SAFE Event 2024 - Mordi Kameo Keynote Address

I got to just embrace the moment for a second this is unbelievable good morning everyone I'm truly honored and privileged to be here today thank you spike thank you safe thanks for James to open up his house and invite me here and thanks RM for letting me be here standing here in front of you if I if you told me 10 years ago I'd be on stage sharing my life story with the entire community and trying to help people I would say you're insane but I'm here now and I'm very very humbled before I share anything about my story and my addiction which was compulsive gambling we need to know what the def definition of compulsive Gambler is any betting or wagering for self for others whether for money or not no matter how slight or insignificant where the outcome is uncertain or depends upon chance or skill constitutes gambling that means if you're playing with your friends a tennis game and this guy just decides to say you know what I'll pay for the court that's gambling if somebody wants to play basketball with you one-on-one and decides you know he wants to take it on that's considered gambling I want to take a moment and touch on the dangers of gambling especially with what's going on today with our youth not to say that I'm any older but uh kids are watching sports now more than ever the lines which means that the odds are on the actual TV screen they can bet while they're actually watching the game we can't stay away from it here's the insanity and I was actually at that speech when Harry was giving about the cell phones the other day these little gadgets that don't leave our hands cell phones are making it worse with gambling apps and online casinos actually just the tap away the number of Youth exposed to gambling has skyrocketed as Jimmy's Head a recent survey which I found on chat GPT thank you um that 55% of 11 to 16-year-old kids have the gambling apps on their phone 11 to 16 year-old kids have it on their phone crazy enough I was actually at the office the other day and uh a couple of kids about seven kids were leaving the office and I said you know what our kids Community kids I said let me take a poll here I said out of the seven guys how many guys do you have an app on the phone four of them raised their hands and said oh oh oh me me me so that's already half and these are guys I just met 30 seconds ago and I said let me take a poll with kids being more with kids being targeted more than ever it's crucial for parents wives friends here today to be educated on these things and this topic I heard a speech from my Rabbi the other day it was a great analogy where the rabbi was asked to speak on the topic any topic they said Rabbi you know uh choose a topic how about raising children he goes raising children I don't know much about raising children but what I do know is about raising parents when Ike actually called me I spoke at Hillel once before to the kids of our community I spoke to the mag and David kids of our community and now I actually stand here in front of you speaking to the parents of these kids and I feel very special to actually relay the message to you because I know how important it is let's be clear on one thing gambling is a very profitable business they know exactly how to get you hooked apps like FanDuel which they mentioned this they're spending around $300 per new customer acquisition think about that we're all businessmen here $300 to get somebody hooked that can literally be any one of us today DraftKings they're giving up to ,000 in Casino credit you can you don't even have to go to the casino anymore it's literally on your phone so gambling companies are spending almost double even triple to get these new customers they're not idiots they know that they they can they can hook anybody at any given time okay now that we have that clear the fun part let me introduce myself I'm Morty Cameo I have the addiction of being a compulsive Gambler and my last bet was 3,559 days ago you thank you you would never think that this would be your moment or if it would be my moment but it is it's my moment my gambling started innocently enough with some scratch offs during high school when I was about 15 or 16 years old I was you know a little kid just playing scratch off during recess a night of friendly poker tournaments with the boys for 20 bucks which turn which turned to 40 60 100 bucks eventually thousands occasional visits to the casino and AC occasion occasional trips to Aruba which all of our kids have been including myself don't be fooled your kids are in the casino whether they're of age or not they're there they think it's cool that's what I thought I thought it was cool all these gambling binges and I never really looked at myself like I had a real problem over my teenage years it quickly escalated from small amounts to higher amounts and I'm talking a lot higher amounts I remember once at a friend's bachelor party in Montreal I passed by a a shop and uh you know I was debating whether to buy sunglasses at a whatever at a store and um I looked at the glasses and I was like oh 400 bucks okay um so I started thinking I'm like I'm going to buy them with the manipulation of easily convincing my friends that night that we should go to the casino to try to make back that 400 those glasses cost me four grand at the end of the night losing the money didn't hurt well it did but um losing money did hurt obviously but it was the manipulation it was the craziness that I was able to convince my friends anything it's called in the program stinking thinking we just want to think in a way where we can just tell people what to do and convince them my business career started out in the mail order industry trying to make money at the time considering the pressure is in the price of nice things nowadays especially out of high school you know especially of the kids now that I see they just want to make it they want to make it