Daily Chidush: How Can HaShem Fix My Marriage (10 minutes)

[Music] in regards to the question of what happens when uh you have a uh perhaps a religious couple uh so they're doing at least what they believe is what AEM says they should do they keep Shabbat they keep kosher and so on but there's no schom one of them whether it be the husband or the wife is uh verbally emotionally abusive uh and um has no interest whatsoever in changing uh so whether it's the wife or the husband is uh not necessarily as relevant as the fact as what we need to understand what it means when a comes before it comes down to from sh a person needs to understand that that is incomplete it's a partial why because the other half of that n is their spouse and whoever the person chooses to be their spouse is going to be the completion of that that they're going to be with eternally eternally which means that every single time that they hurt that Nish they're in essence hurting themselves they're damaging their own this is why the r he says that a husband must uh love his wife as much as he loves himself but honor her even more than himself love as much as himself but honor her even more than himself giving cavod to the your wife is even more important than even loving her why because without cavod there's no relationship even more so on the opposite side if a woman does not respect her husband there's no relationship the husband is never going to be able to reach his full potential if his wife is abusive to him is not honoring him is not helping him get to his full potential now a woman needs to understand how you know how just how important respecting a husband is now of course we know what our Ten Commandments are that you know our fifth commandment is that people must honor their parents okay but on the woman's side a woman once she gets married she's not even obligated to honor her parents anymore why all of the honor she has must go to her husband if there's some left she can give it to our parents but if not if she has to choose one between the other she must honor our husband before her parents she must honor her husband before her parents needless to say she must honor her her husband regardless of whether her parents are there or not why he's our own I'll give you a real story of something that happened to real true story that happened not too long ago maybe a couple years ago had someone come to him one time someone that's a keeps learns all day decent human being not a we're not talking about someone that's a gangster someone that's keeps relatively new few years into it you know maybe five six seven years into it but chose to take the life of being an but hasn't necessarily worked on himself and perfected himself yet but still none of us are anyway one day he tells him listen I'm having serious problems I had a uh you know a daughter born a son born I'm sorry a son born and they uh the son hasn't left the hospital it's already been six months six months that the Boy hasn't left the hospital we're not able to circumcise him give him we're not able to name him we're not able to do anything so what do the doctors say doctors don't know all they know is that he's sick he's dying they don't know if he's going to survive the day they don't know if he's going to survive the week they don't know anything so FR asks what does your uh wife what does your wife say about how's she dealing with all of it immediately the someone that keeps reacted in a very nasty way ah her she she's lucky I'm even married to her she uh she's this and she's that he doesn't say nice things let's just say that he doesn't say nice things about her but what should I do he asks himim surprisingly gives him a response of a lifetime he says do you want your son to be healthy he says yeah sure of course I want my son to be healthy what kind of question is that's what I'm coming to you is there a prayer is there a study session that I can do is there a anything that I can do to fix it maybe I could learn the sh maybe I could take on myself extra mitv maybe this maybe that he says yeah you can do one thing he says what he says you have to start respecting your wife to such an extent that he completely changes her mind changes her perception of who you are because what do you mean he says you have to buy a present on a regular basis goes why are you kidding me I make only, 15500 shekels a month being on a goes you have to buy her something every week you have to honor her you have to respect you have to goes where is this coming what does it have to do with my son he says if you want Miracles you need the you need a to come down himself nothing else is going to help your son nothing else can help not the doctors not the lawyers not the accountants not the bble not the nothing only Hashem himself can save your son because your son right now is in Dire Straits and right now you have to understand that we learn in our T that when hem decided that he's going to give the tah to on Mount sa theim came to hm and said hem you cannot come down to the the cannot come down to mount saai because all of am they've been slaves they've been in Egypt for 210 years slaves for 116 years they've been tortured they've been beat they've been you know what's happened to them many of them are meaning that they have deformities they're missing arms missing eyes they're blind they're deaf they're broken backs and the cannot come down to a place of imperfection hasem said no problem let's make them perfect and just like that the one that was blind was able to see the one that was deaf was able to hear the one that was crippled was able to walk Hashem literally was the Healer live live and well and actually healed everyone in order for the to come down to a place of perfection and there's a mish that we learned from that story which says when a is and is a husband and a wife have a merit of the comes down between them so ra explains to him he because you want Miracles the only way you can have Miracles is if the comes the only way the can come is if if if the husband and the wife have the only way they have schite is if you start you the husband starts you the one that thinks this and thinks that you start and if it's the wife listening to this then you start don't wait for the other one to start if each one of us starts ourselves can come but if we keep waiting for the other person to do it the will be gone forever so the person said listen I don't know much but I know enough to know that I should listen to he knows a lot of and you have to have he did what he said and 30 days on the spot 30 days later he runs through excited as can be as if M just came down from Mount sa he said what happened everything okay he says you're never gonna believe it my son was just released with perfect bill of health from the hospital the doctors asked me why is he even here the new new doctor came in he say why is your your son here he's perfectly healthy take him home already when a person understands that the does not come to a home with no SCH that means there's no there's no the money there's no good for the kids there's nothing good in the world happens to a place where there's no nothing good so if a person wants the to come they must start with schom how do you start with schom start by looking in the mirror and fix the person you you see this helps those that are listening and those that are not listening and you spread this m message to all of to understand that our spouses are ourselves it's the other half of our own when we hurt them we hurt ourselves we hurt ourselves we hurt our connection with and nothing good can come out of that [Music]