Sod Siach - Rabbi Moshe Sunenshine סוד שיח -הרב משה סאנענשטיין

Sunenstein, tell us where's the best, who are you, where you from, where did you grow up. >> Good. Introduce yourself a little bit. >> Okay. So, I grew up in Brooklyn. I came from I was actually born in Lakewood, New Jersey. My father was a younger man here many many many years ago when there was only 300 people in in Nishima and and then afterwards we moved to Brooklyn and I grew up in Brooklyn New York and I went to most of my life. Shima >> Flabbush >> in Flatbush and after Kyle I moved to Cleveland. I was in Cleveland for about 14 years. >> Oh wow. >> I was in Kyle over there and then I was involved with mistas and with >> it. No, no. There was a co there that uh we thought, you know, people grow up in Brooklyn think you can move out of town and it's going to be quiet and really and just a smaller version of Brooklyn. So, it sounds great. So, you get there and there's no restaurants and nothing's open and everybody's nice to you and who wants to live there, right? But the wife is very nice. It's beautiful place to live. But we went out there, went to live there >> for 14 years. Oh my god. >> 14 years. I know. It's like we're trying. I thought we were going in there just for a few years. All nice if we ended up there. >> Wow. >> I moved back over here. >> What brought you by? >> Um, family things, school things, some parasa, but it was it was time. Our our families were living here. So, >> excited families. >> Send the families here and it was it was time to come back. >> Okay. >> Um, so we moved back and I was involved when I came back. >> You raised a family over there in Cleveland. Yeah. >> How many children do you have? >> Five children. >> Five. So yeah, you you got married, you moved to Cleveland, you lived there for 14 years. >> 14 years. A Brooklyn first for a few years and then moved to Cleveland. And then we moved back here in 2013. >> So you're a 40 years when you rupt. >> I was not exactly. >> And over there you worked in coil full day. Full car. of the in the beginning. >> Okay. >> And then I was involved with fundraising for the and then I was involved with Kiru. I was a rabbi actually in a small town in Ohio called Canton Ohio. I was a rabbi there for 5 years. >> Oh wow. >> Orthodox shul two orthodox people in the shul. Everybody else parked behind the bushes. But the schmucka place and and that's really where where I started like getting really involved with the idea of kira of dealing with people expanding. You grew up in Brooklyn. It's like a little bit like you walking around with blinders a little bit and then you get out in the world and you realize that there's all kinds of people out there and you and you have to be with them. always know it but you have to be then and find the people that are not like you and it was a very very growing experience to be able to do that to go out and do that. So so that's what it was that's why I was there and I was also involved with business and started getting involved with different businesses also. So you were a rabbi. Why am I asking that again? Cuz my father was before I was born. He was also a rabbi in Union City for 10 years. >> Yeah. >> In Union City to address it. Yeah. >> And also it was very it was an orthodox sh but there like you said there were two Orthodox people >> right >> and the children went to Hebrew day school. Some of them turned out to be foolish to mitzvah and giddish families some of them not. But there was always the question my father asked out close what does he tell a person that comes to share with the car. >> Right. Right. What are the major questions? >> Major questions. How did you address that? >> Yeah we did it. We did >> them addressing. You know, we dope the person. When they're in shore, they're in shore. I know when I called up a guy from an aliyah and his phone rang right middle of the aliyah and then he uh you know expressed his disappointment. I'm not going to tell you how but uh so you >> what you do is always feel like in Kiru it's always like this. Either you mess or you have a great story. >> Yeah. Once a lawyer had both you talking about ringing it was sure I'm about and I had my phone in my pocket I forgot it because I was delivering shvita and my shabas pants already and after my phone drizzled I'm like had nightmares like the food that would be on and I'm about to guy that has phones ring like sh >> so I had my phone >> so now you check >> yeah every time like I check my pockets make sure that or at least make sure it's don't viate you know the color >> exactly >> right but anyway that's that's like you start dealing with people and you start you deal with the thing that's in front of you you deal with the person that's in front of you. You deal with their and and people react to it. People respond to it. People uh people want to be dealt with as people. They don't want to have to defend their whole past and their whole just want to be able to be listen these people are coming to show for a reason. They're not coming for they're not coming because they nicer show. They're not coming because it's they're coming because they want they you know they have in their memories desiders going to shore. They have they have something that's bringing them to there. They have something that's connecting them. So we have to find that place that that's to zoom in on that place. >> Then every person different. >> Every person's different. Every person is different from today till tomorrow. Every person is even the same person's different. So you had a taste of Kov had a taste of care in in Cleveland and and nearly with measis things like that. Um and