Elul Class/Maamr Eni Ledodi: Searching for Your Heart? Head back to Where You First Lost It

morning good morning [Music] welcome thank you thank you for the honor lot of in your work uh [Music] there's one source sheet right he brought yeah [Music] okay we could begin right we could begin we can yeah okay thank you [Music] oh no [Music] okay good morning everybody and welcome back it's great to be back thank you everybody for gracing us and may you all be blessed with an amazing incredible blessed year to you and your loved ones and families especially our brothers and sister so before we begin we'll say a Capal to hm for all of the soldiers and all of the hostages and all of their families and all of those who are wounded and need a complete recovery and a speedy recovery and all of our brothers and sisters thank you thank you very much thank you bar hasem we're back I hope everybody rejuvenated H okay so we'll start cap that's 123 and the next is today's class is dedicated by marber Davis in honor of yel Miriam gray for complete and speedy recovery and success in her life giv professional work with gratitude for her friendship generosity and courage amen thank you so very much we are of course now in the last month of the year the month of el tomorrow will be the 15th day of the month which is midday which is the mid month so today we're going to learn a very powerful and moving touching discourse connected to the month of el which leads us into sh and yer and gives us I think gives us also tremendous empowerment and perspective and also tools of tuning in to our opportunity and gift and privilege during this time of the year as you could see in the headline this is from a saer called which is discourses by the Bal that's and it's one of his one of his discourses that begins on the it was said by the balat of who was born in 1745 actually on the 18th of which is going to be this shabas the 18th of el is the birthday of the Bal before that it's the yard of the maharal of Prague it's the birthday of the b in 1698 and also the birthday of the balat in 1745 this m was said in the year T which is 1797 you won't be tested on all the on all the numbers siano I just like giving historical dates I I think it gives a full picture so we're talking about quite a while ago 1797 he said this discourse and the which is of course everybody knows a verse from sh from the song of songs means I am loyal to my beloved one and my beloved one is loyal is dedicated Le to me so it says in already from earlier Generations says that is one of the acronyms of right is in Judaism acronyms are not just random it's like oh you found a word and it has an acronym but there's a thematic significance so that's what he's going to come to explain I took out some uh I cut and copied and paste some of actual text so we could learn inside and hopefully cover at least a significant amount explains begins work the service which is called me approaching my beloved one this is called an arousal From Below something called and is arousal From Below is an arousal from above it's like sometimes I can begin the relationship and then it's reciprocated or sometimes you can begin the relationship and I reciprocate right there's two different ways everybody knows in a marriage sometimes one person arouses inspires or the or the other person initiates so that's the difference between there's another that says but here it begins I I reach out in other words there's an arousal From Below then comes and then there is a much more intense Revelation from above oner but the month of el is the beginning of AR from below and he's now going to explain what this means says says that is the time of the revelation of the 13 attributes of compassion that's why by the they begin begin much later right before because of that they get to eat rice and PES we don't quit pqu but they have to get up very early in El that was just a joke so the the reason they do from the beginning of because in we say many times the 13 attributes of compassion and during the time of is the time of the revelation of these 13 attributes it starts Etc but it's interesting that Still Remains a regular month and it's called week days it's not considered a like shabas on there's a certain revelation of divinity of Holiness and that's why we don't do work because we want to be open to that flow to that festive energy so shabas and yam is a time when there's more intense Holiness that flows in the world and in order for the person to be able to be receptive to that I need to disengage from my regular mundane life and all of my day-to-day activities which we call work and that's why sh and are holy days but we don't see that in the entire month of is it's regular weekdays in terms of work we know it says you have the revelation of the 13 attributes of compassion and is considered the holiest day of the year yet which also has this revelation regular weekday so that's very interesting usually whenever there's such a revelation of Holiness in the world it's reflected in the fact that it's either shabas or yam when we disengage from our mundane activities relative to the days of the week but El is something unique on one hand we say there's a tremendous revelation of the 13 which also says about but it's certainly not like it's a difference between and so what is the difference so this will be understood by the metaphor everybody has heard this metaphor in the past about the month of el but this is actually the source of it inside this is a metaphor that comes from the balat the alter known as the king in the field and this is actually the source for the entire metaphor that's quoted frequently and often about the month of el and this metaphor is really trying to explain what is the energy in the month of and why it's not a shabas and not a yam it will be understood a metaphor of a king before he comes to the city before the Monarch comes to the city he goes out to the field and then all the people from the city go out to greet him and welcome in the field and then there is permission there's opportun whoever wants can go and greet and welcome and talk Ando anding and connect with their leader and he welcomes everybody with a pleasant and happy and delightful countenance and displays a glowing face is a face filled with smiles and joy and Delight like when I'm happy to see somebody and your face is glowing he displays this glowing shining happy face to everyone then when he goes back to the city the people in the field follow when he comes to his inner chamber here one goes in only with permission and also in order to get an appointment with the King himself in the palace it's usually people of renown people ministers people who are close to the king people who are involved in running the country Etc they get in to go to the King this is a metaphor for the month of el when we go out to welcome or absorb his light in the field what is the meaning of this there's the king the way the king is in the palace everybody knows not everybody could walk in even not with Kings even with prominent leaders or presidents or prime ministers not everybody could just walk into the office first of all you need an appointment and for the appointment you can wait a month a week sometimes a year two years you need protey you need connections and even then you have to have a good reason why you're coming and why do you need an appointment so first of all you can just go in whenever you want and even those who get permission and first of all not everybody gets permission not everybody could go in and even those who go in need to get permission that's only in the palace but then there's the time that the king comes out to the field B when the king comes out to the field here it's a completely different situation here is like he's like one of the people here anybody can approach and how do they approach they approach the way they are they're in the field they don't get dressed they don't have to put on a special uniform they don't have to wait for months they don't need prote you doesn't have to be a special person they don't need to even have permission there's complete access to every single individual no matter who he or she is no matter what state they're in no matter how they're dressed no matter what their occupation is to go over and connect you'll say but it's the king in the palace you would never do this you would make sure to get the right outfit you make sure to come in the right time you make sure to have the permission you make sure to appear the answer is the king came out to you in the field he wants to be with you on your terms not on his terms so therefore it's like uh they'll have you know I don't know if it's a good metaphor I mean he said this in in in Russia this is zaris zaris Russia during the days 1797 was during the days of Powell you had Elizabeth and Katherine the Great and Peter who was I think assassinated and you had Powell and then you had Alexander and then you had Nicholas the Russia Mara who did the kistan so this is in the days of Powell so a king was a very very serious thing you know it's not like today we don't really understand what a monarchy is I mean the best you get is the king of England and it's not a serious monarchy it's a constitutional monarchy with a parliament and a prime minister but uh the king in those days in the 1700s you know the Russia was not a democracy it was zaris Russia and the King was was the king just hearing the Name of the King created a now some kings were benevolent some kings were were mad some kings were desps and tyrants and dictators and some Kings were wise and and caring and compassionate people so there was a time that the king would go out to the field just to as he would say fa with the like you'll have a campaign Trail you know in a campaign Trail the president or