Dysfunctional Relationships, Childhood Abuse And Finding Clarity!

first tell me what you know and then tell me the doubt let's do step one and then step two you said I know and then I doubt myself so tell me what you know and then tell me how it's not true step one what do you know my question is twofold how would one know if it is indeed the marriage how does one determine if it's actually the marriage that is causing them to have a spiritual down Cline or if it is their own wrong interpretations and reactions to what is occurring within the marriage that their own MOS and reactions are causing their spiritual downin and before we even get to that is it even possible that a marriage can actually truly cause someone a spiritual declin usually typically the most important thing a marriage accomplishes is building a home for children that gives them a foundation to raise the Next Generation but there are many things that a marriage accomplishes but the point is there has to be something productive you don't get married okay it it pains me to even have to say this but the truth is we are constantly bombarded with brainwashing so I'm going to have to say these things we don't get married for companionship we don't get married married for love we don't get married for romance we don't get married for uh fulfillment we don't get married for I don't know whatever it is that you that that the people who are selling you shampoo are are trying to convince you that marriage is about you get married because it is one of the most important things that that an embodied Soul can do in order to accomplish its purpose here on Earth so the main question to ask is not am I enjoying this is it leading to fulfillment am I experiencing love and connection and intimacy now pause pause pause sometimes what a marriage can accomplish in some marriages not all and I wouldn't even say the majority but in some marriages the intimate connection that the husband and wife experience with each other is so spiritual that that is one of the things that the marriage is accomplishing for some marriages I don't think the majority of marriages but some marriages yes that the level of connection they have is truly so altruistic that it is a spiritual connection and it is therefore making the world a Holier place when that spiritual connection happens in the physical embodiment and particularly in the act of marital physical Union where it is so physicalized and you're taking something that's so spiritual and so lofty and making it so down to earth that's an incredible thing that some marriages accomplish but other marriages accomplish other things not every marriage has to accomplish all things that marriages accomplish not every marriage accomplishes the same things but every marriage has to accomplish something when a marriage ceases to accomplish anything that's when the marriage ceases to have value okay so it's not when you get tired of it you get sick of it when you don't like the the other person anymore that's silly it's when this is no longer allowing me or I I shouldn't say allowing me this is no longer helping me to accomplish my purpose here on Earth now I'm going to say something else and I don't know how people are going to take this but some people come to the world well everyone comes to the world for something called n means tests trials tribulations challenges overcoming obstacles hardships difficulties okay Every Soul comes for that kind of test or series of tests some Souls come to the world for a lot of tests intense tests some Souls come to the world and they really get a run for their money and that's what they come to the world for okay and because of that some Souls come to the world to have exceptionally challenging marital situations okay and I wouldn't tell anybody who's in that situation Oh What A pity you don't have a good marriage first of all it's not polite to say that but even if they wanted me to even if they give me permission to comment on their intimate life I wouldn't even not only I wouldn't say it I wouldn't think it I wouldn't think it because the truth is some people the way they are accomplishing something in this embodiment is that they are going through a challenging marriage and retaining their faith retaining their good cheerful disposition toward life retaining their their will to be productive and and that the challenge not only is not a deterrent to their being a productive person but actually in a in in the way that only challenges can do sort of the crushing of the olive that that that brings out the oil that the challenging marriage actually is eliciting deeper hidden latent potentials bringing out a person's hidden abilities so even as someone who would say my marriage is awful but I got to tell you from a spiritual perspective it's helping me to accomplish something in this world as as a soul and a body I'm learning faith I'm learning patience I'm learning compassion then I would say you're accomplishing you're accomplishing like I couldn't tell somebody you're not allowed to walk away but I I Would by the same token I wouldn't tell them that they have to leave because they're unhappy I would say well but you're accomplishing there's something happening here it's maybe it's not fun but it's productive okay so in contradistinction if someone so if somebody were to tell me follow me if someone if someone were to tell me I'm in a situation it's not personally fulfilling that's for sure not okay but not only that but it's not making me a better person it's not making me have more faith it's not forcing me to connect in a deeper way to Hashem um it's not making me more compassionate to others it's not Awakening In Me Greater empathy and an ability to relate to others who are also challenged it's not doing anything like that for me I'm just kind of sitting here being annoyed and hating my life I'd say ah well then you know that's that's an issue so but is is it that person's problem to to utilize the situation there in to learn to better themselves within the situation or to learn to say um well that's a second question okay now now you're asking a second question but let's just first make sure we have the first question straight the first