then I was involved I was always involved peripherilally of different places. I was involved with fundraising and things like that and when this opportunity came up the opportunity to work for a so it was very intriguing to me. I told you I didn't want to do something where I had to do fundraising again, but I wanted to do something where where I felt like I was able to have an impact, make a difference and and feel that the moist was something you was making. >> Actually, let me move the mic to this side. Oh, I just perfect. >> Sure. Maybe I should do this way. See, >> it's good you were thinking beer. So I sent him my content that I have to wear shirts now a minimum of 50% of the time. Yeah from >> exactly nobody told me just to warm up. >> Yeah. >> So what do you do now for what's your position? >> My position is associate to director. >> Okay. So one of the main one of the main departments to mates one of the largest departments of I should say it's total mates >> which is >> and to what is tomates what is >> tomates is kabusa program where people that are unaffiliated or people who grew up without the benefit of the yish education will be able to learn with through yan not with cure experts with with with friends with a peer but a person who grew up from or a person who has a from background able to learn >> better what what do you learn >> there's so many things that you learn really it's although we do have within URA now explain this to us it's an important piece it has to be approved learning to be part of our program know we have to approve learning but the what we approve is is a vast from kish to Mishna to gar to to shabas toka all across the board but it has to be approved learning really I'll explain to you why it's why why this is such an important piece of it what we do init what does is we don't just say okay we'll put together you do you learn it together marinize it doesn't we have uh we have 30 coordinators we have over 7,000 active partnerships Oh wow. >> So which means if you do the math >> huge >> 14,000 people between between the sites >> and we have 30 coordinators that their entire job fulltime on payroll is doing phone calls and texts and connect on a constant basis with 14,000 people to find out how the learning is going. How's is the book that they're learning the right thing? Are they growing in any way? What can we do to help? How can we how can we uh think about what part of their journey is next? How can we encourage and supports? And that that's what we do. Our job is to support not just to make sure that not just to make the but to support the learning and to support the volunteers that are giving the time to do it. >> So I I'm I'm I'm obviously was born from >> Yeah. And I grew up in the system and like I had somebody ask me you're busy you started work for URA as what about our there's so much work to do in the community. to the obvious answer is because I got a check from URA and it's like there's the police department, fire department and you can't say I don't want to spy you can't say I don't want fire every department and every department has an organization >> yes >> how do you know when not to push too much mean say I see that or is a very on top of their game, very followup statistics, analytics, the whole nine yards. When does some When do you realize that, hey, I made it too much? Could turn people off. I could take them off. Like, >> so a person story >> or is it just me asking cuz I'm coming from this side versus a person that's unaffiliated appreciates it. >> The question is a great question. All right, let me get this. Many many many years ago I had an interview within >> from a >> from a he interviewed me for a position that uh he didn't take me and he was right. I was too young in an experience at the time but it was worth it. I flew in I was living in Cleveland. I flew to New York to have this interview. It was worth every minute of it and it was a fascinating if you know anything about him fascinating person. But at the end of the interview I told him I want to ask a question. I told him, "I heard of myself on you many years ago. I wonder if it's true." So, all right. Tell you my son. So, I said, "Okay, your head." Somebody asked you if you ever pushed somebody too hard and turned them off and you told them hundreds of times. So the man asked you if it off we pushed his eye off the d his is your problem now itself hundreds he said because I turned on thousands don't it's called triage we do the best we can't and if you're going to be too scared we're going to turn somebody off because you're pushing too hard we're pushing that of love and we try the best and we try to learn our lessons and we try to every day try to learn from our mistakes of the past we always try to be better but we can't be scared from the question. It's a great question. We can't be scared of the question because otherwise we will be pow. We won't do anything. Nobody will do anything that's scared of the high risk high reward. There is a high risk. And can I tell you that nobody ever said anything that that a another person feel felt bled from it? I can't tell you that. But what I could tell you is that we're looking at thousands and thousands of that are coming close at the every day, every week, every month. You're hearing stories and we're seeing them and we have events where we get to meet them in person and we watch them grow and we have people that are calling them. We do thousands of calls a week thousands and so we're on top of it and if we notice that something's off if we notice that a mentor may be pushing too hard or something we'll get on top of it. We have k of experts