the president candidate especially does not put on a tie why he'll put on a different type of uniform why in the White House you'll never see him without a tie the reason is cuz the point is I want to connect to Joe the plumber I want to connect right to Jim the farmer I'm one of you if it's sincere it's not sincere a separate question but the concept is you don't have to get dressed and you don't need permission I'm one of the people so the B says this is the uniqueness of the month of el is already like the King goes back to the Palace so here somebody needs to prepare in order to go in there's a certain re and there's a certain Revelation El he's in the field so on one hand you have a tremendous revelation of so why is it not ch sh you disengage from work sh you disengage from your regular day-to-day life the is he's coming into the field in other words I'm coming into your life the way you are don't disengage from anything and it's not just physical we're talking here emotional psychological spiritual I want to connect to you where you are the way you are physically and emotionally and socially and so forth so he's coming out to the fields on one hand is a tremendous Revelation but it's still it's weak days because it's not one one in which there's an intense awe that demands from the person to disengage from their regular life and enter into the palace on the contary it's a very intimate closeness where I just want to be close to you and know who you are in your regular daytoday life and in your day-to-day emotional experiences and vicissitudes we want to connect over there and that's why it's if you don't want to come out in the field you don't have to come out on the field I could stay in my farm and stay with my chickens and stay with my sheep and goats and say I'm not interested there has to be an interest from the person who says I want to go meet you so that's of the month of and that's the mus of this also explains why it's interesting you know El is such a great month and yet in you don't see any mention of the month of el you have the holidays you have PES you have of course you have you have y it's not called it's called the seventh month the first day of the of the month you blow you have you have sukus the month of el is not mentioned even in gamar where the month of el is mentioned but the the the emphasis in El comes only from later generations especially in the works ofab and and but this explains it because the whole idea of is not that there's this intense overwhelming Revelation like shabas and yam it's the king is in the field and therefore in many ways it looks like a very simple day but in that simple regular day you have in a way the deepest type of relationship because I'm coming to hang out with you the way you are so this is his introduction what does this mean in a person's life obviously this is a metaphor we're not talking here about a necessarily a physical field and a physical Palace and a physical City so now the balat is going to explain what this means in a person's life so he starts explaining when you say Hashem comes out to the field it's a metaphor of the idea that we all have different parts in ourselves every person's life has so many different parts and our schedule is comprised of different parts and our soul is comprised of different parts the king coming out to the field means that I want the relationship with all of your parts I want a relationship with you in your most Primal regular simple self in other words I don't need you to dress you know sometimes you have to dress up for what do they call it a black tie event you have to shabas to get Dr to decorate the house put a beautiful I don't have to tell all that over here about sh preparations for shabas and says it's a whole different May regular regular days we're talking the week days of of course you have the chabas of spiritually what that represents is I don't need you I don't want you to dress up I you can dress up if you want but the point is I want to get to know you and connect to you and you should be able to connect to me with every aspect of your being with your existence in its most raw and natural and authentic and Prim self and that's what he says in the field inside of us and everybody therefore everybody has access it's not like you say this is a child you don't have access or you're not a distinguished person you don't have access or you're not dressed well enough you didn't make an appointment or you have to wait do you have no good reason the whole point in the field is you don't need a reason and it's not about age and it's not about demographic it's about the fact that I'm coming to you and therefore I want to connect to you on your terms the way you are the only thing is can you show up can you show up for that relationship sometimes that's the hard thing to explain what this means on a deeper level so he starts explaining what the word is the first one of the 13 attributes is we say so that reel says that's an introduction the first of the 13 is kale the name of the Jewish people is why is so one of the explanations is is is a combination of two words with a in the beginning the word s means a ruler like SAR meant rulership or even today you have a sar is like a minister somebody who's a ruler a leader s is a form of leader is leadership so s means in Hebrew when there's a in the beginning it means it's perpetual it's cont like the this is what will always do so what's is that is isale the kale is a inside of the Jew in other words what rules the Jew whether it's the man or the woman or the child the S inside of is is kale the yud is it's constant it's a Perpetual State of Consciousness that the kale is the size what rules me there's different parts in me but what rules me it's the kale in every Jewish Soul no matter whom there is literally a Divine spark and he says Mish in other words it's not an exaggeration it's not drama it's not to be Charming or nice it's it's a spark literally of godliness so it's not like you have a relationship with God but rather there's a there's a a person has a Consciousness which is a derivative of infinite Consciousness it's it's a derivative itself of godliness this gives life to his his or her Divine Soul therefore by Nature it gravitates is it it pulls it gravitates to remain one with the light of life with the source of life love to completely be aligned the soul should be completely aligned with hem and this is beyond intellect or analysis in other words this is not a logical thing that because I have a logical reason or a pH reason therefore have a relationship it's deeper than that it's the deepest core of the person is that you're a you're m is one with Hashem you are Divine and therefore in that deepest place there's natural alignment there natural connection with a person wants to have wants to be connected constantly that's what thek means when it says your children as the says the child is is is an extension means like the leg the knee of the parent of the Father the definition of the relationship of the leg to the head it's not two separate things that have to connect if I want to move my leg if it's a healthy person the leg naturally responds because it's one entity it's not like you have to force your feet or your hands like now I'm telling my hand maybe you should lift yourself up because you're giving a class so it's maybe better if your hand goes up and the hand says I'm not sure I would like to stay rested who are you to tell me what to do you're not my boss you're not my master well you I'll teach you I'm actually physically stronger than you the brain is just a little Jello-O of 2 lbs the fist is a little stronger so when that happens and the hand is not responding you have to go to the emergency room immediately because a healthy person is a singular organism so it's not like there's a competition between the head and the other Limbs and now they get into a fight but the head says I'm going to persuade you I'm not going to argue with you and if that's happening it means that there's something missing in the connection we and that's why we it's a sign of a of an illness because in a healthy body it's a cohesive entity that is singular it's a central nervous system that is connected to every single last cell and every single last item of the body so essentially on that in that level of a person there's a complete Oneness so it's not like Hashem is one thing and I'm another thing and then I say you know what I'm going to listen to you cuz it pays for me I'm you're going to reward me it's a much deeper connection it's even Beyond I don't need even a rational explanation this is who the person is the person is in their deepest space is the kale which is the first one of the this is the this is what in the deepest Consciousness this is what the person wants the person wants because the person wants to be completely completely one with the source because they are the source they are an extension of the source they're not separate like imagine uh a child a feet is still in the womb of its mother so it's not like the fetus in the womb of its mother decides it's going to listen to its mother momy says eat come eat once they're 4 years old you have to force them to eat supper cuz they don't want to eat the vegetables they want to start with the ice cream just like they saw their mommy do a little earlier so they're actually good children they follow the example I don't mean the mommies here I mean other mommies or tties whoever but in the womb of the mother it's not like there's no separation they use the same oxygen and they have the same nutrients it's completely one there's no there's no there's it's not like there's no Rebellion it's no Separation on there born they become separate so on that level means that in the deepest in the deepest place of the