Daf Yomi Kesubos Daf 4 by R’ Eli Stefansky

before we start so about a year ago this one i was in muncie and then that's where i stole the song it's extracted of that i want to steal another song with you but everybody has to help me out together you ready goes like this right it's all about the yoymi that looks right it's all about right [Applause] let me take this away [Applause] [Music] from lakewood i was born here [Applause] it's good to be back things have changed i was a year old i don't remember the space measures exactly but for hosting wherever the host is and all the others many others today i'm coming from deal new jersey and the rabbi introduced me and the rabbit gave this whole speech he said that i'm under the weather he's talking about me i have a sore throat we had a big seal i don't know if who was there we heard about it we had to see him with bell words screaming and dancing so i lost my voice and he says all this and i get up to speak and he said and the whole place is laughing now you guys you guys are still rigid and deal they're like you know but i got to tell you we have a lot to learn from all different types of vietnam if you haven't been there i walked into this marriage on friday morning for chakras there were literally hundreds of people learning torah there was such a cold tower there you wouldn't believe it i'm used to i was i always grew up in new york and i used to say the syrians you know the guys that walk around with these funny kippahs on avenue s with the big mansions the guys are stagging away it's in it's unbelievable they had over a thousand people in one show today just learning for hours this morning i woke up i wake up usually pretty early but i'm on vacation here so i got up a little bit before seven snuck into the kitchen and learned for about an hour and a half i had these lazy bums no one is to be seen and a sudden this kid comes down and goes uh you didn't go to synagogue yet like huh he says my dad went at 6 30. they all went they all died at 6 30. is unbelievable so i got to the show this morning and i started listening to them in shibera and the guy goes a thousand dollars for the show a thousand dollars for the heritage foundation a thousand dollars for the school so i thought this guy's a big usher so like wow unbelievable three thousand dollars he dropped on aaliyah so the guy next to me happens to be doing the daf with us in mdy and he said no no that guy's the schneider of the show wait a guy got up there 10 000 for the show 10 000 for this and then somebody said you're not going to believe 52 000 for now leo stamana chavez on a review 52 000 we have a lot to learn from them in terms of torah in terms of giving zdaka on crazy i'm telling the least and then i got an alia i didn't know what to do i'm like [Applause] so let me just there's a couple of emails here i want to share with you we do emails and i'm on the roads there's not a lot of charts today not a lot of stuff let's see this is not working oh it is okay so over here we have a picture of the seom in manchester this is about 150 people panoramic shot take a look derebelli my humble opinion the correct english translation of inus is mishap yesterday i was struggling for the words yes i agree from hillside new jersey ooh let's see if i can read this it's very very small letters here i know you probably get a lot of emails like this one but i still let feel felt the need to write to you so yeah rabboissai thank you iron hershey boys here's the guy yeah even though i get a lot of emails it's still good at youtube i'll put it back soon it's look at that to write in i read every one i don't read them on online like this but i read every single email i get i get 30 to 40 a day sometimes more i want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping my me finish despite growing up in a day school environment and learning for a year in yeshiva and israel i've never finished in the seth of my life i started him the wife back in february by the way today i learned for the first time mdy is not our name it's magen david is suing us i've never finished himself in my life i started the white bat in february in the middle of hagiga i was immediately hooked by the way by the very interesting and intriguing way that he delivered the shirt hashem haven't missed a day i'm still in with things i'm talking like a svaradi always excited for the new dev i think it's quite appropriate that i'm doing the daffodil mdy the first time you ever learned which night is ibabas when i started in shiva 30 years ago i think about myself schneiderlin and [Music] and i also think it's quite appropriate that i'm learning to daf with you since we are both born in lakewood in the early 70s and i've always felt the kindred spirit with others from that background i wonder if we ever met as kids back then maybe in the hospital doing that has changed me over the past few months i was also able for probably for the first time in 30 years to stay up and learn all night on shabbat thank you for the help and inspiration allowing me to finally find someone who can help me grasp the concept so much easier best rob arnold efrat israel nick dubrowski last night was absolutely amazing said it perfectly me finishing obama's no no way over 122 straight that's crazy i did it we did it thank you we're closing in on a year this rosh hashanah i'll be able to stand proudly and say i had the best brokenness year of my life blake jabraski all right i can't read this wow i