question was well I don't know what nonproductive means because well I said it I said it already and now when when now that you tell me you don't know what it means I'm going to ask you to either say back to me what I said or I'm going to ask you to to give me your own definition one either one you can tell me back what I said nonproductive means or you can offer me your own definition what nonproductive means I don't know if there is nonproductive because if that's what occurred that's what Hashem wanted and the only reason why I say that is because I grew up in a nonproductive environment but clearly God wanted me to grow up in that environment hold the phone now we got to it okay tell me about the nonproductive environment you grew up in I think this is the key to it all my father was emotionally abusive to all of us physically abusive to some of us uh my mother was very weak and allowed it to occur and was a martyr and basically because of that taught us that loving someone equals murdering yourself nothing productive about I didn't know that I that I was like that my I had an AA that had value until I went through enough hardships on my own and started learning on my own seeking Clarity I I I grew up in an environment that taught me the opposite it was not productive to yish kite but clearly it was productive for what my soul needed to experience and what I need to experience now or I wouldn't have been born into that environment so what even though it's nonproductive by your definition it was productive because it produ it produced eight dysfunctional children that these eight children needed to be produced in that environment for whatever our souls need right I'm confused here do we disagree or do we agree on the definition of a productive situation I would agree except for the fact that by your definition of a nonproductive situation I lived in that and it produced a kids with severe dysfunction but clearly that was God's intention so then it actually was productive even though by your defin it looked like your definition of non-productive I'm confused about whether or not you know what my definition of a productive situation is so I just want to hear it from you what am I saying would be productive or non-productive that productive means that even if somebody is in a hard situation right they are working on themselves either they turn more to Hashem for for their strength and seven more and and grow in their amuna and be T and good me and nonproductive would be somebody who's very angry resentful yes like I know in in my marriage I I was before I got married I was a very loving nuring person and now I am not because I have to be the man and the woman I have to father the mother I'm I'm I'm my kids have no nurturing mother it's nonproductive by your definition it's everything opposite of what right got it should be got it okay my kids grew up in that environment have to that that was productive because that's what it's wanted because that's what occurred stop just stop just stop stop stop stop stop nobody here listening is going to be able to keep up with this if we don't stop a second please stop okay take the tape out of the tape player just stop okay I want to explain something not to you cuz I think you probably already understand this but to everyone who's listening Hashem is infinite infinite is Big it's really big it's not just big it's so big that multiple things can converge perfectly as at once for different reasons and yet even while one situation is occurring that's affecting multiple people it can have exactly the right effect on each different party that it needs to have in other words you can be raising your kids in a situation that is I'm not I don't want to say you okay because I don't want to personalize it right now let's say there's a woman who's raising her children in a dysfunctional situation it may come to pass that she will decide that the situation is no longer productive for her and at the very same time it was productive for her children it's not a contradiction it's not a contradiction even if it produced this fu you have to look at the full story sometimes the conflict is the setup for the resolution sometimes the problem is the setup for the solution so if you take a snapshot you'll say well this person has a messed up life but if you play the whole film then you'll see well they went through adversity and commensurate to their challenges they gained insight that other people don't gain because they don't go through those same challenges but is the goal Insight or is the goal to be able to actualize that insight into serving Hashem better right very very well stated right Insight by itself that's not acted upon lacks value so correct thank you for adding that it's not just the Insight it's being able to act on it okay but let's Okay so and then okay let's go back okay okay cuz I I put you on pause while I explained something that was sort of a side point because you brought up the way your children are being affected I knew that as an educator I strongly suspected that that was going to distract a lot of people and they were going to get into a loop and I wanted to sort of get us out of that Loop let's go back to your now I put the tape back in the tape player okay so okay you're in a situation now that you're saying is not leading you to what you consider to be uh ideal character attributes but rather it's it's instilling in you feelings of resentment is that what you were saying if only it was that it it is every possible negative mea you could imagine but that's my problem I can't blame or someone else right let's just talk in theory over here let's say that you were told you have one more year to be in this situation and at the end of the year you're being forced to leave the situation but you will be evaluated based on the insights that you gain the lessons that you learn what experiences or internal shifts would you need to have over the next year to be able to leave the situation and say it made me a better person I don't know because um I've been living like that for at least six years just telling myself it's just till you know the kids are older just till happen that's not what I'm talking about I'm not