Soul there's no other desire not because you're so holy because you are H because you are one so it's not like I'm I'm a saint because the eye is one with the source so therefore that is your that's says in pis nullify your will before his will so literally it means nullify your will like Surrender Your Will for hashem's will the says there's something much deeper here it says what's the word literally means from before p is the face so he says this is what it really means it's not even a commandment it's an opportunity it's a gift in order for a person to be able to experience what's the pus of his his true intimate desire in you I need to be able to let go of all the other desires that distract me from having the true experience of which means in the deepest deepest place of a person we have one desire the desire that a person has isus complete Oneness with truth complete Oneness with the essence of life as he calls it here to be completely aligned and the reason is because at the core the soul is divine it's literally Divine Consciousness it's an infinite expression of divine Consciousness so it is who it is it cannot be who it is not that's what it is what often happens though is what always happens not often what happens each person in a different way is this Divine Soul becomes manifested in a body and it becomes manifested in an animal Consciousness which which is trying to survive and in its need for survival and it's thought that it's separate it develops all types of different Desires in order to be able to feel that it's safe and it's comfortable and as a result of that a person can get very very distracted and not know and not feel the truth of what their true desire is so in order for you to be able to experience p in order for you to be able to experience his truest and deepest desire which is your truest and deepest desire and his truest and deepest desire in you and in that relationship so when I let go and I don't allow myself to get distracted and overwhelmed by other by other desires then I'm more open to be able to experience my true desire so going out to the field the king coming out of the field means an invitation to be able to connect on this level however and here's how big however we all know that in life there's so many different distractions and there's so many different experiences that we have and as a result of that one often can hear these words and not even relate to it like what are you talking about I mean it's nice in theory it's sweet maybe it's true for certain sadim or saintly people but in life we have so so many different needs and so many different desires and so many different cravings and so many different things that aggravate us and so forth so here he goes to the next step which is the second chapter and discusses how does a person begin to find these things to find this part so this is in many ways very practical tools here about this relationship says the advice to be able to go into this place this the paragraph the says in speaks about the Jewish people being in Exile and he says be from there from there wherever you are you're going to search for God for what does this mean spiritually it says in the first thing hasem created the first day was light and he saw the light was good so say what does it mean it's good to hide it says hasem saw the light and he saw it's good and what happens next he separates between the light and the Darkness but then on Wednesday he creates the sun and the moon so what's this light of the first day that he created the light that we enjoy is the light of the Sun that was only on Wednesday so kazal say he saw the light was good it's good to hide so understand you create light and then you see I see it's good to put put away so don't create it so you won't have to hide it what is the meaning of this that the first day hasem created that that was the first creation and we say that this light you could see from one end of the world to the other end of the world but this light is completely hidden away it's called The Hidden light and on Wednesday he creates the Sun and the Moon and the galaxies and the planets and the stars and we have our source of Light which is some our greatest source of light and energy and heat which is the Sun what happened with this first light Lio it was hidden it was so good he hides it thank you so you created it for whom so you could put it away and tell us that it's hidden somewhere the balat says something amazing this light is hidden where this light is hidden inside of you that's the light this light this is the light that reflects his internal intimate desire the word P like we said before p is face but P also comes word pimus the inside like Pim Pim is the everything has the Pim is the internal aspect of it the most internal deepest part of it is called the pus we all have our right that's my external display and then you have your pus is your innermost self so he says in every single soul in every single Jew you have this what is this the is this light of the deepest will and desire and pleasure of Hashem but it was hidden naturally it can remain very very concealed and hidden to the point that the person doesn't even know that they have it sometimes I could live my entire life and not know about the depth that exists inside of me that's why one needs to expose reveal the treasure the of say there an an literally means a treasure in when it says the word it's a storage place that's hidden it's like put away and you sometimes have to excavate and reveal what may be hidden under layers and layers and layers of debris or Rubble or Garbage or just put away somewhere or not exposed maybe buried in the ground so and every single soul this light is hidden in the soul and this light gives you access to everything what does it mean it gives you access to everything says you could see from one end of the world to other other end what does it mean you could see the from one end of the world to the to the other end of the world it means that on this level the person has the deepest Divine Clarity and conviction and awareness but it could be completely covered up and that's why when a person has access to this earth what does it mean that in this space they're not ever separate from the source of Life they're completely one and therefore they're also Invincible you're invincible and you're also filled with love and filled with confidence because it's a reflection of the Divine Itself by it says we say in we say it in the morning and daving in his space there's confidence and there's joy so in this space there's always confidence and there's joy cuz the lack of confidence or the lack of joy is always coming because I don't know who I am I don't know about this part in this part there's always a very very deep confidence and you can't obliterate the confence nobody can obliterate just like nobody can obliterate God they can try a lot of people try to obliterate God Tito stabbed the and he saw blood and he decided that he killed the it's just just doesn't work that way right Hitler wrote in M come he says we have to get rid of the Jews we have to get rid of we have to get rid of uh um God and his life denying Ten Commandments his life denying Ten Commandments if we get rid of the life denying Ten Commandments the same is true with every person this space can't be obliterated it's hidden it's hidden and it could be hidden there for years and years and years a person themselves doesn't know about it and sometimes I may live my entire life spiritually crippled or emotionally crippled because I don't know about this part in which there's absolute love and infinite Bliss and Delight because this is the pus har the deepest deepest desire of Hashem in the person hashem's love to you like like you said before a parent to a child a mother to a child and therefore there's reciprocal love both ways like the child still in the womb and over there there's absolutely no separation and over there the person knows exactly who they are and the person's deepest deepest desire is to remain one with that because there's nothing greater there's nothing deeper there's nothing more authentic than that but I may not know of it that's what he says it could be hidden and when I don't know of it now I'm looking for safety and comfort so I start looking for ways that can provide me with safety and comfort that's what he says and sometimes this can be an a it could be lost just like you have a diamond ring or you have something very precious and it gets lost and it may be lost for years and you're searching and searching and it's lost it's a here it's not a physical piece of jewelry that you could physically lose for it to never be returned here is internal but it's lost in the sense I have no access to it I don't know where it is I may have never known that I had it and sometimes it's even it's in a state of Exile when something is lost nobody else has it it's lost you know it's lost in the forest it got lost somewhere in the park it got lost somewhere in the house but nobody else took it Galos already is a deeper State it's an exile means it's an exile by someone else in other words it gets hijacked it gets hijacked and used sometimes in very very unproductive ways and they're using that energy it can be completely in Gus but it's somewhere in gas it's an exile and therefore it can't Flex its muscles I can't know who it is this is what says Search the word bash means two things B is to request but really the word comes the word to search means to look to search for something you don't search only for something that's lost I'm not searching now where my jacket is I'm not searching with this tissue boxes why where my phone is cuz it's here when you say be them it means cuz it's lost go search for what's been lost so obviously this has been lost so go search