should have broke my glasses maybe the other created for me can anybody see it on the screen wow hold on let me seriously i gotta bring it to authorities myself could you make this larger maybe just for now oh that's much better i'm getting nervous there the sponsor [Applause] what's going on here we'll use both of them now [Music] one of them will work hopefully as this close fascinating because you're safe healthy and happy and hashem knows that they love them he loves them the products for today david is my son ellie has been with mdy since july 9th 2020 tough basin sokol well done simca lifter i had a very good relation closer relationship with ravi goldsworthy sadik and i when i was in the catering business he was the one who gave us the hamster a member of my mother lc list house shindon batara and her shot at 39 years of her children beverly think doctor alan styles dr michelle nordloff and dr cindy dabrinski for shleiman alisa by sunny halawani remembering my grandmother freda here we go if i could see the gemara now i can't see okay we are holding daft gimbal base yeah i didn't say smart how many of you don't do that you might fly don't be embarrassed raise your hands fine only three people i have a bunch of some guys are not saying that was here you know what i'll ask you how many guys are doing daffy i mean now they have to lie only three people raise their hands look at that so how come before when i asked who doesn't do nobody ah okay if you don't do that for your voice i i believe that film is for everybody and i'll just tell you a real real picket sir yes we learned londos and we learned i learned in yeshiva some of the best achievers if you don't learn may it gives you a consistency in life in torah and you described in everything else because it's the best program out there that gives you every single day it gives you a lot a lot of ideas a lot of background to the tire that we learned if you learn lumbas and if you learn with cabarrusa but it's really about doing you all about the yami what it means is that you're learning entirely connecting together every single day with a you can do it in addition to everything else you do all right so kamara we're talking about one let's see which one we'll pick this one [Music] is there a special way to put it in uh ironhurst we're talking about why the mission says get married on wednesday why would it be that sometimes you get get married on a monday four lines from the bottom give a little base what there's always something yeah just stand there and hold it lasagna yeah goodbye not bye-bye but goodbye by the way we have one of the bowman brothers right here in the front abby kamiyanski if you know you said this obama's we had a lot of cartoons and we had four bold guys from the share we called them the baldwin brothers the reason why somebody get married on a monday is because a big mishap happened he already baked the bread he already shucked the animal vienna muzzled and he already poured the water into the wine he mixed the wine now could all spoil could go bad and the hussan's father died it happened in ramaphichemish and it happens a lot unfortunately the husson's father died during the khasanam happened so what do you do have dilemma hussein wants to get married all the guests are there the food is ready everything is going the caterer and the zavelos zaninos so you shall call it it's one of the two people not the mother of the husband not the father of the cow it's the father of the cousin because he makes all the food and the mother of the kaala she does the dormants the takashitim which are perishable like perfume things like that the roshanim say not the gold because gold doesn't go bad but certain things that the women used to wear that go bad in those days the father would cross inside would make tahasa today it changed a little bit why so one of the reasons they saw is that if you go to hasana yesterday for those of you who haven't seen this here yet um he says just say it over real because i said yesterday but uh if you only came for this it's kadai if a khala pays for the khasana like they do today and then they get divorced you think you have to pay you have to pay uh super how much is xuba a couple thousand dollars says ramosha no since it wasn't her hero who's the hussein of like the gemara says here so you have to pay back the twenty thousand dollars of the hasana that she gave she brought into the marriage like nixie maluk sort of unbelievable i don't know if they passed it i never heard somebody pay for that but that's what he says you don't bury if you bury the nifter then the clock starts ticking that veil starts right away so you bury the mace you put the mason in a room and you don't tell the hustle anything maybe there's a joseph hope a very sad story so yes he's in a massive of an enos but not in the matzo of avelus avenues don't start until the quran mitzvah [Music] is kelly so very interesting idea the first person she's with creates a plea she has a special bond with that person you know she gets married to somebody else later on that's why it's called bila smith's home love garlic we're trying to build this mitzvah what's bothering this bothering tyson's that it's not bill smith because we learned that the first beer you can't even have a kid from so then why is it being smithson says because it brings two it's a step towards two okay so you push it off is that let me try without is it annoying uh yeah but it's off it says [Music] she wears the