Daf Yomi Kesubos Daf 63 by R’ Eli Stefansky

good morning shimmy weiss staten island 41 introducing the daft his two week old baby hialeah proud grandpa penny tau staten island 81. oh rabbi um so last week was a very challenging week we had the terrible uh tragedy with tony pollock and um a lot of people were asking where is our baltic here the official baltic a we have every elo we have abhi mandubao he's on zoom top all the way on the top every single day he runs the schmooze before shear after shear where is he avoisae here's the email good evening araveli it broke my heart early today he wrote this yesterday to share the news of my cancer diagnosis i considered putting the full technical name but i decided to be nice the outpouring of support well wishes i've really received has been nothing short of breathtaking thank you everyone two of the most frustrating things i've had to endure during my stay in the hospital has been the daily interruptions of sheer unzoom the comfort of the time and zoom before the hassle yesterday he got the diagnosis he's been going for like a week and a half what's going on what's going on and he got the diagnosis this is what he's writing also not being able to blow shuffle at the end of sheer or blow at all because he's about the k in the show he's broken my heart and brought him more a few tears to my eyes it hurts even more as a former member shimmy weiss is also about the k up the kit sir please find attached photos of me learning the daf comforting of me learning the daff comforting period i know it's a comfort for me one final note i get soup at least one meal each day because his name is avi avi that's his name that's how he signs off all his emails often twice a day as we all know since brock is daf 23 i love sue he signs off avi i got this man the bell so his name for fila raboisite he has it in three vital organs in an advanced stage but it's i spoke to the doctor yesterday it's very curable it's one of the most treatable cancers so we have to dive forever menasha benjamin look how strong he is he's writing on the day of his diagnosis wrote us an email abram here's some pictures of him in the hospital she took a four smile i i don't blame him but that's what it is moshe brown i thought this was very appropriate to follow up on this show malayan rebellion it's his one year anniversary in reality all the well wishes go to you without all the effort you put in the learning schmacka i wouldn't be here where i am now i'm amazed at how you deliver an upbeat daf almost every day besides for the two three days that you had to start to share with sad news about tragedy in the mdy family we take for granted that every share will have a few wisecrack light moments to lift our mood in addition to the gemara you've taught us learning should be not as a pressure you actually embody your slogans you should do the death thank you again for the past year of daily learning match and give you kayaking for many more years filled with health family talmud moshe brown muncie from mesut ozil all right so daryl um to reach out to avi i know he's overwhelmed with different messages and everything and uh well daven we're we're very hopeful that bazer hashem and by the way he's i don't know we can't hear you but avi you were the first house that i went out of the basement went to your house in maresha the first time ever that i gave a shirt not in the basement so should we continue to be zoyoka to learn the daf with health and happiness and thanks for being so strong we're here with you we're diving for you refused the parents racist mother to get the best esther read us should be in release of yo sure on behalf of us and our children the second sponsor of the month for the success of our family and that we merit always crown hashem aaron children second sponsor jeff rasner is my son ben sarah before second the sponsor of a month michael melo monty pearl and aaron hirsch this year second spans of the month and today's sponsor multi kirschner lillian ishmael's my grandfather who's your turn is today isaac dove oliver scholar rabbi [Music] taff gimmel this is perhaps the most famous story in chas it's my favorite story in chas there are many many many favors this is the top of the top for me every time i learn it every time i cry from emotions hopefully now not so much i just learned it this morning and i cried again says the gemara four lines from the bottom and this is a story that every single one of us should take a lesson a life lesson it's unreal from all different sides it comes from everywhere interesting to note that when we spoke about rebecca and his 24 thousand talmida nifter during the sphero was also in the invoice dave samar base stop so here we are at absolute base revokivo rayo de vencalva he was the shepherd of one of the wealthiest people of the generation o'malley his daughter saw she recognized rahul recognized that he has great meatus or malay now we have to understand that she comes from such a family she has every she could watch tap in the of market she goes to the lowest of the low the biggest amarettes of the generation when i say maharat i don't mean a gemara maharets that he only knew half a shot he was an amaranth he didn't know a single nothing zero to the point that he said once that he wants to bite the donkey should bite it not that he was a bad guy he thought that hamsa's places were against him that they were showing him