Tomer Devorah with Rabbi Avigdor Miller's Commentary 4 Chapter 1 Mi Kel Kamocha

Shalom. We are learning to devor. We are in chapter one. Who is like you? God almighty and all merciful. And we said that Hashem gives us power even while we are sinning. God forbid. Hashem continues giving a person strength. Even though the man sins by means of the power which Hashem has given him, Hashem does not withhold that strength from him at all. We hear all the time that the United States gives weapons, whether it's to Ukraine or to Israel, but together with weapons come conditions. If you do this and this, we will continue supplying the weapons. If you don't, we will cut off all help. Hashem is not like that. Hashem continues to give you power. Hashem continues to give you weapons whether you do his will or not. He is merciful. Why? Because he believes in us. He doesn't suspect. He knows that inside of us, we have part of him, the good, the nishama that wants to do the right thing. And therefore, if temporarily we misstep and temporarily we do a sin, he is giving us a chance to perhaps correct our actions. >> [clears throat] >> The reason number two why Hashem can afford to be merciful is because he's always in control. He will never lose control. He can always stop us at a later point. Whereas the United States, if it doesn't put conditions to begin with, it might be too late. A result might happen that the whole world is going to be desta stabilized. However, for Hashem, it's not a worry. He knows how to control the world at every moment. So, he's patient. He can wait and give us a chance to do teshua, to fix our own mistake. Hashem tolerates such an embarrassment in that he showers upon the person the benefit and of the ability to use all of his limbs even though at that exact moment the person uses Hashem's gifts of strength for sinning and causing anger to Hashem. So the Tom Devora says that this is embarrassment. I am giving you a gift and you are spinning in my face. That is embarrassing for a human being. But still, Hashem tolerates it. He says, "I'm going to continue giving you life and the ability to function perfectly. A king of h flesh and blood would not be able to tolerate it. I told my servants to do something and they didn't do it. That shows that I am not a strong king and therefore the king will punish his servants to show I'm still in control. [snorts] You didn't listen to me and I'm going to punish you because you took away from my stature. You took away from my honor by not listening to me. and therefore I have to protect my honor and I have to punish you. Hashem is not like that. He doesn't care about his status because he cannot lose it. He is eternal. He is almighty. Nothing affects him. The entire universe can disappear. He's still going to be there. And therefore, Hashem is not afraid to be patient. And to us, it looks like an embarrassment. To us, it looks like a weakness. But for Hashem, there is no weakness. A strong person, the stronger he is, the more confident he is, the more calm he is. If you notice people who stress out, people who are controlling, people who get angry, it's because they recognize their own weaknesses. They know that they cannot handle it. They know that it will be a disaster and therefore they panic and therefore they stress out and therefore they force other people to do their will because they know that they themselves cannot handle. They will not be able to manage if things don't go their way. But Hashem can manage. Hashem is all powerful and therefore he's calm. He's patient. He doesn't get angry. We describe Hashem as getting angry but only because we receive a punishment. So in human perspective, someone who receives the punishment must be the other person got angry. But in Hashem's world, no such thing. The punishment comes from strict justice, not from anger. The person who gets hurt will say, "Oh, why are you getting angry?" There is no anger. It's calm execution of judgment. [snorts] Here is an example of how people should emulate this mid. Rabier is giving us an example how we can apply that character trait to us to ourselves. Let's say somebody is insulting you. He's standing there and speaking against you. He's raising his voice and shouting at you and demeaning you, putting you down, calling you names, embarrassing you in front of others. And then you notice that he's getting tired and you give him a chair and you say, "Here, you must be tired. Please have a seat. I'll give you a glass of water. Regain your strength, no anger, and you continue supporting him and giving him ability to continue embarrassing you even more. Or another example, let's say your wife is hitting you with her pocketbook. As he as she hits you, a dollar coin rolls out. You go gently pick it up and put it back into her pocketbook and you tell her, "Would you like a glass of orange juice?" That's what you should do to emulate Hashem. It's not crazy. This is actually the right way to behave. How is that possible? Because we recognize that everything that happens to me is a sign from Hashem. If someone is upset at me, it takes two to tango. Must be I did something. Maybe I was insensitive. Maybe I miscommunicated. Maybe I didn't think how my words will be interpreted and understood. So there is a fault of mine and therefore I take responsibility for my mistakes and I recognize that the person got angry for a reason and therefore I don't blame them and I don't attack them and I don't defend myself because I don't need to. I am safe, secure, and it's not dangerous for me. Their attack will not change my self-worth, my self-esteem, my position in front of God. Hashem is the one that provides me with all my needs and therefore I don't need to protect myself. I am safe in the hands of Hashem. Hashem will take care of me. If anybody is endangering me, Hashem will protect me. If anyone is wrong in their accusal of me, the truth will come out. I don't have to scream. I don't have to fight. I can stay calm because