something that was lost and it's in a state of Exile what is this it's the it's this Divine consciousness of a person that is the soul is it's really all Godly but I don't somewhere but I don't know where it is I may not even know that it's somewhere I may believe it I hope I believe it but it's certainly not visceral to find it means that it becomes visceral it's part of me it's it's it's my it's part of my part of my existence there's an oldum story you know theum story there was a Jew he would wake up very early to go to work but till he found all of his stuff he was like a you know it was hard for him to find his stuff so it always took him an hour to get out of the house one day he can't find his shoes and he can't find his hat and he can't find his jacket and he can't find his keys so he came to the of and he says what should I do so he says before you go to sleep make a list where everything is the night before and then you'll just follow the list so he makes a list my keys are here my pants are here my shoes are here my hat is here my jacket is here my shirt is gal he goes to sleep but he adds one more thing and I I am in bed he wakes up early in the morning he's all excited he takes out the list and guess what within a half a minute he has all of the nine items and then he comes to the 10th and most precious item I I am in bed and he goes to the bed and he's searching but he's not there so he looks under the mattress and on top of the mattress and under the pillow and above the pillow and under the bed and behind the bed and he can't find and two hours he's searching and he still can't find himself and he runs to the of and he says L what did you do to me today it took even longer to find all my stuff he says what's the issue he says number 10 myself I said I'm in bed and I'm not in bed whatever the r answered him he answered him but whenever I'm looking for something it's always because I have no access to it I'm searching for it because it's not here soash is that it's not here and therefore I'm searching for it and because I'm not because it's not here at least in my conscious self it's aade it's in gas so therefore that self becomes replaced with another type of self and here we have one of the deepest uh meditations on the nature of how our different parts develop in our attempt to survive to give an illustration of this I heard this a number of years ago a woman she's a therapist I think she lives in Washington her name is het schlyer she was giving I think a tet talk so she said that her father used to tell a story in Yiddish it was like a old Yiddish joke I think it was her father who it sounds like a joke or a story but it's really very very deep the story is that there was once a Jew who wanted to look very good you know we're talking about getting dressed to come into the palace not to go to the field so he goes to the tailor he a very very prominent taor and he gives him the most expensive silk Fabric and he asks him to weave for him or crochet or make for him a beautiful suit and he does comes back six weeks later to try on the suit and this fellow puts on the jacket and he sees that the left sleeve is too short so he says this really doesn't look good I mean look at the sleeve it doesn't come down to the end he says it's true with this fabric it couldn't go till the end but in order to look good you're going to have to bend in your hand and when you bend in your hand it'll become shorter it's going to go to the end which anyway it's good for exercise that your hand is bent in it's a very good stretch so he says one second but I'm looking at my right shoulder and the suit jacket elevated it looks really really not good there's like so much space he says that's true for to fit into the suit you're going to have to lift up your right shoulder so it fits in which is anyway good for the body to stretch and you'll walk around like this so then he takes a look at his right leg and he says it's Much Too Short it doesn't come down come on he says that's true but you know what it's very good to learn how to hop and generally learn how to balance so therefore you walk around with your right leg uplifted and then the suit fits beautifully he says well one Le I'm looking at my waist the left waist it's also not good there's so much space it's like bold and it's protruded it's not he says that's true but it's very good in yoga you got to stretch the waist so therefore you'll stretch it to the left you'll go outwards and the suit will fit he so loved the suit and he was so eager to wear it so that's what he did so he walks out from the Taylor's office and you know what he looks like right one hand is up like this the shoulder is up like this his waist is out like this his leg is up like this he W I'm sorry for those who are not watching the video who are just listening but it's pretty funny what I'm doing I'm doing yoga stretches so he comes out to the street and he's wearing this beautiful suit and you know what he looks like already right and two Jews are walking down the street and they see this fellow walking out of the Tailor's home the Taylor's office so yankle turns to his friend zelik and he says you know that Taylor is a genius that Taylor is a skilled man he is a true artist there's nobody like him in the world he says what are you talking about he says look what he did he took a and he made such a beautiful suit that works for his body to give him dignity and respect he doesn't have to walk around like a schleppy can walk around like an aristocrat as a credit is do where credit is Du I like this [Music] Taylor and that's the end of the story and if we think about it in a in a sad way but also in a funny way this is a story of life and it's not the story of you know some unique people this is really the story of life there's a suit that is the perfect model and now I sometimes literally need to mutilate my soul it reshape it and take it away from its natural design and shape to fit the suit and this is what we mean when we talk about the animal Consciousness also living in a person and it's not a mistake cuz Hashem made us with this this this whole idea is not a mistake this is this is the story of life this is our mission in life to work with all these parts but basically as he said before at the core of the Soul you're completely one with Hashem and therefore you're infinite and therefore you have a light as he says a light that extends to the whole world it's a light it's a clear vision and there's always an inner connection and an inner relation but nothing can obliterate it and over there my deepest desire is just alignment to remain inas to remain in alignment and that's the most precious thing in the world there's nothing more precious because nothing comes close to that what's going to come close to alignment with Infinity with the source of everything with the source of existence but we also have an animal Consciousness what's the animal conscious the animal Consciousness is Hashem gave us a body which is a gift a Divine gift and the Soul comes into the body and for the body to live we have what's called a that gives life to the body and it lives in the blood and it's responsible for one thing it's responsible to keep us safe and to keep us comfortable it's responsible for our digestive system and for our circulatory system and for our respiratory system and for all of the other systems and biology it's responsible for that and that's it that's its holy function it monitors our our it's our thermometer you know are you too hot are you too cold am I hungry am I tired am I thirsty whatever it does it also wants to keep us safe and therefore when there's danger it alerts us to danger and that's the blessing like a fire alarm that goes off or a smoke detector when there's smoked as a fire it goes off we call it that migdala in the brain which detects danger and alerts us to it but in the natural design of things the body is a vehicle for the animal soul and the animal soul is a vehicle for the Divine soul I can't give Sedaka with without my animal soul with my hands and I can't make a br and I can't learn and I can't connect with somebody and I can't love without my body so the body is a vehicle for the animal Soul the animal soul is a vehicle for the Divine Soul what happens in that story though is there's a suit that I need to fit into and that suit becomes the model of what it means to live and to be dressed nicely but my body wasn't made to be that way no problem I become something other than who I really am in order to be able to wear this suit and this is what happens to so many animal Souls we develop or I may develop so many different characteristics so many different traits that bend me out of my natural shape in order to fit the suit so that everybody should look and say ah rabi why why looks very good today I hope this food suit fits me does [Laughter] it what does this mean psychologically with a suit it's a funny story when it comes to a person's inner soul it becomes a little more complicated let's say as a young person I didn't feel I could trust for whatever reason I did not feel I could trust I always had to be alert of betrayal I can't trust so I grow up learning that I can't trust but the soul wants to trust the soul is trust the soul is divine trusts but I learned that I can't trust so now I don't know who to trust and who not to trust now my natural design may be I can't trust anybody I don't know how to be in a connection I don't know how to be in a relationship I don't know how to be honest I don't know how to be authentic maybe I learned that I can't emote it was too painful so I learned that in order to survive I disassociate for my emotions maybe I learned that I have to fight for everything because if not I'm not going to get it and therefore without aggression I can't