Do Beshows Still Work? Real Talk on Marriage & Dating

positivity and we spoke already a while ago and then recently it surfaced a new video mentioned uh and um moderated by uh Tritel Tritel And I said, "Okay, figured maybe you're not the most popular person out there, but I'm sure many people know you and I'm sure that relationships is [Music] 2025, but not too many people are willing to share. you know episode because again I think it's going to do well but I'm just saying meaning as like popular views are the sponsors whatever bution so um I'll start with the beginning how did you get into helping excuse me people and tell me what you do now like So yeah, sure. Yeah, sure. Thank you so much. And >> thank you. >> I appreciate it. I want to thank you and the panel moderated byel and panel basically. >> Yeah. and the original meaning. >> Okay. Okay. So in the panel, right? >> Yeah. >> So involved in marriage counseling. So couples enhance relationship We have a lot of success >> in this area. health and kinder emotional issues and problem. What's behind it? What's what's the underlying issue? private difficulty in relationship and usually 99% marriage relationship meaning problems problems exception emotional issue I can feel insecure. Usually marriage officially health relationships. >> Wow. and is basically couples relationship was it's hard to understand why it happened. It shouldn't happen in the first place. >> Yeah. So organization was asked was helped parents helped you gave him guidance how to do in a proper way. >> Right. Beautiful. Impressive. I love the how you came around that this is Zion. Um I'm going to be humble but also say that one of the reasons why people like me is they often say they say you have either the same amount or more knowledge than the person you're interviewing and I'm very very proud of that like I I believe I am a smart person but more than that is I always say and I'm willing to learn every day and I just want to learn and so just to get the knowledge and perspective I I'll read a book even or listen to even that I don't agree on because I want perspective and when I started reading about books about life or about relationships and marriage like it was eye opening like but like I was like wow people do these things. So was successful relationship was relationship I was very very amazed and I think mentioned crisis I always used to say a selfawareness crisis my status followers vice a lot of the podcast listeners know this self-awareness crisis and the results show the facts show in mention the 27 28 or the 30 that's the average people are getting married in the numbers and you can attest to that that the are usually the ones who are having I think better relationships friends like my friend circle the ones getting married a little bit later even for the second time are more successful than the ones who got married 18 19 20 without any experience or knowledge and they just didn't know they were just stumbling so my point that I'm trying to make is that I noticed that information is so important. Studying okay and I can do this. No, that's not being smart business. I learned it for myself. I think the number one reason for successful my company media clients and just business doing close to a million dollars in revenue like it's is because what else can I learn? when I take on a new client in an industry that I've never done. This is my first time doing this. Just being very humble and real applied to relationships that you can learn for parents experience. But how do you know for your kid what's best? >> Right. Right. Absolutely. Do you see that to be a trend viment mentioned with the dealith su and the chairs couples mention parents that they just have a lack of knowledge? So it's a good question. Right. Albert Einstein's the definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over and respect and expecting different results. >> Right. Right. >> So yeah focused of marriage like relationship successful. So I'm not sure about it. So [Music] Yeah. >> Um I strongly believe as successful meaning I myself successful marriages community >> and I do so so this is my point. My point is smart and the educated um is the the chance is huge. >> Mhm. >> Right. Right. >> But I personally don't believe us. Correct. Because you grow together basically >> grow together. So again meaning Right. So like how about like think about it. It's not only financially like what are you talking about like yeah 100% at least We have to think about it, right? >> So relationships especially in the community you don't see anything else. like what are we doing? Beautiful, beautiful, but what are we doing here? >> Yeah. >> So, I love it. They said literally recently he said I love what you just said the leap shaft often meaning which I believe that that's okay but at least when the skin clear that maybe you haven't seen this between your own parents, but you should know that deep inside we if they do, we do love each other. We do we do have a great relationship. Understand what marriage is about? For some because it's real, for some because they're just trying to hide and protect. Um, how does a how should a parent act um with their spouse around their kids? What's the at least to boundary that you think is normal? What should be that what's the boundary? and and what should be the boundary that will still give their kid a healthy perspective but not overexpose them or not or not be out of allowed >> right so a challenging question but I don't think it's challenging because