Don’t Amputate Any Part of Your Self

[Music] the yeshiva.net today's class is dedicated by nancy miller in memory of her parents rip moisture beneliezer and cyril bastrop david on the occasion of the yard site on the sixth day of other may the light of their memory continue to shine may they continue to be good inter-betters for their entire family we may all be reunited with our loved ones with the coming of meshiach thank you very much for your dedication and deed to all of your blessings and tahini but always be a source of blessing for all of you and the entire family and all the jewish people also dedicated by absalom potash in the loving memory of his father and esther whose yacht said was on the fourth day of other tahinish mosques if you want there's a famous story everybody knows that the gemara tells in tractate megillah i think it's page 13 that haman when he cast a lot to figure out what would be the best day to execute his genocidal plan against the jewish people so he was extremely overjoyed when he saw that the lot fell out in the month of other why because the month of other is the month when moishe rabbenu passed away on the seventh of other zion other and for this so for haman this was a great sign that his plan might khalilah be successful the gemara continues did not know that it's also the day that moshe was born it's not only the day when maisha passes also the day he was born because on the seventh of adam maishrabenu both passed away and was born as the gemara learns out from the psukem say that today i became 120 years old today the very same day of his birthday is the day that he also returns his soul to its maker so haman thought this is such a glorious sign for him but he didn't realize the day has also an opposite meaning so commentators ask a question it doesn't say anywhere in humash clearly that maeshrabenu passed away on the seventh day of other it doesn't say there's no date for martial benue's passing his brother aaron it says when he passed away reshri deshave but that's the only art site that's mentioned in hamash no other yard sites are explicitly mentioned in humash the way we learn it out is the gemara has a whole way of learning it out that after moisha's passing yahshua and the jewish people mourned for 30 days and then hashem said okay after 30 days in three days you're going in territory syrah and they went in there to israel on the tenth of nissan so from that taj mahal we figure out that moisture no passed away on the seventh of adr and then the gemara says and since moishe said that today my years are filled we know that it's also the same day when he was born in other words it was 120 dead years from day to day zayn added another if so if haman was such a talmud and haman was such a lambda and harman knew not only what it says in humash but he also learned he also knew what the sages expounded from the sukham and yahushua that maishrabenu passed away on the seventh of other so why didn't they teach the second part of the gemara when he left for that part of the class the first part of the shia that maishrabeno passed away is inaudible the second part of the shia a line later harman left when he was checking his phone what happened that harmon missed out that point of the the first thing is not explicit the second thing is non-explicit they're both implicit if muhammad was such a scholar about jewish dates even things that are not explicit in the tanakh why didn't human know that as well so there were two contemporaries who gave both the same explanation they i don't think they knew of each other because they lived in different parts of the world the adrianas was one of the great sages in germany in the eighteenth century and in ukraine you had nakam of chernobyl one of the students of the balsham so i saw that the mirenay which was authored by abnormal of chernobyl in partial tetsava he has an answer and they say for yaris vash from the biennis in april he gives a very similar answer they lived in the same era but i don't know i don't think they knew of each other so they both say as follows when the gemara says haman didn't know it was the day that moishe was born it doesn't mean he didn't know that it was the day of maisha's birthday he may have known that it was the day of maisha's birthday just like he knew it was maisha's yard say that's what gamara gemara means is as follows he knew that it's the day that maisha passed away he didn't know that the day that maisha passed away is the day that he was born not talking about his own birth birth but rather that the day maisha passed away it's not the day that maisha's life ended it's the day that moishe's life began and was reborn in the soul of every single jew so moisha's death was not the end of mash's life it was the end of maisha's physical life as an individual but it was also the beginning of the birth of maishrabenu in which his soul was so to speak transplanted a piece of it a spark of it in every single jewish soul since so that the day that he passed away is not the day that maisha's life ended it's a day that his life was multiplied instead of being one person it became millions and millions and millions of people as the gemara says in massachusetts maisha told the jewish people in parishes akiv and now what does hashem ask of you only to fear him so the gemara says atu mil sutra sahih is fearing hashem such a small thing to say what am i asking of you already what i add i asked you to hang up your coat what's up what is he already asking you the gemara says it's such a small thing that you could say what am i asking of you yirish hashem is not such a small thing so the gemara answers in lugabe from maisha it's a small thing the question is maisha wasn't talking about himself he was saying you saw martial what he's asking of you how does it answer the fact that for moisha may have not been so big so the tanya says in chapter 42 that every single jew has a piece of moisture when the gomorrah says it doesn't mean relative to moisture himself means relative to the moisture within every single jew irish shamayim is inherent to the very fabric of the soul of the jew so the gabe that moishe was born when moishe passed away it didn't die one mushroom that's what haman did not realize and that includes the fact that moisture we say tara sivalano mashima russia even though physically maisha passed away so many thousands of years but moishe's words marsha's life maisha's maisha's presence monsieur's teachings my sister lives on in the mouth of every single jew who learns tiredest sins tyrants of allah it continues the bossic says when marsha passed away nobody knows the place of his burial so it's also symbolically not just physically they don't know the place of his burial you know in a way nobody knows the place here you can't point and say here moshe is gone marsha's end mouse is buried because moshe's so much of maisha's life continues we call him that's the name that jews call him moshe our teacher as a teacher martial abano never ceases to teach never interrupted his teaching to the point the gemara says that every talmud is still called maisha because that spark of moshe still lives on and that's why we say nitskis everything in toyota everything that marsha taught is eternal it's timeless it continues to live so this is an opening since today is zion other aleph the seventh day of under aleph so it's the connected to the yardstick and the birthday of maishirabeno we're going to take one of the mitzvahs of parshastava which at first glance seems completely not relevant to today's time to today's age and yet show the timeless eternity of it and relevance of it just like everything else in my s torah because the day that masha passes is really the day when maisha is born in everybody's soul and everybody's heart so pasha's tetsava deals with the mitzvah hashem tells maishirabain he tells martial to oversee and organize the weaving of all of what we call big de kohuna the priestly garments after parshas truma which deals with the construction of the mishkan itself the sanctuary parashat sasava deals with those who are going to serve in the mishkan which are of course the kaya named aaron and his children in that generation or kyanim and subsequent generations and part of the service required that they do on special uniforms the ordinary cayenne had four garments that he dawned each morning before he came into the mishkan or the bay samitos to do that and the cayenne goddess had eight garments four of the ordinary cayenne and an extra four the four garments that the ordinary priest dawned before entering into the mishkan to do the service was the signus and avenatti which means a tunic a shirt and pants and a hat and an avenate a belt a girdle a garter the kind goddale who served in the mishkan aaron or in the bassamikdesh in later generations he had eight clothes shmain upgrade he dawned eight garments and they were mitzner's which is also a hat and then the number two was the sinus which is the tunic number three was the avenate the belt the gartel number four was the robe or the coat then there was that sits that sits is on his forehead there was a golden plate on the forehead called that sits engraved with the two words kaido shem then there was the mikhnasayam the congoldo's pants and then the last two were khushin and aphid a fight is an apron and horizon is a breastplate and these last two we want to focus on if you turn around if you turn your sheet around you have here the picture i took this from the temple institute may not be the most accurate there's maybe a few flaws here and there but it just gives a general description of the last two garments that we want to focus on you have here the aphoid and the the apron which hung in the back of the kind goddamn the lower part of his body and the which was the breast plate that you could see on his breast so you also see on top of his head you see them it's neff as the hat on his forehead