Don’t Listen to My Words; Listen to My Inner Cry

the yeshiva.net [Music] we're holding daf dallad column 2 ahmed bayes or page 107. on top it says in the middle of the meticulou in the middle of the miami middle of chapter two second column on undollard around 12 uh one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen around fourteen lines from the bottom line begins so after everything that we explained the miami explained at length she continues this also explains the nusa the text of davening that we say in shma nasra and in the silicas forgive us our father because we said ostensibly this language this phrase is not to be unders is difficult to understand it's a name what's the meaning of slither is that the reason why one should forgive baha'u'llah the word key has different meanings but generally the word key is used because since since this because this of this therefore this so it's strange you should forgive us because we sinned it's almost like because we sinned that's that's why you should forgive us he says the language should have been clear slack on the fact that we sent right the forgiveness is because you want to forgive me because you like me because you remember the good old days because you have a soft spot for me in your heart because you don't want to cancel out all the good things you know you're not part of woke of cancelling everything right also yeah right but still the word key is is uh is difficult here it sounds like almost like because we sin therefore you forgive despite the fact that we sin better better to sit here because the um so it's like right but he doesn't mean when the word is representing something since if there wouldn't be kikatano but because there was katano therefore what i'm asking for what we're asking for is it should be slach in other words based on what explained what what the miami explained earlier since katana the word khatanum means sinned but the real the real the the church of the word is something missing for example um comes to david and says we're going to be missing right it says about uh shawl shooting arrows kaileya la saera and he was always on target kalei al-assad literally on target he didn't he didn't miss didn't miss a beat because the word hate essentially in russian there's a void there's something missing so that's what he says because there was khatano there was a sarin there's a void ah yeah what's the void she said the void here is the stars the flow of the early scythe of the infinite light in the mitzvas and the toyota which was missing that's why this is true so therefore what we're asking for is lachlan to arouse to trigger the source of compassion the source of forgiveness what do we mean the source the heinously the revelation of the desire the will the raw desire the supernal will which transcends completely from my lamy transcends completely cedar establish the structural flow of evolution from the higher to the lower through which direction flows through usually through turner mitras in order to fill to fill all the the strainers all the time of the voids vasel that desire departed so to speak through the head through the oven through the mistakes with the betrayal through the transgressions how is it coming back allah the restoration of will and forgiveness comes this is an expression from zoya means rotsen in aramaic rava means desire river the horizon means the ratson behind all the red sinus river the world the arriving behind all the wills in other words the source of all the retinas that which completely transcends the rats and the desire that is manifested in just a reference to another word this is also explained what's the point here this is all the continuations what we learned before with the example of rebels and there's two levels of razan right there's and looks like in a person there's the nuts of a person that's manifested through through ideas through reasons you have a reason for it that's already not pure desire that's desire the way it's filtered it's condensed in some form of logical structure so it's what i want but it's always what i want in a way that the rats and is manifested it's enclosed within within circle then there is what's called the gal galte the cafe the skull that hovers over the brain which represents kessler that represents pure datsum ratsan which is completely beyond khacham thaida mitzvah says represents hashem rodzan the way it's channeled through eraser because it says toyota comes from so this is channeled through which is the beginning of and that's the structured life of the tsaddik following the blueprint of the rebel initial islam of how a person should live when rebbe cried and said yes some people acquire the world their world in many years and then there's a person who acquires the whole world his world base in one moment one hour one turn and not only that they call him rebbi because the basket that came out as i said in earlier shirum was that caused debbie himself to cry the yashkin says what did they blast he cried and in that sense it says the gamora says god now the cry was so deep yatsunovshi there was no he couldn't even contain it anymore right it was a complete uh complete uh cloisonnefesh his nephesh went so how does truvia work why does truva work so this is what the balatini is explaining to give a muscle in people's relationships maybe it can help a little bit to understand again i don't know if it's a perfect marshall but maybe i'm not sure but maybe it's a stickle marshall sometimes you have a relationship the relationship is damaged it's damaged why what damaged it and the answer is i felt that my desires my uh my interests my needs were completely unmet maybe exact opposite this is what you would call hat you would call betrayal the word fat is very accurate because there's a void there's just a terrible void so what happens your watson is pulled away mairozson is pulled away you have a desire in somebody there's an interest there's a connection there's a connection but if if if the person is not considered the person is not perspective the person's desires are are actually betrayed and ignored so what does he say the rudson gets pulled away this is stalker seraton you lose you lose interest you lose trust we all know relationships that are betrayed or that are damaged and that sense of trust that sense of closeness is not there it can happen in a marriage casper solomon can happen between friends it happens in families it can happen between siblings there's i don't trust you anymore if i don't trust you what does it mean my rutson is not here i'm not interested anymore i have to i have to find other things he says a very sharp word yeah the ruts and the parts so he says hey how do you bring back that ruts although says you can't that's like it's damaged how do you bring