the power of Hashem is on my side. Tolerate people even though they are mean to you and despite the fact that they are exploiting your politeness. I am not going to be a criminal just because they are acting like that. I will not stoop down to their level and fight with them or steal from them, lie lie to them. I'm going to remain [clears throat] honest, honorable because I have nothing to fear. Hashem is on my side. [snorts] Now to devor continues, don't say that Hashem cannot withhold benefits. God forbid. Certainly he can. Hashem has the power to instantly dry up a man's hands and feet. In that moment when you want to do something against Hashem, he could let your hands wither as he did with Yavanam. People shouldn't say, you know why I continue to live and thrive? Maybe because Hashem didn't see. He didn't notice. I did it when it was dark. Or maybe Hashem set up a system in the world and the system is running and he cannot change it anymore. Something was allocated to me from Rosha Sha until Rosh shah and I'm safe. When next Roshana comes I'm going to do Shuva and I'm going to erase wash up my sin and again God will not be able to do anything. I'm tricking God. He says, "No, no such thing. Even if it was decreed from Rosh Shana, Hashem can change it in an instant." Hashem did not let go of the res. It's not like an arrow that you shoot and that's it. It flies and you cannot change its trajectory. It is rather like a guided missile. Hashem can change it at any second. Why doesn't Hashem change the good that's coming to us because he's merciful, because he's patient, because he continues to give us good. And now what is the story with Yeravam? When Yeravam, one of the kings of the Jewish people, wanted to do something, he raised his hand. He wanted to send his guards to [clears throat] seize and kill the prophet. Hashem said, "Your hand should wither, dry up." Hashem was making a demonstration that that's what he should do to all the sinners. Hashem doesn't do demonstration often, but he has that ability to punish immediately. People often ask, "If I don't get punished immediately, does it mean that I'll never be punished? Does it mean that God didn't see? Does it mean that that God doesn't care? He doesn't enforce the law?" And the answer is no. The sinner should be afraid. The punishment is coming unless the sinner apologizes. However, in the meantime, Hashem is patient. He continues giving most people power to sin. This is important for us to know. Let's say somebody speaks against you constantly. Nevertheless, you are polite and act as if he didn't do anything. [snorts] You should know that you're doing yourself a great benefit. And it's a very great evil for him. If you would answer, you would be equal. He punched you. He punched him. That's it. You both suffer and you both equal. That's it. Go home. But if he punched you and you didn't answer, then you are the winner. He has to be afraid the punishment is going to come to him. You didn't take the matter into your own hands and you didn't punish him and therefore you'll get the reward and you'll get the punishment. Once you reply verbally or physically, you took the matter into your own hands and Hashem says, "Okay, deal with it yourself. I'll leave it up to you. He hurts you, you punish him. That's it." The verse in Mish says, "If your enemy is hungry, feed him bread." What does it mean? And it explains because it's like pouring hot coal on his head. Now the interpretation is Hashem will say to this man, look what that guy is doing for you. He is nice to you. He is forgiving. He's ignoring your insults. And you still continue talking against him. See how polite he is to you? and you're still hurting him. The best way to get even with your enemies is to be kind to them because then Hashem is going to defend you and protect you and punish your enemies. Of course, your intention should only be kindness, not to get even because that would be dangerous. The Talmud says, "Whoever sends Hashem to punish his enemies in the end, he himself will be punished." Which means if we proclaim, let God judge between us, thereby we bring judgment from God upon us as well. Instead, we should be confident that there is a judge in the world. However, we should work on our character and say, "I want to be like God. I'm not perfect and Hashem still tolerates me. I should be the same like God. This man is not perfect and he hurts me, but I will tolerate him. Not because I want God to punish him, but because I want to be like God and be patient." And the result, yes, if that man doesn't do teshua, doesn't apologize to you, and doesn't apologize to God, he will be punished. But that shouldn't be our intent. When we are patient, it's because we don't want to repay evil for evil. We are giving him kindness instead of his evil. And hopefully that will inspire him and he will see the other side of us and he will reconsider his actions. But Hashem will get even with him if he doesn't do Shiva. The more polite you are to your enemies, the bigger their sin will be and the greater your reward will be. Because then when Hashem compares and he says, "Look, this man is a sadic. He is righteous. He controls his character, his emotions, he doesn't answer. He believes in me and look that other man is an evil person. He is hurting a righteous man and therefore his punishment will be so much greater. Now Tommy Dar continues despite the fact that Hashem has the power to withdraw the strength that he gives a person and Hashem could say if you want to sin against me sin with your own power and not with my power. I'll take away what I gave you and you will be nothing. However, Hashem does not withdraw his benefits from man because of this. Rather, he is willing to tolerate the embarrassment. Hashem continues to shower strength and do all kinds of good to this person while he is doing the sin. That is a humility and a tolerance that cannot be expressed because it is infinite tolerance. Hashem has all the power