Transcript
Auto-generated transcript. Not time-synced to the video.
Okay and we are live. Barashem
welcome to [sighs]
class number four of 30 letters in 30
days. We started matzah shabas [snorts]
and it is now Tuesday night the night of
purim
and uh I'll share with you a story that
the rabbi told
actually was a yudaf nissen faban
and uh the whole 30 letters in 30 days
is a preparation for uh yaf nissen. So
this was yniss
to lammed z
and the rebba spoke about how he reminds
everyone at the end of the faban to make
a to make an after
and the rebba compared that to
a famous
historical fact about the rav
misha
Ra meaning um if you learn the shor
underneath the mab you have the glosses
of the rama one of the great
codifiers of the Jewish people the rav
of Krakow Poland
about uh about 500 years ago
he had a custom that amad did the spoke
about this that the knight of purim
would get dressed up in a costume, but
not for the regular reasons that people
get dressed in costumes on porn, but
actually to go incognito mode and he
would
go door to door and remind people to
Davin Maid bis mano when the Reba told
the story particularly emphasized this
idea that it wasn't just to to remember
to dav because the deba says
really let's say worst case scenario
somebody passed out or you know I'll say
that euphemistically
uh took a nap, [laughter]
but let's say they passed out from their
porms. Worst case scenario
uh really you can dab might have until
dawn which as pointed out and I looked
it up by the way uh in Krakco today was
55 I think thereabouts. So worst case w
worst case scenario okay so you'll wake
up sometime after midnight and you'll
certainly wake up before dawn and you'll
might have worst case scenario but
that's why the would say to mismano at
its time because as you know from the uh
first Mishna
of
um
before before
midnight.
So the Rama was making sure that people
would uh
deny and say Krishma
bismano on time. So after all that if
you haven't den yet, please do so. Okay.
Um,
Saddaka, I'm going to turn on
the sound.
Okay. Why is someone writing in the
chat? Wow, he's almost never late. You
mean because I was late today at 10:02?
You're calling that late or do you not
see me? I'm writing hello to this guy
who just wrote in the I'm talking about
the YouTube live chat. Someone wrote,
"Wow, he's almost never late."
Okay. I don't think I was so late today.
I was 2 minutes late.
It's pretty good for the night coming
out of Purim. Okay, we're going to give
it to Daka. I'm opening up my Kylo Kabad
app.
Where is it? Here.
And we're going to give it to Daka.
And you can't see it because it's too
far away, but there's a little button on
top says Matonus Levim.
You can actually still give matanism.
You're gonna say how could you give
matanism pur is over. Yeah, but it's
purm and inalimish
they celebrate.
So if you give now toim
it'll be distributed on the day of purim
inim. I'm going to give a little money
here.
There you go.
That's the Kabad Pushka app. Download it
at your uh app store.
Okay. Um
yeah. So I told you the story about the
I told you about David Maid. I gave
Tedda. What else do we need to do? I
don't think there's anything else we
need to do. Now the guy's writing in the
chat, I had to refresh. Meaning you you
had to push the refresh button. Not sure
if anyone else is experiencing it, but
the sound is completely broken up.
Tell me, is the sound bad?
Is anyone else having sound issues?
Hello. Hello.
Hello.
Anyone else having sound issues?
Those [music]
are my sound pads. Okay. Is everyone
sound okay? Because I'm wearing
headphones and it sounds fine. Sound is
good on my end, says Baker Coffee Maker.
Okay.
Sound is good.
All right.
Now, I'm just going to leave the
headphones on because at least it covers
up my crazy hair. Ah,
I can get a haircut before Pesak. I have
long hair now because of of AIS Leeno.
All right, you guys want to learn a
letter?
Y says sound is great. I know Yvid. She
lives in Bokeh. I met her once at a
Shabaton. Hi, Yav.
Okay. Oh, Paula Freriedman is saying hi.
I saw Paula today in real life. She
brought Chalmonus to my house with Avi.
Hi. Okay. I like when people's uh
YouTube usernames are recognizable when
I can tell who they are in real life.
Okay. If you think I know you in real
life, say hello in the chat right now.
