his childhood which I never heard. That's right. I grew up in this house my whole life. This woman was already almost 50 and I never heard this story in my life. And this is what he says. I was born in pre-war Poland to aid house, a very very house with beautiful parents that were very meticulous in their I was an only son. There were three daughters besides me. three sisters in other words. Three sisters that I had and they were neph for our they did everything even though their means was very meager. They did not have very much money but they did everything they could in order to make sure that we get the proper that and I should learn and the proper yeshiva and yeshivas and I should be uh you know and I should go up. Well, little did my parents know, but as I already was turning bar mitzvah age or so, I already started hanging out with some of the boys outside, we started connecting to the newspapers that were showing about Israel that was starting to become the tion development, the development of Zionism. We were much more connected to the enlightenment move in and the whole and the whole idea like I said of the Zionistic idea of going out and being free and therefore in the seder without my parents even realizing it when they asked me okay young why don't you go ahead and stand up on the chair and say the manishana and I was all the 15 years old I guess he wasn't standing on the chair anymore but anyways as he was 15 years old he was asked to say the manishana he stood up and instead of saying the manishana he started speaking about the Ben Arasha. He started saying Benasha. He started saying the whole capitol of what the Russia says and he started going off on a tangent, ripping everything that has to do with Judaism to pieces. He started saying all his philosophies and concepts which were foreign to his parents. They didn't even realize cuz he was just he was dressed to peace, but they didn't even realize what was going on in his head. and they took his pure parents at an absolute and incredible surprise. They didn't even believe what they were hearing. He says immediately he remembers it to like to this day which we're talking about a report of approximately 65 years later. I remember my mother going up in tears completely balling in tears and my sisters trying to appease her on the side. My father took a very uh appeasing but strong stand and he started trying to talk to me to be able to do but I had nothing to do with it. I went on and I ran to my room and over there I stayed in my room behind the door a meager door so I could still hear what was going on in the sedar but I went ahead and ran away from the Sedar saying I'm not interested in what you guys have to offer. He listened in on the rest of the Sedar and he heard basically that they went on with the man that his sister was saying and when they came to the words in the he remembers listening to his father say his father saying that we can never be misal because everybody has a pint inside of them. Everybody has a piece of kaduca inside of them. We shouldn't be surprised from what the Benasha sometimes says because we know that there is a kipa of the Yates. There's a little piece of the Yates that's inside of him from the kipot that we have and it's our obligation to pull out those kiput from bondage from those that are within. We're speaking on pes by bondage. Those that are captured sometimes have to be removed. And that's why we speak about the rush on sed because he also is captured sort of speak by his body by his day by his things by his philosophies. And therefore there's only one thing that can help such a person is obviously trying to give him the understanding that he needs and our dinging and our tears. That's what the father was saying to the other sisters to his daughters over there that were sitting there while I was listening behind the door to the whole entire enterprise. I was absolutely furious. My father's telling me, "I'm the kipa. I'm the one who's entrapped. You guys are entrapped. You guys are so short-minded, so primitive, so behind the times. Why don't you guys move on in life? Don't you see that the progressiveness that is going on in German society over here and the Polish that we're going ahead and living? You're stuck in your stuck in your old way of thinking a way of thinking. Wake up and smell the coffee. It's time to move on with life and to make and re have come to realization of what real society is all about. I was furious to the to the tone about what my father was saying. My father later on the next day during onto during the day he came up to me and he tried to have a talk with me and he tried to say Rabbony listen to my son. I re he said I received from my father a leid a torch. I received from my father the torch of Torah Israel that was come and he got it from his father from his father from Matanra. That torch has been passed on very momentously from generation to generation and it was never and it never went astray and it will it has continued and always will continue. My interests are to hand that torch over to you my dear son. I want you to take it. And yes, I know it's not easy with the surroundings that we are, but for 3,300 years, we've been doing it. And I know that you'll be able to uh to do it. We've spilled