Yad Yosef Bridal Fund - Rabbi Shlomo Farhi

Okay, let's begin. I'm very Jewish. >> Thank God. You know, I've been accused of a lot of things. Being very Jewish is my my top five. So, I'm happy for that. Okay. So, let's begin. We want to say, of course, and we want to thank, of course, our hosts uh for this, my next door neighbors for doing this beautiful uh this beautiful spread. and and everything going on inside. It's a big disturbance to have your house overrun by people and uh and of course that should pay back and dividends for your children and grandchildren that when it comes time for them to find their and for them to make weddings it should be something that happens easily speedily to the best of people in the merit of what you're doing for all the others. So I was trying to think about what we should talk about and I always like talking about things that come up from the people. So when people ask me about things, I know that that's on the people's minds and that's what they want to hear about. I shouldn't tell you what is interesting to me. I should tell you about what's interesting to you. So I always like to bring up something that recently was asked of me or recently I was attacked about, you know, etc., etc. So the first thing I want to talk about is exactly this point. Someone asked me the other day, I was giving a class at my house again across the street and this woman and her husband come over and they say, "You know, my husband is always very nervous about ainhara. Tell him it's made up." I said, "Sorry, no can do." As uh you correctly pointed out, I'm very Jewish and is a real thing. It's mentioned in the Gim. It's mentioned in the It's mentioned in the pisukim. Now, if anyone here doubts that and is a little bit skeptical, raise your hand and I'll prove it to you. But if everyone's on board, we can move on. Everyone buys this so far? Yeah. No, maybe. You sure? Not sure. >> Don't have a choice. >> You don't have a choice. Okay, let me prove it to you then. If you don't have a choice, Bam wants to curse the Jews. But he keeps asking Balac, "Move me over there. I want to see the Jews from over there. Why? Because his power was in his in looking at the Jewish people with a critical eye. Not only that, where else do we see this? The Gimar talks about how if you have two neighbors and one of them knocks down a fence between the two houses, he has an obligation to put it back up. Even if the wall between them falls down, they have to split putting the the expenses of putting the wall back up. Why? Because just the fact that you're looking at me from that window is enough to cause damage of. So you see is real in the Torah is real in and it's brought down. So is a real thing. Does it get bent out of shape a little bit? Yes. Red strings that you see some G selling on a street in Jerusalem are probably not going to help. Okay. If you wear a piece of jewelry that has an eye on it or a little kamaha hand probably not going to help. Okay. There's certain things that came from this that is already not Torah ideas. And I I love when the grandmas extend it and extend it. I remember getting yelled at by my grandma cuz there was a shoe that was facing up is it was like I broke Shabbat on Yum Kipur. Turn it over. God forbid you ever stepped over a baby, right? Unbelievable. The things that they wound up coming up with passed down through the generations. Some of those things might not be Jewish. But the idea of itself, absolutely, it's something which is in the Torah. And what is this concept? The idea is that we can do something with the way that we look at somebody. And I want to share with you, I thought of all the gimar I could share with you. I want to share with you a gim that I feel is perfect for today's event. The gim is in Shabbat on page 156. Now, I don't know if any of you study, all right? But in case you don't, you probably heard the story. But even if you heard the story, bear with me. The says as follows. I want to prove to you from that there's no mazal for the Jewish people. Mazal does not affect the Jews. What I just tell you about it's legit. Now I'm telling you says mazal does not affect the Jews. And we're going to prove it. What's the story? says the Gara had a daughter. The Shaldanss who were famous for their ability to look into the stars and see the future. They told when your daughter goes into her bridal suite, a snake is going to bite her and she's going to die. is going. Who wants to hear that about their daughter on their wedding day? He's flipping out. I bet you when people came to him with for the daughter, he's like pushing it off. You know, he doesn't want to get to that day. He's very, very scared. What happens? The day comes, she finds someone. She gets married. It's the day of the wedding. She takes off in the bridal suite. She takes off the pin that was holding her hair. And what does she do? It says she shoved the pin of her hair into the wall uh in the bridal suite. It turned out that the pin in her hair went right through the head of the snake into its eye and killed the snake. She goes to bed. No idea what's just happened. It's just in the wall in the morning. She's got to return it now to the pinach, right? Everything has to go back in the morning after the the wedding, the stick items, the shoes to that one, the thing to that. Okay. She's going to return everything. She pulls the pin out in the morning. When she pulled out the