Deep Dive Rosh Hashanah with Rabbi Feldheim 9-6-2023

um Rabbi youth fell time is an international renowned thinker and lecturer he specializes in Jewish thought and philosophy he travels to major universities and to Jewish communities to present religious ideas to secular audiences he's spoken for us many times at project Inspire NH and he is also a rabbi at the Altier in Bay Harbor in Florida so thank you so much for joining us with my fell time up just unmute yourself from a fellow time sorry okay now we're good we're good we're good we're good to go thank you okay amazing amazing so first I want to apologize after my last class what was it last week two weeks ago a few people like people I'm close to reached out I I just my son got engaged and I've been like I didn't get in touch with anybody but I I'm I have to catch up with all of my texts and emails I love all you guys and I'll be in touch it's just been a crazy two weeks um so uh now we have time to talk some more Torah and uh they will we'll talk after all my friends out there okay so uh I write the formatters I talk for a few minutes now and then you break out into rooms and then we do another little class so here's the first one prep for Rosh Hashanah you'll see when you study your papers some of these ideas spoken about and they're different from a different angle but in the talmud there are basically three different reasons um three different mindsets that we should be thinking about behind the sounds of the chauffeur what exactly is the trip what am I supposed to be thinking when I hear the sounds of the chauffeur so the the three distinct trips are as follows number one is the chauffeur is like the bugle doing Reveille in the Army it's a wake-up call the verse that they use to describe this as uru yeshenem arise you Slumbers from your sleep so it's sort of the chauffeur's revelry it's a call to action you know whatever right whatever they do in the Army that's the first sound the chauffeur a wake-up call then there's the sound of chauffeur which is called it's the sound of not bugles doing revelly the trumpets coronating the king it's done it's a whole different trip it's this dignified you know like a March you know it's it's kingship it's God is the king king of the world and we're clarinating him as the king so Roshana is the wake-up call and it's the coronation of God two different Head Trips the third trip is the sound that the chauffeur is crying it's the Wailing from a broken Soul crying out to God and each of these have solid sources and many you know elaborate ideas built on them so of course you know if we had three days of chauffeur so then we could you know get into one Groove each day and one day you can treat chauffeur as a wake-up call and read all this the thesaurus text that sort of paint Judaism as a wake-up call a call to action and then the next day we could think of God as a king and talk about Majesty and all of the you know the relationships that would come from that and and the third day we would deal with crying and opening up and vulnerability and reaching out all these ideas unfortunately we only have two days of Roshana and this year we when Roshana falls on Shabbos there is only one day of chauffeur we don't blow the chauffeur on Shabba so even though there are two days of Rosh Hashanah we only gonna hear show for one day this year so rather than make you choose one of the three I want to sort of combine all three ideas and show you how these opinions of is the chauffeur Reveille coronation or crying it's not an argument they're actually all three in a very fascinating way exactly the same thing different ways of perceiving the exact same relationship that might sound very very radical how can crying anoint um coronating they're totally different experiences so I'm going to give you a short anecdote and I think that anecdote will allow us to to think of all three of these things as really as the same thing and here's the actor I was I was shopping in the mall and uh um my whatever I saw I saw I saw a boy that was he looked like he was lost and uh he you know it's it's scary Lost Boy is a scary thing and uh I I was trying to I wanted to help him but it's not so simple in this day and age you can't just run over to a a missing boy in the mall I can get arrested so I was trying to stand on the sidelines and look for someone who might be his mother you know who might be the mother and or look for a police officer or security guard to call them over help look this boy's lost can we help him so I didn't want to go over directly but I'm sort of scanning the environment to see who might be able to help him and it's taking longer than I would have liked and I'm But as time is going by it feels like forever but seconds I I was blown away by this boy the boy is he's a tough little kid and he wasn't letting himself cry you could see the terror in his eyes and how scared he was but but he wasn't going to cry and uh like someone already told him that you know Boys Don't Cry he already got that memo so he's sitting there with a firm jaw and like panicking you could see the panic but not crying and he's darting this way and that way he's all over the place and I kept on saying to myself okay five more seconds if no one comes I'm gonna go over 10 more seconds and no one comes I couldn't find the security guard but then before I had to intervene and put my freedom in Jeopardy I uh I saw the moment that he saw his mother and you could see on his on his face like the relief his whole face lit up and he ran across the mall of him 10 feet away he jumps into her arms and she's holding him and this little boy who the entire time he was lost and in danger refused to cry what did he do as soon as he's safe in his mother's arms he starts to cry like a little boy he's he's crying bawling and that's a very deep thing you have to stop when you see things like that in life that don't fit exactly your expectations you have to stop and analyze them because that's what you you you learn whole new things about the