פודקאסט ״השראה״ דוקטור אמיר קוליק | פרק #18

So, welcome to the Inspiration Podcast, and we have a very, very special episode with a very special person who helped me a lot in life, and I always said if there was a fly on the wall in my sessions with him in the room, you would really, really enjoy it. So hello to Dr. Amir Kulick. >> Hello there. >> Dr. Amir Kulick, I’ll tell you in two words so you understand what’s happening here: I went through a difficult period in my life and I felt I needed psychological help, mental health therapy, and I—of course— consulted with many people until someone I really trust told me: " There's a person named Dr. Amir Kulick, " but in the same sentence he said: " There's no chance you'll manage to get an appointment with him, he's very, very busy." I was immediately intrigued , I said: "Wow, I’m looking for this busy person." I sent you a message and you didn't answer me, I sent another message and I was already offended. And we’ll see after the holidays, I said: "Wait, I’m Dudi Kepler, hello!" But that only intrigued me more, and it took time until you graciously cleared some time for me in your schedule. And when we met, I said to you: "Dr. Amir Kulick, tell me, what...why are you so hard to get?" You said a sentence to me that I’ve carried with me ever since; you said: "Dudi, I want to have a positive impact on the world.""True, I will sit with you, I will help you, but today I can dedicate hours of my day to training many, many people to help many , many people in the world, and that is simply much more meaningful for me than sitting with one person." And that was the moment we made peace; I said: "Okay , you have a good excuse." We went through a process that wasn't long. One of the things that was very, very strange to me in the process I went through with you was that things happen very quickly. My belief was that psychological processes take years, maybe decades; people say: "I’ve known my psychologist since I was 17," a 45-year-old with white hair, and it becomes a part of life. And you refute all these things, you are the developer , a developer of the ITT method, which we will soon expand on and understand for a moment what...what is happening here. But something very significant happened to me, where very quickly I no longer needed the therapy, I moved from point A to point B and...I continued to soar forward, and here we are today sitting on the podcast. So first of all , two words so that people can get to know you. Who is Dr. Amir Kulick? How do you introduce yourself? Introduce yourself to us. >> So that’s a slightly complex question because, you know, each of us has many hats and many sides, but if we gathered here to talk about therapy, then...then who am I in this context? I am simply the developer of a method called ITT. It is very effective. I did it after a great many years in the clinic. I have actually been sitting in the clinic for over 20 years, coming from the field. And at a certain stage, I started to notice that there are things that repeat themselves. Oh, there are certain methods I've learned that are excellent, but parts of these methods are less effective in the clinic, and some parts are very, very effective in the clinic. So, slowly, a certain approach actually took shape that is very, very effective, based on the fact that I filtered out what works and what doesn't; I mapped out what works and what doesn't, I understood the structure of problems, how a problem is actually built, and what needs to be done to, let's call it, dismantle the problem. S-so, who am I? I am a sort of therapist on a mission to train therapists to increase good in the world; that is who I am, broadly speaking. I am currently doing this at this stage of life through the ITT method. >> One of the events that left the biggest impression on me was when I arrived at the graduation ceremony for the therapists in the ITT method; of course , there are thousands of graduates. And I came there and was simply shocked. First thing, I took them aside to interview them, and people—simply social workers, rabbis, teachers— people who went through the process. >> We have heads of yeshivas. >> Heads of yeshivas, Hasidim, you know, at the highest levels. >> They speak with confidence and simply say that this is the most significant thing that has happened to them. And I was shocked. And the ceremony itself, the awarding of the certificates, is a very energetic ceremony where people give each other strength. >> Yeah? >> How does a person like you manage, in such a short time—what is the method —to get people who have already learned so much and know so much to leave with such power for the next stage of their lives? >> I have actually gone through two training tracks in my life. The first track was in academia; I have a doctorate in Oriental studies, in Hebrew—meaning a doctorate in Arabic and the Middle East, the language and Arabic dialects, and the history of the Middle East. >> We could continue this podcast in Arabic, basically. >> It's possible, broadly speaking, yes. ...Uh, and I was trained in academia in an academic track, and I studied—I did a doctorate—that's a bachelor's, master's, doctorate, seven years. And there, actually, in this track—let's call it a professional academic training track—it advocates for very many theories, and you finish this track loaded with theories. And when I finished this track and reached the army, I didn't know how to do anything in the field. Meaning, I had plenty of theories, but I had no tools to really understand what to do in intelligence work, what is [Arabic language context] , what is thwarting attacks; I simply didn't know. And then they trained me in the army, and in the army, I was actually introduced to the second training track. The second training track is actually military-style training, which is usually very short training, very intensive, very, very little theory, and a lot of practice. Tons of practice, always practicing. And I, after three or four months in a military training track, went back to my unit and suddenly I knew how to work , I knew intelligence, I knew what to do. So when I, at the time, was offered to do a therapist course, I built it on the military model; meaning, very little theory, a lot of practice, and very intensive—meaning, you practice a lot. And then people come out after a year of studies, they simply come out experts. What do you mean? They aren't theoretical experts, they don't know all the psychological