jewelry or the different things that they used to wear then it's only in that order the father's the husband's father the cow's mother the lucky inish the target because who's going to make a hasana we have to use the food right now interesting if it's if it's the opposite the father of the color the mother of the huss and you do have a list right away so when you get married what do you do sometimes just discusses at the revenue time says that after the shiva you don't have to wait the sloshing after shiva get married boil right away all my wrath from my poppo today we call it like the frosting the meat from the freezer can't really do much with it afterwards those days they pour the water on the meat so the clock starts ticking you can't you can't sell it so easily it's not as good so the meat is going to get ruined some russian say it's not only the meat it's the bread it's the wine but one thing some say no that's the meat if you still have meat that you could sell easily so then we don't go through all this let them sit shiva we'll make you have a lot of people there's a lot of stores a lot of things there's a big market so it doesn't matter even if you put water on the bus or you defrost the meat you could also do shiva now worry about you're not going to lose that much money the clocks are sticking there's nobody to sell to nobody there's no market value if there's if there's water on the meat then the clock starts ticking there's no water you just told me if it's in the city doesn't matter because there's a lot of people so even if there's water if it's in a small village it doesn't matter even if there's no water so then what's the left water or no where's the navcamina okay classic terrorism going on this is not a city not a lakewood [Music] so it's a good example i don't know it's a shocking city not a big city but not a not a village in between it's not it's not a it's not a city but it's not a village [Music] where's this from so malaysian how you doing nice to meet you too so that that doesn't deserve a clown and guys don't happen top and taking pictures like that okay i know he's not from a famous if he came with the big camera no he's coming with his little iphone i know he's not going to any newspapers or anything it's time for his own collection anybody else want to come up here now fine come come come go let's go says this thing iron or is the guy with the iphone to take pictures i think you are a nurse everybody putting that in your head are you embarrassed obviously yeah yeah okay everything's ready to go but listen to this and the bracelet says [Music] you put the water on top of the meat by the way has anybody ever been to a wedding where they served venison you know what venison is dear meat anybody been you know why you've been to one so you the house it says you should not serve dear meat at a wedding islam i'll tell you that not gonna get to anything so but it says before us that there's water on top of the bottle um tell me if they need it and guys in the back of here okay i'll try to make it louder and then there's i don't know now there's something about slaysham also no first 30 days maybe this is shiva the shloshim and generous and the first year of avedos similar things if a guy got married right after the football she became a needle today the meaning is she sleeps with the young girl he sleeps as a young boy so even though typically available or not is no berry of shabbos for living with the shops so we're going to that shabbos is a problem of khaburo this dom this is a problem we'll see typically means things that other people don't know about like showers and tashmesh so it's not going to get anybody here but since i live in arizona avi hello who else is here from america's role gary by the way larry perlzer shamalicon with larry we came from meredith's role they came special for the seal avi gary tomer here's gary he's the guy that does the tech there's a booth in my pajamas [Applause] we have a booth in the basement with cameras a lot of cameras so this gary he does every single day for the last four years he hasn't missed a day every single day [Applause] well this past month he said that this friday was the first time he ever missed in four years okay i'll show kendall shalom where was it going with that oh so wow so every peso besides the one year of covid we go to chicago for pesach so we fly from merits as well to chicago and it's very annoying because everybody has this three-day yantef and that's one of the beautiful things of being able to swell dikka you don't have to keep the two days but not when you come to america you have to keep everything this is there's really nothing that differentiates between so many families this role and an american on yontif no you can't go into the bathroom and text you can't do anything no drums in a garden instrumentation there's no no different there's a negative to that onyantif not so much navel's part but you can't do any malacha a lot of people i've seen with my own eyes israelis that come and they sneak out and they go in the car and they go to the mall can't do that and not even worm ships in other words not even when nobody sees you there is so digimon is saying that the my aide the and our sugiya of chevy brocas is the same thing the the the hassan and kala there their their simcha is like yantef and the same allah has applied dora but if there's a b law then we're not concerned says we're talking about over here when the father the mother and