Tomer Devorah with Rabbi Avigdor Miller's Commentary 11 Chapter 5 Lo Hechezik LaAd Apo Hashem Do

Shalom. We are continuing to devor. We are in chapter five. The new aspect of Hashem's mercy is called ao. He does not retain his anger forever. Now just to speak briefly about anger in pavot we know that uh there are four levels of people. Some people get angry very easily and their anger is strong and lasts for a long time. Then you have some people who do get angered easily but they forgive they come down fast. So the first kind is the worst to get angry quickly and to calm down slowly. That's the the the worst um lot of anyone. Their life is not alive. The second one, they get angered easily, but they calm down easily. Is much better. At least they don't uh simmer in their anger for too long. But it's also not not u pleasant to live with a person who gets angry so fast. And it's also hard to live with yourself if you get angry so fast. The next level is someone it who it takes um a lot to become angry. Someone who is normally calm and stays calm under many different circumstances. Only in extreme cases he becomes angry. But unfortunately once he becomes angry he stays angry for a long time. It's hard for him to come out of his anger. He is uh not easily moved to become angry but he is likewise not easily moved out of his anger. So that is also not a desirable trait. Not as bad as um the other ones. But the best of all is someone who doesn't get angry so easily. And even after getting angry in extreme circumstances, he will forget and forgive very quickly. He will immediately calm down, regain control of himself and continue having peace of mind in himself and he will give out peaceful energy towards all his surroundings. So that is the best. We human beings are not perfect and therefore we know that sometimes we will get angry but we should make sure that that anger is short-lived. It takes us a long um time to get angry. A lot of stress to make us angry and even when we do become angry we catch ourselves right away and we calm down very quickly. That is the lot of tadikim. Those who worked on themselves and they are in complete control of um their emotions. They can claim that they achieve this u perfect state when their anger is small short-lived. And now we're learning about Hashem's anger. Hashem is perfect and therefore he only gets angry when it's good for people to experience the anger of Hashem. Um we strive towards it and we say that if a person wants to get angry he should try not to be angry inside. He should only become angry because someone in his life really needs it. A child, a person that can be influenced towards good only through anger, not through anything any any uh kindness. You tried all the nice things. And sometimes people understand only when they see that you really mean it. When they see that you're a little bit upset. So in in a very small number of circumstances anger is permissible. But even then the anger should not come out of our need to vent our need to um express our frustration. That is a weakness. Rather anger can only come from the need of the subject to understand the subject matter. Which means if we speak to our children and they lost that they are throwing tantrum or they are uh impolite and they don't understand when you speak to them calmly. So then you can show them anger and the difference from expressing anger from the within and that is a weakness and showing anger only on your face is that in the first case I am not in control and in the second case I am in control. I am looking at my child seriously and he understands that I did something wrong and that's it. Inside I'm smiling. Inside I wish good on my child and therefore my anger is going to be like Hashem's anger. It's going to be short-lived and it's only going to be external for the benefit of my child. As soon as I see that my child got the message, I'm gonna smile inside. There's no difference. I was smiling inside, calm on the inside. Before I showed uh an angry face during my show of angry face, I'm still calm and happy on the inside. And after I finished showing the angry face, I remain calm and happy. I'm not upset at my child for bothering me, for breaking something. I'm calm and happy. So now let's read how does Hashem treat us with this kind of anger. This is a different character trait from the ones we learned above. Even if a person continues to hold on to his sin, he didn't change. After Hashem gave him the good and the person misused the good and rebelled against God, Hashem continues giving him the good and the person creates evil uh energy, bad energy in the world. And now Hashem has to sustain those angels, destructive angels, stopping them from causing damage. And Hashem says, "I'm going to do that anyway." And to the level that we learned last time that Hashem continues treating the Jewish people like his relatives, forgiving and forgetting as if they are his own children. And now we're saying when the person continues like a rebellious child and he continues to sin in front of Hashem, Hashem after a while does not retain his anger because he sees that the person doesn't understand and if he continues in this way he will end up losing his entire So, Hashem allows the expression of anger but he does not retain his anger and his anger does not continue. It's not forever. Rather he causes his anger to be nullified even if the person will not repent. person sinned once again he produces destructive angels and Hashem feeds them protects the person from his own destructive angels goes beyond the letter of the law extra patient with him and the person continues Hashem expresses a tiny bit of anger and right away contains it this has to be explained it's not necessary it's not necessarily a benefit for the person that Hashem does not sustain his anger. Now, Rabbi Miller explains that having good life is not necessarily good because if Hashem does not show his anger towards a person, the Talmud says it's a sign or it can be a sign not of Hashem's patience, which it usually is, but it may be a sign that Hashem gave up on this person. And Hashem says, "That's it. I tried and the person closed his mind. The person is in denial. Anytime he hears the word religion, anytime he hears the word God, anytime he hears the word Torah, anytimes anytime the person hears the word doing