world how could that be the entire time he was lost and in danger he was strong enough to suppress his tears now that the dangers passed and everything is good and he's safe in his mother's arms all of a sudden now the the pain became so unbearable it broke through you'd think that he made it to the finish line and now the angst would subside and he'll feel safe and and he won't have to admit to anyone how scared he was but in his mother's arms all of the tears came came flowing so I I've been thinking I was thinking a lot about this like how do you understand this and I think really the it's obvious but it's important to put to articulate it properly the reason why it seems strange to us that a boy could be lost and hope suppress his tears and then have that superhuman strength to suppress tears in such a terrible predicament but then when he's finally safe all the tears come out the reason why that looks troubling to us and it sounds upside down is because we think of crying as like you know the saddest thing and if the entire time he was in danger he didn't you know submit to that that saddest thing so then why when he's safe then all of a sudden did a breakthrough but the secret is is that tears aren't the saddest thing there's something far sadder than crying you see in order to cry you have to believe that somebody might hear you that you could be saved crying is is giving Voice to my longings and my needs people cannot admit you can't be so vulnerable you can't admit to the things you want if you don't believe they'll ever happen as long as someone thinks that something's Out Of Reach it's impossible to admit to it because it's way too painful because maybe it won't happen we have to suppress our dreams we have to learn how to roll our eyes and and to sneer at the things we cared about because if it won't it admitting to it something that won't happen unrequited dreams is it's it's devastating so the entire time this boy was lost in the mall there was no way he could admit to himself how dangerous it was for a boy to imagine living without his mother is inconceivable so he couldn't even cry it's only when he was safe in his mother's arms and now he's safe it's only now that he could for the first time acknowledge how Dane how how much he wanted it it's because it's only when we believe that there's a cure there's an answer to our needs that we could admit to those needs the entire time that we're living without an answer where there's no answer we have to suppress them we have to greet our teeth and be stoic and have a firm jaw and never admit to the truths this is a very deep thing but I think it's the key to understanding Rosh Hashanah Rosh Hashanah is about coronating God as king of the world and it is about waking up and living the life that was meant for us but how do you really coronate God as king what does that mean how does one Proclaim at La out loud that there's somebody running the world that this isn't the random accident there's someone who designed this does someone who sees everything there's someone who is loving and compassionate and forgiving and just he's going to take care of me he knows what I've been through he's going to save me and protect me and he's there for our betterment how do you how do you say that it's very easy to say coronate God as king but how does that look how does one Proclaim that there's someone looking out for us and you know what the answer is to cry when a boy is crying that tells you that he's being held by his mother how do you know that someone has a mother when he cries to her that to someone who's going to save me allows me to cry Rosh Hashanah is tears it is the sound the chauffeur is the sound of crying but that is how we coronate God as king you know how you say saying God you're the king doesn't mean anything just words how do you when you when you really mean it how does that look to scream out and cry because you couldn't do that if there is no God if there's no one in charge if there's no mother in the mall there's no father of the world there's no King up there who's managing everything then you can't cry the person who cries the loudest and puts everything on the table and pours out their heart that is the person proclaiming God's kingship the loudest so the chauffeur is the coronation of God's goddess King but the way we do that is to cry to dig dig deep into ourselves and find our all those things that we're refusing to admit to all those things I wanted that I'm I'm I don't I don't want to face them because it's too painful it's not too painful because the person who made you is the pr is the one who gave you those dreams and he didn't give you those dreams to hurt you you have to live those dreams and not and and the first step in living dreams is to dream them to articulate them to face them and not and not and not not hold them back and that's how we wake that's the the wake-up call is to set out and live your life the thing holding us back from living Our Lives is the refusal to admit to our dreams and the thing that that holds us back from admitting our dreams is is is the fear that there's no one who's going to allow them to come true so the second I currently God is King now I cry crying is out crying is how I carry them and by crying if I'm waking up waking up means to take on take on the part the plot of land in this earth that was meant for you to conquer your portion of the universe wake up conquer your portion of the universe how do you do that cry find the parts of yourself that you've suppressed the enemy of the high holidays is that stoic gridditch or suppressing my own truths we're safe in Daddy's arms mommy's arms Hashem is holding us and he only wants what's good for us there's no but no place in the world that it's easier to cry and safer to cry than there pour out your souls on Roshana all right go to your rooms and we'll see you in a few minutes okay okay welcome home all right so we have 15 minutes so let's uh get to business I'm going to give you some uh fresh Torah all right