I believe I'm not sure Right. Right. Correct. Like it's not like you see it in a second. Yeah. You >> see it, you feel it. And and personally like I I think meaning you don't have to explain them shaft you don't have to I think automatically they look forward for it >> yet and the opposite is also true meaning like it doesn't work for him >> so it's also important to communicate with the kids It's totally okay. Wow. >> Wow. Wow. >> Right. Yeah. And so bedroom and this can't feel by the relationship relationship >> respect >> and and and talk about it because if you don't talk about it like 2025 opinion, >> right? It's very tragic. Right. Right. >> So, it's very sad again. Yeah. Right. [Music] Wow. Yet the fact I feel really bad for you. Right. >> Yeah. subject. I feel like trauma is sometimes a word that is thrown around. Um, but trauma and a disregulated nervous system meaning at peace and there was nothing really I could do about it. I can survive but I couldn't live. I couldn't I really couldn't thrive like a bad trauma good or bad um and then they live with that. So for example at a young age he the kid could be literally a little baby or two three years old and relationships are not good story for the parents You know this is the is that the response system is yet disrespect. disrespect then that's their natural instinct was just act is is meaning to shrine and attack they don't want to look guilty they don't want to look bad so they can sometimes Pretend as if as if toxicity whatever like >> right >> not only you're doing something wrong but you're also pretending that they says okay the question is I I touched on a But do you see that that many people that come in here is their taka filled with trauma with which if they would have been aware and masber concept and that that dictates the way they are and the way they have a relationship in the future would it be better for them? >> Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot what you're bringing up. So touching the point um personality mentally whatever protect physically whatever protect This is relationship relationship. So the advice in public, but I want you to think about it. Responsibility is wrong. Right. >> Right. Right. >> Right. Meaning as human beings, right? Massive mistake. >> Wow. This is not okay. >> Wow. >> Right. The it's very healthy as relationship is pleasant. Relationship is good. Relationship is >> disrespect. This is not okay. disorder mental issue whatever it is but it's very important young age for the protecting the spouse okay and again respectful is wrong >> right right back to your question what was >> think trauma do people do you see acting out of trauma I'm sure the answer is yes but the question is and problems generate from problems it's not I I what I see in the last 11 years >> most marriages engaged oh wow >> most marriages the first place so I don't know if you want to go there because >> so we can go into it if you want but but I strongly believe that professionals. Yeah. But they believe was the cause from the problem. It doesn't make sense why it happened. >> Correct. >> And and that's why I'm so passionate like preventing struggle. knowledge you can do so much. >> Right. Right. >> So, so the of course is always there. I am actually the best relationships commitment. >> So, so meaning the best marriages actually terrible terrible experiences at home. >> Wow. >> I'm not going to do this. But I'm not going to make this mistake. But you have to heal it. But actually a chance the best plots, >> right? Wow. I didn't even think about that. Uh but I definitely do agree. um seeing for myself in regards to money or relationships that just pushed me to be even better like you know okay you know like how how can I be more successful how can I provide more and better to my own uh family um mentioned the the idea and that people sometimes come But the topic of delaying having a child in the first six months of a relationship, is that something that you recommend? perspective of this, you know, it's a little bit of a controversial topic, but it sounds like there is a response of them is different. I don't know, but I'm curious to hear your opinion. >> Yeah, it is controversial, but I do want to talk about it because >> Exactly. Right. Especially those kids. >> Yeah. So changes any story it's confidential but the engagement So the reason I think it's very important it's about the awareness >> but what I do want to say is when any concern like this guidance then be careful. >> Correct. Yeah. Because because it's very like Right. Don't take any action. That's number one. Yeah. any concern, any red flag, put put it on hold control, right? >> Because it's over. Fine. You can move on. >> Correct. >> Is get a scam? Like there's no such a thing like you're you're you're basically connected forever. You're always going to have to >> co-arent life because it's not comfortable like if the if the the kids are absolutely yes happy [Music] but >> be careful basically saying >> must be careful of course I'm not going to for them. I think red flag and and there's no reason to think. Yeah. I think I think what you need to do as a parent is open relationship. I mean it's up to you right that's mine >> basically I thinkion which shows that there is a shift in the and and that right now says okay if you want to delay it if you don't want to have a child nine months after getting married because in some sense to them it also makes sense that because you shouldn't be messing up a child's life >> right