theories, but they are experts at helping people in the field. And then they come out with so much strength, because they know, it’s not just that they know, they’ve witnessed that they can help; so they leave this course full of power , you see? Most people start opening clinics and helping others halfway through the course, so by the end, they are what you’d call "speedy." >> You know, people tell me—someone met me last week and said, "David, I know people much more talented than you in every parameter. The difference between you and them is that they wait until it's perfect, stay home, and do nothing , while you just go out, practice, and put yourself out there." And I really relate to that issue where some people stay in academia, studying and studying and studying, never daring to go outside, and the gap just grows. What happens in the course is that they just start practicing from day one, and apparently, that’s the result. >> Right, right, right, right. >> I can say—I can’t fully disclose why I came to you or reveal all my mental issues, I need to keep some to myself, or people will get scared, so ... >> People will be scared, people will turn off the podcast, unfollow—but I can say there was a lot, I had fears, and these fears left me. And how—what in this method actually works? How—how do you take a person who is afraid of things, who has anxiety about things? >> And very quickly. >> To the level of sessions. >> Yes. >> That’s the first question. Second question. People say that the psychological process is supposed to take years. >> Yes. >> Do you believe this is a focused thing? How does it work? >> First of all, I don't "believe" it’s a focused thing, I know it’s a focused thing. Okay? I have proof, thousands of proofs in the field. >> I remember the point, okay. So, "What do you want to work on now? Okay, finished with that, what's next?" I say , "Hoopa, let's create problems." >> Essentially, let's call it traditional psychology, which deserves all due respect—I really have nothing against any method. Whatever helps people, they should do it. But in traditional psychology, they missed a very essential point. I don't know, regarding fears and many other problems . They missed an essential point, which is that most of our problems aren't related to the intellect, they aren't related to understanding—they are related to sensation. What does that mean? It means that if a person is scared now—let's take public speaking as an example—you can talk to them and explain that it's not scary and it's not a big deal, and even if they make a mistake, it's fine. They will understand it, but still, when they get up to speak in front of a crowd, the fear will rise. Meaning, the fear is irrational. That’s why you can’t solve problems that are irrational using a rational approach. You understand? Now, what I actually do in therapy, and especially in this method, is we work on the sensation, on the sensation of fear. I’m not here to explain to you that you’re okay if you have, say, issues with self-worth. I’m not here to tell you that you’re okay, Dudi, look, you have lots of success, and see, you have tons of followers and such, you know that yourself. I’m actually coming to do, let’s call it, in this method we perform a type of manipulation on the brain's sensation center, and we release the feeling of fear or the feeling of insecurity or the feeling of inferiority. You understand? Now, to release a feeling, because we don’t go through the intellect and we don’t need to persuade or change perceptions now, but rather we just do like, a kind of... >> Conditioning, conditioning. >> A type of conditioning on the brain's sensation center; once you do that, the brain learns not to produce that feeling anymore, and that’s it, and it happens very quickly because the brain knows how to work fast, you understand? That is the difference between working through the intellect versus working through the feeling; they are just two different things, and when working through the feeling, it is simply much faster and more efficient. That’s it. >> It reminds me of a gambler I knew who would burn through hundreds of thousands of shekels a month, and every time I told him, "Listen, let's open the statistics tables and I’ll show you there's no chance you'll win." But he kept going back, back to the same mistake and the same place, and I don't want to tell you where he is today—on the street. And then someone, and then someone said to me, "Dudi, he acts from his emotions, he doesn't act from his brain." Right, right. And essentially, if he had come to an ITT therapist, we wouldn't work with him through the intellect, showing him statistics or explaining to him that it won't work— he knows that. But when a certain trigger comes up now, some kind of stimulus, the urge comes up to gamble —then we would actually release that urge for him, you understand? And then, when the trigger would come up, it wouldn't bother him, because there is no urge anymore. That is essentially the difference, and that's why it is much faster. >> Maybe that’s why you call it "The Direct Center," because it’s directly to—I was thinking about... >> Directly to the sensations, without... >> Without the fluff around it, yes, around it. You know, I see this—this combination: on one hand, it’s a contrast—you’re a person who doesn't wear a kippah, and on the other hand, your students in the "Direct Center" courses are ultra-Orthodox, really ultra-Orthodox, on the level of sons of Admorim and, how do they say, the cream of the crop of the Haredi sector, and they constantly, uh, tell you that they feel you have brought them closer to God. Have you noticed these, these words? I, I feel these subtleties. >> I said, wow, it’s like they feel you are the figure that simply allowed them to draw closer to God. How do you see that? Closeness to God, the way I see it, doesn't depend on your teacher or what I did or told them, but rather on what happens throughout the courses; they practice a lot on each other. That’s actually one of the strengths of the course—it’s the practice, they are always practicing. Now, when a person has all kinds of fears and throughout the course he releases them, then he is much more available for the service of God; he is simply much more available for learning. >> His energy bank has more battery, right ? >> We basically have an energy leak. >> True, true, true, true, yes. If 20%of your energy is currently going into fears and what people will