good, he blocks his mind and says it's not for me. Don't talk to me about God. Don't talk to me about religion. And Hashem says, "I sent him many messengers. I sent him hints. I sent him wake up calls and he's not budging." And he made up his mind that he's not changing. So, Hashem may say, "Okay, I'm going to sign his decree that that's it. He's going to gam forever. God forbid. In the meantime, I don't want to bother with him. I'm just going to give him peaceful life that he shouldn't bother anybody, shouldn't come to me asking me things. I'm just going to give him everything because he doesn't want to recognize God. I'm not going to give him opportunity to recognize God anymore. Things are going to go well. As they say, there is no atheist in the foxhole. When a person is in trouble, he all of a sudden remembers God. So, I'm not going to give him any trouble so that he shouldn't remember God. And therefore the sages say that when things go extra well for someone that someone should worry perhaps God gave up on me. And Raber continues, it's not necessarily a benefit for the person that Hashem does not sustain his anger. There is no such thing as getting away with a sin. But Hashem is willing to yield and allow that person to live successfully without punishment for some time in the hope that in the future he will do toua and and men his ways. However, if the person doesn't, if he gets used to Hashem's patience and he assumes that Hashem is going to continue being patient forever and will forgive him, then the fact that Hashem was patient with him was not a benefit for him. As far as Hashem's system of managing the world, this is a good mida. From Hashem's perspective, he's doing the right thing because he is he does not want wish to punish people excessively. He and therefore he's willing to yield his anger. But from the person's perspective, if that's the only way Hashem deals with him, he might be in great trouble. Now, uh, therefore, Hashem will at times allow his anger to be expressed for a split moment. And Rabbi Cordova gives an example as we find in the days of Yavam Ben Yosh, not to be confused with Yavan Ben Neat. Yavan Ben Yosh was a king of the 10 tribes and Hashem gave him good time. He allowed him to restore the territory of the 10 tribes in the land of Israel which had been taken away from them by Aram which is modern day Syria. Hashem gave him a victory and he was able to conquer that land. The previous kings lost that land to Aram and Yavamin Yosh was able to conquer it back even though he didn't deserve it because the people had served idols calves. This doesn't mean they actually served idolatry, but they had two golden calves in the territory of the 10 tribes and it was forbidden to make any such symbol. The calves were just a reminder of the golden calf which was a reminder of Hashem. They built those calves to remind people don't you make a mistake to serve golden calves. It's like sounds uh confusing but to remind themselves of their mistake they had the mistake in front of them always. Ne nevertheless this kind of symbol is forbidden. So they were maintaining their sinful deeds of not destroying any form of idols. Yet, Hashem gave them a victory, and they were able to restore the land that they had lost. Hashem had pity on them even though they did not repent. If so, why did Hashem have pity on them? Because of this character trait, he does not retain his anger forever. On the con contrary, he causes his wrath to decre to decrease even though the sin is still in existence and they didn't change their ways. Hashem doesn't punish rather he waits and has pity because he hopes they might yet repent. This is what is meant by the verse inhaleim. He will not quarrel forever nor will he hold it against you forever. This means that Hashem always will not always hold it against a person to punish him immediately. Rather, Hashem sometimes tries soft ways and sometimes stern ways. whatever is in the best interest of Israel. Rab explains, "Sometimes stern ways will help people to do tou and if stern ways will not help, Hashem takes away the stern ways and tries again gentle ways." Uh our rabbis say that until the Holocaust, Hashem was behaving towards the Jewish people with stern ways with all the pagans and the Holocaust persecutions until after the Holocaust. The story goes that the the rabbis, the remaining rabbis got together and they prayed to Hashem and said, "Hashem, it's too difficult for us. Please have pity on the Jewish people and uh take away harsh uh punishment from us." And Hashem said, "After the after the Holocaust, I will now change my approach and I will deal with you gently. The poverty that was before World War II was replaced with wealth, plentifulness, the pagome was uh replaced with acceptance. And now all over the world, even though there's an increase in anti-semitism, but overall Jewish people have had good times in the last um 70, 80 years. And um the reason is because of this mida the the short time of anger passed and now comes the time of gentle ways. It's like the verse in Mish says a wise man disputes with a fool. He is uh angry and he smiles yet there is no satisfaction. First the wise man is angry at the fool and afterwards he smiles but nothing helps. When you're deal dealing with a fool, you have to try both ways. Some people react to pain. They run away from pain. Some people react to reward. they are drawn towards selfish benefit. So you have to try both. Some people will be influenced by reward and some people will be influenced by punishment. The gar explains that Hashem is the wise one that the verse in Mish is referring to. When he applies this mida smiling upon the sinner and hoping he will repent, the sinner should think, look what Hashem is doing for me. Maybe it's time for me to change my ways. Hashem delays his anger so the sinner will have time to do tou that he will look at his life and say you know what I recognize that I made mistakes and nevertheless I have good life. I want to thank Hashem for not punishing me, for being patient with me, continuing to do good with me, and out of my gratitude, my teshua, my repentance is going to be out of love. If he doesn't, then the extra time Hashem gave him was not for his benefit. However, from the perspective of Hashem's system of justice, it's a display of kindness. Even though