Okay.
Should we learn? Let's learn. Oh, and I
got the printer working. Remember
yesterday I couldn't get the printer to
work.
Now I got a real paper in my hand
in Brooklyn.
[sighs] The letter is to a man. I've
told you that before. If it's
then it's to a woman. And I've explained
in the past that a man is because
modesty is not supposed to
inquire directly to the welfare of a
woman. So you're not supposed to say
shalom,
but you can say and then once you say
shalom with a man, you just lead off
shalom. Shalom. You 724 says, "Do you
know me?" I don't know. I don't know
which I know Daniela. Yes. Hi. I don't
know. You 724. If you do you want to dox
yourself and say what your last name is?
You don't have to. Is 724 an area code?
Not sure. Okay. Bisdom. Do you see how
the letter, by the way, starts? Oh, and
if you don't have the letter in front of
you, just click on the link in the
description. There's a line that says
PDF. Just click on that and open up the
uh document. It's all laid out all nice.
I mean, you could also look in an actual
uh safer
keshb
page uh 100
or you can print it out and looks
gorgeous like this. Okay.
Um because so you see it's dot dot dot
that means redacted. Something was
removed probably because it was personal
or of a sensitive nature.
There's no name here. So we can't even
identify who the letter writer was. But
it's a man. That's all I know.
On this occasion, I would like to
is like to arouse or to I mean the
English translation here that our uh
editors wrote was to call your attention
to something, but it's more than that.
It's more like it's more like I I I kind
of like this might be a little
colloquial, but like a wakeup call to be
to wake somebody up.
It's not recognizable from any of your
letters plural
that you are dedicating from your time
and your
capacities
to influence your own household.
I know that is to say, what does it
mean? Your household,
your wife and children, may they live
and be well
in a pleasant way and in a manner of
drawing them close.
So I again I don't know who this person
was. I don't know what kind of life he
lived. I don't know what kind of issues
he was asking the Reba about. But the
Reb points out,
I haven't noticed you mentioning
anything about
setting aside time. The Reb uses the
word to be makish time and the Reb is
going to actually elaborate on why he
uses that specific word choice. But I
haven't
noticed that you've mentioned anything
at all about you setting aside time to
be of an influence
on your wife and children.
Becky Trac is saying hi. I think I know
who that is.
I think I know which Becky that is.
Okay. I'm if if you're watching uh the
replay or you're listening on Spotify
tomorrow or whatever or a year from now,
you're like, "Who is he talking to right
now?" I'm I'm responding to the YouTube
chat. This is a live class at 10 p.m.
Eastern and people write in the YouTube
chat and I and I respond to it.
[clears throat]
Okay?
So, you hear what's happening here in
the letter. The Reb is saying, "You've
written to me numerous times, right?"
Right. He says letters plural.
I guess the guy has spoken about a few
different subjects.
He's talking about, you know, stuff
that's going on in his life. And the deb
is saying, "It's interesting to me. I
haven't
noticed that you mentioned anything, not
once, no mention at all about setting
aside time to influence your wife and
children."
Mushki Gerrari 6353
says, "You taught me in high school."
Oh, no. [laughter]
There there's a reason I'm not a you
know there I shouldn't say there's a
reason why I'm not a high school
teacher. I should say there's a reason
why I do focus on adult education. I'm
not good with kids. Isn't that ironic?
Because this letter tonight is about
being dedicated to uh children. [snorts]
Yeah, I mean I can deal with my own
kids. My own kids bar. I can talk to my
own kids, but other people's kids is
very hard for me.
I made a earlier as Josh Gordon Shalom
always says.
Okay,
you say as he always says, I thought he
passed away.
>> [clears throat]
>> And because he gave all those so he
still talks he's still in the present.
Okay. At any rate so the deb is pointing
out I don't hear anything about
about you influencing your family.
Let's continue.
Now that I was explaining and I'm very
precise when I choose the word the verb
yakish
from the word uh from the root the
etmological root kuf dal shin
which means holy but it also means to
set aside in Hebrew
[sighs] something that is holy is set
aside meaning it is set apart from the
ordinary.