back it's damaged you have to go to a much deeper place that rutsen that rodson was was was hurt that desire that i had was hurt so what so so what happens she says you have to go to arrive at the ivan you have to go to the source of the person's rods in simple words it may mean you have to find and you have to dig much deeper like he says you have to go back to the well the well dried up so the river's right up the river flows from the well if there's no well there's no river so the river would be like the flow of love of connection of trust that's like the datsun that flows through historically it comes from the mayan it comes from a wellspring that mayan has been dried up there's nothing there you're gonna look there's no water there so what do i have to do i have to dig much much deeper and we have to find out what's the source of all the retinas because in watson again there's two levels generally this is the way my ratson is structured this is what i want this is what i want this is what i want but every ratson is rooted in the primal primal desire of what you truly truly truly desire and that's completely beyond circle completely beyond khachama that's called the riva the khal riven the rutsen behind it in its sinus and that's not easy to articulate because it's not structured and it's not camouflaged and it's not filtered and it's not condensed and it's not channeled through logic through ideas it's literally at the core of the soul right it's it's because words usually are also limiting yeah so like when somebody says i want because i want because and it makes sense and it makes sense it's something but it's not that it's not that it's not yet gal galte and this is called in kabbalah says it's called river the khal riven or the makker had it signed he calls it the makara on the makaras both both you have it yahoo bashem but like everything but salman nuked it's reflected in a person as well in the person's soul as well right but it's raw in other words it's not matsumtsum it's not restricted in logic in hezbol but it's not that rotsum very good so that's a good yeah good so in order in order to to to bring back the watson i can't go back to that same will that was so to speak wounded and withdrew so it's not that there's no hope there's a different type of hope because that's the key it's a reason because this relationship was missing in the loss of citizens the histaus relationship was missing the structural relationship that flows through which thousands through a regular structured life of loyalty of dedication was wounded there was a rupture there was a rupture the mayan is not anymore flowing to the gnar so now because katanu because of this hisaren so i i want to i need to i yearn to get to the source of silica to the source of order its owners and if i can touch that all the begum all the blemishes could be refilled why because that's like the the source from where the whole watson came from so if you can re re-access that so then automatically automatically all the blemishes get filled not because i could i can't change the past what happened but it's like when you dig deeper into the well you have a whole new flow of water and the river can get refilled from that it would be again like in a connection in a relationship you're forced to really identify what do you really really want because as we're saying there's two levels of this is what it looks like i want and it's not that it's not true it's just a more outer layer and then there is what's it's a very deep process you ask somebody what's disappointing you they'll say what's disappointing me is the person didn't show up right okay so so what's the problem problem is well this happened and that happened and that happened and that happened and that happened but that's all very logical if you go deeper and deeper and deeper what's the life of the children when there's no disappointment you don't have to know that when there's disappointment and especially when there's deep disappointment what's the real they're the epinemeous of all the retirees and when you can identify that you can identify that space right that's a very very vulnerable spot so he says that's what slicker is if if if that can be touched if that rudson could be met then all will be forgiven because everything else is just a flow it's a trickle from there that's the source of the whole maya how do you get to that place in the person there also has to be that thing and that's really with the nukuda of truth and that's that's the whole vert here hashem my oymec my aim it can reach out to your urinemic when the person himself or herself gets to that place in their ratsu when the person themselves how do they get to that place in their datsun because of their own ability to transcend their structure sometimes it's because like in revelation everything else got disintegrated so they go back to their own pneumonias of enemies their own rival the khal raven now you reach into the arrival of the khoravan of the other when you reach into the eruption of the other then the ki katanu requires that i have to go to a much much deeper place and from there the ratson could be restored because it's not the same level of rats and it's a whole higher level of rotten and that's what it says with the baltruva stands that saddiq could never stand why because you touched the ratsan of the person in the martial or in the nimshala the abundance of them that's completely and that caused debbie himself learned a whole other aspect of the relationship that wasn't visible before such a high level well no that's what the person is doing it in a demeaning way like uh you know yesterday you were a sinner here he's talking about the my love trove so comes out yeah and such moments you see r r r rhodes it's very when that desire comes out it's extremely it's an intense flow it's like a a nuclear energy because it's not it's not restricted by anything it's not controlled it's not orchestrated it doesn't have reason i don't need reasons when i say i want because the yeah the because already conceals the intensity the rawness of the purity of the razor which that's called distortions that's called the starslash it's the way reality is structured within systems which makes the world go round but we destroy system we often destroy systems in a negative way so he says great and now destroy it in a positive way you destroyed it in a negative way now destroyed in a positive way that's true it says in prakayavas basarama maurice hashem created the world through ten utterances yeah asks the tanev why like why waste your time you could have done it with one you know do it in one minute you don't need 10 hours so what's that so you remember me to pay back to get paid back from the russian who destroy a world that wasn't created through one