many tears over you and many dings. And we want you just to be an that's all I'm asking you to be an a good Jew to be able to do what's correct and to do what's right. As the father of this lady continues to report, he says, "I was, as I say, adishakar. I was called indifferent, disinterested. I had nothing to do with what this man was telling me. I I was born into a family. I was not interested in being born into. And I've told to my father with very dry face, with no interest, and absolutely unemotionally." He said that the this old laid, this old torch that you're talking about, I'm not interested in. It's already burnt out. The torch, the flame is not flickering anymore. Maybe it's a candle that's on its way out, but the new world is in. He says, now there's the new there's the new idea of being free, what we call um a non the non-religious Jew. We have the world of Israel of Medina Israel. And that's what's important. the one who speaks Hebrew or moving on to a different generation. And that's why I am not interested in this whole frame. And my father concluding words to me was basically, okay, it could be that while I'm still alive, it won't happen. But I do believe that after I'm dead, there's no prayer that never gets answered. Everybody has that peace inside of him, that little spark within him that eventually wants to get flourished and wants to come out and wants to get fed. And I believe in you, my son, that one day, you'll get there. The next day, me and my friends started making big plans. We started figuring out how we're going to find ourselves getting to Israel, to Medina, Israel or Erit Israel, depending on who you are. We're trying to figure out this and that. We spent the week of Pesak during that time period trying to figure out how we can get ourselves tickets and we were able to get boat tickets to Cafinim to to Kafin, which is the island of course as we know next to um Cyprus, right next to Israel. and we got ourselves down to Cyprus and eventually Barashem I don't know if it was by swimming but eventually they kind of made it to Israel so to speak to the Kyifa port after a long and brutal journey as he describes there he says I cannot describe to you when I left my parents right now what it felt like or what it looked like and I wouldn't be able to because it's not for me to speak about I it would be too difficult for me to speak about and therefore he did not want to say his final words to his parents but when He got he said to the Kyifa port and when he reached Israel and tried to find the new kibbut where he was in he says my pis my pot my side locks were switched with what we call a blurit with with bangs with a new hairstyle being trimmed to the sides getting my nice mohawk or whatever was required of me in order to be able to be there I changed my whole lvush everything that I dressed everything that I believed I took on the new Jew and yes my kipo was tossed in the ocean and nothing to do with me and I didn't want anything to do with it. After being there for approximately almost a year in Israel, we heard in 1939 of the war breaking out, World War II, which eventually broke out as we are familiar with. We heard about the horrible things and the atrocities that were going on to year by year, 40, 41, it was getting worse and worse that we knew. Eventually, I actually received news in 1941 or so or 1942, that time period, that my parents were taken to the gas chamber and my whole entire family. I learned that my whole entire family, my sisters, my mother, my father, who I had not spoken to since that day that I left in Poland, were all gone. They're up in Shamayim. I realized that that was it. because of my tip shorty and over here he admitted his foolishness being a foolish teenager that I was. I was mad at them. I was upset at them. I was so upset about what they did. I said I know I am right. Why didn't they I'm a fighter. I'm a one who pushes. Why didn't they fight against them? Why did they go as they say like sheep to the slaughter. Why did they let them do this to them? I'm so upset at them for letting them do this. I would have fought against them. I would have beat them up. I would have finished them up. if I would have never let them get away with what they got with if I was there. That's what I said. And being that I was quite disappointed, upset and bewildered by my parents and hug the way they act. I continued in my ways and stayed in a kibbutz. I was a big believer in the communistic movement as we understand over here was quite a communistic place. The kibbutim worked 100% like the beautiful communism Marxism type of way of thinking. I we built up houses. We drained swamps. We built up this whole entire place. We cut down trees. We built everything that we could in order to make it a place that was livable. This place was completely swamped up. It was the bugs and this it was a fested. It was an infested place. And we cleared it up. We worked in night and day sweating by our tears without any stop. We had a tremendous devotion in order to create this incredible phenomenon that we call Medina Israel, the place of Israel. And therefore, I fought for it tooth and nail to be able to do it and to begin my beautiful life as a as a Israeli as a free Israeli which would not be bound by the