It's not
everyday mundane. It's special.
So when we for instance under the hoopa
when uh bride and groom establish an
exclusive relationship that's called
kushin
because it sets apart this relationship
from all others.
[snorts] So the [clears throat] or or
when somebody uh designates a sacrifice,
let's say either makdish an animal to be
a sacrifice in the times of the the holy
temple. So now that animal is no longer
available for personal use.
Now it has to be donated to the temple.
So the deba said, "I didn't notice you
mentioning anything about being makish
time for your family." And the Reba
says, "And by the way, I used that word
decidedly." That was a very specific
word choice because the Reba could have
used other words that are synonymous or
effectively synonymous for setting aside
time. But here the Reba used the word to
be makish time.
And the reason is the Reb explains
because this is a matter of holiness.
And as you're going to see from the
context as the deba writes seems that
the deba feels that this letter writer
may not appreciate the importance of
spending time with his family. He may
feel that it's less important than other
things that he does deem important
because he thinks those things are holy
and spending time with his family is
sort of like you know mundane
pedestrian banal. It's not exciting and
glamorous. And I don't mean exciting and
glamorous in a self-seeking way. I mean,
this is probably a I would say probably
a communal leader of some type, a rabbi
perhaps, who's interested in pursuing
holy things. And so he thinks that
the other projects he's involved in,
that's where the holiness is. And
spending time with your wife and kids,
whatever, you know, it's nice,
[clears throat] but you know, it's not
holy. So the deba is setting him
straight and saying no no no
I tell you to be makish time for your
wife and kids because it's a matter of
kadusha it's a matter of holiness it is
holy
cavenesh
because it is pertinent to the
continuity of a holy nation
the amadesh the holy nation of the
Jewish people
needs needs fathers to be involved in
the lives of their households and that
is absolutely essential to the
continuity of the of the holy nation. So
it is holy. Whatever else you're doing
may also be holy. But this is holy.
Perhaps
not only equally as holy as the other
important stuff you're doing, but
perhaps even more so,
[cough]
[clears throat] as we'll see.
Okay, got to unpack that.
There's a concept called
a a verse does not depart from its
literal meaning.
And then of course is from the you
should teach these words of Torah
diligently to your children.
the
the the exegetical
explanation of vishantum
as Rashi the foremost commentary
on brings on that verse.
These are the students.
You should teach diligently the words of
Torah to your to your children.
Actually means according to the
explanation of
to your students because students are
also called children. A teacher is also
considered a father.
However, the Reb is saying here, yeah,
and by the way, that's also true.
But
A verse doesn't depart from its literal
meaning. The literal meaning is still
intact, which is literal children, your
biological children, your kids.
So I I'm I'm I'm kind of guessing here
and maybe taking liberties. I would
assume that this person has talked the
person the letter writer here has
students whether they're children or
they're adults but he has people who he
is actively involved in influencing in
matters of holiness
and the Reb is saying that's all well
and good that's fantastic and that's
as explained by but also there's the
literal meaning in
of
children, your children. And what about
them? How much are you devoted to their
spiritual growth?
[cough]
And Becky is asking in the chat, "Isn't
Rashihat?" Yes, you're very good. You
You're right to bring that up. Rashi is
meaning to say it's not it's not and
it's not
but
in this case is even more than
meaning to say doesn't mean literal as
you know Rashi often explains verses
nonliterally
means the simple meaning
doesn't just mean the uh um simple
meaning. It means the literal meaning.
That's a little bit different than just
simple meaning. Literal means sticking
with the very
precise
inherent meaning of the words
themselves.
not placing it within a context of an
oral tradition which extrapolates on
what the meaning or the the encoded
meaning may may be.
[sighs]
So at any rate we're not getting into
this. I'm seeing some uh activity going
in the chat. We're not the Reb is not
giving a class here. Guys, chill. The is
not giving a class here. You want to
learn the PK? According to Rashi, that's
the proper way to learn the PK. The Reba
is giving somebody advice and saying to
him, hey, you're really really
accomplished in influencing a lot of
people. I mean, I'm reading a lot into
it, but I think I'm right here. You're
you're really involved in spreading
Yiddish kite and helping a lot of people
with their with their spiritual growth,
and it's beautiful. But you know what?