the person didn't benefit from the kindness, nevertheless, Hashem's intent was for the person's benefit. If a person ignores that opportunity, he is a fool. Then Hashem has to apply stern way towards him. And now by Cardo brings this down to our level. How do we use this character trait of Hashem? This is how a person should emulate Hashem and behave toward his fellow man. Even if he is in the right to cause to cause adversity to someone or their children and they would suffer thereby even though they deserve the punishment because they wronged you and they cause you harm. Sometimes you have aic right if somebody did something wrong to you to cause them trouble. Yet despite having the right he will not increase or continue his rebuke against that person. He will not continue his anger even if he has already become angry. Rather in emulation of Hashem, he should nullify his anger and not and not continue his anger endlessly. Even if it's permissible anger and even if the person didn't change his ways, but I have to worry about myself. I have to build myself up to the level of Hashem. I have to for my benefit to begin with stay calm and stop my anger because thereby I will be like Hashem and thereby I will earn great amaba. It's a service to God to say, "Hashem, in your honor, I will not be angry and it's a a benefit to us forever and ever. Even if it's permissible to anger, let it taper off until it stops. Don't excite yourself. And when you notice that I am calming down and I am not angry at this person, don't be upset at yourself and say, "Look at me. I forget so easily. People hurt me and I don't bear a grudge. That's wrong." No, it's the right thing to forget easily. It's the right thing to forgive. It's the right thing not to bear a grudge. It's the right thing to be nice. Your wrath should come to an end. And now Rabbi Cordova gives a mashal. This is like how our sages explain the verse in paratish mishpatim says when you see the donkey of your enemy lying under his load you have to help. Now the question is how can you call a fellow Jew an enemy if you see a donkey of your enemy fallen and lying under its load. Me I don't have enemies. A Jew should be my enemy. What is the Torah talking about? If you see a donkey of your enemy, who has enemies? The sages explain what is this animosity, this hostility? How can a Jew have a an enemy? You saw that man at one time doing a sin. The only reason to hate someone is because they went against God, not because they dis disrespected us. But it was a case where you witnessed his sin alone and therefore you cannot go to the court of law to bathe in and testify because a single witness cannot testify. Now you know for yourself that this person is a sinner because you witnessed him sinning clearly but you cannot do anything about it. Your testimony, your loan testimony will not be accepted in court. You need two two adult males for that. And therefore you have a hostility toward him because of that sin. You understand that he made a mistake and he's not fixing it and therefore you are justified to feel angry towards him. What is being taught here is that it's explicitly stated in a verse. When you see the donkey of your enemy lying under the load, you must help him. What does it mean? When the verse specifies that it's the dunkey of your enemy, it could be due to a flaw in yourself that he is an enemy. You happen to have a an imperfect character and therefore you have a lot of enemies. The more imperfect you are, the more enemies you have. It doesn't necessarily mean you are justified in having hostility toward him. Maybe you're wrong, but the Torah will never use the word that doesn't fit it perfectly. Just because you dislike a person is not a justification to call him an enemy. If the Torah calls him an enemy, then means he really is the enemy in the world. That's why the gariah explained that you saw him sin and if you had another witness it would have been your duty to testify against him so that bin could punish him. Since you are a lone witness you cannot do anything but you are justified in viewing that person as an enemy of the Jewish people. Even then even though you have a right to be an enemy because you saw him transgress the Torah. Nevertheless, after a while, calm down. Let it taper off. And even if you have to help him, you should do so to emulate the ways of Hashem. Even a sinner, you should go out of your way and help because Hashem does so. And the Torah instructs you should help with him. Azov, the the Hebrew word for help, which usually means forsake, leave him alone, here is used for help. How could the same word mean both forsake and help? It means the Talmud says forsake what's in your heart against him and help him. The Torah on purpose uses the word which means leave it behind and go help him. Forsake what is in your heart against him. Rather, it's a mitzvah to bring him close to you with love and you should help him. And the Torah is telling us that this is one of the ways to bring people closer to God. When you treat them well despite their mistakes, you're giving them a chance to re realize that there are good people in the world. That serving Hashem is good. Look, this person is helping me even though he knows I did something against him. I love Jewish people because they're so good. Let me learn more about Judaism. Maybe it will help in this way when he sees that you are bringing him closer. Maybe he will be attracted to you and from you he'll learn about God. This approach is exactly this mida of not retaining one's anger. He may think maybe I have to change my ways. See how good how good a religious Jew is. Maybe I should also become a religious Jew. Even when you have a justification to be displeased with somebody, nevertheless, you should let it taper off. Even if the other person doesn't change, still after a while, you should stop feeling any kind of animosity for your sake. You should even do things to help him if necessary. If you have to help him, you should do so to emulate the ways of Hashem. That's how far you have to go to emulate where that hashem does not sustain his anger forever. Hashem, may we out of our love and honor to God do some sacrifice for him and say even though someone hurt me for the honor of God, I will be calm and I will forgive them. Uh thank you for joining. Have a great day.