say about me , >> then you have 20%less energy to invest, for example, in things that are more important: serving God. If someone is much calmer now because they don't feel stupid or weird, they can sit down and study what they want to study and they're available for it, so they accomplish much more. They enjoy it, they enjoy studying, so maybe they do it more, you understand? That's, that's actually the point—removing the blocks, and then the diamond already shines from within. >> How can it be that people told me they came to learn how to treat others and found themselves being treated? He tells me, "Listen, I came to treat others and I learned tools, but something changed for me in my actual life." What? Is there a connection between being a patient and a therapist ? >> Yes, there is a close connection. First of all, a good therapist is a good patient. And if you are a good patient, you are also a good therapist. If I need to, yes. >> Yes, certainly. So, in the training process, for every technique we learn —and we learn a great many techniques —I believe that to be a good therapist, one must be a good patient. Meaning, in the training process, as soon as we learn a certain technique, the students must practice it on themselves; that is, one practices on the other. And then naturally, even if it didn't solve it 100%for you, but it lowered 20%or 30%of the fear or the urge or the impulse, and another one another 5%, and another one another 10% , then after three or four practice sessions you are already much cleaner, so you become a better person. Simply that's all. Let's go back a moment: when did you start these workshops? Which workshop are we in now? What number? >> We are now, God willing, starting course number 20. >> Number 20. >> Yes. >> That means how many students, male and female, do you think have passed through your doors? >> Over 2,000. >> Over 2,000 students. >> Who are currently, many of whom are working in the field, right? >> Yes, they are working in the field because they truly come out with a great deal of practical experience. >> Yes. >> Who is this suitable for? What style of people? I will refine the question: what style of people can ITT therapy help in general, and what style of people might it be suitable for to become an ITT therapist? First of all, ultimately, what style of people can ITT help? At the end of the day, people have the same mechanisms. It doesn't matter what you call a person's style. Ultimately, fear is built the same way in everyone. The area in the brain that produces fear is the same area in you, in me, and in any random person on the street. It makes no difference. Do you understand? Self-image is the same thing. It’s the same mechanisms in you, in me, and in any other person. So who can to whom? Why can I go to therapy? Or for what kind of person is therapy suitable? For everyone. Because there is a belief that you only go to therapy if you've reached an extreme situation. But slowly, the world is realizing that's not the case. It's much earlier than that. True. >> True. In the past, it really was like that. When I was a kid, if we heard someone was going to therapy or a psychologist, we'd say, "Wow, that’s messed up." Like, he's going... >> Mentally ill. >> Mentally ill. Exactly. That’s how it was back then. And today, as the world develops and progresses, and the world of therapy and help grows, we understand—why wait? Why wait until you're in distress to go to therapy? There are so many options. And if your car has a small breakdown now, you don't wait for it to fall apart, right? You hear a rattle, you go to the garage , so it’s the same thing. Today we're in a situation where if something isn't quite right, just stop for a second, take two or three sessions with a coach , a therapist, or someone you trust, fix that thing, and move on with your life. Why wait until you need two years of therapy later? Why wait for a nervous breakdown or depression? Exactly. And there are many options, and it’s completely fine. It’s good that we live in a time where there is plenty of help and it’s okay. So, for whom is it suitable to be a patient? Basically, Dudi, you’re saying almost everyone. >> True. >> And even if you have that concept of " depart from evil and do good," you might not be suffering that much, but you aren't reaching your full potential , so therapy that gives you new energy can help. Who is suitable to be a therapist? >> Who is suitable to be a therapist? >> For whom could learning this therapy provide strength? >> Ah, for anyone who wants to help people , yes. Because this method is very simple, I build the training from scratch. So anyone with motivation who wants to help people just comes and learns. And then you can find in one class guys who have no background in mental health or emotional therapy. And also... >> We even had a doctor there. >> True. True. >> A doctor. >> We had a department head. >> A department head who came. And on the other hand, a rabbi. >> On the other hand, a rabbi. On the other hand, all sorts of yeshiva students who want to enter the field and social workers—we have the whole range. Because in the end, it doesn't matter where you come from; we build the training from scratch. You’re simply coming to learn a method. Afterward, if you have other methods you want to combine, go ahead, but even if you don't have any prior method, you can work only with ITT, so you just need the desire. >> I know, Dr. Amir Koller, that you’ve been through a lot in life, not just in Israel but around the world, and you’ve gathered a lot of knowledge that ultimately became ITT, yes. >> Tell me a little about the places you’ve traveled to in the world and what you learned. >> I am a student; I just love to learn. One of my hobbies is learning. I think I’ve spent hundreds of thousands of shekels, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars. >> Wow. >> On studies. >> In Israel or abroad? >> Both. >> Wow. >> I think I learned almost everything possible in Israel, at least everything that interested me. I studied. In Israel, I started learning NLP. I also learned everything related to energy. I learned it from several NLP teachers in Israel. Later, I went to study with Richard Bandler in London to learn NLP from him. Over there in London, they teach NLP and hypnosis together. So I learned that too; I learned emotional training, I learned coaching, I learned EFT if you're familiar with it, which is a tapping method to release all sorts of