Vishantum
can also mean [laughter] your own
children. Literally your own children.
So like let's not forget about the
literal meaning of the words lean to
your children even though you have many
many spiritual children and you're
accomplishing all that but like what
about your kids?
Manakim MD says are you drinking tea?
Well [sighs and gasps] that is a very
good question. I'm drinking Gatorade,
blue Gatorade, because I'm still
recuperating from the from the fast. But
I know why you're asking me if I'm
drinking tea.
And you must have read a line ahead in
the text because tea, I want to see who
else is on the top of their game. Write
for me in the chat when once you realize
why asked me if I'm drinking tea. What
tea? I'll give you a hint.
tea and the rabbi the rabbi drinking tea
what would that have to do with what I'm
about to read to you okay so let's
continue here
like it's explained also in meaning in
it says that a man is responsible for
teaching his own children
And especially there is a well-known or
publicized
talk from the which begins.
Just like one is obligated to put on
every day, one is obligated to set aside
time to influence his wife and children.
Anyone
get why uh you might make a T reference
right now?
No. Okay. [snorts]
So, I'm going to bring in a little
something else and maybe some someone
will figure out why the T reference was
made. There is uh you know there's a
shar Sunday mornings 10:30 a.m. at the
Soulward's house just a half a block
away from the aisle. We learn
we started this year with paras
we're about to finish
next week
with Hashem's help in the of [snorts]
the Reb speaks about go into the TVA the
tava means the ark but it also means the
words have said also is the meaning of
words of
Hashem tells you go into the ark or the
word you and your wife and your
children. Now I know there's other
places in this where we sort of bash Nak
for only taking care of his family and
not having an effect on the rest of the
generation, but that's not the point in
this.
you go look it up. Um,
[snorts]
and the Reb mentions there that when you
go into the table, when you go and
immerse yourself into the words of
you shouldn't be so immersed that you
only think of yourself. You have to
remember like Noah himself was
commanded, you go in with your wife and
your children. when you immerse yourself
in the words the holy words bring your
wife and children into the holy words as
well and there the rebba tells this
or gives over this uh this concept
that's from the
just like it's an obligation
to put on fill in every day so too it's
an obligation to set aside time for your
wife and children every day
so where's the tea coming from anybody.
Let me look. Let me glance at the chat.
See if anyone figured it out.
Y writes, "The Reba visited his mother
every day and had tea with her." That's
a great guess. The Eb did visit his
mother every day. This is a specific
reference though to one's own household,
one's wife and children.
So,
Dr.
Weiss, Ira Weiss
from Chicago, who was the cardiologist
who was flown out
to take care of the Reb, the emergency
situation that happened
when the Reb had a heart attack
and the Reb insisted that he be treated
in 770.
Dr. Weiss was willing to
conform to those stipulations and they
created a hospital room in the debas
room on Yamiff.
So Dr. The wife became very close with
Bav with the Debb's family
and
he related that the Reba told him
that in spite of all of his many many
duties,
let's set aside
things that we can't even grasp, we
can't wrap our minds around. You know,
we know that Reba is a Ray Mahna, a
shepherd of faith, and he's feeding
every individual Jew with with faith.
But who can even fathom such things?
Let's just talk about the Debb's
schedule and the demands on his time.
Just what we call
even just the things that we know about
that we could quantify. You know, you
can you can look at the Reba's schedule
and see how busy the Reba was. So I'm
not even getting into the spiritual
stuff of how the Reba was spending his
time connecting to every Yid and all
these things that you know it's way
beyond my pay grade. But just looking
how the Reba was so busy the Reba hardly
slept
and uh yet the Reba told Dr. Weiss that
he made a point of having a cup of tea
together with the Rabbitson every day.
And what's more, and I know some
bristle at this, it makes it makes them
nervous.
The Reb didn't say it. That's what Dr.