talking about how how much longer can you survive I'm going to talk about kicking the can down the road I'm doing a little thought experiment here where I'm pretending that you have a year left to study for the exam you're going to be given an exam a year from now and the exam is what did you learn from this challenging situation in what ways did it make you a better person it didn't it destroyed me that's the problem not today I'm talking a year from now this is a theoretical part of your life that you haven't lived yet so you have a year for this situation to make you I knew I had to utilize it to make myself better I wouldn't be on this call I wouldn't have a problem I don't know this is just a thought experiment this is just a thought experiment there's no pressure here you have a year to make yourself a better person from this experience to glean from it all of the life lessons that you can so I'm just curious in this pretend hypothetical situation what might you come away from this situation within a year from now I know what I would like to be but I don't we're just pretending here believe that I can do it okay you hey you can say I want to learn how to fly this is pretend yeah the perfect world be I would be the mother that I this can't be stop a second it can't be a nonse it has to be a cause and effect you can't just say magically at the end of the year I'm going to become a perfect mother that doesn't make sense then why would you have to be in the situation that you're in there's no causal relationship I need you to make a if then statement if I will be in this dysfunctional frustrating heartbreaking dysfunctional situation then I will be able to learn such and such lessons in other words don't tell me that magically at the end of the year you're going to become the perfect mother I need to understand how it's a cause and effect how the situation actually creates an opportunity you understand what I'm saying you do okay so say it to me in a way that is particular to the situation don't say it as a non seor where I'm I'm going to become a perfect mother at the end of the year how based on what how is being in the dysfunctional situation you're in conducive to that how would it lead to that how would the particular challenges you're facing set you up for those for that for that breakthrough so that's what I need you to tell me not allow yeah not allowing others actions to affect me okay okay let's just stop there for a second because I I I want to focus One Life Lesson not allowing others actions to affect me so if you could come away a year from now and say you know what I gained a tremendous Insight I gained emotional autonomy I'm no longer affected by other people's actions so that would be a great thing to gain and it would be an obvious cause and effect it would be like oh I get it like you were in a situation where you had to learn that skill and therefore you learned it so are you following me yeah okay so you asked me a question a while ago which was how do I I know if I'm the problem or if the situation is the problem if the situation is the problem I should leave the situation if I'm the problem I should fix myself so here's what I'm saying spend a year fixing yourself don't make any decisions right now you know one life lesson that you can learn while you're in this situation okay so see if it's possible to learn that life lesson in the next year it's a win-win proposition because either way at the end of the year either you will not have gained that insight and you'll realize there's nothing more to be gained here and then you'll have Clarity or you'll have gained that insight and that ability and then you'll have the option to remain in this situation because after all you've brought yourself to this place where you're unaffected then you have the option then you get to choose but if I fail yeah there's no real there's no real failure if I'm not able well if you're if it doesn't happen been there done that been there done that it works well it works but the Dynamics is the more I don't absorb the other person's issues yeah the stronger they create issues until they can get a spot it's like a toer who's going to keep tantruming until they get a response but they do other things in other ways but it's similar thing so I could do it to certain extent but eventually it will affect me so that's what I mean by failing so I can do it but not completely and this has been something that I've been working on for I want to say at least three years now okay um okay and and but it doesn't mean but it still means that I need more work on me not necessarily that I'll repeat what I said before I'll repeat what I said before that at the end of the year if you end up gaining if the end of the year you end up gaining whatever it is the lesson the insight and you become this super person who's able to tolerate all types of dysfunction and it doesn't bother you it doesn't touch you it doesn't rattle your cage in any way per form then you have the option to stay or you have the option to say you know what I'm above it it doesn't bother me anymore but just because I can tolerate it doesn't mean that I will so you have all the options open to you but right now it seems like you sat in a really difficult class and you didn't really learn what you needed to learn to get an A on the test so you went through so much of it already why don't you just finish it off and learn what you need to learn from it unless you're telling me you don't want to in which your case I'm not forcing you to stay I mean I have I no no I'm not telling you no I'm not I'm not I'm not saying that I want to know what a has put me in the situation for a reason but what that reason is so what I'm saying well we know one possible reason that you feel perhaps it would be a lesson to gain to learn to be emotionally autonomous that means to be able to choose joy and purpose and focus and Clarity even when other people around you are being crazy and if you can gain that that has a lot of applications Beyond marriage it has applications in almost every aspect of life right and on the other hand my brain tells me yeah go ahead go the other on the other end your brain tells you what you're going