things. I studied trauma recovery, >> I studied many eye movement methods, eye movement therapy. People know EMDR, but there are many, many other methods that use the eyes to release sensations and all sorts of other things. I learned those too, and basically, I also studied online; I learned from teachers in Canada, I learned from... ...Steve Andreas, and from many, many other teachers. And from every teacher, I really like to apply things; I’m also good at applying them, so when I learn something, I immediately bring it into the clinic and start testing: does it work, does it not work, does it work , does it not work, does it work, I don't know, no. And over the years, I actually saw—let’s put aside NLP, again, due respect to it, I even spent a few years teaching NLP at Broshim College, which was a large college at Tel Aviv University back then, I taught NLP there for a few years. And no matter what method it is, you see that there are methods, or most methods, let’s say 20-30%works amazingly, and 60-70%, sometimes more, sometimes less, doesn't work, meaning it’s less effective in the clinic. So what happened over the years is: what didn’t work I put aside, and what did work I brought into the clinic more and more, and then a toolbox developed that combines very many methods. A very, very effective toolbox, because I know it works in the clinic, I see that it works, and that’s basically the toolbox I teach in the course. So from all those 15 years of study, I distilled the best, and I only teach what truly works in the course. >> I know it’s also very measurable. That means there are people who started learning or started treating. One of the most important things is to know if a person is on the right track. How do you measure that they are progressing? Right. This is something that at your ITT, the subject of measurement is very , very significant. >> Yes. True. Measurement. Ultimately, we, ITT, it’s a method that is change-oriented. In general, all psychotherapy or all methods, in my eyes, must first of all—their logic, their right to exist—is that they lead a person to change, help them make a change. Now, if with a certain method things don’t move and nothing changes , then, why do it? So I arrived with a very practical approach from the army; the army is very measurable, right? If you need to put a missile through a window right now, you can’t be "close ," it’s not "more or less," it has to be exactly right. I came with that approach, and I teach patients—well, the new therapists—how to take measurements for change. At the start of a session, we take measurements, we check—it's called "change metrics"— and at the end of the session, we measure how much things have changed. And at the next session, we start with metrics again: What happened this week and how much has it changed? And it’s really at the level of giving grades and numbers to certain things, really to measure them—first, to see that the person is truly, and we are truly, on the right track and managing to help them make a change; and second, when the person...I believe change is a bit like justice, right? Justice must not only be done, but also seen to be done. >> Right. >> And change also must not only be done but also seen, meaning the patient should also see, know, and feel that a change took place, so we take metrics related to the intellect and metrics related to the feeling, so the patient knows, sees, and feels that a change occurred, really at a numerical level. And if there is no change after one, two, three, four sessions, and there's no change, let go—release the patient . If you didn't succeed, perhaps they will succeed more elsewhere. >> I remember that with me too, you told me, "Let’s create a vision, write down what you want to achieve." By the way, I’m very eager to open that up soon because I think I can make a lot of changes there. >> True, you'll discover you already need a new one. Probably a new one, a new year. Give us some actual examples from the life of the course and the therapy; who did it help, how did they come, and what happened with them? These must be the medals hanging on your soul. >> There are two examples, the two extremes: on one hand, this Friday I got a message from a clinical social worker (with a master's degree). Today we are opening, God willing, the second-year studies, and he wanted to join. He was a student in one of the first cohorts, and he tells me: "Amir, I want to join the second year because what I discovered is that of everything I’ve learned, in the end, what I use in the clinic are the ITT tools, so if you can help me join the second year." If we look at an example from a more feminine field, several doulas—birth companions—went through our program; they basically know the professional side, but they lack tools on how to calm fears, how to lower stress—say, before birth—how to release fears. So I think at least two or three doulas that I remember went through the recent courses and just came to get tools to be better at their profession. So it can be suitable for this, and for that, and for that. >> What does this course look like? How long does it take? What do you do there ? You learn how to do good for people. A lot of—a lot of dynamics between the people; right, lasting friendships are also formed there, friendships, yes . >> And mutual aid. >> Yes, yes, because the course is very, very connective, because ultimately the students are constantly treating each other. How does the course look? Well, there are four-hour study sessions, and every session is always... >> It’s not on Zoom. >> It’s not on Zoom, it’s face-to-face . >> We like the personal touch. >> You mean face-to-face, like people actually sitting there. >> Yes. So, I always teach some kind of theory, half an hour to an hour of theory, and then I always demonstrate a tool. For example, if we are going to learn about fears, then I explain the mechanisms of fear in the brain. What produces fears, why are they created? About an hour, and then I demonstrate a tool or two for releasing fears, and then they go to practice it—sometimes in class and often at home. They simply practice: the students practice releasing fears on each other, and then connections are truly formed between them, there is closeness, one releases for the other. And after another lesson , once again, oh, now we are working, let's say, on self-worth, or on something related to compulsions, or on something related to perceptions. And that way, essentially, you go