up big i'm art but she had the vision she saw something that no one else saw she saw his meethas so she went to him and she said if you we get engaged will you go and learning yeshiva he shocked this the daughter of his boss yes he they couldn't get engaged and do a whole party nobody would allow such a thing who would get engaged to amaritz to the shepherd so they had to do it privately they got engaged and she sent them off it might have taken two years according to some khajbanas it wasn't that day it took a lot of convincing a lot of pushing and he went shama avua and he said you have he made a nether you have no right to touch anything from my belongings also joseph trey switched out so he went rekiva went he left his wife seems like he already had two children by the time he left at least one and he goes to yeshiva for 12 years he also but when he came back after 12 years he brought twelve thousand town meeting with him sabo he comes back with twelve thousand amid him and he hears ahusaba maybe i don't know maybe they call my law and he's the sabbath the old man tells the wife akamo how long are you going to remain a widow when you're when your husband is still alive orlais if he would listen to me yo he would go again for another 12 years sir hears this he says oh she wants me to learn more no need to go home so he returned for another 12 years we could say these words you say it again and again 12 and another year 24 years it's you can't even fathom such a thing the people in this room people get married when they're in 20 24 years of not seeing his wife not seeing his kids if he was already there why didn't he knock on the door and say hello how do you do that to your wife you're ready there for 20 seconds say hello and i'm going to go back this is why because 12 plus 12 doesn't equal 24. in math that equals to 24. but in tori mitzvahs retsifus going straight 24 years straight is not the same thing as 12 plus 12 12 and then a break and another 12 he wouldn't be the rebel kiva that he turned out to be what's gonna get to us you're learning the da for instance and you get a whatsapp and you check your phone it's not the same thing as learning the daf straight you make it take a break for a minute it's not the same thing one hold off one whole hour straight we're talking about retifus like in yeshiva we try to do receive six hours straight or whatever twenty four years without a hefster kadas he talks about have some there's no have sick nothing it was straight tire a tire attire says [Music] second time he came around he brought with him twenty four thousand can't even believe can't imagine twenty four thousand livestock meet them so his wife heard that he's coming havoc another lap atlantic so she came out to greet him omrillo shiva saw oh my gosh she was so her neighbors tell her she's eating money you gotta borrow clothing last night when i was learning it i i i got a better shot better understanding of what i read many times and i never like was yuri lahimik her father was mother enough from her for she couldn't have a dime from the guy and her husband is away for 24 years he imagined the poverty she didn't have a job she's a woman in those days so her father didn't give her money and her husband didn't give her money she had nothing she didn't have clothing her clothing that she had were the most tattered clothing in the world she told her if you're going to go greet your husband put something decent on just decent that's a shot you look terrible what are you what are you doing of his animal in other words my husband understands how poor i am the sacrifice she made no flawless she got them she fell to the ground come and ask a little kyrie she started kissing his feet it's interesting to to point out that she wasn't a neither how how not maybe she was she was anticipating she had to go to maybe you have to go to the mix even when the husband isn't there but she touched him haven't come out of the champion so his bodyguards were pushing her away everything all the tired that we have here today shalom the boys here what's going on here all the torah we have today today is from rochelle rebecca reinstituted the title there was no torah was there's nothing left he put his tommy there and they reviewed he was the one but it's all because of her vision also so her father kawasa heard that there's a goddaughter that came not knowing that it's his own son-in-law oh my result let me go see if i can get out of my nether i miss my daughter i haven't seen her for 24 years after the mafia droid also the gabe so he comes to rebecca malay adapted to the government he tells him the story when he knows exactly who this man is so he asks him no had you known that you turn into a goddale would you make such an ender malay perique and here this is where you see that he didn't know a thing zero if you knew one paragraph [Music] but how could you be made for nether on something in the future if i would have known that you would win the lottery i wouldn't be made for nether but today i didn't win the lottery just because i won the lottery in six years from now after you made the nether you can't undo another like that a peso has to be something today that exists says tyson is incredible three lines down from the top it's not considered that it doesn't exist even when a talmud goes to yeshiva that's it it's a done deal it happened already if a person goes or someone sticks in if you