pin comes out on the pin, little snake shish kebab. The end of the story is not that she turned it into a Birkin bag. That's not the end of the story. Her father after she comes in like this, her father says to her, "My what did you do that saved your life from this terrible future that was being predicted for you from way back when in the stars?" She said to him, "Last night at my wedding, a poor man came to the wedding." He's calling out at the door of the wedding. Everyone, what are you busy with at the wedding? You're dancing. You're dancing. You're getting food in the buffet. You hear someone calling. You say, "I waited two hours to get my I'm not leaving to get this guy. Someone else will get him. Everyone was too busy and nobody heard his cries says the the daughter of as the bride who should be more busy with the wedding than her. She says I got up. I took my portion of food that they brought for me as the bride to eat at my own wedding. I gave him my portion, all of my food. He said to his daughter, you did a great goes out and he gives a speech that when a person gives it saves from death. Not only does it save a person from dying a bad death that they should die, an easier one, a nicer one, and you know, in their bed surrounded by families, it has the power to defy death, to save from death. And the proof was his daughter. Ladies, >> please only answer a man if you're listening live. They love you to take you off. >> I'm too Jewish. I have a few questions that I want to go over with you and then we will see from this gim something magnificent, something beautiful emerging. The first question is what were we trying to prove from the story? Does anyone remember right in the beginning? The beginning says, "How do we know that there's no such thing as mazal for Jews?" The story of Rebea, what was the story? If you tell me, I mean, it sounds like they got it bang on. They They said there's going to be a snake. They said it's going to be on the day of the wedding. They said it's going to be in the bridal suite. And in the bridal suite on the day of the wedding, where's there a snake? Right there in the wall about to bite her head off. So you want to tell me is sounds like ishal is question number one. Question number two tells his daughter after she says there's a poor man known to give him food and I gave him as the bride my own portion at my own wedding. Rabaka says what was he telling his daughter? You did a mitzvah. Isn't it obvious? Was he giving her a mitzvah note to show her new husband? Of course, it's a mitzvah. What was the what was a saying? So, a couple things. First of all, I want to teach you something incredible. The written by the high writes that whenever there's a element of mazal or whenever a person has a dream, if it's a good dream, anyone here ever dreamed a very good dream? Yeah. Good. Very good one. You did you want to share? No, you don't want to share. >> Go. Go ahead. >> I had a dream about both my sisters. >> She had a dream about both her sisters. >> They're going to have a certain sex baby and both of them have >> they're going to have a certain gender of baby and they had that exact gender of baby. Who needs a gender reveal when you have her? She knew before. Unbelievable. >> Now that I knew exactly what I said, going to happen in four years. >> She said it's going to happen in four years. Happens in four years. >> Exactly. >> Exactly. In four, don't dream about me. I'm scared now. >> All right, my friends. Listen to this. >> I'm going to die. >> Lots of lots of people have dreams. By the way, you know who dreams the most? Moroccans. If ever some guy comes, I dreamed and there was a camel and then I saw a person and it turned into my wife and then there was a tree and the tree was my uncle. It's like they had the craziest dreams like they're dreaming on acid. But it's crazy. It always comes true. They like connected in that way. I don't know who else could dream like the Moroccan Moroccan grandma is like forget about it. Now listen to this says the benoyada. You have a good dream and you want it to come true. What should you do? >> Don't wake up. That's a terrible dream. That's called a nightmare, by the way. >> Work on it, says the Let me read this to you. If someone has a great dream and they want it to become true, he should get up in the morning and he should write down on a piece of paper the year the month the week the day the hour that he saw that dream. Why? Because the dream is vague and dreams can be given to interpretation. And in fact, we have a that tells us if a person has a dream and it's bad and they're nervous about it, what should they do? They should find a way to interpret it for the good. In fact, there's that say that if a person sees someone pass away in his dream, it means it's a good sign. People call me biffled. I saw this person pass away. I already noticed three ladies in the crowd. I could to see already the ones that had it because they also did like this, right? Yes. And anyway, so the say what should you do? You should interpret it for the good. But when you have a good dream and you want it to come true, dreams are vague, says the Beneshai. Make it not vague. Write down the year, the month, the week, the day, the hour of the dream. And then you've locked in that little dream, the element of of prophecy in the dream. And then he says, "And then the dream will become stronger and it will come true." That's what