you see that sits which is that which was on his forehead the plate on his forehead which was made of gold you also have the blue robe made out of turquoise trailers under the apron and under the breastplate that is called the ill the robe under that you see the white you can see the sinus the tunic and you'll see that the blue robe has bells and pomegranates on the bottom so when iron walked in there was a ruckus there was noise that was made but above everything you had these last two garments the aphrodite and the khash what was the aphrodite the aphoid rashi famously says that rashford gives a very interesting example of um rashid says in parishes that the aphid us shall no that's the language russia uses sinar in hebrew is an apron so rashid says the aphid is like the apron that women who ride horses wear and the story that was always told in the khadarim in jewish schools was that when rashi was walking one morning to his yeshiva he saw a woman riding a horse with an apron and rashi asked himself why did god want him to see the sight and then he realized that day he was writing about the aphid and he was struggling to understand what the aphoid was so he actually very rarely that ashley should do this he could say it's an apron he could give but he actually is very graphic so that's the story that they used to tell them hey there that rasheed sought famous balsham the basham once said that everything a jew sees or hears is a lesson it's not random it's part of my purpose in life nothing that i see or i is just a coincidence it's not just a random mistake you have to see and see you have to see in things here every you have to see things and hear things every day but that also is a lesson so rashi gives that example and he says that the apron was covering aaron's back the lower part of the back the lower part back in other words it begins in the waist and it goes down all the way till the bottom of his feet as you could see here they made the apron covering the front but really it didn't cover the front maybe just a little bit mostly it was an apron that covered the back of iron it also had a garter a hayshev that allowed him to tie it you could see the apron has a guard tool that he ties so that it holds and that was called the a fight as you could see in the first source on the other side of the picture the asu parties that saw the perique household chapter 28 of exodus of schmeiz deals with the garments she says they shall make the aphoid they of course means the artisans the great weavers those people who were hired they were skilled work they were the skilled artisans who built the michigan and have woven all the garments they should make this a for this apron zov it's made of gold and hayles turquoise which is a wool that's dyed with the bluish greenish turquoise color argamon which is a wool that's dyed with purple tailashani dyed with scarlet red shaysh mozzar it should all be woven with linen myself designed a work of design that's the aphrodite so it was a very very like all the garments made of rich fabric a combination of all of these fabrics materials mostly wool but also linen and gold together this was the aphid and the pasta continues ah yes yes some of the big decohuna had shatners yeah that's a separate share but yeah some of the priestly garments even the ordinary cayenne the avenate the belt of the ordinary coin also had shatners the other garments not but the belt of thorne also that's why it was a problem for the cayenne to wear any of these garments not during that video during the video says to weird so it's not a problem same god who probably shatner's told them to win but if he wears it's tom let's say he's going to a hasanah and he wants to dress up a nice clothes it's a problem because besides using the property of the mesa there's also the problem of avenate because of sharpness yeah that deserves a shear why why would it be shatness yeah precisely shot as you see here you have trailers and you have chase that's wool and linen turquoise wool and linen now the apron though was not just okay so you tie an apron and it covers the back of iron all the way from from the from the waist all the way down to the legs the back not the front there's a guy till but there's another part of it as you can see in the picture there were two straps that came out of the apron and also from the back not from the front as you can see in the picture the one on the right there's two straps coming from the back of the aphid and they extend upward and the right one goes over his right shoulder the left one goes over his left shoulder and it comes till the top of the chest the top of the torso under the neck and over there as you could see in the picture two annex stones were set and that's what the pasta continues in the first source of you take two stones called shayam i think it's called onix in english i think o n y x if i'm not mistaken israel and in each of those stones were engraved the names of the shvatim six on the right on the one right stone and the other six on the other stone and ketul dicema was done according to the order of their birth so on on those straps coming out of the apron that now came on top of the show they came up on the shoulders of iron or any kangado and they went over the shoulders you had two stones set and in these stones they engraved the names of six shevataman one six so that all of the tribes of israel which of course included the entire jewish nation were remembered and engraved in the aphid good question great question the question is as we'll see in a moment the same names were also engraved on the khushin why the redundancy right okay great question now let's come to the next garment the next garment you could already see in the picture it's called the kharshan or the breastplate because it was on the on the chest on the heart the rest of the kind god it's called says the second source this is exodus again chapter 28 verse 15. you should make you you should make by the eighth he says for us too they shall make here it's about you shall make which doesn't necessarily mean that moshe may not have to make it himself it means that moshe had to oversee it yet by the afraid he says they shall make by the question he says you shall make. again that which is on his heart on his chest on his breast mishpat which closer clarified the law my sacrifice was designed it should be similar to the material that was used the way the aphid the apron was made that means of travis so we have the same materials it's made out of gold and turquoise oil and purple wool and scarlet red wool and linen that's woven together that's how you should make it and here again the terrace says you put in the breastplate four rows of stones and these were very expensive jewels gems diamonds the terror goes through the four rows they're called arbat touring four rows and each row you had three of the stones so all together you had three and then six and nine twelve and what do you do with these stones in each of these stones you engraved again the name of one tribe hey you didn't only have two stones you had twelve so each stone can get the name of its tribe the first stone was the second one was shimon lavi yahood then you actually engraved the letters of that shame as the pasta continues the stones should be engraved with the names of the banay israel stame esther 12 names these were embedded these were engraved 12 names each shaved had one stone that corresponded to that particular tribe and the last one of course was binyamin he was the youngest one and that's was the the fascinating thing is as you just asked why did you have the same thing in both of the garments it's not like the other garments had the names of the jewish people it would seem like a redundancy i understand you want the kind goddel to have the names of claudius engraved but twice on the aphrodite and on the on the a foot it was just one type of stone avene shayham which on the kaishan happened to be the rock that was given to joseph joseph had the shayan the onyx that was the rock used for yosef and that was the two stones used on the a foot but you have the twelve names in the a fight and then you have the twelves names in the kharshan but the difference is in the a fight it's divided in six and six and the fascia everyone has their own stone their own space because you have twelve you don't have two you have 12 as i said four rows in each row you have three yes what does it mean it should be done kamasa a for the same fabric the same materials are used for the aphoid you also use for the kaisen you're asking a question why does he have to say kamaisa afa there's any way specifying the materials you need for the kashan so it seems redundant to say kamaisa aphid right that's a very good question great question why do you have to repeat it you're anyway telling me the fabrics that you're using again you're not just making reference to the aphrodite and we have to infer it you're saying it explicitly so why does the turtle have to say good another great question now here comes another fascinating mitzvah and at first glance it would seem like a very strange mitzvah and please go to your next source this is the third source on the source sheets tetsava perek so here the numbers are easy to remember 28 28 exodus 28 verse 28. foreign now it's time to tie to connect the koshen with its rings to the rings of the aphid using a turquoise thread to connect the two villain the breastplate should never be dislocated or removed from the aphid and if you'll see in the picture you'll see what they did you would think that the breastplate how do most people have something staying on their chest or their heart it's called a necklace right i don't have to ah it hangs it's a necklace that's what the question was so you would think you would have a necklace around iron's neck the coin goddamn and this would allow the breastplate to hang that's not what happened the tyrus says