big they see everybody else making it big they see our community they see how tough it is they see how hard it is to actually make it so they want quick money it's also nice as a teenager to just buy things that you don't even need it's just fun I remember when I was young and I was making money I didn't you know I didn't have any expenses I just bought stuff they were just sitting there for no for no reason I was betting on anything and everything baseball in the middle of the day soccer at 2 o'clock in the afternoon tennis at 4:00 a.m. while I was sleeping I just needed the action just to get through my day but why what what was I missing was it Escape was I trying to run from something was it boredom was it selfworth did I feel like I I can't make it in life what was it I remember leaving the Shabbat table actually on one of the Friday nights just the place PS and watch the action Shabbat what's Shabbat I was gambling every time time all the time on Shabbat too there's no religion when you're in the grip of the illness it makes no difference the one thing that I would love back is the time that I've lost with my parents and my siblings that's the one thing I couldn't replace so sorry but sorry that I soon found myself opening up my own business that barely lasted a year considering the responsibilities that I took on which were zero I was gambling while I was trying to make a living I was dating while I was trying to get married I wanted to just be a normal person iy always mentioned as iy always mentioned it mentions it in his speech I just want to be a normal person after deciding to shift gears I leave the industry I went into the wholesale of power for about two years thinking I can learn and grow something and do something and be something finally maybe I can get over this slowly but surely but the gambling didn't stop day in and day out week in and wake week out I saw myself taking money for my accounts that I had somewhat saved up and paying my bookie back then we had bookies we actually had to go see somebody I had to go see somebody to actually have the action we keep talking about it over and over this morning about how easy it is for the kids to or in anybody in general to actually make a bet I had to go see somebody picture this for a moment a lot of you guys work in the city I used to work near 1407 building I used to wait for this guy to show up this big guy and I would give him a lot of cash every Monday why to replenish my account because all I cared about was the BET week in week out week in and week out just paying the guy the guy became my best friend at one point why wouldn't he I'm giving him all this money all the time nothing mattered just the next bet luckily throughout the new job though one positive thing did come about that I found my lovely life wife Karen who's sitting here yes she's still sitting here I got married at 25 and she was 21 she was young I was young kids are getting younger the by the minute getting married these days they don't even know who their spouse is sometimes she was in for a rude awakening 5 days after we got married I decided to fly my parents to Vegas considering there was an offprice show I thought it would be a great idea no every compulsive gambler's dream I decided to make a Chev Hut in Vegas I flew in my parents my in-laws were already there it sounds funny now but it was a great story as we were heading up the room you know being the compulsive Gambler that I was I was comped at the at the Wind Casino and um my parents stayed at the Venetian with my in-laws and everybody and I thought I look cool cuz I was in a different Hotel little do you know that I used to gamble in AC you know I was comped from Vegas and that's why we stayed at the wind as we were making our way to the room I decided to take a three-hour pit stop by the blackjack tables my wife was sitting by my side I'm playing Four Hands of blackjack $50 to $100 each each each uh hand she looked at me like it was fun for a while one hour goes by two hours goes by all right let's go I said no no you go five days married guys I decided to come up at 3 in the morning maxed out of my credit cards knocking on the door and she decides to open up the door while yelling and screaming while packing up her bags and saying I'm out so my newly married wife after five days has threatened to leave and it's only it hasn't even been a week despite thinking I hit my rock bottom you would think I'd be done but I continued to gamble for another year it just got worse never better taking money from our safety deposit box week in and week out paying multiple bookies not just one I had multiple at the time walking into Chase Bank for that final time and seeing a black empty bag with a $72 voucher that was left for my wedding money which was over 150 Grand that I blew away I reached my lowest point I felt defeated broken and very alone the weight of my actions press down on every weaking moment I felt worthless over time I actually became numb to that feeling that's what gambling does it makes you feel good about your losses it makes you feel like like oh this is normal this feeling that's the feeling I always had that's when my friend now who actually believe it or not was my bookie at the time he even thought I had a problem he said hey call Ike D I said who's Ike D he's like take the number and call I remember exactly where I was it was in the showroom of of of still in the wholesale company I called Ike I said hey Ike I'm Morty I have a gambling problem he said great perfect client bring your wife in and we'll talk click I hung up on call my wife what does my wife have to do with it I have the problem not my wife I decided to move on after another month of Unthinkable bedding every hour on the hour trying to make back my money I decided I surrendered I finally made the call on October 1st 2014 and started step one step one in this yellow book which I keep on my side by my