nothing I've thought of before it's a brand new idea I this week in the Torah reading of the the powers that we read this week always right before Rosh Hashanah seemingly unrelated is the story of what we call the bikurim the bikurim are the oh with this questionnaire can you talk about why if the chauffeur is important part of Roshana why not on Shabbat oh okay let me see if I can mix that in somehow once I started that's good everyone saw the question if the silver is so important then why don't we do it on Shabbat um you know what I'll change I'll talk I'll talk about that um here's the total reading of the first I was gonna tell you a brand new idea but uh this is sometimes the oldies are vest so this is important very important we could do the questions at the end or by Fall time if you wanted sometimes it's about shirt it was a good question and maybe I should have chosen this to talk about to begin with it's a cool it's very cool okay it is a it's a very important question and there's a lot of answers I just want to uh I just want to give a I I think one of the deepest answers to this question what was that is right I mean if you do it in Shabbat everyone will be afraid right so runes the Shabbos I understand okay but but I'm going to give you you'll hear there's a lot of a lot of explanations here's here is here's I I love this idea it's it's it's passionate that we're gonna do this because many people need to hear this the Torah reading on the first day of Rosh Hashanah is the story of the birth of Isaac Sora could not have children and um God miraculously made Isaac be born but in the interim before before Isaac was born they were married many years they had no children Sarah told Abraham Mary my maidservant hugger and at least I'll have sort of a surrogate child through her I'm very close to her she's my maidservant if she has a child I'll feel like I have some some future through that child so Abraham has a child from Hagar that child is Ishmael then eventually Sarah herself does have a child and in the total reading the the the end of the Torah reading the part we read the first day of Roshana is a very sad story reading is it says as follows um Sora sees Ishmael the son of haggaric means laughing but it's a specific kind of these are different types of laughter because we know that Isaac's name is laughter means to laugh in Hebrew and the reason why he was named laughter is because Sarah laughed when God said you're gonna have a child and Abraham laughed when God said you're gonna have a child when they were so old they thought they laughed and then therefore they name the child laughter because it was so it's a crazy thing that they had a child at that stage of life but then you smile it says is laughing and that's where and something that somehow that's a terrible thing because Sarah says that this Ishmael has to go because she's destroying Isaac and basically the commentaries explained it's not the point of this talk but there are different types of laughter there's the innocent laughter giggling and Giddy and happy and optimistic like children laugh that is the holiest sound in the world and uh and then there's the ugliest sound in the world which is also called laughter which is the scoffing cackle of someone once they've given up trying to silence the giggliness and the optimism of others there's a certain kind of sinister cynical laughter where the world laughs at innocence and laughs at all the beauty and sort of in the kabbalistic way the two poles of the world the most beautiful thing in the world is the innocent giggle of a child and the most Sinister thing in the world is the cackle of of the this people trying to silence all of optimism and Beauty in the world teaching people to roll their eyes and give up and it seems that Ishmael was trying to take away the making fun he was the Talman says different thing that he was doing to him but the universal thing is he was trying to destroy Isaac with this cynicism and therefore Sora says that he has to leave he can't he can't stay around Isaac and Abraham Abraham doesn't want to send away it's his son and uh it's not like they have nowhere to go because hugger was the daughter of pharaoh who was the king of Egypt so she was royalty they're right nearby but still Isaac it's Hassan he didn't want to give it up and then God intervenes and God tells Isaac everything that your wife Sarah says listen to her she's right and Abraham based on God's veto of his position even though it was a love of his son Abraham goes along with what Hagar said what Sarah had said and he gets up in the morning and he prepares food for them and a flask of water and gives her camels to go home to her father's house with her child anyways what happens then is a short toe reading but there's a lot going on instead of going home to her father's house it says she she she doesn't want to leave she she wanders around the desert instead of going anywhere and eventually when you wander around long enough all the provisions that Abraham had provided and the water gets used up and she's still nowhere and now you smiled the boy is thirsty and here's what it says it says that hugger takes the child and she puts him under the bushes and goes far away from him a bow shot away because she says I cannot bear to see my child die and she goes away at a distance and she raises her voice and cries and it says then that God hears the sound of the chop the sound of the child um as he is then and he saves the child and he tells hug or here hugger Hears A well an angel comes speaks to hugger shows her a well and she takes she feeds the boy and they survive and then she goes home and everyone lives that's the story of the Torah reading of the first day of Rosh Hashanah um this year it'll be you know on Sabbath um so what is the point why is this the Torah reading it's like uh so normally we think about it because God answered the cries of Ishmael as he was meaning even though whatever even though in the future what does it mean God heard listen to Ishmael