Daf Yomi Bava Metzia Daf 59 by R’ Eli Stefansky

[Music] a good from Chicago or whenever you're watching this after it's all good in case you're watching it tomorrow so we have you a reminder for I'm making a on the line that it says over it's not about the it's about it is about the it's also about the we'll have to change that eventually I don't want to beat a dead horse but I thought this was a very nice email although it mentions the same thing over was K for for this part I've been meaning to write to you for a long time I've been part of your since I went to the shabbaton in Stanford Connecticut with one of my boys now listen to this this is incredible My Wife and Kids still remind me whenever we squeeze into our little car that I sold her car we had two cars and I convinced my wife that we only really need one so I sold my wife's car so we could pay for the shabbaton do you hear what's going on here this individual sold his car pay for the Shabbat my son and I had a great time so there's a number number of things I want to point out here so first of all it's an unbelievable thing you sell your car so you go to the Shabbat but the thing is he sold his wife's car so that he could go to the shabbaton and he and his son went to the shabbaton not even his wife so it's still an incredible thing I'm very very proud of you that's the way to do it as we'll seen today suya if you have a choice to sell your car your wife's car you're supposed to sell your wife's car let her stay at home this is what we're talking about to be careful with the cover of your wife whole thing whole unbelievable Bruce I'm especially I'm very very very proud of you no I am I like him a lot Bruce Kesler from Bergenfield New Jersey the reason why I'm finally writing today is because after watching your B I knew I couldn't push it off anymore towards the end of the year you got emotional because of your appreciation that hasm gave you the ability to prepare and give two Happ to be a very emotional person and one of the things I love about you is how you connect with your them in so many different ways when you cry I cry when you laugh I laugh another thing that was very NE today not to hurt somebody's feeling and not to embarrass somebody in public so I'm not sure if I was Ming both of those things by making fun of Bruce Kesler in front of 20,000 people but I hope he knows my humor and we're moving on thank you for all that all you and your team ATD do to help us learn the do I want to wish you and your family tell Bruce C no it really is a very special to me it's a very special email guy sells this card to do do um I don't know if we Mark are we able to do volume over here good M rebell it was great being at your first live Shar last week in America from Chicago attached video are the five zri children whose motherly died in a horrific car accident two years ago I know all about the accident there's a terrible terrible tragedy the ski if you remember in Colorado there was a couple going skiing and they they got into a crazy accident their father Joel is an mdy member Steve SEL Baltimore here we [Music] go who is our favorite do Yi M cheer perfect one thing you can see that they're very well behaved kids g a great great life and uh good to you guys this is the famous car somebody sent it to me again I I keep on getting it over and over because it is a special car it says join mdy which is a call for action on a license plate plus it has the magnets so it's I believe it was a back in the day when we got it probably like a year ago spitler huge ma toari from M and the birth of his baby girl huge is one of the few who takes the initiative into his own hand goes out and brings people does all these organizes all these different things in Manchester from the malava malas and theum etc etc so tremendous sponsored by anonymous for the safe and Speedy return of all the hostages last day by thank you so much for teaching come from supp business and all my endeavors kid Novation LLC in honor of mar ashkanazi the one and only Mark ashkanazi who I have to say this over and over on a shabas is behind the scenes he's doing two today he doesn't get any of the The Glitz and the cover and everything else that gets he's behind the scenes doing the shear without saying a word whenever I ask I say can we do this year now yes I'll be ready whenever it is so only pay you for your and what does he say kidovations markazi while he was out with his family took the time to help out another MD wire with a medical emergency to find quickly there's a person who's looking out for other people to find Z for other people Mark I guess your family's already used to this you go out you're you're on a trip with the family you drop them you do the medical thing you're on a trip with the family you drop them you do the shear you did unbelievable easy child birth his daughter and healthy baby Bo we have one of the most famous doent CH one of the most famous stories that ever happened in Chas and number of times we go back to the story the story of tan the famous story where re was in a fight argument in with although he was right but were right because they're the majority and they put him into and he was in for the rest of his life the calls him sh says when the person that's is referring to says like with one word I believe a number of times we go back to the story it's in B very very famous Story and there's many lessons that we could learn from that story and also the of of insulting your friend I received an email or what was it maybe a a what'sapp from somebody oh from fishal that a new person somebody that joined mdy recently said oh I never knew that you can't go into the store and just ask them for prices and walk out we're learning things we're learning practical in two three days actually we're starting um in two days but it gets real interesting in four days from now first two days are kind of easy but Etc we're holding the last line on the bottom of a person prefers to be and not to embarrass his friend in