to you're going to sit around and there's going to be no difference and you can just waste more time become more jaded and more resentful but more than that my I could argue that put the situation for me to say that I am a person of value and don't deserve to be treated like this and I you told me you already learned that to care for my soul you told me that you already learned that oh well in like like you said before intellectually but I never I didn't take the steps to to actually care for myself by leaving so are you telling me that the same thing so are you telling me that the same lesson that your father taught you which was that you do not have value that you internalized that you only learned that it was wrong intellectually but you never really unlearned it in any meaningful way and that you still don't know clearly that's why I married someone like clearly because that's why I married someone with similar different but similar yeah issues as my father clearly that's correct it is extremely hardwire even though I know it I'll tell to my kids but it doesn't mean I truly feel it enough to act differently because it is high wire hardwired into my brain from birth so what do you want to do I want to do what hasem wants me to do like one of your talks I heard you say that a person could always be satisfied within themselves themselves knowing that Hashem gave you Hashem gave you everything you need well this is what Hashem decided I needed but why did Hashem give it to me so that I could that is so untenable that it's going to force me to actually act on the fact that I don't deserve this and be able to take and force me to take the action to actually care about myself and do something or am I supposed to perfect myself within this I don't know why Hashem gave it to me I know Hashem gave it to me but for what let me try to make it simple I don't know what you're supposed to do I don't know what you're supposed to do did I say that already I'm going to say it again I don't know what you're supposed to do but I do know that for the present by present I mean this moment there has to be something productive so either you're going to learn emotional autonomy and how to rise above other people affecting you or you're going to learn to Value yourself and not tolerate mistreatment or maybe some other lesson but there has to be some lesson that you're learning right now I don't know what you're supposed to do I don't know if you're supposed to stay or go I can't tell you that but I do know that if you're here right now you're in the situation right now not talking about tomorrow I'm talking about now then there has to be something you're learning from it and I think you have some ideas already of lessons that you need to internalize so instead of asking yourself does Hashem want me to stay or does Hashem want me to go which I don't know the answer to and you clearly don't know the answer to yet and you may at some point gain Clarity but right now you clearly don't have Clarity so then don't ask that question I feel like I do but I doubt myself oh then go ahead by all means if you have Clarity what's what's what does hasem want you to do no but I say but I doubt myself I feel so first tell me what you know and then tell me the first tell me what you know and then tell me the doubt let's do step one and then step two you said I know and then I doubt myself so tell me what you know and then tell me how it's not true step one what do you know I know that I and my kids and nobody and even my husband doesn't deserve to live the way that we are living that this is an we're living in an untenable environment for any human being and no one deserves to live like this that I know I know that I'm scared of misinterpreting what Hashem wants for me because if I the wrong stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop are you telling me what you know or did you sneakily transition into your doubt because I didn't hear you oh okay fine okay I know that I want you to tell me can you hear me by the way I'm I'm screaming so that you can hear me do you hear me when I'm speaking yes I hear you okay so I need you to listen to me I need you to listen to me I need you to listen to me I want you to stay on one track tell me what you know and after you're finished telling me what you know then we can explain how it's all wrong and it doesn't make sense and you don't know what you're talking about but first just tell me what you know and then when you're done tell me you're done and then we can undo it all okay the bottom line that I know is that AEM wants me to learn to Val to truly value my Essence not just say it but feel it and do what's every required whatever action is necessary in order to live with that knowledge and act upon it that I have gifts that Hashem bestowed upon me that I'm supposed to use in this world for good and for to surfish end and to value that and utilize it instead of quash it and live a nonfunctional nonproductive life I know that okay okay okay that was beautiful that made sense you spoke with conviction you spoke with Clarity and you said I know that everything you're saying I know that okay now stop I'm going to give you an opportunity now to undo it go ahead take it all apart tell me how it's all wrong no I know that but the question is how do I attain that did has put me in this okay situation because I'm supposed to attain it like within the situation so here here's the thing or is a situation no nobody knows nobody can tell you what you're supposed to do but here's the thing you have certain knowledge and you have it actually very clearly and I gave you an opportunity by the way to argue against yourself you told me I know but then I doubt I know but then I doubt and then I said go ahead and tell me all the doubts and you declined actually you know you can go play back the YouTube Replay I asked you go ahead and tell me how everything you just said was wrong and you like no actually it wasn't wrong I know it I know what I was saying so you don't even doubt it you don't even doubt it do you understand that there is that what I'm saying to you does it make sense to I don't I know that to be the truth I don't doubt that so here how do I