it's not only messing up a child's life Right. It's very hard to get close to each other especially in like right so yeah but but again any red flag right it's control right beautifully said thank you um is the process when it comes to dating how do we approach that because He was saying again and he was saying you know you know but maybe yes go out in a dining room how it's going to be for you your life outside of a dining room like and that's what they say dating the idea You get to see are they respectful? How do they treat others? Like so many things. Do they give a tip? Are they nice to the waiter? Are they nice to others? The response. There's so much more you can see when you're out there. So dates restaurant the hotel. You sit in the hotel for 10. We deise the parents and whatever. But my question is what is the right amount of dating? What is the right approach to dating specifically? I get the messages from the hotline voicemails and thank you and they're about to enter dating. What's the right approach to dating? And the controversial part today question is that but barely you have people especially in the community. Okay. The approach and that's what why is so helpful but they didn't sign up yet. What do you think is the right approach to dating or maybe is just different for everybody? >> Right. So, so is dating dating show I mean whatever it's it's complicated is the process of getting to know each other in either way. >> Very good. Very good. Because I I am dealing a lot with with like dating coach for second marriage meaning mention was in community second marriage date. Right. Right. >> First marriage show second marriage dating. Yeah. Right. So, so I am a dating coach for for second marriage for for whatever singles, divorce people. So, but but what's the proper amount? So, the real answer before explaining it is there's no answer. >> I mean, the real answer is that there's no rule to it. >> Yeah. Like you talk about relationship, you talk about life, there's no numbers, there's no like the point is you have to feel comfortable and lectures it's not an option 100% convinced 99%. So of course 100% we all know that and mistakes massive mistakes but 100% to have the matter. It doesn't matter what you're doing, but sign an agreement for life. 100% convinced that this is the right agreement. So there's no webinar question was it the right amount one or two or unlimited? So one or two? Okay. So I want to ask you a question. She has a very good time. 100% comfortable. I will get to know him more and I will get more comfortable. In question of the webinar, what would you say? Would you say it's over or would you say of course go out again? So Alam Gford go out again and okay I think but I'm not 100% but so what do you think we should do? Of course. Right. So my point is yeah >> but I don't believe in numbers. I believe of relationship we're not talking about numbers here. two complications in the families whatever. Wow. What do you mean? Why? Because answer your question. I don't believe in numbers and has mentioned especially in the community mention can feel uncomfortable will be dating. So again I don't system is actually system it's very good if I mention this right it's successful but serious decision [Music] 100% convinced as I want to do this >> wow yeah and that If I understand correctly what you're saying is you're sensitive. You're not ignorant. The limits of of likes of the limits of visa is automatically openminded and let's say even you know that they have access or or a smartphone something like that. Maybe tell them if they maybe for some kids maybe it's traumatizing that they go out on a on a date the first time, right? So keep them in the in the living room and and have them feel safe. But if you are here to understand your child, >> then >> there's so much more that you can accomplish because and they trust you. They'll share with you. They they'll give you the real feedback. And if I'm not mistaken, I think parents are very very open-minded in today's days. So while they are from a different generation in the generations from generation Z to X the generation and it's true I I see it clearly um but understanding is automatically do the flexibility and the comfortability um for a second is this a free website is Uh does it cost money? Is it courses? >> Is basically courses mean for now like but courses it does cost money. >> Okay. meaning the quarters courses which is available online available on telephone >> and courses stepbystep guidance how to go about it like >> okay so the website is.comcourses.com is the website >> so kev kh a r i mcourses um.com and the phone number. Okay. So yeah, they never get a chance to to call. >> Yeah. My next question 718400 >> 7732. So shoot them courses is k e s h a r i m c o u r ses.com and the phone number is 7184007732. >> Okay. Thank you. Okay, please. >> Sure. Okay. So, my next question. Thank you. Thank you. Same here. Yeah. Thank you. Overall general questions and how do they know that they is my spouse and the day is my spouse and um if you can just throw out the knowledge whatever comes to mind and second of all how do you actually keep a good shias or how do you elevate it from where it is right now >> rightas showasis Right. So I believe so well I I think it's it's very different. [Music] So in the show the main focus is actually how to ask information. >> Oh wow. Okay. >> So because I believe and do the proper way. It's fascinating because most people think mention like no one wants to talk bad like kind of