public reminds me story I don't even know if I should say I was once in a in a hotel I mentioned this a number of times with a bunch of a lot of there and there were more that went off to D they weren't really on the D and their wives weren't dressed very and they were they were doing like uh AUM on Friday night and the women came to the table there's a lot of men there and so men started saying hey why are your wife's here so they said you going to be it's better not to be to be they started quing this gor over here nobody wanted to hear about it it was it was almost went physical it's better here's a picture that Yoshi did in other words like oh and here's the continuation just look at the he's ker is a big shy but you know what big shy doesn't embarrass other people and you're embarrassing somebody be do know so this is a the famous story with married it's a complicated story and whoever says that D sinned is only making a mistake but what happened was wanted to marry B but she was still married to ur sent Ur out to war and similar today unfortunately also we have a very similar thing that when they go out to war they leave a get for for their wife uh I saw specifically even in um Korean War American soldiers Jewish soldiers left get for the wives so there's no question of auna the way it works it works retroactive they're not going to divorc the wife today but if something happens if they they get killed so the divorce res active something like that so there was a get that was given that if urya dies his wife was divorced retroactively married her before urya died once he died retroactively it became clear that she was a divorce so says Sali is a lotion of rib myella my wife right because was taken from the which is not really the rib it means the bone tailbone okay they were very joyous they gathered what does that mean you know I don't have any blood running through my veins from all the bu and embarrassment that these people have caused me as we said yesterday when a person is embarrassed so his face flushes his blood but then it it drains out it's an expression of look at the they caus me talking about one of the greatest people that ever lived I always like to ask people I used to ask this a lot if you could meet two people from history who would they be and a lot a lot of people say they want to meet just a fascinating figure in he wrote to him he was always the underdog nobody believed in him he's the the short redhead the the one that nobody liked and now finally he's the king and they're putting him down again they're saying oh listen to this says learning the hardest things that you can possibly learn the good news for is that we don't learn it it's not part of the so they come to me in a tricky way in a sarcastic way they come to me they say somebody who was over what death penalty does he get answer to them get as we mentioned yesterday the last line last two lines when you do it helps even for they have I say this with with um trepidation with being very fearful because because unfortunately the way I was born with a very very weak filter and I have an audience and many times I snap sort of you know people do things or you know guy leaves his phone on and Rings four times in a row and I'll say something to them in public I could be over on this it's very very very severe you embarrass your friend in public you don't have a portion it's not a joke person would prefer to jump into a fiery flame and not to embarrass your friend once in public so I'm going to say this again I want to ask people tonight if they know the story about UD and T because there's a couple of points that are so simple yet I'm not sure that everybody's familiar with the points what exactly happened with Yehuda and T why did she want to be with Yehuda and why did Yuda say that she must die and then oh she doesn't have to die what happened very very simple Tamar was a she died and her husband I mean her husband died and didn't leave any children and therefore she has to marry her brother-in-law but in the time before the T was given it's not just the brother-in-law it's also the father-in-law it's anybody related so therefore when she couldn't marry Shaya she decided she must marry her father-in-law Yehuda so she pretended that she was AA and she was with Yehuda Yehuda didn't know that he was with her he thought that he was with a z but when they found out that she's pregnant is not to marry outside only to her y only to her brother-in-law to her father-in-law but not to a stranger so when they found out she's pregnant they said oh she's and yud agreed with that when Yuda found out that it's from him so she's not that I think is very important that there was the was extended to family members before mat he also of is she went out to be killed but also she was lit on fire and the says literally she was lit on fire she put into the but she wouldn't burn like you shouldn't um say not nice things to to your friend says I used to use this a lot you know I don't know if it's the right thing warns about using this and he says I'm going to tell you a het now for I don't want to tell it to you because there are going to be people that are going to be using it in the wrong way but I have to tell you because it's t and the I have to say but it's like a double-edged sword on the one hand it's t on the other hand people are going to misuse it and he finishes off and he says the will go with it in the right way and those who sin you to stumble on it what's the the is that when somebody doesn't act when somebody doesn't act he doesn't do the then you're not to respect him with you could insult him and you could talk about what exactly that person is okay that we have to figure out this that but this this big of was said to somebody that's that's a person who's with you with a person has to be very careful from insulting his wife and hurting her feelings because her tears are very um close they're easy to come so her being insulted is close by and therefore if she cries Hashem will