the moran says. Now, that's about making a bad dream, a good dream, so to speak, become true, solidify. But that's not really our topic. I just wanted to share it because I found it fascinating and I thought you might enjoy it as well. I wanted to share with you the second piece of the banish. And this to me is something remarkable. He says, you know, Rabbi Akiba was telling his daughter, "You did a mitzvah. Of course you did a mitzvah. She gave her food to the guy. Isn't that obvious? The answer is what Rabbi Akiva was telling his daughter is. You could have given him a piece of meat. You could have given him half your roll. You could have given the guy one k. But what did she give him? Shakila. I took I took my whole plate, my whole portion. And I gave it to this poor person. Says the banish. You want to know why you were saved? what Raaka was telling his daughter because you did this mitzvah in the most beautiful way. And what did you do? You stuck your pin in the wall and you killed the snake. And where did it get killed? Where did you puncture it? How did you kill it? You killed it in its eye by using your by looking at this person and saying, "No, what am I? I should get up. This is my wedding. Let someone else give up their food. I waited my whole life for this day. I can't have a little echel on my day. I'm weak. I've been starving to get a fit into this dress. Right? We know that's real. I have to tell now all the kot and the mothersin-law, please eat, drink. I already had multiple people faint under a two mothers both fainted. But they looked amazing on the floor in their dress. It's not a problem. They took pictures of them like that and then they just stood it up on the wall. It looked amazing. My friends, the fact that she looked at this poor person with such an with such a generous eye allowed for the salvation to come through the piercing of the eye of the nash. Theash is the symbol of the of someone who looks at something negatively, wants something for themselves. Theash is even able to look at the biggest giver in the world and look even at God negatively. The gim says there's two guests that come to your house for Shabbat. A good guest and a bad guest. What's a good guest and what's a bad guest? Says the Gimar. You know what a good guest says? A good guest say a bad guest says excuse me. A bad guest says me. They didn't do anything for me. She was making the roast anyway. She was making the chicken anyway. What she counted how many mis she stuffed. She counted how many yadras she rolled. They were going to make all exactly the same food with or without me. I just saved them from all leftovers. That's what a bad guest says. Says the gim. What does a good guest say? Everything that they did, they did for me. Their gratitude knows no bounds. So, a bad guest says nothing was for me. And a good guest says everything was for me. What a spread you made for me. Even though your whole family's here, I'm one I gay. Yeah, you made all of this for me. That's a or someone who looks with a good eye. And by the way, haven't we all had both of those guests in our home? 50 items you made on the table. The guest comes over, your sister-in-law, your brother-in-law, your mother-in-law, your something-in-law. They did, oh, you forgot to be without a forget. Okay, I'll have it next time. There's so many things on the table and they could focus on the one thing that isn't there. That's a bad guest. Herin to the way she looked at this poor person caused her to be saved through the eye of the nash. The nash is the worst guest because what does he get from our world? What does God benefit from our world? What does God need from this world? Nothing. There's a big controversy in Lakewood. In Lakewood, controversies are very interesting. What's the big controversy in Lakewood? There's a little magnet that came out. And the magnet says, "Hashem needs every yid." Now, in case you're too Sephardic to know what a Yid is, a Yid is a Jew in in Ashki, okay? Hashem needs every Jew. Big controversy. Hashem doesn't need every Jew. Hashem doesn't need anything. So, they cut the magnet in half and they put the top half of the magnet on the bottom. Every Yid needs Hashem. By the way, they're both true. It's not doesn't mean that God needs you, but it means that for God's mission in this world, he needs you. That's why he made you. But my friends, what does God truly need from us? Nothing. He needs your shakar. You're an ant smaller than a red. You know those red little bugs that you see sometimes? You're not even sure it's a bug until it's moving. You know those items? No, I only have them in my house. Okay, we're very close. How did they not make it across the street? Okay. Yeah, they have a seat. So small. Yeah, you're so much smaller than that to Bam. If you think about the size of the universe of the cosmos, we are tiny. We're infant decimal beings. We live for a day and we die. And what what is our praise going to be worth? And still and still and yet even to God who built this world only for us. He's like a person who invites a guest and doesn't make anything for their family. Puts on a whole table only for you. Who which guest is bad enough a guest that they could say they did this for themselves? The nash does that. He says to Kava, you know why God doesn't want you to eat from the tree? Because he doesn't want you to be as smart as him. This girl on a day like we say to the bride and the