and we are completely in his hand. We do not have independent existence at all. Not even for a moment. Hashem doesn't need to punch us. All Hashem needs to do is stop the flow of life. He has to stop thinking positively about us. for a moment. If Hashem switches his thoughts, terrible catastrophe can happen to people, God forbid. And it means Hashem is positively, willingly, actively thinking good about us, sending us the good. That is great humility and great tolerance. And for this reason in Peralot the Malahim call Hashem the king who allows himself to be to to to be put to shame. Hashem allows himself to be embarrassed. It says me aloo the king who is embarrassed. Not that God has feelings of embarrassment rather he allows himself to look embarrassed because people are not following his will. And this is why it says me who is a god so powerful like you. That is the real power that we spoke about yesterday. The true power is when you are independent of people. No matter what they say and no matter what you do they do. You know your self-worth and you do not react. And yet, Hashem, you allow people who sin to continue with the power that you are giving them at that moment. You are God. You are God who bestows kindness, but you also have the power to take revenge and to reclaim your benefits. Despite all this, you tolerate offense and allow yourself to be insulted until the sinner returns into shuva in repentance. Now, Rabbi Miller explains, how do we implement this practice into our own lives? [snorts] Although we pro we probably won't be able to do the following exercise all the time if we practice it even once it will be a tremendous achievement. We have many opportunities during the day to practice this. Everyone has some difficulty with other people. Difficulties do happen. But in the moment, don't lose yourself. Imagine you had a button with the power to make someone collapse. Would you press the button when someone bothers you? Many people would gladly press the button. That's why when people get angry they wish the other person should die. If when they are sane they would think to themselves do I want to kill that man? Of course the answer would be no. His life is precious. The way he bothers me is not enough to kill him. But at the time when he does bother us, we are filled with anger and that removes common sense from us and we wish to kill him. And therefore, if we had a button to erase him completely from history, most people would do it. Imagine you have a different button that will give him more strength and continued happiness and a strong voice to shout at you. That would be crazy. Who would press such a button? I have two buttons in front of me and someone comes to attack me. I have a button to annihilate him and I have a button to make him stronger. Which button will I press? You should think, I'm going to imitate Hashem. No matter what this person does to me, I don't I don't want any harm to befall him. Hashem should bless him with strength and health. Imagine having a button that will make his blood redder, his heartbeat stronger, his brain wiser. whatever will make this fellow more successful and happy. Of course, we prefer that he stop bothering us and do toua. That's something else. But in that moment, you should try to imagine pushing this button without any conditions, even if he continues insulting you. This comes up constantly in marriage. Even when our spouse is shouting and rebuking us, we should want them to be happy and well. At that moment when they are scolding you, think these thoughts. I want them to be successful and happy and live long. It doesn't cost any money to have such thoughts and then you will be emulating Hashem and fulfilling the commandment of you should walk in the ways of Hashem and you will be emulating one of God's character traits. A very tall order. very difficult to do. But with practice, when it's easier, we will grow and it will be more manageable in more difficult situations. Someone doesn't talk to you with the respect that you think you deserve, don't point it out. Continue smiling and give them a blessing. Someone points out your faults, blames you even though you think you're innocent, say, "I'm going to be like Hashem. I'm also sometimes unhappy with Hashem, and Hashem continues to give me good. I will continue smiling, and I'll give them a blessing. Behold, this is a character trait of Hashem with which a man must conduct himself. I mean to say patience and tolerance and also to be put to shame even to such a degree like Hashem who continues to provide the tools and faculties of life to people while they use those faculties to sin against his will. And despite the great degree of abuse he might be suffering, he doesn't take away his benefits from the person who is receiving them. This is the first mid. So we must say that this is the easiest and the simplest of all the traits that we're going to have. There are 13 attributes of God's mercy. Now we are learning the first one. It's already we feel we reach the top and we just started. However, it is the most important to emulate the first step. The beginning is the most important because once you are on the way on the path you will continue. You will become better and greater. If you never started you might never start. Once you started it's already good. Practice makes perfect. practice with little things. With time, it's going to be easier to be successful with bigger things. It's not impossible. We just have to try. People don't deserve. It's okay. Sometimes I also don't deserve and Hashem still treats me well. I'm doing it for my benefit because it's my commandment to be like Hashem. I'm not here to change others. I'm here to change myself. So, Bzat Hashem, let us all start today and look for opportunities when people mistreat us, when people embarrass us, and let's continue smiling. Let's continue showering them with good, knowing that we are just like Hashem himself. Thank you for listening. Have a great day.