Mekudeshet Event - Rabbi Shaul Haber

Kudesh made a bazra Syrian girl and boy the girl is 46 years old. She's getting married and she will have a baby. You took my whole speech. >> Come on. >> Okay. Thank you for coming. I know that the weather is amazing and really there are other things you could have done today. So we really appreciate it. Also, thank you to the host and hostess Stephen and Julie Montigu were actually related and we used to walk I don't know if Stephen remembers but we used to walk home from Sh together from Lawrence Avenue past his father's house. We walk home together. Also, I would like to thank our team, all the matchmakers and our people that work with us. Every single person just has one thing on their mind and that is to do and to give and to help people and to focus on people. And if you looked at our texts throughout the day and WhatsApps and phone calls, you would know that there's really no time in the day that we're not all of us busy, whether it's even secretaries or matchmakers or whoever it is. I wake up in the morning, I have five texts at 5:30 in the morning about what are we going to do with this person, what are we going to do with that person? A story. There was a business conference with about 50 salesmen there and they had motivational speakers getting up and giving different motivational stories and things and trying to motivate the people. One man got up and he had a novel idea. He said, "I'm going to give $5. We're going to pair up. Everyone's going to pair up and we're going to do arm wrestling and I win." So, if you win five times, you'll get whatever the amount of money is. If you do 10 times, you'll get that amount of money. Five for each $5 for each time that you win. What happened? Everyone sat down 10 minutes. They're all wrestling each one. After they were done, one person, one group, okay, I won five. The other one says I won 10. One big guy got 20. And then there were two people who said we got 300 each. So everyone's looking at them. How'd you get 300? How'd you win? Everyone else got 510. How'd you get 300? And the answer was instead of fighting against each other, we just we made a deal. I'll let you win and you let me win. Instead of going against each other, we did it together. Instead of doing what normal people would do, which is to compete, we work together and we instead of doing getting winning five or 10, we exponentially won hundreds instead of five or 10. And if you look at our numbers, if you look at McQues numbers, 237 engagements, and these are real numbers. They're not juiced up. They're the actual numbers that we send out every single day. Harry said 235. It's 237 because since he got his paper to prepare for his speech in made two more engages 237 9,551 um dates and if you look at the numbers you have to say to yourself and we have 70 to 100 people adding themselves to our app every single month. How do you get numbers like that? And the answer is together. together with the rabbis, together with the teachers, together with the parents, the singles, and everyone that's here today supporting us, together with all of you. And when you do it together, you accomplish so much more. But in addition to a network that's not only sophisticated, confidential, efficient, we also care. And I think that that's the main ingredient to everything that we're doing with cares about every single individual single and their parent. If you talk to us, you call us, I think you would think if you call one of our matchmakers, you would think that you were the only person that they were working on because the truth is we really, really, really care. I think I see people, you see someone who's single and you know, you're dealing with hundreds of them. You think after a while you get desensitized and it's really not what happens. Each individual one, I can't even remember like my, you know, my cousin's names, but I'm remembering names of singles. Why? We look at them and we focus on them and we really really want to work with them. And I think that if you're here on one of the last Fridays of the summer and maybe one of the nicest Fridays of the summer, you care as well. And that is the number one ingredient. You care about the 26 year old girl without a network of people working on her maybe would not have gotten a phone call in a year or two. But now because of what we're all doing together, they're getting a phone call once a month, once a week, whether it's an actual idea that pans out or just someone that cares about them, it makes all the difference. Even a 19year-old girl who if not for her network on her would would have had years of pain and someone calls her at 19 and stops it early gets her married and then she doesn't have to think about what would have been or will have let's say a 28-year-old boy who doesn't have enough confidence to go over to the right girls. So instead he's going over to the wrong girls. Now a matchmaker calls him and says I have someone perfect for you. She's healthy. Our family is good. We know everything about them. Try it. And the boy dates her. And this happens, I'm telling you, every single day, people who are not getting any ideas with the network that has, they're getting ideas or the 22 year old boy who needs guidance and sets them up with coaching. We cover that coaching and we set them up and we guide them. And instead of going aimlessly for years and getting nowhere, he gets set up at 22, 23, makes the right choice, makes a clear decision, and he gets married. And people often ask us, we added 50 matchmakers at least in the past year. And very often we'll get this question of what's your criteria of a matchmaker? And of course, I'm simplifying it, but the primary thing you look for are you have to have time, energy, and you have to care. You could be from any walk of the community, any part of the community, mainstream, more religious, less religious, shabby, whatever you are. The one thing we're looking for is people that care and have time and want to be busy with this the entire day. At night, middle of the night, they're thinking, they go to weddings, instead of hacking with their friends, they're looking at people and trying to find dates. It says, and I'm going to end with this week's I'm going to end with this thought. It says in this week's that you have to go in all the ways of hem. A person is supposed to try to mimic the ways of hem and give the way he does. And the tells us what does hashem do the entire day says the hashem sits and he makes matches. Now not all of us are matchmakers. So we're not going to do that. I myself actually completely not a matchmaker. I don't think I can set anybody up. I think I made one match in my life. But the truth is by supporting the organization and working in the organization you get that same thing of the you're doing what Hashem does. Let's just remember we do it alone each individual person. We can make one match here, one match there. But if we do it together, we can do hundreds of matches and set up so many people and change their lives. Thank you.