on a whole journey with one another—both an internal journey and a journey of becoming a therapist and improving in therapy. I remember when I came to you for sessions, one day someone called you right in the middle of a panic attack, you said "Dudi, sorry, this is important," for five minutes you did some process and they came out of it. >> Yes. >> I know we aren't in a therapy room, but can you throw out a specific tip for people dealing with fears who are watching this now, to give them? >> First of all, yes, I remember that. They call me from time to time with all kinds of attacks and such, and the tools we teach in the course are very, very simple. Often they can be communicated over the phone and then a person simply calms down. They can also be learned, and in the course, they also get a toolkit so they can teach their patients. The students will be able to teach their patients. I strongly believe in that. I very, very much believe that a therapist doesn't just treat and solve some problem, helping a person solve a problem, but also needs to teach the patient tools so they can help themselves, so they won't be dependent on the therapist, so they can, uh, as you saw, do a quick thing like take a few breaths or eye movements—I'll give a tip like that in a moment—and move on with life. And that, I believe strongly in empowering the patient. Ah. Look, basically, basically, sit up straight, you are about to get gold now that could serve you, God willing, later in life for you or your family. >> Basically, in a panic attack or if there is some unpleasant feeling. >> People think they are going to die. >> Yes, so first of all, if you feel like you are going to die, go to the emergency room, okay? We don't mess with that. But if you know that you are not going to, you don't need the ER and you feel, say, that it is just some kind of panic attack or just an unpleasant feeling. Two things that are very easy to do when you aren't feeling well or are having some kind of attack. First thing, uh, breathe. Now, most people when they are having an attack take a deep breath, but it's actually a chest breath. They inflate their chest. Now, what happens in such a state is that carbon dioxide remains in the lower two-thirds of the lungs. They are basically forcing air in, but the air isn't actually getting in. And then that increases the feeling of suffocation and distress. So one of the coolest things to do and to notice, instead of—if you're in distress now and you don't feel well and you have no air—instead of the instinct to take air in, let air out. Meaning, just exhale all the air. Like this, no. Let it out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, all of the air. Wait a second and then release, and then it already refills on its own. Do you understand? >> Basically, don't be busy with taking air in, but be busy with letting it out because then it will go in. >> Exactly, exactly. You're ex-letting it out, out, out, out, letting it all, all , all, all out. Waiting a second without air and then relaxing because of the pressure difference. Ah, it refills with air. And then the second thing you can do is start moving your eyes. Why move the eyes? There is very complex neurology behind this, but broadly, our eyes are directly connected to the sensory center in the brain, so after you've let the air out, just start moving your eyes right, left , okay, right, left, or in Xs, but the easiest is right, left, trying to see your right ear, left ear, 20 times, just moving the eyes and then taking a deep breath again. >> Wow. >> Releasing, you do this a few times, a few rounds of eye movements, breath, eye movements, breath, two or three rounds, the feeling subsides. >> Wow. >> Yes, try it. >> You need to sit for a moment, please, to. You understand, so you were in the army. >> Yes. >> And in the army, there's no connection to therapy. >> Right. >> What? >> Therapists, but usually. >> You, at the age—if I had approached Amir at age 12, 13, 14, 17, and I told him he would train therapists. >> Yes. >> What would you say to me? >> No way. >> No way, no connection, irrelevant. >> When did it happen? How, how did it happen? When did you realize this was your world? >> I was in the army for many years, I was in the army out of a sense of mission, like I wanted to contribute to the people of Israel, contribute to security, and I did it for many years. At some stage, I started to feel that it just wasn't it anymore. Like I had exhausted it, I had done it all, I felt like it was already repeating itself, I wasn't developing in the field anymore, and being an officer at a higher rank, higher, higher, didn't speak to me. Not the money and not the prestige. So at some point, towards age 35, 36, I was discharged, and all sorts of problems started for me. Today I understand that it was related to the stress I had in the army—all sorts of problems both emotionally and physically. And I went to some alternative therapist, and wow, it was resolved in two or three meetings. I said: "Wow, that's weird, how can that be?" Also, you know, I thought psychological therapy is long, it's many years. I said: "Wow, there's something interesting here." So, in parallel, I also started studying therapy out of personal curiosity; at the same time, I was working on my doctorate, teaching at the university, and doing other things in the security field, but slowly, very quietly, this field of therapy began to grow. At some point, it really hooked me, the fact that I loved helping people, and the rest is history. I simply started, you know, learning to treat, studying to treat, learning to treat, and it grew into a kind of huge project. >> Do you remember a patient entering your clinic and you say, "Wow, wow, with him I'm not...I'm not dealing"? Do things like that happen? >> Oh, no, I don't think it has happened that I said, "With him, I'm not dealing ," but it can certainly happen, and it happened to me a lot throughout my career that after two or three sessions , things weren't moving, or the patient wasn't doing what I told him, or he came to fight with me, or he was extremely resistant. And sometimes you need to be humble and say, "Listen, I'm sorry, I can't help you." >> Meaning, a therapist who isn't clicking with someone can say, "It's not working for me."" >> Listen, I apologize." We are human beings, after all, and there is only one perfect being, and that is the Holy One, blessed be He, and we are not perfect. And it's okay to say to a