go with you're going to learn torah and nothing else guaranteed you're going to be a goggle guaranteed go to yeshiva guaranteed to be a godot do the daf guarantee you're going to be a goddamn as a state as long as you don't have other things in your mind not it's isis i'm not saying nadar i'm saying isis it's me i'm rebecca kiva i'm a kiva the the shepherd no fellaina lapi so cabo savor fell on his face venashi al-khairi kissed is a very very wealthy person and this is one of the ways he made he he got money his fair gave him half of his belongings the richest guy gave him half so her boy's eye i believe every single person could take the story to heart i personally when i turn 40 i recall the story and it it did something to me i said you know for all practical purposes i'm an amaris and i might not be an amaris like your vekiva because i gave a shirt then but i'm still in ammar's big i'm arts and i know i'll never reach the the the the dirt under rebecca's feet who's the greatest human being that ever lived possibly but if he started from zero zero zero zero and he ended up to be the greatest of the great so maybe i also have to do something maybe i have to change something that's when i decided to go there to strong the age of 40. everybody no matter this it's never too late no matter what amaratis you have and what your level of learning is it's never too late ribakiva and it's not you don't say oh he's a tana and he's at this and he lived so long ago and it's dif it's not different he was i'm arts i'm arts and you see from the story what a what a genius this woman was rocco the sacrifice not to take from her father to to be briggs with her own family for 24 years she saw something in the samaritans now going for the top top guy in chevron or whatever to go for the the shepherd amma are at shepherd because she saw the potential she saw she had the visions it's unbelievable everybody should look at the story and see what they can do for themselves with the story says the gemara um oh brother of akiva and the story just continues and the most continues because when a parent acts a certain way it goes to the child it's the best you take action this is what i do and this is what my kid does rather there are keepers the daughter of every kiva was married to ben assad and she did the same thing a sheep follows the sheep i thought when i was in europe we had the the the the scheckting business they always had this giant sheep that they never shafted and they would just take it and put it through the shafting machine there's a certain belt that all the sheep go and they checked on the belt and they just put this giant chip on and all the sheep would follow him and that guy would make it out alive and nobody else made it out alive that's the sheep fowl of the sheep but what's interesting is her name is rocco don't forget rafaela and her daughter followed rocco the the sheep just fouled her mother ko of the ima like a mother does it could be that by the way this is the famous story also of the daughter of verbakiva that the oni came and asked for money and she gave her everything she had the the meal and then it turns out that when she put her her thing in the wall she killed the snake could be this is the one i'll go upon him there's a guy that asked for a bracha from a town called him he said i want a bracha that my son should be so the ref told them listen you be atomic hawking you go learn torah otherwise your son is also going to come to the rav and ask him for a bracha that his son should be you gotta you gotta lead by example and i said this many times i'll say it again about my schwere famous surgeon he came through kaminsky he lives today i believe in toronto and he said what what are we going to do about much but she's not not doing well in yeshiva and skokie he said he's not doing well in shiva you're not doing well i don't know exactly how he told him he says you're a surgeon you don't learn a jewish word you're busy with your work you're why don't you open up a safer once in a while maybe your son will imitate you he told him that day went to the chicago coil and got harusa by the name of david oppenheim and they haven't stopped learning a single day since 30 something years ago and that son moish zero shiva today huh yeah because you got to lead by example you gotta lead by example something you marrow um i'm serious i can't see the words the revised of the son of brother he got a great childhood he's the son of the galador of rava they said you know go learn for six years and we can laugh at this but this is unbelievable three years three years away from his kalo and he says to himself you know moto malayamatikipuro it was that time of the year that the tamidim used to come home as ervin kipper omar i'm telling you right now if i'm not reading correctly with the with the right nikolas tell me i can't see well so he says let me go back let me go back to my house to my collar let me see what's going on over there i'm not it's airbn kipper this winner so robert hears about it choco mono he took out a weapon and he went and he confronted him so you get back to yeshiva you what are you doing here what do you think this is a joke three years the only way for three years we said six years you don't come back in middle again the same you say it as you don't break it up so you would come back and say hello to kala nothing happened no something happened it's not the same