Daf Yomi Kiddushin Daf 64 by R’ Eli Stefansky

good morning I'd like to dedicate today Shear to my sister ad Bas who's having surgery right now she should have like today dedicate today's sh to all the all those who are captured and Ne [Music] Yeshua [Music] for [Music] before we go on I know we're in terrible mat and I didn't want to discuss the shabbaton it's coming up in two weeks and we ask him and in fact today I sent another one of our good to ask and he said that we must continue with the shabas it's a shabas of it's a chabas of celebrating toy celebrating the of it's getting together and it's just the shabas of was never meant to be a shabas of of of just having a good time was a shabas of and we're going to hear and speeches from from and many others all and I'm asking you if you haven't booked please book many people from are their flights are cancelled and all sorts of things they can't come for one reason or another so the shabas needs more than ever and if you haven't booked now is the time to book it's m going to be one of a kind in fact rasher said that we have to tone it down no crazy music has to be more shes more of AUM more seriousness but it's going to be unbelievable so book book today don't push it off another day just for me for everybody that's coming the whole we all need the and we're all going to be one another let's do this the spons by families L worldwide just blank on the 12th yard side of his mother and everyone on the front lines in day three to get rid of my tenant at 76 I don't know what that means I hope it's not uh something against somebody next shab they're going forward because of we are going to go forward it's a celebration of to no air conditioning in this room so we're going to have to sweat it out MD headquarter Coffee corner beverages of the month all that come from supporting all right so it's Tak as said also it should be a shabas for for the of the literally what we say every day that's what he said those were his words that was his idea it should be aab for this it should be all those who killed because they were they were killed says the he Dash a father says I received K from my daughter and therefore she's AER to the world but I also receive the G she's a I can receive the G get for her now she's now I'm saying that she's I'm stating a fact as a father I'm saying my daughter's she's a divorce just reminds me of AA that there was a b a very problematic boy in Yesa and everybody told him hey you're never going to get married you're problematic it turns out that they were all wrong he got married more times than anybody else in Yesa that was a joke that El told me back in the day and uh I had to say it at least once I might have said before who knows so and she's still the fathers believed why we're going to see the Gar so you could say it makes sense logically the fathers believed it's like he has AIG he can marry off he can receive a get is gonna say no it's this and I received get when she was now she's an adult now he's not believed she was captured and I redeemed her whether she's a whether she's a he's not believed he's trying to say that she is was captured therefore she's you hear what's going on here we're talking about we're talking about people that were captured and the mishna says that they're also why they because they're violated by the violated there was a a story I looked it up and I found it here it's on the screen it's chart one it says a father's daughter they came and they told his father that your daughter was killed I saw the interview on CNN it's brought down here and he said he said thank you Hashem thank you Hashem that she was killed because had she been captured what would have they done to my 8-year-old daughter I know these were shine they wouldn't give her water they wouldn't give her food she' be in a dark place scared for who knows how many years he said who knows how many years there's a father in in during Shiva during his pain now I personally I can't I'm not in his place I don't think that's our ashfa personally I didn't ask a GLE but I would say that life is life and um you hope that she would get out of there with the trauma and it would be a lifetime of trauma but what a person could achieve in a lifetime look at what people achieved after the war so I would say here but I don't have another I don't have a with me and I don't want to make any mistakes all right but this is the idea of which brings to mind you know a lot of people ask about the gamar keeps on talking about a seven-year-old married how do how does how do you marry a seven-year-old kid a eight-year-old kid the gar keeps on talking about this we have to remember that just recently just not so long ago maybe within the last 100 years people lived even in places like Morocco where it's common place to get married at seven eight years old why because a girl could be walking to school and that Russia cousin of ours grabs her and she never comes home never comes home but he wouldn't grab is he wouldn't grab the married woman so if you marry her off at 7even eight years old she's she's safe so we we we don't understand how people used to live them it just gives us another somebody threw out it was not a joke and I was upset at him during share he says oh called the police we don't understand what people went through