the koshen remained suspended because it was connected to the aphid so if you see in the picture you'll see that the aphid the apron when it comes up on the two shoulders there's two rings on the top those two rings have a thread inside of it those two threads of turquoise now extend downward to the chest to the torso of the kangaroo and they connect to the two rings on the top of the kharjan and that holds the koshen on top if you go to the bottom of the ocean you'll see again two rings these are called taba sah and again there's a turquoise thread in each of them and they go downward and they talk they are tied to the rings on the face of the aphrod on the garter of the apron and this allows the koshen to remain fully uh fastened fastened that's the word fastened to the apron the turret says for example if it wouldn't be tied on the bottom so then the bottom of the breastplate would sway back and forth even though it would still be connected on the top but that's forbidden it can't move from the a foot if it would be connected on the bottom not connected on the top it also wouldn't work it had to be obviously it had to be fastened tightly on the top and on the bottom so when the cayenne god will put on his garments the aphrodite were always not just connected not just near each other but they were tightly fastened to each other that the never moved away from the aphid as rashi says it was never nividal it was never misaligned it was never separate it never even moved a little to the right to the left off center of balance it was always tied strongly and powerfully to the aphid the rambam and the next source formulates this practical law rambam hillchrist this is maimonides the laws of the vessels of the base amicus chapter just see how he defines it practically um you take chains which weren't chains made out of metal but chains made out of so this church called change but basically it was it was connecting a connecting instrument some form of hashes is like a shallows like a connecting instrument that goes from the rings on the shoulders of the apron remember the apron came up on the shoulders and it went down till the rings of the khershan on the top kadesh they should experience vegas so that the two garments become interlocked or interconnected vacus which means they cleave to each other quoting the passage of course in tetsava the khushan shall never move away from the aphid and the rambam says this is one of the 365 prohibitions we know that there are 365 mitzvah slices that were given to the jewish people 365 things that the blueprint of hashem for the jew and for the world deems these things forbidden one of them is what does that mean practically somebody who decides to move the kaiser from the aphid there's different types of yatsaharas in the world one of them apparently is somebody may be moved i don't know why but somehow this guy doesn't like the position of the khash so he's going to move away the question from the aphid allow it to sway um and he's going to undo this intricate connection between the two derek kilcu in a way that he wants to ruin it sometimes a person makes a mistake obviously these things happen we make mistakes but if it's done intentionally in order to ruin this connection like there's the penalty of lashes now practically speaking to get such a penalty wasn't easy because you had to have witnesses and the witnesses had to warn the person and the person had to be warned not only that you're not going to do it but the consequences and then the person had to acknowledge verbally to the witnesses that he or she understands everything they said and they're still doing it and then they have to do it within three or four seconds so you can't say that they forgot about it there was just a senior senile moment so practically speaking it was almost impossible to get malcolm because if you really did this all you had to be crazy and if you were crazy anyway couldn't get punished so it was really very difficult but that's not the point the point is that it's a serious prohibition with a serious penalty so that there is so you think that the breastplate was hanging from the neck like a necklace no way no it had to be connected to the aphid and had to be fastened on both sides and that's the way that the khashong was carried by the kain gundle every single day during the avoider and now the obvious question is what's very good what's the big deal right what's the big deal if the question sways a little bit from the a fight to the point that we say it's one of the mitzvoth slices just like a jew is now let him eat blood and allah eat pork and aladdin i mean there's different levels of penalties but this is uh isr it's one of the prohibitions in titan the question is why go ahead how it's attached on the top is there as much description on how it's attacked on the box yes yes in the sword streets i didn't put in all the verses but if you look up our statsava the toyota is very detailed about how the aphid was made how it's attached on the top how it's attached on the bottom and rashi is very thorough in explaining it and today's commercial they have a lot of pictures to make it easier for the reader because when you just read the khomeshin rashi you know you have to use your imagination it's not always easy to imagine it but like these pictures and many others many mushrooms have the pictures but here it's actually pretty clear it's pretty good here yeah you want to know if he slipped it off in the evening when he uh when he went home the question is how did he get out of it each night he went home at night and then he put it on in the morning before he started that void that's a good question i'm not sure did he just slip it did he untie it or did he uh right right you want to know if at night he was allowed to open up the bottom means during that while while he was dressed with it it's interesting yeah i have to research probably says somewhere exactly how it happened so in summation before we get to the next step we discuss the fact that the names of the jewish people are on both garments but not on the other ones only on these two which is interesting on one you have 12 on the other one you have two stones we discussed the fact that the aphid and the kosher are the only two garments that have to be connected in such a way because the pants were pants and the shirt was a shirt and the guy till was over it obviously the guy will tighten the shirt and then you had a robe that was self-contained but the ather and the khoshan had to be connected together to the point that we discuss the fact that by the eighth way that says you they shall make by the question it says you shall make we discuss the fact that by the khushan he makes sure to say it should be made just like the aphid kamayasa effort and all of these materials are are introduced both in the aphid and in the kaisen now here before we go to the next step to understand the deeper meaning of all of this and the relevance of all of this when the terrorist says you should make the aphid with gold turquoise purple scarlet and linen how exactly did it work so rashi explains and our sages knew this this was the tradition how it was done that each thread was interwoven from six in order for the thread to be powerful and solid it wasn't just a single thread it was interwoven from six so you had when you had a thread of turquoise you took six threads of turquoise and you you uh you over together beefed it together so it was that it was a solid thread the same you did with our gumma with the purple wool the same you did with the scarlet red wool and the same you did with the linen so essentially and then you took them all and then you interwove them all together so you had four times six so you had six turquoise six purple wool six scarlet red wool and six linen so that's six twelve eighteen and twenty four but the toyota says jose had gold so you had a thread of gold in each one a sick thick thread of gold in each one so you had a thread of gold that you put in to the six threads of the trailers are gonna shine so all together each thread had 28 because it had 24 from the six times four four times six but in each one of the four you had a thread of gold so each hook each thread was the strand really was comprised of 28 strands seven strands of each if you want yes so that would be 7 14 21 and 28 yes and the question was made exactly the same way and of course 28 is kayak which is why i mentioned that the pasta kebab and the aphrodite are imperial and the passage about connecting them is it's not random as we shall see in the continuation of the class i'm just inserting that into one of the exhibits to holding your brain based on the explanation at least one of the explanations of this we find in the writings of thyrizal there's a safer called tami hamitzvah's the reason for mitzvos that was transcribed in vital who was the great student of the arizona he was the rabbi in damascus and then he came to tsvas to learn by the arizona in the 1500s and in his safer timely mitzvahs on the mitzvahs he discusses this albeit in very mystical kabbalistic terms there's also a safer called panami office a commentary on hummus that was written by repinkus horowitz who was the rav of frankfurt frankfurt in germany frankfurt mine he was a student of the market of miss rich he's known as the baal hafla hafla is harav pinchas levy-ish horowitz it's but he has a commentary on hummus called ponemyoffice the beautiful face beautiful countenance and there in parishes he also has a long explanation about this then there's a safer called authored by the samarth zadek who was the grandson of the balatanya and there in parish is a long explanation and i also myself had the privilege of hearing an amazing explanation that brings it all together which i heard from the laboratory many years ago of other the 21st of other 1988 which was also partial to sava so combined from all of these sources let's take