shackles of the anymore that I could go ahead and be successful in what I'm doing. However, a couple decades have passed and slowly but surely and again we're talking about 2013 where by then it was already gone. I realized that the kibbut movement is not making it. Slowly but surely as we know yes it lasted until the 80s even but barely by the skin of its teeth and then by the '9s it completely found a downfall. I suddenly realize that nobody's interested. the next generation is running with the tail between their legs out of the key would seem not interested in this whole system at all. Obviously, people prefer to be behind a computer or to go ahead and do something a little bit more productive than go ahead and till the fields besides the fact the whole commun communism was absolutely destroyed and it was a complete force. The whole entire idea as we're familiar with and he suddenly realized that everything I was fighting for, yearning for it, desiring for what I devoted my whole life to was coming to a close besides the kibbutim not being successful. As you are familiar with my dear daughter, your older sister, your older sister married a and she ran away to America. Your next sister sworn that she will never marry a man in her life. She doesn't believe in the whole thing and she doesn't want to. She has no interest at all. The only person that actually created a family and built a family is you. You're my daughter. Yes. And yes, you weren't so religious and you invited me to the sedar here. And he even says over there, it's a good thing that I only had daughters because I swore not to have anything to do with religion. If I had a son, I don't know if I would have given a brilliant one. I'm almost positive I would not have. That's where this person was holding. And here he is holding in his late 70s finally coming to a certain understanding and saying, "When you invited me here," he says to his daughter, "I didn't know what exactly you invited me for. I didn't know why you were here. We grew up with a little seder with Hagadot of the kibbuts. Aad of the kibbuts. I I saw one of them. You should know. It's absolutely the biggest joke I've ever seen in my life. It's a that talks about Israel and conquering Israel and coming here and this. They make the whole about the vanquishing and strength and tanks and planes and whatever you whatever you will. They turn pes into one bra one big mid is thing. It's unbelievable that they actually wor that they actually completely embellished the whole entire haga. But anyway, so I knew that I'm coming here. Suddenly I see you endorsed and and you completely dressed the table beautifully. Completely going ahead and leading with all the songs of the classics of what? Of all the things I remember from the all the things that I remember from the till the day I was 15 years old for the first 15 years of my life. You were singing all the denos and all the songs which I remember from those days of the past and it made me incredibly yes emotional. A person that you never saw emotional like I said her father was a fighter. He was a toughy. She said she was she testified I never saw one drop of a tear come out of my father's eyes ever. And over here he started getting a little bit of a swelling. He said he was more sweating than he was tearing. But as he was saying over the story but he you know he was going ahead and reporting and saying when you were doing this this took me very very difficult and suddenly I realized that I am the Ben Arasha that's why I had to stop you and tell you this whole entire story that you realize you're reminding me of the seder plate the carpass the zeroa all the different cups of wine that we were drinking the matzas of yester year and my fam and my family that ended up getting swallowed up in the Nazi chambers. And here I am later in life realizing in retrospect that it could be I made the wrong move. When my father told me back then that even when I'm alive you might not you might not see it but when I'm dead you will. I'm slowly starting to realize that maybe my father was correct. Could be that Sabah this daughter after hearing this incredible story she stops and tells her father guess what Abba well Sabah is handing me the torch but I'll tell you the truth I prefer to get it from you can you do me a favor and hand me the torch that he was talking about instead instead of having to go in between and jump my jump a generation I would love for you to do it and with that they continued the seder and finished up and that was the story that you reported to me. Well, guess what? That story took place in 2013. In 2014, Tshin Daled in Pesak in the kibuts of one of the last kibbut team that are still alive. There was a setter that took place. There was an elderly man sitting in front of it with a big big white keepa on top of his head and running it like a charm, knowing every single detail that needed to be done when being run by the sedar. He knew exactly what the cups had to do. He knew exactly what the how many matzahas are supposed to be there, how to break the af and how to wait and eat it at the right time. They were singing all the songs and he was running the whole entire show returns the hearts of the father to the children and the children back to their fathers.