and in order to save one's daughter he would marry her off it doesn't mean that anything happened it just means she was officially married to so and so I even met somebody that said that his great-grandmother was married at 7 years old to a 15-year-old and he said like they would just weigh in the wings and this was your eventually but just that the go shouldn't grab her okay so if a father [Music] says I know that she was captured and I redeemed her so she's [Music] now B whether she's whether she's doesn't matter even if she's doesn't what's the difference between what's the difference between captured girl or why when it's a he's believed when she's a he's not believed or when she's a captured girl she's not he's not believed two two questions says when it's in the father's hand to do something he could go ahead and receive k then he's believed when it's not in his hand he's not believed he could marry her off and make her now the question the obvious question that everybody's going to have is we just said he can marry off to a regular person receive a get from a regular person that's be even the get part the the understands or the understands in the Mish that it's in his hand so you already made why do you have to come out is that a is not allowed to marry a divorce and if he does the kid is a so understands that he can marry his daughter off to this and she'll be POS she'll be possible by marrying him so Rashi on the spot says no we're talking about is by marrying off to yes you can make her also to kunun by marrying her off to is and accepting a divorce from is and now she's posa we're adding one more step now she's p a truma by marrying her off to we're trying to add the truma component says what are you asking the father has it's in his ability to marry off to and if we making her possible even for truma no because we go like not true that a father who marries his daughter to let me just jump ahead here um oh it's chart number four and the chart says bring if you can marry this girl if you can marry this person's daughter again if I can marry the daughter because the says that a person was born from of a and a divorce which he's not allowed to marry his daughter is not you can marry his daughter so if you can marry his daughter you can marry his wife wife in other words the wife doesn't become possible marrying this says did I say it correctly so that it's clear a that comes from a union of divorce he's if he marries any woman you can marry the daughter and you can marry the woman herself she herself doesn't become possible says the the father still has power to marry off to and therefore Mak herle that says you cannot marry off your daughter to to because the K won't grab says even agrees according to that yes you cannot marry off to you can marry off to if she's a divorce the father still has the right to marry off if she's a divorce from K not from has the right to marry off to a or yeah says any Union any kind of Bad the kid is a besides one thing it's not the same P but it's a p later [Music] make but he can't make who says Let's scream at so there's that says why does it say let's scream on a says the because we know is like everywhere when it's one against one where argues on his friends then we don't hold like R so says he scream out help me come to my team once you're on my team we'll be more than one against one it'll be two five against one and then will beat to so no everything is a m even if is saying his own in it had nothing to do with answering this this thing or answering he was saying what he understood okay but if he's just going up against and he's trying to undo and say in other words also leaves it's possible the just saying maybe doesn't say a blanket statement in R it's possible said that says any type of that's wrong even if it's a like marrying a MIT which is everything makes a everything 100% okay so then we don't have a question but what if R sh wasn't saying 100% he was just talking to you say that doesn't make no he doesn't make a but has bunch of cases that don't create for instance which they are so therefore again once again the father has the power to make herle you learn what do you think it's a common sense that the father has the right to marry off and answer therefore we believe him no it's and I'll prove it to you it's in his father has the right to get his to to marry off his daugh but it's still not in His Hands divorcer he can't force the husband divorce another proof what do you mean he has the power to marry her off only if the guy agrees to marry her but he can't force anybody to marry his daughter so it's not in His Hands you can't do it forcefully how do you know a father has the right two things first of all to make her user on the world he has the right to be believed that he gave his daughter to this man he has the right to that's a to so that said only by marriage and when it comes to captivity there's no p and therefore he's not believed person at his deathbed he says I have children and if I have children my wife is not believed but if he says I have brothers and all of a sudden now she's from we never knew he had his brothers so she's he says oh by the way you from I have brothers is not believed says person is believed to make his wife or I'm sorry to the world the world and not L to this is different