function I can't live maybe I learned that I have to please everybody cuz if I don't please everybody they're not going to like me and I'm unloved and therefore my job is to please everybody and make sure everybody likes me so I can walk around my whole life emotionally crippled completely not knowing who I am respecting who I am loving who I am feeling my energy just to fit into a suit that in my mind this is the suit which is going to make me look good and people will like me and approve of me and say he's a good guy or she's a good person and safe and in my own mind this is safety and sometimes I could be 50 years old 60 years old 30 years old 40 years old whatever the ages and I'm still in that same patterns of behavior those same emotions and when I look a little deeper what it's really it's really I'm just desperately trying to fit in to the only suit I know is going to give me credibility in this world because without that if I get rid of this suit and I say you could take this suit and throw it into the Hudson River I'll rather wear but it's going to be suitable for me suitable pun intended that takes a lot a lot of Courage and the whole world is going to say oh look at this ugly ugly person get back into the cave where you belong and if I've been doing it since a young a very young child I don't even know what another suit looks like and this is what he means the light is there the infinite light is there and that light is your light it's it's God's deepest intimate love but it may be a it may be lost I don't know what I don't know it so now I need an identity so the world gives me an identity okay the world says you'll be respected if you'll be I don't know a world-renowned speaker sounds familiar or you'll be respected if you'll just I don't know do this have such a house I'm not going to get into everybody's story here but you'll figure it out right and I don't even realize this it's not like I'm doing it consciously no this is my suit I have to walk around like this so walk around like this and what happens to the real me the real me is somewhere hiding somewhere but the main thing is I fit into the soup to the soup to the suit I meant and the soup comes out good and sometimes if I have no consciousness of it I may not even realize it in otherwi it becomes so organic like so second it's not really organic but it's like second nature to me I may not even know it but what I do know is that there is an anxiety there's pain because whenever the soul the real soul is lost there's a displacement there's an anxi just like this person if he's walking around like this a whole day the body is going to say there's something off my friend you mean well I know this suit is beautiful but there something off the anxiety is not our enemy the anxiety is an alarm clock the anxiety is saying something is off there there's a dissonance here you're trying so so hard you all you wanted to do was to be a good person to be a good girl to be a good boy to be loved to be accepted but nobody ever allowed you to understand how deeply God loves you how deeply you can love yourself how much it how you could fill yourself up in the deepest way and you could show up to your life joyfully with your full presence not amputating or crippling or caving in or compromising or even diluting any part of your true true life so tells the Jewish people it's there but it's an a it's lost go search and continues this is the second paragraph three lines from the [Music] bottom he says search from there what's from there you can't search for something that's lost only in the place that it was lost we want to go other places you have to go where it was lost for me to find my true love and a of God which is my deepest deepest self always I need to look where was lost don't search where it wasn't lost search where was lost for this I have to tell you another story there was a guy from he was standing under a lantern one night and he's looking for something so his friend says yankle what are you searching for he says on the way back from sh I don't know I guess I dropped my house keys and I can't get into the house I'm searching he says where did you drop the keys he says somewhere near the SCH he says that's five blocks from here why you searching here he says cuz over there it's dark here there's light but I have to search in the darkness I can't search in the light where it's light the key wasn't lost that's you have to search now here again with the key and the Lantern and it's funny when it comes to life it's not so funny I have to go to the place where it was lost my soul was lost somewhere it was lost I have to go back to that place going back to that place is not a punishment it's because that's where it is it's not oh I want to punish you go where it's dark I don't want to punish you I want you to have your keys I want you to have your soul if I'm looking for it where it was not lost I'm not going to be able to find it cuz that's not where it was lost so you have to go to the now I don't want to go there there's a reason I developed this posture there's a reason I don't want to go back there I was told or or informed on one level or another that this is the only posture that's going to be acceptable in this world because this is the only suit that's available you want me to go back to that original wound I'm going to have to expose things that I covered up there's a reason why my body developed this shape in order to survive by the way this whole story with the body I just realized it's not just a muscle it's so true because you know people develop conditions in their body sometimes over a lifetime sometimes serious sometimes not so serious but things like back pain anybody relates to that I do shoulder pain stomach pain sometimes our necks our shoulders are elevated our necks don't show or different parts of of the higher part of the body the lower part of the body things that other people see the sometimes it's chronic sometimes it's very very intense and it's not intense it flear up every few months so we go to this doctor we go to that doctor sometimes they'll do surgeries half the time they help half of the time it comes right back very often it's emotional anxiety that stored in the body the body keeps the score and even in the cells of the body there's what they call Cellular trauma it's crazy stuff but the body never lies the Goof never lies the balat once said it says in from my flesh I will perceive Hashem and he said said the flesh will always teach you Hashem he said but in the bus so you sometimes have to uh smooth it away you have to go out of the external part of the body and go deeper and you'll always see the truth over there the body doesn't lie the body speaks the truth now sometimes my body may be conditioned to tell me things that are dysfunctional for example eat the cake eat the cake eat the cake eat the cake but still the body is saying something truthful the body is saying you're stressed out and you have learned that the cake will soothe you for 20 minutes till you get into a depression so eat the cake the body is not giving an opinion but the body is saying something you want the cake there's a reason for it you're stressed you're trying to escape something you have too much work you're not ready to deal with it this cheesecake will be the Messiah for 25 minutes after the Messiah leaves you'll find a new Messiah maybe another piece of cake maybe a different type usually the phone could be a messiah for another 35 minutes actually the phone could do it for a few hours some people for a few years but it's always looking for but the body is saying something the body doesn't lie the more my body is tuned in with My Soul the more I'll be able to hear right away in my body the truth so the different pains that our part body develops sometimes you have to push get checked out physically but so often there's a dissonance and the body is saying there's something off there's something off you have positioned your by I know somebody who went through crazy stuff as a child they didn't know about it and the body literally developed certain physical postures and movements where it became very very tight and this was a way of the body bracing itself for things that happen in order for this boy to survive it's crazy now this person is already an older person tremendous tremendous a beautiful beautiful person didn't know about it found out much later in life and then suddenly realized that this person is he's he's disassociated from his body it's almost like his soul left his body and his body remained like a shell and there was a reason for it because if you're punching me and my soul is present it's painful if I allow my body just to become a shell you could do whatever you want so imagine what this kid did in order to survive so now he has to learn to trust his body but he has to go back to the pain the for the body to release those painful things the body did it for a reason the body did it to protect you I'm not you want me to go there but that's where I have to search and that's where I have to the support of my true soul of my of my of my Divine Soul both souls are true but of my Divine soul in order to say you got this you're stronger than your pain you're infinite you're Divine but it's a very serious process I have to search where it was lost and every person needs to find those places where it was lost and as he explains here lost also means where it gets lost you know sometimes I I have a person has to examine how many what types of conversations do I have during the day how many of these conversations are aligned with my are aligned with how many are not those are places where it gets lost I have to examine my eating habits my conversations my relationships my thoughts my words my behaviors CU in all these places my soul can get