groom, today is about you. It's all about you. Your makeup, you sit in a chair. Now the G, she's not allowed to go to the wedding unless I understand. And now by the way, I have to do the wedding over if she doesn't have the sweatshirt that says bride. Think we need to do another kusheen. Does she have the sweatshirt? They're going to bring it to the witnesses. Witnesses, is this a sweatshirt? Does it say bride? Things that we have, the crowns, the the hair, the makeup, the miff, six pairs of shoes for every part of the wedding, a going away outfit, a coming to outfit. Unbelievable. It's all about you. And she takes a day which is all about her. And what does she do? What does she do? She just hits the microphone. Hello. Hello. Hello. What does she do? She gives says her entire portion to the ani says the banish. How cool is this? Where does she get saved? In the what does she get saved from? We said because she has a good a good eye. But not only that says the benish. What did she save? Whose life did she save? She saved the life of the poor person. How do you say a poor person in Hebrew? Ani. Same letters as the wordin. Not only that, says the Beneskai. No. Am I just wasting my time? Not only that, says the Banish. I think it might be a dying battery. Hello. Hello. Not only that, says the Benishkai. It's hidden in her It's hidden in her father's name. >> What is her father's name? This girl, the father's name is Rabbi Akiva, what was she saved from? She gave food to the poor person. Look at the first letter of his name is again I and the rest of his name is in Hebrew. You know what a is stomach. The eye and the stomach. The poor person and the stomach. My friends, what we are witnessing is something that was cosmic, something that had to come together. It was destined to be on that night. It was destined to be in her bridal suite. But she was also destined to have an answer to that problem. I want to share with you now the answer to our first question. Again, everybody has mazal in this world and there is a mazal that you have and sometimes you get to see it play out. You know that event that you poured your heart and soul into and it didn't work out. You tried everything to get the family together. You had the best day planned and what happens? It falls apart and this one can't come and then the food burns and then you forget the thing and it get right disaster. And then that event that you barely planned, you put it together at the last second, it's a childhood memory that they still talk about. Mazal, I love asking this to people because you know what? I have a 100% success rate with this question. I always ask somebody, tell me, tell me, did people dumber than you make more money than you? I have never asked that question and not got the answer yes. Because a man loves to say that all those other people that were successful, they're dips. I'm much smarter than they are. Then I ask a follow-up question. The follow-up question is, tell me, is there anyone smarter than you out there that didn't do as well as you? again 100% success rate because the end of that sentence is did they date do as well as you? So again they answered no of course. What does that tell you? Why does this person this brother from the same family and the same school in the same business this one does amazing and this one can't rub two wooden nickels together? How come this kid gets a shid like that? The other one much smarter. You would have thought much easier. She had less issues in school. She's more personable. Lots of friends. She's waiting and you don't know what's going on. Mazal. Mazal. Mazal. Mazal. Says the you know there's even mazal for that. You know how in the to open the and you see there's 30 to how do you know which one to use? Which one gets pulled out? The seph Torah has its own mazal. Could you believe that? So mazal is there for everything. So what is telling us in mazal? The answer is look at what she did. She found a way to transcend mazal. And how did she transcend it? by doing an act of spirituality of kindness of giving of and when we have an for other people then what does say I'm going to have to for you your mazal was supposed to be bad I'm shielding you from it because you spent your time working to give someone who was having a bad day who had bad mazal and you made their mazal better this guy came to the wedding starving and what We walk away with the bride's portion, the best cut of the meat, the best piece of chicken, themed that was done to perfection, crispy at the bottom, no so, right? Not too much meat at the top that it falls off after you. It's the perfect, right? Everything was perfect. He came to the wedding with a terrible mazal and he left with a great mazal. God says, "If this is your mazal, no problem. I'll switch it for you." And that's what it means in mazali is. So I want to ask you, if you ever felt that something wasn't going your way and you want to change it, don't cry about it. Don't complain about it. Don't say it's not fair. How come this one? How come that one? Get up and change your mazal yourself. in Mazali Israel. It doesn't mean that the mazal doesn't exist. It means that it's in your hands as to whether or not that mazal will stay in existence. >> We have to use our to change someone else's mazal. And when we do that for another, God says, "I'll do it for you." Today, I know inside they're selling a they're having an auction, right? What