person as he's getting married he tells his wife don't worry you think I'm sick and I'm going to die and you don't worry I have a child somewhere maybe it's a of older couple whatever don't worry about it I have children and then later on this same individual after he got married and he got her so to speak oh we're married and then he's about to die says by the way I don't have children or so again he started off the marriage saying you're not then after the then after by by his death he says you are or during the he says I don't have brothers they're therefore what your again I have children or I have a brother and during his death who I missed these charts sorry so I don't know y you want to insert these charts chart two and chart three just uh 3 four minutes back when I was talking about R sh and it's complicated because uh we're not working with a computer that ysf sees the charts at the same time as we're giving she Anda he doesn't really know what I'm talking about what charts I'm saying and what I'm referring to so I hope he's M me I hope you're M if you don't see these charts oh okay [Music] says when he got married he says I don't have brothers therefore you from and then as he's dying he says I have brothers a person is believed to say that she's but he's not to say that she's a person is believed both ways so our mishna that's that says that he's not eminent to to to her is not at a person's death bed a person regrets he doesn't want to put his wife in a situation where she's a oh we could believe whatever he says he's not he's he's trying to say listen you thought that you're you don't haveo you could just marry anybody you want I'm telling you that you're going to be over you can't marry anybody you want I have I don't have children and but in the Mish what happens is the mishna he didn't retract over here he's retracting he had one statement when they got married so maybe he was a Shyer his mom is pulling her leg when they got married to calm her down oh I have I have sons don't worry about it you're not and at his deathbed he's being a bigad he doesn't want her to do a okay but in our mishna it's only a guy opening up his mouth when he when he's dying so perhaps when he's dying he's trying to cause her pain and aggravation they were in a big fight and he's just saying oh by the way whatever you can't marry anybody it's interesting once heard that even one of the riots that they say about yides is like how's it possible that a whole generation let's say in the time ofu invented the whole thing of whole generation millions of people said we saw and they gave it over to their sons and the sons on or even a later generation they all got together a big meeting and they said let's all lie that we saw mat went up the whole thing so let's say that happened so the next time is what no one on their deathbed ever told her son hey by the way I was part of this big conspiracy lie no one ever said that that's also a problem how is it possible that nobody ever said that under death because people under their deathbed many times bring out the truth like I said once before I had a uh one of my employees was telling me a couple times she told me stories and finally she said that her father on his deathbed said that he's Jewish he never told her her entire life and that the reason why he didn't say it is because Jews wanted to kill kill him wherever he went because he was she didn't really say exactly but I understood from that that he was uh gapo he was a snitch during the World War II and they wanted to kill him things come out on a deathbed but over here we're talking about that on his deathbed he says a lie to get to get her good so just reminds the famous story there two sisters that were extremely angry at each other and they were in a huge fight their entire life basically they never spoke to each other one of the sisters on her deathbed said please call my sister so the family is very excited finally so the sister comes in and she very weak she Whispers to the sister she says come come close I want to whisper in your ear come clo closer closer and when the sister got really close she bit her sister's ear with all her might and she died how terrible a fight and anger and and today especially we got to do chuva and we got to I think the the right way to do it is to start with ourselves each one any fight that they have we should do a little Chua between ourselves and our people that we're fighting with and as a general CL seriously maybe we could all get together at the shabbaton and be do a whole commotion about what you're saying doesn't make so much sense to me isn't this when a person is retracting his words when he got married he said I have I don't I have kids you're P from you when he dying he's saying I don't so he looks like a fool he's he's contradicting himself but it's okay saying oh he's probably saying the truth when he's dying the Mish where he's not retracting he's making one final statement at his deathbed why wouldn't they believe him then the m is talking about a case a regular case this person like a guy getting married 20-year old he probably doesn't have sons kids and he probably doesn't have Brothers unless you see them by the wedding why would you think the person has Brothers if nobody showed up to the wedding so therefore what bottom line