utterance it was created through ten and by the way also to give reward for sadiq who strengthened the world who affirmed the world that was created by sodom amanus what do you say about that why did you buy an expensive couch for your dining room instead of a cheap couch could have bought a couch for a you bought a couch couch for nine thousand dollars you know why so that when your kid destroys the couch you'll be able to punish him much more now what do you say about such a father you hear it's a mishna you would have put a cheap couch and your child would pour ice cream and orange juice and chocolate mousse cake on it no you can't punish him that much it's only 50 bucks it's a cheap couch you bought on ebay for 50 bucks but if you went and you bought ah a moira dick could get welding a couch for eight thousand dollars ah now you can punish him be destroyed i guess on the couch really god could have created the world with one utterance why ten to get take back from the australian who didn't destroy a little world from one minor they destroyed the world of us and by the way also to give reward that's the second thing by the way the good kid who keeps the couch he's going to get more scar because he protected a good couch abyssal madness so now you're adding to the question if the if he really could have done it with us it's not even worth it it's not even worth the other if i could have paid for the couch ten dollars and i paid eight thousand dollars then i'm the idiot holocaustically right if i buy something that's worth ten dollars and the guy fools me and i pay a thousand dollars for it and then you destroy it what do you have to pay ten dollars or a thousand dollars ten bucks i was fooled i have a time that's called i know he's guilty of fraud it's called i know but you're not guilty somebody that's worth 10 bucks i paid a thousand dollars okay that's my problem it's not your problem you didn't destroy a thousand dollar product real estate is different maybe so what's the shot the shot in this mission is this mime the mishna is this mime it's a very very it's a very intense mission of this i once heard this explaining the praise he explained it based on this mimer is not the world of my merch he could have created the world with echoed with the nakuda of echoed with the nikuda of ratzin which is beyond us it's kasir it's called the 11th akhadesray ekhod beyond esther should have said the word in mishnah is usually to punish he doesn't say to punish he says leave para what's para pay priya skyv right parathy i paid lipara means you owe me something you have to pay leave parliament everybody get paid from the resharing who destroy the world nevertheless well how do they pay huh truva what happens to truva they destroy against the world to should everybody they take it back because they destroyed the world of assad my mothers they revealed the mimer echoed of the universe and that's how they pay you destroyed it they destroy the world twice one in a destructive way and one in the most beautiful way and that's the power of healing you destroy your world twice first i destroyed it sadly through making choices that came from my internal wounds or negative choices however you want to phrase it and then i look at my world there's nothing there there's no i started my mothers everything is disarray chaos there's no flow everything was dried up there's no relationship duration is gone i betrayed every connection boom was compromised what do you do li pada now you could do prayer and how do you pay you destroyed the world again now in the most beautiful way you go back to the main mechanic you find the arrival of the whole raven that's started to cry yes says he went back to the mecca that is another thing and that's already second that sadiq they also get credit you know why they keep up the system you got to give them credit for that too so that's number two number two is the guys who keep up the system my son of my mothers everything is beautiful it's a gate the structure is flowing the pipes are clear the flow is going from rats into them but but but the deeper union is that the sort of mothers it gives them an opportunity to go back to the to the ah what does this mean in a person's life when my system my regular system breaks down the rudson that goes through seiko breaks down i am challenged to uncover my own i'm challenged to uncover who i really really really am we all know this in every person's life and some of you know this in your own life when the regular structures of life don't work it challenges us to find out who we really really are and that is a very very grueling task and it comes with a lot a lot of pain but it also comes with unbelievable uh huh you could use the word rewards and also unbelievable connection unbelievable uh appreciation and celebration of life in a way that another person can't even understand and that's that's that's that's the why what happened what happened what's the science here the science here is if you could use that word i don't know if that's the right word but the science here is this nakuda the nuclear that the person really can access and had to access slack there was no katanu i don't have to go to that place it could remain a much more i'm not going to call it a superficial relationship it's not a superficial relationship it's a very deep relationship but it's a relationship that's defined by structure the mamakim has to do a whole new crusade hashem you have to re-access yutkay wafkee from where from the river the horizon because everything else was gone yeah so the missionary is only speaking no both or everybody or or lipara lee paradise god sends you down to this world it's like alone right i give you a soul of your body i give you energy i give you resources in order to to to complete the world to fix the world the russia doesn't do it there's a priya you have to pay back how do you pay back he destroyed assad of my mother's he goes to my merchant he goes to the yucca to the yucca yucca is potentiality yucca doesn't mean he could have and it's gone yahoo means it's in a state of yahoo it's in a state of jehoiless of potentiality that's what it means ibarras it's a state of jehalis yeah of course of course we describe it as two personalities but in each person's life you have both obviously sometimes you have a life that's defined by one by by a particular journey by a particular element why is it called destroying the world once he is doing the truth in a good way why is he destroyed i guess he destroyed his ego and himself my aberdeen in a way that you you you yeah you lay waste you lay waste to the simpson to the stalsalas and therefore first time you were the strong external well now you destroy internally but that affects external also see continues four lines from the bottom