Weiss says. The Reba said,
the Reb told Dr. Weiss that this cup of
tea every day with the Rebbitson,
it was as important to him as putting on
fillin.
I remember many people saying, "Oh, he
got it wrong. That's not Dr. wife said
that. That's he he misinterpreted it.
That's That's not what the Debbie said.
Well, I don't see why it's so strange.
Oh, Ronda Ferber saying had tea with his
wife. Rhonda, that's right. Hi, Rhonda.
Um,
yes, he had tea with his wife and it was
as important to him as putting on. I
don't know why that's such a stretch,
why that should blow anyone's mind
because the Reb already said it in a
edited
You didn't say the tea part. Okay. You
didn't literally say tea, but that
quoted the Ashab saying that spending
time with your wife and children every
day is compared to the level of
obligation that everyone has to put on
fill in every day.
And in
the Reb says, by the way, why why of all
things? So the says because fillin is
not just an action but it's
subjugation of the heart and the mind.
You have to put your emotions and your
intellect into it. So too when you spend
time with your wife and children it's
not just to yates prefuncter get it done
but you have to put your mind and heart
into it.
That's why it's specifically compared to
fillin. By the way, there are other
reasons that Eba spoke about through the
years why spending time with your family
is compared to
I could cite to you a from Kisliff
[snorts]
of all years.
Anyone recognize that year? Yeah. The
letter that we're reading right now is
from Tshinzion.
So
is like less than three weeks later.
And at the I mean
this is always a day of
at the
in a few weeks after this letter was
written the rabbis spoke about this
concept that the rabb said that spending
time with your wife and children every
day is like the obligation of putting on
fillain.
And why is it compared to fillin?
[sighs]
Because fillin specifically is listen to
this.
Our sages equate putting on fillin with
the observance of the entire Torah.
Fillin is one of those mitzvah that is
so primary
that it has at least from one
perspective a value that is tantamount
to all of the entirety of the rest of
the hookah.
So too says the that's why the compares
spending time with your wife and
children every day to because it also is
and it's not and the says this
specifically you'll look in the the of
the
not like many people think that it's a
modern thing.
They use that word modern as like a you
know a put down dismissively. Ah, you
know, these guys who want to spend time
with their wives and kids. Yeah, they're
a little bit enlightened. You know, they
read some secular books probably made
them think that spending time with their
wives and kids is like important. Yeah.
The devil says, "No, this is not a
secular concept. This is a holy concept.
This is basic Judaism."
>> [cough]
[clears throat]
>> So here the Reb is telling this guy, the
letter writer,
that I want you to be makdish time.
I want you to understand that the time
you spend with your wife and kids is
holy, just as holy as anything else
you're involved in.
And like the Rebab said, it's like
putting on film. I want you to take it
that seriously.
The Reba said to Dr. twice that having
his cup of tea with the Debbitson every
day. He took his seriously as filling.
[sighs]
I remember one guy got so upset when
that video came out. I said, "What was
what's so wrong with it?" He said
because someone's going to see that and
he's going to be in prison and he's
going to have one phone call he can make
before Shia and is he going to ask to
have Tylen brought to him or to have his
wife come to jail and have a cup of tea
with him and he's going to make the
wrong choice. I can't make this up.
Okay. At any rate,
you know, if the if if this information
here were considered to too hot to
handle, then it would have been redacted
like the rest of the letter. You already
see that there's an ellip an ellipsus in
this letter. There were parts of the
letter that were not for public
consumption. Apparently the deba thinks
the public is ready to handle this
concept that that said spending time
with your wife and children every day is
like putting on fill. And by the way in
the version in the hayim there are
different versions of this. The version
of the hayim sounds like it would be
enough to think about how to
deal with the education of your
children. Here um this version it sounds
more like actually spending time with
them. [snorts]
Okay.
Um,
and [laughter]
I don't know how to translate. I mean,
means like the peak, the pinnacle.
Kabad means like the most kabadiest of
the kabads.
The deba would often use this expression
I don't want to say derisively
because that is has cynical connotations
and and the was never cynical shalom but
I think that would use that expression
sometimes to give people much needed
context sometimes when people thought
they were
I I I think I think it's
the the usage of the expression is meant
to temper a certain amount of
self-importance
people who are getting like wrapped up
in their own kite or what they perceive
to be kite.