she's Po from she's from even though she he died without children but there's no brothers he can't do evil so right now no no evil there's no that he has children or brothers so if he says I have children have sons he's believed because anyway she's part from so now he's his sons he's just enforcing it so Rashi asks so what do you mean he's believed forget that he's believed right now status quo she's P from no Sons no brothers p from so the fact that he says they have sons continues that he's ping so what do you mean he's believed yeah without being believed he's believed so Rashi says he's believed that if somebody shows up later on like in the time of the V where the guy showed up and he said ho I'm so and so's husband somebody shows up and says I'm son so's brother and I have to be m in this woman we don't believe him because we already believed the dead person that he doesn't have that he does have sons and therefore we don't believe this guy that he's a brother that's the so when he says I have brothers he's not believed because it's not in his power because it's already established that he doesn't have brothers he doesn't have sons so when he's on his death B he says by the way I have brothers and therefore you're you're you can't marry anybody in the world we don't believe him but the on the other hand so we do have oh just I don't have the sorry these charts for some reason are out of whack somehow they got out of way oh here we go okay so here's a guy in death bed this chart number seven and we believe him that he has Sons we don't believe him that he has Brothers now if he's M the BR he's M that he has Brothers this is chart e and then you push the button what happens is you see because he has brothers so therefore she's bond to she's to oh so now we go back to different chart Shak is chart number six and you push the button here this is more of a humorous kind of so this why should a guy lie what does he say he's trying to say oh I have sons and therefore you don't have to have with my brothers even though we have a we saw the brothers at the wedding so everybody knows he has Brothers but if he's trying to get her out of the so and he's lying and he says I have sons in there for she's part [Music] from he could all he has to say is I'll divorce you a moment before my death I know I'm dying so don't worry about it to get her out of it's easy just give her a get my very very good friend you all know who he is but I don't know if he wants me to to say so he went today to asking him about the shat went to his rep on him and and and Gans went and I said I hear all these I want to ask somebody inel somebody that's accepted upon everybody wise you say we can use his name not in print but to say rasher wi is getting shilas today it's unbelievable husbands are going out to war in Ro and they're asking about writing gon to their wives what if they don't come back what if to give these G that CL for Generations were giving we spoke about we showed I believe in sheer once we had these get a whole even in the American Army they were doing it these are the kind of Shas of today literally today yesterday questioned about how do I write the get and should I write the get people going to war so he's saying I can give you a get the moment before and that will patter you some people give get not because they're in a fight because they want to save their wife this concept of Malak why should I lie just give you get has the power of very powerful and these are so powerful they uproot the kazak and therefore comes out that what what's her kazak that she has that he has brothers and she's King now his what his this of Mal is so powerful it uproots that she's from we have one in one they're equal since they're equal and it can uproot it now she's now we have a freebie because we learned this word for word right through the whole a person who says I don't remember I received Kush from my daughter but I don't remember which one it's not his older daughter that's already 12 and a half years old a person has two sets of girls a woman told me that are she's from a second marriage and her father calls the the kids from the first marriage team one and team two two teams a person married two women and he has girls you remember the Sugi because we just had it not so long ago two weeks ago so so so when he was younger he had one wife then he got divorced from that wife or she died and then he had another wife wife so he has older daughters and younger daughters and he says I accepted from my older daughter now there's three possibilities he has four daughters it could be three things here we go it says chart eight but it's the chart with four women and I'm clicking now I don't know if it's so the older of the two older ones starts flashing or click again or the younger one of the older one sorry so it goes either the oldest of team one or is the oldest of Team two or the younger one of team one because the youngest one in team one is older than the oldest one in team two and then you click it again you see there three X's or whatever do not enters on the three three women and there's one check the youngest one of all that's the only one that he could not have meant because she's definitely not a so may over here saying I don't know exactly what he meant I'm a you hear we have to