it says in tehillim at the same capital we say it has because forgiveness is with you therefore you're you're feared it's a strange passage because you forgive therefore you're feared usually you should say this way because he you don't forgive therefore you're feared real forgiveness real reconciliation is always from the eurozone that's beyond distortions the eurozone within estos had rupture there was rupture in this relationship so you must go to a deeper place now this doesn't mean a person wants to go there in other words you don't tell a couple try to have a rupture in your relationship so you can get to the right of the river it's not what you try to do you do active usher if you don't do that when there is a rupture though when there is a rupture and that rudson is so to speak wounded it's gone i'm not here i'm not involved anymore if i'm not going to get the rudson that's beyond everything i'm not going to get that trust back when i do get that trust back from that ruts and it's much deeper than it can ever be it's a different level of trust because it comes from the core so that's called gila rats it's mama's with you it's you it's like with you it says also with you is the source of life there's life and there's the source of life there's the well and there's the source of the well the tahom in the abyss you have to go down into the abyss to find the source of the well the mayan dried up you have to go much deeper the source of life and the life of life remember there's reverence so through the slicker there could now be kim to the yira le mantivare which comes from malcolm's because if the razor alien doesn't come out that rudson we said that the world is created from malchus malchus is the desire for the connection for the relationship right and that ruts and comes out through territory mitzvahs here there was a blemish to put there was a blemish on terror mitzvahs so how can there ever be again le mantivare the answer is that is such a vulnerable place and such a beautiful place because it's really the courage in all aspects of life to be able to ask what i really really want you know what i really want yeah well if it's not done in a robotic way this yeah i mean i could do it right but i think generally we see you know a person is uh a person has a lot of emotions and a lot of desires and a lot of you know we have moods and we have fluctuations i think if we don't really if we can't really identify what's happening inside it may be short-lived no there's not a technical process yeah technically i could say you know from now i'll do x y z and it's it's better than the other way but but we're talking here about the connection the the the the the relationship the relationship there's a living a living relationship let's see he's going to be masba more he's going to be mine [Music] of this state and this rodson this it's called the head and when you say the head it doesn't only mean the head the brain inside the head means the whole head the head includes the gal gatta the skull that hovers over the brain as we said earlier there's the ratsan that's channeled through seiko through the three parts of the brain right brain left brain center different dimensions of the brain and then there is that which hovers over the brain so the mishkin which is beyond the place where it dwells epiphany the inside the intuition being is the development das is the integration the personal experience the internalization internalization this has been even beyond us says throughout the next 10 days you say this capital of tehillim was chosen 130. and that's the meaning of the bakreider schaefer below what's up you blow it's a simple sound it's not a sophisticated sound it's a simple sound that comes out from the heave la laive from the inner breath of the heart but from a very internal place that's why it's exhausting it's not like do when you do tequila it comes out from the pneumonias of the heart why does hashem what's this blowing of the shophanus hashana what is it speak you want to say something say it you want to scream scream should i you know say stop say what you want to say so i can't say it it's something that i can't say he can't he can't bring it out from his lips but deeper why because it's the cry of the heart and it's asking premiere it's beyond kakma oysters deeper even is a vessel it's the vocabulary has a vocabulary the vocabulary is called words even mahshava's thoughts here we're talking about that saka saleh that's much deeper than so there's no debris we're going to start talking if you're talking you're not saying you're not talking about this that's what he said before in the nandala rama bay's when he spoke about tsak libham right the heart screams haleath sayak the bhartiya neem libya i speak with my heart it's something that as he said earlier that the nephesh sometimes you have a situation there's a pain and i could contain the pain in other words it sits with me i can make sense out of it i can talk about it sometimes it challenges the very eye that's supposed to make sense out of it so i'm like uh and it's a whole different level of experience they call it the death of ego the dissolution of ego you know what i mean that's what it was it was a cry from the heart this did it to debbie also that's the murder de gawarte in this moment that became a balchuva rebbe himself was transformed but he was at sadiq and that moment he became a bolshover you don't both of it doesn't mean i sin and i did sure but it's a modality you understand that's the bacha rabbi what is it sometimes you're talking to me something is challenging but there's there's an eye left i make sense of it i define it i contain it and then every level of growth is defined by the i that's containing it and then there's a point he said before in the previous page he said that his lesson was that ain kayak will what my soul could contain i can articulate because my eye could make sense out of it but what my soul can't contain anymore there's no eye left so look at you fell into the abyss right there's nothing left that moment i can go to the dots and beyond the stars that's what you meet that's what you meet in that space has a lash in one of them aviva my mother and father abandoned me and god took me in he says he says obvious he says completely abandoned me hashem yes hashem founded the earth with khachama in kabbalah it says eretz is our euphemism for deeper communication that is connected to valse that's why we say what's the next passage hashem shima bikili grammatically again we have a problem shima liquidly not shima bitcoin listen to my voice not listen in my voice what do you say listen to what i'm saying not listen in what i'm saying is when somebody's speaking to you they're almost begging you don't listen to what i'm saying you have to