lost I can't live anymore by just wrote and do things in order to distract me because why not it's living from a place of an inner Compass an inner connection of tuning in to my Divinity and saying my ti in sh what do you need now where are you what are we really looking for we don't want distractions and we don't need to ourselves to fit anybody's suit the suit will match me I'm not going to match my suit that's the way it's supposed to work you know sometimes you go to a you try to make a wedding gown or something and they're insistent that this is how it has to be right it's a no let the suit match me let the Gown Match you I don't have to match the Garment I mean unless I maybe I have to lose 20 pounds but that's a whole separate issue so the point here is the animal soul and the body need to reflect the soul the not the other way around so go search over there and then he continues the next paragraph the fourth paragraph there's another idea in the word sh he says the only thing you could say z z is this when you could point in something because it's right here you could say Z by the splitting of the sea the Jewish people said this is my God the place of kipa which is blockages is always called sh it's there when you say Z it's here Z I can't say Z on something that Not Invisible that's not in front of me Z is only you could say who this is it Z sham means there Dart he says hasem or anything associated with Hashem you can always say Z whenever there's a ciper whenever there's a blockage it's never Z it never wants to be fully exposed it always hides behind something it's sham so say you have to search in a place of what this literally means is whenever something is aligned with truth it's never ever afraid to be fully present whenever something lives only through blockages and coverups it never really will expose itself why because when it exposes itself right the emperor has no clothes you remember that story The Emperor has no clothes when it exposes itself the bubble may be deflated and its grander will be removed when we know that whatever weever we're going to search we're ultimately going to find Our Truth we're not afraid of searching we're not afraid of exposure the reason I'm so afraid of looking at things of talking about things is because I want to keep it shum because I don't really believe that there's and what this means in life is and this is really a I me it's a very emotional and deep meditation and that is when I think about why am I scared to face certain things in my life why am I scared to talk about certain things in my life there's sometimes a terror that grips us we will do everything to avoid everything to to manipulate sometimes everything to exploit everything not to face the demon that I need to face in myself what is it it's the deep deep fear that this Darkness I won't be able to deal with he says but when you real realize when you realize that everything is associated with the Divine then you don't have to run away you don't have to go sham kipa is always somewhere else it's somewhere else it's never fully fully present because when something is completely reduced to its Ruess to its truth you're going to see this truth there's only one truth in the world and that's truth that was good there's only one truth in the world and that's truth a lie will never be the truth it will never be the truth it could try it could dress up it could fake it could camouflage it's never going to be the truth there's only going to be one truth in the world and that's the truth you see how much I like it I'm repeating it Ms Right Ms it says in gar Ms is Al me the first letter the middle letter and the last letter it's amazing a li is three letters right near each other because Ms you can go to the beginning you can go to the middle you can go to the end it's going to be the truth you can go to the beginning of History the middle of History the end of History the middle of the day the beginning of the day the middle of our life the beginning of a life it's always going to be true you can open you can expose you can dig dig dig dig dig dig it's not going to lie it's going to be truth Z always going to be I'm always going to be here always that keeps together you know the three letters are together from this perspective if you go a little broader if you go expansive you look at the beginning the middle the end you won't find it anymore she is always one perspective three letters right near each other from one perspective one angle it's going to look good but if you have a broader picture if you go deeper if you're expansive it's going to melt away it's going to fade into Oblivion so in a person's life he says go to the place of sham go to the places that I did there there there I'm not looking there I'm not go there it's a hiding place that's where I have to search that's called the place of kipa that's the place of blockages but that's where my soul is hidden that's where it got lost that's where the kipa is hiding it into sham so that's why says Be and here comes another step in this process another incredible step so if I'm looking at my thoughts my words my actions and I see that they're being derailed they're derailing me from my soul practically speaking it may be that I examine certain friendships I have or conversations I have during the day or my eating habits or my sleeping habits or my living habits or my work habits and I see that they're they're my soul is being crippled in this process I'm not tuning into who I am I'm just reacting I'm just surviving I'm not th thriving I'm just surviving I'm running from one thing to another thing to another thing but essentially I'm looking away from what I have to look at this this this story is only going to work in yish in yish is an expression you know what that means uh I make believe I don't know so in Yiddish when you want to ask somebody how are you you say it doesn't work in English in English it means what do you making you don't say hey what are you making it's like right so they once asked I knew so he said what are you doing he said I'm making believe I don't know used to say it's for the I know but I make believe I don't know sometimes my whole life I have to make believe I don't know but of course I know the body knows and the Soul knows but I make believe I don't know why do I make believe I don't know cuz I don't want to face it so I make believe I don't know and I we get it and that's the challenge but that's the gift that's what it means the king comes to the field don't dress up on me don't put on your nice suit don't put on your nice suit get rid of your nice suit I want to see what's inside I don't need your nice suits there it's not a you're not coming to my Palace we'll work on that one day when the suit will match the soul in the meantime get throw away the so so suit I want to see you come out to the field in other words in your full rawness and vulnerability so when a person can search through their words and deeds and behaviors they could find those things where my soul is being derailed every day and he says this is 1 2 3 4 fifth paragraph second line this creates grief is grief grief creates compassion compassion for the Divine spark and Exile the Novi says in yes we say it in the ha of the fast days that y r literally it means he will return to God and God will have compassion for him but the balatan translates it differently and very Dearing in Hebrew we know that when it says he or she it's referring to the last subject to the one you spoke about before so he will return to asem and have compassion for him who's the him it's for Hashem it's having compassion for the Divinity inside of you wow can you have on on the what did my soul have to go through what did it go through in order for it to be able to become emotionally so deformed what pain is it carrying can you have compassion that's the grief work that always comes with healing the says liberates one second yov was the grandson of was the grandpa liberates grandson grandson doesn't liberate grandpa says something incredible the attribute of yov is compassion the attribute of RA is love everybody has infinite love but the love is trapped sometimes what liberates empathy and compassion opens up the gates that are blocking the love you see this Soul that's inside every person is full of love by Nature it's full of love it loves and the reason it loves is because it's rooted in the source of all love so it's full of love it's full of expansiveness just like it's full of clarity and confidence and joy it's also full of love it loves to love because that's who it is but then it can get lost and now my Yearning For Love becomes substituted with a lot of other habits maybe I didn't get the love I was looking for and I needed so instead I look for love in strange ways maybe I look for attention maybe I look for validation maybe I look for approval wherever I go and that approval could come in very smart ways because remember it's my system and my coping mechanism developing all these types of things to be able to get a compliment and say yeah you're [Music] good I know in my own life I'm always evolving at least I'm always trying to evolve you'll ask my wife if I'm actually evolving but I'm at least trying to evolve remember there was a time in my life I would finish a speech and I would want I was searching for a comp for compliments and then and I I realized but it's coming with so much anxiety and the compliment is not doing what I wanted to do and then I knew it has nothing to do with the compliment the compliment is just a way of finding some form of soless and comfort that I don't have inside and that's why one compliment won't do it because that compliment will not fill that inner void so a second one a third one it's like the the cake I was talking about these are all external