thing it's six years straight um listen to this you recalled your zaina you're here to see the uzina unbelievable rava is the it's the muscle of of of a couple because pigeons they they have one one mate for the rest of them for their entire life so you remembered about your your kawa says they started fighting about it they had a little bit of an argument he said well i was there for three years come on dad let me marry sick below my sick both of them missed the sudama sekkas they were both hungry the entire young kipper ended the story accompanied see this idea of get back to yeshiva says the mishnah the official mishna is sponsored by toyota interesting i saw an aloha that's a riddle this man is a if somebody's married to a woman he's not allowed to get married to another woman here they're ready there's an exception i don't know how many they are but this is the only one that i have ever found there's an exception if a person gets married without any heteromayor about him or anything like that and again he gets married we're not going to tell him to get divorced even though he has two wives what what's the exception this missionary a rebellious woman if you have a rebellious woman and you get married you shouldn't but if you did nobody's going to tell you anything harry is a bailout and what exactly is she rebellious about so tell you the end of the game then the guimar is from relations some say even if she refuses to do any how chores in the house and work so what do you do we take off from the judgment of the 200 zoos we take off seven per week one per day seven per week it seems like even it goes by the week not by the day maybe interesting to note we don't hold like this says tysus but i just thought it's a great shot so i'll throw it in anyway he says the xiaomi says seven a week it's one for every melaka that a woman has to do for the cooking and the baking and the cleaning and all the stuff one per so why a second later it says and if he's on my rent he rebels against her he has to pay three he says do you shout me because he's high eric susan i know sometimes we don't know like that badly doesn't hold like that but it's just a gesh markup shot review seven entire beginners gonna say at the end it's half at massage how much could he take off seven per week how much now ad can i get tsubasa so if your typical sub is 200 you go for 28 weeks if there's much more stuff in the xuba does to sephis suba you keep on going even could dig into an inheritance that she doesn't have today because it'll be a hive that she owes him and in the future when she comes into some money she she inherits she wins the lottery she has to pay up okay it's another very this is a shocker it's something that i didn't really think about so i thought i'll share with you if somebody's wife is in my redness she hasn't been with him and i've heard a lot of stories like this some people actually advise women to be moira then so let's say a woman is a mirandas for a year or two is her husband allowed to be in the same house with her is this it's a shocker from you it's from your own wife the mother shyam says yeah it's awesome ravaging pascas is also some argue but just thought i'll throw it out there it's no different if a man it is different than the matthias but a man could rebel against his wife and he gets punished as well might seem like it wasn't mark explains why is he in the mouth why is it different because he has much more tired than the woman says she gets an extra three dinner in her subaru not just her salary everything tanaan says he rebels against her makes a lot of sense what he has to clean the house he has to do stuff in boy man any zombie fired us i'm not going to give you anything i'm not going to give you money i'm not going to give him finance oh so he's to give her vomit vault my rap says good morning oh hey mario any zombie fighters if you think you don't add three like the mission says if he rebels you add three zuzim uh three zuzim a a week but it says over here rav says you give a divorce immediately there's no his own money he says what do you mean nobody gets divorced within 24 hours oh he's kind of a divorce boom whoever has to get divorced you go to bed and and they they ask you questions you come back you know how it goes today it could take two three years five years who knows how long these today's getting everybody because they do it on purpose they want people to take it back and see maybe we could go to to somebody's counseling and this and that so during that period of time that we're going back and forth he pays three three three dinner a week it's not a contradiction yeah raf says you have to get divorced but not this minute in two months from now okay two months it's eight weeks times three eight times three years okay yeah boy uh fine basically it says we're gonna have the entire price on home base but now we're taking part of it it says we're talking about emirates somebody who's murdered she rebels against her husband accusation doesn't matter if she rebels when she's a rooster what does it mean a rebellious arusa there's no taj managed by a russo it means she doesn't want to get married comes time to get married she says no oh you don't want to get married let's start dinging the tsuba until there's nothing left and then you get divorced so this is interesting and either so we're going to talk about the neither she's us at him anyway so what exactly