be able to understand this i'm saying don't listen to what i'm saying don't listen to my voice shema be kylie listen to that which is inside my voice that i don't know how to express can you hear that if you can't hear that you can't really listen to me if you're listening to my voice then you're listening to a very restricted part hashem the pneumonia so this is even when the person is not blowing shaipha when the person is talking they're also blowing shaipha whenever a person is talking they're also blowing shauper the question is what are you hearing there's no such a thing a person is not blowing chauffeur they're always blowing chauffeur kids just blow straight for they don't talk [Applause] because they're real we get older what do they tell us they'll stop blowing soy fur and stop talking yeah use your words so we will stop blowing shuffle but we never stop blowing shaft we're always blowing shuffle the question is can you hear it so hashem shima be kylie don't listen to my kyle listen what's but don't listen to the words listen to the presale that the words are eclipsing the words are not containing it yeah and it's even beyond melody the hairspray alternate describes uh what it means to huh there's a better definition for a therapist i'm asking you or for a mentor for a healer shimabikhaili what's that that's why it says tikku you know when you have to blow the renewal of the worlds from nothingness to somethingness which every rosh hashanah gets renewed through hashem's words because brian saw illama's words by sarah morris begins with why do we blow the chauffeur because he's blowing shafer he's blowing shaipha in other words it doesn't begin with his words it begins with his pleasure it begins with his razor it begins with his intimate raw desire i want you i want you there had to be words ultimately which is malchos in order to create a world but it begins with the inec which is beyond and that's what the shaifer touches tiku now it's a time to blow not to talk because it's baha'ish because it's kiddish you're going back all the way to the beginning it's the rebooting like you said in the beginning of the nightmare rosh hashanah everything starts over the old theos goes away anushias comes in so where is that coming from it's coming from one place my deepest desire my deepest idea this is what i want not fakma if you'll ultimately ask why was the world created did god really need it every logical explanation has another why and another wine another wine another one and another one the famous voice from the altareba they were talking why did rashem create the world and everybody was giving reasons because there's so many reasons if you look in swarm of thy reselled his reasons and enjoyed his reasons and in amcalda's reasons and in kabbalah in philosophy so so it looks like it's a joke right it's cute sativa but it's really far far from a joke i mean maybe it is a joke but maybe everything is a joke but the point is it's far from a joke what he was trying to say is as long as you're in the world of why you're not going to get to this because y was also created so why why because why there's always a because and because that's what he says you ultimately you got to go that's what he said much earlier in the moment it starts with ruts and it starts with oinig oinig means delight pleasure and that's why by a person ratson is deeper than khakim is already part of ashtausas once hashem wants he creates an unbelievable system but those are systems that's called the stars govaldika system and tereda mitzvahs is the blueprint of that system it's the backhand program of that system and that's why it's the key to life but is dirac so so and that's why taka you see that rosh hashanah hashem blew in to adam it's also blowing he blew shaiphus [Music] the rest of the world that says he spoke him a and that happened in shashana so it's not just we're blowing the whole matsias is one big blow it's not deeper comes from it comes from tikku but shaifen it's accessing the original rats and that's alev in a person also it's and in that place is the time of truth because trevor reaches that space in ratson which is which is what's revealed under shashana that's why these became the days he asked why did these become the days of trump what's the connection he created the world very nice makeup is a month for that's the word because that's what all chuva means not stoma you're repenting it's going into it's it's it's re re-accessing the pyramid and he says the word is shay fresh it says in matters the word shayfer means of course a channel or ramsay and it also comes to the word it says that there were two women right the two midwives of egypt shifa shifla she she beautified the child shop room beautify beautify your deeds in other words your deeds are filled with pleasure when your deeds are filled with pleasure there's a beauty to it there's a relationship it has a beauty it's chaprum there's a technique to it and after there's a long parenthesis here we're explaining shifra and shayfrika bola but i want to go after the parentheses the hainu it's like after eight and beyond the starchalas it should come out how does it come out in a recreation of the world which is the gili of malchus hashem wanted to be a melody he wanted a connection but that could remain completely inside of him rosh hashanah that kia schaefer re-accesses the inner desire the inner pleasure i want you and that's what that's where malchus comes from because remember malchus is the source of the existence of otherness good question why do we need an animal so just scream don't speak scream good question good question that's a good why do you need the animal because you gotta you gotta go to the primal animal we'll see very good question even even screaming not you gotta go you gotta use the if you scream it's not kyoshoi for if a person gets up they're trying to do to do you could do it even nicer than the ramshorn right if you have a nice voice you're not you're into the mitzvah you need the animal you need daft the animal it's the most primal space oh you're learning at least the mammalian at least the mammalian brain it's the most primal spaces yeah you have to go to the primal spaces we'll see one more nakuda here before before uh before shakira schaefer we say apos capital and to hillary so how does the world learn it goes up through the blowing hashem through the sound of shaifer it's an interesting puzzle says now you'll understand what it means listen to this like yoim trua the word true also comes the word is friendship it says bilaam says about the jewish people hashem us says rasheed the friendship of the melaka is to him there's a deep khiba i love you i'm crazy you're my best friend so he says hashem because if it is that there's this allah kim there's a an