attain it how do you attain that's another question that's another question [Music] nobody can tell you what to do I can't tell you to get divorced I'm not going to I'm not going to tell you that I don't know you I never met you I never I didn't speak to your husband there's no way I could have an opinion on something like that what I do know and I know it because you know it and told it to me really really clearly is that you don't deserve to be in a situation where you are mistreated and you know that very very clearly now what are you going to do about that I don't know I don't know I don't know but what I can advise you and this is just my advice and you know there other people also give advice so I hope that you speak to other people not just me my advice to you is stick with what you know stick with this truth which you have eloquently and clearly conveyed and the more you focus on this truth the more you focus on what you know to be true the more you will eventually have clarity about your course of action you don't have clarity about your course of action yet you don't you don't you have clarity about you have a clarity about a certain truth the more you focus on that truth the more you will eventually have clarity about your course of action the course of action will become apparent to you and when the course of action is apparent to you I don't even think it will be difficult in other words follow what I'm saying you're stuck right now trying to figure out what to do and you're not going to answer that question Focus instead on what you know to be true and the more you focus on what you know to be true the more you will eventually come to clarity about your course of action and when it happens it won't even be difficult right I do agree and I I I feel like I'm they're just I don't trust my self because something else you wrote on is that your father used that psychology of people trick them own they they live a fake life that they could trick themselves and I get scar maybe I'm tricking myself I don't want to hear this I don't want to hear I don't this is self-defeating I don't I don't want to hear about it yeah no no I don't I don't want to hear you spoke very clearly very eloquently you know what you know let's let's not pretend that you don't know what you know let's not let's not play that game why why why you doubting yourself focus on the truth focus on what you know to be true ignore the doubts and as I said I'll say it again you don't have a course of action clear to you right now you don't you don't you don't you just don't but you know a certain truth and that truth is that you have value that you are worthy of respect that you are precious that you are beloved in the eyes of your maker these things you know you know without a shadow of a doubt so focus on these things that you know until a course of action will present itself to you don't ask ask yourself what to do ask yourself what you know to be true and keep reminding yourself of what you know to be true until finally you know what to do about it do you understand what I'm saying does this make sense okay you're getting caught when you just said when you just said that the last time for the last time it sparked something in me that I just got this feeling like Yeah the more I focus on that truth the more I will live that truth and embrace the gifts that Hashem did give me and do what I'm supposed to do with it regardless of where I am I just got that knowledge and feeling and understanding this was the big this was the big this was the big sentence can you say it back to me again say wel back this sentence this is the whole thing this is your truth say it back to me I don't want to I don't want to forget this that I'm beloved to Hashem that that sentence whatever it is say to me it's your truth what was the spark you said you had a spark yeah that if I actually keep telling myself I'm inherently good I'm inherently loved by Hashem I have a purpose in this world then I will live the more I tell that to myself the less other influences will negatively affect me and diminish me and I'll be able to live from that truth who I'm going to need to do whether I'm in this situation of other actions making me feel differently I'll just keep telling myself the truth okay but that's very hard but I felt it for a second and I'm gonna be annoying I'm going to be so super annoying and everyone who's watching right now and who's like weirded out and they're like this guy he's too weird for me so I just want to explain to everybody I'm not here to entertain you not speaking to you right now I'm speaking to the people watching I'm not here to entertain you okay I'm I'm here to essentially well what am I here to do um help the people who are calling me now the manner which I help them um it's a process the process is really it's not about making people feel good it's about getting people to a place of clarity this particular call I'm sure many people watching this and they're like this it wasn't a pleasant call I'm going to be very Frank it was not pleasant it a lot of it was like a tooth extraction it was like a real like a like a like a a root canal okay but I want to tell you something we got to the core we got there okay so I'm not here to give people entertainment I'm I know this was an excruciating process it was excruciating for me and I know it was at least I sense that it was excruciating for you but but we got Clarity and I so therefore I'm going to be annoying I'm going to be annoying and I'm going to be boring I'm not here to entertain anyone or hold anyone's interest I want you to tell me again I'm so sorry but tell me again the truth because I don't know were we talking for 30 minutes how long were we're talking for you so how long we 40 minutes about and I the end of what you did okay at the end okay thank God that you didn't find it too painful we we invested 40 minutes okay we got this sentence that is so gold it's so gold I'm I want you to say it to me again please say it to me again you don't have to have the perfect words just say your words tell it to me again because this is your truth I actually like your words I think that's what whatever use my words whatever you want just