is she rebelling now ebon is in the parishes of shiva let me just show you the chart the second case you forgot what it is oh i forgot to take out the daf but okay we'll do that everywhere so here you have two baldwin brothers room and shipment and reuven is married to rahul and then reuben goes sideways just for you know but here i changed it up because we always say she falls leave them so ah she falls the evil and she can't she gets married to the brother rashi takes these lines out but we can read them anyway just in case if you say that she's rebelling against working it makes a lot of sense you can't there's no time for anyone sally machine league pastor sally or enlightened fine so the answer is no if a person knows that in a week from now he'd be muted his wife so proud but even though right now she's lost her and she says i'll never be with you that causes him aggravation and that's why you get divorced okay it's possible have relations with somebody that's it hello why should she get what why is she considered this if she is sick she can't do malachi anyways says more you're right please when the word when it says it means tashmesh everybody agrees we're only arguing another thing is also considered rebellious if a woman says i will not work i won't do anything i'm going to sit on my couch and do nothing all day is that considering it's not considered rebellious you know at least you don't get penalized penalized like that seven of the week of the whole thing is sponsored in honor of yankee bell horn and to finish learning shots with her belly and for all those who skipped emails and don't know that we are starting a brand new volume of art scroll and in order to get a freebie so big value it's like what 35 here in eduardo's at least 50 200 shackles sometimes no what does it cost no 93c brew 150 shackle for the english okay depends where you get a free one if you bring somebody to share you go to growthishear.com bring your friend not only free gemara is nothing that we all know that i just who did i meet i met somebody that has two articles shots in but he brought some of this so he could get a freaking mural not joe he told me that why not get her something free okay great but much more than that i'm serious he told me that but much more than that you get bring somebody to tire to change their lives also you do tomorrow a very big favor because he doesn't know what to do with those extraordinaries he has piles and piles of gumaras that nobody did darling didn't get the friend no what about you mandy how about your partner he does it let's get him with stefanski with bornstein we'll give him a freaking more maybe we'll do it okay mara goofa how may this happen okay so going back to the price of the whole bride so now if she huh okay whatever whatever listen if that's the only that's the only way you could do it great girls boys whatever hamaresta belgium should be normal shabbos seventy norm a week reviews they argue and they say no you don't keep on going 28 weeks and sometimes 120 weeks depending on how much she has in the xuba four weeks and she's gone that's all we give her that's it you get you have four weeks to understand this we're going to explain to you you are going to lose everything this is what we have before this is where we started before doesn't matter whether she's engaged and she doesn't want to get married why should she be considered rebellious if any ways she's not in the powershell on marley in the door maybe she actually salo the meat shameless passive salary is such a tremendous decision that if a person is fasting and he can't get the food he feels the fast but if a person has the whole meal in front of you can eat whatever he he's not hungry so if a person knows that his wife is going to be muted him eventually then it's fine but once she tells him no done we had the other day right just yesterday a person who works on a ship he's going to be gone anyways for six months you don't have anything worse than that six months separation no but if she says one word today it's already not past the salary shall mean strong says they make the clap on the bema all children out we got to tell you about this crazy woman who rebelled against her husband they say the name they say the whole maison exactly what you rebelled about nervous tremendous byzantine you're we're hoping that out of the boucha she's going to do some chuva get back with her husband brother in omarova joshua victory it's only on champions that what this is the day says rashid that everybody doesn't have work and they all get together to be sad madrid and as soon as i was thinking about it everybody gets to be somebody's south africa everybody comes to base medicine shop it doesn't matter your affiliation unaffiliated the most non-religious jews they show up to show on friday night they come with the cars and they sit down next to the from guys everybody buddy buddy right i'm exaggerating everybody goes to show there's not everybody don't believe not everybody that happens you think that there's fired him or something no they're lit facts it's unbelievable no i'm saying it's friday okay spider they're so connected to hashem and no matter what killing them here you have even ashkenazi mara they all come to show and that's where that's why says ravi you see for me that's your macro is in the basement that's where they come in listen it's going to be embarrassing your own children