bed every night admitting I was powerless over gambling and my life has become unmanageable and I attended my first meeting that night recovery began entering the safe program twice a week with my wife and G and with my wife Gamblers Anonymous meetings twice a week so basically my whole week was about recovery asking for help was the hardest and most crucial step asking for help was the hardest thing I had to do going to see this bookie all the time going to the bank and seeing my money gone I didn't care asking for help being vulnerable that got to me in our community in general we often see asking for help as a weakness but it's actually a sign of strength as the ram teaches us no man has worn wise we all need guidance and support to grow and overcome these challenges I had to throw some Rabbi stuff in there whoever's here maybe somebody's here but if they're not they'll hear us they'll hear us okay safe's mission is to address the disease of the addict given the options that they meet for their clients and their families but there's one thing you don't there's one thing you need to know it can happen to anybody if you don't think that it can happen within your family it can the illness the compulsion the craziness it doesn't discriminate regardless of your background your age or your status it makes no difference I continue to seek help through meetings I used to go twice a week to my ga rooms my sponsor who I owe a lot of gratitude to the people here as my support system they told me actually that this guy probably won't come back you know how many people actually make it in the program 2% two out of every hundred people who walk into the room and say that they have a problem gambling actually stick around as years went by I started feeling better I kept with the program I got a sponsor I listened to Ike I got the help that I need I went through safe but we call it in the program Life On Life's terms fast forward six years I want everyone to take a minute and just close your eyes for a second and really do it it's worth it March 2020 what's the first thing you realize or hear it could be Sirens it could be covid it could be spending PES alone we're past that right Harry I remember where you were we were standing together at a fundraiser a couple of days right before yeah who knew you know what I remember I remember rushing my 20-month-old son Michael to the hospital on a Thursday afternoon in March a couple days after puim he wasn't feeling well the world was dealing with covid and we were focused on Michael a couple days in the hospital they said he was going to be okay we brought him back home and we thought that that was that he started playing again he started being happy again Monday March 16 2020 we woke up and our lives have changed forever our son Michael had passed away from a respiratory virus that morning waking up to see that pain on my wife's face when she found him in his crib that's pain seeing people who are struggling seeing myself struggle didn't make a difference CU I was self-inflicting but when I saw her that felt real it was real I didn't want to talk to anyone for a very long time I remember feeling that moment that I haven't felt in years I was sitting during my Shiva and I couldn't speak to anyone I had all the right to go back to gambling and no one would have opened their mouth but I didn't because that wouldn't brought that wouldn't have brought Michael back because of this my amazing wife and I have turned the greatest tragedy into a beautiful organization that you guys might have known or not and now this is the uh this is our achievement of that we'll call it but we started it's called the Michael Cameo foundation in memory of our son which we help kids throughout Pim because that was the last time we spent with him we have memorialized them with two beautiful Parks here on the on on the Jersey Shore one in the kabad and one at the new DSN [Applause] playground that's all because I reached out that's all because I ask for help GA stands for GB get back I was able to get back my life because of safe and because of the program that's all because six years prior I made the toughest decision to call Spike that's what safe does they don't just treat the symptoms they Empower to rebuild their lives and your lives when I called me originally I thought it was one of two things either speaking to another school which I was okay with maybe cuz they're little kids because I think that that's the most important thing or somebody was really struggling and he looked at me and he said step up this is your time to step up so I did and I'm very happy I did every dollar you contribute to this organization is money well spent because you never know whose life you might change or save I'm a regular guy walking the streets and you would never know that I had an addiction to to gambling anybody walking in the streets you would never know it's totally different than alcohol use and drug use not to say that they're any less concerning you have to ingest something as drugs you have to consume something as alcohol anybody sitting here can be a compulsive gamble our kids can walk into the dangers like that thank God my kids never had to see that side of me cuz I never had kids when I was you know out there and I I'm grateful for that every single day and every moment so believe in the power of help and step up be confident in your journey and don't be afraid because I promise you this it's worse on the other side you'd rather have your life back take responsibility Rabbi mayor said this yesterday and I was telling him like I I'm so happy to be here he said take responsibility of your actions when you do that you wake up I was sleeping for a very long time and I decided to take back my life and I wanted to take back my life safe is here for you and your family and I'm here for you as well because no one should do this alone thank you for listening and today I feel safe