patient, "Listen, I'm sorry, this is probably not the way, something between us isn't working, and I recommend you maybe try such and such." It has happened to me many times to recommend to patients to do other things. Yes. >> One of the things I'm interested in talking to you about is the subject of nutrition. Although that is not the goal of our conversation, there is much to learn from you; I remember that... The second time I saw how many dates there are in the world was in Morocco two weeks ago, but the previous time I realized how many dates there are in the world was when you asked me if I wanted a date. You invest a lot in nutrition, right? You don't eat meat. >> No. >> You haven't eaten meat for some years? >> Since I was 18. I'm 56, I think, so many years. >> And you eat...what do you call the diet you eat? >> I am a vegan today, a vegan... >> A vegan. A vegan to the point that you don't even have leather shoes? >> No, I'm less strict about that, because for me, morality is secondary. I am a vegan mainly for health reasons, both health and a bit spiritual. >> You know, that is something you should also really bring into the Haredi sector, because the Haredi sector has many advantages. For instance, in the connection to God, they have much to teach about setting boundaries, being devoted family people; there are many things Haredim can teach, but as far as nutrition goes, we were simply not taught, and there is even an atmosphere that if you look after your health, you are...You're a sucker; it's just like we forgot that. I am now making this transition from being a kid to being an adult. I'm not there yet, I'm 37, but still, suddenly the body isn't what it used to be. >> Right? >> And this is one of the things that really preoccupies me: how I actually maintain this machine that needs to support all my desires and all the... Your tip regarding nutrition: where to start, what not to do? There is so much . Broadly speaking, the main thing that influences...What affects our body first and foremost is stress. >> Wow. Before food. >> Before food. First and foremost, stress . >> Wow. >> If you eat healthy but you’re under stress, there’s a very good chance you’ll still get sick. >> So the first thing is not to eat while stressed, not to eat out of stress, and in general to reduce stress levels in your daily life. Meaning, always integrate activities that lower stress levels. >> For example. >> For example: waking up in the morning, taking 10 deep breaths. Going to sleep at night, before you sleep, before you go to bed, again, do some kind of one-minute breathing technique, you don't need more. Write down, for instance, things you're thankful for, gratitude. Right, what is gratitude? It's gratitude, right? Meaning, the moment you are grateful for something, you acknowledge the splendor of the Creator, so you are also connected to Him and you also have good feelings. So write down again, say, five good things or things you’re grateful for that happened today. Already you go to sleep calmly and wake up calmly. Already you are healthier. Before we talk about cutting out oil, flour, and sugar. >> Again, it goes back to the soul. >> Yes. It starts with the soul, first and foremost, health. So now we can talk about many things. You can cut out refined oils, you can cut out white sugar, you can cut out flour, and you can simply bring in more fruits and vegetables. You understand? One could talk about what is forbidden, but I actually prefer focusing on doing good; that is, simply eat more fruits and vegetables, you’ll have less room for the less healthy things, and also you’ll feel good because if you eat, I don't know, a few fruits, maybe bananas, you get energy, so great, you’ve gained, you understand? So, what to do, eat lots of fruits and vegetables. >> Broadly speaking. >> Do you sleep many hours at night? >> I sleep as much as the body needs. I try to go to sleep early. I usually don't set an alarm if I don't have to wake up very early. So I go to sleep early and I let the body wake up. If it wakes up at five, at four, at six, whenever it wakes up, I get up. I trust the body because, in my view, there is divine wisdom in the body, so the body knows what is good for it. So if you go to sleep at 10 and wake up at six, that’s even better. So you started at three. If you go to sleep at 10, woke up at five, then okay, you started at five. The body is smart, it knows. That’s it, there is divine wisdom, so let's let this wisdom work. You’ve met many therapists, you’ve trained many therapists, what in your opinion makes a therapist go from regular to successful? >> If they are an RTT therapist, they are probably successful. >> Within RTT therapy, there are degrees. >> What makes a good therapist a really, really good or really, really successful one? Their self-confidence, their belief in their ability to help people, and their belief in the method. Again, assuming the method is good and effective—though I don't assume everyone works with effective methods —are you confident in your ability to help others? And are you confident in the method? Once you have that confidence, it happens. If you don't have that confidence, it doesn't matter how much you advertise or how great you say you are, it won't work. You have confidence, it will work. >> I've seen that you even send a lot of patients to therapists you've trained, >> right? >> That's amazing. I mean, when I came, you told me, "Dudi, take this phone number, there's this and that." I was stubborn because I'm stubborn, but you're actually passing patients who come to you to them. >> Right. >> How do you choose the therapists you refer them to? >> First of all, I love all my students; I truly love them. Uh. Therapists I trust —those I see in our therapists 'forum (we have a therapists' forum), I see they are active, therapists I know are good. Sometimes when therapists call and consult with me, and through what they ask and our interaction, I understand their professionalism, so I try to refer to therapists I truly, truly trust, and there are quite a few of those. >> I want to talk for a second about the graduation ceremony, about that point —let's look at it for a moment, I'll let you see this vibe that's happening in the world. And basically, rabbis, righteous men, and brilliant people are learning things they, in my opinion, will never see in their lives. What is this thing? And how do you get them to do it? If I reveal that to you now, then anyone who comes to the