negative. Yeah. So actually um a kind of a trick like real information. So so the the process from the show is the one in the process. Wow. >> Like you you're going to be the oneision totally fine. I'm not okay with it. I'm totally okay. But comfortable. >> Yeah. Right. So feel uncomfortable like simple and red flags questions the basics Get again comfortable. [Music] formed different situations but family. Okay. So family. >> Wow. Yeah. So actually Wow. Now is your chance. Wow. Yeah. Right. And now is a chance. Right. So again, in general, It's up to you. And that's the most important. Yeah. The feeling. It's your choice. >> Yeah. >> The marriage is hard. They can't feel right. >> They can't feel it's mine. The mistake was in the process. It's your choice. And what's the problem? That's the worst mistake. Okay. [Music] Wow. Okay. It's a compliment. You look younger than that. Very nice. >> Thank you. Um this is um a lot comes up for me if this because sensitive topic but so much taken out of like especially and again discuss and parents grow up. Sometimes he went back thousands of years and compassion compassion for compassion. It's like wow and that they We don't want to get hurt. We don't want to. And that's probably why parents sometimes just they just push their kid. It's okay. This is this is okay. Let it >> Yeah. It's it's it's it's very powerful what you're saying and and I think it's more than that. [Music] the awareness and the knowledge and the trust. Yeah. Right. So, so the problem is Right. >> For the rest of their lives. Wow. Wow. And it's so it's so heartbreaking is heartbreaking about the kids for the rest of his life. How does he how's he supposed to face his family, his own his own kids? This is a trauma. divorces are trauma >> 100% and and and this has to prevent so so that's why I'm saying the reason [Music] yeah painful question like what should we do Right. >> Like is a struggle >> as a black single it's it's it's a struggle is a struggle >> bution of devices prevention. because I don't believe in it. I believe it's a trauma and it's very hard. Right. >> Right. So prevent you can't prevent it like manifest the attraction and doesn't go like he's stuck right but the point is I think that's very important. >> Yeah. as I mentioned. Okay. Fore possibly acceptance mind but Emma's acceptance of mention and it's always good to be on the right track but acceptance mind And the point is well and I'm telling you the struggle for 100% 26 27. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. >> So the point is Yeah. of course right because the struggle is Yeah. Well, it can have a few meaning meanings but I think one of the main meanings is that mentioned a guy and his daughter the saying dealing with second marriage is the mistake one and the second marriage is the real one. So it's like okay experience 27. [Music] Wow. >> Think about it. He might just be lucky like says okay down journey concept. I'm curious your opinion of this is that um enjoy the conversation. >> Yeah. Um I'm going to go another few minutes but um with somebody and they see the nish in invelt meaning this is this is this is kita Michael's of the ideas in divorces um in invelt in order for you to get to know somebody you must be married to them in order for you to introduce this person to your family you have to get married to them so there is a there's mcken z mcken vuk Um, exactly. Yeah, thank you. Doesn't have to be so bad. Like, you know, especially. Okay. So you got into a relationship with a person and then I was like okay good point. So I I I I want to correct or maybe not correct maybe I just want to share my opinion that in communities divorces according to the secular notes but according% >> exactly divorces I don't know I didn't take the the numbers but in general the community Um but the idea was these sounds interesting out of the box >> but um the the problem is as most divorces and messi how to avoid this in other words in the ideal world I don't know like most divorces and understanding mistake most of the time it doesn't happen this way unfortunately yeah >> in a divorce divorces mention relationship. So whatever >> especially when I especially when I get my own information about it >> it's also true. So I tried on one shot what he's getting into right so I'm saying right So it's it's not it's not so simple. It's it's very complicated. It's very complicated. >> It's very interesting thinking now of it different like masculinity and femininity is like Z combined. It's very like >> everything is controversial and everything is like hack versus >> Yeah. But let's start with this that most people don't know what masculinity or femininity mind >> right and apart is the like correct in the is most masculinity mind they'll tell you no. >> Mhm. And same as with femininity, they they do not know what it means. And they also don't know what it means to cross the line. When they when they take too much leadership with too much responsibility, right? So like meaning is okay sometimes masculinity power man you know man spouse man is to my other half right but as I love saying their story like the Vegas I mentioned describes they'll always say you know seven kids and my husband And then and then they wonder why there's no intimacy. Of course there's no intimacy because I look at you as my child, >> right? Again, masculinity femin. [Music] Why? And says why is important, >> right? >> She wants to help me. Okay. So, you help her change diapers. Like, >> wow. So, right how to >> and by the way