listen to her and it's very dangerous but it doesn't mean just your wife any woman who who any sensitive person who cries easily is very dangerous but certainly your wife so this gives us another thought that before you hurt your wife's feelings before you insult your wife remember this a person should always be careful with hurting his wife since she's it's easy for her to cry so it's easier to be over on was destroyed the gates of daving were lock closes down our nevertheless even though the gates of were closed locked but the gates of Tears listen to my and my cry should or my begging you shall listen to into my tears don't turn a deaf ear to back in the they wanted to make of BS the but it didn't have ready yet okay look 90% of it is built let's just do said no the re said we don't have sh anymore the gates of are closed so what do we have left the gates of crying who cries the most women they ding with tears so we really need the let's wait for to be finished then we'll do so on the one hand we have a contradiction on the one hand it says if you listen to your wife if you take her advice you fall into this very interesting who the biggest Russ the biggest king Russ that ever lived so thei tells us that Ley d for six months this part of the puzle and after six months he had a dream came to him in a dream and said what are you doing why are you stuck on this part of the pule go go to the end of the puzle in as well it's interesting means you must finish the so let me see if I can finish the Pu for you here we go he did the bad FR of his wife steered him to do the wrong in other words you see that if you take the advice of your wife you'll be like you it could bring bad things but this doesn't work well people say if your wife is short as such you should bend over and Whisper to her in other words take her advice here let's see what he has to say oh do you think I should take out the garbage and change my socks he's about to get such a zets okay so ask for advice I think out the garbage not think out the garbage you should should ask advice when you're asking things about the house great you're asking things in the world you shouldn't ask her when it comes to things that are important forap like learning and ding that sort of thing don't ask her when it comes to anything else in the world then you should ask your wife for advice why because a guy learns in Yesa he knows more TI than his wife he shouldn't be asking his wife about TI the gates of people who CED because they were insulted and hurt that Hashem listens to be careful so if somebody screams to Hashem because he was hurt Hashem will listen wall That's Plum be he has in his hand a plum line let's see if I have a plum line I had it be here before Oh actually have two of them one in blue and one in metal they're hard to see but bottom line is it's a weight that has a string attached to the top and when you hang it from somewhere because of the weight it's going to make the string pull straight and that's you can build a straight wall based on the string you can see in the right picture both pictures actually using a tape measure to the string and you just go keep on going up and up and that's how you know if your wall is plum and straight so it says that AEM is holding the tool in other words he himself is there as is going to explain uses a messenger to take Revenge avenge for different sins when it comes to insulting somebody then takes Revenge himself is with theol there's a wall there's so to speak it's all in order to protect people the they stand in the way of the andem they kind of like mix it up so to speak so that doesn't see it right away there such a thing doesn't take revenge right away besides three sees right through all walls which ones are not insulting somebody hurting somebody with words stealing with I'll hear it right away away on My Face the People the talks about they anger me be careful to have enough food in the house today they say that the number one fight by couples is over money that's like I think the number one thing this is something similar food money in those days they didn't have that much cash it wasn't about cash it was about food survival the fighting happens usually happens because of [Music] food when there's no more barley in the jar then you knock and out comes the fight in the house person should always be very careful to have enough food wheat cherol was considered poor because of their dealings with wheat talking about they became very poor because of Mion and the and the wheat that they were planting a person should always be careful in the honor of his wife the ra says interesting talking about PES now so says that on P night the mitvah of leaning over has is for men forgot to mention I'll mention it now just in case I forget by next year remember that the is to lean the head on something a lot of people they lean the shoulder and their head is like no it's the head and that if you're not mocking on that it's unfortunate I forgot to mention it before PES but it's better later than ever according to I think the you're not if your head is not on something okay so the Ramos says that women are why because they're says what do you mean they're where where do you see that women are more than they were a thousand years ago so he says because actually is a thousand years ago instituted that you cannot divorce your wife forcefully you can't marry two women so they gave women extra and therefore they should do like a queen a wife causes the Bro in the house so you have to respect that you have to give that extra respect if you want bro in your house respect your wife par gave a because of aded City if you want to become rich give honor to your wives they should become wealthy you want to become wealthy give honor to your wife so now we're going to the very very famous story of this is a continuation of the fits right into our because we are dealing with hurting a person and when you hurt a person even if you're doing as always says you [Music] doing why did