Um so the Reb says that
you can't
discharge this responsibility
meaning the obligation you have toward
your own family
by getting involved in other stuff
matters of Kabad
the Reb calls it. Um
means at the expense of others which I
believe means your wife and children who
are losing out because you're involved
init activities
and in the end also at your own expense
meaning you're losing out. So that's
important to understand like ultimately
you're also losing out
because I mean I'm I'm filling in a lot
here but you know Shama came to the
world for a for a mission and you may be
doing a lot of terrific things as part
of that mission affecting a lot of
people and doing a lot of holy stuff but
if you're not affecting your own family
you're missing out in like the most
critical serious way meaning the purpose
for which your nishama came to the
Hashem should help you to serve as a
role model in this area. I love how
empowering the deba is. The deb is
taking a guy who's clearly weak in this
area and not just telling him to play
catchup, but that he should become the
the dakaya, the role model, like the
seml, the paragon of this concept. And
I'm sure he did if the Rebbe told him
that was what's expected of him.
So Hashem should help you to become a an
example
for your friends. Your your friends
should learn from you what it means to
spend time with their family.
Lao
and it's understood you shouldn't be
stingy with the time
that you're spending on this
key canal because like I've mentioned
already
let me back up aldishman
through doing this you are sanctifying
time. It has that double meaning.
Setting aside time, but also
sanctifying, making holy the time. So
any time you spend with your wife and
children becomes holy time.
You know there's an expression in
mitzvah mitzvah. The reb adds to it a
little bit.
Kadosha mitzvah
holiness and mitzvah causes more brings
on more
kadusha and mitzvah. So don't be stingy
with setting aside time for your wife
and children because the truth is it's
actually a really smart investment
strategy as far as time management
because the more you do with that with
your wife and children, the more holy
your time will become. The more you're
involved in holy things, the more it
brings on more holy things and it will
actually have a a compounding effect. It
will it will initiate a virtuous circle
where more and more of your time will be
spent effectively on holy things. So
it's actually a very practical strategy.
I await good news in all of what was
discussed.
above.
And that is tonight's letter.
Um,
I'm going to wrap up here.
So, you can leave actually. Good night.
I I have something I'm going to mention
now.
Um, that we we're finished. So, if
you're if you're tuning in every night,
30 letters, 30 days, this is it. Thank
you.
Uh, and someone is writing in the chat.
So, it doesn't need to be tea. It can be
anything. Yeah, it could be Gatorade.
[laughter] I don't even think you need
to have a drink. Don't have to have
drinks.
Um,
I want to mention to you
last night I read from the Ammy letters
volume one from the intro that I wrote
about how
all the methods that I used in that
column in that advice column in Ammy
that people appreciate all those methods
were taken from egress. I learned it
from the Reb's style of how the Reb
answers people.
So here you have another example of it.
how that takes a guy who's clearly weak
in an area because he undervalues that
area and instead of just trying to play
catchup and get the guy
let's call it adequate in that area
actually tells him to become the
vanguard to become the leader
the role model that other people emulate
which is incredible uh not just optimism
But the but the faith that the Reba has
in people that even if they've been
deficient in a certain area, not only
can they catch up, but they can actually
propel themselves way ahead and become
um leaders in that in that area. It's
it's an important thing to think about
the deba's belief in people and their
capacity for growth.
And that's that's one of the that's one
of the things I learned from from the
egress. So many many things that I
learned. Um
I'm starting a course
in a couple of weeks. It's not
officially launched. Registration is not
officially launched. But here's the soft
launch right here because I'm I decided
right before we went live that I'm going
to do something fun.
I'm I I made like a little coupon for
anyone's watching live right now. I made
a course called how to answer any
question including your own. And it's
not what to answer but how to answer.
It's all uh the tricks of the trade of
how to guide people and give them
clarity.
