Rabbi Akiva Rutenberg - Turning Negativity Into Positivity

incumbent on all of us to to think about those that that died in September 11 but also to try to learn something from the experience and try to learn something from it now it's 12 years from that time but to me personally and um I wasn't there when when it happened I was was in Queens but um this affected many people on many many different levels not just the people that were in the towers or the people that lost their jobs many many people l their jobs afterwards who had work in the area um but I was just you know in a marriage counseling session with somebody U about two weeks ago and the person told me that he was standing there next to the building and saw bodies flying down from the building he was traumatized by that experience it actually caused a whole chain reaction that was quite negative for this person but personally anyone who knows me I like focusing on positive and I think to me when I think about September 11 the first thing that comes to my mind is those firefighters policemen running up the steps while everybody else was running down and that image of my mind obviously they didn't know that the buildings were going to collapse but running up into a disaster as everybody else is running down for de life is something that made a tremendous impact on me personally because what they did at that moment was they went outside of thems they stepped outside of them himself it wasn't about a job at that point it wasn't about a career it wasn't about even that somebody instructed them to do this but it was they had an opportunity to save others and that calling became so great that nothing else really made made a difference at that moment and although it should never we should never be in that situation that we should have to make that kind of decision or be in that situation we have to do something like that I think it's something that when we think about this time between we think about what what this time is about I think it's a time when we need to think about how we can step out of oursel a little bit and think about others care about others the EM fellowship program that we have Emma leaders Fellowship we just had our Rejuvenation last yesterday we all rejuvenated um and yesterday and the leaders Fellowship we focus on on leadership and one of the messages that I was sharing with the students yesterday was to be a real leader you have to be willing to step a little bit outside of yourself and I think that that that is a message that's very appropriate to all of us I wanted to share a when I was rashash I heard this on rash there a few people that heard this yesterday I apologize um but it was very powerful to me and I want to just repeat this there was um a rabbi who said over that he had heard personally from Rabbi H wein her of his was the former um head of the U Orthodox Union probably the largest Jewish organization next comes em not yet um but um with your help yeah um so and very very renowned psychologist and learned and um rewi of now is in his late 70s but this story took place in the' 60s 1960s and he only recently said over the story that he was having some doubts and his own faith even rabis sometimes have doubts in their own faith he was having doubts so he called up theab was known to be a person with great wisdom person a very caring person and he called toi butabi would not usually take people's calls so you have to speak through the the gab the SE so he calls the and he says I would like to speak to the B says who is this he says a yid a Jew from Baltimore so the Babi says to him through the messenger he says what do you want he says I'm having some questions about my faith and I feel like the rebi can help me guide me through my questions rebi says back through the messenger and says if you live in Baltimore the person to speak to is Rabbi H wiin he's the one who I'm going to give you a blessing right now can answer all your questions so w responds back through the messenger and he says please tell him that I am Rabbi HW and he says back to him and the message without a beat responds back to the messenger to tell him he says in that case tell him he needs to speak to himself more than he does and basically made the point of saying very often we know what we need to do we know what's right we know let's say we should spend more time with our children we know we spend more time with our children we know that we should be doing these things but we don't we don't do it and I think one of the messages that we can incorporate for r as we go into Yip is to talk to oursel a little bit more maybe not in public but to talk to oursel and to remind oursel remind oursel of what what we really want to do how we really want to live our life so often in life we get distracted we get distracted by just the day day grind that we forget what's really important and what's really valuable I often share the story of the philosophy Professor on the first day of class with the the golf fls you guys familiar with this story philosophy Professor on the first day of class she takes an I'll just say quickly she takes an empty jar of mayonnaise puts it on the table and she tells the class is this jar empty or full and they all say it's empty and then she takes a bag of golf balls and she fills the golf balls into the jar and she says is it full or empty and they say it's full she goes underneath it she takes a bag of Pebbles she fills it up with pebbles and she says is it full by now they're quiet and then she takes a bag of dirt and sand pours it in and finally liquid chocolate and she tells the class she says this is a metaphor for your life the jar is your life the golfs are the most important things in your life those are the things you would literally die for those are the things that you'll talk about at someone's funeral their values their Community their family what's the next level what's the Pebbles the L are the things that are very important but not as important as that your job your career your getting your raise getting your your your car your house they're very important but you can lose all that and if you still have a family that loves you and if you have values that to hold on to you'll be okay you could go from your house into back into your apartment and it'll be you'll be okay if you have a family that loves you you'll be okay if you have values to hold on to you can withstand anything what about the sand and the dirt she said that's what most of us spend most of our life doing worrying gossiping all the silly things that we spend that we spend most of our life doing and she said to the class she says what are most of our Lives fil with what do you think the sand the Pebbles or the go you know what the sand is right the sand is is silly things worrying about the garbage worrying about you send someone a text message they don't respond within 30 seconds you wonder if they still like you you know the silliest sliest stupidest things that we worry about so much of our life right what's our jars made up of sand a lot of sand in this economy not as many Pebbles right but how many gol balls how many golf balls not that many so she says what why is this a metaphor she goes if your jar if you make a priority for the golf balls there'll be plenty of room for Pebbles and sand but if you let your jar get filled with sand and Pebbles then what are you going to say what's the most common line that people say when you ask them why don't you do what you know you should be doing I was just speaking to in Queensboro College there very nice group of students over there and I asked him a question I said how much is your eyesight worth to you okay if you were a billionaire would you give up a billion dollars for your eyesight you would right if would you give up a billion dollars for your child's eyesight you would but that same child you might not spend any time with that child right there was a true story I heard it's true but I didn't hear it firstand of a child who whose father was a lawyer and he comes to his father was a very busy guy and he comes to his father and he was begging him was a nine-year-old child he says tell me how much you make an hour and the father's like no why are you bugging me it's okay I give you everything you need he goes I want to know how much you make an hour and finally the kid the father told him I may I I bill $400 an hour and the kid says I have in my bank for my birthday $300 can I get4 minutes of your time okay true story we we don't make it a priority even though we know that that should be a priority because we're so full because we are full our jars are full somebody asked in the back of the class what about the liquid chocolate she said the metaphor for that is there always room for the chocolate I'd like to introduce the next speaker good before I do so I want to give a special Ma I cannot count to every person here who deserves a ma but um almost everyone does um I want to give a very special ma if I miss you please forgive me to um Milana and Johnny Johnny and Johnny Johnny I just met today for the first time Milana has been an MS student for a long time who just got married about two weeks ago how many weeks ago three weeks ago oh the old mared to the okay three three weeks ago um and um to Anatolian Rema who came here today with with with with their baby girl to [Applause] um Yuri and [Music] um's birth Michael's birthday today um you had a baby what okay M up to everyone um and may may this year be a year of of of Happiness of joy of success in in all your endeavors Amen in order to make a real success it means we have to turn even the what we think is a negative moment into a positive moment um next speaker today is RAB goodaker a very very integral part of the emed organization who as as umaker spoke yes I'm sorry spoke yesterday that there's five different levels of Holiness when I introduced ra last night I said ra he's constantly in that fifth level um and occasionally We rise to that point and he's like yes I'm waiting for you I'm here please give your attention to R good