remember this REM is the one who says I don't know what he meant so three out of four are user one is m to the click again and now we have on the side it says says nine they're all M besides the oldest one of group one the oldest of the oldest now we have the same exact case but now we're talking about the father instead of saying I was mades the oldest he said I was M the youngest same exact idea now we go to the the chart chart 10 that says on the side I don't know if it's the youngest of the young youngest of Team two so the youngest of Team One or the oldest one of Team [Music] two she's younger than all the older ones and therefore you keep on clicking and they're Aller besides the check mark on click again so the besides says how's that possible now I have to I have to click all the way back but maybe y doesn't have to do it here we go I have it here it's chart five as the G but what are you telling me that when a father says as my daughter and it doesn't mean the B but it means all the young ones if at the time of the we have no idea who the Kal is and therefore it's impossible to have relations with her so it's whether or not it grabs or not the over here you see it does grab we had this entire he's talking about when there's only two girls an older one and a younger one as but it says that there two that a father in general this category called B's father cannot receive kushan for her she's too old to receive kushan it's not talking about this specific case in general I mean of course she's too old to accept 12 and a half she sent her father I would think that he has her in mind it's mindboggling I remember thinking about then and I said it at then today we don't understand this to if you have an older daughter and a younger daughter 99% of the people will accept kushan for the older daughter first not in the time of the gar they were so poor that 99% of the people will accept kushin for where it hits him good in the pocket where is he going to make more money going to make more money when he's madish his younger daughter not when he's M the older daughter why because the older daughter gets to keep the K the younger daughter not by the way I forgot to say that turning the D is sponsored for all those in need of and by inovations oh maybe there is no turning of the death we'll say it anyways one freebie kov in honor of my uncle for year filled with for all of the MD family wait a minute yeah the girl knows that her father is M that for 100 for 22 bucks he's going to be mesh's daughter out of line and take the be a seven-year old instead of the 25y old she knows that so she says you know what keep the $22 even in such a case no he has aah says a that says that you should marry off your daughter that MIT is only for not for so he wants to be MIT this big yeah gr he's going to also make $22 that's not why he's doing it he's doing it for the mitvah there no M to marry of your older daughter so why does the M repeat itself twice a case of the and it's the same idea he said I don't know did he mean the youngest of the young did he mean the youngest of the group one did he mean the youngest of the the oldest of the group two but she's younger than the group one it's the same idea so the says in the it's the same idea I'll just say sometimes a person calls the older one he means the older daughter it could mean a number of girls it can mean this one that one but not when it comes to he doesn't use the work and then says the exact opposite so he says oh this is my young this is my MAA this is my youngster my my my baby he calls her but he really means from group one sometimes he calls it group two okay so let's see inside only says he argues he always calls oh this is my big kid look such a big kid but really has older kids in that in the case of maybe agrees only calls the youngest of the young people show off sometimes say oh this my my big kid my big kid really has a 50-year-old kid he says my big kid on the 10y old also my but if it only said seems like from the mishna wasn't sure did he mean three options and you know what all three so you see that mayor says a person when he says sometimes he put put himself into a and later on he forgets and then he's in a big T they only need but we said we know the opposite it's not a person makes a nether against his friend I don't want to have anything to do with my friend till P also you know it reminds me sometimes of people what does mean here another case until the first day of P he says until will be then it's until the last day of P so husband asks his wife how could I help you for PES I see you're working so hard she says oh you know you could help me for PES maybe take down the people yeah yeah I'll do it I'll take care of it it's already P you didn't take down the when a person says to the face of a face so you see is very certain what what we're talking about it's until this specific time till comes all of a sudden is a person I don't know what he meant so how come over here a mayor is certain and now mission is not certain it's such a BB Kasha you think that it's not so it's not the biggest no it's such a you have to flip the around and I'll prove it to you over here you see is the one that says not like we thought a second ago why because we're flipping it and with that have a wonderful day and a to all the amen