are going to come home and say mommy what's going on here why why are they saying your name in show and why do they kick out all the other kids from show besides us and after they're done with the four times they come and they warn her again doraj listen to this name important to remember dora sr this is urban african yes but his name is the son of christ we don't go like our mishna that we keep on taking off seven a week seven a week forever four weeks and she's gone omarov it's not true what you're saying this is the difference his name is i said it to who tour of nachman he's talking to her nothing i said this over um what are you saying he's saying i told it him and i told it to him in the name of somebody says review command salvador and ravo made fun of this he said it's not true what is he holding we keep on going every week seven off a week seven seven and if the tsuba is like two million dollars it could be like 60 years [Music] where am i no so he said the name rather held dialogues like your chats that you you just keep on going and you speak to her and i said in the name of jesus how does it work um want to be married to the guy this is a real makshafa i want to be married um but i want to give him soros mama's on a high level no if stam she's disgusted in her husband that's not a meredith if she says no i want to be married to the guy i actually like him physically maybe but i hate him right now and i want to torture him that's a miradis avalon if she says i'm he's repulsive he's disgusting like caffeine in law so now we're going to go into mars light and this is a tina that i've seen with my own eyes people this is what they like to use a lot women say must lie and i i'm just curious i'm sure i'm best and they say what does most mean by the way like she's the teacher say just say most i'm disgusted by the guy why do you want to get i hate him i'm disgusted by it that's that's a a very common thing today she says that look rafinola but she says rashi points out she doesn't want her super i'm good with alex subba just get me out of here and today also soup is not a it's not a big function in a divorce it's more about the kids and the and then and what do they call it um custody custody says you force her what do you mean you force forcer have though says the gemara of akbar of marzucc so you force another you say get back then stop hacking in china maybe maybe you're in a bad mood today go back say tomorrow's story that he actually forced a woman to get back with her husband now to be with your husband when you're forced it's it's terrible you have the word the gemara says you have bad kids it's not a good thing to be in a forced position so what do you see over here they had a great kid they had a godzilla door they had a goddaughter says over there because marsupial was the one the goggle forced her so she wasn't repulsed anymore she wasn't she didn't have that the the she was a mouse and because she was a mother they had a great kid but if she was if she remained most if she she thought he's a repulsive guy he wouldn't have had that goddamn says gamora casa the one that forced them so in melodies no repulsiveness says markow said imarda what does it matter mean so rashi points out right away unbelievable it doesn't mean the merid that we're talking about until now that she says she says tina's most says rashi why because if she was a miredes we would take everything away from her entire tsuba her clothing everything that's what we said until now we only had to make like is where they take away the niksim look but over here this story wouldn't make sense if it was a different taina so it's that says rashi talking about meredith doesn't mean a typical marist that we said until now rather it means she's most have a twist she had a silk coat she grabbed onto it and she ran away with it yes um where did we just have these three sitting together just two half ago where marzuccio got a typhoon for the hazar and he took the finger and gave him two days ago so the three of them were singing again there's a concept called means the torn the worn out clothing which exists caillou they exist she lost her clothing [Music] just because he's an ambassador i'm going to look into a business today he's such a honor of that he wouldn't argue in learning why is that enough i thought you're supposed to argue in learning somebody says something wrong you tell him off no sadashi is such a humble person they argued him and he took it interesting we have to look into it but because he's such an ambison you're going to flatter him oh my buddy buddy robin very positive he wasn't so sure who gets to keep the clothing and all the stuff the which we call soy embarrassment looks like some embarrassing these are objects that she brought into the marriage that are not in the tsuba this is [Music] he didn't know what to say in this case since we don't know that what do you always do when we don't know that so therefore top selling for canola if she grabs her code we don't take it away from her however latex if she didn't take it we make her wait this is a big allah over here we'll say quickly she waits 12 months if the husband divorces her before the 12 months he has to give her xuba you have to do a waiting period of 12 months why don't you see akashata last name is going to about but during those 12 months she does not have bizarreness reforest avi mendelbaum have a wonderful day you