lifter we say he should be boiled the top right the tap word in the um you have to separate them why though you don't have to separate them says imaro [Music] there's also a case of anita turn around turn around you'll have i know you did it already okay look upstairs too look look you'll have a lot of sound gans from my magazine so this is allah that we said that they don't have to separate because we're talking about it's a chorus it's the chorus of nido everybody's careful even if he has a type it doesn't have title be careful with neither that's it it says there's no difference we said we added on these in addition if a person gets married not a novel and his wife became a need though so the love is applied look higher up just like by valos you have to separate so too by nino says gemara but there's a difference when it comes to where they got to sleep the person need to sleep with [Music] then then it's the same allah then it's the same as that they have to separate otherwise is different so you just turn to that dalaran base sponsored by i don't know by who but oh my god for rabbi medetsky who he claims was the best basketball player ever and by nisano but not this nissan different one for miranda cash who also he did the entire bellworks uh seal and hosted 160 people for the shabbos and deal so that saddle says okay you're telling me that if his wife isn't he does this chorus she's going to be careful but if this avails people take it less seriously that typically a woman does for her husband or woman could do for her for her husband today now woman doesn't need though obviously this is israel so when it says so typically we say means to be moist means in those days wine was really really strong and they had to dilute it with like a third of water now it means something slightly different it means that she cannot serve in wine these are all in your name of kiba that could lead to aveiro so she can't serve him wine meaning she can't spread the sheets also indian of riba but so if we're talking about nagiya obviously she can't touch him but what she what we're saying is even more she can't even pour the water on his face and on his feet those days was their hebo wash off his feet you know they didn't really have shoes whatever it was very muddy ways tanya you can't force your wife to wear makeup i'm saying the word makeup loosely that's better as we understand it femi you know whether it means perfume and whatever they used to wear in those days is it says here that we're not concerned about the devotional rebel when it comes to avedos why because we're not concerned they're gonna they're gonna have relations they're gonna be careful by me the we're concerned we have to make our hawk up by advance we don't have to make it so what do you see that advance is even more calmer by people than neither so why tell them if i cared where do we have to separate them when the man has avails man we're concerned maybe he's a veilos he's not as the rashad says rashad says it says she says that women that was part of the koala that they have more tsar more anxiety more the word about a lot of stuff that men aren't so when it comes to veils also he says the more about veilos the more bizarre or bizarre they're going to stay away from their husband that we're not concerned that they'll be over by when the man has avails maybe he won't be misguided as he hates her campbell is the day come by vedos the dog so there's a mix here doesn't seem to say enough amino in his availables it's all the same not about sleeping together this the other the other thing the other niana in the bride says in other words his wife's father dies his wife's mother the schweger dies he can't force his wife to wear makeup she's not available she's in a real elevators in those days they used to take the bed and flip it over why don't we do it today says we don't do it why not because there's a shot that people are going to think that we're in the kitchen of graham are going to come in and out we don't we don't flip the bed in those days they would flip the bat as the cinnamon all the beds would flip in the house as it seemed for availas hear this what are the three hardest things in yiddish kite three hours things they say to each other on a very short chavez tier for a very long shabbos and to be known you got failures for this figure [Music] so this figure dies you have to pretend it's not nice the wife is by values so you also you do whatever you have to do in front of her it's it's sometimes it's mama's uh steer him in a bait you're laughing so hard inside and you're crying at another shop i say all these jokes only because my mother-in-law happens to be the best mother-in-law and i told her to watch tonight's cheers so amela i'll stick to that okay now the the flip side also if herschel her trigger dies and her shoulders she should not wear makeup even though she's not really about vegas hello is now if there was enough community between when she's in avelo and he's an availa it doesn't mention it here it doesn't say anything about oh fizzovo then they have to sleep in separate rooms doesn't say anything it's just mentioned she's an available she lost her parents he has to pretend she's a he has a friend she has to pretend but doesn't talk about this indian of separating so you see that there's no enough kimino between her and him got a little problem and therefore we have to add some words there to me if it says there is you have to stick it seems like it's the same