a look what our resell says it's your next source one two three four fifth source in your sword streets taiwa mitsubishi la rizal parishes translucent glass or non-translucent glass in other words sometimes there is a material or an item that is translucent it allows for that which is inside to shine through it that's called aspaklaria because means it's opaque it's not so clear it shines through it but it's not so clear it says that's the aphid versus the one is the back the upon and one is the face upon him from the side of the face this is called the kaisen which he calls the a-ramp in a small face on the back it's called a fight what is diarrhea referring to what does he mean physically the haitian and the aphid were situated in two very different places in the body the khashogen of course was in the higher part of the cayenne goddess body it was on top of his chest on top of his torso on top of his heart it's called alev on his heart aliba the aphrodite of course was on the lower part of his body as i said it began below the waist or by the waist and it extended all the way down to the bottom of the feet to the sole of the kind goddamn now remember in the bassamites and the mishkan they served barefoot nobody wore socks and nobody wore shoes it was just their bare feet connected like hashem told moshe take your shoes off your feet because this is holy soil there was no need and it was actually not good to have shoes to create a katsitsa to interpose to create a partition so you say the aphrod went down all the way to the bottom it was literally till the bottom because he didn't have saks and shoes at avoda so the is on the higher part of the body and the aphoid is on the lower part of the body that's number one number two the kaushin is in the front and the aphid is in the back the kosher of course when you look at the kangaroo and you're looking at his face you see right there in the center of his body the culture the effort you had to go to the back to see it because the apron was not covering the front it was covering the back as rashi says like when people wear an apron it only covers the back side and it also began on the lower part of the body that's where thyrizo says this is the ponem the this is the face and this is the back what do they represent now each of the garments was not just a uniform that should be charming and interesting and appealing and even dazzling in its beauty it was also dazzling in its beauty as the passage says it was le covered el safaris it was glorious it was harmonious but it also represented a certain theme a certain energy so the kharshan and the aphrod actually represented a paradox the higher part of life and the lower part of life the higher part of the body the lower part of the body the front of a person's body and the back of a person's body in a person's life you could say there are parts of life that you will call maybe the higher parts of life the more refined the more spiritual the more sensitive the more delicate the more exalted the more glorious the more ethical the more spiritual the more sublimated and then there are parts of a person's life that are lower there are the parts of life and i don't only mean lower physically but they're connected to more baser components of a person's life parts of a person's life that may be darker more opaque more challenging sometimes even lowly different parts people have people have in their lives let's see the rasha tavis of aphid and this comes from us a fight is aleph fave of dallad your next source tahil and perik nun alef this is the famous capital in tehillim some say it in krishna alameta some say it after tikkan khatsus it's the misma that david sang after the story of bathsheba david bevoye love nassen i'm going to teach the sinners your ways so that those who transgress can return to you take a look at the first letters of these words what do you have aphoid alamda aphid is allah favor of dalit doesn't even have the end election i will teach those who sin your ways and those who transgress and that's the end aleph what about khoshan is made up of three letters for this we have the possibility zion chapter 97 in tehillim and he said friday night up in the capital leading up to the khadadi friday night we say six kapitlakh of tehillah which correspond to the six days of the week says those who love hashem loathe negativity he guards he protects the souls of his pious ones rescues them from the hands of the wicked shy mir is the acronym of shin those who transgress those who sin those who miss the target and is shy protecting the souls of the pious ones in fact christian as it says in swarm is the same numerical value as mashiach is 358. known as 358 and mashiach is also shin and mem is 340 plus uh there's 350 plus s8 why what's the connection what's the connection between the two because it really represents two different parts of a person's life my higher life my lower life the life that's associated with my front and the life that's associated with my acharam with my back very few people can be defined as exclusively being a haitian or being an athlete most of us vacillate between the two people have very ideal lofty ambitions and sometimes people have darker besides their personality right well they call it the good and the bad and the ugly we celebrate moments of of deep brightness and luminescence our face is shining but we sometimes have to battle with difficulties and challenges and darkness sometimes life is a journey of serenity a cruise through tranquil waters in a beautiful serene sea or lake but sometimes i need to navigate storms and tsunamis and hurricanes i'm in a sea and the sea is extremely tumultuous and i feel startled i feel overwhelmed i feel confused sometimes i find myself not a crew as a cruise in the sea i'm not cruising in a sea but i find myself on the front lines of a battlefield there are moments that a person feels their destiny or their vocation or their purpose with great clarity and certainty and there's a lightness pun intended there's light and lightness in their psyche there's a lot of hope the heart is alive the heart is fiery and alive there's passion there's wholesomeness there's deep connection with myself with hashem with my loved ones with other people but there's moments that i search for my place in the world i hear the question ayaka the question that hashem asks adam after he gets lost existentially and spiritually where are you there's moments i'm overtaken by guilt or by by deep shame or by darkness where a person is disturbed and distracted by internal or external challenges i may have deep fears or anxiety or wounds that i don't know how to heal or they're not easy to heal or a person may have tremendous tension in their life that they feel in their body some people struggle with with serious serious addiction or other forms of of challenges that really slap me down some people struggle with with deep mental anguish or or mental illness that can take me down into very low places sometimes i could find myself in in quagmire sometimes i find myself stuck in quicksand or in mud it's interesting the pun the aphrodite has a garter the khashoggi doesn't have a guitar it's a breastplate the aphid has a guytle and that's how it stayed connected to the body the torah calls it a fight is that words used for the belt for the girdle for the garter in yermia there's a very powerful passage jeremy apparently you'd gimmel prosecute aleph chapter 13 of yermia is a very very sharp chapter you could call it a bleak chapter if you want but there's a pasik there very very telling possible the navi says in the name of hashem just as a person takes an azer an azer is a belt a girdle a garter and clings it close to his or her waist to the master ish to the loins that's what the garter does you tie that belt and it's clinging it's clinging toughly there he says bhakti god says that is how i connected the jewish people to me like a gartle i wanted they should be my nation my people for fame for glory for splendor but they did not obey because when a moat when a person is in that space of aphoid the person needs to hold on very strongly i have to connect myself very strongly because i'm in a difficult place i'm confronting challenging moments i'm confronting lower parts what they call the lower angels of the human psyche i'm not in touch with my full presence with my face the back is a metaphor for that which is not capturing the full plymouth pondemous premius the full depth the full intensity the full presence of the human life so a person needs to really hold on very tightly again when i'm traveling through serene waters it's a tranquil cruise i don't have to hold on tightly but when the storms threaten to overwhelm me and become a shipwreck physically or conceptually i need that gartel to able to hold on extremely extremely tight the word chef is also from the word mahshava khaishev is a thought because thoughts connect you to places you know we sometimes obsessively think about things we call it internal mental chatter remember that your thought never shuts down people are always thinking you may not realize that you're thinking but you're thinking and even when you're thinking about the fact that you're not thinking trust me you're thinking and to find that stillness and thought is very difficult about shampoo once said something very powerful he said sometimes the whole avoider that's demanded of a person at a particular moment is to deal with a thought you know sometimes we look at life and say it's all about actions and yes actions reign supreme but he says sometimes my entire service of god is to deal with a certain makshava really to get hold of a certain thought to deal with a certain thought to confront a certain thought to have compassion for a thought to to cultivate a thought to to substitute a thought with another way of thinking so that's keshev at this moment i really need myself i need my thoughts to be able to be worked out to be able to identify where the thoughts are coming from and where other thoughts are coming from take a look at the gematria for a moment of the two when you look at aphid this is the source above your meal aphid image the word aphid aleph fey dalid is paid dalit and aleph is 85. 