ways of thinking we're going to get what we really need and we find very clever ways of doing it and then we're just running that marathon every person in their own way but the real the real need is trapped and to go back to the real need is going to be painful because there's a loss over there that's the Sham so every person in that life their their their life has this and he says the way to liberate it is not by shaming yourself it's by can I have compassion on how much my soul needed to literally emotionally I don't mean physically how much the soul needed to so be not who it is in order to be able to think that that's how it needs to survive how painful that is don't guilt yourself and shame yourself and tell you what how bad you are you know like people who have social anxiety and then they shame themselves why why am I such a nerd why do I have social anxiety why can't I be like this woman who walks in and has confidence all you know that she has even more anxiety than you she just knows how to cover it up better and we're always comparing ourselves nobody ever changed from self- shaming all what all the all that you accomplish is your anxiety gets much stronger because it realizes that the enemy is within and it has to become even more anxious in order to protect you remember all these are protective mechanisms that animal Soul developed in order to protect itself if you're going to shame it that is the original reason it created this blockage you understood what I just said the only way you can open it up is compassion you know one of the hardest substances on planet Earth it's interesting is the pit in a peach did you ever try breaking the pit in a peach you'll never be able to you could take a hammer from H bis margan it's go it's unbelievable you know why it has the seeds so it's holding on to the treasure it's holding on to its children there's only one thing that can split open the pit the the pit of of a peach and that is you put it in Earth and Earth has nutrients and after a little while it just opens up nicely and the pit falls out the seed I'm sorry the seed falls out and it's in the earth and a new tree grows you then it holds on to it it holds on to it and you could shame it and crack it no no no no no no I'm protecting something very deep maybe from 1 years old four years old 10 years old whatever it is I'm not letting go of this you're crazy put it in the the earth the earth is Mother Earth you know the Earth with its compassion and its grip it'll open up it'll open up differently right there's an old mush they used to give very very powerful mush the sun and the wind had a fight they had a m who's more powerful the wind says come on I got the mightiness I got it I got the strin the sun said no it's me said you know what let's test there's a guy it's a January winter New York night you know those freezing Nights With the Wind it's you know 20 below zero you know those nights you're supposed to stay home by the fireplace and watch the snow from the window and write a poem as your journaling and and eat popcorn I mean kale kale not popcorn so the wind sees K yankle walking down the street and the wind says I will prove power know he's wearing his coat so the sun says come on let's see if you can get off his coat so the wind starts blowing blowing off the coat and of course the more the wind is blowing the more he's like holding on so the storm comes a hurricane comes this poor guy thinks he's going to fall and the coat is flying and he's holding on to it with all of his might stronger and stronger and the more the wind is ferociously expressing its might the more he's holding on tight to it with his life and then the sun turns to the wind and says let me do my work and the Sun comes out and its Rays begin to warm the atmosphere and it becomes warmer and warmer and slowly he just takes off his coat and he smiles ah what a beautiful day it's basically two approaches to life you know one is the approaches I will shame you I will guilt you with my might I will force you to take off that coat to take off all your bad mid to get rid of all your cers to get rid of all your blockages I will force you by telling you how bad you are but very often you just put them on tighter you just figure out a way of how to do it tighter is different can you really have compassion for your soul can you see the beauty the Bliss that's inside that has been hidden can I see the inner child that literally went into hiding because of all the circumstances of life and even if I made mistakes willingly because I didn't know all of this or even if I knew some of it but I was trapped in my wounds can I have compassion for that too people think that compassion is condoning bad behavior it's not compassion is looking at reality without the need to judge and shame it's not condoning it's not complimenting it's not minimizing on the contrary it's looking at everything the way it is and then like I don't need this anymore like why should I walk around my whole life like this I really don't need to first of all I don't need to God doesn't want me and it's actually depriving the whole world from who I am depriving me from my light so yak liberates of this compassion opens it up and then he continues the next paragraph This is the third paragraph from the bottom and says I'm going to say it outside sometimes a person doesn't even feel this type of compassion sometimes I can't to feel grief you already have to be much more open let's face it one of the greatest coping mechanisms is I I don't want to feel grief I don't want to feel pain cuz it's painful to feel pain it's not dangerous but it's painful I don't want to feel it I don't want to go there it's working okay I have back pain okay I'll go to a chiropractor I have neck pain okay I'll take Advil like I did yesterday okay I have stomach pain fine I'll find a new diet I don't want to go there I just don't want to go there you know I'm valedictorian bakov 1973 three I'm not changing that posture so sometimes for a person to be able to develop this type of compassion I really have to be able to be aware of everything and to be able to look at it so he says sometimes a person doesn't feel it and what that means is don't think it doesn't it doesn't doesn't mean the pain is not there and the soul is not there it just means that my coping mechanism have become such that Detachment is now my new coping mechanism but but it's another copy mechanism Detachment is a very good copy mechanism I'm a soldier I don't feel I'm happy I'm always happy was doesn't mean I'm always happy I'm always smiling inside I know that I may be miserable but part of my coping mechanism is I stopped feeling and when I stopped feeling I did it for a reason because I want to do the right thing and if I start feeling who knows what's going to happen the problem is I'm not showing up to life with my heart and let's face it we know how it affects ourselves and especially our loved ones but also ourselves it begins with ourselves because what can I really give my children tell them what to do that's a very very small part of it and at some point I have to stop telling them what to do what I can really give my children more than anything else is true emotional presence I can give my heart I can give my heart for them to to give them my heart it's only if my heart if I give myself my heart if my heart is open if I'm showing up to life with unburdened joy with real Bliss that is a gift that's Irreplaceable and that's not something that I can measure with a thermometer that's very very internal is very very deep what can I give anybody I can give my heart we sometimes it's hard I know with myself it's hard to go there so sometimes I said instead I'll give my children money I'll give my children a gift I'll buy a new game we'll go on a vacation we'll go on a trip all good things go on vacation and go on a trip and buy a new game and give them money but it's not what they need it's not what they're really looking for it's another substitute it's another distraction yeah obviously trips are good but only if they're an extension of the heart then it's powerful then it's real the heart is something I can really give because it's me it's my pus and it's something that they're yearning for they're desperate because that's what creates connection that's what creates their confidence but I can only do that if I have it I can't fake a heart I could try to I can't fake art especially to your kids because they feel everything so when I say I don't feel it's not because the soul is not alive it's because the coping mechanism became I don't feel I'm detached the balat says that's why in daving we say he says sometimes we ourselves don't have the compassion I can't feel it cuz I'm not in touch with My Soul but you know how great my soul is allow me to feel your compassion for my soul you do know who I am you do know what my soul is maybe I'm now unfortunately not consciously in touch with it now he says physically when the nail gets cut off from the finger there's no pain in the nail anymore even if it stumbles against something but by a person it's never like that cuz you're never really really detached you're always always connected so that itself allows me to have compassion the fact that I'm in such an exile that I don't even have compassion how much compassion do you have to have for the fact that you don't have compassion for that itself you have to have compassion and then he says and what if a person doesn't even have that I can't even get to that his second to the last paragraph is here it means the body is blocked very interesting the physical body is blocked a person needs to work with their body because the body is not letting them feel anything they have to literally work with their body to open up the channels to be able to F the