in our coordinators are k experts and we ask the right shas and we asked it from the right people we have who went to really shila we go and we'll bring it to him we'll ask him can I say we never make a mistake that would that would be crazy to say >> in the milla it says after the whole says why not because if you I don't have school it's impossible to satisfy any man. So it's uh perspective you know >> so we we don't back down we do take but that's why we have ordinance and that's why we're making these phone calls so that we can monitor as things are happening they have we have we have thousands of people both on the Kira site and on the mentor side on the volunteer site that are both in touch with us so if there's something going on right one of them they'll call us they'll say I can't get through or I'm concerned about this so that and and we have deploy and we have medicine all the We're we're dealing with specifics for people's lives. >> This obviously this is run by programs and um >> Yeah. Yeah. So we have >> it's a very sophisticated system. They built their own system. They were using an offtheshelf that was like sort of retrofitted into what we do. And the past two years maybe more even but they've been building a we have our own very robust very uh we see this uh um programming that that's so foolish as they say. >> Yeah. >> There's a lot of things you do. I just for me it's a it's very funny that I'm working with ura. >> Yeah. >> Because from me personally, I don't like accountability. I don't I don't enjoy authority. Um, this the typical symptoms of somebody that grew up in a in a strong catch if you want. >> No, I'm good. >> Yeah. >> And I refuse straight. >> Good. Good. >> Just don't let it out. Tell me what's on your mind. Nobody's listening. >> Nobody's listening now. >> Right. But it isn't right. But then and then so you you feel like it's a culture clash for you. >> No. So no. So for me, I had to I had somebody call me on like I said there so many white. So I told them that my content is in Yiddish for that specific reason. I could I could communicate in English. My vocabulary is not that bad. I can brush up a little bit. If I use it more, it gets better. The voice is the same in English. The charisma, the fine is the same in English. And I could have many many more followers on Instagram or on YouTube, >> but my content is my way is my in my mission >> and I want to give it to the nobody's actually talking to them and they won't listen to an English language um podcast or it doesn't talk to them the same way as a regular machine talk to them either. So where was I going? That right there. >> You tell me about your >> Oh, so so with Bura, yeah, it's an adjustment. It's an adjustment for you because UA is the total opposite. It's a very structured organization, very like analytical feedback, followups, and strings attached as well. >> Except I will tell you, I'll jump in on that. I'll tell you that one of the things that was attractive to me I told you when I went to interview I interviewed for one position they got to know me I didn't think you'd be better at this position wouldn't that be and one of the one of the strength of URA is that they really look to bring out the personality of each person that they hire that means they follow a a system of management system one of the main pieces of management system is making sure that you have the right person in in the right seat. That means you have somebody who's great. If he doesn't fit in, doesn't mean he doesn't fit in the organization. It means he doesn't get in that seat. I mean, as a coordinator to make his follow-ups every day to do his his amount of things, it's not going to be good. But he's a great guy. We want him. Where else can we find him? And and there's so many different there's so many different is a huge organization. We have a camp zone and tuition and this kind of cure that we're doing. There's so many different areas where a person can find themselves. So I'm not saying there's a job for everybody, but they will you'll find that when you work in the dura, they will work to find to bring out your personality and what makes you special. They're not going to squash a major quality for success in an organization. >> Yeah. >> The first thing that comes to mind is football. You know, you have these coaches, they're knowing how to put the players in the position to win, >> right? Even the players who thought of themselves I'm a good quarterback then generally you're a good receiver and they'll they right they'll find their their talent post for certain players. So really it's I think it's a very very special thing but they'll do the >> tour program the camps >> this camp >> which is a big part of the program >> right >> there's the car for kids >> cars for kids is not part of the queue of organization it's >> it's a financial >> it's it's the right it's what helps bring in the money to to support it all >> and >> and we also we have tuition department which is really not tuition drama. It's really Jewish education where the goal of it, the mission is to work with kids that are in families, families of children that have the children kids that are in public schools and to get them to switch and we'll work with them. So there's a person on staff for Marshall whose entire job is just to deal with issues that people have with switching. Maybe a kid has an issue in a school and they don't feel like they want to go back to a jur school because maybe they need special needs or whatever the case is where a person on staff full-time just to deal with those issues. And then we have the part of the tuition department that's uh that's