85 with the kylo kylian mean sometimes you include the whole word has one more it's 86 which is the amount the miracle value of hashem is named eli kim 86. it's also the numerical value of the word hateva which means the nature aphoid with avov afraid with avov is yud and hey and hey together with the name adna al of dallad nunyut youth cave of case 26 al of dallad nunud is 50 plus 10 is 60 plus 5 is 65. so together you have 91. that's aphrod aleph fave of dalit without above it's 85. with above 85 and 6 is 91. that's together utkevka and aladdin what's the significance of this hashem has different names utke utkevka represents the name that is the core of existence he was he is and will be hashem represents existence when somebody says i don't believe in god i ask them okay do you believe in existence of course so you believe in god we don't have in judaism we don't call god god we call god existence you don't believe in existence everybody believes in existence so you believe in god you just call it existence but that's yut kevke it's the organic it's the essence of existence it's the reality of reality or do you believe in reality of course i believe in reality so reality that's a chef it's the reality of reality and everyone is part of reality there's nobody is this table part of reality am i part of reality i hope so try to be it's good to be part of reality part of reality means you're an aspect of hashem you're part of reality he's the reality of real that's him the word teva means tubu when something drowns it's called tavia it's covered up by the water in other words that the organic essence of existence is eclipsed that's submerged to buvayamsaf that's the word teva the word teva means it's all divine but it could be submerged it could be concealed and that's the gematrix of 86 which is ali kim that's a fight aphid with avov so you have the vow there is a flow but it's hawaii with adna al of dala dunyud is ada shem which means my master there's a difference between yudkevke and al of dalai nunyut when you call god existence it's not my master it's existence it's me i am part of existence my master could be understood as separateness i have a master and my master tells me what to do so there's two types of mitzvahs there's understanding of hashem speaks to me and understanding of mitzvahs hashem speaks through me it's and and both are real there's the element of adam's moments that i feel i could feel separateness and i need my master to tell me what to do to tell me what not to do that's the concept of adain whatever it was whatever is whatever will be the summation of all of it and beyond that is divine energy so the mitzvah is not god talking to me it's talking through me it's talking through the essence of existence it's not for today's sheer but that's one of the differences what's explained between masculinity and femininity men are commanded at least with the siddhas the past thing is to wear yamaka yamaka they say comes from two words you know what it is yuri may kale it represents your shaman that is something above my brain there's something above my head so shouldn't a woman wear yamaka he's saying you wear a shirt till it's hard enough you don't need a yamakosa a spitzel right you don't need that okay so let's put it a little more eloquently if i may no no no i mean i'm just going to define it in words but beautiful yes i i didn't mean casual what you said wasn't eloquent i just mean i want to put it in the context of what we're saying there's the concept of ayamalka which is above me that's one concept that's called adna al of dalai nunyut but then there is the concept that the very being is a yamaka the very being is a manifestation of the divine and that's the concept of yudhi vaave and that's generally the difference between the masculine component of judaism and the feminine component of judaism so when aphid which is begumatri la kim without avof coming into adna it's the way the person and this is on a pretty lofty level but it already teaches us that we're dealing with the lower part of existence where there could be separateness where there could be detachment and therefore the person is summoned and invited to understand the concept of adnos to understand the concept of mastery so it's the way yut kevke trickles through and is filtered and processed through the name adana that's why aphoid is the gematria not just of ut kevke but of adna we said is the gematria of mashiach that's the concept of redemptiveness vinniglaqvoid hashem the core godliness and holiness of a person emerges and that's why it deals with the higher part of the person versus the aphid which deals with the lower part of the person and the back of the purse now if you'll take a look in the next source sheet the second to the last yalcotrimony moshe didn't want to take his job to go to egypt and liberate the jewish people i have an older brother aaron hashem says don't worry aaron levy is going to come to greet you virach of samakhbeliba he's going to see you and he's going to rejoice in his heart now those are important words because usually an older brother for aaron to see moisture his baby brother become moisture banana it could be difficult people are people it's easy to get jealous and envious so aaron is a good man he may greet moisha verbally and tell him wow i'm so proud of you marshall you're the navi but the question is what's happening in my heart you know sometimes i had an uncle his name was rip small leviton so he used to say it says in so that the thousand for you should have a leave in isbar should have a humble heart at our hearts so he used to say i like the thousand for chakras i like why he said he has a lady in his bear why does he have a lavender because he thinks to himself i should have darwin music because music is much more long and much longer and everybody already comes to show by music so he says i like the concept for shakras he has a lady in ishmael i should have died with muslim even if you're gracious about it but deep down you know eggbert the heart it's hard you know why not me why not me i'll smile i'll be nice i'm a gentleman i'm not a kairo i'm not going to show my envy so hashem doesn't tell i don't say my sharing is going to be nice of a she's going to have that's aaron he's going to celebrate in his heart much of success so the madrid says something fascinating the heart that celebrated the greatness the success of his brother that's the heart that wears the kharshan with the urim and atom in the in the breastplate we know it was folded and there was the urim and tom ura means light urim it illuminated toma means matam it made wholesome that was in the goddamn had that ability to illuminate difficult situations and to bring wholesomeness and completion to dilemmas and doubts that the jewish people had over history this was all in the spiritually it means and it was hashem's name inside because the kharshan represents that aloof that state of aloofness and sublimity where the person is filled with urim filled with light and filled with tumim filled with a sense of wholesomeness that shaymir nafsha is khasidav where the aphid represents a completely different side of life now in life we often tend to separate between the two and it's very natural we tend to create a golf to create a a partition on a pizza a dichotomy between the two there's a voice inside of us or a voice that we bequeath from others or a voice that we share with ourselves that tends to separate the two and it gives me two options either it tells me to escape to my kaisen to my shoimer nafta of world or it causes me to gravitate and that's a good word gravity because it's the power of gravity that schleps you down so it's actually a good word to gravitate towards the world of the aphid so the torah comes and gives us a fundamental mitzvah in life you're not separate the question from the aphid not only do they have to be connected to each other but they have to be fastened tightly to the point that they're always functioning together it's not that they're both there and you acknowledge them both it's almost they're not one garment they're two there's a khashner and they have a different design and they're situated in a different place but nonetheless they never sway from each other they're always fully aligned with each other they're always fully as the rambam says yidbuku they're with vacus they're always connected always integrated what does that represent it represents the fact that even the lowest parts of my life even the darkest parts of my life even the parts of my life that are connected literally physically emotionally spiritually to what you would call my helicopter my lower components my darkened components i have to connect it with the i have to connect it with the highest most sublime most spiritual dimensions of myself there is now let it be any hevdle any any half dollar we call it abdullah any separation between the two i have to create a very deep kinship or intimate relationship between my kosher and my aphid in other words i need to learn to integrate both parts of my eye both parts of my being without escaping or fleeing to any one of the elements because what happens is tyrus says sometimes you want to flee you want to escape to your higher self to your higher dimension and completely forget repress forget deny your lower self the challenge of that is that when my lower angels emerge it can really really schlep me down and it could slap me down in a very very dangerous way because yes i fled and as long as i'm in this higher space everything works well but when the lower dimensions emerge what happens i don't have the