soul yeah Mish unbelievable 17 this is a discourse from 1797 and now I want to finish with the last paragraph it says in the song of songs but then my disappeared so I went into the markets and I went into the streets and I searched for the one who my soul loves I searched and searched until I found him and I held on to him and I did not let go until I brought him to the house of my mother and to the house of the one who gave birth to me I brought him back to my mother's house I'm not letting you go this is a story in sh the balat now applies us to life we spoke about searching we spoke about you find your soul and now what happens I found them in the street streets but did I bring him to my mother's house he always has to meet my mother if not it's not good so he explains this spiritually I search for what my soul loves why do I have to search because he's absent or she's absent cuz I don't know where he is I don't know where she is I'm searching for that which my soul loves and it doesn't only mean for the person that my soul loves means for that for the love in my soul my soul is filled with love and that love I'm searching for because it's [Music] there where do you go to the market to the street CU that's where it was lost you don't search for it in the house it wasn't lost in the house it was lost out there like we said before but let's say you find it we have moments that you find it you need to make vessels for the light even if a light shows up but you don't have a container the light goes away and he says that's the secret sometimes we have moments people sometimes go on Journeys they go on spiritual Journeys emotional Journeys different healing Journeys and they find very deep things they do work on themselves and the Earth shows up it's like oh wow I'm not a I'm not emotionally sick I'm such a good person I have so much Divinity inside of me says you need to make Caleb you need to hold on to it she doesn't just say I found him in the streets I took him and I took him to my mother's house cuz your mother won't let him go so what's the is always to make vessels containers because that's what holds the light you have a flame but there's no Wick there's no oil it's not going to burn it needs a k it needs something to bring it down our soul Divinity needs a K in this world and that's what learning T is all about the letters of t are containers compares to a fire a consuming fire why a fire needs a wick in order to be able to endure a log a twig something if there's no K the fire is not going to be is there but what are the K to keep it so the first K he says is bring it to the base which says when a Jew continues to learn when we learn T is a container it's the letters it's the information it's the wisdom that keeps us in touch with that higher awareness with that higher Consciousness especially when we're learning T that deals with the soul the T that deals with the story of the the story of the heart it constantly expands my horizons and keeps me connected even if I have moments that I fall and I fail and I lose sight of who I am there's another K and that's of course means charity helping people is the k for love which is the inner is the outer vessel for love which is the soul of so the love of the soul will maintain but it needs Cale and the two vessels in y are and S holds it and S holds it this is why we say in we say every day at the end of daving before the end of with the light of your face you gave us a living T and the love of kindness so literally it means you gave us a gift he says it means something deeper there is the light of your face there is your light of pimus the pous light the innermost light that was created on the first day that is hidden and embedded in every person it's in my soul to hold on to that you gave us two vessels but to be able to hold on to this light you gave us these are the containers to be able to hold on to this so in summation in summ cuz is the time of the arousal from below and it's not a it's not like shabas even though you have the revelation of the because it's like the king coming out to the field so it's a revelation on your terms in a very mundane setting I want to see you I want to be close with you the way you are in your regular day-to-day life and that's why it's it's about you showing up with an with who I am to be able to welcome the king and find that spark inside of you which is pure Divinity but often it can get lost in the story of life so much says be them search because the that you could see from one end of the world to the other end of the world is there but it's embedded and I have to search for it and where mam where was lost where it was lost to have to search for it not anywhere else and Sham is the place of kipa because it's always hiding from reality don't be afraid to look at anything because if you know that it's aligned with God you're allowed to look at it you don't have to be afraid of it and that's the and when I search for it and I see my soul was lost now is the time for compassion which is the mid of yov which liberates the love if I can't and that's where there's compassion and grief that sets one free if I can't even have that it's not because it's not there it's because my coping mechanism is that I'm blocked from feeling even that and that's why we say that itself will trigger compassion for the fact that I don't have compassion and if I don't even have that it's the body that's blocking and I need to work with my body because literally things happen that literally trapped it in my body and the body is literally not letting me feel who I am and then finally even when I find my beloved one I grab him and I bring him to the home of my mother that he doesn't leave you always need I always need ways to integrate it in my daily life if not it remains Elusive and generally the two vessels is and have a beautiful day and a beautiful month and a good [Applause] [Music] G next week we're on 9:30 a.m. everybody have a beautiful and blessed week yes I'm sure okay thank you for coming only see miracles in and everywhere else really what's his name Ben and his mother Weber that's his mother he just went into Gaza should hear good news thank you for all your work yeah you going back to already we should all follow you very soon oh wonderful oh where you coming from thank you so much welcome back one second one one beautiful beautiful beautiful yeah Jackson Florida long beautiful okay welcome I I lost beautiful like this past week and it upsets me so much yeah and I don't know where like you look for where L I don't know where I lost it oh can you retrace it in any way then I'm trying like I'm looking it's hard she had it for many years also I got one of my daughters I'm sorry yeah it is I feel wants me to look at I should be okay but with compassion with compassion not with guilt with compassion not with guilt and you should find everything you have to find the external things and also the internal things sometimes the external things that are lost are symbols for more internal things you know what I mean sometimes I don't mean in your case I'm I'm saying just generally huh yeah you should find everything you need to find with thank you for coming this is a new a new yeah a new habitant in m just want to she's the hostess of the entire mon can I post with your permission for gy event tonight sure thank you with pleasure it'll be an honor I will tell her that tell her it's an honor I'm going to tell her it's going to make her date just amazing thank you everything I've learned cated here such thank you you an angel an angel everything should work out with search huh yeah yeah thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you for coming I have a multiac question yeah but it'll be brief yeah I mean um for almost 30 years let's say so educating my kids teaching them they all have their own path they're all their own mind but our home is blinded a certain way but they're shmer but I have a daughter in baso and trying to keep her you know with those you know with those M and and that Hasa and everything even though she's got brothers that are a little bit more you know they smartphone and everything but keeping her in line and she's doing well yesterday I I spoke with somebody who's a rabbitson of sorts and and that I look up to very much and it's not a judgment it's just trying to understand what I'm doing e I'm so proud but I'm like I also don't want to be like I also have and I also love music and I also and I'm also taming it but like I don't want to choke my kids at the same time I think you're I I I think you're right with your approach not to not to CH is but is it wrong if it's somebody that you look up to and you say am I doing something wrong why why do they feel that it's okay I think there's different approach is different people you know I don't think I don't know that these things are black and white you know is it sorry I know it's it's like a a call just like if my daughter finds out that this person went she's going to come after me and tell me see people go it's you it's your problem there are people that go and there are there are certainly a lot of hal people who go are there people who don't yeah you know I don't have to tell you that the Jewish world and the religious Jewish world is very diverse so now is it or is it I think your approach of Al is right because I don't think it's something that you could just say is absolutely forbidden and that's it you know it's not like eating pork are there people who are you know more uh you know they they try to avoid these things there are but there are plenty of good people who go and I think if it means if a child you know really is passionate about it and I would I would say sorry I'm not going to like on internet and say says you can go I'm just saying for me in a time where for