Anyways, it's a it's three nights deep
dive immersive for people who are in a
position to guide others, rabbis,
teachers, coaches, whatever, parents, or
just if you're the person in your friend
group that people come to sort things
out. So, if you go to soulwords.org/how,
soulwords.org/how,
there's the landing page. And right now
for the next hour and 15 minutes,
there's a coupon code that's worth 50%
off. The coupon code is live. [snorts]
Live. That's it. If you're watching live
right now. Now, if you watch the replay
and you get to try this coupon code, it
won't work anymore. But just for fun,
for the hardcore people who actually
watch 30 30 letters in 30 days on the
night of the porm meal and everybody
else uh needs reminders from the Ra to
David Maid. If you're still tuning in,
then I want you to have that coupon. Put
in coupon code live at
soulwords.org/how.
And uh in fact,
if you want to be really generous, you
could send it to your friends who are
not watching live right now, but tell
them that it only works until midnight.
Someone's writing in the chat, "Serious
question, please. What if one spouse is
so lazy that anything and everything,
even it's important and necessary, is a
difficult chore?
I hear your pain.
Obviously, I mean, I'm going to make
some assumptions here, but obviously
that question is being written by
a person who feels that his or her
spouse is
begrudgingly
offering time to the family
or sometimes not offering time at all.
meaning to say I if you're writing the
question I don't think you're the one
who's
holding out on the family. It's that
you're married to someone who you think
is holding out on the family. All I can
tell you is this that free choice means
we have the ability to make our own
choices. It does not mean that we have
the ability to make other people's
choices.
And so we have to accept that that
[clears throat] even when we know the
right thing for someone else to do, we
can't make them do the right thing.
Even when it's so frustrating.
But what we can do is make the the right
choice for ourselves. We can do the
right thing. And we can also trust in
the fact that to some extent when we do
the right thing, it does influence
others. Now you're going to say you're
doing the right thing already and your
spouse is not being influenced.
I'm not so sure about that. Meaning to
say,
however the situation is now, it could
be way worse. And if you're investing
time in the family, this is surely
raising the bar and having a positive
effect better than if,
god forbid, let's say, both parents were
kind of checked out.
So that's what I can tell you. That's
the most that I can tell you
based on that short comment in the chat.
Okay.
Anything else? Oh, interesting comment
here in the chat. Wow, I'm jumping the
gun. But does that mean that women
naturally have an inherent quality
that's hook similar to brisma? I know
it's way off topic. My ad may add ADD
may add ADD adjacent brain.
Okay. Because you're saying that
is is
and women are part from so maybe they
already have something that's
well what I would say is again just
making stuff up. I have no [snorts] idea
if this is true or not. But the Reba
said being invested in the family is
similar to
in as much as it is
tantamount to the entirety of now we
know that one of the explanations at
least for why women in general
why women are
exempted from positive timebound
commandments is because of their
responsibilities bringing children into
the world and raising
So you see right there that
taking care of a family is considered
tantamount to tora.
So you're asking what do women have
that's like men have that's tantamount
to all of the tora and the answer is
it's right there. It's staring you in
the face just like the compared fillin
every day to spending time with your
family every day. Okay. So there you see
that that women even more so because
they are the ones who actually bring the
children into the world and
sorry if anyone's offended and thinks
this is a social construct or this is
the patriarchy but the way that
for time immemorial
healthy happy families successful
families have been women are also the
primary caret caretakers of children.
Yes, that's true. And there's a reason
for that.
And that is we may say
that that is
inspir
which is French for Jewish inspiration
is asking me what time is the course
going to be. Yer, isn't it like 4:00
a.m. in Paris right now? The t the
course is going to be at uh 8:30 to 10.
Oh, you're wondering how it's not going
to conflict with the letters. It's
[laughter] because I'm going to do it
back to back. The the course is going to
be 8:30 to 10 and then at 10 I'm going
to jump over here to the letters. It
might be 10:01.
Okay.
All right. Anything else? This is a nice
little poor fabangan we're having over
here.
Anything else? I'm scanning the uh the
chat right now.
No.
Okay.
Well, it's been a pleasure. We will see
you, God willing, tomorrow night.
for letter number five.