tools i don't have the consciousness i don't have the resources to deal with it you know as a caller once uh kyle and hussein once told me after they got married they said our shidduch is the perfect shidduch because we never ever disagree ever so i said i want to suggest that maybe tonight you could find something to disagree about they said why would you suggest it i said i'll tell you because if shalom bias is based on the fact that a jewish husband and wife never disagree unless you're both saints and you're malachi and i know i don't know her but i know you you're not a saint you're a regular guy guy she also wasn't a saint but i couldn't say it that was the first disagreement that they're not saints that was a disagreement with me i didn't need them to disagree with me i needed said because because the concept of shalom peace means when there's two and you synthesize them if there's only one opinion you don't need shalom the problem is there's going to be a disagreement we need to learn to repair when something is not broken it's wonderful but when there's a rupture how do you prepare from the how do you repair the rupture when there's a sphere when there's a brokenness the kahala says i have seen that wisdom has an advantage over folly like light has an advantage over darkness and desire it says only islam is this i'm the only one who knows this everyone else thinks that folly stupidity is better than wisdom and darkness is better than light so the balatani explains is he wasn't saying there's an advantage of wisdom over folly and light over darkness you don't need islam for that there's an advantage to wisdom that comes from fali and there's an advantage to light that comes from darkness to the light that's born from the darkness from the struggle so if i don't have the tools to confront all of the components of my body and of myself when that emerges when i land from my escapism what happens when i sober up from my spiritual inebriation i may stumble and stumble in a very very serious way on the other hand there's the other tendency and that is i want to run only to my darker parts some people gravitate to their darker parts and they deny the holiness that's inside of them they deny the beauty the glory the innocence the idealism the selflessness the godliness the transcendence that exists in them and what happens then is the person decides i have to be honest this is who i am i am not a heavenly human being i'm a very earthy base lowly sometimes i could say i'm a grotesque this is i'm a grotesque human being yes my lower angels dominate and that is who i am and that leaves the person craving that leaves the person thirsty thirsty for meaning thirsty for purpose thirsty for their true essence thirsty for their their true inner glory it means i have to master the art of integration the art of synthesis the art of shalom make peace and again i use the word peace meticul intentionally make peace with the two pieces inside of me make peace with the fact that the khushan and the aphoid both constitute the very fabric and the very purpose of my existence a major part of existence is to confront my darkness and to transform it into light to confront my divisiveness and to transform it into harmony to create harmony from the from the colorfulness of the human psyche to create harmony from the chaos and the conflict into human psyche and from chaos turn it into a mosaic into a tapestry into a rainbow that is comprised of different colors and different paradoxes just like the aphid and the kaisen were made up of so many different fabrics but the truth is it goes one step deeper the toyota doesn't just say you need an eighth fight and you need a kharshi and you need both and you need to learn about both of them the terrorist says something much more than that much more than this and as we learned in the rambam when somebody does move away the kaisen from the a fight it's one of the 365 prohibitions in the title which means it's basically defying a fundamental rule of reality because when terrorist says that something is forbidden for a jew it's not just saying it's forbidden as a commandment it's actually describing the reality an example if i go to a nutritionist and the nutritionist takes a blood test or i go to a geneticist and he examines my genetic makeup and he or she writes me writes for me a memo or a paper and says these foods what do they call it superfoods superfoods yeah and then there's pyruvate foods yeah it's all right and then there's lethal foods i just made up a word what's the official one huh off the chart it doesn't belong on a chart so somebody's going to come home and say who does this nutritionist or geneticist think they are to tell me what to do and answer they didn't tell you what to do they just describe to you the reality of your brain the reality of your body the reality of your organism the reality of your blood type the reality of your chemical physiological genetic makeup now you can choose you can choose to build that organism to embrace it and to live a lifestyle that will keep it by hashem as healthy as possible so you can live the most optimal life physically psychologically emotionally et cetera with the most energy or the opposite again a mitzvah is the same thing we often translate it as a commandment that's from the perspective of al of dallas the yamaka above me but from the perspective of yud and hey and it's much more than a commandment it's describing reality i can tune into reality or i can tune out of reality i could make believe i'm part of reality or i could make believe i'm not part of reality a fish can do the same thing but not for long a fish could make believe that there's no law that it has to be in water but it can only do it for a few seconds but humans are more creative i can make believe that i don't have to be in water for a longer time and it could last and my my brilliant brain can adapt to this function that's what we do so when the titus says whenever you see the word prohibition it's describing the inner reality of life that to move away the kaisen from the a for it somehow undermines the inner structure the inner rhythm of life but why because the terror is saying the truth is there's no question without an a fight and there's no aphid without a hush not just i need to integrate there's no koshin if you want a hoshin you need the a foot right there and if you want an aphrodite you need a koshen right there which means the lower parts of my life are not the tragedy of my life it's not like i have to make shalom this is it everybody has their peculiars we say everybody has their tsaras everybody has their struggles that's not the way to look at it that's a very superficial way of looking at it the lowest parts of my life are actually my pathways they are the drachem they are my pathways through which i will discover my mission in life my purpose in life my raising the etra they will allow me to become aware who i am and what is at least part of my tafket my mission my schlichters in the world in other words you never have to be afraid of any part of yourself you never have to amputate emotionally or spiritually any part of yourself because any part that comes up has meaning it has a spark it has a purpose it's here to create awareness connect it to your kaisen and you will find your mashiach connect your aphid to your kaisen and you will find your own internal state of consciousness there's an old story it's one of these classics but it's it's still good as all classics are there was this old chinese woman who was very very poor and she would go every day with her two buckets on her shoulders and go to the river and fill up the buckets with water and bring it home so they had water one bucket was whole the other one was full of cracks so by the time she came home every day one bucket was filled with water and the other one was half empty because on the way home from the river to her home up the slope half of the water trickled out of the bucket after years of feeling like a loser the cracked bucket vayifta hashem as pihajavis the cracked bucket opened its mouth and started to cry and weep you know why am i the loser lama nigara here my colleague near me comes home every day with a full bucket of water and i'm 50 empty you know see the bucket is half full that's me i could never be successful and i'm always comparing myself to my colleague and i feel like such a valueless loser so the chinese woman responds to this bucket and says tomorrow when we come back up from the river to the house i want you to be able to look below yourself and see what is on your path and tomorrow as they're walking back this cracked bucket notices that on the path from the river to the home there are beautiful beautiful flowers lilies and roses and other extraordinary flowers and the woman says you know when i purchased you i knew about your flaws so on the path home i planted all of these flowers and every day when we go home you water these flowers and over these years these flowers have given our lives so much fragrance and such an extraordinary aroma and such delight and such ecstasy your colleague comes on with a full bucket of water but there's no flowers planted on that path and of course there's a very profound lesson here it's not that my bucket is cracked and now the question is how i make peace with it how i acknowledge it how i don't run into shame run away into shame into denial it's much deeper than that when i bought you when i purchased you i knew about every crack and it's those cracks that allow you to create that fragrance that another bucket can't create so when a person looks at their own life and they see the alam the faisham draft of the aphid and they see that i am they see a darker or lower part or different different elements that i have to deal with within myself so within my children or within my marriage or within my relationships or within my own psyche comes the turn and says