he die he died because at the end of the day know you got to be careful super super super careful with so over here is the reason why reeler unfortunately for the rest of his life was inid sh this is the famous story of so I sent this to Yoshi I said give me a picture of a oven that looks similar to this game the the reason is because each one of these Rings represents a piece of birther wear and becomes narrower narrow as it climbs up so give me an oven that looks like this and this is what he gave me I think it's beautiful you put the pot in the bottom and it becomes narrow but here's what's beautiful take a look you see that in between each ring there's cement made out of sand and here we have if this oven is considered earn wear so then it's ma T let's say a dead rat touches the the oven so anything with inside the ear space of the oven not touching the oven but inside the ear space of the oven becomes tumy but if we don't consider this oven ear wear we consider dirt look it's equally dirt and ear so what do we consider it if it's a piece of dirt it's Clay G clay clay Adama it's a a CLE it's a vessel made out of dirt made out of um feces from a cow whatever it's not rear is the opinion that it's not M we consider it dirt and therefore any fruit that touched it in it whatever meat not say is that was their argument as we'll see was right was right are right why because there a majority a majority always wins even if the other person is right now some two lines from the bottom you cut down earthw to Rings he put dirt between the Rings says it's considered earn wear uh not earn wear dirt wear is considered and this is the famous kidy in hon of my uncle with us officials mitvah motivators in honor of the LeMans for sponsoring for the daily learning and by the Gman Brothers for the yard sites of our grandfathers why is it called an oven of what does mean here's an says rash a snake that puts its tail into its mouth thank you Mark it's a circle [Music] that came and and and um circled him with questions about what he had to say and they said you are wrong we are right it's [Music] says sorry he answered told him everything all his questions answers all his proofs in the world They didn't accept it from him and he says to them this is the very very famous story if is like me I want this boxer tree to prove that I am right it was uprooted it flew one 100 200t in another Direction some say 800t we are not convinced just because the a tree was uprooted we're not going to prove anything from that he says okay you don't agree with that why don't you agree with that because maybe the was uprooted because of the CET of not because he was right in so perhaps the river will prove that I'm right in fact the River start flowing in the opposite direction theous changed over here everything is showing that rear is right not buding cannot bring any proof from the flow of water the walls of should [Music] prove so the walls started falling down yelled at the walls fighting what right do you have to interfere and mix in who are you to decide what's what the walls did not fall because of they didn't go back to where they were supposed to go because of the if you go to that place today you'll see that the walls are like halfway in between falling he said you know what you don't you don't trust me from the trees and the water and the walls I'll prove it straight out of heaven what are you why are you fighting with like everywhere in stood up on his feet and he said is not in heaven you have no right to decide and send out your messages from Heaven what does it mean gave you gave it to human beings we cannot listen to heavenly [Music] voices you ready in your you said we have a rule that when we don't know what the is and when we have a fight and learning we go by the majority yes is Right perhaps you are right that he's right but we are the ones that decide in this world what T is it's interesting I had an argument on this p with somebody who doesn't really believe in you Works in other words is a rule that we in in the generations I don't know in our generat so much but yes when the get together and they decide a certain that is the even ifem doesn't agree to that it becomes because said that the should go by the majority so he has to agree with his own Rule and that's why what did do at that moment when said we don't we don't listen to the basketall was happy he was smiling and he said my children you beat me you beat me with my own rule the rule of beat me I think says that although the mous show show it otherwise the water flowing in One Direction is comes from Hashem saying that it should flow in that direction when when he created the world and Reb uprooted that to prove himself the tree flew the walls are moving but stands is greater and stronger than all those called that very day everything that touched that oven that said is they took it and burnt it to show that that and they made a vote and they said and they blessed him and it's the it's means they put him in he was in you can't have any dealings with him you can't come to a show you don't talk to him you sit fours away from him said who's gonna notify that he's in he's being stubborn he doesn't want to say that says shall go perhaps somebody that's not proper will go and say you know put you'll be so upset the world will be destroyed he wore black clothes but and he covered his head in Black for away what what are you doing here what's different today why you dressed like this seems to me like your friends are dist distancing themselves from you he ripped his clothing like you do at he took off his shoes like you do sit on the ground start crying and here again once again we see this idea of Tears how powerful tears are second he started crying the entire world all produce of Olives wheat and barley a third when five if woman was baking bread it spoiled T terrible thing happened that day greater than that whereever poked his eyes looked at burnt reminds me when he came out of the cave bur was on a ship this is