that's also I think one of the main reasons why why sometimes mentioned intimacy if somebody wants to solve this problem on one second intimacy in a relationship is masculine feminine playful at all is in masculine like like how am I supposed to respect you if you're not taking leadership ownership if you can't make the decisions if you can't if you can't lead how why >> 100% 100% says yeah so mention okay partners 5050 like whatever it could But it's it's something to to explore >> but in general marriage question I get the marriage. Yeah. >> Yeah. So most recently therapist discussed the topic and uh of um gave him the recipe for a good marriage. So level 10 marriage the recipe is vulnerability. That's the recipe meaning often is the recipe for the best marriage. >> Yeah. >> And by the way, the time to work on it is much much much like right in the beginning. They said the best marriage was was a couple and in general um number one and I'm telling them meaning if you don't have peace with yourself it's a guarantee you will never have bias like it's it's not going to happen issues trauma struggle. There's no Yeah. So you don't know how to be vulnerable. You can't express yourself from a real place from a authentic place. Relationship spouse >> right beautiful. >> This is this is something that I highly recommend everyone to work on. >> Yeah. Yeah. And I I will give my two cents as a as a as a somebody that's not married yet, which I understand. So some people ask me, they gave him advice, but I did my fair share of information and I learned my share of uh knowledge and wasab and collective uh and collected over the years is and I think that it comes down to information and communication. information mind fstein fashine the male za lines the male body fashine the female body um there is so much information and this the beauty from their courses with us because it simply gives people information so information mind why wouldn't you take the time a book about what a female is. >> I love buyers. >> Yeah. >> The the the guy is constant. Why why wouldn't you take the time? Isn't that what life is all about? >> And and especially when you acknowledge that marriage is about giving. It's not about taking. So if you're about giving, make the research. Take the time to read the books. Right. Yeah. Absolutely. Uh and the same goes for people that are already married. Yeah. Take the time and go to go for help business and personal life. The amount of help is endless. I I can't describe how many hours and hours of help I took and that's where how I got to where I got help and guidance. Don't blend information. Information is power literally. >> It's very powerful. >> Thank you. is communication is communicate. Communicate spouse like concept cheating is is plain lack of communication. If you guys don't want to make it work, get divorced. I I don't I don't understand it. So they just choose to stay in their mistake. Communicate. Communicate. I would appreciate differently like don't make it about them, make it about you. You prefer something. Communicate mention because maybe you'll hurt their other person's feelings, right? Like, >> yeah, you're basically explaining vulnerability in a in a beautiful like vulnerability. Yeah. Massive issues. >> Yeah. What do you mean? That's how you felt. Tell me more. Lack of information. >> Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. >> Meaning besides that's all she needs. >> Yeah. Yeah. She knows everything. But >> that's how you felt. Wow. Tell me more. >> Yeah. And and and is okay. >> Right. Right. Yeah. You're right. >> I don't even blame them. I don't know. of bias and marriage. I don't know. Do we not honor the I'm not sure, but maybe happy relationships like I I don't I don't understand it. Mckenzich gave him simple information if I mention but I'm glad that's changing and and you're the first to make to do something about it information again but responsibility basic knowledge Yeah. Down. [Music] Yeah. But watch these guys knowledge. Oh. Wow difference for example whatever so it's a conversation it's something I don't think family life >> yeah and many people are are they they are stolen from their masculinity or femininity as for the kitchen, right? sensitive. What is that? You're robbing her. Suddenly soft and passionate. Exactly. Patience. So choose important point. Beautiful. Yeah. >> Anyway, I feel I also feel like this is questions and I have a feeling I had a really good time with I believe that questions. I I would really love to sit down again because exactly covered a bunch range of topics that I wanted to cover but endless any business podcast because this is the Exactly. Alice is life. The most important decision in your life is who you will marry. Like relationships family. So it's such a you know wide range of topics and I can discuss then it's something that I would love to do. So >> I would be more than happy like it's my it's my honor like like generations. >> Yeah. So, thank you very much, man. Thank you everybody for listening. Link in the comments to the channel. Thumbs up means a lot. Subscribing to the membership. supporting the channel. Number cashier email keer email atgmail.com. >> Okay. Okay. And that's all the information in the description of YouTube. Um, and thank you very much. Thank you for your time. >> Thank you. Thank you, Ellie. Pleasure. Yeah. It's either marriage counseling. Um, so marriage counseling, dating coaching. Yeah. the number in the description and all information. >> Yeah, fine. Thank you.