tell me tell me the truth I need to know the truth that I have inherent value yes I am loved by my Creator my Creator put me here for purpose yes um my Creator Believes In Me yes and I know for a fact fact that Hashem has given me well yes I do know that Hashem has given me a specific gifts and talents to be utilized in the world which I have stolen from the world as I found myself getting more and more diminished and I don't mean to do that no matter what what anyone else says or makes me feel like because I could just keep focusing on the truth of the fact that Hashem Believes In Me and Hashem loves me and put me here for a purpose and that's what I need to focus on that's correct and that when you focus on that the course of action that you need to take will reveal itself and that you don't have to figure out the course of action you just have to keep remembering the truth I agree and I appreciate it and I actually found this extremely fascinating not painful at all and I appreciate thank God because I want to tell you something I I like I told you this was a tooth extraction but you were awesome I think probably a lot of people watching were screamish and they're like what is he doing screaming at her I want to tell you something you were awesome and in 40 minutes we got to the core this was the thing that unfortunately growing up in your home you were told the opposite and now you know that this is the truth you have value you are precious you are beloved and you're here in the world to shine your light and not to diminish yourself for anybody and if you'll just keep reminding yourself that they then what you need to do about it will become clear and the more I live like that the more I will internalize it and S to actually feel it inherently inside me right yes that's right that's why I'm telling you keep repeating that truth internalizes the word you use the perfect word keep reminding yourself that truth keep reminding yourself that truth yeah but I have to act on it I tell myself I already you don't have to worry about that I'm making it simple for you just keep repeating the truth when you internalize it it'll come out it'll come out in your behaviors it'll come out in your choices not only that it'll come out in the choices that you even observe are possible a lot of times we have choices in front of us but we don't see that there options so we don't act on them so it's not that we don't have the ability to choose it's that we don't even see what the options are available so the more you repeat to yourself that truth the more you're going to see the options that are available understood and I agree and I appreciate it thank you so much thank you for the hard work thank you for the hard work thank you thank you okay awesome call okay and you you know what have a restful shabas you deserve it you worked hard tonight okay you should live my life this is easy oh this isas compared to the rest of your crazy life this was a picnic okay great yes it is okay now I get to go back to Crazy the other mother she could feel free to reach out to me I understand yeah email yeah email you email me your number and I'll give it to the previous caller so you can talk to her about some uh parenting Nur the Virgin kids uh tips and uh advice and like that okay awesome you were awesome thank you thank you thank you okay all right that was our last caller okay good chabas okay so jfyi yes I know that was a long call I know it was a Meandering call but I'm going to tell you something we got to the end we got to it we got to it it's a tooth extraction sometimes you have to go in there and you're digging and if I work and the person I'm talking to is working and she was working she was working she was locked in well she she you know what happened I don't want to speak about her well she hung up she's probably listening now on on on the live stream that self-doubt crept in and that was like the distraction that's why I kept on trying to bat that away that's that's that voice of self-doubt was just taking us like the second we were gaining traction like the self-doubt was coming in and like making everything slip away so that's why I was trying to Keep Her On Track and bar she kept working hard and that was awesome awesome caller and uh yeah I'm sorry to those of you who are bored or those of you who found it uh weird or who were squeamish about it but that's what hard work looks like and that was an awesome caller okay so I didn't have fun um no I did not find that enjoyable but I feel like it was time well spent that's that's that's basically how I look at life by by the way people ask me like having a good time no I don't have good times that's not what I do not JJ I'm not having good times I like that reference I'm here to be productive here to accomplish something I feel that was a productive call cuz the the caller was working hard and that's what life's about okay I have other calls coming in one second one second yeah hi are you calling in right now okay try again on that number that I gave you oh actually wait can you call me back in like no one second no no on that other number that 516 number wait could you call me in 15 minutes is that okay okay um second Michael welcome Michael's on the show Rabbi how are you bem thank God how are you doing I'm doing very well glad to hear it hi Melissa welcome hello hi there hi thanks for having me on tonight it's our pleasure welcome to the show thank you Rabbi great to be here hey there how you doing uh doing well long time listener first home caller thanks for taking me hello hey there you're on the air we'd like to extend a special thank you to mendal Simon and 9x9 tech for powering this call-in show and making it possible for us to connect with our amazing audience 9x9 Tech offers a One-Stop service for all your communication needs along with personalized Tech Solutions catered specifically towards your business visit 9 by9 tech.com today that's 9x9 tech.com thank you mandal and the team for your incredible support hey this is shase tab you were just watching a clip from this class if you want to get the full context the full class that this clip that you just watched with from you watch right here click right here here