just a depiction but there was a tremendous wave that came to bring down the ship I think this is all because of I am at fault here that's why it's coming to kill me gets up on his Fe you know that I didn't put I didn't do this I didn't fight with him for my own honor and for the honor of my father I did it for your H in order that there shouldn't be any and because of that I really wanted to find the I know it's out there and it's been bothering me why is explain to I didn't do it for my own honor I did it you hasm said okay no no more waves but hasem didn't know Ring's intent let's say R's intent was for his own honor so just because he said it then is going to forgive him he said it's not El it wasn't for his own honor it's for the for the honor of didn't know it's for his honor why does he have to tell him that okay whatever the is says now before I say the story I want to ask you something what is the most thing that ever happened to you during daving Shak Monday morning daving the most thing that ever happened is when you find out that the sand of the bris is sitting in this show right here I don't have to say unbelievable what a or if the walks in told my son who just became mitvah I said you know I told him during say why we don't the whole month we don't say goes yes you're so excited yes that's an excitement of a 13-year-old of somebody that doesn't know I saw with my own eyes a safer I've been in places where it says today there's no because it's the of lived 7,000 years ago and this nobody knows his name this is you don't to say this a whole book says this today is this and this and this and every day is another to wow it's a mistake says there's a lady by the name of she had more wife's wife's daughter married the daughter-in-law ofler the more she was the wife of and the sister she was the sister now there's a fight going on here between her brother and her husband nobody can talk to him he can't go to show he D at home from that day on she wouldn't allow her husband to say is so powerful it has so much to it we are just we have no idea we don't have to no it's we're missing out on the beautiful which could kill another human being it could kill all your enemies if you knew that it would kill all your enemies you okay it's a powerful she wouldn't allow now there's a difference between a full month a month of 29 and a month of 30 days when do you make that month happened to be a full month so you make on the 31st day she thought that today she made a mistake tomorrow so she thought her husband's not going to say so she didn't care she walked away and that was a boo boo because her husband and died on the spot or you can say I'm sorry let's just read it she got confused between a full month and a month of 29 days versus 30 days she thought that today because it's 29 day but it's really 30 day1 some say no a poor person came knocked on the door she brought out bread for the poor she she comes inside and she sees her husband like his head like this he's picking up his head oh what's going on get up you killed my brother without even knowing that her brother died she said my brother died there was an announcement husband tells his wife how do you know he's gonna die you think I'm just you married over here I come from from a family of I come from I come from I realized before that this this goes together that the the gates of those who are hurt like you my husband you're hurt from what did to you they are not locked and when you D in with tears says Rashi because the tears are there then hasm listens how did know because we had the story that's my little I think that's what she meant that I'm hurt and he brought a RI theor brings a from you see that it works that the tears of actually worked if you say something not nice to him and if you put pressure on him to pay back a loan says he says you steal from him but over here we're talking about putting pressure for loan only two you're right it's talking about a regular Jew but is already a regular Jew so this you put pressure on they should pay which is talking to all whether you say not nice things to him or you pressure him to pay back alone 36 different places in the Wars you not to bother again say 46 why 36 so open up a bar line and do a search G how many times it comes up and you'll see 36 to 26 46 says the last there are places in the that doesn't say don't bother again but it talks about again and that's also part of the 46 why so so many places because a g is very sensitive he wants to keep on going back to being a go and by you insulting him you're pushing him off the D so to speak there's a a guy that married I'm sure you all know a story too but I know somebody in Chicago who married a woman who very close to my wife and he a g and then one day he decided to go back to where he was that's it I don't know if somebody say something that nice him in show but but the point is that it happens that somebody becomes a g we had this crazy message just recently the guy that was uh he sent and remember that whole story no no I'm talking about there's a guy in satmer just this this past year the guy in satmer he was a g and he wrote a whole book he went he went back to being a go he says I don't hate Jews people thought you know people giving you money and he got married no the whole M with him it happens that a guy becomes a gett and goes back you don't want to push him off push him off cuz he's already a Jew and he's going to be over all the there's no going back don't tell oh you're you also we're all we're talking about here we read this we remind ourselves we were G we didn't belong it's right so don't tell him what you have when you have something wrong with you don't say that fault to your friend that's what people say if somebody they hung somebody in his family so don't talk about so don't you use that when you tell the slave hey hang the fish the word hanging doesn't fly anymore in this family because there someone's hung so don't say the word g when you yourself are a good day shabas