as he was because even though you small eventually will become one of the greatest persecutors of the Jews meaning just like he wanted to destroy Isaac when he was young um eventually the children of your smile will blow up preschools and buses and you know the the air and but still god listen heard the child heard the child's voice and heard the child and since he hadn't done any significant sins then he saves him and it's a story of maybe that you won't assume the story is it's a story of Hope and that that you're never too far gone and even even if we have sins God hears us it's it's really something to think about that the story of God the hearing the cries is not a story of any of the Jewish tears in history but the crocodile tears of Ishmael and that's this what we read in Roshana it needs an explanation in and of itself but I I want to ask a bigger question if the whole point of the story and by the way that's the ishmael's name the name Ishmael means Ishmael like the word Israel hero Israel ishma Kell God hears that's his name so he sort of he lives is he's the caricature of God hearing people and saving them so that's a nice idea for Roshana but the the elephant in the room is really if you read the story inside so according to what I'm saying the most important thing in the story is that your smile cried out to God and God heard him the problem is if that's the story the most important words in the whole story are missing and that is that your smile cried he doesn't say he ever cried if the point of the story is that you cry out to Hashem and he'll hear you and save you so then say he cried and God saved him what it does tell us is that Hagar his mother ran away far away from the child which is not a healthy thing in the first place but that's a different discussion um and she's like canned beer to see him die and she lit she lifts her voice and cries and it's and the only way we know that he was saying and doing anything is because it says and God listened to the child as didn't listen to Huggers tears listen to him so it's just weird that God the story is a story of crying and god-hearing but it doesn't tell us that he cried it only tells us the mother cried the one who doesn't listen do you smell it neglects the most important words in the whole story is he cried he prayed it's a Day of Prayer so I'll ask add one more little question it not only does it not say he cried it says God hears the voice of the child it's specifically he God heard the voice of the child doesn't say the tears or the cries so there's something weird here why is the most important sentence in the story missing the Torah would not skip something so important so I want to say I think it might sound radical but I think when you study it inside it might be the obvious meaning just radical at the same time is that the Torah already tells tells us what Ishmael does when the going gets tough when he's suffering or in pain what does he do he's he cackles nearingly it didn't tell us that Ishmael cried because he didn't cry it doesn't need to tell us what he did because four verses earlier it told us that the reason he was being thrown out is because whenever the going got tough or he felt disillusioned he would try and sneer and cackle and make everybody else stop dreaming and and bring everybody down elf down to his place so the Torah just finished telling us that he cackles when he's suffering sneeringly sarcastically in a jaded way so now he's suffering it doesn't need to tell us what he did we assumed he was crying and it neglected to say he's crying but don't assume that the reason why it's missing the words is because he wasn't crying he was cackling and that's and now the story is radically different that God heard the cries of Ishmael heard this voice of Ishmael that explains why it says voice because he wasn't crying God heard his cackling as he was and now the story becomes radically different what does the story become now that Ishmael was sitting there in pain suffering because he saw the world will never give him what he always dreamed of and his coping mechanism has become sarcastic sneering and cackling but God heard the voice of the child as he was what that means is he heard the voice of the child as what he really was saying God he's bilingual he translated you smells cackles and he says yes he's cackling but he's just broken he can't even let himself cry he can't be vulnerable all he can do is be sneering but I can be deeper and I can translate the voice of his tears his cackling and say it's really a cry and God says I'm going to save him even though he didn't cry and that's that's the Rosh Hashanah reading the rasana reading is is that Hashem understands all of our sins and all of our pain and he can translate our rebellions and our anger and our bitterness as prayer the ears of God are so huge that he can translate anything and that's the secret of not blowing chauffeur on this day you don't need to cry the sulfur is the tears but even without the tears Hashem knows you're crying Hashem here is your chauffeur even if you haven't been able to dig deep enough and say the words you smile not only didn't he cry he was sneering and cackling and God heard the voice of the child voice because it wasn't cries it was laughter and God was able to see in the laughter what he really felt and this is what this day we we call rosh hashana the Yom teruah the day of the Cry of the chauffeur on Shabbos we don't say Yom through we say a day of the memory the replacement of the Cry of the chauffeur because and this is what I think on Shabbos whenever we don't blow chauffeur the second holiest thing in the world is to is to blow the shofur and know that God hears our Christ the holiest lesson the deepest lesson in the world is to know that even when we don't cry even when we're yelling and we're complaining and we're disillusioned and we're rolling our eyes and sneering Hashem trans knows that it's really tears and that's the secret of one of a day of sulfur without without suffer that uh that