there's no kharshan there's no mashiach without the aphid it's precisely the aphoid that allows me to water those plants in the world that only i could water because of my flaws because of my cracks look at every single crack you have in your life and i promise you if you look at it from a perspective of divine consciousness not from a perspective of shame and self-loathing and insecurity you will see that there is something that this person can achieve in this world only because of that crack there is an awareness that you have there's a sensitivity that you have there's a humility that you have there was a jew once came to the malsham tif and he said he wants a sileo annavi so the mosham said it's not for you you don't need it he nurged and begged and begged he gave him an avoider for ten years after ten years he did everything that barcelona had said and he didn't sell eonos he comes to the balshamptiv and he says 10 years down the drain i did accomplish nothing he says what do you mean so i didn't say leo one of me ten years that were futile the mosham says you accomplished nothing after 10 years you became a humble person what's this you accomplished nothing you became a halloween you realized who you are you think you know how priceless that is to be able to know who you are in this world to be able to know who you're not to be able to be comfortable in your own skin to be able to understand what aspirations belong to you what aspirations don't belong to you to be able to stop comparing yourself to others so the a fight is not just a mistake that i have to overcome it's not even just an obstacle that i have to somehow make peace with and deal with it's actually an opportunity it constitutes the deepest deepest opportunity for for for growth for for spiritual spiritual prosperity i think i once shared the mary nayama china writes in parishes i think it is the gemara says in yuma habbalitaria messiah somebody who comes to be purified hashem opens up the door for him somebody who comes to be if i want to contaminate myself i'm sorry somebody who comes to purify himself hashem helps him habalataya somebody who's coming to become tummy you want to contaminate yourself poison they open the door for him hashem doesn't take away free choice he opens the door says why by the taher it says messiah in line by latami it says poison lice he says when somebody is coming to be purified or to purify others they help him when somebody is coming to be matama themselves in other words somebody is struggling with something that might contaminate them poison life a person has to know that this is their entrance this is their pesach this is their entrance to touch the divine or as he puts it when i'm struggling with something that's to that could contaminate me that can derail me poison like this is my pesach as he puts it for ruach for divine inspiration what does that mean habalatami is such a nuisance he's saying no if there's something i have to deal with if i work this through if i reveal the light in this place if i bring in divine awareness and higher consciousness into this place poison life this is [Applause] this is my portal this is my path i can't enter my path i can't find my gate every person in shama has their their gate how do i find my gate many people walk into other people's gates but if i walk into your gate you know like in the amusement parks it starts buzzing i can't go into your gate i need to go into my gate how do i find my gates sharlasha my gate i can only find abolitame paiskinlai seeing what i'm struggling with seeing what i have to work through it doesn't necessarily mean it was my choice but the fact that it wasn't my choice doesn't mean i'm a victim to it it means that this is part of the gifts that were given to me even though it doesn't look like a gift it looks like anything but a gift but only through this can my hair should become the kharshan well there's no kosher without without an aphid there's a story there was a big hostage of the balatani's name was yakuzil leepler rip cushiony epler and he was a very spiritual jew and he once came into his rebel and he said in yiddish chop off my left side which was an expression of saying get rid of my eight sahara just chop it off enough so the balatanya went into a meditation into advacus for a few minutes and he emerged and he opened his eyes and he said with a mathias coulomb state zion it says that hashem gives life to everybody and everything so he says we're not going to chop off your left side we're going to do something much deeper give it life give it rius hashem gives he used to everything we say every morning in davonin you want me to cut out a certain part of you no you have to bring life to it you have to breathe into it what does that mean what it means is everything in a person has real life there's real oxygen there because the atom hashem gives it life it may eclipse what the divine purpose in that is so that's your goal your goal is not to amputate a certain part of yourself your goal is to bring life to it to bring a real awareness to it not superficial awareness superficial awareness is when i just surrender to a moment of anger to a moment of jealousy to a moment of temptation or a moment of addiction to a moment of guilt or shame or frustration or loneliness or isolation or freeze or fight or flight that's not acknowledging the inner life of it that's acknowledging and falling prey to the superficial veneer of it bring life to every part of yourself bring divine life to every part of yourself bring ah even the it's your was one of the great capitalists he said youth kevke is a rasha tavis yet sir but here we have to understand the difference there's something called the scaffia there's something called the scaffia means to subdue it means to transform sometimes i'm not in a position where i could transform sometimes i'm only in a position where i could acknowledge with compassion but i know that this right now i have to go away from or right now i can't talk about it for example let's talk in a marriage alone bias a husband and a wife get into some disagreement and some one of them is overtaken with anger just feeling a lot a lot of anger they may not be in a position where they could see what's behind the anger and talk about the pain that's behind the anger because anger is a secondary emotion behind anger 95 percent of time is pain i'm angry i'm angry i'm wrong because i don't want to face my pain i'm pain i'm lonely but i can't at this moment i have to say i'm in a very difficult situation i need to be quiet i need to be quiet i may need a few hours i may need a day a person is experiencing a tremendous hate sahara to something i have to just run away i have to run away to go and transform it right now i'm going to get stuck i'm going to be pulled down that's called a scaffia i have to be able to acknowledge with compassion and say right now this is not something i can transform on a deeper level there's something called this means realizing that there's a divine hidden light beneath the shell beneath the clipper beneath the husk even the atari is called clipper which means it's hiding something like teva tuvo beyamsaf inside there's something deeper and if you look for something deeper you're going to find a lot of good gems you'll find a lot of avenues time you're going to find anext stones that go over the shoulders and go even higher than the ocean and the decreasion has to be attached to the a foot not only the if it has to be attached to the ocean so for this he said the katsuki rebbe once said when you break a craving when you break a tiva you made from one two it's like when you break you break a glass you don't have one p you don't get rid of it you have two pieces and now they're both hazardous right i cut a piece of cake so now i have two pieces of cake so he said when you break your taiva you didn't get rid of it oh you got rid of it you broke it no no you just made two and if you break it again now you have four huh so what did he mean you never break your tiva no you have to understand your taiva don't pray you understand it because when you understand it the bashamtv once said when a thief breaks into my house one thing i can do is start screaming and the thief will run away and i'll come back tomorrow night he said another eight i don't know if you should try this and your house said another eight says sit down with him and i understand why he's stealing and then he'll never come back again one second so now but sometimes i have to scream yeah sometimes i have to scream but the purpose is not to scream the purpose is to work with it even when you're screaming don't scream from a place of denial and amputation you have to understand what's going on you have to appreciate that this is part of my reality and right now the best i can do is disengage from it it's a disengagement say no the srinivar of writes it says by vayimo and joseph refuses or shall shell us he says yes have told his wife name name three times i don't know that he spoke in yiddish to patipha's wife but that's a name or an egyptian whatever however you say no i don't know egyptian ancient egyptian so sometimes i'm in a position where i have to say no this is just not for me i know it's damaging i know it's destructive i can't transform it i can disengage from it but with compassion not by breaking you're not breaking a part of yourself you're acknowledging i have different parts and integration is the key understanding that i have different dimensions and they're all authentic and they're all part of my purpose on a deeper level the atamachaya school means that if you go deeper you'll see that within this craving there's a spark there's a search there's a spiritual search you're looking for something very wholesome it's translating it's translates expressing itself in something grotesque but it's not first taste and it's that's what he means a bullet tommy poiskin lie if you