course will lose the surprise. >> They'll lose the surprise, right. >> Uh. Basically, at the end of the course , we give everyone a gift. Meaning, we create a certain process to generate a very powerful experience so that everyone can take that experience with them. And when they close their eyes to remember at the end of the course how everyone clapped for them, they suddenly connect to some inner strength they have, they remember how amazing they are. And then think that as a therapist, or when you come to lecture in front of an audience, you close your eyes for a moment and remember how everyone clapped for you and the madness—suddenly you're filled with a smile, with strength, and that's a kind of gift you give to others. In the end, this ceremony is actually a gift to the graduates. So when they tell you, people who come to the therapy course are people who love to help, and when you tell them: "Listen, let's help your friends connect to some power, to receive a lifelong gift," they are happy to do it. So that's why rabbis, supervisors, heads of yeshivas, and simple scholars—everyone will stand and clap and send that person out with tons of energy, because they just want to give them a gift. >> It creates so much unconditional love and support there. Basically, it's not thousands of therapists competing with one another. It's a community that has come to help make the world a much better place. There are over 1,000 male therapists who have been trained and there are also over 1,000 female therapists who have been trained. And in the Haredi world, female therapists are for female patients and male therapists for male patients. Do you see a difference between male therapists who finish the course and practice the IT method versus female therapists, or is it simply the same and it depends on personality? I see a difference during the course in the, let's call it, learning ability; people are simply much better students. >> Better? >> Yes, they just know how to learn, they come from... >> They also have higher emotional intelligence, right? >> I don't know, I don't know, but I do know that they know how to learn. Meaning, they are very organized, they submit homework properly, you have to chase them less—good students. We even have school principals who come, so that’s really a celebration. >> You know, one of the things that made me really excited was when I saw the therapists who graduated from there, and they tell me about entire circles that the course helped first—their wife, their children—and suddenly I thought about the patients. After all, every patient has a world, a whole world around them. Right, the impact is very, very significant. Right, right. >> So basically, you, as Amir Kulik, Dr. Amir Kulik, how does it become...Your method is already touching hundreds of thousands of people, >> Right? >> In more distant circles. >> Right. >> It's a sacred dread, isn't it? >> I feel like I'm just a vessel. >> A vessel. >> A vessel. Knowledge passes through me; I am not allowed to keep it to myself. And if I have new insights or things, I immediately put them into the course, or now there are tons of insights, so I'm opening a second year. I don't look at it as Amir Kulik touching things and doing a lot; I was simply a conduit, I am still a conduit for knowledge that descends from above. Uh, I pass it on, that's it. >> I want to say something from the heart here, because when I look back at my life, I recognize periods where I was a detriment to the world, I influenced the world negatively. >> Yes. >> And I know periods of mine where I slept and slumbered and didn't do anything, and I know periods now where I do, I do a lot of good in the world. The same person, the same character, nothing changed, and it just tells me that people need to be awakened. Wake up, wake up, life, life is short. You too, my brother, we'll meet in 20 years , you'll already be with a grandfather's cane. Like, I want to shake people up from my life experience , not to give up. Every day that passes is, it's... >> Right. And one of the, and when you talk about awakening—it's basically, if we call it awakening the powers of the soul, it is basically removing the barriers, the fears, the anxieties, the obstacles that prevent us from actually realizing ourselves, from doing what we came to do in this world, this mission. So, in your periods, when you were less active and maybe even caused harm, it's simply because very many barriers there prevented these powers that you have here now today; they were there then too, they were just deep inside, buried under layers of fears, anxieties, and all sorts of urgencies. >> And since today it is possible to go to therapy and it is possible to remove these barriers, then it is the duty of everyone to do it, because it is part of our mission in the world to realize what we came here to do. So when you go to therapy, release another fear, release another thing, release another block, and then you can realize yourself, then you truly fulfill the role for which you came into the world. >> And it propels itself, meaning success chases success, and suddenly, like a flower. >> True. >> All the powers within you can come out, but it's not certain they will; one must remember that. A person has the choice. Here you are hearing this conversation, you have two options: either say in your head "meh, okay," or take responsibility and say "I’m taking a step." The Creator makes it so —the very fact that a person hears this conversation means the Creator arranged it for him. >> True. >> True, now what to do with it? There are people. >> Your choice. >> It's your choice; you can't force a person by grabbing him by the ear. >> True. >> You can tell him, you can help him get there. >> Open the door. >> He can go through, he can not. >> True. And I personally think, even though I'm small and truly a person who doesn't understand much, but I think that a person who feels a bit stuck and blocked and has potential—and forgive me for saying this, every Jew has a lot of potential, every Jew has their own melody—so even if you are blocked and you are still down and not yet at the stage of influencing, such a course can ...it's two stories in one go. >> Absolutely. >> You will come, and while treating yourself, you will treat your close environment, and suddenly, without noticing, you will understand how you are setting out on a path of. >> True. >> Sweeping people toward the good, completely accurate. You are essentially getting