ascent from elohim from lower to higher bisrua to the place of khiba vireyus that's the ali kim which allah kim represents symptom concealment and then havaya comes down because sheifer through the cause sheifer which is the negelion to bring out the true the friendship that we should experience the love and the pleasure and the affection and the friendship of him inspired him the word means a branch like a scepter a branch from a tree so when you have a bishop then israel within each person there's so much fragmentation we have so many branches that separate but they come back to oneness like we say before krsna's the heart becomes one according to all of this he now says one point is i want to finish with this point suddenly becomes the day of judgment what's the shaykh we suddenly judge the person for his actions listen to what he touches you could mechanic you could cry from the next line because in order there should be the ineg and the ratson in the revelation of ismael space you always have to ask where is this pleasure going to connect to i have this infinite pleasure in you is there a you that responds on who is this pleasure being conferred and can there be a real pleasure in the revelation of this connection if the recipient overthrew this connection is not interested so there could be ruptures and that's the concept of the madin so you have two days to arouse your own rats there shouldn't be a rupture vasari yamam the world asks a question if you look in the darwining of rosh hashanah judgment is mentioned a few times but the main theme of schweinsteiger is what coronation coronation right why are the two connected usually the day that a king is coronated is not a date of judge yeah la havdel the day that they're gonna court they coronated queen elizabeth ii is a day of coronation long live the king or the queen they're still going to coordinate her son charles the third la havdal it's not a day of judgment for cat it's a day where you celebrate the king and his majesty and uh says for all the english subjects that we have here in the sheer long live the king god save the queen god save the king it's not a day of judgment for cat give the king vacation one day tomorrow he'll start judging coronation is a day of celeb celebrating his majesty her majesty by shashana it's not the day of coronation is day of judgment so some people will say some of the bali mustard explain that the reason is the day of judgment you want extra merits so the greatest merit is that you coronated hashem as king it's a gewalde caschus on the day of judgement dalton says it's a whole different variety it's not because it's a day of judgment therefore he made it a day of coronation so we get an extra skus an extra merit punk it because it's a day of coronation therefore is good you need a good lawyer so hashems you have a good lawyer it's much deeper than that because it's the day of creation it's a day of judgment why what does it mean a day of coronation what does it mean the day of nature is saying is basically it's the beginning of everything what's the beginning of everything according to the altar desire desire i want you and i want you so much that i'm ready to renounce my infinity just for you remember malchus is a big challenge because malchus means there's you so i'm ready to renounce my infinity just for you that's what i want i want you there is already good good question and that's the big hidden rosh hashanah right that there was an again i want a relationship i want the connection with you so now imagine somebody comes to you yeah and says a woman comes to a man a man comes to a woman before marriage and says i have everything you know in my mind i'm infinite at least my mother thinks i'm infinite my father thinks i'm infinite the bank thinks i have infinite money but all that is not what i really want what i really want is you i really want you i want you that's pretty vulnerable right that's pretty vulnerable for the person who says that or i have everything but all i want is you and you look at them and say i'm not interested what does that feel like a2 brute then caesar falls right it's a dagger in the chest it's a dagger in the heart yeah even more you don't even say i'm not interested you just look away like i don't even know who you are like what do you want that's very painful why is it so painful because as they say in english it takes two to tangle in a good way it takes two to tangle i want you but i need you i'm not you i want you if you don't want anything to do with me so in his words here ain't what's the ain't it coming to my pleasure is you but you're not here you're not showing up it's a very tragic thing you sometimes see this in marriages not very infrequently there's a relationship of two people one person wants the other i want you i want you i want your soul i want your body i want you no shum i want your imagination i want you and that means i want to be committed to you there's nobody responding why is there nobody responding person is not there they may not even be able to be there they're not there for themselves they can't be there for anybody else they're not there they're shut down dead man walking it's called a dead man walking a zombie i'm a zombie i'm a robot i do everything but there's no person so enough i want you with every fiber of my being but you're not there so i want you there's nobody here there's nobody who wants me because there's nobody there he says that's the yamaha dean of rosh hashanah that's the din of rosh hashanah the dinner shana is everything is for you the question is are you here are you here or you're not here because if it's all about the eneg and the rudson in the relationship and the connection so then there's one thing that's more important than anything else and that is are you in the same frequency is there the same frequency and that's why human consciousness and desire is at the core of all creation and i'm just going to say here one thing because i think without this monument it's very hard to understand every week and every month now science and physics is coming up with this unbelievable idea that there's no reality outside of consciousness what creates actual reality push it reality on every level is your thought that there is reality your consciousness of reality i told you once max planck said he's one of the fathers of quantum physics we used to think consciousness is a derivative of matter today we know that matter is a derivative of consciousness there are physicists who will tell you that when you leave your house if there's nobody in the house the house stops existing now it looks like a cute stupid thing because my mortgage company doesn't think so the irs doesn't think so the telephone company doesn't agree right they all send bills to my house so they