The Secret to Shalom Bayit | Rabbi Yosef Benyaminov

There's a famous uh statement out there. A man who apologizes when he knows he was wrong, that's a >> [music] >> honest man. A man who apologizes not knowing he's wrong, he might be right or he might be wrong, he's not sure, but just in case he apologizes, >> [music] >> that's a wise man. But a man who apologizes knowing that he was right, that's a husband. >> [music] >> This parsha Parashat Bereishit speaks about marriage, the first marriage in in the whole world between Adam and Hava. And [music] really, without any jokes, if you look at the Torah, it says that it was actually Adam's fault. Why? Because [music] Adam was lonely, and Hashem brought all animals to see if he'll find a match, and na- nothing seemed to work. Then he created a Hava, he made her out of his side, whatever that means, and what we find, Adam didn't communicate the message correctly. He said, "Don't >> [music] >> eat from the tree, we're not allowed to eat it, and even we're not allowed to touch." He was adding on his own. God only said don't eat, he didn't say don't touch the tree. But [music] Adam added on his own to take extra precaution. However, he should [music] explain that. He didn't, it's his fault. And after that, when the whole thing happened with the snake, [music] they both sinned. Hashem said, "Why did you do that?" He was trying to get him to confess. >> [music] >> And what Adam do? He says, "It's the the woman's fault. She gave it to me and I ate." >> [music] >> I say to say he was kaf v'tov, he was an ingrate. He didn't appreciate what God did for him. God brought this woman to be with him in [music] order to be his ezer k'negdo, to be his support, uh and you know, to feel companionship and love, and yet he said it's her fault. I say just tell us that the most important thing in shalom [music] bayit is is love and peace to bring the shalom bayit to the home because the word ish has a yud alef yud shin >> [music] >> and what ishah woman is ishah alef shin and hey and the yud of the man and the hey of the woman is what the God's name. If there's peace between them then there's God's presence. If there's no peace, it turns into aish. Both words spell aish. Without you the name means fire. They're just fighting all the time. How do you stop that fire? By appreciating each other, by giving to each other. Don't worry about what they're doing for me. Worry about what what are you doing for them? And that's how you bring God's presence into your family, into your home.