even that even that that God can translate whatever it is that you're sending him if it's silence he can dig deep and know what really feeling if it's anger and pain and even if it's weak even if it's even if we're yelling at God Hashem hears the voices and that's why we read this on Rosh Hashanah Rosh Hashanah is for everybody not only the people who have gotten the play to the place that they're able to cry out the people who can cry are the ones who already feel safe in their mother's arms who already know that God is king of the world and have accepted that they can cry but there are many people who who who for whatever reasons they're not able they don't see that God is King and they're not able to see beyond their pain and they think that God is trying to hurt them or whatever it is and and they can't cry and Hashem says I hear your tears too and everything's a prayer and that's the reason we read this on Roshana I think it's more powerful than the chauffeur it's uh the silence over the many of us that's that that that's our prayer you know I hope that we all can get to the place that we feel so safe in God's arms that we can cry but until then it's good to know he hears us too and that just hears us but he listens he listens to Ishmael and he saves Ishmael sends he sends an angel to the cackling angry angry cynical skeptic sends an angel to save him we're not as bad as your smaller ones he'll send us angels too may we all have the most amazing happiest sweetest beautiful year and uh maybe at the end of this year may all of us know that we're safe in hashem's arms and feel cuddled and held and we should all be able to say everything in our mind Hashem not have to suppress anything a happy Sweet New Year everybody I mean thank you so much everybody fell time we do have one question in the chat box do you have time for a question or two sure certainly um so somebody asked what about caring shofar on Shabbos right so so so again so the halach articulation is is that is is that one of the reasons we don't bring show for halachically again Judaism is true on halachic levels philosophical levels emotional levels and they're all really connected but if you if you tease out the side it says that we don't blow chauffeur because you might carry it on Shabbos and uh you know how to carry your chauffeur on Chavez and uh what to understand what that really means is you have to ask like why is carrying itself forbidden on Jarvis you know because because carrying is the idea that like how does that fit with what I just said you know I'm saying that we don't blow chauffeur because there's there's there's God seeing beyond the actual face that we're showing him calls it that that you can't take the chauffeur because in order to bring chauffeur you have to carry on Shabbos so what that when the idea of cat see on Shabbos was forbidden on Shabbos is creativity how is carrying creative so the idea is that when the sun sets on Shabbos on Friday night that's your world and and to to to live in the World As You Are we hope you'll grow and we hope you'll change but that's for next week right now live as you are close the door nothing else comes in you don't move anything and it's the same exact idea as what we're saying is that Hashem hears us as we are you don't have is is the idea that you don't carry on child this means that even if it's the most holiest thing in the world that you want to carry even if it's better it's it's the best thing and we don't carry loles on Shabbos on we don't use lolov we don't carry chauffeurs we don't carry anything on Jarvis foreign what could be wrong with amitzma and the answer is nothing's wrong with a Mitzvah but you have to relate to God as you are at any moment not everybody's growing not everybody's changing and you don't have to face you don't have to be afraid to face Hashem just because you're Where You Are the idea of being able to spend Shabbos and not to carry things even mitzvahs is is the exact same idea it's the halachic articulation of this idea that Hashem wants you to know that he he can talk to you he likes you as you are and you don't need to change your world you'll change your world tomorrow and if you do I'll clap for you and thank you and be proud of you but you're good you're good now too you know this is uh this is also one of the secrets of the sound of the sofa I think it was hinted at in the paperwork you had is every show for sounds unique what makes the unique sound of a sofa it's Unique twists and turns everything that that chauffeur went through our voice of calling out to God is our chauffeur sound my life is a chauffeur sound that is shaped by all the twists and turns that my life has taken all that I've been hollowed out chauffeur doesn't make sounds without being hollowed out hollowing out is is a big part of establish offer instead of thinking of all the chunks that were taken out of me and although is that that's what allows that music that's what allows that sound and what makes your sound different than someone else's is that your chauffeur curves to the left and turns up and then goes hard right and his chauffeur goes left and circles around this way every chauffeur is is totally unique and it the sulfur is the beautiful sound of all of my experiences good and bad and uh not not to be in denial of anything in our lives God was the the author of Our Lives so slowing your personal chauffeur making your sound saying your peace is reading the script that God wrote for you and uh it's the script that you have right now you don't when rashonda comes you don't carry your Shabbos comes you accept it as it is and you talk to God as you are and uh even even if you can improve yourself and that's that's the same lesson wow thank you so much for my fellow Tommy really appreciate it I'm going to say thank you to Elisa who did all the tech work behind the scenes for us and thank you so much everybody for joining us we want to wish you a Shana Tova very sweet and happy New Year and I will keep you posted about the next program