whether it's the same idea that we said twice already but some part of it on makeup is the same whether her father dies or his father dies can't force it to wear makeup she shouldn't wear makeup so stay my foot she's with them where she doesn't have to leave the room she doesn't have to sleep with the women my love they share the same bed some say it's not literally the same bed same room it means in the same house where i've told the sun here literally in front of her face or in the same area same house but if she's not there not in the house and in front of her you don't have to be annoying okay so you see this idea that you have to be knowing velos for this figure and it means not the mito imo it means when you're in the same area then you have to be naive how can we compare an avedos that just happened the first day of the hasanah to the regular avenues this serious available's going on so nobody's going to take it lightly when you tell the cousin listen your father just died but let's dance let's make all hasanah let's make all chevy brothers so the whole heaviness of the situation goes away what's the what did you do different elements only boil be last minute we said and we're going to explain now there's no availables yet so what the father died it's not over yet what is he his iron it's different why everybody has their achievements the first time i read it i just read by it like this oh if quantifiably as a starts when the mace goes out of the house according to ibishua she says then it hit me like a ton of bricks i remember my mother was nifter which was 49. and nobody should know about this at least not until they're much older but when i could tell you but they did have overdose my mother left her for hours we were crying but when the fever khadijah took her out of the house it was a whole different thing all different level it was such a tsar it was like wow they're really taking her she's never coming back it hits you like a ton of bricks that's when that vehicle starts and then yeshua says when they cover wow that's sad that happens then you know tremendous desire you lost somebody but when they put that dirt on now you know for real never ever you're gonna see that person it's a whole different level of attire that's when that veil starts and here what would what did we do we put the bat in the refrigerator we put in another room and therefore a boy said that's tomer levy he's standing up finally he's our executive director [Applause] thank you oh wow yeah hot water okay we're almost done where am i uh so what's the cooler you might ask what's the cooler it can't be to be less meaningful so the the reason why it's a cooler is because the mace was nifter and you're doing chevy brachas that's the biggest school in the world partying for seven days straight you forgot about the mace as if nothing happened and only afterwards you do shiva so now you're going to be making the whole thing aubameyang let's just do a few more lines so we get to um hey van gaal even with the shadows so no matter what beer is showing it shouldn't be on friday night and then at monthly shops michelin versus what a coincidence unbelievable i love when we learn uh gemara we're talking about we learn rosh hashanah it's on rosh hashanah what are the chances you're going to learn more about what's the challenge it's unbelievable i will tell you really hi guys i'm miss murders okay so i just want to tell you uh about it monsieur chavez wherever yourself said when he's the rev in tel aviv he gathered all the caterers and he begged them not to do any sort of weddings or any sort of function on a matsushab it's because of the phil shops that happens and we when we had our big seal over a thousand people in my pachamash see my then we couldn't get it all nobody would do it i wanted chavez we had to convince the owner and i didn't realize why he said he never does the function of massachusetts like all right you can make good money have a minute they don't do it but they did it for us another thing is if if like bohemian falls out amateur shabbos so the immaculate to do that many many hours after cesar chavez because of all the cops and all the macaulay shabbos they don't want them to be there and be shabbos for them but what's the biggest mitsubishi chavez because if well the khasana can't be really on shabbos classic could be on mother shabbos but the guy is going to make all these calculations and we're going to discuss tomorrow what you lad are doing not economy calculation of shabbos this shabbos i asked somebody in deal i asked him what he does for a living he told me and rashid quotes the puzzle with davidova he tells me i can't tell you now in chavez come to me at matsushabs i'll tell you that's what he did i'm not joking i felt like an idiot but okay like i was just kidding i didn't really want i meant how much time are you whenever i was in the davidova you're deeper and chop it shouldn't be the same deeper that you have like the the grass says in the garage because you can't even say the word challenge because your divorce should be different but there's an indian it's a very very important thing to make sure that you don't talk about business you don't talk about the trips you're going to make amazing how you're going to get there all the stuff that's us to do and we're concerned that hassan and the family are going to be discussing different things about the casanova so that's why have a wonderful day thank you for having me [Applause] you