tools, going through a personal process, getting tools to help others, and also, let's call it, in the course we push you here to help others, so you actually acquire this skill. Yes. >> Once you taste the flavor of helping others, there is nothing sweeter than that. Including the dates of Mr. Dr. Amir Koli, and they were delicious. >> The taste that I have today, I tell you , today I have all sorts of victory moments in my daily life. A victory moment is earning money. That's a victory moment. A victory moment is being close to some singer. But the moments that cause me true excitement are moments when a person simply approaches me and says "Do you know what change you made in my life?" >> True, true, absolutely, and being a therapist is choosing a path where you are constantly living, helping people is. >> It is also, by the way, a very good livelihood when you help people. >> True, that when you help people, then even the money is good money, money that has a blessing in it. >> Already with blessing and also, thank God, true, everyone wins. >> Everyone wins. >> We also love to hear stories from inside the clinic. Give me some other interesting story about a patient. A patient who underwent some kind of change. >> I will give you two stories. One of mine and one from a therapist I trained , whom I spoke to last week. So let’s start with the story. Story one. A patient came to me last week. A man of many deeds. As soon as he sat in the chair, he started telling me about his achievements. He wrote this, and he wrote that, and he has an endorsement from that Rabbi, and Kanievsky mentioned him regarding this, and he is this and that and the other. And I listened, I'm listening, listening, listening. I gave him a quarter of an hour to talk—that’s a lot. And then I asked him: But why are you actually here? Right, if you’re so great and strong and talented and an educator, then why are you here? So I had, okay, all of that is well and good, but he tells me: I feel like a zero, no matter what I do. >> Wow. >> I feel like a small person. >> Wow. >> Completely worthless. >> Wow. >> That’s how he spoke to me, here, there’s a lot to talk about regarding this. >> Wow. >> He told me I've been to so many therapists, he says to me, I'll tell you a secret, I came here to test the method, I don't believe this can really help me. >> Wow. >> I told him let's make the effort, let's give it our 100%, the rest is in the hands of Heaven, let's try. He says, " Okay." And I explained to him what I explained to you about the difference between working through the intellect and working through the feeling. This man knows he is smart, he knows he is great in Torah, he knows everything, and all the methods he tried, they tried to convince him that he is good, that he is okay and—His problem was not an intellectual problem. He is a smart person. His problem was a problem of feeling. He feels inferior, he feels like a zero, he feels unworthy. We did some process, not even a long one. And at the end of the process, he simply couldn't connect to that feeling of being a zero and unworthy, and he tried hard and couldn't, and I say, please try harder. He tries and he thinks and he remembers, and there is no feeling. >> Wow. >> He says, listen, I can't believe it. He says, it can't be that something I suffered from for 40 years just disappeared like that. >> Wow. >> So it can't be. >> Wow. I told him, you labored and found, >> believe it, >> believe it. >> Wow. >> So that is one story, fresh from the clinic. And a second story, a therapist I trained just from the last course. She tells me about a couple that came to her, where the woman grew up in a very difficult home. Very, very critical parents, she experienced violence, and she can't feel love. She doesn't feel loved. And she says: I am not loved. And no matter what her husband does, she can't feel that he loves her. And they were really on the verge of divorce because—She felt unloved, and the therapist worked with her. She actually changed her belief that she is unloved and the feeling that she is unloved; it’s both a certain belief, what a person believes, and also what they feel. She changed her perception that she is unloved and the feeling that she is unloved. And then she tells me, this therapist calls , she says, she called me and she says: I, I can't believe it, how can this be? Suddenly my husband does things and I'm happy about it, suddenly my husband does things, tells me things and I agree to accept the compliment, suddenly I feel connected to him. >> Wow. >> It's not some years-long process. >> Wow. >> Yes, it's, it's saving souls, it's holy work, wow. What would you like a person to take away from this conversation? >> Ah, one sentence: that everything is changeable, change is possible, and everything is changeable. >> I'll explain to you why, this is my philosophy, really, at the core. Don't tell anyone. My real philosophy, the principle that guides me, is the understanding that in the world of the Holy One, Blessed be He, everything is changeable. I'll give you an example. If you look, there is sea and there is land, right? There is day and there is night, there is male and there is female, there is a problem and there is a solution. Meaning, every problem has a solution. It could be that we as therapists will provide it, it could be that someone else will provide it, but somewhere the Holy One, Blessed be He, created the solution for this thing. You just need to go through therapists, and in the end, find it. So my true philosophy, the principle that guides me in everything, is that it's solvable . Everything can be changed, you just need to find the key that will cause this change. >> And take responsibility when people come to me and tell me there's no chance, that is exactly why I think I went through all that great difficulty, to look them in the eyes and say: don't play games with me, move forward. >> Exactly. >> Take responsibility, make the effort, the rest is in the hands of Heaven. >> Doctor Amir Kulick, I have a great urge to join one of your courses, I envy the people who go through it. I had envy in my eyes for those I interviewed, and I wish you many years of continuing to be strong and healthy in order to make the world in general better, and especially our sector, which is simply thirsty for people who will take care of one another. >> Save a spot for yourself in the course. No problem. >> Save one for me. Thank you very much. >> Thank you very much. Yes.