are they selling? What's in there? What are the good prizes? >> You didn't see it yet, huh? >> Jewelry. What else? >> A trip. I thought she said shoes. By the way, >> I was like, I've never seen I have to say that was the strangest gift I ever got. You know, a guest comes Friday night, they give you a gift, they buy you a bottle of wine, chocolates, flowers. Weirdest gift I ever got. person came to my Shabbat meal and brought me shoes. I'm not complaining. They were faro shoes. I'm just saying. I was like that. Oh, thank you. I didn't know if I should put them on the table. You know, normally you want to open it, share with the guests, let everyone wear one shoe. I didn't know what to do. So, I filled it with tina. No, I'm joking. I ladies you want to win not just here but you want to win in life you need to have good mazal ultimately we do everything we can and then we expect and we wait for the mazal from that's why at what do you say mazal you wish them good mazal not only that by the way rabbis tell us that many times you'll find a girl that's struggling to get married or a girl that's struggling to have children and I'll ask them a question I was asked by my rabbis. They said, "Ask her when she was born, did her parents make a seabit? Did they make a party? Did they celebrate?" Yes or no. In our community, if it's a boy, obviously, you got it done. You got it done twice. But for a girl, it's not necessarily the custom to make a seb. But you know what happens at a thousand people come up to you and what do they wish you and your girl and your girl? Mazal to now she's a couple mazaltoves behind the eightball. So I've made mazaltov for people 10 years after they're married and then they had kids for a single girl 39 years old and then she got married before she was 40. Mazal to. So my friends, we can change our mazal and the way we do it is by showing that we in our moment of joy where we have everything where we are celebrating and we have the nice clothes and the nice house and the nice car. I could still hear the sound of the poor person. So ladies, I want to do something with you right now. I want to do something with you right now. I want to ask all of you who are married to think for 10 seconds about your wedding and how beautiful it was. >> Loved my wedding. >> You loved your wedding. And if I had if I had to ask you what your highlight was, I'm sure you could tell me. What is so memorable about your wedding? You didn't know there was a follow-up. >> Give me one thing that was standout. My first dance. >> First dance. Unbelievable. I'm not going to embarrass you and ask if it was with your husband or your father. I'm just going to say I don't know. I don't want to put you in a compromising position and you have to say which one you chose. But the point is her first day she remembers. I remember dancing in front of my wife with you know the guy who does the fire. He dropped it six times like always happens. And then the I jumped up. I grabbed the fire item off of the floor. I don't know how to juggle. And I just started dancing in front of my wife holding this torch of fire. And the photographer snapped a beautiful shot of me, big smile, trying to make my bride happy on her wedding night. That's a moment that's fixed in my mind. Remember your wedding night. If your wedding night was a little too long ago, then remember the wedding you did for your children and remember how beautiful it was. Don't remember how much how expensive it was. I want this to be good memories from the place of joy of Sima where everything is perfect. I'm going to ask you to think about a girl who has none of that. She finally found the guy or finally found the boy or the boy finally found her. But now they have no way to get to the finish line without you. They do it today in this house. When you're going to buy something, don't think of the raffle. You want you want mazal. What page was this gim quoted to you on 11? d in Hebrew that's noon. You know what that spells in Hebrew? Canu by you want mazal. Think of your wedding and think of what you're giving to somebody else who has dreamed of this day her whole life. And you know what? It might just be the most haz. And you could change that. That's in our hands. When we think from at the top of our joy to the depth of someone's sadness, God makes miracles and mazal happen for us. May Hashem look down on the efforts that we are seeing here. You know, there's no mitzvah in the Torah to bring joy to to a person other than a Did you know that? It's weird. You think about that. There's no mitzvah to make your parents happy. No mitzvah. It says, "Honor your parents and fear them." There's no mitzvah to make a widow happy. No mitzvah. No mitzvah to make happy. You have to take care of them. But there's only two people in the world that we're commanded to make sure that they are happy. And that's why we're gathered here today. And that's why I'm schmvitzing and screaming even though there's no mic. And hoping you'll go back in and buy more. And hoping even on top of that when you go home you say, "You know, I heard this rabbi. He was screaming. I'm not sure what he's talking about, but the main line is we need to donate some more money to this special cause to be able to bring mazal for our daughter, to be able to bring mazal for our son, my nephew, for this person and to see those per in our own family for generations to come. Thank you for listening.