probably the bulk of of the office of the tuition department is giving out millions of dollars a year to help fund people. What's what's a person's biggest uh hesitation to move from public school to a Jewish school? Is it a rapid education plus money? So we help pay for thousands of kids. >> You know, I'm thinking about it and and we spoke about it before about Ura versus Cro. >> Yeah. >> It's not so much as why are they doing it? It's like why in there another for the >> Yeah. this this >> that's that's the because another thing I told every person is that don't get me wrong that's why >> I'm passionate for it's um So all times it's a person who is children right so there's levels took and I spoke to he's a kid but uh he's not a kid and we were talking about the infant sudoka we're going off or topic for a second and I that today's fundraisers if there's an Almuna with five Symano you could raise three $4 million and rightfully so. However, if the guy is just struggling, has a job and he just he needs something to help him over, you got to have a hard contact finding a sponsor for that. I met another guy and he's into he wanted uh he wanted me to talk about um helping people in certain ways like organizational skills, budgeting and these types of things and boy Russia brings an example. What means boy? You should don't let them fall all the way and they help him. Prevent them from falling. And Rashid brings the medish or mush to a hamar that's about to fall. Rash says that one person could adjust the load and and put everything back in place. Once the kamar falls with his load, five people are not going to be able to to lift him. So this whole copy of Seduka's charities today is very much an emotional an emotional story, >> right? >> Um therefore it's it's much easier to fund raise let's say for Uru or for much more sensational when you see Yeah. the differences and >> Right. Right. Yeah. Listen again this is this so many causes there's so many beats and so many things out there marketing and presenting it the right way I don't think I call marketing marketing has a has a has a sound to it that's like like it's fake no it's not fake you just need to get the attention there's so many important things that everybody wants you have a a family with eight nine kids they all need attention so this kid will spill this and this kid will there all do something to get attention. It doesn't mean that they don't need that. They do need attention. Everybody needs attention. You have to be able to market it the right way. But >> there was about four. >> There's a difference. There's a difference between letting people know about something, >> right? >> Which is a form of marketing and manipulative type of marketing where if you don't have it, you're less, >> right? >> Like they had the advertisement. I'm not going to mention the company because um like boy fire with this company setting off the whole thing and first there was a ad for like boy fire without it you like a fist of it little fire and the next page four guys of marshmallows. >> Yeah. And the stands the branches and the stand for the fire and a tent for this. This is blah blah. So, and it bothers me. >> Yeah. >> And obviously that's why I spoke about it. And guess what? It bothers a lot of people and that's why we're so upset. >> This was a big hit, this one. >> Yeah. It was probably my most viral content today. >> You know, they say now there's a phrase that they use. He said the quiet out loud. >> Yeah, >> that's what it is. You know, usually we try to beat Sunday and not send out. There's a reason why this is. >> But sometimes you have to say it. There's an elephant here. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. No one's going to talk about it. The emperor has no clothes. Nobody's going to talk about Nobody didn't mention this. >> I I don't want this episode to be too long. >> Yeah. >> And >> you cut it up anyway. >> Yeah. I we're here before and it's it's man Martin to sign when we got the to life it's a way of life it's not it's not a book it's not that you acquire it's a lifestyle um and was I give and nobody's going to neglect the right hand because he's focused on the left hand or vice versa and rules one body and in Colorado and therefore it's important the organizational order is important very important is a person obviously he could buy for $5 a ticket at the auction a regular person he's not a career If he's not a multi-millionaire, he still wants to do something in this field, how could he make an impact on the smallest level possible? >> Yeah. So, like you said, buy a ticket. You can buy a ticket. Yeah. >> And you should support support these things. >> Volunteer to be a tomate. >> You know that we have at any given time we can have several hundred yin that are waiting to learn with somebody. You don't have to be a cure of experts. You don't have to be a rabbi. You don't have to be a reif. You don't have to be a dying. You have to be a person with a person who's willing to give a half hour a week. You know how many half hours there are in a week? 300 and something one half hour a week. Give it to somebody else. Let's give it to some of you out there was dying to learn this care a little bit learning care a little bit of and not only to hear the but to connect you know what it feels like and I'm not even asking you to do something I'm asking you to be to get something because the mentors that are spending the time with their Torah mates they spend a half hour a week and they become we call them mentors because they really become a mentor to them when a yid calls you up and he asks you for advice on how to move forward in his yiddish