work through this aspect you will have the greatest growth again if you want to talk in a marriage marital metaphor the greatest harmony between a husband and a wife is from the moments of rupture from those things that would drive them apart from the disagreements from the disappointments from the sense of feeling estranged or emotionally alienated when one when when together they can work it through and see what each one is struggling with with compassion that then becomes the strongest link between them why because in that space because you took the weakest link and you turned it into the strongest and whenever you take the weakest link and you turn it into a connection it becomes the strongest and also because over there lay some very very deep vulnerable stuff in my darkness lay very very deep growth but it takes a lot of compassion a lot of compassion and a lot of courage to be able to be able to face it so what does this mean in every person's life that every part of me i have to be able to connect with my highest and deepest self no part of my life should i disassociate from my highest part my highest should not be disassociated from my lowest my laws should not be disassociated from my highest every experience every feeling even a sensation that's happening in my body is all an invitation it's an invitation to go deeper to climb deeper to reach into a deeper place to become more aware to help me reveal my authentic self my christian so what i see as my lowest dimension is really an invitation it's a catalyst it's an opportunity to touch my most spiritual vulnerable divine spaces on the other hand there's no question without an aphid there's no aphid without a haitian and there's no question without an aphid because the purpose of the haitian is not to disengage it's to infuse it's to illuminate from the lathe from the punan into the akhir mikha israel who is like your nation israel one nation on earth doesn't only mean we're one nation or a special nation this is what makes them israel that even when it comes to eretz they remain echad the afters the unity is not silenced when you come to arceus when you come to earthiness finally here we can come to the last point and that is when you talk about the jewish people there's two states of the jewish people there's the state of the jewish people the way they're in the aphid and the state of the jewish people the way they're in their hair that's why the names of the shvatim were transcribed twice not once it represents two different states of claudius by mata it says hashem spoke to you face to face i was there with my full heart the that hashem describes beyond sender iran seeing look at the king the crown that his mother made him so the mission says in time when there's a relationship heart to heart it's called face to face when hassan and akkal it says when adam and cover were created they were created like siamese twins back to back can't see each other then there was a surgery a surgical the couple they could look at each other face to face what's the difference it's a concept there's a relationship where i can't see you and i can't look at the other person in the face because of shame i can't look another person in the eyes they can't look me in the eyes so what do we do means it could be two people they live in the same house but they never see each other back to back we're connected and maybe connected by the hip as they say but it's back to back ah it's the aphid it's not the hershey it's not upon him upon him that's why moshe talks to the jews and he says sometimes your relationship with hashem is ah you're facing the back because you're facing with your back i can't see you because i can't see me i can only see you if i could see me but if i'm relation related only to my own back i can't relate to somebody else's punishment somebody else is polymeous so there's a concept of after the sin of this the story of the spies moshe tells the jewish people that shaft hashem they tried to go up there at his role the next day by apilu and he said hashem because from a face you went to the back and they they were in the desert for 40 years where the turtle says the navy says they were following there's a relationship which i'm relation related to somebody in a very deep intimate exciting exuberant enthusiastic way my face is present my premius and sometimes i'm feeling strife and struggle disassociation that's when i'm dealing with my own wounds that's called i'm in a state of akhirayam it's hard for me to see the face of god hard for me to see my my face my premius what happens eric's stroll is the face but they're going to be in the desert is when hashem told moshe after the sin of the spies i can't do this anymore let me just start over so moisture uses this is the last source of says i need now that the kayak of adana should become stronger like you said hashem and he achieves again atonement for the jewish people so they could stay in the desert 40 years and the next generation goes into syria this is where al of dallas needs the kayak of remember aphoid is havaya in order to be able to link the two like the guy tool that connects you that there shouldn't be a separation because on the contrary there's the and there's the a for it and it's both a relationship and the truth is that through the eighth you reach a much deeper place that you can't even reach without it like he says as a result of the story of the miragum the glory of hashem will be revealed in the whole world not just the night sister all because the miracle was the source of all the golos and that's why the aphid was made of 28 strands remember back to 28 that's the kayak the 28th strand and he says that the should be made just like the aphid why is the khashoggian made just like the aphoid because really the two are not separate by the question he says you should make by the aphrodite says they should make himself which was in the shells himself was always face to face so you make the kash the a fight the second third person they shall make the a fight it's a symbol sometimes a person is in a place where you could say you and sometimes i say they when a person is in front of me i say you when it's third person or third people a third it's called who los anister you say they they're not here in a place of revelation you say you in a place of concealment you say they khushan is a place of revelation it's on the heart it's the front of the person when i'm looking at the punim of the person i see it aphid represents a more a deeper place of concealment so over there it says so in the jewish people themselves you have different levels you have the way the jewish people are in the state of aphid you have the way the jewish people are in the state of khushan and that's why in aphoid you don't have a special rack for every stripe in khaishan you have a special rock for every tribe because in life there's a time when you really grow into yourself when you really grow into yourself at every shape it knows exactly who it is and what it is you have your full identity it's fully integrated in aphrodite i'm still struggling i don't know exactly who i am so there's a lot of there's a challenge as they say there's a unity but the unity doesn't come from individuation yet and the khushan so to speak every every soul fully embraces its light when there's real you could see certain people there's a halo of peace and light that encompasses them because you so to speak grow into yourself and it comes through a person's challenges through their abolition and the effort is not there yet but they still have avne shayam which is the rack of josefatzadek yosef atadek had that unique ability the lofty soul who can go into the lowest places and not only was he not derailed but he transformed it that the other brothers could not the other brothers were more segregated joseph had a sinus pasture which was a multi-colorful tunic a prerequisite to the big decohana to be able to combine all of it in the jewish among the jewish people themselves you have different types of jews you have kaisen jews you have a for jews you have jews who apparently are in a very high state and you have sometimes jews unfortunately who spiritually are in a lower less sublime state comes the torah and says never ever separate jews from afro-jews don't separate yourself don't separate them it's one body it's one organism it's one nation i need you essentially just like you need me essentially the greatest error of reality is when we separate the from the a foot when the two become completely separate sometimes it's easy it's easy just to separate we don't this we disagree we can't communicate let me amputate you for my life sometimes families do it there's too much stress there's too much agony every single is another fight and another argument this one has this you have situations where sometimes a father will not speak to a daughter to a granddaughter siblings not but why because they have disagreements maybe the disagreements are serious disagreements a person says i'm in a high state you're in a low state we disagree let's just cut off the relationships we don't have fish comes the toyota and it says even if it's true that you're up there and he's down there i'm not sure it's true but let's say it's true that you represent the peak of holiness and this person represents the abyss of darkness because when i separate from you when i separate from a family member when i separate from somebody else when i separate from another jew when i detach i'm not just detaching from you i'm also detaching from me at some point sorry so in life the toyota gives here a blueprint that hashem tells me in every aspect of your internal life individually and connect collectively the haitian and the aphid ultimately work not just together but in perfect perfect synchronization have a wonderful week this class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at triple w dot the yeshiva.net donate