think that it exists even if i left okay that's all in humor but the point is that there's a very profound truth here right what makes what defines existence what defines existence is our consciousness that it exists and have a different state of consciousness the existence is a different existence we know it's true with light it's true with colors it's all electromagnetic frequencies that are registered by my brain and based on my state of consciousness that's what creates reality what's the premiums of that does that make the world such a non-existent place or a real existent place i believe this is this is the nakuda of one of the nucleus of this mimer if the whole existence is what is based on hashem's desire for you so what makes existence your desire your consciousness your reciprocity god says all of existence is basically my desire for you so so all the code of existence is your consciousness it's where you are it's your state of mind your interest your passion your focus that's reality that's what creates reality that's the you know the back end program of a program you you talk you you get rid of that back and there's nothing left what's the back end program of all of reality what's the string theory what is it and the answer is hashems and watson and you on what is that and what does it apply to me you the person so my desire my consciousness my frame my frame of reference of reality that is what defines reality and there's different levels if a person is not interested like he said earlier a person is completely not interested yeah the world exists on a certain frequency when a person is completely interested then the frequency of that world the frequency of reality is the deepest level of intimacy with hashem so but mainla that's the imagine of rosh hashanah the madina is did anybody understand what i just said about reality huh okay so bama you see it more and more now it's it's literally it's all subjective so it makes the world so it's not real not it the whole world is based on ratson ratson of hashem and therefore outside of the person because that's what the ratson is so what's the madinov we sit down a couple sits down i completely want you now where are you where are you did you show up or you didn't show up it's the day of ultimate attachment it's the day of ultimate connection because hashem left his ain't safe he renounced his infinity just for attachment so what so so what's the yaimadin of rosh hashanah are you ready to renounce your fear for attachment oh you're not are you ready to go out of your bubble for attachment for connection now we all know that attachment takes a lot of courage attachment real connection takes tremendous courage i have to renounce my fear my insecurity sometimes my traumas my wounds right my my ego my narcissism my uh my timidness whatever i have to renounce to really be attacked i don't mean attached halfway attached fully that level of attachment that's fully so rosh hashanah he says i am renouncing my whole ainslief to attach to you what is that attachment going on to is it is it attached to something that is that's sleeping or you also i also have that courage to be able to attach to be able to really connect to be able to show up to that vegas with my full full full being with all my rats and from the deepest place and therefore the day of chuva because when there was that sense of rupture detachment can i go to my deepest watson and touch your deepest datsun and that's he said that's what the whole dinner is about the whole dinner is about is there connection is there attachment here is there a relationship and that's why when you talk about attachment it's not just with hashem technically it's everything all attachment in the world is attachment with hashem connection with yourself connection with your spouse connection with your children connection with another person connection with human what is it it's all connection with god attachment with another person is attachment with hashem it's just manifested through attachment with a different person right rosh hashanah when you say you reconnect hashem it means you reconnect to everybody you reconnect to yourself you reconnect to the people in your life it's the courage to be able to come out of my bubble to come out of my bubble where there is this fake security and no vulnerability i'm a self-contained man and then there is this very difficult pain of coronation you know i'm all in but is anybody else here did anybody show up for this party did anybody show up you know the caller showed up for the kupa there's a mice like that right the huston wasn't to be found he wasn't to be found so that's what it looks like so the question is let's see what's happening let's understand what happened during the past year what's going on in your life so serious is the ten days of working through the kaichi san nefesh all the way down me makim to be able to find my inner inner watson derived my inner inner watson which is beyond my regular sun which has been ruptured which can touch the ultimate inner rats in avarsham that finishes the third chapter of the mimer so that's the tickle bach i think the word din means discernment discernment no we we hear the word judgment then you know i'm judging judging i think did means analysis scrutiny surveying uh um uh discernment reckoning reckoning like let's call it what's din it's a reckoning it's uh it's discernment which could bring to reconciliation of where where this where where this relationship where this relationship stands and the honesty is the icker the honesty is the icker you know if i tell you you know i want to be with you i want you and you say i don't i don't that's what's happening now you know why i don't i don't know let's figure it out but i don't i don't why don't i why don't i what's the answer why don't people why is there no reciprocity ah they don't know what they're missing that's possible they don't know what they're missing or they don't feel it or or there's a wound here right there's there's a wound ah i didn't say trauma you said but you're learning right right that's why that's why that's why he says done the real din here is where did the rupture happen there was there was there was a break down here there was there was a disconnection here that happened right we see it you could see it like between two people like when did you lose interest what happened and the answer is you'll say i felt misunderstood i felt ah pre-one a second grade i felt misunderstood i felt betrayed i felt you don't care about me i i can't reconnect so my dots went away my my rats literally went away and that has to be worked through that's what it is you have to work through all the kirchhoffs the ten kaijus now in this case in this case where there's always hope for it because there's