kite And he and he tells you, "Listen, my wife told me that she's learning with her to mate for three years now. She thinks this week she's starting to shabas." You know what that does to you? You think your shabas is that same shabas that you had yesterday last week? >> Wow. >> It changes your life. It chang. So what are we asking for? You could support for sure. You should help support your time. Give of yourself. You give yourself of your that's give give your and you know you could shine you can give your own personality you would learn with somebody who with you and they would they would enjoy your personality and they would enjoy what you are teaching them you don't have to be somebody else there is so much you can do >> and you don't have to fake it because you have a lot of knowledge even though you think that you don't have it >> you'll be shocked and you know you know what people love the most where they ask you question and you say that's such a good question. I don't know the answer. I have to ask my dog and they love it. You think like I need to know the answer. You don't have to know the answer. First of all, like you said, you know, a long point that you think you know, they want to see I always the most attractive thing in the world is all fantasy schmeck of a fanty person. That's all you need to be. You don't have to fake enough that they make yours. All right. I was in my 20s, mid20s and I was going through my my journey and I didn't feel nothing. >> Yeah. I felt nothing. I was I had depression at the time obviously financial the bias the whole nine yards and I wanted to feel something. So I went to a rage. >> Yeah. >> Cuz I'm I'm looking for some from Spark for something. Yeah. >> And I told him I don't feel wanted. So I feel zero. I like I I don't feel I don't feel like Lville. So he asked me. So I told him I explained to him with the tadas how disassociated and disconnected I so asked him do you make a before you eat? So I said of course I make a before I eat. The same way I put salt. I make a because otherwise it just doesn't feel right. But yeah, >> not because I want to make a brulet. I'm thanking Hashem for the food that I'm about to eat and I'm acknowledging that everything comes from him. It was just like, >> yeah, I am like that toothpick afterwards like a diet coke. I make a buffet. But >> he started laughing and he told me, "You think you're unaffiliated? Come in tomorrow to my office. I'll show you what unaffiliated is." Point being is if you think you don't have what to offer, Mosha says you have a lot to offer. And I'll add something else. If you think that you are giving away the amount that that you receive is unimaginable, the satisfaction, the growth when you give somebody else. >> Yeah, it's so true. We have we people report because we're doing all these phone calls because we have a relationship with all these different people. We get to see it in heel climb. We get to see the >> There's a funny question that comes to mind. >> Funny question. >> Yeah. Somebody asked the question. >> I put it on the spot. What kind of questions have people asked? There was all kinds of questions. >> I have to think about Milic flash a question or something. police if I ask buddy. >> Uh I had we went to Swan Lake in the summer my parents. >> Yeah, >> it's actually a very funny story cuz the guy said it with the folks and we shot which was also orthodox. >> Yeah. >> But the car's album. So there was this guy had big hair and he was like 50 year old and he was learning army already like part of his >> but he had zero idea what's going on and there was a whole talk that we're making an af and he says the af restricts you could only carry within the boundary >> that you don't make it >> yeah carry anywhere >> yeah carry anywhere but if you make an IR you could only carry within the boundary I'll tell you it's funny. I'll tell you about this story recently on on video also. But just remember I just remind me of it. This guy went to what? And he went he was by a retreat by a retreat and and he's he's there and he's listening to everything. It's really growing as he goes to the store. He has to go listen. Everything sounds so good. level. He want who's banish level. Okay. So yeah, people have have no idea how many people and where people's gaps are in the and what people know, what people don't know. And when people know know more than you more than they think they know and you bring it out they love to share the you know people run around hiding the all time but as soon as you start bringing it out the proudest person in the world that talk about their grandmother and they remember the and they remember the like people want to connect with these guys times up we spent valuable time with we slapped him away from his daily grind. He has a ton of meetings of follow-ups waiting for him. Thanks for joining us. That's good. It's good. You'll see how it is. You'll cut it up. I'll tell you great story. You mention so I'll tell you a great story. A guy friend of this. He said he had a friend and the guy he wants to take on something. I don't know if it was kipper or whatever it was mechanic some kind. And he said he want say see what's he do. See he read this thing about saying you know what I'm gonna start small one a day my first coffee the money I'm going to say slowly with that's my big for the year one a Hashem volcano. It's all melt. because like it's so ingrained. It's so ingrained that we don't even know what we're doing anymore. But that's what it is. The finally >> a good medicine. Wow. Thanks for leaving me off with another one. That was a good one. Wow. >> Yeah. Very good. I'll come up on him.