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Eitan Kalmowitz: Lubavitch Shidduchim
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Comedian Eitan Kalmowitz delivers a hilarious account of his difficulties finding a Shidduch and a brilliant idea he came up with.
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Auto-generated transcript. Not time-synced to the video.
My father is not Frum
and I sometimes have some difficulty
explaining to him how
the whole Shidduchim system works
because you know, my father's an attorney
and we're not crazy rich but he does well
and he says to me one time, "Eitan I don't understand."
"You have some money.
I would think that people would be jumping all over you!"
"Why has it been so hard for you?"
I said, Dad, listen
in this community
we value things more important than money
like where your great-grandfather is from
he said, "America is bad?"
I said, yeah. America is very bad
so of course I'm talking about Gezh
other communities might call it Yichus
for those not familiar, Gezh means
that your Zaide was a Lubavitcher
who sat in prison in Russia
that's another thing I had fun explaining to him
prison good, America bad
but I'm a proactive guy
so I actually sought to rectify this
many years back when I was in Yeshiva in Tzfas
I had a friend who was very very Gezh
both his grandfather and his great grandfather
both were in prison in Russia
I think that's actually where they made the Tenoim
I contracted with him - true story
I contracted with him to purchase 10% of his Gezh
for the sum of 1,000 American dollars
sounds like a good deal, right?
I thought so too
but later I found out that was only one side
on the other side,
he came from Rabbi Nachman Breslover
the first Satmar Rebbe
which cancelled out the whole thing
I went back to him, I said
take your tainted Gezh
and give me my thousand dollars back.
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