no real betrayal on the other side all hashem wants is you you and and with love with inec with khiba with reyes the whole existence is because of you but i have to be able to work through yeah where where that where that this connection is and always know that there's a rudson behind all that it's sinus that is always there the rats and behind all that sinus that's always there on both ends it never goes away that's the mamakim hashem and asham shema because for this i have to blow the shafer the blowing of the chauffeur is going to my arrive at the colorado in my river the kho raven which is beyond all the ruptures be able to identify that and when you can identify that there's always the me making you could bring back in the making hashem but for that we need to shima bikkaili not shima liquidly well the rupture rupture is that there was this the connection you know then it's not rupture if it never initiates no rupture so it's a very very deep it's a very deep process a very honest process it's a very authentic process it's a very intimate process this is not uh you know this is not a show showbiz it's not fan fits not drama it's very uh it's a very very this is this is like the core this is the core it's very vulnerable because because he says my whole oynic is here but it's it's vulnerable for hashem as much as it is for the person that's the nakuda it's extremely vulnerable in in his absolute infinity you could say and i'm using the wrong word for infinity there was a loneliness because infinity is is isolated again i'm using the wrong word because there's nobody else to be isolated from but ain't scythe in its own unique way is ain't scythe but it's also isolated it's alone right enough so he did i don't want to be levada now again i know it's not the regular loneliness and isolation that we talk about i need somebody i need feedback but essentially there's no feedback there's no re this it's not relational ain't safe is not relational so the great the great revolution of brie sallam was that god says in my deepest core i want i want you i want you symptom and this is the divine energy that's tailor-made for the amalek and that's nimshakhan rish hashanah but rish hashanah where does it come it comes from the deepest place comes from the deepest deepest place so what does it trigger in the recipient since you did mention trauma i'm just going to say this as a last point one of the most tragic things that happens in in people who are wounded is that they don't feel they often don't feel that they deserve to be loved and it's very real they don't feel so if somebody does love them they have to reinterpret it because i don't deserve to be loved so it's not it's not love either the person is trying to manipulate me or hijack me or exploit me or abduct me or the person is lying they'll reinterpret it in a different way so that it should fit the patterns with which they have been coping maybe for 10 20 30 40 50 60 who knows how many years unfortunately so a person could be giving them their whole soul and what are they giving back they're giving back anger they're giving back resentment they're giving back cold shoulder they're giving back negative energy they're not giving back anything they're just dead they're numb it's a terrible tragedy i'm gonna tell you that in my opinion most divorces that happen today are not based on a lack of compatibility they're based on trauma one or two of the people married are so wounded and they're not ready to take responsibility for it because they're so wounded how do you heal it chauffeur it's a good question it's a good question but what i'm saying you have situations where there's no compatibility but if i'm not mistaken am i right what i'm saying or not about most divorces huh or i'm wrong what from your experience most people that get the voice is it because porsche we're really not compatible it's not that way right i'm not saying there's no mid-season there's no compatibility but i'm saying in most cases hashem made we can work it out okay but when there's trauma it's not that there's no compatibility it's that one person is not is not present they can't be i can't i don't even know who you are i can't hear you because i can't hear myself huh so you have a very very tragic situation where a person simply cannot receive the the love because they don't believe they don't they don't believe they don't believe that it exists and therefore they will reinterpret reality based on that so this is a very very powerful thing that is saying here that that's the mahdi part of the imadin of rosh hashanah am i ready to receive the love right in order to give love i also want to be able to receive the love could i receive it he says there's nobody i'll meet local hoenig because if if i if in my mind i don't deserve it or whatever however i'm defining it in my thought process so then you can experience all the inig and ratson from your partner and from the rabbi nishal islam and what am i saying i'm saying you hate me you're sick you're abusive and the more love you give sometimes the more abusive you are because it's so scary it's so scary for me like if you stop giving me love okay hashem then i could like you actually but if you give me love it's like you're really getting into a system it's too scary so now i really have to hate you because you're dangerous you're like dangerous so it becomes even worse so the other person doesn't know what to do because they're they're lost it's like you know what am i supposed to do it's a very painful situation sometimes they even blame themselves because they don't understand so when it comes to the tsugi that we're talking about here it's such a critical point to be able for a person to be able to really understand and really be able to see this is my yoim hadin to be able to really to really see where am i showing up in this connection you know what what am i scared of is there a person who's ready to receive this type of ainagh this type of pleasure this type of hiba this type of reyes means it's a day of friendship today of reyes the simpson goes up because of the true and hashem comes back because sheifer i just wanted to emphasize that everybody have a wonderful and beautiful day on shabbos now good bench jar and hashem shabbos we have our regular shirt midsole shabbos before slickest at 10 o'clock at 10 10 15 there will be a fabric in here before slickers in the tent everybody is invited it's for men and women and then afterwards one o'clock they have slices different miniatures different all the regular minions look us tomorrow night matar shabbos and monday morning we will be able we will raise rashem finish the mimer blinder monday morning 7 45. in the meantime have a wonderful day a good bench jar to you and your loved one amen the yeshiva.net [Music]